Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I got some new pain pills for the pelvic pain.  Unfortunately, they DON'T work.  When I took them last night, on the way home from the store, they never kicked in.  I am so bummed about that because this pain is really bad.  I can't get a hold of the OBGYN that I need to so I guess it is the emergency room for me because I can't handle another day/night of this excruciating pain.  I do have a UTI, but that does not explain the pain.  I am supposed to have the ultra sound tomorrow.  When Tillie arrives today we will head to the hospital.  I don't want to go, but I can't take the pain anymore.  I haven't really slept in over a week now since the pain started last Monday.

On a lighter note, Mom has had her first bath with the hospice aide.  She is very nice and thorough.  She will do Mom's hair on Mondays and Fridays because that is what I requested.  I don't think it needs to be done more than that.  So far, I like all the hospice people.  We are waiting for one more person to arrive today to meet with Mom and I.  I think it is the spiritual advisor.  I don't know exactly what he does, but we will find out.  Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays will be Mom's bath days at around 1 pm.  I like that they have appointments with us because the other company, you never knew when they would come.  It changed from week to week and day to day so your whole day was shot because you couldn't plan around it.  With hospice, it is appointments so you know when they are coming.  The nurse will be here either tomorrow or Friday to check on Mom's sores.

I have called, again, the company that the hospital bed is from.  They were supposed to call me back in 15 minutes.  This was an hour ago.  This happened the last few times I called.  There is a new hospital bed waiting to be delivered for Mom.  I am so unhappy about this because the new bed is waiting to be delivered.  They wanted to deliver it yesterday but they can't until this bed is gone.  I want this bed out of my house.  I don't really want the new one, but it is an air type bed which will be better for Mom.  It is a special bed for her that will help heal the sores and prevent them from coming back which is exactly what we need.  I am not happy that I have to put it in the living room, where I teach but all my students are aware of what is going on so no surprises there.  If the kids don't know, the parents do.  I will make the bed up everyday so it will look nice and neat.  I don't like that Mom loses her privacy, but what else can I do?  She is having trouble with the stairs and she needs a bed where she won't get sores on.  I am sure after a few weeks it will be fine and we will both be used to it.

I hope your day is going well.  It is very nice out here right now.  The sun is shining and it is a bit warm, not too warm, but a bit warm.  Enough to fill your soul.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Relief has arrived!

I feel so much better today!  Tons better!  It is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I met with Melissa, the hospice nurse, and she spent about 4 hours here filling out papers, talking, answering questions, even giving Mom her bath since we can't have the other home care aide do it since we are now a hospice family.  It is amazing what they do, simply amazing.  I almost cried so many times today from relief.  Of everything I done and the decisions I have made, this was the best one yet.  They will be here from now until the end so how cool and great is that?  I mean, if she falls, they will be here, if she gets another infection (which will probably happen) they will be here, if I need something in the middle of the night, they will be here.  Also, Dr. G, our family doctor, is also on board with all this.  He wants to remain her doctor until the end, so really, how cool is that.  If, though, for some reason, he can't be gotten a hold of, they have their own doctors on call, so we are so covered it is unbelievable.  Also, most of her medicine is now covered.  I only have to pay for her synthroid and namenda, so I am excited about that.  They also will cover her briefs, no more shopping for briefs, they will send them to me.  The hospital bed we currently have in the living room must go back because they will be sending me one that is an airbed, specific for people like mom who have problems with skin breakdowns.  I am just so relieved over everything.  The best thing?  She said Mom has time.  She has some left.  She gave me hope too, something I haven't had in a long time.  Yes, I know Mom is dying, but she isn't going to die in the next few weeks, she has some time left.  Also, Mom can be a hospice patient indefinitely, she can be recertified over and over again until the end.  Overall, it is the best situation we can be in for this horrible situation.  Mom will still be dying day by day, but I have help in making her last days better for her.  She will be pain free and comfortable.  That is what is the best.  If Mom needs 24/7 care, they will be here and Medicare pays for all of this.  All of this.  I am so happy and grateful for this program.

The pain level for the fibro has dropped dramatically today, however, the pelvic pain is still excruciating.  I did call the doctor's office and asked for pain medicine for this.  I am hoping a prescription will be called in tomorrow for me.  We shall see.

Overall, I must say today has been the best day all summer and so far this fall.  Mom is even doing better today than she has in over a week when she went to the hospital.  She is talkative (okay, I don't understand half of what she is saying) and she even ate a whole bowl of cereal, something she couldn't do sometime.  She hasn't had much of her Ensure, but she is looking perked and talking, so something good has happened to her.

I hope your day has been as good as mine.  It has truly been one to remember, I have help with Mom.  Whatever I need for her, I can get.  I can't express how relieved I am over this whole situation.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


A nurse from Hospice will be here in the morning.  At 11 am to be exact so we will be getting out of bed earlier than usual.  The other times we could have her visit were when I would be teaching so that wouldn't work out plus I would like the assessment done as soon as possible.

I can't believe we may be at the point where hospice is called.  The physical therapist, Lori, suggested I call them so I went online to get the information and they called this afternoon.  I knew it would happen soon but was not ready to hear that today, although a part of me was wondering how one gets hospice involved. I called and left a message with Richard so he would know, but that is about all I can do.  Tillie will be here for the assessment.

I have been reading a lot today to keep my mind of tomorrow.  The pain is still there but I am getting used to it.  I hope it is something easy that will be fixed immediately because, quite frankly, I can't handle anything else.  My friends, both online and in person, have been very helpful and hopeful for me.  I am trying to remind myself that this doesn't mean that anything will happen right now, it is just to make sure Mom is taken care of, which has always been my goal.  My focus has always, and needs to always be, on making sure Mom is taken care of.  She is sleeping in the living room right now.  She also, has almost finished her Ensure so I am pretty positive she will at least start another by nighttime which will be the first since she came home from the hospital.  Like Kathy said, maybe she just needed a few extra days to recover from the hospital.  I have known for a few days that Mom is taking another step down.  I can see it even if I choose to ignore it which I do a lot.  I am not blind, I can see how fragile she is, but I do firmly believe that if she doesn't use her muscles she will lose her muscles.  I also think that her routine should not be broken if she can still do it, so until she can no longer get in a car, we are going out everyday.  It is good for the both of us.  That I know for sure.  She enjoys going out with me.  When we come home, she is tired, so she takes a nap.  Yes, I know, she sleeps more than she is awake right now.  It was bound to happen.

Tomorrow I also have to go to the Doctor's and give another urine sample.  They lost the one I did on Friday.  The doctor wants a culture of it.  I hope to have answers soon.

I am going to go and get one of my favorite books and continue reading and being quiet.  I am not really hungry for dinner, but I will make myself something small.  My heart is too sore to eat, but I must keep up my strength or I won't be any good for Mom.

I do hope you had a good day and are enjoying the fall.  The weather has been very nice and has put smiles both on my face and on Mom's face.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

lazy saturday

Hi!  Well, I have been very lazy this day.  I slept in and I took a nap.  I needed the nap as for some unknown reason I have been very tired lately, very, very tired.  I mean, I was up for 2 hours and needed a nap, that is rather unusual for me.  I finally caved and went into the living room at about 3 and slept for about 2 1/2 hours.  I could have slept for more but the phone rang and I was hoping it was big brother letting me know he got my email.

The new pain is in the pelvic area and it affects walking, sitting, laying, and standing, so essentially anything I do makes it hurt worse.  The Darvocet plus Tylenol seems to take the edge off it, but it still hurts.  The one place I sit in the living room with the feet up makes it hurt less.  I have looked online to see what it could possibly be and I hope it is something easy because the other choices scare the daylights out of me.  I won't know more until after I get the test results back from the one exam and the ultra sound, which is Thursday.  I have an appointment next Friday with the Doctor.  He can't give me any medicine until he knows what it is.  That scares me too because usually he can come up with what's wrong and here is the medicine but not this time.  I have a dread pit in my stomach that has never been there before and I am trying to be positive about the whole thing, but I am fighting a losing battle with myself.  Never have I felt like this before.  It is new to me.  How on earth do people handle this type of situation?  I really need help with this.  All my brain can go to are the worst case scenarios and that is just not me.  I am an optimistic person, have been forever, and now I am pessimistic?  How does this happen?  All I know is that this pain is worse than the blood clot pain that I had in 2005.  It is worst than the chest pains I had.  At least those pains went away and I had really good pain killers for them.  I don't have much for this.  It is hard getting Mom's pants and shoes on because I have to bend too.  I try not to let her see that because she will cry and not understand what is going on but I have never put her pants on or taken them off so fast in my life.  Zip, zip, done.  Until this is diagnosed I can't help but dread getting Mom up in the morning or putting her to bed at night.  We go to bed a bit earlier than we did last week because I am so tired, but Mom isn't tired and doesn't want to go to bed.  She goes up with me but doesn't want to lay down in her bed which is exactly what I want to do.  Last night she took an hour to lay down.  I tried to explain that I was exhausted and needed to go to bed, she said, well, go to bed.  I can't go to bed until she does because I don't think she can crawl into her bed anymore.  Finally, I just moved her legs and put her in bed.  I know she was a awake for a while after that because I could hear her talking.

Anyways, I hope you day is better than mine!  This pain has got to go.  Maybe it will mysteriously disappear like it appeared?  I could get lucky, one never knows.

Friday, September 24, 2010

tired day

I am very tired today.  I did have to get up a bit earlier than usual for the doctor's appointment, but I took a nap and I don't feel like I did.  I am still tired.  We will be heading to bed early that is for sure.

I didn't get any medicine from the doctor to help the pain.  I have to have a Ultra sound next week and then I will see him the week after for test results.  Until then, I will just have to take pain pills to help the pain.  Ugh, is my answer to that.  I was hoping for an easy answer for this one.  Why do I get the ones they are puzzled over?  I know many of us get strange things, it isn't just me.  I am lucky though because I have supportive friends and family.  Tillie is coming over on Wednesday afternoon to stay with Mom while I have my super early ultra sound appointment.  I have to get up at 6 am to drink 40 oz of water.  You can stop laughing now, yes, I said 6 am.  The appointment is at 7:30 am.  Mom won't have to woken up to come with me now, which I was concerned about.  I am not looking forward to getting up that early.  Of course, I will probably go right back to bed when I get home.  Or at least, take a long nap in the afternoon. Tillie kind of chuckled at the time too.  I don't blame her.  I was somewhat laughing at myself for the same reason.  I am so not a morning person.  I usually get up between 11 to 12 noon everyday.  I have been looking up stuff on the Internet about the pain, but no answers so far jump out at me.  I am going to stop looking up anything because it only scares me more.  I do hope it is nothing serious.  I really do.

Mom is doing okay.  She isn't drinking as much as she normally does, but I am encouraging her to drink more.  She did pretty well going to the doctor and then our usual.  The only hick up today was when we were leaving Timmy's, she didn't want to get in the car right away.  She was sure she didn't want to get in the car.  She, of course, eventually did.  I don't know why she gets that way, but she does at times.  Maybe we should have gone to the drive through.  I don't know.  She is slowly slipping away from me and I am not liking this.  Not one bit, I want my mom back, the one from a few years ago before she got sick.  That's the one I want.  I do know deep down she is the same mom, but this new, scared all the time Mom doesn't seem to enjoy stuff like the old Mom did.  However, I will keep her, this Mom is better than no Mom that is for sure.  I do appreciate that I still have one as many of my friends don't.

I was reading one of my regular blogs and the topic was comments.  I just want you to know, I read and appreciate each comment I get.  I really do.  I love reading what you write to me and the encouragement I get is awesome.

I do hope this finds you doing well and having a good day.  Despite being tired, it has been an okay day, didn't like the doctor's appointment, but then who does?  Overall, it has been a good day.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I can't get to the doctor until tomorrow.  Great, it hurts really, really bad.  Of course, it started on Monday and had I made an appointment earlier in the week, I would probably not be in pain right now.  What can I say?  I am sick of doctors and I thought the over the counter stuff would work.

That aside, I am really tired today for some reason.  Probably from the extra pain, but hey, with Fibro, who knows?  I think in a few minutes I will head to the living room with the little Mom and take a nap.  I am that tired today.  I didn't sleep very well most of the night.  Mom looks tired too but she usually takes a nap in the afternoon anyways.

We could have gone to our usual this afternoon after all.  I have been waiting for the home health care aide to arrive to give Mom her bath.  I just called her because she is never this late.  The office didn't call her yet to let her know she can start.  It would have been nice to know earlier because we didn't go.  Mom only ate 1/3 of her cereal and she has had a few sips of her ensure.  She has got to finish at least 2 of them today.  That is my goal.

Naps are over.  I was so tired I had to save this post and finish it later.  I was that tired.  Mom and I headed into the living room and sat down and took naps.  The pain is still pretty bad but the pain pills are helping.  I could just scream at myself for procrastinating on this.

Not much happening for the rest of the evening.  We are watching HG TV, Mom is slowly, and I mean slowly, drinking her 1st Ensure of the day.  I really need her to be drinking at least 3 of them a day.  She just isn't thirsty or hungry right now.  It has me worried about her.  Is she going down?  Seems that way to me for right now.

I hope this finds you doing well today.  We are just very tired around here.  Could be the effect of extra pain, I have an appointment for tomorrow.  I hope he can fix this and then be done with it.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I have pain where I have never had pain before.  Unfortunately, this pain is not associated with Fibro and I will have to go to the doctor.  Over the counter stuff isn't cutting it.  It is better than yesterday, but still rather bad so tomorrow morning I will call the doctor and go.  Ugh, like I can afford another doctor appointment.  I already owe this particular doctor over $800.  I am slowly paying on it.  The good thing though is that I am able to make a small payment tomorrow towards the balance, unless a miracle happens and the over the counter stuff works and the pain is gone!  One can daydream you know.  It is possible.  The darvocet is totally kicking in now, ahhhh, finally!

It has been a quiet type day around here.  Mom slept in, which I expected as the little person is very tired from no sleep for the last 4 days.  I mean, she did get some sleep, but you can't tell me that a person who is woken up every 2 hours to be turned, gets a good night sleep.  She sure did last night.  We went to bed about 9:30 so she was in bed about 10:00 pm.  Mom woke up at about 12:30 pm this afternoon.  We went to our usual after we got up.  We ran into our friends there, they were almost done by the time we arrived.  They were so happy to see Mom.  Mom said she was glad to see them too.  She is very polite and courteous, that is just Mom.  After we were there for about an hour, we headed home.  I checked my email, read a few blogs, and then turned off the computer and went into the living room.  Mom was already asleep, no surprise there, I truly expect her to sleep quite a bit in the next few days.  I sat on my chair, what a relief, and fell asleep for about 2 1/2 hours.  Evelyn the nurse, arrived about 5 pm to check Mom out.  She saw the new sores on Mom's bottom, they are in stage one, just on the surface.  The one that Mom had when she went into the hospital is gone and 2 more have arrived.  I hope they are gone in a few days.  I have good cream for them.  Mom is slowly getting back into drinking her Ensure.  So far, she is still on the first one.  I expected this.  It takes a few days for her to get back into drinking 3 to 4 of them a day.

Overall, the new pain is overshadowing the fibro pain so I will get that taken care of tomorrow or at least I will try to get an appointment for tomorrow.  I really hope so.  Mom is doing well and seems to be happy to be home.  As expected, she is afraid to be anywhere I am not.  This is normal for her when she gets out of the hospital.  She hasn't cried much today, so yeah! on that.  Overall, I am very pleased with her progress today.  I expect that she will sleep in again tomorrow and by Saturday or Sunday she will be back to her regular sleep pattern.  Remember, she has had 4 days of totally interrupted sleep.  I did enjoy the time I had to myself.  I read a lot!  I love reading!  I was able to talk to Richard, which was awesome, and basically, I thoroughly relaxed and recharged the batteries!  It is a bit difficult to help her get dressed and undressed with the pain, but I am doing pretty well.  Mom is getting better at walking again.  She went up the stairs last night and down the stairs this morning really well.  She didn't have any problem and I was ready for one.  She was a bit nervous coming down this morning but she stepped down like a trooper.  Mom is a bit nervous over all for walking and going up and down stairs, which is to be expected since she was not walking for 4 1/2 days.  I would say though, that I am very pleased with her progress.  Now on to other issues with me and we will be just fine!

It is supposed to be very hot tomorrow, yuck.  I hope to remember to bring shorts upstairs tonight with my clean undies and socks when I go to bed.  Yes, I know, it would be so much easier if I would bring my clean clothes upstairs when they are finished but I don't.  I plan to, but things happen and then I forget.

I hope this finds you doing well.  Fall begins tonight after 11 pm and tomorrow is supposed to be hot.  Hm, not the fall weather I have been enjoying.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Mom is coming home!

Yes, the little Mother will be home after 5 pm today.  After 4 days in the hospital, it is about time.  Although, I will freely admit I enjoyed my time to myself.  I am on book 6 of the books I got.  (1 from Kathy and 5 from the used bookstore).  I greatly enjoyed reading whenever I felt like it and I feel like my batteries are recharged.  I am ready to be caregiver full-time again.  Right now she is in stage 6, but slowly she is being pulled into stage 7, which is the last stage.  I only hope and pray that stage 7 is painless for her.  I will have more help at that stage because it is the end.  Medicare does help pay for end of life and that is where she is headed.  I don't know how long I have her, it could be years still, but stage 7 is the end of it.

She remembered who I was all day yesterday.  When I got there (I only visit for about an hour at a time, as I need her to sleep and rest) the doctor was there.  The night time nurse was with the day time nurse as it was shift change.  She asked Mom who I was and Mom, being her silly self, said, hm, I think that is Heather, my daughter, and laughed!  It was very cute.  She kept saying my name over and over yesterday to talk to me.  She wasn't upset when I left, which has been the case the entire time she has been there this time.  I have her room already for her.  I was going to wash her blankets while she was gone, but I was too busy reading.  I didn't do much work around the house at all.  I was completely lazy!  Completely!  I did have to do one load of laundry as I was out of the essentials (undies!) But other than that, I did nothing but enjoy my time to myself and boy did I enjoy it!

With Mom in the hospital, usually I would be in more pain, because the last few times it really stressed me out.  This time?  No extra pain!  How cool is that?  I think because we have been through this before and it may happen again, I was prepared for it.  I knew she was in good hands.  The doctors and the nurses are wonderful, simply wonderful, at the Beaumont Hospital.  She gets great care.  I don't have to worry about anything while she is there.  Anything she needs, she has.  They are very good with this stage of Alzheimer's, which is a great relief to me.  All the nurses think Mom is super sweet (she is!) and easy to work with.  They all know she doesn't like to be rolled over, but they do it ever so gently so she doesn't get to frightened.

My head has been it's normal self, not bad headache since Friday, my knee is getting a bit better.  It doesn't hurt as much right now, and the Fibro seems to be under control, the best that it can be.  Today anyways, with Fibro, who knows?  It could change in an instant.

Anyways, my NCIS starts tonight and I am excited about that.  I am hoping that Mom is able to handle watching that show as it is one of my all time favorites.  She did well a couple of weeks ago when we were watching it.  At 8 pm I will be in the dining room watching my beloved show.  I did watch a bit of Dancing with the Stars last night and it was good.  I got tired so I went to bed.  I had some pain from the yeast infection I have and it kept waking me up.  Who knew a little thing like that could be so painful?  I didn't.  I have some better medicine now, so I am hopeful it will clear up quickly.  Never want one of those again.

It is simply beautiful out, simply beautiful.  It is about 84 degrees with zero humidity, so quite lovely.  I only wish Mom and I could take a walk in this beautiful weather, but we can't.  She just can't do it by herself anymore and I can't ride a scooter and push a wheelchair at the same time.  We will both just enjoy looking out the window, we do like to do that.

Well, I hope this finds you doing really well, have a great day!  I am!!!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I can't really say I have done anything to exciting while I have had time to myself.  I have read about 4 books now!  Love reading, although I am a bit more tired than usual.  When Mom isn't feeling herself it makes me more tired because she needs more help.  Now that she is getting excellent care for the infection and dehydration, I can relax and I have been.  I thought about going to a movie, but there isn't anything I really want to see so I looked in the DVDs that we have and their are several movies I have been wanting to see.  I have to watch them when Mom is either sleeping or not here because TV can be scary for her.  I did let the nurse know not to turn the TV on in her room, not just because I don't really have the money to pay for it, but because unless it is HG TV, some of the shows can scare the living daylights out of her.  She thinks that some of it is real and happening in front of her.  So, I have scaled back what we watch on TV.  I  am hoping that I will still be able to watch my NCIS, but I am not very hopeful.  Now that I am alone, I plan to watch a couple of movies that I have been wanting to see.  2 of them are the MacGyver TV movies that were made after the series ended.  I loved that show.  I also have the Percy Jackson movie too.  I do plan to get the Ramona movie when it comes out and I think Mom will like it.  I wanted to see it in the theatre, but we just never got the chance to go when we were both awake enough to see it.  In the afternoons, when we usually go to the movies, Mom is sleeping for her nap time.

I talked to Richard today!  That was exciting!  I talked to him for almost 40 minutes.  I gave him the lowdown on Mom and how she  is doing, even though I will see her this evening.  I am not sure if I have any lessons this afternoon or not, so I am not leaving until after the time, just in case.  They are every other week and this should be the week, but one never knows with this particular family.  I don't want to miss the possible 2 lessons, so here I stay.  Richard, the older brother, is very concerned on how does Mom keep getting these infections.  I would like to know too because the poor little Mom has had 3 since May when she first came down with one.  Anyways, I told Richard I would be finding out for him and for myself.  Okay, just called the Alzheimer's Association, once they get them, it is very, very easy for them to get again.  Since I take care of that part of her, I will be more vigilant on this so she doesn't get them again.  I can't be lazy, I think there is another reason too, but that one I can't do anything about. Richard is on his way to Toronto for a week of work.  He wants me to keep him posted (which I would anyways since I send weekly updates to him) on any changes on the little Mom.  I don't know when he is coming to see her, if he even can because he is still out of work and he has got to take the work when he can get it.  He did want to know how I was doing and I told him I was alright, not great, but alright, which is the truth.  I did tell him about the bad headaches I have had in the last few weeks, but basically we are doing okay.  Our bills are being paid and that is the important part.  He asked about money and I said we are able to pay the bills and put some on the back 2009 property taxes, which I have been about to pay about 1/4 of the bill so far.  I am excited about that.  Paying my car off has really helped in that area.  Richard said it was a good idea to pay off the car, he wasn't upset over that at all which is good.  Basically, he wanted the rundown on Mom and I, and I gave it to him like it is.  He is hanging in there too, and with the bit of contract work he has been able to find, he is doing fine.  I am so glad about that.  He does have a family to feed.  I let him know that Mom is scared so much of the time and how I handle it.  I also told him that when Mom isn't scared, she is content.  Mom hasn't had an easy road of it, like so many, so it is important to me that her last few years she be content.  She smiles a lot, especially when I ask where the pretty Mom smile is, she likes that a lot.  I told him we would be going to the zoo soon with Maia and how we still try to have fun together.  He asked me about Mom's favorite restaurant.  I told him Olive Garden because that one she seems to eat rather well at.  I always (now anyways) get her a kid's meal that comes with milk.  She loves milk and so do I.  I get her a milk at Tim Horton's everyday.  I told the hospital she loves milk so they are giving her milk everyday too.  She really likes milk.  I am glad about that because milk has 8 to 9 grams of protein in it depending on the brand and size.

I am just waiting to see if Rachel and Rebecca

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I am much more relaxed this time with Mom being in the hospital than the other 3 times.  I went to the used bookstore and bought 5 new (well, new to me) books to read, plus I am reading one Kathy loaned me.  It is really good so far.

Mom is doing alright, she looks tons better than she did yesterday.  When I was in Tim Horton's (yes, I even go by myself!) the owner, Mary Ann, said Mom didn't look to good yesterday either.  Which I totally agree on because, as we all now know, she wasn't feeling very well.  Her lips are moist now with all the fluids she is receiving.  They are going to start cutting down on the fluids tomorrow to see if she will eat more.  I most definitely gave them the low down on her and food.  I told the truth, she doesn't eat much but she will drink about 3 to 4 Ensures a day when she is healthy.  It's the truth, she doesn't eat much food.  She has a donut and sometimes a muffin for brunch, a piece (3 oz) of chicken breast for dinner, and if I am lucky, some veggies to go with that.  Usually I am not that lucky.  The doctor asked about a pick line for her for food and I told her Mom can swallow, she just doesn't eat a lot, so no need of a pick line for her.  She is on the same floor she was last time, so I know she is in good hands and I am going to relax and enjoy the peace and quiet while it is here.  Mom will be home before I know it and then it won't be quiet like it is right now.  I was going to do some laundry, but, hey, I will do it tomorrow.  I don't feel like doing it right now so I won't.  I feel like reading, so I am going to.

It is so quiet in the house right now, I am loving this.  Of course, Mom isn't that loud, but the fact that I have the whole house to myself right now, is nice.  At night I leave a couple of lights on so I can sleep.  I can't sleep in a totally dark house by myself, just can't do it.

My head is doing a bit better today.  Definitely not as sore as it was yesterday, but still a bit sore.  I have been a bit stressed this week.  I stress myself out is part of the problem, and also, when Mom isn't as cooperative as she usually is, it stresses me out.  Now I know why she wasn't very cooperative, but at the time I just thought she was being difficult.

Well, not much happening today other than the visit with Mom.  I try to go when she is finished eating because, quite frankly, I don't want to feed her.  That is their job while she is there and when I go and it happens to be a meal time, I end up feeding her and I just don't want to.  I feed her at home (when she needs it) and I don't want to feed her when she is there.  I went after 1 pm and her lunch, untouched, was still sitting there, so I ended up feeding her.  I was kind of upset because, come on, just sit with her and feed her, not that hard to do.  She will let you know when she is full.  She ate her boost pudding and drank a bit of the boost juice and was full.  Normal to me, that is her in the hospital.  She loves pudding so I always give her the boost pudding first.  I don't buy it at home, I buy regular pudding for her because the boost stuff is very expensive and you have to send out for it.  You can't buy it at a regular store around here.  Besides, I figure with the amount of Ensure she drinks, she doesn't need the boost puddings, just regular puddings.

Aggie didn't have her lesson because she is sick.  Poor kid, 3rd week of her junior year at MSU and she has a cold.  I think her roommates have one too.  Ugh, doesn't sound fun to me.

Well, it is raining out today which is probably why I have a bit more than usual of a headache.  My joints are a bit achy from it too, so I am going to curl up with a book and have a good read!  yes, peaceful reading time for me today!  Perfect day for it.  I may even take a brief nap as I am a bit tired too.

Have a wonderful day.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Well, the reason Mom has been off for the last couple of days?  She has another urinary tract infection, a bad one this time.  Poor thing is in pain too with it.  She has a headache and her neck is sore too.  I don't know why.  I need to look up her new pain patch to make sure it isn't causing the headaches and neck aches.  Lori, the physical therapist is the one who really thought that maybe she has another infection so after our usual, I took Mom to the ER.  A few attempts at a blood test (2 veins collapsed on her) they finally were able to get the blood culture that they needed as well as the regular blood tests.  They did a urine sample but they did it a bit different this time.  It is causing her a bit of pain to because of how they did the tubing this time.  I felt so bad for her.  I really do because between the headache, neck ache, and the tummy pain, she is not happy.  The pains come and go though, they don't stay all the time.  So naturally, by the time the nurse arrived, the pain was gone.  She does have her pain patch on so I am hoping that helps.  I expect that in a couple of days she will feel better.

I woke up with a really bad headache this morning.  I had to come down and take some pain pills super early and then within a half hour I had to take some tummy medicine along with the pain medicines.  It finally went back to the normal pain by the time Mom got up in time for physical therapy.  Mom's physical therapy is on hold until she gets back from the hospital.  I hope she isn't too weak this time, she usually is, but I hope she is much better this time.  I also hope this is the last time for a long time.  We have been to the hospital between the two of us five times since end of May.  Not a good record for us.  Mostly for her.

I have some lessons this weekend.  I am not sure what time I am teaching on Sunday, but I have 1 lesson Saturday at noon.  The one good thing with Mom gone for a couple of days, is that I can get some groceries without needing to get a sitter for her.  I want to pick up a few groceries and then do a good shopping after Wednesday.

I am pretty tired now so I am go to head for bed now.  I hope everyone has a good night and a good weekend.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

It has been a terrible day so far.  I have cried so much today.  Mom had trouble coming down the stairs, she refused to which started the crying off.  Every once in a while she has trouble and I know it.  Usually I do much better at handling it.  I go back up the stairs and pretty much hold her all the way down.  Today I just cried.  She wanted to talk to someone else, several someone elses, like the manager, the other lady, the commissioner, everyone but me so that made me cry harder.  Finally, I stopped and then she was fine, like nothing happened.  She got in and out of the car fine and we went to our usual.  She didn't eat much of her donut though, which is unusual for her because she loves her donuts.  I am fine now.  I don't really know what caused the major meltdowns, I am not in any more pain than usual so who knows.  We all have our bad days, I am just glad hers isn't too bad too, that would be a nightmare.  She is in the living room right now resting.  I don't know if she is sleeping, she might be.  She was so tired yesterday.  Last night, it was kind of cute, she wouldn't go to bed when she was falling asleep at the table, just like a little kid.  We finally did go to bed around 9:30 which is normal for us.  It takes me about 20 or so minutes to get her ready and then we sit on her bed for a few minutes.  I tell her I am going to move her, when I do she gets a bit upset like she does every night.  If I don't move her though she moves her legs over the edge of the bed and that causes back pains for her, so that is why I move her to the middle of the bed.  She doesn't like being moved into bed or out of bed, but I know that and it doesn't bother me one bit she says, oh, oh, oh.  I just move her like I need to and that is that.

Things should improve by 4 pm because I have 1 lesson today.  Mom is getting her bath today too.  I can't wait until next week when Angela comes back.  This new one is nice, but she doesn't do a very good job with Mom's hair.  I don't even think she did anything to it on Monday.  We use some no rinse stuff that is much better for Mom because she doesn't like being cold when I wash her hair in the sink.  We got it from the hospital and it works really well.  I like it a lot.  I plan to use it with her for a very long time because it does work so well for her.  The trick is you have to wipe her hair with a wet wash cloth to get the dirt and oil out of her hair and I don't think the new girl does that very well.  I also don't think she dampens Mom's hair enough to get a good foam for it.  But I am not too worried, because Angela does a great job and she will be back on Monday from her Honeymoon.

Other than the lesson and Mom's bath (which will happen right near each other) there isn't anything going on in the house.  I may go out for a quick trip to the store to get some milk and bread with Mom, depending on how tired she is.  We don't need much, but there is no milk in the house or bread and with the trouble she had today, a home breakfast might have been the best way to go.  I had no choice but to take her to our usual because we had no food in the house for me to eat breakfast.  I don't like cereal with ensure, it upsets my stomach.

It is going to thunderstorm soon, I can already hear the thunder.  I guess that fits my mood.  I am very worn out from the meltdowns this late morning/early afternoon.  It all happened around 12 noon.  I am going to join Mom in the living room for a nap, I hope I feel much better when I wake up.  Right now, I am exhausted from crying so hard.  I guess sometimes you just need a good cry and I haven't had one in a long while, not since Mom was in the nursing home in June.

I hope this finds you doing much better than me.  Have a great day!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I have been stressing for about a month now about fitting in a hair cut for Mom.  She, I thought, just needed a trim.  Well, I asked her today if she wanted to get her hair trimmed.  She said no.  All this time I have been worrying for nothing.  She doesn't want her hair cut.  Okay, no haircut for Mom.  Sigh.  Sigh.  It would have saved me a lot of worrying and stressing if I asked her in the first place, but I didn't.  Sigh.  What can I possibly say to this new revelation?  Mom doesn't want her hair cut.  Okay, so now that worry is over, on to others?

I don't have any right now except that she is sleeping a lot more than she used to.  I did expect it, but when it happens it kind of slips right past you at first.  She also had physical therapy.  The therapist asked to talk to me.  If Mom doesn't show an improvement in Fridays session then that will be it.  Quite frankly, the fact she can do any is great for me.  What do they want?  What type of improvements do they want?  She has Alzheimer's for goodness sake!  She is in stage 6, slowly slipping into stage 7.  I mean, really, what can you possibly expect from her.  I would say that fact she can follow any direction at this stage is a good thing.  Really, an improvement?  She forgets what she is doing in the middle of doing it now, that is normal.  I have to remind her to continue down the stairs at times or up the stairs.  It isn't that she can't do it, because she can, it is just she forgets what she is doing about midway.  That is a normal thing for her.  That is why every step I remind her "one foot up".  That is how we say going up the stairs.  To tell her to go up the stairs is pointless because she doesn't know what that means.  However, she does know how to move one foot up at a time so that is what I use.  I tell people to talk to her with short commands, she can follow short ones.  She did great when she had to get a CT scan and X-rays at the hospital.  The technicians did exactly what I asked and they were able to get her to do what they wanted.  I just don't know what some others want from her.  She can't improve too much, she is too far gone for that.  I need her to keep the little muscle she has left going.  If the physical therapist does end the sessions, that is actually going to be okay because I bought ankle weights for Mom and we will do them together.  My complaint is trying to understand what type of improvement she is looking for with Mom.  I don't understand that.  I know she is going downhill.  I see it daily.  I know she doesn't have much time left but let's make what time she has fun for her as best as possible.

Anyways, that is the rant of the day, I am over it now.

On a good note, Mom got some new Curious George books, Corduroy books, and Clifford the Red Dog books from our friend, Donna.  Mom loved them.  She has flipped through them a couple of times since we just got them.  I am going to fix her son's jeans for her.  They have a hole in the butt and need a patch of some sort.  I may have to get an iron on patch because I don't know if my machine will be able to go through the old iron on material.  We shall see.  I haven't really looked at them too much yet.  I will tonight or tomorrow.  I am kind of tired right now so I might take a nap too.  I hope that is what Mom is doing.

Nothing too exciting over here this afternoon.  I don't have any lessons, but I do think I will change the tablecloth to the fall one.  I just have to move 2 piles of bills and stuff and my computer to put the new one on.  We got 2 of them the other day.  I also have one for Halloween.  I hope to see my big brother, Richard by then.  I miss him a lot and I know Mom does.  Although since she has talked to him on the phone, she has only asked for him once, so my theory worked.  If she talks to him, she doesn't miss him as much.  The fixation she has disappears!  He may call again this week if he can fit it into his schedule with everything he has to do and the time difference.  That is the biggest challenge, is the time difference between here and Seattle.  I wonder how the kids are doing with school?  hm, I think I will drop them an email and see.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

We were supposed to have an association meeting tonight, but apparently, there wasn't because no one mentioned it to the lady's whose house it was going to be at.  Oh well, I don't mind.  I was having a hard time getting Mom in and out today.  She is just tired, that's all, nothing wrong, just a bit tired.  She gets more tired easier than before, which is to be expected as the disease progresses.  She is fine now.  Looking cute in her little hoodie with the fleece jacket on top.  Her friend stopped by and I thought he was going to cut her hair, but he didn't stay very long, so I will be taking Mom to get her hair cut.  We actually had the time this afternoon had I known, but it isn't that much of a big deal.  Another time will present itself.

The social worker came today from the Home Health Care Company.  She wasn't that helpful.  She did give me the names of 2 people that may be able to help me, but overall, she got the same info I did when I did it myself.

The hospital bed is still here.  I am getting rather annoyed.  I will be calling them again tomorrow.  I want it gone by the weekend.  It really is in the way as it moves the princess table in the middle of the floor.  Now fortunately, all my students navigate around it well, but still, to me, it is the way.  I definitely need it gone by Christmas because I need the area for the Christmas Tree.  We haven't really had a good tree for the last few years and I want Mom to have a nice Christmas this year.  It could be the last one she remembers, well, sort of remembers, how about enjoys, that works.  It could be the last one she could enjoy.  Right now, the disease seems to be at a standstill, which is great, I hope it stays for a while.  Last year, between Thanksgiving and February, she went downhill fast.  It seems that her disease takes giant steps down, she stays at one level for a long, long time, and then giant step down, and repeat.  I want her to stay her for a long while because the next stage is stage 7 and that is the end stage.  I don't want to see that stage for an extremely long time.

Today has been a good day for us.  The only glitch was that I thought Mom had an appointment with Dr. Gradolph and as it turned out, they cancelled the appointment because he wants her to try the pain patch first and then see him in a few weeks.  So we sat there for a few minutes before we found that out so all in all, we didn't wait too long before I found out.  We went to our usual after that and low and behold, Rosemary arrived shortly after!  So how cool is that?  Pretty cool, if you ask me.  So we sat and visited with her while we ate our brunch.  We haven't seen much of her this summer because her uncle, who she takes care of, has been rather ill.  He is 90 and is not doing too well.  It is very sad and I know she is sad about it.  He lives in assisted living and she is with him quite a bit.  She also belongs to a garden club and a doll club as she collects dolls.  I have a few dolls (collectible types, not antique) to donate to her for the doll club raffle.  I just have to pull them out and then give them to her.  I am not sure exactly where the dolls are right now, but I know they are not far.

After our usual, we headed to Walmart to fill Mom's prescription.  We were going to go and pick up some milk, but as we got to the clothes department, I noticed she was getting a bit tired.  We turned around and headed back to the pharmacy department.  As soon as we got into the department, the phone rang and her prescription was filled so we picked it up and headed home.  When we got home we took naps.  I was tired and I knew she was.  I put her new pain patch on her shoulder that is bothering her and went and sat in my chair.  I love that chair.  It is the only one I can sit on with my feet up that doesn't bother my legs or hips.  You can see why I love that chair plus it is so comfy.

I had one lesson after the social worker left.  Charlie is doing really well for his lessons.  He has been practicing which is good.  We also laugh a lot during his lesson.  At the conclusion of his lesson I put Mom in her fleece jacket to head for the association meeting.  I just got Mom in the car when Irv (Rosemary's husband - really nice guy) pulled up to tell me there was no meeting.  So I got Mom back out of the car and we went back into the house.  I asked her if she wanted some ice cream and she said no, so back in we went.

We are now watching HGTV

It is, once again, a beautiful day out and I am loving this weather!  I hope this finds you doing well.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Don't forget about the online magazine from national!!!

also 102 days until Christmas!!!!!!  :) :) :) :) 
You wouldn't believe the weather we are having!  It is spectacular!  I mean, totally awesome.  I have the dining room drapes open, the front door open, and we just got back from Timmy's and Walmart.  Even Mom wasn't cold or too hot!  Talk about a shocker!  It is simply gorgeous out and I hope it stays this way all month.  I need weather I can breathe in and this is it.

Yesterday, I really had a hankering for some Chinese food after a friend of mine mentioned on face book he was getting some.  Well, I should have picked something else.  I had a tummy ache for the rest of the night from it!  I was having second thoughts about it because Mom was sleeping upstairs and I really didn't want to have to get her back down and into the car, but I did.  Should have passed on it.  I tried something I haven't had in years and now I know why I don't eat that particular entree.  Will have something else next time because I love Chinese food.  We used to go out to eat about once a week until this summer when Mom really stopped eating a lot of food.  I mean, a chicken breast (and only the chicken breast) is getting to big for her and it is only 3 oz cooked.  I don't take her out to eat much because she doesn't eat enough and I end up eating it (which makes me gain the weight) or throw it away.  I miss her being able to enjoy food more.  But overall, it is to be expected with this disease and I am thankful she can still enjoy her donut and milk at Timmy's in the noon time.  She actually wanted some of the chili I got today.  I usually get bagels, but today sounded like a chili and sandwich day, so that is what I did.  She wanted some so I gave her a few spoonfuls and then she was happy.  I mean, it was weird, she really wanted some chili and was starting to get upset because she didn't have any.  I asked her if she wanted to share mine and her answer was, I thought I was getting some too.  So I shared.  I knew getting her own would have been pointless because after about 4 spoonfuls she was done and then we would have practically an entire bowl of chili to take home.

I got the adorable ones, Calli and Acer, some Timbits today.  I was going to get them on Thursday, but we need to rearrange our timings on the visiting day because of what time the kids get home from school and the fact that Heather B-T must pick up Acer from school.  I hope they like the kinds I picked.  They aren't picky eaters which is nice.

Our neighbor stopped me this afternoon.  He had received a phone call from another neighbor concerning us.  Usually, we get complaints about something from this neighbor, but it wasn't.  She wanted to be able to get a hold of me about some books she has.  Well, I thought, wow, no complaints?  Hey, I will talk to her about books.  So she may call me.  We shall see.  I didn't know she is an avid reader like I am and she now knows the situation with the little Mom so maybe she will stop being so hard on us about the yard.  I know it isn't the greatest, but the lawn is cut regularly and trimmed nicely.  Yes, we have a totally empty space in front of the house from where the bushes were, but Andrew moved before he fixed it up.  I don't have the money or energy to deal with it.  I didn't inherit the green thumb that Mom, Andrew, and Richard all have.  Mine is black.  I can kill a plant just by looking at it.  I have tried gardening, and well, I grow weeds very well.  Of course, that is what is in the gardens in the back yard, all weeds, but nobody but us can really see them, so no complaints.  I think we have 1 bush left of the carpet roses that Mom put in 9 years ago for my graduation party.  Anyways, I have 2 choices, I can either work on the yard or take care of mom, and we all know who wins in that competition, Mom.  Got to take care of the little lady, even when she says, i don't know who you are and I am not going with you.  She said that this morning when we arrived at Timmy's.  Fortunately, I knew it wouldn't last and it didn't and she finally got out of the car for us to go in.  I think perhaps it is time to have some milk and bread in the house regularly for moments like this when she won't get in the car or out of the car in this case.  Right now, we don't have any milk or bread in the house because they usually go bad before we finish them.  Hm, we shall see how the rest of the week goes.  We can get some really good bread from Panera's.  They have such yummy stuff!  i also want a bread maker to make my own bread.

Well, this turned out to be rather long.  Bob should be here in a few minutes for his lesson.  I hope your day is good too.  Ours is so far.  Oh yes, I almost forgot.  We got the septic tank cleaned.  3 years until the next cleaning!  That means I take good care of the tank!  Yeah!  I learned from Mom!  Have a great afternoon and evening!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Richard called back to talk to Mom.  He is my older brother who lives very far away.  He is the only one of us three who has children too, William and Abigail.  He is married to Jennifer.  The best part?  Mom hasn't asked for him since she spoke to him on the phone.  I talked to him a bit after Mom did and he was shocked at how out of it she sounded.  Well, that is her now.  I don't know if that will encourage him to come and see her sooner or frighten him into not coming.  Hard to say.

It has been a pretty good day today.  Mom's friend, Jose, came up to Tim Horton's while we were there and stayed and visited with Mom for a bit.  He is very nice.  We had some errands to run but Mom was getting really tired so he said he would take Mom home and watch her for me.  Wasn't that nice?  I leaped at the chance of having some alone time to run errands.  I had to go to my friend's house to pick up some stuff and then to Sam's Club to pick up some Ensure for Mom.  She was practically out of the Ensure.  I think we opened the last bottle this morning.  She is upstairs sleeping right now.  I checked on her a bit ago and she was asleep.  She sure says some funny things today, had me laughing.

Pain level is pretty okay today too, not too high.  My head is a bit high right now, but only a tiny bit.  I think I need to eat dinner and then it would be fine.  I am thinking maybe some Chinese.  We haven't had any in a long time.  I will get the dinner and share with Mom as she won't eat a full dinner anymore.  If Mom is still asleep then I will wake her up because it is getting late and I don't want her not to sleep tonight.  That would not be good for the little lady.

It is really beautiful out today, the sun is shining and the sky has white puffs of clouds.  It is just simply gorgeous.  The one thing I have noticed about this disease, is that I have slowed down, like so many have.  I have the time to look at the area around me and notice when it is beautiful out and when it isn't.  I have a great view of lots of trees when the dining room drapes are open.  My neighbor has so many trees in there backyard.  (We are a corner lot so I look into their backyard from our house)  We have a hedge of bushes that are so tall it is unbelievable.  They should be cut down, but I can't do it and neither can Mom.  I am not worried about them.  They aren't big enough to be in the electrical wires yet.  The neighbor's trees are in the wires, and that does worry me because it can cause a fire.  Overall, I have a very pretty view that a few years ago I might not have noticed as much.

Definitely a better day today than yesterday and most of the week too.  I am happy today again.  Life is good, not the one I planned, but a decent life nonetheless.  The leaves are starting to change color in my back yard already.  Wow, fall really is here!  yeah for that!  Soon will be Christmas, my favorite holiday.  I do hope we are in Seattle for it with my older brother, Richard and his family, but I don't know for sure.  We shall see.

I hope this finds you doing well and having a beautiful day too.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Here we go again, I accidentally erased the post.  I didn't mean too, but I did and of course, right after I did that, it automatically saved.

We had book club today!  At first I was afraid we wouldn't but Maggie was just late, which was fine.  We talked about so many things.  It was wonderful!  I really enjoy book club a lot.  It is fun once a month getting together and chatting.  I gave her the scoop on Debbie, Katie, and Aggie, as the three of them no longer can join us.  I miss them, but since, outside of Debbie, I see them, I don't mind too much.

One thing that has been getting to me is Mom asking for Richard.  She asks for him a lot, and I mean, a lot.  When I can't produce Richard, she cries.  When I tell her he is in Seattle, she cries.  It is really starting to upset me.  I can't help that I am not Richard.  I do the best that I can do by her and at times it doesn't seem to matter to her because I am not Richard and that upsets me.  Sometimes I make sarcastic comments to her like sorry I am not good enough which make her cry but usually I just ignore it.  It is getting harder to ignore that.  I was telling Maggie about it because Mom started to cry after she asked where Richard was this afternoon.  I called Richard and asked him to call me back to talk to Mom.  She can still talk a bit on the phone and I think if she hears his voice maybe she won't be so upset all the time.  She spoke to Andrew on the phone on Monday and she really enjoyed it.  I don't know what she remembers, what she doesn't about the phone call, but I do know she calmed down asking about him.  I am hoping the same thing happens when she talks to Richard.

Anyways, I hope he calls me back this evening.  Mom will really like talking to him and I am hoping she will stop asking me where he is because it is really bothering me.  Maggie said when she comes back from vacation she and I will go and have a chat about it.  She has some ideas.  Maggie is a great help with things like that.  I will have Carolyn come and sit with Mom while we go out.

I have read great posts about 9/11 and where people were when it happened.  All I can say is I will never forget what happened nor will I ever not be thankful and grateful to the people who serve our country in the Armed Services.  Thanks to them, we are free.  So if you or a family member serve, I thank you everyday, not just today.

Friday, September 10, 2010

It's Friday!   I don't know why that would excite me except it brings me 1 day closer to Book Club!!!  I just love book club.  Even thought it will be just Maggie and me, I haven't seen her since July and boy do I want to hear about the rest of her summer.  I am so glad summer is over.  We are doing alright now and I aim to have us stay that way!

My project of the season is going to be Mom's room.  I am going to have the room redone in some ways.  I am not going to do crazy redecorating, just some simple things that Mom will like (I think).  Now that she doesn't know what is hers and what isn't, it is finally safe to declutter her room.  One of the effects of Alzheimer's is hoarding and Mom is a pack rat to begin with, it isn't quite like the people on the hoarding shows, but it is still rather dangerous for the little person.  I want to put the bed frame in the garage for now because someday, it will go back in her room, when she is no longer mobile.  then I will put the bed back together.  It is a high bed and it will be easier to change her with a high bed so I don't want to sell her bed at all.  Not when I plan to use it again someday.  For right now though, it is in the way and I manage to step on the railings quite frequently when helping Mom in or out of bed.  Then I need to go to the storage unit and get her Mickey Mouse snow globe out.  I hope I didn't ruin it by putting it in storage.  I thought we were moving, but it turns out we weren't.  I plan to do that this weekend, I think.  I just have to find the right box it is in.  I am not sure which box it is in, and I also want to get the other snow globe (Beauty and the Beast) out too.  I do hope they are in good condition.  I would like to have her room painted pink.  She likes that color and with the white curtains, I think pink would look nice.  The boxes at the end of her bed will be removed and those clothes will go in the empty drawers and closet.  It would be nice to be able to get into her closet.  Right now, I have to move a couple of boxes in order to open her closet door and you can only open the right door because there is a big box in front of the left door.  Anyways, by Christmas, I want her room looking spiffy.  I want it to be a haven when she goes in to bed and very calming for her.  She needs calming things around her at all times because I can only imagine having Alzheimer's is NOT calming.

The winter project is my room.  I am not repainting it as I like the color of the walls.  I don't necessarily like the curtains, but I will price some to see if I can afford 2 pairs as I have 2 windows in my room.  I want them lined though because my room does get quite cold.  It is the coldest room of the upstairs, which is great for sleeping, but not for anything else.  I want to get my pictures and stuff back from storage and put them back out on my dresser again.  I also want to hang up some pictures on the walls.  I need my stuffed animal collection back out on my chest of drawers.  I want my books back in the bookcase and then my Anne of Green Gables Figurines on my dresser.  I want my room to be my haven when I go to bed instead of the empty room with piles it is right now.  I don't know what to do with some of the stuff I have, I am going to get rid of some, but not all.  I just have to decide what I really want.  I will move the rest of the Winnie the Pooh beanie babies down to the piano because that is where most of them are right now, so the collection needs to be complete.

I hope to pace myself very carefully so that I can do these projects.  I will probably need some help as I can't really lift anything that is over about 5 pounds because of the rods in my back.  I figure in the next week or two I will make a list for Mom's room and then divide and conquer!  I really want a nice looking room for her.  It has been cluttered up for too long and she has some nice pieces that are hidden.  I may move some of her paintings from other rooms into her room.  I don't know, we shall see.

My knee seems to be improving a bit.  It isn't quite back to normal yet, but I am hopeful it will soon.  I hope the knee flare up goes away soon.  Several people I know are in flare ups right now, there must be something in the weather.   Ugh, hope they all feel better soon.

I hope this finds you doing well.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

We ran into Lily and her mom, Julie at Tim Horton's this afternoon.  I saw Lily enter and I thought, I must be seeing things as she is supposed to be in school.  Unfortunately, she hurt her foot and had to go to the doctors.  It was so nice to talk to them.  I haven't seen them much this summer.  We both have been busy, but mostly they have been very busy.

I am waiting for the lady to come and give Mom a bath.  She should be here any minute now.  It has been a week since she has had a good one and I want her hair washed.  It should be okay to do today because it has been over a week since she fell so I want it done well today.  It has been rather confusing getting the home aide here because our usual one is on vacation for 2 weeks.  It should be all taken care of now, I hope.  I can't wait until Angela is back and we are back on schedule.

Not much happening today because I have no lessons and we aren't visiting because of the bath and the new schedule for the young children at the B-T's house.  With the start of a new school year comes many changes to schedules as most of you know.  I am not sure what time we will be visiting, but we will get it in somewhere because I really do enjoy it and so does Mom.

I had my boring blood test again.  I missed the appointment two weeks ago and before the office calls me to tell me I forgot, I thought I better make an appointment.  The nurse found the vein right away and it went fine for a change.  My veins are very hard to find at times and they don't always behave nicely for nurses.  I can clear a room of nurses just by signing my name.

Pain level is normal for me.  It is beautiful outside, not to hot, not to cold, just perfect.  Mom is chatting away right now.  It is really cute to see her do this.  I wish that she would do this when certain people are around, but she clams up around them because they make her nervous so she doesn't speak.  Maybe I should video this.  Hm, I will think about that.

I hope this finds you doing well and having a good day.  We have had a great one so far!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

don't forget about the online magazine from the National Fibromyalgia Association!!!!

It is a great resource and the website is really good too.
Once again it is beautiful weather outside.  I am really loving this so far this fall.  I know fall doesn't officially start for another few weeks, but hey, kids are in school so to me it is fall.

It isn't too bad of a pain day for a nice change.  The head is its normal pain level (I have a headache everyday and have had one for 6 years straight now) so I am thrilled and my knee seems to be behaving.  It isn't back to normal, but it is getting there.

Mom did wonderful at physical therapy today.  Lori came earlier than usual, but that was alright and fit great into our schedule.  She called and by the time she got here, Mom was dressed and brushing her teeth. (She is back to doing them on her own again)  I brought her downstairs, gave her her medicines, and then put her shoes on her.  After that, Lori took over and I went to get dressed.  I was so pleased that Mom did well even without me cheering her on like I usually do.  I am trying not to interfere with Lori's work, but sometimes I can get Mom to do better by cheering her on.  Lori now cheers her own the same way I do and that seems to help quite a bit.  I will miss the physical therapy when it is over next month.  I bought ankle weights that mom and I will use to give us both strength.  I just pray she doesn't go into the hospital again.

Tomorrow Mom gets her bath.  It won't be done by Angela because she is on vacation (honeymoon! how cool is that?!) but by a new worker for us.  She wanted to come at 8 to 8:30 am.  Now, we all now I am NOT a morning person, but Mom isn't either.  So I had to tell her that wouldn't work.  She said that she has 2 people in our area, Mom and another lady, but still, I am NOT getting Mom up any earlier than I usually do because she would be exhausted all day long and that would NOT be good.  So we compromised and said about 10 to 10:30 am.  I can do that.  No way I can do the other, absolutely not happening.  I like that Angela always came around 12:30 to 1:00 pm, but we can use this new time to our advantage as I will wake Mom right as soon as she arrives.  She can get ready and I will get Mom and then she will have her bath and be all ready for the day, so it will work out for us.  Mom usually sleeps until 10 to 10:30 am anyways.  I know because I check in on her.

I took a wee nap today and had some strange dreams.  Sometimes dreams are really weird when I take naps.  I wonder why?  Hm, something to ponder in the future.

Bob had his lesson and he is learning his songs quite well.  He is playing his first piano invention by J. S. Bach.  He is putting his hands together for the first time on the new part and it was really good, slow, but good.  My saying always is, if you can't play it slow, you can't play it fast.  Of course, a problem is once you learn it fast, you really can't always play it slow.  But when learning, you need to play the song slowly and then speed up as you practice more.  That has always worked for me and my students.

Acer, Calli, and Charlie all had lessons yesterday.  It was quite a busy afternoon for a bit.  I loved every minute of it.  Acer showed me his new jazz piece he composed.  He composes often and I wouldn't be surprise that when he is older he will be a composer.  Calli is doing super well on her jazz piece.  I simply love the song she is playing and the next song she will play is also a cool jazz piece.  She will be starting to sing in the next week or two too so that will be fun.  I have some of the books out now and I need to copy some songs for her and put the piano parts on a CD for her to practice.  Katie wants to have a chat with her on the virtues of going to competition and singing in the ensemble as we are one short for an ensemble this year and with Calli we would have enough.  I don't know if that will happen, but Katie is a determined teenager and I think she will just love Calli.  I also know that Acer could participate in the ensemble if he chose too.  It is entirely up to them, I will not make anyone do anything but I do understand how much Katie loves singing in an ensemble and I have some cute music for one.  Katie is a character for sure.  Charlie is also doing pretty well with his lessons.  He got a couple of exercises marked off because he sight read them perfect.  I actually expected this, but he didn't know that.  The book reviews a bit from the previous book so that is why I expected it.  Charlie also plays the drums which thrills Acer.  I told Acer that Charlie played the tenor drums in marching band, but I wasn't sure if he played the 5 (apparently it is 6) or 1 drum in the band.  We waited for Charlie for the answer.  Charlie thought it was really cool that Acer is very interested in drums.  He thinks he is a neat little man, which he is.

I hope you are enjoying the fall weather.  It is supposed to warm up a bit tomorrow and by the weekend, but I don't mind, it won't get too hot for me.

Also, I just received a phone call from a different worker (the one who called yesterday) and she is coming for Mom at about 4:30 tomorrow.  I had to call the office and let them know so this time is better for us because we won't have to wake up earlier than usual.  I hope they get this straightened out.  I missed the phone call yesterday by about 5 minutes and they were worried they wouldn't get a hold of me.  So, the bottom line is, the timing for the other woman is much better than the first so we are going with the second lady (who in fact was the first to call me).  As long as Mom gets a bath, that is all that matters to me.

Enjoy your day and have a great evening!!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

It is really beautiful out right now.  I mean, simply gorgeous!  I am really liking the nice cool weather we are having.  Mom is taking her usual nap in the living room.  I am waiting for phone calls for lesson times.  It has been a busy couple of days for us.  First we went to my Uncle's yesterday and that was a lot of fun.  Andrew couldn't be there because he was studying (as a good student should) so he called just to talk to Mom.  That was great because Mom really liked that.  We will hopefully see him a few weeks when we go back.  Tillie wasn't there either as she was working on her house, but that really was a good thing, as my cousin, her granddaughter, went into labor while we were at my uncle's!  Yup, little Esther Ruth decided to come a bit early (3 days I think) and so I have a new cousin in the world.  I am excited about that.  I can't wait to see her in a few weeks when we go over.  Another cousin.  I have so many.  Speaking of cousins, Maia is now a grandmother for the 2nd time!  Hard to believe, but true.  I did get to see Elizabeth (Danielle's daughter) briefly yesterday.  She is a little doll.

We got home rather late because we needed to take Maia to her place to drop off her stuff and then drop her and Danielle off at the hospital to see Lia.  Mom was really tired, but she went up the stairs all right, a little slower than usual, but she did great on them.  She sometimes forgets that our rooms are upstairs so I have to remind her and then she is like, oh, okay, let's go then.  I expected a bit of a rough time for her because we were out so late and the car ride was longer than normal, but she did fine.  I got her up, changed, and in bed in no time.  Now for me, well, I was really sore last night after I put her to bed for some reason, I mean sorer than usual.  My hips and lower back were just screaming with pain.  Finally, about 2 hours or so later, I fell asleep.  I woke up at the usual time though, so that was a nice surprise and i am not really extra tired right now like I would have thought.

We have a quiet week with a few lessons that I am looking forward too.  I also want to go to Joann's to get a nice fall table cloth.  I love the spring one we have had one since March, but now it is fall and I need one to reflect the season.  Mom loves picking them out with me.  I couldn't decide between two of them for spring, so she made the final decision.  She made a good choice.

This weekend I was honored to receive an award for my blog by a fellow blogger named Missy Schantz.  She is a fibro girl like so many of us.  I was very happy and thrilled to know that she likes reading my blog.  A writer likes knowing that she is read and liked or at least I do!!!  Anyways, she gave me the cutest award picture that I have absolutely no idea how to post on my blog so I am going to try to post the award in this post.  Here is my try:

It worked!!! Yeah!  I will try to post it on my blog and we shall see if it works.  Isn't this a really cute picture of an award??  I thank Missy for it.  Her blog is also very interesting.  If you get a chance, go under my followers and find Missy and then click on it and then you will get to a page where you can read her blog.

I hope everyone is having a great day like we are.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Had a great day at my Uncle's!  One little incident.  I discovered Mom does not do well with liquid Tylenol.  Yeah, it makes her literally sick to her tummy!  Thank God for Michelle who helped as I was a little green myself during the incident.  Not my best moment as a caretaker.  I will be giving Michelle all the Liquid Tylenol for her little guy, the adorable Jayson.

I will post more on this tomorrow as it is so time for bed for the little Mom and me!  Have a wonderful night!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I have 1 lesson this morning. I am excited about it because I haven't seen my Katie since June and I miss her. She should be her shortly. I can't remember exactly what we were working on, but I will find out soon! When she arrives. She is also going to (I think) help put music away. I am not sure. At this point, if it gets done, fine, if not, fine too. It doesn't bother me as much as the hospital bed in the living room does.

Mom is getting stronger with the physical therapy. I bought her ankle weights to use after physical therapy is over. She and I will be doing exercise together. I think she will like that as she always used to like exercising. She is doing much better with the cooler weather than the heat.

Katie had her lesson and surprise! I have 2 more lessons this evening. Rachel and Becca will be starting up again today. What a nice surprise! I haven't seen them since competition in February.

Katie also filed ALL the music in the living room. Yup, except for the stuff I pulled, it has been put away. I am very excited about this. I can use both benches in the living room right now! Not that I can play 2 pianos at the same time, but if I have a student who wants to, I certainly can! How exciting is that? Very in my book.

Mom is taking a wee nap. After Katie finished the filing we went to Tim Horton's for a treat for her then Mom and I headed to Walmart to pick up a few items like her medicine. I also got 4 notebooks for $.15 each! Since I thought I had bought them last week only to discover I bought graph notebooks, I needed them. I also picked up a packet of 10 pens and a magazine to read later. All in all, a good day for us.

Tomorrow we are going to my uncle's for the day. Maia is coming with us. Should be fun, I think. Tuesday I have to make an early phone call to see what I can do about this bill that I totally forgot about and it does mean disaster for me financially. Bad move on my part, I am so angry at myself for forgetting. This mess that I am in is totally my fault, but I am hoping I will be able to take care of it and now with the notebook of bills, I won't forget again. They don't send a monthly statement and that is partly why I forget. The other part is just plain forgetfulness and not being very responsible. I hope it is easy to work out because otherwise I don't know what we will do. i can't pay the entire bill right now, I just don't have the money.

I have had a bad headache for a couple of days because of the financial mistake I made and the hot weather earlier in the week. I hope by tomorrow it is gone because I don't want to have a bad headache and go to my uncle's, it just isn't fun for me then.

I love this cool weather we are getting! The sun is shining beautifully! I hope you are having a good day too!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

It is so beautiful out. It is nice and cool. So cool, in fact, I had to change into sweats because it is too cold for shorts! Ahhhh, my kind of weather. Mom has 2 little jackets on to keep warm, 1 hoodie, and 1 fleece. She looks so cute all bundled up like that. Someday I will be able to post a picture of it just as soon as I find that cord! Yup, still looking!

I finished updating the piano catalogue. I need to update the voice one but that music is out so I can't right now. I now have 761 piano pieces (including books and individual sheet music) for my students to choose from. I hope to not have to buy anything new this year. I really do. My file cabinets are getting full and there is no room for a new cabinet, none whatsoever. I even remember to list the songs on the books that aren't piano courses or lesson books. This way, when I search by song, it will pop up to be found. Katie is coming to help put away all the music that is sitting out. It definitely needs it. I am keeping all the Christmas stuff out though because we will be starting that soon. There is music all over the living room, in the family room, and in the office that need to be put away. I hope she has time tomorrow after her lesson. I really do because I would love for this stuff to be put back where it belongs!

Not to exciting of a day, we had physical therapy for Mom and she did awesome! I mean, it was really good how she concentrated on her exercises. She did a fantastic job. Aggie had her lesson and then we went to the usual for an afternoon snack. Mom is napping in the living room right now. A little later than usual, but that is okay because she won't be sleeping much longer. She usually does about 2 hours a day for a nap. I try to have her nap from about 2 to 4, but today we didn't get home until after 3 so that is why she is still sleeping.

My arm is a bit sore from all that typing so I will end this now. I was able to talk to the big brother, Richard, and wish him a happy birthday! He is 46 years old today. Mom and I both got to wish him a happy birthday in our brief conversation because they were getting ready to go out and about doing stuff and errands. I sure miss that family. I know Mom does too. I can't wait until he comes! Should be soon!

Anyways, I still have a bit of a bad headache and my knee is a bit better today, at least right now it is. I am hoping it stays this way. I hope this finds you doing well and having a great day!

Friday, September 3, 2010

We are waiting for Robin to call so we can meet for lunch. She is getting her hair done and I am getting really hungry. I mean, really hungry, as I haven't eaten at all today. That would be because I did just get up, but seriously, I am getting Olga's Restaurant hungry. I hope that is where we are going today. Mom is coming too. Robin has a railing for a bed for Mom that I hope will help her not fall out. Now, she hasn't fallen out yet, but I like to do preventative measures instead of after the incident ever since she wandered out of the house last year, 3 times. Now she is blocked in upstairs and has no where to go. She can wander away all she wants up those stairs at night and before I wake up. She usually just lays there until I come into her room. Then we get up and get her dressed. I am almost always dressed before I get her ready. It makes it much easier to do when I am already dressed.

We have a quiet weekend ahead of us. Katie will be here Sunday afternoon for her lesson and to help put music away. I will be labeling the new music I received probably this evening and Saturday while the TV is on entertaining Mom. We have a new movie we need to watch too, as well as finish up the Season 8 of Walker, Texas Ranger. We have enough for entertainment while I do a bit of work this weekend. I don't know what lessons I will have this Monday as it is labor day. I will be home, but I don't know what the plans are for my students. I shall find out soon, I expect.

The hospital bed is still in the living room. I have called again to have them come and get it. They still haven't. I wonder if they are even going to. It takes up a lot of the space in the living room that can be used for other things, like a sofa and the table chairs for the little ones. That helps with the siblings entertainment during lessons that is really important because we need quiet siblings during the lessons! I hope they take it this weekend. It is bothering me having it here. It needs to go, completely go.

Mom is a bit chatty today, it is kind of cute. She gets this way sometimes especially when I am on the phone or the computer. She has been so quiet at times that a chatty mom is a nice change.

Robin was getting a perm to her hair, that's what was taking so long. We are back from meeting with her. She loaned me a bed rail. It looks like it will do the trick for Mom. We shall see. Mom is sleeping in the living room. Evelyn, the nurse, is on her way to see Mom for her weekly check up. She comes once a week now, instead of 2 times a week. I haven't told her about the fall yet, but I will and I have the discharge papers in case she needs them. It was a fun lunch with Robin. I love Panera. I wanted to go to Olga's until Robin said how about Panera? Well, that changed my mind and boy was it good.

Just relaxing the rest of the night. It is so beautiful out. My head is almost its normal headache. Loving this weather though, simply loving it! I hope you are having a good day too.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I went to the cardiologist this afternoon. I do not have a heart problem. His opinion is that the stress test was normal and since everything else was normal, the pain was not from the heart. Since I found out that fibromyalgia can imitate heart pains, I think that is what it was.

Mom got up rather late today. I let her sleep in because she was so tired. She got up a few minutes before Angela arrived. It worked out quite well. Mom got her hair washed too and the blood is now out of her hair from the fall. She seems to have recovered nicely from it. She isn't really sore in too many places and she went up and down the stairs just fine. No major problems with that! She went with me to the doctors as usual. It was a long wait for a few minute visit. I hate waiting for doctors, but what else can we do? While we were at the doctors office there was a storm, but fortunately we didn't have any damage.

Saturday is Richard's birthday. He will be 46 years old. He is 3 1/2 years older than me and 4 1/2 years older than Andrew. I wonder what he will be doing on his birthday? I plan to call him and hope I get a chance to talk a long while with him.

Mom is slightly grumpish right now. Not really grumpy, grumpy, just a little off. She got mad when I told her that her prescription was in and we would pick it up tomorrow. She actually got mad at that. Now she is fine again since I told her it was going to rain. Hard to tell with her what is going on, sometimes it is exhausting figuring her out.

Her favorite game is playing with paper so I try to make sure she has paper to play with. She loves envelopes too so when I don't need an envelope, I just pass it along. Sometimes she is amusing too. She wants to hit the road now. I asked her where she wanted to go and she doesn't know. Alzheimer's, what an interesting, crazy disease.

Not much going on tonight. We may meet up with Robin tomorrow, that will be fun. Since the physical therapist came today, she will be here on Saturday. I think her schedule is busier than mine at times.

I have a bad headache today. I can thank the humid weather for that. I hope it goes away soon. Tomorrow is supposed be a better weather type day because I really am tired of bad headaches because of the weather. I hope you are doing better.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Mom is home. She did not get a MRI done because the neurologist didn't want to do one. She didn't see the same thing in the CT scan results as the emergency doctor. Yes, there is some shrinkage, which is normal for Alzheimer's. Right now she is in the living room sleeping even though I don't really like her sleeping this late in the day. However, today was not a normal day, so she can sleep away. She didn't have a nap today or yesterday so I imagine she is exhausted. I am and I had a brief nap yesterday, mind you it was at about 6:30 pm, but it was a nap, nonetheless. I am glad they decided not to do a MRI because they would really need to knock her completely out for it. She would flip. I have had one and I can't see her being able to handle it. I didn't like it one bit and I had to have 2 of them. That is definitely one experience I never want again. The main reason they didn't do one was because if she had a stroke, there is nothing they can do about it. It would be a silent stroke, not a major one where there are symptoms. Vascular Dementia is usually caused by strokes and that is what Mom has, according to the neurologist at the hospital. We both just got lucky that she didn't break anything.

I am relieved to have her home and resting. I am pretty calm over the whole thing now. Pain level has gone down a bit since the meeting with the neurologist this afternoon. I was in a lot of pain last night that I had to come down and take another pain pill just so I could try to get some sleep. I should sleep very well tonight with both of us here. I called her neurologist to let her know Mom was in the hospital again and why. Tomorrow I have to have the hospital fax over the reports to Dr. T for her records. When I go into the cardiologist tomorrow I will let Dr. G know that Mom is home and she is fine. The cardiologist is in the same office as our family doctor. Makes it easier to have the records in one place. I also found out that the tummy doctor now comes once a month to my family doctor's office too. I still just go to his office because I see his assistant and we like her a lot. I am very tired today too, just like Mom. Mom is walking about as good as I imagined. I don't know if I will get her up the stairs. If not, the hospital bed is still here and even though she hates it, she may end up sleeping on it. We will see. She is resting now so she may be okay going up tonight. Her left side is a bit sore she says. I have a prescription for liquid adult Tylenol that I am going to get filled for her. Also I have talked to the doctors office to ask for a better pain medicine for Mom rather than children's Tylenol. Maybe a patch or something like that. We shall see what they give us.

Anyways, life is back to the normal for us. We are going to lie low as Richard calls it, for the next few days. Nothing too exciting for the little Mom and I like that. I have 1 lesson tomorrow and then the cardiologist appointment so we shall see what he has to say. I still say it was just stress that caused the chest pains. I haven't had any since either so that is good.

I hope September brings you joy and happiness for the fall! I so glad the summer is almost over!