tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68363618307493463692024-03-12T21:23:03.598-07:00Life and FibromyalgiaHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.comBlogger1419125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-7112811569277617432022-12-05T22:31:00.001-08:002022-12-05T22:31:37.367-08:00 I don't want to be me today<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzT3inXrkOQp1-YWJe3VpkKFkmszRU3C0jcO0b_kuIhbk5FjRU2W5g7Y2hltR31KOND8jUHoJrP8b0187QvGahD530e8tjFFR9xKKM1Iolv4_OUMe8fAiXpsRVhlfvVigntIXdgs7he5hELWOhmcfJi6sWFekcHosHE3UNYmOu-VcamUzSLeC9oLZR/s2592/16703082557555311287598881700864.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2592" data-original-width="1944" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzT3inXrkOQp1-YWJe3VpkKFkmszRU3C0jcO0b_kuIhbk5FjRU2W5g7Y2hltR31KOND8jUHoJrP8b0187QvGahD530e8tjFFR9xKKM1Iolv4_OUMe8fAiXpsRVhlfvVigntIXdgs7he5hELWOhmcfJi6sWFekcHosHE3UNYmOu-VcamUzSLeC9oLZR/s320/16703082557555311287598881700864.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /> For the last few months I have really come to not like that I cannot do so many things myself. On Thursday, November 8, I fell out of bed. About six or so months ago we had taken my mattress and box spring off of my bed frame. The box spring is on the floor with the mattress on top. I did not fall far. I actually slid out of bed. I really don't know how I managed to do this. It took an hour to get me back in bed. I tried for about 20 minutes to get up on my own. I knew how. I couldn't do it. I didn't have the strength. Finally I had to text one of my housemates. She came right up. I think she flew. I still couldn't get up. She went and got her dad, another housemate. He ended up picking me up in two stages and then he moved my legs on my bed. I was sore when I got up later that morning, I had no idea what was about to hit me. I had gone to the Cleveland Clinic to see if I had Lipedema or Lymphedema. At that time, I was told I did not have Lymphedema. Well, the doctor was wrong. The lower part of my legs, knees to toes, blew up with fluid. My legs were weeping and they really hurt especially the right leg. I couldn't get in or out of my car or any car for that matter, by myself. I had gone to the ER to check that there was no blood clots as I have a genetic blood disorder. There weren't any. I was in the ER for about ten hours. I came home with a new walker. It is a more simple one as there is no seat. I use it in the house as I was instructed to by the ER doctor. It is actually easier to use in the house than my cane. I had to see my doctor for a follow-up visit. When I got weighed, I weighed 13 more pounds than I did two weeks before. Yup. There was 13 pounds of fluid in my legs. I couldn't wear shoes or slippers. I ended up wearing my slippers with not putting them on properly. Now I can. Yes, I am healing from the fall. The fall really showed so much of what I can't do for myself. I have been sick for more than 1/2 my life. I was 25 when the fibromyalgia showed up and never went away. I had had bad headaches since elementary school. I was born with tummy problems. On average, I missed one day a week of school since kindergarten. Fortunately, I do have good friends who understand me. These moments do not last long. I am grateful that I can do as much as I can. I am so thrilled to see my best friend, Kathy on Holidays and her family. Her mom is such an awesome person. I am making Christmas Dinner. I am quite excited about it. Another housemate is helping me. I am looking for recipes for what seasonings to use. I think we just used salt, pepper, and poultry seasoning. I am unsure. I am going to be asking my aunt Michelle. She is an amazing cook. <p></p><p><br /></p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-80843961089322761582022-08-22T19:49:00.001-07:002022-08-22T19:49:25.383-07:00The journey of grief<p> When the physical therapist told me it was time to call hospice, my heart sank. How could it be time? How could I live without my mother? I wished so much at that time I had listened when she wanted to tell me about how I was going to live without her. I had this fantasy in my head that we would both die on the same day at the same time. I had never lived anywhere but in my childhood home. After I graduated with my bachelor degree, I can't remember exactly how much time passed before the fibromyalgia showed up and never left. At the time of the flair, I taught private music lessons at a music store and at the students house. Generally, I would wake up when my mom did because she would make us breakfast, then I would go back to bed and sleep or read when I woke up in time to go and teach. I think it was about a year, maybe less when mom said resting all the time was not helping. That is when we started with light stretching. It did help. I had more mobility.</p><p>It was years though before I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. When the nurse from hospice came, I had to sign so many papers. It is crazy how many. Mom had been in a nursing home for rehab several months earlier and she came home with a pressure sore. I told the nurse about it. </p><p>Within a few weeks, mom choked her dinner down, even the mashed potatoes. Starting in the previous February, she barely ate anything I had to add Ensure drinks to her diet, specifically the protein ones. I called the emergency line and a nurse came out. She was able to clear mom's throat. The next day, October 10, 2010, it happened again only worse. The person who answered the phone said a nurse would be there as soon as they are able. The nurse was at another house and it was an emergency. The nurse arrived about 9:30 pm. She tried to clear mom' s throat but couldn't. We had to go to the ER. At the ER, the doctor tried to suction mom's throat but she kept biting down which frustrated him. The nurse kept saying, she has Alzheimer's, you have to keep saying what you are going to do. She was admitted soon after. I went home thinking I would be picking her up in the next few days. Boy was I wrong.</p><p>At 9 am I got a phone call from the doctor. Mom failed the swallowing test. I didn't quite understand. He said it again. I got it that time. He said. This is it. There is nothing we can do. I asked about a feeding tube. He said it would go into her lungs. This is it. Do you want to take her home or keep her here on the hospice floor. I picked the hospice floor. I got dressed and cried the entire way. </p><p><br /></p><p>I can't write anymore. </p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-48783975440438308702022-07-23T14:37:00.001-07:002022-07-23T14:37:25.003-07:00It's a Saturday!!!!!<p> Today is Saturday! On this particular day I do not have any lessons. Greg is absent and so is Madonna. I so love her name!! I am sitting in the living room I teach in because it has a/c. My bedroom does have a portable a/c like this room but I really don't feel like going up there right now. Peony is in here too. She is just hanging out with me. Because of the bursitis in my shoulders, I cannot hold my arms up long enough to wash and dry my own hair so I go to get it done. Usually, I get it done on Thursdays, but this week I had a doctor appointment so I needed to reschedule to today. I so love that when I do need to reschedule that the two young ladies on Saturday french braid my hair. Ruth, my usual person, does my hair a bit different and I really love that too. Overall, I really like everyone at the salon and the owner is my across the street neighbor so I am supporting a good neighbor!!!!! </p><p>It has been really hot for the last few weeks here. Today I really really just ache a lot from it. My everyday headache is more than the usual level. I am not as nauseated as I was yesterday, just the usual amount of nausea. Thank goodness starting tomorrow it will be cooler for us. I am so glad. </p><p>Last night I was sitting at the table with C. and I was finishing up my dinner when I took a drink of water that went down the wrong pipe. It happens so often now. I don't know why. Anyways, Heather BT happen to be in the kitchen/dining room area when this occurred. I told her this happens a lot when I drink water. She said to use a straw. I have since then and wow, it has really helped. She was also right at how much you drink more of because you are using a straw!! I now have chosen some reusable straws for my water bottle. It was so much easier to drink all the water I needed to last night. Generally, it is a huge struggle because of the swallowing issue. I am just really happy about this. reusable straws rule. <br /><br /></p><p>In my Michigan Lipedema group, a woman was giving away her old vibrating plate machine. I was the fourth one to say I am interested in getting it. Apparently, the first three either didn't get back to her or never came to pick it up, who knows, she messaged me to see if I was still interested, which I was and told me to come and get it. James and I went the next day. Now, I had no idea what it looked like or size or how to use it or even what it would do, I just knew that some members of the group said it really helped. We picked it up. Bill brought it in later that day and when he asked me where I wanted it, I said oh in my room would be fine, he laughed then said it won't fit in your room. I said, oh, the living room? That is where it is at. I have used it a few times. Because my standing ability at this point in time really sucks, I can't stand on it very long, we're talking at most, 1 minute. The problem that has arrose is that in about 30 or so minutes later, my daily, never ending headache gets worse. Yes. Fortunately, I say my neurologist and she knew exactly what machine I was talking about even before I showed her the picture! She said she wasn't surprised about the pain getting worse afterward. C asked about me sitting in a chair and putting my feet on the machine and using it that way. Dr. A said that would be really good because then my head won't be vibrating also. The cool thing though, is that both Heather BT and James love the machine. Heather BT uses it everyday. I am so happy about this. She is up to 10 minutes and I am really glad. I just now need to find what will work for me.</p><p>On Tuesday, both C and I will have our botox shots at the neurologists office. This will be my third round. It was funny because when Dr. A asked if I thought they were helping, I couldn't answer. I didn't know. I said I think so. After this round I will pay more attention. I did tell her I had bought a chronic pain tracker. I hadn't used it, but I have it. She laughed and said she wasn't surprised. I said I really try not to focus on my pain level. That Dr. A said is good. I am donating the chronic pain tracker book. I used it once.</p><p>Pictures: Top picture is Valerian - he is a Yorkie. Then Me and Peony. Third down is Peony, my dog, Fourth down is my sister, bottom, Peony</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh87g_FtpC2IGcy8TK5aFzASBRQElQODej7AtIPJ2f3dWn40xdn4EPUuNiDegOiZXJOCRGnUh_Q0-gAnc53Uj63Uo-yXeATLYZaCbJGL2foWxmijcZ0EKojtvc2esMWKA-ThdUmUEM3QzODBMvIo6vM9Ymq8_IAY2mX_gE9r_0WBJM8Yvf7NEG9ayt/s960/IMG-1076.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh87g_FtpC2IGcy8TK5aFzASBRQElQODej7AtIPJ2f3dWn40xdn4EPUuNiDegOiZXJOCRGnUh_Q0-gAnc53Uj63Uo-yXeATLYZaCbJGL2foWxmijcZ0EKojtvc2esMWKA-ThdUmUEM3QzODBMvIo6vM9Ymq8_IAY2mX_gE9r_0WBJM8Yvf7NEG9ayt/s320/IMG-1076.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-VukbJvqsa9YsewuP6ycqw627bQ---BaaCUKrewx9zOxVlxm52LrFRhUf-HycT23il2GZHABqvBHIYaClJ5uVHInnDoR0VPuBYDIdmfxdFcv5dRhuRvLd8ky-DzCdaoLPQujwBCKA5oDcBBHQoCzdQyPECeoFSShQiUkglIlD4wfOkAsSbHux0dB/s4032/IMG-0857.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-VukbJvqsa9YsewuP6ycqw627bQ---BaaCUKrewx9zOxVlxm52LrFRhUf-HycT23il2GZHABqvBHIYaClJ5uVHInnDoR0VPuBYDIdmfxdFcv5dRhuRvLd8ky-DzCdaoLPQujwBCKA5oDcBBHQoCzdQyPECeoFSShQiUkglIlD4wfOkAsSbHux0dB/s320/IMG-0857.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4wpB-o9i-W9BYdKDiBAfiJPdB87tzOUaEWbhgww7zLH-c-qfq0axvKwnsR00bxS4KZv6wek4qRQkznhyjIrd6qIX283jDB6Z2OhYYOKTjwQGklg3vAJy92eKj9mXqdsnzoTQXYyq44z3TtAPnA1bjL6a4Mm-6MHGi1T39OnP19H9YF-AGNKcjJUc5/s4032/IMG-0288.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4wpB-o9i-W9BYdKDiBAfiJPdB87tzOUaEWbhgww7zLH-c-qfq0axvKwnsR00bxS4KZv6wek4qRQkznhyjIrd6qIX283jDB6Z2OhYYOKTjwQGklg3vAJy92eKj9mXqdsnzoTQXYyq44z3TtAPnA1bjL6a4Mm-6MHGi1T39OnP19H9YF-AGNKcjJUc5/s320/IMG-0288.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Il-wumzve4wmAzMBeN5FZW8XIHD9npz-f1YwerDy6VfoYaS3BkhNTXRH-k7LcsR5g0ZEowsqV94hwmy9ET3ZsUEYJyQKi0KEftc-okSj73L4n_nZEeUhgezzYfCyolowB_alx7AgEODxfcSOKeSmDvO7UWw6TpbmnRBp3Ov8kVj1U3OfY2rvhgdo/s3088/IMG-0916.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2320" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Il-wumzve4wmAzMBeN5FZW8XIHD9npz-f1YwerDy6VfoYaS3BkhNTXRH-k7LcsR5g0ZEowsqV94hwmy9ET3ZsUEYJyQKi0KEftc-okSj73L4n_nZEeUhgezzYfCyolowB_alx7AgEODxfcSOKeSmDvO7UWw6TpbmnRBp3Ov8kVj1U3OfY2rvhgdo/s320/IMG-0916.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTwQYWceePQtpBvRV4SntrD6wouRtio5ahb8wYz8fsetYYNFCuBeyv4PSbXOphg_OB0j3B_rqvW1NfB5dup8FgPNz_nAlIORqQoyyDsow02id6-nIBjC0xCUUJdN79GjX51NGFZfthMbWvqoqdQTug4J5GVsFcb4lnSlQewIA0vRDwprQkHOgJ7r1/s4032/IMG-0159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTwQYWceePQtpBvRV4SntrD6wouRtio5ahb8wYz8fsetYYNFCuBeyv4PSbXOphg_OB0j3B_rqvW1NfB5dup8FgPNz_nAlIORqQoyyDsow02id6-nIBjC0xCUUJdN79GjX51NGFZfthMbWvqoqdQTug4J5GVsFcb4lnSlQewIA0vRDwprQkHOgJ7r1/s320/IMG-0159.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-24230589911961973702022-07-05T16:32:00.003-07:002022-07-05T16:32:56.745-07:00new portable a/c unit<p> About a week ago, a new portable a/c unit arrived!! It has helped a lot. I will be ordering another one this week. I am really happy about these because we are expecting a very hot and humid summer. Not as hot as the south, true, but for SE Michigan, hot. I have one for my room and we have one for the living room, which is where I teach. The next one, I am no longer sure where it is now going. It will be helpful no matter where we put it.</p><p>Anyways, enough about that. I can't believe it is July already!!!! Where did June go? Seriously?? Peony and I have been hanging out as usual. She is such a beautiful little pup. She is 8 now. 8!!! What a joy she sure is. All my students love her. One is afraid of dogs so I always have all the dogs blocked. I will not force our dogs on anyone. It is mean and rude to do that, especially if the child is afraid. I was afraid of dogs for the longest time growing up. I was walking past a house in our sub and that family's dog jumped over their fence, pinning me down. I was screaming. I was not very old. Early elementary age, I think. The family was in the back yard but they weren't paying attention to their dog. They didn't even notice it wasn't in their yard. a neighbor was pulling in our sub and happen to see my pinned to the ground by a big dog. He and his wife hopped out of their car to help me. It seemed to me it took a long time for him to get the attention of the owners in the backyard. I, naturally, was still rather upset and crying while she was trying to calm me down. I do remember them driving me home. They knew where I lived as they were neighbors. They told my mom what happened and boy was she mad. I finally calmed down. I avoided walking anywhere near that house for years. They moved several years after that incident. So, like I said, I understand being afraid of dogs.</p><p>I have been so so so nauseated these past few weeks. The heat has really gotten to me and so has the pain. Generally, the meds I take help enough to take the edge off. Not these last few weeks. I have also had way more migraines than usual. I know a lot of it is the weather and the changes of the weather but not all of it.</p><p>I am hungry so I am going to go and get something to eat now. I hope your 4th of July was a good one!!!</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-84489307710856628632022-06-22T13:30:00.002-07:002022-06-22T13:30:15.501-07:00June 22<p> I had an appointment with my Rheumatologist today. It was just a regular check up. My right shoulder is starting to hurt again at the bursa part of the arm. I have an appoint with the specialist on July 13. I am going to call tomorrow and see if I can get in earlier. I really don't want it to get worse and freeze. It was partially frozen when I first saw him in May. Not good.</p><p>The heat wave is back. It is 90* right now and with the heat index it feels like close to 90*. The rest of the week will be super hot too. Ugh. I know there are parts of the country in the south that are much hotter, I feel for all who live there. Anyways, I am in my living room where the portable A/C unit is. I am hoping by the weekend we will have at least two window units. One is definitely going in my room. I think the second should go in the other Heather and Bill's room. </p><p>Peony is doing pretty okay. Her wound is healing really well. She is no longer wearing a cone or a collar. When she had the cone on she looked so pathetic and sad. She did look too sad with the collar. My poor little girl. She is my favorite companion to run errands with. She loves riding in the car. Simply loves it. I have a seat belt leash that I put on her. This way she can look out the window with the window part way down and I don't have to worry about her jumping out. Peony is enterprising enough to try that once. She is fearless. She is such a beautiful little girls. She is a terrier mix. I could do one of those DNA things for dogs but they are expensive and seriously, I don't really care. She is mine and that is what matters. She loves sleeping on my bed at night. I love having her sleep on my bed at night, now that we took the bed off of the frame. It was so high that I was kind of jumping to get in my bed. When Heather BT saw that she was like, you are going to fall. I probably shouldn't have pointed out that I had, many times. Well, the little foot stool we call the jump came in for me to use. It worked. Then we realized why don't we just take the bed off of the frame. I really like it this way. I can actually sit and my feet are on the floor. It is beautiful.</p><p>It is almost time to teach the only lesson of the day. Bye!!!</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-86714185662687501572022-06-16T16:39:00.000-07:002022-06-16T16:39:23.805-07:00Heat Wave<p> Yesterday was 97*, however, with the heat index it felt more like 105*. Today is only 93* and it has cooled down to 90*. I do not do well in high heat or super cold. Both make me ache more. Right now i am in the living room which has the portable air conditioning unit. It feels wonderful. I do have 2 window fans now and we do have an attic fan. When the temperature is 90 and above it is pointless. It could be much worse though. We could live in the southern states. I will keep what weather we have. This weekend is suppose to be nice out and cooler. I will definitely enjoy that.</p><p>On the brain fog front, it hasn't been super bad, just the usual. I can only focus for so long and. then I need a break. I think what really helps me with teaching lessons is a combo of being able to focus for a bit and the the hyper focus of the ADHD. I definitely think that is my superpower. Also, when I am focusing on a lesson, my pain level doesn't seem as high. That is a good thing. I am really learning a lot about my ADHD. I always try to improve myself and strive to do better. I want to be the best me I can be. Yes, I am in pain 24/7. Yes, I have all the other things that go along with fibro, I don't think that for me, that it means I can't strive to be a better me. The more I learn about ADHD, the more so much of me is explained. My extra chattiness. Yes, I was that child. The one who talked to everyone in class. My mom once told me that when she went to my first school conference for first grade, my teacher asked my mom if I ever stopped talking. My mom asked her if I talked all the time in class. The teacher said no, just most of it. Mom said that was good, last year, she talked all the time. Yes, that was my ADHD. It wasn't something that anyone really tested for in girls at that time. This was the early to mid 70s. When I wasn't talking, I was daydreaming. I have this really weird thing I can do. I can see my daydreams in front of me. Like I am watching a movie. I tried to explain it to my best friend once and she thought it was so weird. Again, inattentiveness, ADHD. I have a really hard time falling asleep. I always have. My brain never shuts up. You would think with the amount of brain fog I have, that it would be easier to fall asleep. Nope. Not at all. Again, ADHD. This is just a few of what I have learned in the past six or so months since being officially diagnosed. </p><p>I am so excited that the Dowton Abbey: A New Era movie is out!!!! Kathy, my best friend, and I are trying to find a weekend where she can come to town and then we can see the movie! Her mom wants to see it too. That will be a lot of fun. I love her mom. She is a really neat person. I have pretty much known her almost all of my life too since well, I have know Kathy almost all of my life. It makes sense. Kathy's Dad passed away several years ago now. He was a really good guy. A good dad. I remember at Kathy's wedding, she didn't want to do the Daddy/Daughter Dance because both she and her Dad are quite shy. I didn't blame her. She had always been shy. One of the things I loved doing when we were young was going to her house and hanging out. We would read and listen to music. Apparently, we would also dress up their toy size poodle Pepper in doll clothes. Pepper was such an awesome dog. I really loved that dog. Kathy's mom said that she would let us put whatever clothes we wanted on her. We also would put her in a doll stroller and walk her outside. That poor dog. We both loved her though. She was love in the form of a dog. Plain and simple. Just love. Kathy and I still like to hang out and read together. I have much more time to read than she does since she has these cute minions she is raising, although one is now 24, I think, and another is 19. The youngest two are 15. She also has a hubby. I can't wait to see her and her mom soon and the movie!!!!!</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-85571676455264746932022-06-11T13:09:00.002-07:002022-06-11T13:09:23.875-07:00I Can't Believe it Has Been a Year!!!!<p> Wow, it apparently has been a year since my last post. For someone who used to write a post everyday this is really kind of crazy!!! It has been a year. So much has happened. The pandemic is still a thing. All my in person students must wear a mask as both Heather BT and I have several chronic issues that put us in a very high risk situation should either of us get covid. We are both vaccinated. Everyone in the house is. One is most unhappy about it, but he still is. It is hard for some of our friends to understand that while they may get a mild case of covid as they are healthy and all, however, should they pass it on to either Heather BT or me, well, that is where the problem could come in. We are not healthy. We have compromised immune systems. We have serious asthma issues. We already can't breathe well. Anyways, we do hope that the pandemic will end soon and everything will be okay.</p><p>The biggest thing besides covid that happened this past year is that I was diagnosed with ADHD!!! So much makes sense now. I was seeing a therapist about my eating disorder and anxiety. It was a failure. First, she would say, that isn't really binge eating. Really?? What would you call it then? Then, every session she would ask, did anything make you anxious this past week? Ummm, breathing? I have anxiety 24/7. I could not get her to understand this. I saw her for about seven months. In that time, she couldn't understand that I had constant anxiety and my eating disorder. Yes, I stopped seeing her. It was incredibly frustrating. I cannot find one now that takes my insurance and is accepting new patients. However, discovering that I have ADHD has really helped a lot. For one thing, my anxiety. Yup, my anxiety is probably mostly from ADHD and not really anything else. Yes, I have brain fog issues from fibromyalgia, but most of the anxiety is most likely from the ADHD and the rest from brain fog. My impulsiveness of shopping on amazon in the middle of the night? ADHD. My daydreaming? ADHD. My hyperfocus on lessons? ADHD. This is what actually has helped my be able to keep teaching the little bit I do. Because of the amount of brain fog I have, I cannot teach full time like I used to. Hyperfocus allows me to be able to focus enough to teach a couple lessons a day before I can't focus anymore. There is so much more to my ADHD than just the few I mentioned. It really has helped me understand why I do some of what I do and now some of it I have learned so new coping skills. I really really wish I knew I had ADHD when I was in college. It would have made things so much easier for me. College was hard enough because of my deafness and now I realize because of my ADHD. I am just so thankful I had a mom who did what she could to help me complete my classes and graduate with my bachelors degree. It seems kind of funny now because I am partially deaf and at the time I didn't wear hearing aids, to be a music major. I was though. My students actually think it is cool that they have a deaf music teacher. Only once have I ever had a student quit because they found out I wore hearing aids. Yes, I was upset and it really hurt. It was a Takelessons student. When one of the reps called to tell me that the student had canceled all the lessons and why, I was so upset. He was the one who had been speaking with the mom. It didn't make sense because the student have four lessons with me before she saw the wire on my ear. He asked how the lessons were and the mom said they were good. He could not understand why after four lessons that were good and the student was doing really well, why all of a sudden this was a problem. Yes, Takelessons is aware that I am partially deaf and that I wear hearing aids. They know it is not a problem. Anyways, that was the only time and it was several years ago now. Mom put a lot of work into several of my classes. When the classes were in the big lecture halls, I couldn't hear anything because of the low rumble of talking even with the professor using a microphone. I would record all of the lecture and write down everything that was written on the board. Mom would take both and write notes for me to be able to study. I don't remember how many classes Mom did this for me in. Without her help, I would have failed all of them. She was amazing. I miss her a lot. Yesterday, I was sitting in my chair in my room and all of a sudden I missed her like it was yesterday she passed away. Grief is a strange creature. It comes and goes whenever it feels like. It has been almost 12 years. How can it be? </p><p>I have a new neurologist now. I am very pleased with her. She said it was time to get aggressive with this headache and the migraines. She said that 19 years is way to long to have a headache. I so agree. I have had 2 rounds of botox. I am unsure if it is helping. I don't know. I do know that in April I was having a lot of migraines. I have had less since May but I still have a lot of them. My daily headache is the same as always. It is there. Everything else is okay. Some stuff is worse some stuff is better.</p><p>Peony continues to be the light of my life. I so love that little dog. She is such a good companion. I couldn't ask for anyone better. She makes everything better. Just everything. There are two lessons that Peony can't listen under the piano bench to. One is because he is allergic to her and the other is because she is afraid of dogs. Other than that, Peony thinks her job is to listen to all the lessons and that all my students come to see only her. It is so funny. There are the few students who she will not let in the living room without a tummy rub and then will not let them leave without a tummy rub. They all love Peony.</p><p>I will try not to wait another year to post in my blog again!!</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-70535389086426801682021-06-02T19:58:00.002-07:002021-06-02T19:58:46.227-07:00It's a Wonderful Life<p> I know that sounds super weird to say and quite unexpected from a woman who has a lot of chronic issues UT it is true. Yes, the physical pain, constant fatigue, and brain fog that never quits, are always there. One thing I have noticed that I didn't notice when I was healthy, was the beauty of the world around me. I was too busy doing things that would make my future better and missed out on the here and now. I don't anymore. When I first got sick, I couldnt see anything but my pain. It took a few years to be able to see past the pain and fatigue so I could we the here and now. Like so many, I didn't get diagnosed until 2004. At that point I had many ups and downs with flares. When I got Vasculitis in March of 2003, things got worse. I got a horrific headache that I never dreamed that 18 years would go by and I would still have that headache, every day, all day, from the moment I wake to the moment I fall asleep. It doesn't end. Somehow, and it is unusual, the vasculitis went into remission and I haven't had a reoccurance since. Because we went to the Cleveland clinic, we did Gey confirmation that yes the vascuitis was in remission. Then I said those brave words, then what is it?? After some questions and some trigger point examination, the conclusion was fibromyalgia. My mother and I just looked at each other and cried. Literally cried. It had a name. I wasn't faking it or being lazy. There really was something wrong with me. We went home with much lighter hearts then when we arrived. </p><p>After the initial diagnosis, I read as much as I could about fibromyalgia. A friend of mine also has it. So much of how my health was made sense when I read it. This made me feel we relieved. </p><p><br /></p><p>Through all of this, I was teaching my music lessons. Unless I was seriously feeling really really sick, I taught anyway. This wasn't too different from before we got the diagnose. I love teaching. It is really hard to be sad or upset and teach. First of all, most of the time, the student is happy to see you. Secondly, you are teaching a subject you eat sleep and breathe. Now all my study cents are individual lessons. Third, your student does not Ned to know why you are sad or upset 99% of the time. Generally it is completely inappropriate to discuss those things. And lastly, if you continue to have a mopy of not a great attitude while you are teaching, you will not keep your students very long. </p><p>At this point in my life I am unable to teach fulltime. Yes it saddens me to a point but I can still teach some. I an happy about that. The students that I have right now are really wonderful. There isn't one that is being forced to play or sing. That is important. </p><p>The one thing that makes me smile and smile every single day is my dog Peony. She is the light of my life. I can't even imagine life without here. She is super sweet and so loving. With these things in my life, how can it be anything other than wonderful?</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-49357736311985835032021-01-22T14:49:00.001-08:002021-01-22T14:49:17.179-08:00Musing on a Friday<p> I am gathering everything I need for the dreaded taxes. As someone who works very parttime and is a subcontractor, I have to save all relevant receipts during the year. My current issue is I bought music through Amazon and now I need the proof of purchase type thing. I will be figuring it out shortly. I want to turn my stuff in really early this year. I have been doing better. I used to have to always send in an extension request because I didn't gather the stuff in time. I am trying to have everything ready so when the last thing I expect comes in, off I go to drop off my stuff. </p><p>Online lessons have definitely turned out to be such a good thing. I am staying online for now until the virus is under control and it is safe to go back to in person. I have a feeling that several are going to want to stay online though. It would be fine with me. Whichever works for them works for me. I am not picky. I have two more lessons tonight. My best friend's daughters. They are doing very well. We are getting ready for competition next month. They are singing two songs each. There aren't any ensembles this year because it is a virtual competition. Next year will go back to in person. It is definitely not safe yet. </p><p>Peony has decided she doesn't like any other dog near me when she is around today. She growled at Valerian. I haven't figured out how to get her to stop being jealous. I don't know if it is even possible to get that trained out of her. I have no idea. I have looked but no such luck so far. Peony had been not using her back left leg so I took her to the vet. He subscribed her a med and them she was better. She is doing that again. It is not as bad as before so that is good. We are keeping an eye on it. That seems to be the thing to do right now. It isn't everyday or all day, just once in a while. The vet thinks she may have pulled a muscle in her leg. It is possible. </p><p>I finally get to see the specialist who will be the one to put the pacemaker in my stomach to help it digest properly. I have been waiting for so long. I am so glad I finally get to see them. I have to arrive 15 minutes early as usual for seeing a new doctor. My gastro doctor did send all my records over to them, so I am sure these are just the insurance type forms and stuff like that. No big deal It is about an hour away. I don't care. They are the only place who does this around here. I will drive that hour each way that is for sure. It will definitely be worth it. I am anxious to be getting the show on the road.</p><p>I also decided that I needed to start working with a therapist for anxiety and food. I really need the help. My anxiety is ridiculously high and food, well, I have had issues with food since I was a teen. I am not doing any bulimia symptoms or anything, but binge eating is bad. It isn't every day but it happens. It is horrible and needs to stop. I need help with stopping. I can't do it myself. I have finally admitted it to myself. I can't. I started last week with the intake session and next week is the first real session. I am very anxious about this because well, that is me. Anxious girl. I figure if I can get the binging on food in control, I will be able to lose weight and then not eat what bothers my pain level!!! Won't that be nice? I thought so too.</p><p>That's all for now. I hope everyone is doing well. </p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-64405752690639674962021-01-15T13:38:00.000-08:002021-01-15T13:38:08.234-08:00mid January Already???<p> Time goes so fast these days. I just got home from watching my friend's teens. Yeah, watch. I barely saw them except at meal time. They are off doing their school work or on the computer or just hanging out with their prairie dogs. Yes, they have two prairie dogs. They are adorable. Simply adorable. Not as cute as Peony, of course, but cute. Peony still rules for me. I got a nice long snuggle with Peony today when I came home. Such a nice hello to come home too. I did have to go and pick up some meds though. Wow, can I tell I am back in stage one of medicare. It was really expensive. Super expensive. I about choked. I am glad to be home. </p><p>I must say though, I am aching all over today. More than usual. Normally my meds take the edge off so I can function for the day. Today, I am just very very very very sore. I did get two big blisters and two small blisters from the original chair I was sitting on. I did find this out the first night. I switched chairs. It helped some and I found the foot stool I usually use, That helped a lot. I haven't felt great since Monday. Like I said, I am glad to be home. I need to check out the blisters. Seriously, who gets these but me?? Crazy things. <br /></p><p>Not too much going on for the rest of the night or weekend for that matter. Just hanging out and resting, mostly resting. That will be my main priority, resting. I need to get recharged for the week ahead. I started therapy this past week. It will be interesting that is for sure. I do hope it will help. </p><p>I need to put some pictures of Peony on this computer. I don't have any. She is my best model. The teens don't want their pictures taken anymore so I can't take their pictures. Peony never complains when I take her pictures!!!!!! </p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-15327820507725690172020-12-01T12:03:00.002-08:002020-12-01T12:03:31.674-08:00First of December<p> It is hard to believe that the year is almost to the end. 2020 has been the worst year with the pandemic. I have learned some things this year. I learned how to teach online. That was new to me. It started off with just Samantha and Alicia. I was learning a lot. Then, bam!!!! All lessons had to be done online. Yup. No one in and no one out. That was so hard at first. I did okay though as I got used to it. I started going to a chiropractor in February to see if he could help my headaches. He has helped some. The everyday headache is not gone. I wonder if it ever will. I finally will have an appointment with a doctor that I have been waiting for since July. Apparently, my doctor office had the wrong number. It happens. I am to call back in a few days. You know I will. I am hoping that I will be approved to be getting a pacemaker in my stomach so I may not be nauseated 24/7. It is awful. Simply awful. I take two antinausea meds to conquer this and I still get a lot of nausea. It will regulate the emptying of my stomach. That is what my doctor thinks will help the most. All the rest of my stuff is the same. I continue to try to live within its boundaries. I try not to overdue it.<br /></p><p>Peony continues to be the joy of my life. She is such a good dog, a good companion. When the pain day is high she really is a Godsent. She seems to know when I feel a lot of pain. Especially with a bad headache. </p><p>I will put up the little three foot tree up in the living room again this year. It didn't go up for some reason last year. I don't know why. I just don't know. I need to have Sammy here to help me organize this room better. It is so unorganized because I need so much music for teaching during the week. I have two really tall piles of music. It is crazy. Just crazy. </p><p>I just have two students today. Starting next week, one of my Monday students is moving to Tuesday. It will work out somehow. It always does. The ones I have today are two cute little boys. Their mom and I have been friends since we were teens. We met in ballet class. We are both still friends with our first ballet teacher too. It is neat. I love facebook for that reason. I have reconnected to many different people. People from high school, dance, college, it is just really nice to see how they are doing now. I am very thankful for the dance studio I went to. Never once did Karen, the owner and main dance teacher, ever make me feel unwelcomed or I was too fat to dance, her opinion was, you want to learn to dance, I will teach you to dance and I learned. I loved dance so much. I was always the biggest one in the class but no one ever made fun of me or bullied me, not like at school. This was so nice. Debbie, my first ballet dance teacher really made me feel like I could do anything. She was so encouraging. I learned a lot from her as to how I teach. It isn't that I don't correct my students, I do, it is how you do it. I had a voice teacher at WSU who constantly belittled me, put me down, called my untalented, I cried through my voice lessons. I finally had to have a friend come with me because he was so mean. Then he was gone for eight weeks. We had a sub for six weeks. What a difference in teaching styles. First off, this man was nice. He also said he couldn't understand how someone could call my untalented. He said I was very talented and he wanted me for his choice, bel canto singers. Unfortunately, my schedule wouldn't allow me to be in it. I learned so much from him. He taught me two pieces he wanted me to sing for my jury. That is a performance exam. The exam my teacher was not allowed to be in because of his bad behavior towards me. When my teacher came back, I said the words that the sub teacher told me to say to him when he started to bully me. It was hard but I did. There wasn't much time left of the school year. I really only went to the teacher I was supposed to because I had to. I went to the sub teacher because I wanted to learn. He actually taught me those songs. I got an A on my jury. One of the teachers asked about how I did this semester. I told the truth about the sub and the teacher. I wasn't surprised that the teacher's contract wasn't renewed. I had finished my four semesters of voice lessons. I then started taking from Carolyn Grimes. She was lovely. I learned so much from her. Oh my. My voice really matured when I had her as a teacher. She was just an amazing person. I also learned how to teach from her. I learned how to create lesson plans from my mother and then how to correct students and how to keep their enthusiasm from <br />Debbie and Carolyn. </p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-55363501863673951152020-10-25T11:56:00.000-07:002020-10-25T11:56:38.186-07:00End of October<p> I received a text from a friend to go look on facebook. I did and then I had to ask where to look. A friend from High School had passed away from colon cancer. She and I were not friends in High School but were as adults. It is horribly sad. I feel so sad for her family. Makes you really realize that you don't know from one day to the next what will happen. Sometime in the next few days the arrangements will be made. Since it is covid, I will not plan on attending so she can have more of her family attend. With covid, you have to think of these things now. </p><p>November is just around the corner and with that is the election that I cannot wait to be over. The absolute hatred that is going on is amazing to me. What happened to human kindness? Respecting each other's opinion? Not anymore. Now it is more of a you are wrong and I will hate you. Media of course is lapping this up. The politicians aren't helping either. It feels so different from the last two presidential elections. This is more out of control. People are just out of control. It is so unbelievable to me. I can't wait for it to end.</p><p>Tuesday I start the first of the wrappings for the lymphedema on my legs. We are starting with the right calf. It is huge. Simply huge. I wore the hideous shoes yesterday and will wear them again today. They are very heavy. very very heavy. When I walked upstairs, my hips, lower back, and left knee hurt. I am skeptical about this now. I will give it a go though. I won't know unless I give it a good go. The huge box will come with me. She said to use my walker so I will. </p><p>Tomorrow I get my flu shot. I get it every year. I have for many years now. I get it at 9;30 am. yup. Nice and early. I will so come home and sleep. I also have a rheumatologist appointment at 1:30. They have moved so I will need to plug in the address to waze to get directions. I do hope she is on time more than she used to be. At one time she was, then she wasn't. </p><p>I bought Peony winter socks. She wouldn't let me put them on her. She kept pulling her cute little paw away. She was basically saying no no no. A thousand times no!!!! She loves going on walks and has lost a lot of the excess weight so this would make it easier for her to walk when it is colder out. No, not my dog, she says no. I will not wear them. Too bad human!!!!!</p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-45796923985105949182020-10-19T18:11:00.000-07:002020-10-19T18:11:03.978-07:00<p> In some ways this year has been faster than last year, in other ways it is crawling by. COVID still has us by the neck. Some of us are not allowed in the stores yet. I am on of them. I am very high risk with my chronic stuff going on. I don't mind, if I need music, I just call Annie at her store and she orders it, When it comes in, she brings it out to me. It works. I have most of my students. I really only lost one and she was brand new to begin anyway. I do enjoy teaching online. I love seeing the kids too. Right now all but 6 are online. </p><p><br /></p><p>Fall has arrived. The temps were beautiful for about a week. It's a little too chilly right now, mainly because it is raining out, Always feels cooler when it rains.</p><p><br /></p><p>Christmas Recital will be very different this year. I am not sure how this will happen but B says it will////////////////////! We are going to put on a Zoom Recital this year.</p><p><br /></p><p>Competition will also be virtual. New ways to do the old things. I am teaching through the internet. Before COVID, who would have thought?? Not me? I was told several years also that I should look into this teaching online idea. ICOVID, maybe manners, how important family is. I don't know. I shall try to look anything new right in the eye and with a very timid and very scared voice ask how do I do this:? </p>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-5165201676703028372020-07-26T15:44:00.000-07:002020-07-26T15:44:17.643-07:00Covid 19 MusingsWe have been in quarantine for four months. Our State has opened up some. Not everything just some. I am teaching online. That is a huge change for me. I now have four students who have come back to in person lessons but the majority are online still and will be for a while. I was luckier than most in that I didn't totally lose my income. <div><br /></div><div>For the past few months I have been living out a dream. I have recently been in contact with my sister. It is a beautiful word. She lives across the ocean from me. She is from my dad's first marriage and me and my brothers are from the second marriage. We have had lovely chat.on messenger. It is so nice to speak with her. I look forward to many more.</div><div><br /></div><div>My left knee has been in a fibro flare from hell for several days now. I have tried cbd cream. It has helped some. I can't put it on with Peony here as she licks it off. Yes, it is like, really I need that more than you do. I will wait until she goes to bed. On another health front, I will be getting a gastric pacemaker. I have gastroparisis. My stomach doesn't digest like it is supposed to. It takes a really long time to empty. This will improve this function. I am waiting on a date for the consoltation. I hope to.hear from the.hospital soon.</div><div><br /></div><div>That is about it. I will leave you with a picture of the adorable one. Peony</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cSkxLLPoVzg/Xx4HHgnI9aI/AAAAAAAAAas/TId4R5pkeic2kjmXhMQ_N43lqKF9UL-1wCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/2019-10-15_17-55-30_217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cSkxLLPoVzg/Xx4HHgnI9aI/AAAAAAAAAas/TId4R5pkeic2kjmXhMQ_N43lqKF9UL-1wCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/2019-10-15_17-55-30_217.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-85925623320014329292020-04-07T18:59:00.000-07:002020-04-07T19:03:20.231-07:00Night before my birthday musingsTomorrow is 52nd birthday. It seems weird to me to be this old. I don't feel different except physically where everything is falling apart. It is a different birthday as we are all quarantined. We can go to get grocies, meds, and doctors. That is about it. All my lessons are online. My students and I often went to get ice cream for my birthday. I believe we will have cake. Bill said he will see what he can do. We are all getting alone for all six of us being home. <br />
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My pain hasn't been horribly bad not has my nausea. I have been going to a chiropractor. I have finally found one that didn't flinch when I told him about the hardware attached to my spine. At the first evaluation, he checked my neck and thinks that my daily headache that I have had for 17years is from my neck issue. He has been working on my neck and adjusting it. I am pleased with the results. It hasn't helped the head much but if has helped some of the back issues.<br />
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I have, unfortunately, added a new diagnose, cyclical vomiting syndrome. I now take two anti nausea meds. One is there times a day and yes, I have to wake up in the middle of the night to take. The other is twice a day. Despite this new issue, I have in the last year gained 35 pounds of the 70 I had lost. Party of it was a med. If you are on protonix for a lo g time you can gain weight, however the majority is due to cookies and bad food choices. I have improved upon that now.<br />
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Peony is doing so good as usual. She is looking super cute. I never knew I could love a dog so much. First there was Maisy and now there is Peony.<br />
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<br />Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-82561621002299526632019-11-08T14:24:00.001-08:002019-11-08T14:24:34.682-08:00Change profile pictureDoes anyone know how to change the profile picture on the blog?????Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-78593797832924542682019-11-08T14:11:00.000-08:002019-11-08T14:11:14.710-08:00Reading a good bookI love to read. It took a long time to learn how and once I did, I never stopped. One of my favorite authors is Kay Bratt. She writes simply delish books. Every one I have read has been wonderful. The newest one is called True to Me. It is a journey of self discovery for the main character, Quinn. She goes to find out about her mother and discovers herself along the way I found it a magical journey of hope. It was beautiful from beginning to end. I wish I had the words to describe exactly how I felt reading it. With fibro, like so many of us, it is so hard to concentrate. I did not have this issue with this book. I know, can you imagine?? Being able to focus on a book?? It was that captivating.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-52634267319089418432019-10-26T18:24:00.000-07:002019-10-26T18:24:24.126-07:00A new kindleI have a nook for reading. It is the nook color. I just love it. I now have a kindle fire seven. I can do so much on it. It is like a computer to me. I am quite happy with it. <br />
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I went to see the Ellers this past week. I do so enjoy my time there with the kids. Hayden had his birthday on Monday. He is now 15. They grow so fast. When I came home it appeared that I didn't get the explosive tummy like I have gotten every single time I spend more than a day there. However, I got a mild case Thursday night. I was most unhappy. At least this time was mild. <br />
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My cousin, Danyelle, is getting married in March. I am so happy for her. She is very nice. She is the one I am giving the family locket to. She is very sentimental so I am glad. I don't think it is worth much money but it is from my mom who got it from her grandmother who got it from her brother in her 16th birthday. There are a multitude of reasons why she is getting it over others. I won't go through that here.<br />
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Pairwise these last few weeks have sucks. My lower back especially. I don't know what is up but it can disappear any time now. If I am mindful of how much I stand and where I sit, it isn't so bad. If I am not well, let's just say I am reminded to pay more attention.<br />
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I have been trying something new for anxiety. Hypnotherapy. My friend is a therapist. I have had one session. She recorded a session for me to listen to. I have listened to it three times already. I slept better last night than I have in a long time. I think maybe it will help. I will keep you posted.<br />
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More Peony cuteness.<br />
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<br />Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-61567453279649493182019-10-16T19:20:00.001-07:002019-10-16T19:20:32.278-07:00A Day From HellSo today sucked, really bad. I had a test on Monday to see if this flap worked during the digestive cycle. Whatever it is they gave me has caused things from immediate tummy cramps which were extremely painful to this morning lovely gift of explosive diarrhea. Yes. The joys in life. I will say I believe it is now over but I must be cautious because I don’t want a repeat. The worse part is that the two lessons I had were actually absences instead of reschedules. Nothing I can do about though. Just continue on with the week.<br />
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My car is in for repair. The front brakes and rotors are being fixed as well as the left wheel bearing and left tie rod. I hope it is done tomorrow so that I have it back before Friday. I actually didn’t mind not having it because I was sick so I wouldn’t have gone anywhere anyhow!!! <br />
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I have been having issues with my right knee lately. I am not sure why but if I don’t put cream on it I can’t sleep because of the pain. Sometimes I just hate my body. When I am ready to go to sleep and the knee starts in, that is one time I do.<br />
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I accidentally stepped on Peony’s paw tonight. I didn’t mean too. I picked her up to say sorry and she growled at me. I understand I stepped on her. My poor puppy. We just celebrated her birthday. She is now six. Since we don’t really know when her birthday is we picked the Canadian Thanksgiving Day to celebrate. I wanted to get her a boatload of toys but I can’t right now. Eventually I will be able too. Just not right now. <br />
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Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-75406686702138060732019-10-11T19:16:00.001-07:002019-10-11T19:16:35.193-07:00A Friday NightIt is Friday night and I am just relaxing in my chair in my room. Peony is lying next to my sleeping. She is such a good little doggie. I love her so much. She calms my anxiety which can be so overwhelming some days. I have tried to explain it to my family but they don’t get it. In some ways that is good in others that is bad. My anxiety has improved in some things. I did panic this past week though. We got a letter from the township saying that the shingles need to be picked up from the yard. I thought our roof, which was completely redone in 2008, was falling apart. I called a roof company that was advertising on Facebook. I set an appointment for today at five. I was very anxious about this because I don’t know how I would pay this off. So Bill so the letter and told me that he would put the packaged up shingles in the shed. I asked if they were from our roof. He said no. They are for the shed we are going to build in the spring. I was like so relieved. I cancelled the appointment. I talked to the other Heather (yes there are two of us with the same name in the house) and she said that next time just ask Bill first. I said I would. So our roof is doing really good so I am happy. Now I do know that our furnace will probably be the next big thing to deal with. Anyway. I am not thinking about that one right now. <br />
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It is supposed to be a bit chilly here tomorrow. I have warm clothes now in the closet so I am ready. Rose and I changed out all the summer stuff to fall and winter. I have a few short sleeve tops incase it warms up a bit but mostly it is longer sleeves. <br />
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I am hoping to go and see my aunt next weekend. I am not sure but we may possibly see the Downton Abbey movie. I have seen it but she loves the series so I would love to see the movie with her. We haven’t celebrated her birthday yet. We just haven’t had our schedules lined up to celebrate or when we do, I don’t have the money to get there. I think she will really like it. Apparently no one expected it to be such a hit movie. They are making a sequel. I am glad. I did so enjoy the series and the movie. It was so fun to go with Jennie and Kathy. I just know it takes days to recover from such an outing. <br />
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My nausea hasn’t lessen yet. Even with the latest additional med. so I take zolfran every eight hours like clockwork. Then I take this other stuff twice a day. Generally at five and 11 pm. In between the zolfran hours. I have a test Monday to see what may be causing this. So far the doctor is just saying it is cyclical vomiting syndrome. She wants to see if there is something not working right since my gallbladder has been taken out. It happens sometimes. The scan is later in the evening. Can’t eat or drink after 2pm. I can live with that. It will mess up some meds but not much I can do about that. I will bring them with me to take as soon as possible. I just want to not feel so nauseous all the time. That would be beautiful. <br />
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I have been trying to read a lot. Sometimes I can sometimes I can’t. It depends on the pain level for what kind of concentration and focus I have for the day. Sometimes, I am lucky I can focus on teaching the one student I have for that day. If I can’t I have to reschedule them. Fortunately I have very flexible students. They also know I can be flexible back. I wanted to go back teaching full time this fall. Yeah. After having three lessons in a row, I couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything and I had a really bad headache the days I tried to teach more. I guess that is not happening anytime soon. It bums me out. I used to be able to teach 60 students in one week. Now I have 10 and it is all I can handle. It makes me really sad sometimes. Other times it doesn’t bother me. Because I really wanted to go back full time, it is bothering me that I can’t. I think I am stuck in a rut and need to figure out how to get out.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-7259999089059044052019-10-06T14:30:00.002-07:002019-10-06T14:30:45.544-07:00A Resting Sundayit has been a slow fall as far as lessons this year. I have 12 students so I am happy for that. I have room for about three more then that is it. Everything will be full for me at that point. Christmas music is being pulled out at this time for students as we have a Christmas recital every year. Other than that, no new news on the teaching front. <br />
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I got to see Kathy very briefly yesterday and three of her children. I was happy to see them. Matthew, her oldest came to my car to get the guitar books I told him he could have, the girls, wanted to see Peony as I brought her with me, and I needed to have some paperwork signed by Kathy. I have updated my power of attorney and patient advocate papers as well as my will. So she signed the two that she needed to sign. She was visiting her mom so I met her there. It is about 45 minutes away. I didn’t mind the drive at all. Much stress was lifted because those papers were signed. It was so needed. I am now covered incase something happens to me. I am rather pleased with myself that I am. On the plus side of this, I did get to speak to Kathy and her children!!!!!<br />
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Not much going on today. I watch the latest episode of NCIS New Orleans. It was good. I also watched another episode of law and order Los Angeles. I don’t care for it. I will stick with the shows I have. Tonight the NCIS LA is on so I can watch that tomorrow on cbs. The rest of tonight I am just resting. I have two lessons tomorrow. One is a make up from Saturday and the other is a regular Monday lesson. I may potentially have another, it depends on his work schedule We have it scheduled but sometimes we need to reschedule for another day. Anyways, C is here for the weekend. I have enjoyed her company so much. I got some nice quality time with her yesterday. She is with friends today. She is just amazing. A seemed to really like having her help him with his geometry homework. I thought it was cool. <br />
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That’s all for now!!!!!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-28569597196232881282019-09-22T17:38:00.000-07:002019-09-22T17:38:16.637-07:00Downton Abbey EvntSaturday was a magical day from start to finish. I had three lessons. Then my very best friend, Kathy came to see me!!!! We were going to dinner and a movie during this visit!!!! Our friend, Jenn was joining us!!!! I was so looking forward to this for so long!!! Jenn was coming in from about an hour away so we weren’t sure when exactly she would arrive. We planned dinner early enough so we wouldn’t hit the dinner rush. It was a good call. About 10 minutes after we sat down, Jenn arrived!!!! We ordered and the visiting commenced!!!!! We talked about everything, just everything!!!! I was so excited and happy about this day. Then we moved on to the final event of the night!!! The movie!!!!! Kathy had told me she wanted to see the Downton Abbey movie with me in about June. I had seen a few episodes but not anything dedicated to it. I said I would look at the first few to see if I would like it. She kept telling me I would love it. I watch the first two and was intrigued. The next thing I knew I finished season one!!!! Whoa!!!! Then two and so on!!!! I simply loved it!!!!!! I was prepared to see the movie. When I asked Jenn if she was interested in seeing the movie with me she said she hadn’t seen any of the episodes. As far as I knew it was okay because it would be a stand alone movie. She is now thinking of watching the entire series. We have a concert ion our hands. <br />
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Today, Kathy and I went to Tim Horton’s for Brunch and chatted some more. She left to go to her mom’s house. It is on the way home for her so I am pleased that she went to visit her mom also. It was a beautiful, exhausting weekend. I napped for about four hours today. I will be okay for sleeping tonight. I am just so thrilled that it went well. I did have a bad tummy yesterday but it was under control and wasn’t super bad like the previous week. I am so glad about that. Overall, this was worth the wait. It was worth the exhaustion and definitely worth the few days it will take to to recover.<br />
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Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-69926428213937246522019-09-16T19:19:00.000-07:002019-09-16T19:19:10.854-07:00Oh my gosh. I am heading towards the edge of the pain scaleSo I have been making small monthly payments to my doctors office. There was still a balance on the account. They had about a year ago merged with another healthcare group. Wow. I was dismissed from the office. I had no idea. I went to make a payment and get my pain pills refilled and my anxiety pills refilled. Yeah that is how I found out. So I paid what I owed and was loaned some of it because I didn’t have it all, the called back with the reference number now I am waiting to see if I get reinstated or not. I am in more pain than usual because of the no pain meds. It isn’t anything oxy type. I can’t take them as I get really bad bad headaches from them. The top part of my back hurts most than usually and so do many of my joints. I will see how I feel during the night. I hope to hear by tomorrow morning. This is nerve wracking and when the fire this wouldn’t have happened. I hope this works. I have Tylenol and ibuprofen but they don’t do a lot but they do a bit and that is what I need right now.<br />
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I have added into my checkbook app on my phone a payment to my doctor every month. I have two more doctors that I need to pay this month. This checkbook app has really helped in keeping me on track with stuff. I am really pleased with it. I have all my monthly bills listed. It is super easy to balance with the bank. It just is so good. I am quite glad to finally find something that works. I didn’t like any of the other ones I had tried.<br />
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Four more days until Kathy is here!!!! We are so excited to go and see the downton abbey movie!! Our friend, Jen is coming too. We don’t know where we are going for dinner yet but that is okay. We will decide and let Jen know. I can’t wait to see it. It should be marvelous. I belong to a fan page on Facebook. It is absolutely a hoot. I had Kathy join too. She is in love with the show as I am. She should be as she is the one who got me completely hooked. She said oh you will love this. So the skeptic that I am grudgingly watched the first episode. It was interesting. Then I watched the second and before I knew the first season was over. I was hooked. I binged watched all six of the seasons. I am just so thrilled they made a movie of it. I hope for many more!!! From what I have seen, so so many others do to!!!!!<br />
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I do hope for some decent sleep tonight. I have physical therapy tomorrow. I will be bringing my walker in with me to be sized. I want to have it checked so I know it isn’t causing injury to me. So many I see lean heavily bent over on their walkers and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be bent over while using it. Of course I will lean on it. I just don’t want to be bent over. <br />
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I am hoping that by tomorrow morning my scripts will be filled and I will be able to pick them up and be in the regular amount of pain. Not this insane amount of pain. Even my skin is hurting tonight. Even my skin. Ugh. Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-34359168613282456492019-09-16T00:19:00.002-07:002019-09-16T00:19:24.407-07:00Who Stole My Sleep???I can’t sleep. I have dozed off and on for the last few hours but not really sleeping. I hate this part of fibro so much. I mean, seriously!!!! I am so exhausted all the time and then bedtime comes and I can’t sleep?? There is something wrong with that picture. Something completely wrong. I have read Facebook and read my nook. I took my zolfran med at 2am as usual. I slept for about 45 minutes than woke up nauseous. Zolfran should have taken care of that. I went and got some bread to eat and that has helped a lot. It absorbs the extra acid in my stomach.<br />
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Every night I get to play this game called, will I get cold or hot in the middle of the night and need to change pajamas accordingly. I got hot and put my hair in a ponytail. Then I changed into my shorts pajamas. I tried to sleep. Still hot. Then I changed into a tank top style pajama top. Now I am fine. I go through this every night. It is just part of the routine. I always have the shorts and tank top pajamas near by.<br />
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I got my hair cut today. Heather BT did it. My hair was hurting. These past few days have not been my best. When I get a flare up of irritable bowel, I generally also get more of a headache too and it is harder to brush my hair because it hurts to do so. The last three days my hair has hurt. I could feel every strand of hair on my head and they hurt. I asked her to cut my hair. I needed it done anyways it wasn’t like out of the blue. I just hadn’t decided when to cut it or how I wanted it done. She cut about five inches off. It feels better now and it doesn’t hurt as much. Hopefully by noon it will be even better. <br />
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I have one lesson planned for today. Victoria. She is 19 and beautiful. She sings so lovely and is a really nice person too. I just love her. All the littler students love her too. She is a good role model for them. Quinn is playing volleyball for her school. This is exciting too as she is finally in a grade where she can play on team sports at her school. I am so excited for her to have this opportunity to do this.<br />
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I have opened up more availability for students at Takelessons. I had a new student but then something happened in the family and she can’t start lessons. I am disappointed but I know I will get something else soon. I am looking into different ways to market myself as a teacher. It is interesting to be a member of this one group on Facebook that talks about the marketing yourself. I haven’t listen to all of it but I will tomorrow and finish up on Tuesday. <br />
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That’s about all for tonight. It is now 3:15 am. I am going to try to get some more sleep!!!!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6836361830749346369.post-950242458483101952019-09-12T16:02:00.001-07:002019-09-12T16:02:36.444-07:00Back Home AgainI was at my beautiful Ellers these last four days. H, R, and A were there. We had a good time. We had some chuckles and some smiles. We also had N get mad at all of us and storm out for a couple of days. She is going to do what she is going to do. I want to tell her that everything will be okay but she is going to have to figure it out herself the hard way as many of us have in the past. I unfortunately came home with my irritable bowel syndrome in full swing so today has not been my best day but I am better than earlier, of which I am grateful for. I missed my Peony as you can imagine. She is one of the loves in my life. I had no lessons today. Both Joe and Ava needed to reschedule which was a good thing. A really good thing. Ava is a pianist who recently start several months ago and Joe is a saxophonist who I have had for the last few years. I have a good amount of students now. I may be able to handle one more but not more than that. With fibromyalgia I can only work about five hours a week. It keeps me involved enough to help pay bills and make me happy.<br />
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My favorite season is upon us. I love fall. Simply love it. It is the best season of all. I don’t ache as much as I do in the high humidity or the super cold. I love the turning of the leaves. It is nice enough to breathe and my asthma isn’t so bad either. Time for tea at night when reading in my room.<br />
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So I hope this is a nice weekend to hang out and teach a few lessons and read.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18184342717608985185noreply@blogger.com0