The new meds worked like a dream.  Mom went right into bed, only woke up once, and then went right back into bed.  Okay, it was weird when she woke up because she, for some odd reason, changed her pants into daytime pants.  I didn't argue with it, I just put her back in bed, no point at 4 am to arguing with her over something like that.  Other than that she went right to sleep BOTH times.  Yeah!!!!!!!!  I can't emphasize it enough!  Yeah!  She also didn't wake me up calling my name in the morning.  She stayed in her room and occasionally popped into mine but didn't wake me up.  Okay, I was sorta awake by 9:30 this morning, but I dozed on and off until 11 am.  I helped her get dressed without any problem from her, she helped me without a problem.  So far, I am liking this new medication.  We shall see how long it lasts.

I am waiting for her case worker to call.  I hope it is soon.  I want all this stuff over and done with.

I can't wait until tomorrow.  It's competition and our vacation.  With the new medication, I am hopeful she will be okay.  I have told her again and again she will be with Tilley most of the weekend, even though I know she will forget, I hope she will be nice to Tilley and not cry for me.  I have to do laundry and pack.  I think I will just put both our stuff in one suitcase, it will be easier that way.  I also will be bringing 2 fleece blankets to help keep us warm at night.  I have a list of what I need to bring.  Tilley left some stuff her a couple of weeks ago, so I told her I would bring it to her this weekend.  You can only bring so much back to Canada based on how long you stay before you have to pay duty.  She bought too much, but since she will be here for the weekend, it will be okay.  I hope my students are practicing and are ready for competition now.  I don't need anymore gray hair from them, as I like to say to them.

It's going to be a boring day, mostly laundry and packing, no visiting with Heather and children today, but I might see them this weekend.  I hope so.  Have a great day and enjoy the sun if you have any.  We do!!!

I found my phone!!!! Yup!  I was very excited last night when I did.  I was walking into my room after putting Mom to bed and under my bed (along with a couple of her puzzle books) was my phone!  I quickly got it out and put it in the drawer.  We went to Verizon today and returned the phone.  I had read most of the receipt, but I missed the part where it said $35 restocking fee.  I was like, oh no, but then the store clerk said he would waive the fee!  How great is that????  Certainly made my day.  So I returned the phone, got my money back and everything.  The downside of the day, Mom keeps crying since we came home.  I'm going to give her her anxiety meds.  Be right back.

Okay, I am back.  Mom now wants to go to bed.  Well, after going to bed early last night, we aren't doing that tonight.  She got up at midnight, managed to take a sock off (only one), spill something in the bathroom, and get her pant leg at the bottom wet with the puddle.  All while I was sleeping.  Fortunately, I woke up and put her back to bed and cleaned up the mess.  It didn't take that long, a bit longer than usual though.  She has new anxiety medicine now that I am going to give her at bed time.  I hope she sleeps through the night.

I am supposed to have Calli for a lesson today, her mom, Heather, wasn't feeling well yesterday so I will have to wait to see how she is doing today.  I hope better.  It's awful when you are the mom and sick.  At least, it seems awful to me, not being a mom or anything.

2 days until competition and our mini vacay!  I can't wait.  I hope Mom does well, she will be with Tilley while I am with my students.  I will definitely be bringing her medicine.  I think I am going to try to have her take a rest in the afternoon for about 1/2 hour every day now.  Maybe she won't be so tired all day that way.  I know I wouldn't mind a 1/2 hour nap every afternoon, some days I sure need it!  Well, gotta get some music for my Calli-girl!  Have a great afternoon!  We will be!

It was a good night for both of us.  I did call the doctor and got her slightly stronger anxiety meds but the store had to order it so I will pick it up tomorrow.  Mom went pretty much right into bed so I was able to go to sleep right away too, well as right away as I can get.  Pain is regular today, not too high or too much, just the normal.  I am a happy girl for the day.  I have 3 students, the usual Katie, Charlie, and Zack.  Katie is going to competition, she was over last night to rehearse the duet with Rachel, who is not so ready for competition.  It is this weekend.  Yup, that's what I said, this weekend.  I for one, am looking forward to room service!  We usually get room service Saturday night with ice cream for mom and tea for me, sometimes cheesecake.  I don't know what Tilley will want, but she can get something too!  That is the treat of the weekend for us.  I have let me kids know who are going but aren't staying over they can just use my room key for swimming.  I mean, it isn't like I am going to be in the pool.  I don't swim much or well and i don't really like it.  I used to like snorkeling, which, I know doesn't make much sense, but hey, I am a Heather and we don't always make sense.  

I have to call the agency today to make an appointment for mom to be put on the waiting list for Long Term Care in Windsor.  I figure if I make plans for both sides of the border, she will be covered!  Right?  I know I once said I wouldn't but now that it is actually getting closer and not in the abstract, I have to think what is best for Mom.  It is best for me that she stays here, monetarily speaking, but not best for her.  I figure in the next six months I will be placing her in LTC.  It will be so difficult to do, but I will buck up and do it.  She is really declining right now.  I hope she levels off, but with this disease, one never knows, do they.

Not much happening today other than some phone calls and teaching.  I miss working and the busy part it brings.  I talked to my friend's friend, who is a recruiter and asked her to keep me in mind if something comes up.  I hope she does, in about 6 months after mom is placed I will be able to go back to work.  Maybe i will have a studio then, maybe not.  The economy is just not really good right now so who knows.  I plan to continue teaching no matter what.  Even if it is just a few and part time.

I hope your day is good, ours is so far!

This is turning out to be a not so nice day for me.  It started early, at 6:30 am when Mom came in my room with wet pants and undies.  I am not sure what exactly happened, but this is the second time.  I think she forgets to take them down, maybe???  Anyways, I will be buying proper pads for her for this issue.  That would have been okay, I have been expecting an issue with this, but she wouldn't really go back to sleep.  That is a problem.  She went right to sleep last night.  The amount of meds really work well.  So yeah!  for that.  But after she went back into bed about 7ish am, she didn't sleep and got out of bed at 7:30, 8:00 and 8:30.  After that I didn't put her back to bed because I knew by then she wouldn't go to sleep.  I stayed in bed.  She kept calling my name as usual, but after about 8:30, she didn't do it as often as usual so I was able to doze while she was up.  The only problem was she put a pair of my pants on and put both legs in one of my legs and put it around her waist.  Now, yes, I am a big person, but I don't need my pants stretched out.  I hope they will go back into shape.  She also was wearing one of my shirts, the problem is, these are worn clothes that need to be washed.  So now I am going to have to hide my clothes when they are waiting to be washed.  Not happy about this new thing.  Not at all.

So of course, i have a headache and I am achy all over because I was so upset over the possible ruination of my clothes.  At least it was only a pair of sweats and not my good clothes, I would have really freaked over that.  She also keeps asking me if I am heather.  All in all, a crummy day.  

The bright spot of the day is that I have 4 lessons.  I hope everyone knows their music because today would not be the day not too.  Is it Friday yet????

I guess I am making up for not posting last night. I have to use Mom's computer until mine dies because it is frozen on sleep. Should be dead in a couple of days. Hopefully soon. I don't like to use Mom's computer. Not sure why, probably because it isn't mine.

I think right after competition next week I am going to start going through Mom's room. I'll start with one bag of junk or a box per couple of days so that it is spread out and won't cause extra pain. I hope once that is done, we can rearrange the rooms so that my bed and mom's bed are in the same room. Right now, there is just no room. I refuse to share a bed with her, as they are not big enough and with the amount of pain I am in, sharing is painful. She cries almost every night about being in her room alone. I think her friend, Jose, will help move the furniture, if not maybe some other friends will help. (Ones with the muscles, something I don't have) I am sure it will work out somehow. Tonight I am going to give her the same amount of unisom and the anxiety meds at the same time. We will head for bed around 9 pm, that seems to be a good time.

I am nervous about the weekend with the week we just had, however, I will be in the same room as she will be and so will Tilley so that should help. It will let me know if traveling is out of her range from now on. I kinda think this will be the last as she is declining rapidly. I wanted to visit Karlyn this spring with Mom, but now, I am not sure. We shall see. I hope she levels off again and stays there for a few months like she did at the beginning of the summer, but the last 6 weeks have me doubt that it will happen.

I hope that by the time Mom needs 24 hour care, I will be getting a job. I am anxious to work again. I don't like sitting around all day. I have a new student starting Wednesday, but she is a scholarship student - one - I have never taught a child who is visually impaired and two - I offered her lessons. I look at it as learning something new. She is a delightful child who is very musically talented.

I have four lessons tomorrow, I also must do some laundry for the weekend. Both Mom and I need our dressier clothes freshly washed (if they aren't already) and ready to be packed for competition. I can't wait until Friday when we arrive. I am looking at this as a bit of work among a vacation for Mom and I. I am glad Tilley is coming too because Mom freaks if she doesn't see me and I am afraid of her disrupting the competition, this way Tilley will be with her and she will be comfortable. Mom did pretty well at the concert but when I had to turn pages for Frank she got nervous because she didn't know where I was and I thought she was going to get up and start looking for me. Fortunately the song ended before she did that. At competition, when I am room captaining, she will not be able to sit with me and I will be up and down the whole time. So with Tilley there, that is a worry I don't have. Mom will be fine and not cause any problems and enjoy herself.

It has been an okay Valentine's Day despite the new phone need. I am still unhappy about it. I emailed those I could for their numbers, I heard from 4 of them. I hope to hear from Richard soon with his numbers. I will get my students this week as the week progresses. I hope not to get sick so I have to cancel before I get the numbers! I will write them down in the book as soon as I get it!

Have a great day! (or night, as it is about 8 pm right now here in Michigan!)

The concert went great! They all did really well. We raised about $200 so I was very happy about that. Debbie did a great job MCing the whole thing as well as performing.



I lost my phone last night, well, Mom lost the phone. She must have picked it up this morning and put it somewhere in her room. I looked all over for it, but I couldn't find it. I was really upset over this. A new phone is something we don't have money for but what can we do. I need a phone as that is the only one we have. Of course I didn't get insurance for it, since I have never lost a phone, but I did this time. I also am going to buy an address book so I can put all my phone numbers in it as everything was in my phone. Yup, wasn't that smart of me? Not one of my brightest moments.

Mom was okay last night, I didn't give her her anxiety meds with the unisom but I certainly will tonight. She has it rough when I don't do that. I will from now on as I know she can have a good night with that combination. The rest of what she does (wandering) is manageable if we both have a good night.

Pain isn't so bad despite me being totally ticked off, so I am impressed with the level. I had planned on taking mom to dinner for Valentine's day, but since I had to buy a new phone I won't be able to.

I hope your day is great! Have a good Valentine's Day!

Last night was a dream! Mom had a great night sleep. She stayed in the bed the first time I put her there. I did have to go into her room a couple of times to answer questions, but other than that, she went right to sleep. I am soooooo happy!!! I got some sleep. And, she didn't wake up in the middle of the night either! What an awesome night. Right now, she is a bit restless, but I am printing the concert program for this afternoon. I had it printed last night but somehow, 2 songs got removed from the list, so I have to re print. Just a second, I need to print the other side. Back in a flash!

Boy, I didn't realize I made a mistake on the cover, it accidentally went to two pages, Fixed that one in a jiffy! I can't wait until the concert. It will be small, but nothing I can do about that. 3 dropped out last night because Mom isn't feeling well. It will be fun even though they will be missed. I hope Debbie will have time after to go and get something to eat and maybe with Katie Parak and Kramer too. We shall see.

Hayley stopped by last night, she got here late because she was held up at the border. I know what that is like! It is a pain! Anyways, she arrived safely at my house so I was happy that she and Justice arrived. She showed me the stuff she ordered and boy was the stuff cute. I don't have any need for anything like that right now, but in the future, one never knows. She and Justice are on their way to Mexico! I hope they have a great trip. She needs the vacation and so does her daughter. Both are tired and having a very busy schedule.

Mom is doing well today. pain level isn't that high today and I am ready for the concert! I hope your day is going to be as good as mine!

We had the meeting with the social worker today. It went well, it lasted about 1 1/2 hours. There were so many questions. I cried at one point, didn't mean too, but I couldn't help it. I also found out that Mom's meds are probably off for her. So Monday I will call her doctor and make an appointment now that she has gone down in the last six weeks. Since Christmas there is such a change in her. If we get the meds right, she will be okay. It took 4 1/2 hours to get her to bed last night. It has been a week from hell with going to bed. Every night has taken so long at least 3 hours. I am keeping her up a little bit later tonight to see if that helps and I will change when I give her her meds. I hope for a better week next week, Mom does not see a screaming crazy daughter at night. I hope she doesn't remember me yelling at her. I also got more info on how to help her with her other issues, the usual ones, bathing, dressing, hallucinations, and stuff like that. I don't mind helping her with most of the stuff, I don't even mind that she is with me always, I do however, mind no sleep. That one has me stumped and makes me not happy. Wish me luck for tonight and hope the changes help.

Sunday is valentines day. I really wanted chocolate (trust me - I DON'T need it) so I gave Mom our chocolate heart kisses to open early. I told her she had to wait for the rest. She said "Okay."

Hayley will be stopping by on her way to vacation tonight with her daughter, Justice. She has some packages to pick up. I get excited when her packages are picked up because she always shows me the stuff she orders. She is a very talented crafter.

I hope your day is good and your evening better. Olympics start today! Yeah!

Today was knitting day, yup, and I forgot my knitting at home.  I was having a day, not a great one.  Last night was a starting off to be a bad one but then I went along with her fantasies and boom!  It worked!  She rolled over and went right to sleep.  Tried that this morning and it backfired on me.  She finally calmed down by the time we were finished with our Tim Horton's.  We went to Walmart after that to get our Valentine's Day stuff.  I got Mom a stuff bear that is pink and adorable!  I got her a card and we will share the candy kisses and hugs.  We both love those things.

Mom is not doing well now.  She is crying again and isn't really sure why.  Now she wants to go visiting people, but we did already today.  She finally stopped now.  I will play along with her fantasy of going home later tonight when we get ready for bed.  I hope it is easy!  I don't think I can handle another bad night.  We are getting up early tomorrow so that won't be a problem.  I have to adjust my morning schedule to get up earlier now, I am so not happy about that.

Pain level is high for the last few days because of extra stress.  I had to take an extra pain pill because of it.

We are watching Army Wives disc 3 now.  I love this show.  I hope your day is snow free and sunny because ours is sunny but definitely not snow free!

We rescheduled today's appointment for Friday.  I expected the roads to be worse than they are.  I should have not rescheduled because I definitely good have drove there.  Oh well, hind sight is 20/20, isn't it?  We are having a lazy day today, watching a marathon of Army Wives season 3, we are on disc 1, it is almost over, then on to disc 2.  There are about 5 or 6 discs.  I love this show.  Oh, and the series I ordered came in today too, Walker Texas Ranger seasons 6 & 7 and murder she wrote season 11.  We now have the entire walker series and all the murder she wrotes that are available.

This morning started off kinda tuff.  Mom was in a cycle starting at about 8:30 am and she got out of it, but these are so hard on me, they make me ache more than usual.  I think her medicine needs to be adjusted.  I am going to call her doctor tomorrow and see if she can up the amount Mom takes.  Maybe that will help.

I am planning Mom a birthday party.  I am sending an invitation to Richard, I hope he comes.  It would make Mom happy.  We haven't seen him in a year and a half.  I have the feeling he probably won't come, maybe at Easter.  As long as it is soon because Mom is going downhill and soon she won't remember any of us.  Out of sight, out of mind for her.  

Mom is doing okay right now.  I think I write more about her than I do living with fibromyalgia.  I think because I spend so much of my time taking care of her and doing things for her and with her that most of my life is spent on her.  She is tired today, more than usual, I think the morning cycle tired her out.  I will put her to bed early at about 8:30 pm or so.  I will try to put it off until 10 because there is a show I want to watch, maybe I will get to see it.  I hope so.  She is really tired.  We shall see.

I have to email Richard now, not sure I really expect an answer because he doesn't answer me very much anymore.  He doesn't answer my calls much either.  I just leave messages and he gets them and what he does with them I don't know.  I just know he rarely answers my calls and I want to talk to him.  It is hard knowing he is just too busy for me and Mom now.

Have a great day!

It's snowing outside right now.  We are supposed to get anywhere from 5 to 15 inches of snow.  We haven't had much this winter.  Not that I mind, it can be difficult with Mom in the snow.  She is kinda afraid of it now.  We do have to go to an appointment tomorrow so I hope the roads will be clear by the time we leave.  It does look really pretty outside with the snow falling down.  Winter wonderland.  I don't mind snow when I am inside!

I can laugh about this now, but last night was not so funny.  Mom took four hours to go to bed.  Yup, 4 hours.  She is sleeping in her chair right now because she is so tired from last night.  It didn't matter what I did, she wanted to go home.  I gave her more medicine and that didn't help.  I think she needs a stronger sedative for nighttime on nights like that.  When we first went into bed she was fine, but after the fourth time getting up she wasn't.  I must admit, I got very angry and upset over this.  I tried to stay calm but she kept wandering and wanting to call me on the phone so we could go home.  When she is like that there isn't anything I can do about it.  I tried.  I even tried to let her wander around on her own while I went into bed.  That didn't work.  I can't sleep while she is up like that.  I did try several times.  I even yelled at her that we were home.  She didn't get it.  I have no idea how other people deal with this, but I don't deal well with this issue at times.  I expect her to get up from bed a few times before she stays for the night, but this was ridicules.  Just ridicules.  I hate this disease who is taking my mom away from me.  This stranger in her place is not her.  During the day, she is mostly fine and knows who I am and who she is, but mornings and nights are not the best.  She is usually confused at both times of the day.  Not a good thing anymore.  I am getting to the end of my ropes with it.

Anyways, we shall see how the meeting tomorrow with the social worker goes, I have to bring a list of her medicines and I don't know what else.  I can't take anymore of this this week so I hope the rest of the week is fine.

I hope your day is going well and your not getting tons of snow like we are.