Mom is dehydrated again and this time at the home. The doctor saw her this morning and had them start an IV on her immediately. She was complaining about a sore throat on Saturday and Sunday but the doctor isn't there on the weekends so she had to wait until today to see him. The doctor also ordered blood tests for her because he doesn't like how she is looking. I am not surprised, she doesn't look good at all right now because of the dehydration. I am not sure if they will send her to the hospital or not, the nurse didn't know. When Mom comes home this weekend this episode should be over if it goes the same way the other episode did. 7 more days until she is home. I plan to carry a drink for her wherever we go no matter what we will be doing. I got my backpack out so that I fit an ensure in there when we go somewhere. I also have the little cooler in the back seat of the car for extra ensures if we are going somewhere for any length of time. I plan on trying to get her to drink every hour she is awake, even if it is only a sip. That will be better than nothing. She is in pain and I asked them to give her something for it, so I am hoping they did. Dehydration is very painful for her. It also gives her a bad headache which she had when I left for teaching. I will check on her tomorrow at lunch. I hope she will be doing much better.

I finished pinning Lily and Emily's dresses this afternoon. I am just waiting for them to come and try them on again so I can press them and then make the hems. I called and let them know it was done. Lily said probably on Saturday they will be here for the fitting. I said no problem! I can finish the dresses Saturday or Sunday and they will be ready in time for the wedding. Mom's problem has thrown a loop into my schedule, but that is okay, we still have time.

Bob had his lesson today and Calli should be here any minute. After that I plan to go grocery shopping as we are out of a few things. It will be weird going to Walmart without Mom but I will at least be able to go as fast as I want on the cart. That will be fun. I need to get a few things for the week and I plan to do the big shopping before Mom comes home so that she won't have to go with me.

Pain is higher today because of the extra stress worrying about Mom and her dehydration. I am just not happy this happened again so soon. She needs to be reminded all the time about drinking and they are just not doing it. I don't understand how anyone can expect a woman in stage 6 of Alzheimer's to remember to drink all by herself. She barely remembers about the bathroom all by herself. I will see her tomorrow and see how she is doing then. I will check on the tests they did on her today then too.

I hope this finds you doing much better than I am right now. Have a great day!!!!

here is one of the links of the week:

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/

8 more days! I can't wait. Almost a week away and Mom will be here, back where she belongs. I saw her for lunch and she was crying through most of it. The nurses assistant said it was a crying day for her. She cried through out breakfast too. She just wants to come home. She doesn't understand why she is not home or with me. The nurse assistant also said she couldn't understand why she was still so confused as the infection is getting better. I told her that the confusion isn't going to get better because Mom has Alzheimer's. She was surprised. She didn't know that. Now, why wouldn't the nurse assistants not know mom has Alzheimer's? Anyways, Mom's throat is bothering her again today so I told the nurse I wanted her looked at. So tomorrow morning the doctor will look at Mom's throat and ears. It may be just a cold coming on, or it could be dehydration as she drinks even less there than she does here, or at least from what I have seen. I can't wait until she gets home, I just can't wait. This has been so hard on the little Mom. I won't do this again to her that is for sure.

I will be working on the girls dresses after I finish up here. Emily and Lily need to have one more fitting before I cut and sew the hem of the dress. I will be pinning it in place this afternoon. Then I will message their dad and let him know so when the girls are available this week they can come for a fitting. Lily will need her shoes though. I want to make sure it is right. I should have done Emily's 3 weeks ago when I first got the dress but I didn't. I didn't anticipate that Mom would become ill and not have time to do the dress. I won't procrastinate like this again. I want to be finished pinning by dinner time. I have ordered the shoes I need for the wedding today. I meant to do that last month but I forgot. Sometimes my fibro fog is so annoying. I have known for months that I need new shoes, but I forget about it unless it is in the middle of the night or another time that is not convenient to order them. But I have them done now and that is what counts.

Pain is normal, surprising for such an upsetting day. I am upset today and hope I will feel better tomorrow. I think I will go to bed early tonight to make tomorrow come faster. I have 6 lessons tomorrow! How cool is that? I think it is pretty cool and I am excited about it. I hope this finds you doing well and having a great day.

9 more days until the little Mom comes home! I saw her for dinner today. She is looking rather tired and she said her throat was hurting her. I hope that is not a sign of dehydration again. Poor thing doesn't need another episode so soon after the first one. Although, if the doctor wants physical therapy for her again, they are doing it at home. She did say she doesn't like not being with me. I told her it was only for a few more days and she calms down but she is a bit more confused that usual. I think it is because she is really not sure where she is and doesn't understand where I am. She is probably in bed by now as she gets real tired about this time there. No afternoon nap like we have here at home for her. She doesn't make much sense some of the time when I visit her right now. I am hoping that clears up when we are home. I just can't wait until next weekend when she is discharged! I just can't wait. This week has gone by pretty quick which is a good thing and next week promises to be a bit busy too. Thank God for that! I don't like having too much time on my hands when I am waiting for something. I have almost finished all 6 books that I bought Tuesday or Wednesday. I will get more on Monday. I will be bringing some old ones that I don't want anymore back for trade. It makes the books cheaper to buy.

It has been a good day despite no mom here. I took a wee nap after Lily's lesson today. We had Lily's fitting for her today. I pinned her one strap and the top will be okay with the tighter strap, it straightens it out nicely. She should have her shoes this week. Speaking of shoes, I actually need to look at the catalog and order some because I don't have any for the wedding. I don't have any dress shoes and I don't want to wear tennis shoes, they are so not appropriate for a wedding (or any other place where dress shoes are expected) I have very wide feet unfortunately so I have to order my shoes special. I will be looking on the website tonight and ordering them. I hate shopping for shoes, well, I actually hate shopping in general, not just for shoes.

Lily's lesson went well. She finished up 2 songs and will start 2 more next week, possibly, depending on how much time we need to spend on her audition material. She is trying out for summer music theatre class. The musical they are doing is Aida. I love Aida. It is an amazing musical and the music!!!! Oh, it is the best. The music is written by Elton John and the lyrics by Tim Rice and they did a wonderful job. I have the CD somewhere. I haven't seen it since I closed the store, although I know it came home with me, I just don't know which box it is in. I haven't heard any school doing that play yet though. We will have to get tickets right away when they go on sale. Mom really liked the play too. She just loved it and we would listen to the soundtrack in my car when we would go places. Musicals are one of the things Mom and I have in common, one of many. We have many of the same tastes in a lot of things, it is quite scary, my brothers used to tease me and say Mom and I were one person. Really, we aren't, we are two separate people with very similar tastes. I can't wait to see Lily in her first musical. She will be so cute. Of course, it isn't like I am biased or anything, nah, not at all! I don't just think she is an amazing young person, which of course, you know I do think she is pretty amazing. It is wonderful to watch her grow. I have been lucky, I have been able to be a part of some pretty fantastic kids along the way with teaching. One of them should be in Seattle right now. I just realized that. Debbie should be there. I can't wait to hear how her trip went! She was planning some nifty stops along the way.

Pain is normal for the day including the arm and head for a change. I would venture a guess that if my blood pressure was taken now, it would be my normal, low and not high like on Thursday. I am calmly reading, sewing, watching a bit of TV, laundry, and some other light household chores this weekend, unlike all last week and the week before where I was a bit upset. I am calm now. I am used to this with Mom not being here and am calmly counting down the days until she is home.

I hope this finds you doing really well, enjoying your weekend and your family. Family makes everything great, at least mine does!

Mom is doing alright. She didn't really cry to much when I was there this evening. She barely ate dinner though and passed up a snack at bedtime. Usually after dinner she falls asleep so they change her and put her into bed. I stayed for a couple of hours today. Mom was in better spirits so I think her infection must be clearing up. She is still a bit more confused than usual because of the infection, but that is normal for this situation. I am counting down the days until she comes home. I think I write that every night. Hmm, maybe I should stop doing that. I am getting calmer and calmer over this situation. I am sleeping a bit better now than I was last week. One more week, just one more week, that is what I keep telling myself. My pain level hasn't come completely back to normal yet, but I figure by the end of the week it should. My head isn't too bad, but it is more than the normal pain I have. My arm was a bit sore last night and this morning, but now it has calmed down.

I haven't cleared the table yet nor have I started Emily's dress. I will be working on the dress this weekend. I need help getting the sewing machine out of the trunk and I am sure Ross will do it for me tomorrow. I will get all my tools out tomorrow after I swiffer the floor. I don't want the floor dirty in case the dress accidentally reaches it. I don't remember how full the dress it and I don't want any dirt on it. I plan to do the dress in the afternoon before I go to help with Mom's dinner. I'd bring her a donut, but she didn't eat the last two I brought her. Oh yeah, speaking of food, the are switching Mom to pureed food because at lunch she spit out all the food that wasn't pureed. I guess she just couldn't swallow it then. She ate her little carrots okay and the couple of bits of pizza but she scarfed down the mashed potatoes. She loves potatoes, just loves them.

I may go to a movie on Sunday. Not really sure yet, but I might. I don't have anything else to do on Sunday except perhaps a movie. I am going to see what Katie is up too this weekend. I haven't seen her in forever it seems. Wednesday, I am meeting my friend, Wendy for tea at Tim Horton's after I am finished with Mom's lunch. We are meeting at 1:30. It should be so much fun.

I know have finished 5 out of the 6 used books I bought. I may have to take a quick run tomorrow for some more. I haven't been to the storage unit yet to check what books are there. If it doesn't rain Sunday, I will go. I need something to read for next week, the last week before Momma comes home.

It is raining out now. It was pretty nice most of the day, it is a bit cooler but still in the mid 70's, so it was nice weather out, before the rain I mean. It started about 5 minutes before I left from visiting Mom. I was going to leave a few minutes before I did, but I was chatting with Mom and didn't realize the time. She was starting to fall asleep. Silly me to get caught in the rain. At least the downpour (the 5 whole minute downpour) was mostly over so I didn't get soaked.

I hope this finds you doing well and not getting totally soaked in the rain!

new interesting website for us fibro type people!!!

www.healthmattersshow.com

check it out! thanks!

I haven't seen Mom today, I had a doctor appointment and I have a lesson so I won't make any meals with her today. I did speak to the social worker. She called to give me an update on Mom. She is making progress with her physical and occupational therapy, so yeah! to Mom on that one. She also checked into why Mom cries, apparently she cries when I am there. So now what do I do? I can't not visit her, but I make her cry when I do because when I am not there she doesn't think about coming home anymore. She is used to there now. I won't be able to see her today because of my schedule, however I am planning to see her for dinner tomorrow. I will also find out then how her infection is coming along. I know the doctor ordered more blood work yesterday about this issue. My blood pressure was a bit high at the doctors today. I explained why I was so stressed, she said to try and relax about that whole thing. Easier said than done that is for sure. Also, I gained the 2 pounds I had lost. Yuck on that. My weight is going in the wrong direction again. I will do something about that. I am counting down the days until Mom is here with me. I miss her. I am trying to enjoy my time away from her, but it is hard as I take care of her all day everyday. There are some things I don't miss though, I will freely admit that. I don't miss helping her with the bathroom and getting ready for the day or the night. That I don't miss. I miss her during the daytime, you know, how she is during the day. That is what I miss. I don't miss the work part of it at all. I did enjoy telling the nurse assistant that Mom had to go to the bathroom and I didn't have to help with it! It was a relief not to do that. But, still, I do miss her a lot. I am getting used to being on my own and today, to my relief, I found that I am not lonely. I was the last week and the first part of this week. I am enjoying being on my own today. So yeah! for me! I have a link to look at later today after my lesson about a dog. I haven't decided that yet, I need to inspect our house a bit more to see if it is dog or cat ready. I think a pet would be good for me and Mom. She loves animals, but is sometimes afraid of bigger dogs than the smaller ones. I think it would be good therapy for her, but I need to inspect our house and check our funds to see we will be okay.

I talked to Richard, the big brother!, yesterday. I was so excited when he answered the phone. He is going to come and visit us before July after Mom comes home. She will be pleased to see him. I told him she knows who he is and everything, so I think he is happy about that. He is imagining a time when she won't know who he is. I think this last episode with Mom and the hospital had him thinking about her a lot. I told him flat out that last Wednesday when I called him I thought she was dying. Now she isn't. I gave him the scoop on her. He said he would call this weekend, I won't hold my breath because he is very busy but I would love to talk more with him! I haven't been able to get a hold of Andrew, the little brother, yet. I gave up trying. He is just too difficult to get a hold of. I spoke with Richard about what I needed to talk to him about and we made the decision for mom. I tried my hardest with Andrew but he will just have to respect the decision we made. I know he will. Mom comes home in 11 days. I am counting them. I have 11 more peaceful filled days in the Paxton residence before the chaos begins again!

I am looking forward for the rest of the week's lessons and sewing. I haven't been to sewing in 3 weeks. I will be working on Emily's dress this evening after dinner and Frank's lesson. She should be ready for her last fitting on Saturday or early next week, which ever fits the busy girl's schedule. I will also be starting Lily's dress next week so both will be done in time for the wedding even with the craziness of the schedule of visiting Mom.

Pain is back to the normal including the arm and head today. I am a bit more tired than usual as I couldn't sleep last night, don't really know why. I wasn't in more pain than usual, but I did get up a bit earlier than normal because of the doctor appointment and the few errands I had to run before the appointment. I will be heading for bed a bit early I think tonight. I am enjoying reading and working on the computer. I hope this finds you doing well.

So I found out part of the reason Mom is so teary-eyed. Her urinary tract infection is still really bad. They can't seem to get it under control so that is making her emotions go a little wacky. I was glad to discover that because I was about to take her home because she was so miserable. Well, I can't because she needs the medicine and the watchful eye of nurses 24/7 until this thing is cleared up. She cried a bit during lunch because she thought she was getting her shirt dirty with food. I quickly pointed out that she had an apron (okay - a bib) on and she didn't get any food on that either. Then she said, Oh, okay and was fine. The nurse also said she isn't eating much either because she just isn't feeling well. She ate even less today that yesterday. I am now fine with where she is because I know if they don't get it under control they will send her back to Beaumont for further medicines and doctors and such. I hope the tests they do today will be better and she some improvement. Poor thing, she doesn't need this on top of everything else. She is doing fine during physical therapy, yes, they sometimes have to convince her to go. But she will go and then she is fine. She is very tired but I don't think as tired as she was yesterday or the day before. She hasn't also said that her eyes are sore which is a good sign that she is getting some sleep. I still miss her but seeing her everyday is a big help. I am starting to enjoy the peace and quiet around here. I still haven't done everything I said I would do while she is gone, but there is still 12 days left to this. I have been reading a bit more, although I do read with Mom here. She reads her books and I read mine. It is nice quiet time for us.

My friend, Heather, has suggested perhaps I look into getting a dog or a cat. It sounds like a pretty good idea. I will be thinking about that while Mom is temporarily away. It would be good company for both of us, especially when I am by myself. My only real concern right now is that our house isn't exactly where I want it to be, organized-wise. There are still rooms that need to be uncluttered. I will pray about it and think some more.

I am not so stressed now that I know the infection is causing Mom so much emotional ups and downs. I know that some of the tears are because she misses me, but not all of them and she is doing pretty well. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment right before lunch so I won't be able to see her for lunch. I have a lesson right before dinner, so it is iffy if I make it to her dinner. We shall see tomorrow, lunch is definitely out, but not possibly dinner. I plan to visit her sometime tomorrow. Friday is sewing and I am so looking forward to that! It has been 3 weeks since we did sewing and the girls are almost done.

Calli had her lesson today. She is doing so well. She finished learning a song and is learning a new one. I love listening to her play. Her brother, Acer, was here too. He hasn't been to a lesson in a few weeks, although I see him for knitting, I miss the little guy when he isn't here for Calli's lesson. He likes to play with the violins. Heather brought up the dulcimer for him to play with today too. I love how both kids love music and all different instruments. It is so fun to watch and listen. Bob had his lesson today too. He is almost done with one of his songs. His music is so much more complicated now that it takes weeks to learn it and polish it up. He made a few mistakes as he played today, but he knows where they are and will have them fixed by next week. We are also doing a bit of jazz exercises for him too. They are so fun.

Pain is not as high as yesterday, although I do still more of a headache than usual. Kind of annoying, but what can you do? It rained mostly today, which is probably what caused the bigger headache, that and the extra stress. I have just come to the conclusion that I am a control freak when it comes to care with my mother. I have to be in charge and it is hard for me not to be in charge. I am working on that fault and am praying about it a lot this week. I am working on letting it go and let others take care of her. She is in a good place so it isn't like I have to worry about that. They are very well cared for. I just like to be in charge and that is it.

I hope this finds you doing well and having some sunshine!!!!!!

I haven't posted this in a few weeks. Sorry, please check it out. the new online magazine of the national fibromyaglia association!

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/

Happy June everyone!

Mom is having a sad day today. Apparently she cried through her physical therapy session this morning. She worked out on the machines and did exercises this morning. I was glad to hear that. Made me feel much better than yesterday about my decision to place her temporarily. She has occupational therapy this evening. She ate pretty well for her at lunch. I encouraged her to feed herself and she did do it through most of it. I only fed her a bit when I knew she could fit a bit more in. She did pretty well by herself, so yes, she still has that skill! Yeah! She hasn't forgotten how to eat. I got there before she was finished with therapy so I waited in the lounge for her. She gave me a big smile when she saw me. I knew then she was having a crying day. She has them here at home too, it is just part of the disease, a non-pleasant part, but a part of it. When Mom forgets something she thinks she should know she cries. I am used to it by now. Her anxiety medicine has helped with the tears too, she doesn't cry as much as she used to. I messaged my cousin, Cathy, through face book yesterday and she gave me some suggestions on what to do. Since Mom had a full session of physical therapy today, I am happier with the nursing center. They are very nice there and the staff is caring, it just isn't home to Mom. She didn't ask to come home today so that is a step in the right direction. I let her know that in 12 days she was coming home and she smiled. I only stayed about an hour because after her big morning and lunch she was tired. I wanted her to get some sleep before her occupational therapy session this afternoon. I don't know what type of things they do but it helps her and that is what counts.

I went to the used bookstore after I left Mom, I got 6 new (well, used) books by my favorite authors. I donated about 17 boxes of books 2 summers ago and have been sad I did that ever since because now I have the time to read. I am not feeling really well today. My head and tummy aren't happy campers, but I took medicine and will rest in the living room before my wonderful lessons. I have 2 this afternoon. I can't wait. Without Mom here, I live for teaching. 12 days and counting!

It is really nice out, after my lessons I am going to put my scooter together and go for a scoot. Then when I get home I will charge it because it will probably need it. At least now the automatic garage door opener works. We got that situation fixed last fall and by end of summer, my lovely, little car will be in the garage for the winter!!!!! How cool is that?? She has never been in the garage since I got her in December of 2006, but by then she will be. No more uncovering the little girl of snow! yeah! I am a bit excited about this. The garage will be emptied! I can't wait.

I hope this finds you having a good day and enjoying the nice weather outside!

I made it just in time for lunch. I was able to help them by feeding Mom. They have several nurse assistants that help with that, but they have to pass out the trays first so I just sailed right in and started serving Mom. Mom smiled when I got there. She was asking for help. The nurse assistant said she really appreciated my coming and helping her. I plan to be there everyday except Friday for lunch, Fridays, I will be there for dinner. This will help them a bit and Mom and I can do some bonding over feeding her. She never was really fed until she went into the hospital. don't know what I will do when we are here at home. I may continue feeding her or just helping when she needs it. She can feed herself, it has just been a week since she has done it herself. I think she forgot she can do it. They also have her in a wheelchair when she goes into the dining room. She can walk. I know she is weak, but she can walk. I am worried what 2 more weeks of a wheelchair is going to do to her muscles. Did I make the right decision? I just don't know now. She could feed herself and walk before I took her to the hospital, does this mean she can't anymore? I mean, she could go up and down stairs too. What is going to happen about that? I am really nervous about her coming home now. I want her walking more in the home, she can walk. I told the physical therapist that too. I don't need her coming home weaker than she already is, she needs to be strong. That was the only reason I agreed to this. Also, they just left water by her bed. A lot of good that is going to do. She needs to be reminded to take a drink. That is what I do, only now I will do it every hour and I will have her drink with me all the time so even when we are out, I will have a drink for her. Right now, she can barely hold a cup to drink. I had to hold it up to her. What has this past week done to my mom?

I also think I am in more pain than normal because it is more stressing for me to have her away from me than with me. I know it would seem the opposite, but it isn't. It is much more stress to have her placed for 2 weeks than spending the 2 weeks with her. I did talk to the physical therapist and told her what she wanted to know. How our house is laid out, are there stairs, where is her room, does she walk by herself or with a walker, etc. Those type of questions. She tried to ask Mom, but she couldn't answer. I did hear the phone at 7:56 this morning, I just couldn't get to it in time. Fortunately, she called back around 10 am and I answered this time. I am moving the phone to be closer to me at night in case I get a phone call concerning Mom. I will be setting my alarm to get up at 10:30 all this week and next so that I can be at the nursing center for lunch to help out with Mom. It worked really well today. I fed Mom, we went on the patio, Mom started falling asleep, and then we went back in and the assistant put her in bed. I left about 1:30 pm because she was almost asleep. Perfect timing. That way, she may not get as upset as she can. They said she did cry a couple of times this morning, but nothing major. If she starts getting too upset, I will bring her home, simple as that. She has been away from me for over a week and she doesn't like it. She hasn't called for me yet, although at lunch she said her daughter would help and then I arrived. Perfect timing for that one.

My arm is pretty sore today so is my head. I forgot to take my morning meds so I am going to take them in a few minutes. It looks like it is about the thunderstorm. Fun. Just what we need, well, we do need the rain. Our lawn is looking peaked and brown. I am glad I am home for the rest of the day in case it does rain. I am going to read a bit and then work on Emily's dress. I want it all pinned so she can come and try it on one more time to make sure it is okay. In about 1 1/2 weeks I will work on Lily's. They both look so grown up in these dresses, especially Lily. She is only 12. I'd like her to stay that way for a while. I don't want her to grow up too fast, she already has in some ways.

I hope this finds you doing well. Enjoy your Memorial Day.