Thursday brrrr

It isn't as cold as it was, but it is still cold.  I do stay warm with my hat and scarf on with my coat.  I have a wonderful warm blue scarf and my hat is old (at least 10 years if not longer) but it is warm.  I just love my hat.  I have mittens that go with them but I don't know where they are.  I had Mom wearing them over her gloves last year to keep her little hands warm.  They were always so cold.

I had no lessons planned for the day.  I can't wait until I teach almost everyday again.  I so look forward to that.  I am confident that by spring I will have enough students to be okay.  It is in God's hands and he has never let me down yet, so I don't expect that to happen anytime soon.

I have the space heater on again.  It really helps and I don't have to heat the entire house, it just warms me up in the dining room.  It sits on the kitchen counter.  I make sure there is no paper around and that it is a safe distance from anything that is flammable.  I do take safety very seriously.

I went to Walmart today.  I needed to get a new fire alarm.  Ours is no longer working now.  So off I went to get a new one.  I got a first alert one, it was a bit expensive, but I was told it is a good one.  I don't mind paying a bit more for something that will work and protect me.  I am afraid of fire.

I also picked up a few turtlenecks as I don't have any.  I saw the cutest hoodies.  Disney ones.  They were not too expensive so I picked up 3 for me.  A gray one that has Grumpy on it, a white one with Tinkerbell, and the last is red with Mickey on it.  The Pooh Bear ones didn't have my size.  I was so bummed but as I have several fleece type jackets that have Pooh Bear on it, I don't think I really am missing anything.  But I am excited about them.  I have Grumpy on right now.

We are expected to have a bit of snow tomorrow.  Not too much, but some.  Supposedly by Sunday we are getting more.  Ugh, white stuff here it comes.  It is supposed to be very cold next week with wind chills that will make it seem even colder.  I am all set as far as most groceries for the next couple of weeks.  I bought some meats today that I plan to cook and then split up for more than one dinner.  It is cheaper than the stuff I was buying and you get more than 1 meal out of the meats.  I expect to get 3 to 4 out of the roasts I bought.  I bought 2 turkey drumsticks (love those!!!), a rump roast, a pork roast, and a small 1/2 of a ham that is already sliced.  I have plenty of soups and I made enough chili tonight for another night.  I am ready to be in the house a lot for the next few days, not need to go out except for my usual.  Gotta have my Tim Horton's.  I like to go because it gets me out of the house and I often run into friends there.  When I do, we have good visits.  I miss going there with Mom and at first I didn't go very much because I missed her so much.  Sometimes I go through drive through when I don't feel like getting out of the car and going in.  I usually read while I am eating.  Right now I am reading the Harry Potter Series again.  I am on book 4, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  I am about 1/2 way through.  I love these books.  I just haven't really gotten into other books right now.  I tried, but I just can't so I chose to read something I already I knew I loved the book.  It is comforting to read them again.  Plus it gets me ready for the movie again.  I don't know if I will see it in the movie theatre or wait for DVD, either way I will end up with it on DVD.  I plan to reread the Twilight books when I done with Harry, maybe then I will be able to read other things and find the joy in them again.  Right now, I have joy sometimes, but the sadness is still there a lot.  It isn't as bad as it was when Mom passed away, but it is still there.  I do find I can get lost in the Harry Potter books and that is nice.  For a while the hurt goes away.  I know this first year will be hard, but with family and friends, I will get through.  I am very blessed despite losing my Mom, to have the family and friends that I have.

Pain isn't too bad considering how cold it is.  My headache is a bit worse than normal, but it is to be expected because of the cold.  My one friend, Donna, is not doing very well with the cold at all.  I feel so bad for her.  She is in just so much pain and there isn't anything I can do about it.  I do hope to see her when it warms up a bit.

I do hope you had a good day.  If you are expecting snow, I hope it isn't a lot!

It is cold outside!

I am not ready for this winter.  The only good thing I can say about it is that I don't have to try to keep Mom warm as she froze even in the summer.  Poor little lady was dreading winter, and I was along with her because keeping her warm was very hard.  I did my best though and generally I was able to keep her warm.  I just piled clothes and hoodies on her.  We even had a couple of sets of long underwear on her last winter.  We had underarmour brand and the regular type too.

I only had 1 student tonight because Alyssa went home sick from school.  Poor kid.  Tough to be sick this close to the Holidays.  I received my first Christmas present today from Dawson.  An awesome piano ornament.  It is in the shape of a baby grand piano.  Simply wonderful.  I have to wrap my students presents because I haven't done that yet.

I am waiting for big brother, Richard to call me back.  I took William and Abigail's gift to the UPS store to ship, well, they are now in my trunk because it will cost about $300 to ship them.  Yeah, that is a lot.  Richard and Jennifer have to talk about this because Richard is going to reimburse me for the shipping.  I don't really have the money for shipping so he would need to send it to me in order to send them to the kids.  I, of course, am hoping that this will sway them to be going this way for the vacation!  I know, I know, I am wishing, but hey, isn't this the season wishes come true?  I can only hope, but I do have a back up plan.  I have told my students that I am teaching during vacation because I am not going out west.  So far, pretty much all of them want lessons.  How cool is that?  Pretty cool if you ask me.  I would rather teach than sit around and do nothing.  I have to pick up Richard and Jennifer's gift certificates this week so I can send them to them.  I also need to get 1 more present.  I know what I am getting this special young person, I just haven't picked it up yet.

I am cold tonight.  Just a minute, I am going to plug in the space heater.  I am freezing.  Ah, that is better.  I bought it last year to help keep Mom warmer.  It helped a lot and was cheaper than turning up the heat because the gas was very expensive where as the electricity wasn't too bad.  It is just a small thing that sits on the kitchen counter.  I have it pointed right at me.  Helps to keep me warm!  I have noticed this year that I am colder than usual.  I don't know if that is a sign that my blood is a problem or what, but whatever the reason, I am colder than usual.  Could be also that we dropped down fast this year instead of taking it slowly down.  We are in temperatures we usually see in January and February, not now in December.

I am tired tonight.  I had a hard time getting up this morning, but I notice I am waking up earlier than usual and getting tired earlier.  Doesn't matter, my schedule is so open most of the time that rare do I need to get up at a certain time.

I met up with my friend, Wendy today at Tim Horton's.  We had a really time catching up.  We talked for just over an hour and it was fun.  I enjoy meeting with her.  I like hearing about her children, husband, and family in general.  It is so nice that we can do this every so often.  She came to the viewing of Mom in October.  I really appreciated it.  She was there for a long time sitting next to me, I so needed a friend to sit with me as that was one of the worst days of my life.  The first worst day was the day Mom died, the 2nd worst day was the viewing, the 3rd worst day was her funeral, and the 4th worst day was her burial.  So Wendy, along with many other friends and family were there to let me know I wasn't alone.  Richard was there too and so was Andrew.  All in all, Wendy and I had a nice visit and enjoyed catching up with each other.  She is truly one of the nicest people I know.  I only wish I had known her better when we were young.  I have several friends I feel that way about.  However, I am glad that I have known Kathy since we were 3.  Next year, in 2011 I will have known Kathy for 40 years.  Seems impossible at times, but it is true, I have known her that long.  She knows me so well that she can tell it is me when I am crying so hard when I call.  I don't know many others that can do that.  Well, Richard can too.  I have done that.  Thought I was okay to call, but once they say hi, I lose it.  Can't even say hi.  I haven't done that in a while though, which is good.  I try not to.



I hope today has been good for you too.  Pain level is normal, nothing out of the ordinary which is surprising since it is so cold out.  I hope your pain level is low today and that you are enjoying the joy of the season.

I was listed

I was listed as a top 50 blogs for Fibromyalgia.  Talk about being excited?  I was thrilled and humbled.  I mean, what an honor, to have my blog recommended for someone with Fibro to read.  I am so thankful for this.  A couple of friends were also recommended, my friend, Deb, and my friend, Missy.  They have awesome blogs too.

It was a good day today, busy wise, not pain wise.  Because it is so cold, I am in more pain that normal, but that is to be expected, at least I took my morning medicine before I left.  I met my friend, Jennie for lunch.  We live about 1 1/2 or so hours away from each other so we met 1/2 way at Applebees.  It was so fun.  We had 2 hours to chat and laugh.  It has been about 20 years since I saw her.  I think we were both in college when I last saw her.  Amazing.  She is now the mother of four.  Her last child was born almost 2 years ago.  Her oldest three are about 5 and 7 years older than the youngest.  They simply adore the littlest one.

After I came home I went to check my schedule for tomorrow when I realized, oh my, I scheduled 2 things at the same time.  I immediately called Hospice and rescheduled the meeting with them.  I think I realized it last night, but I forgot again this morning.  Silly fibro fog!  Thankfully I looked at my schedule and took care of it.  I have the meeting on Monday now at 11 am.  I am meeting with a grief support person.  I think it will help me get through this.  Maybe there is some tools I can learn to help when I get overwhelmed by all this.  I have been doing alright this week, of course, it is only Tuesday!

I had one student today.  Dawson rescheduled to tomorrow right before Alyssa's lesson.  His sister and Dad are not feeling to well so he is coming tomorrow.  He was ill last week so it has been 2 weeks since I have last seen him.  He told his Mom he needs a lesson because he wants to start the new books.  It is always exciting to start new books, that I would agree.  I always was excited about new books too.  I think we are going to play a Christmas one for fun.  I just have pull it out tomorrow.  I will do that before the lessons.  I also plan to send Abigail's and William's presents to them.  I wonder how much it will cost?  Hard to say with a cello and a guitar.  I can't wait until they open it at Christmas.  I want to see their faces when they open them up, but I won't be there.  Too bad.  I would really want a picture of their faces.  They are so precious.  I can't believe how old they are now, 9 and 11.  Seems like yesterday they were just born.  I remember both so vividly.  I saw Abigail just hours after she was born and William the day after he was born.  They are so wonderful to me.  I wish I saw them on a regular basis.  I miss them a lot.  Mom missed them too because we hadn't seen them in 2 1/2 years.  That is just so long for Mom not to see them, but they do live very far away and we didn't have the money to see them.

I just talked to Richard, they won't be coming to Michigan for their vacation.  Bummer, but that is okay.  I already told my students I will be teaching so it works out alright.  I am a bit disappointed, but not too much like I was.  I do have plans so that is good.

I am heading for bed shortly, I am very tired.  I hope your day has been good.

I've been included in this article

I have been included in the following article.  I will put the link to it.  Isn't it cool???

 http://www.mastersinhealthcare.com/blog/2010/50-great-blogs-for-fibromyalgia-support/ 

50 Great Blogs for Fibromyalgia Support

Roughly 2% of Americans suffer from fibromyalgia, mostly women. The serious, chronic condition causes severe pain in muscles, ligaments, tendons and joints — frequently with only the slightest of stimuli — and sometimes crops up alongside other diagnoses such as irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, myofascial pain syndrome and many more. Many patients also experience cognitive issues known as "fibrofog" or "brainfog," which (in conjunction with the pain) heightens their risk of depression and anxiety issues. But those experiencing the illness as well as similar and/or comorbid illnesses do not have to wrestle the torment in silence. Support groups exist both online and off, and many have bravely taken to the internet to blog about their journeys through fibromyalgia in order to shed light on the oft-misunderstood condition. When seeking comfort and information on healthily coping with the harsh reality, make an effort to stop by these resources. They offer up almost everything a patient needs, though the research does not take the place of professional medical advice.

   1.

      Fibro Blog: Presented by the National Fibromyalgia Association, the Fibro Blog provides pretty much everything anyone could ever want or need on the subject at hand.

   2.

      Deb’s Fibromyalgia Blog: Debbie Vermilyea started her blog as a means of chronicling her experiences with fibromyalgia with the hopes of reaching out to other patients and their friends and family.

   3.

      Life and Fibromyalgia: Read one sufferer’s perspective on forging the most comfortable, productive life possible in spite of fibromyalgia and arthritis.

   4.

      Strangely Peculiar: This resource openly discusses depression, chronic pain and fibromyalgia, but provides plenty of cathartic humor as well.

   5.

      Fibromyalgia: Anyone diagnosed with the condition — in addition to their friends and family, of course — will certainly appreciate the detailed information and solidarity found here.

   6.

      FibromyWHAT?: Stop by here for support and information on spreading fibromyalgia awareness in the United States and beyond.

   7.

      Fibromyalgia & CFS Blog: Adrienne Dellwo heads up About.com’s highly educational blog and website on fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.

   8.

      ButYouDontLookSick.com: Anyone suffering from a chronic illness — including fibromyalgia — should check out this highly supportive blog and community to discuss their lives, pain and treatment options.

   9.

      ChronicBabe.com: Another excellent blog, community, and general resource on chronic conditions, this time targeting women suffering from fibromyalgia, anxiety, Raynaud’s, asthma and many, many more.

  10.

      Fibro World: Step into the life of a mother and daughter team as they grapple with the latter’s fibromyalgia, neuralgia, migraines and chronic pain.

  11.

      Shira’s Fibro Fun: Most of the postings here come courtesy of YouTube and discuss a wide variety of fibromyalgia-related topics.

  12.

      The invisible disease, the journey of a fibromyalgia fighter: Follow one family’s progress as their mother grapples against the pain of fibromyalgia and pick up some incredible links and advice along the way.

  13.

      Health Matters Show: Tune in to Cinda Crawford’s podcast, blog and website for the latest news, views and advice on chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.

  14.

      Counting My Spoons: This blog provides an amazing amount of both research and personal insight, making it a must-bookmark resource.

  15.

      Chronic Pain and Ramblings: After receiving a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, chronic myofascial pain and other conditions, Amanda Lasko turned her attention towards crafts.

  16.

      Fibro and Fabulous: It may not update as often as some of the others on this list, but Fibro and Fabulous proves that those with chronic conditions can still live happily and productively.

  17.

      How To Cope With Pain Blog: Many fibromyalgia patients turn towards this general blog by a psychiatrist for information on dealing with their perpetual physical torment both mentally and with medication.

  18.

      Fibromyalgia…from possible diagnosis of fibro to life beyond…: Since 2003, this blog has provided readers with a running commentary on life with fibromyalgia as well as the latest news and resources. Definitely a must-read for patients, friends and family.

  19.

      The Fibromyalgia Experiment: One 28-year-old opens up about her fibromyalgia, how it impacts her career and the steps she takes towards caring for financial and medical needs.

  20.

      Felicia Fibro: Pop by this blog for recipes, resources, and plenty of encouragement for fibromyalgia patients and their loved ones.

  21.

      Pain and Fibromyalgia: Most of the information offered here revolves around dealing with the chronic pain associated with the condition.

  22.

      Graceful Agony: Considered one of the best health and chronic illness blogs on the web, Graceful Agony comes packed with an excellent archive overflowing with valuable, relevant information.

  23.

      Lila Lost in the Fibro Fog: Give this blog a visit when looking for someone who utterly understands the challenges faced by fibromyalgia patients.

  24.

      Oh My Aches and Pains: Cancer, hepatitis C, fibromyalgia, diabetes, chronic fatigue and more collide into one very valuable pain management resource.

  25.

      4 Walls and a View: Not all of the entries here deal with fibromyalgia, but Dominique Small provides plenty of inspiration for anyone seeking support.

  26.

      Seeking Equilibrium: Rosemary Lee takes a humorous approach to existence and her condition, which seems to make her painful life that much easier to bear.

  27.

      Transform Your Chronic Life: Give this blog a visit when looking for information on alleviating the pain from and coping with fibromyalgia, depression, bipolar disorder, IDI and other chronic conditions.

  28.

      Blog & News at Fibromyalgia & Fatigue Centers Incorporated: This detailed resource peers into fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue from both a research and a highly personal perspective, with plenty of relatable patient stories to explore.

  29.

      Fibromyalgia — Online Support Group: The blog may not update often, but anyone suffering from fibromyalgia will greatly benefit from joining this support group and exchanging encouragement and advice with others.

  30.

      Chronic Connection: In spite of its sporadic posting schedule, many fibromyalgia patients still turn to Chronic Connection for support, coping and treatment tips and a few laughs.

  31.

      Una Vita Bella: Chronic pain and illness understandably leads to severe depression issues, and this brave blogger’s stories helps readers realize they aren’t always as alone as they feel.

  32.

      Sherlock’s Stuff: With a plethora of chronic conditions — including fibromyalgia — to contend with, one writer must take her personal and professional life one day at a time.

  33.

      My Foggy Brain: Updates may come at a slower pace than some of the other blogs listed here, but many fibromyalgia sufferers still turn to it for support and advice.

  34.

      Fibromyalgia Group Diaries: A plethora of patients keep a collective blog as a means of coping with the various physical and mental issues associated with fibromyalgia.

  35.

      Mo is blogging…I think: Maureen Kaech suffers from more than just fibromyalgia, so anyone seeking solace when it comes to dealing with it on top of other conditions will find her writings of particular interest.

  36.

      HAVING A LIFE — Sex, Relationships and a Chronic Illness: As the title states, just because one suffers from a chronic condition such as fibromyalgia doesn’t mean he or she cannot enjoy sex and relationships — it just takes some adjustments.

  37.

      A New Kind of Normal: Whether suffering from fibromyalgia, endometriosis, Celiac or some other chronically painful condition, Jamee at A New Kind of Normal offers up some incredibly inspiring stories to hopefully make life a little easier.

  38.

      Fibromyalgia — You’re Not Alone: This online support group does feature its own communal blog, but the entire (moderately active) community is worth exploring.

  39.

      FibroAction: FibroAction dedicates itself to promoting awareness of fibromyalgia and related conditions in the United Kingdom and beyond.

  40.

      Fibromyalgia at FightingFatigue.org: Be sure to check out the rest of FightingFatigue.org for a more comprehensive glimpse at dealing with the pain, exhaustion and depression of fibromyalgia and related conditions.

  41.

      Daily Life with "Hidden" Chronic Illnesses: Blogger Dawn only recently received a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, but anyone suffering from a chronic condition that does not manifest itself externally can easily relate to her struggles against multiple diagnoses.

  42.

      Faith, Family & Fibromyalgia: For some fibromyalgia patients, religion and family may offer them a respite from the suffering caused by their illness.

  43.

      I Am FibroCathy’s Blog: Follow one woman’s experience with fibromyalgia and her attempts to eke out a sense of equilibrium amongst the chaos.

  44.

      Learning to Trust: Another blog that turns towards religion for fibromyalgia support. The solution may not work for everyone, but some readers may find it inspiring.

  45.

      Blogs at MyFibro.com: Multiple contributors means plenty of different perspectives on fibromyalgia experiences, treatment, opinions and other related topics.

  46.

      My Life with Fibro: Seek out the "fresh face of fibromyalgia on the web" for lessons in how chronic pain can lead to some surprising self-awareness and insight.

  47.

      Chronic in the Kitchen: Fibromyalgia patients with a flair for cooking do not have to give up their passion! These recipes are specifically designed for anyone suffering from chronic pain who still desire to cook their own meals and snacks.

  48.

      FibroDAZE: Kathy from Chronic in the Kitchen takes time away from her cooking to discuss her battle with fibromyalgia.

  49.

      Phylor’s Blog: Bookmark this inspiring blog for information on living well in spite of chronic pain. The information here benefits more than just fibromyalgia patients.

  50.

      Chronic Pain Journal: Chronic Pain Journal may not be exclusively about fibromyalgia, but sufferers can still benefit from all the advice and resources available here.

Monday - a very cold day

It is super duper cold out right now.  Thank God we didn't get the snow though.  It has flurried a bit, but not a dumping ground like it did at my cousin's house.  I am grateful for that.  I have to find my winter pajamas.  I know they are not far, but my fall/spring ones aren't warm enough.  I have my sweatshirts and hoodies out ready to wear.  I need some turtle necks though.  I am going to look at Walmart.com to see if they have any.  They did a bit ago when I was looking for the little lady.  I hope they are still around.

I downloaded the pictures that were on my camera.  I figured it out.  I put them on the PC first but I think it will work with the mac too.  I will post the pictures of them in a moment.  The tree looks very cute, Julie and Lily did a nice job.  I have to buy a tree skirt because I don't have one.  I will do that this week.

It has been an okay day.  I met up with Rosemary at Tim Horton's this morning.  That was nice.  We had a nice visit.  I haven't actually seen her since Mom's funeral.  She asked how I was doing.  I told the truth, somedays good, somedays not so good.  She is in the middle of decorating her house for Christmas.  She wanted to get her big tree up today.  I told her I was done, because I am.

I had 4 lessons today.  Bob is almost ready for the concert this weekend.  I have presents to wrap for the concert.  I will do them probably on Friday.  Acer is ready for his piano song, I think he is planning to play his drums with the little drummer boy which he might also sing with.  I don't know.  I just know he is planning to do something with that song.  Calli is ready for her 2 songs.  She is singing one song and playing the piano for the other.  She was the first one ready for the concert.  It should be a lot of fun.

I have had a bad headache all day, although with teaching, it doesn't hurt as bad when I am teaching.  I have a potential new student with the new company.  I am not sure though.  The current situation is that the teacher comes to them and they would have to come here so I am not sure that will work.  I do hope so.  It is a more advanced student although they have only been playing for a year, so I am not sure how advanced they are, it is hard to say since everyone plays at a different level and goes with different speeds.

I am meeting my friend, Jennie tomorrow for lunch.  I can't wait.  I have to google map it only to see how long it will take to get there.  I haven't been that far west in a while so I am unsure what time I need to leave.  I am excited about seeing her.  I will be seeing Wendy on Wednesday.  I also am going to see a grief person from Hospice.  I unfortunately made the appointment the same time as Wendy, so I need to change the Hospice appointment.  I will see what she has left.  I think the one on one will be helpful for me because I am tired of being told I am not doing well by some.  I think I am doing well.

Here is what the tree looks like plus some close ups on the ornaments on the tree.

This is what the decorated piano looks like:

Only 1 piano is decorated because I use the piano to the right of it for my lessons.  It isn't decorated because I would be disturbing the decorations all the time so we just left, plus I have the CD player on top because I use it for voice lessons.

I hope tomorrow the headache is back to normal because I am not feeling very well right now.  I hope tomorrow is a better day.  I hope your day is good.

Family Day at Uncle John's

I found out when I got home that my Uncle Ken wanted to go to Uncle John's, only he thought it was still next week.  Had I known, I would have messaged my cousin and let her know it was moved to today.  Yeah, so next time we go I will be letting my Uncle Ken know so he can go visit too.  He needs a ride which is no problem as I apparently go right past his place.  Sure, I don't mind.

It was a good day.  Andrew wasn't there.  He and Angie were on their way but the roads were bad by that time and they couldn't see so they had to turn back to go home.  I will see him next time.  Hayley and Cathy were both there so I was happy about that.  I was part way there when Maia called and so I turned back to go and pick her up.  I wasn't that far from home.  I also should have at that point, gone home to get my medicine but I didn't so I didn't have my morning medicine today.  Yeah, not a good thing.  A bit too much pain today everywhere.  I ended up leaving a bit early because of the pain and I was tired.  I didn't want to drive any later as it is a 1 1/2 hour drive home.  I have a good time when I go.  I brought a cake this time.  Lily made it.  People seemed to like it.  I did.  I had a small piece because there were so many desserts to choose from.  Hayley brought candy cane cheesecake and Cathy brought cookie bars.  All was really good that is all I can say, really good.  Michelle is a good cook.  Tillie said that in January she is having a family get together at her house.  That will be fun too.

I have a busy week ahead of me.  I am meeting my friend, Jennie for lunch on Tuesday, and my friend, Wendy for tea on Wednesday.  Then I have to pop over to Windsor for a brief period on Thursday.  So I am quite glad I have plenty to do this week.  I also have to finish copying all the papers needed for the lawyer for the bankruptcy and take a trip to the Secretary of State's office, a place I dread.  I need to ship William and Abigail's Christmas gifts to them this week too.  I have to go to the UPS store for that one.  I will take care of that early this week.  I just have to remember to do it.  I think tomorrow I will have Heather B-T bring them up so that I can see them to take in.  I hope the kids like the instruments.  I will then message Richard to let him know they are on their way.

I finished all the thank you notes while cousin Cathy was here.  It was much easier to do them while she was here so I didn't cry all day.  I cried the first few I wrote and then thought I would only do a few at a time, but I ended up writing them all.  I signed for the boys as they couldn't really sign themselves as they live far away from me and sending the cards to them to sign was a bit silly so I signed them all myself.

It seems so strange to me still that Christmas is almost here.  I am not really ready for it.  Usually I am so ready for it right after Halloween, but not this year.  This year I could sleep through it and that would be fine to me.  I am still not sure what is happening those days so we shall wait and see.

I want to scan more pictures of the family in.  I now have a memory card for the newer camera.  The one from the old camera fits so I switched it today.  I know where that cord is.  It is in the top drawer in the dining room, the other one, I am not so sure where it is, plus it is an older camera with less mega pixels on it.  The newer one takes nice pictures.  I took a good one of Katie.  During vacation Katie is going to come over and put all the music away.  She is also going to reorganize all of the CDs.  That would be so awesome if she could.  I would really appreciate that.  Then maybe she and I can put the office back together so the big computer can be put on the table.  That would be good.

I am not as tired as I was earlier, but I am still pretty tired.  I foresee going to bed rather soon.  I hope your day was good too.

Decorating for the Holiday

I went to see Rachel and Rebecca's play this morning.  It was good.  Rebecca had one of the leads and Rachel had another.  Both are quite good.  I got back just after 12 noon.  I called Lily to let her know I was home and whenever they could come for decorating would be fine for me.  I wasn't picky at all.  Lily's family was having a new couch delivered today so I had time to have a nap, which I desperately needed as I was very weepy this afternoon before the nap.  I started getting weepy right when I left the play.  Mom would have loved it and that made me sad because she isn't here to see it.  Sometimes these thoughts don't make me weepy, but today since I was tired it did.  After my nap, I felt much better.  Julie and I were discussing how Mom gave up at the end and I think that is what upsets me the most.  Because once she asked me what was going on with her memory, she seemed to fly through the last few stages on Alzheimer's.  Well, she doesn't have it now.

Lily and Julie arrived and Lily went right down the stairs to get the tree.  We brought up the ornaments, and the nativity snow globe (the coolest one ever).  We took down everything on the piano so we could decorate it too.  The one I use isn't decorated because I need to use it when I teach.  I do hope the New Year brings new students or another part time job.  Well, we shall see what God will do.  It is all up to him.

Julie went right to work so did Lily.  I did a bit, but they did most of the work.  It took about 2 hours to get it all finished.  I mentioned I needed to make a cake for tomorrow and Lily was like, cool, let's go.  Well, she did pretty much everything for it.  She put it together.  We used Betty Crocker mix.  She added the extra ingredients and used my new mixer.  It works great.  She did a great job.  She tasted it and said it tasted great.  Then we put it in the oven for whatever amount it needed.  Julie frosted it for us as I think we started frosting it a bit too early and it was too warm.  Julie frosted it and then Lily decorated it.  She even signed her name on it.  It was just too cute.  She did a great job.

We talked for a while after we were finished.  Lily took the last piece of garland and draped it over the hallway entrance at the bottom of the stairs.  She was so cute trying to get the tack into the plaster.  She finally found a hammer and got it in.  She did a great job on the garland.  It is perfect.

All in all it was a good day despite my teariness.  I also managed to get a load of laundry done too!  Wasn't that great?  I just have a couple more loads and I am all caught up.  I do have a big pile that needs to be put away.  I will work on that next week.  that is my small goal of the year, put the pile of laundry away.  I want the utility room all ready and put back together with the clothes put all by Christmas.  For New Years I want to have the living room back to the way it belongs with the rest of Mom's things that doesn't need to be there gone.  I will also have the china cabinet the way I want.  Julie found the dinner plates to the good dishes in the cabinet under the china cabinet.  I knew they were there somewhere, but not I know where they are and that makes me smile.

I hope your day is going well too.  I am ready for Christmas, well as ready as I can be without Mom.  I think she is happy that I have decorated some.  I didn't go over the top like I would have had she been here, but I did some.  Maybe next year.  Who knows what the new year will bring.  We can only wait and see.

new quilt

I got a prayer quilt from the ladies at church today.  Pastor Weatherly brought it to me and we visited for a bit.  It was nice to see her again.  She is a very nice woman.  Listens, down to earth, very, very nice over all.  She is the associate minister at church.  She did Mom's funeral and did an amazing job.  The sermon was really nicely done, Mom would have been pleased.

The quilt is green and will go nicely either in the living room or my bedroom.  It is beautifully made.  I think Julie would love it.  I think it is wonderful and I am so thankful that they made it.  It is a prayer quilt.  I have lots of prayers these days, part time job, more students, etc.  So far though, I am doing alright.  I am making ends meet and have enough to make ends meet for a few months and then I will be in a bind.  I am praying by then that I will either have a part time job or more students to fill in the gap.  I gave that worry all up to God a few weeks ago because I was getting major headaches with it.

It is a quiet day here with not much going on now that the minister has left.  I am just relaxing and surfing the web for jobs.  I have to reactivate my Monster.com account and update the resume.  I also am looking at the local news websites for jobs too, because they have a job listing page on their websites.  I am confident I will find something before the money runs out.  So far, so good, is all I can say.

I am not upset anymore about Christmas.  If I see Richard, I do, if I don't, well, then I don't.  I don't know where he is planning to go for Christmas but I will be fine with whatever he decides.  Christmas is going to be hard anyways with the little lady not here with me.  Life was definitely a lot easier with her here with me than with her gone.  Maybe not physically easier, as she needed help with a lot of things, but definitely mentally.  I knew the bills would be paid and that we would be alright together.  I often wonder how women do this when they lose their husbands.  Losing someone you love is hard I think on everyone.

Kathy will be here in a couple of weeks.  We are going to go see harry potter and we are going to fix up the china cabinet.  I am planning to make a nice dinner for us on Saturday so that we can use the good dishes.  I just have to find the dinner plates.  They are in the bottom of the cabinet somewhere, just not sure where yet.  I know they are though because they haven't been moved in years.

I hope your day is good too!  So far, a nice day.  I think I will get some chicken for dinner.  Sounds yummy.  I have some in the fridge along with some nice rice and broccoli.  I also bought some of the fudge covered oreos.  I need those like I need a hole in my head.  They only come out at Christmas time.


Here is a couple of pictures of Me and Mom!  I hope you like them.

The first one I was about 5 or 6 in and I don't know where we were.  The Christmas one I was 19 in.  don't Mom and I have the same smile??

Thursday

I don't have anything planned today.  No lessons, no webinar, no nothing, so I am just going to scan some pictures into the computer and then transfer them to this computer so I can post them on face book.  I think I have finally finished posted most of the little mom's photos.  There are a few I didn't, because I missed them, but at this point, I see no need to go back and post them as there are over 100 pictures of the little lady.  I think people got the point of what she looked like, what she did, and some of us kids.

I had to call 2 doctors office's billing departments to let them know Mom passed away.  One asked if I could send a copy of the certificate to add to their file and close it out.  I said I would send a copy, not an original, they said fine.  So I will do that after I copy the certificate.

I am not sure how to spend my extra time.  It is something I never really had before.  I was always going from one job to the next and then to sleep.  I would sleep in between jobs too because it helped with the pain of going from one job to the next.  I am thinking of volunteering for a job, but I don't know which one I would want to volunteer for.  I am thinking the Red Cross.  I enjoyed working in their marketing department when I was in grad school.  It was a lot of fun.

I finished the webinar last night for the new teaching company.  They had a couple of suggestions for marketing, I am not sure I am going to do it though because I did try Craigslist and got a lot of scammers so I am nervous to try that one again.  We shall see.  I am hoping for a new student by the beginning of January as that will be into what has been saved.  I have enough for a few months and then I am in dire straights and that scares me to pieces.  Completely scares me.  I have always been able to find another job right away and in this economy that just isn't possible.  I have applied in other places too so I am not giving up, it is just with it being so close to the holidays, I am hopeful that after I will be finding either enough new students or something part time.  Whichever works, works for me.

I did get an email from Richard yesterday evening.  He hadn't answered me about the holidays because he doesn't really know what they are doing.  He is thinking of going out of town for them.  I don't know where.  I don't know if that means here, or somewhere where they can go snowboarding.  So it looks like I will be here after all for the holiday, which is something I really didn't want.  I wanted to be with him and the kids.  Oh well, maybe I wouldn't be such fun anyways seeing how sad I am right now.  I don't know, it is just all up in the air right now.

I am going to go downstairs and look for more family pictures after this, because I know there are more.  I bet they are in all the bags that haven't been opened for a long time.  Mom did like to put things in bags and then in boxes.  That was one of her quirky things.  I do it for some things, but not many.  I think Richard and I inherited her packratiness.  If Jennifer wasn't making sure the house doesn't get cluttered, his would be too, not just mine.  I am starting to work on some more rooms starting after the new year.  I just can't do it right now.

I hope your day is going well, mine is okay, not great or anything, but okay, kind of boring.  I know people always say, oh, if only I had nothing to do.  Well, it is overrated.  It is good to be busy.  Very good to be busy.  I am not busy enough these days.

1st of December

Hard to believe that December is here.  I think I have read that a lot today and it is true!  These last 6 1/2 weeks have been in a daze with some moments of clarity.  I miss mom a lot, but sometimes she seems like a dream I had.  I do know I had her because I wouldn't be here without her, but sometimes is seems so far away since I last saw her.  I want her back, I didn't want her to go, but I believe it was her time.  I am glad she didn't suffer, although I don't understand how because she had no food or drink for 9 days but I have been assured she didn't suffer at all with that.  She was in some pain occasionally which they took care of, not always as quickly as I would have liked, but it was taken care of.  I can still see her lying in that bed in the hospital.  I think a part of me always will as that was the last time I saw her.  She looked so small and tiny in that bed, but she was peacefully sleeping most of the time.

This month will have a bittersweet taste to me, I think, because Mom loved December and all the joy of Christmas.  At first, I didn't want to decorate at all and then i thought, that isn't very good because Mom would want me to celebrate Jesus' birthday.  So I am decorating, perhaps not as wildly as I would have with the little lady here, but Lily, Julie, and I are going to do some.  It will be good because the house will look festive for the season.

I haven't heard from Richard about the holidays so I don't really know what is going on with that.  I have made alternative plans if necessary.  I have places to go if I don't go out west, although I really want to go.  I miss my brother a lot.  I miss Andrew too, but I see him about once a month whereas Richard I don't.  First time I saw him in 2 1/2 years was at Momma's funeral and it wasn't like we could be happy about that.  We chatted, true, I got to hug him, true, but it isn't the same and I haven't seen his family in 2 1/2 years.  That hurts me because I am rather attached to his children.  I simply adore them.

I went to the lawyer's today and got some answers to some questions.  I also have some more paperwork to turn in.  Ugh, I thought I had it all but I don't.  Oops.  I also have to remember to go to Secretary of State to take care of the title to my car before I fax it too them.  I now own it as I paid it off last summer and the title needs to reflect that.  I will be able to keep the house and not turn it in to the bankruptcy so that is a relief.  That bill will not be discharged, but that is okay by me, I keep the house, the important thing.

Things are beginning to smooth out for me.  I have the webinar tonight with the new teaching company. I do hope I get a lot of students.  I understand they are cautious at first, but I need the students, not just for the money either, for the time it will spend and it is what I love to do.  I love teaching.  I think I am going to look into writing too.  I am not sure.  I have some things starting to go around in my head that might be good.  I don't know.  Right now, my head swims most of the time with worries and panics, at least I have not had a panic attack since Mom died.  I actually have not had one for about a year now so I am doing well with that.

It is snowing today and looking pretty (because it isn't sticking to the ground, it is just flurries).  It is also cold here.  I am actually cold right now.  I need to go get my hoodie and put it on so I won't be chilled.  I have a sweatshirt on but I am still cold.  Pain level is normal, my head is a bit more painful than normal but I think a pain pill will take care of that.

I hope you are having a good day.

Tuesday 11-30

It is the last day of November, a month I used to dislike because it wasn't sunny out too much.  Now it is just a lonely month.  I can't believe it is almost December.  I am hoping to be with Richard in a few weeks. I really am, otherwise I don't know what I will do on Christmas.  I need to be with the big brother.  It's just the way it is.  I need to be with him.  He is missed and so is his family.  I don't know if he knows what he is doing for that Holiday though.  He didn't answer my email, so I don't know.  I plan to call him after the interview today at 1:30 pm to let him know how it went.  15 more minutes and my interview will start.  I hope they call on time.  I hate being late.  I have the phone all charged and everything waiting for them.

I was supposed to have 2 lessons today, but Dawson is ill, so he will have a make-up later this week.  Poor guy, it's tough to be ill, although the missing school part is probably not the worst for him.  I used to love missing school.  I hated school with a passion.  It was just plain awful.  I remember one time, I forgot my house key and I went home early because I was ill.  I had to go up to the high school to get Richard to get his key.  It happened to be one of the days he was there.  He told the principal he should go home and take care of his little sister.  Yeah, he made me soup, tucked me into bed and then went out with his friends.  Well, I was taken care of.  I fell asleep and he was gone.  I probably would have done the exact same thing if I was him.

I am copying all the bills for the lawyer tomorrow.  I will be heading up to Speedy printing to take care of it after the interview (which is supposed to last about 1/2 hour).  I am almost done copying everything.  I came home to get ready for the interview.  I am excited about this.  First interview I have done in about 9 years so I am a bit nervous too.  I will let you know how I do after the interview which should be any minute now.  It is almost 1:30 pm.  I am also nervous they will forget to call.  I would hope not, but one never knows in this society.

I got the job!!!!  Yes, I now also teach for Takelessons.com.  It doesn't pay as much as my students pay me but that is okay.  They do all the work getting the student and I teach.  It is fair.  At the studio we paid rent so I am used to it.  It is a bit less that I am used to, but that is alright.  I don't mind or I wouldn't have taken the job.  I need a total of 10 new students to make the house bills and my bills work.  I am not sure when I will have that many new students, but I am praying a lot about it.  I am short with just the disability and really need the money to pay all my bills.  I don't have that many, but disability isn't quite enough to live on right now.  In February, Medicare kicks in so that helps a lot.  It is just getting there between now and February.  I can get help to pay the electricity and heat if necessary, but who knows if I will need it.  Right now I am just praying for help and so far, I must say, He has been helping.  Richard is very proud of me.  He said so.  He was so excited that I got the position.  I was very pleased.  I do hope that I don't need another job on top of this one.  I really do because I would like to put my time into teaching since that is what I love to do.

Anyways, it has been an exciting day over.  I finished the paperwork, I have copied the bills, and I got a new position, just need the students to go with it.  I didn't get a chance to ask Richard about Christmas, it is looking like I will be in town for it.  I am disappointed with that.  I hope I get to go.

I hope your day is going well too.  Pain level isn't too bad either, so that is good, especially since it is raining.