Life and Fibromyalgia: New Journey of Grief

Me and Tilley a few Years ago

On Thursday, April 16, 2026, my Aunt Tilley passed away. I have yet to be able to process this. In some ways it feels simply impossible and others like it has been almost a year. At the end of last May, she moved to Nova Scotia with my cousin, Zachary. I had spoken to her about 2 times since May. I tried to call her several times, however, she rarely had her phone on, which was pretty normal for her.

She and I had so many laughs over the years. We also liked a lot of similar things. One Mother's Day shortly after my mother passed away, we went and saw a live event at the movie theatre at the local mall. We saw the Ballet of "Romeo and Juliet". I love dance so much. I really do miss it too. I danced for 9 years through out the end of high school and university. I loved Ballet and Lyrical Jazz the best. I met one of my closest friends in Ballet, Mollie. We stood next to each other at the bar. Okay, I will confess, we were also the two super serious dancers who would glare at anyone talking or not paying attention. Eventually, we did ease up on the glares. Ballet Class was also where I met one of the teachers that had such a positive influence on me as a teacher. Her name was Debbie. Rarely, did she yell or tell someone something mean when they made a mistake. She didn't make a big deal about it. Debbie just quietly corrected the student.

I don't remember what year it was, Mom and I went to Chatham for the Highland Games. We were standing at the grandstands watching a collection of Bands that were concluding the band competition, when we heard a booming voice say, hey, that is my cousin! Mom looked at me and said I know that voice. We moved away and down the stands came Wilbert and Tilley. I don't know if I had met them before or not. Thus rekindled a family friendship that lasts even now. I was very close to Tilley, I visited her often and called her at least once a week when she lived near her. She lied about 45 minutes away from me.

Maia, I am unsure what year

Her youngest daughter, Maia and I were also close. I miss her an awful lot too. She passed away from Inflammatory Breast Cancer.

Lia

There are good things too that have come out of the family. Maia had four children. Her oldest and youngest daughters have families. It was her youngest daughter who called to let me know about the passing. There will be a celebration of her life, however, I will not be able to go. I do not have an updated passport and it is a very long trip, with my physical limitations, the pain levels would be super high. Maia's next older sister has a daughter who has 2 children. We had a really good conversation. Even with the social media that so many of us use, spare time is hard to find, especially for parents, it doesn't matter if a mother has another job outside of the home or not, being a parent means you wear many many hats. This is not to say that people without children are not very busy, I am saying this is a big reason why it is difficult for our family to get together these days.

Tilley would have been 94 on September 5, 2026. I loved hearing stories of when she was young and lived in several different small towns. She got married when she was 18 and there were 12 people in attendance at the wedding. She would say that all the time. She had lived in many different places, with Halifax, Nova Scotia being one of her favorite. She always wanted to go back there. She did. Last May. My prissiness did irritate her a lot. She couldn't understand why did not like to go outside. She also said to my mother once that had we been visiting more when me and my brothers were young, I would have been forced to run around outside with her kids. I said I didn't like to run around outside. I liked playing with my dolls and my barbies. Tilley said to me, no you would have been running around probably with Maia. Maia looked at her mom and said no, I would have been in here playing with her dolls and barbies right with her. Tilley was so surprised. Maia said I liked those toys too. She said I would have wanted to be with my cousin in here. This was just one of the more comical things that were said. Now Maia did say to me one day when we were I think in my backyard, it is just a little dirt, Heather. You will be just fine.

Tilley and Maia were a good help near the end of my mother's life. my mother passed away 15 1/2 years ago.