Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Monthly Blood Test Day

Today was the day I saw my hematologist for the monthly blood test.  Because I take blood thinners, I have to have it checked every month to make sure it is in therapeutic range.  I don't mind because I don't ever want to have a blood clot again.  It was awful, simply awful.

The myofacial pain is better today than it was on Sunday.  My teeth pain is better too.  Unfortunately, my sinus pain hates me, which is to be expected in this weather.  It happens every fall.  It is just the way it is.

I have had all my lessons this week.  I hope to get a few more, then I will have enough to keep me busy enough without exhausting me.  How I used to do 50 and 60 a week, seems to blow my mind but I was so much healthier then.  It was before my blood clot and the vasculitis.  They seemed to have made the fibro and definitely made the headaches worse.  The only thing I hate about fall is the headaches seem to get worse at night again.  I find myself getting up at night and going downstairs to get some Advil.

This is a short one today.  I have a lesson arriving soon.  She is a really talented girl and super nice too. She works very hard.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Myofacial Pain

My face is very sore today, including teeth.  Not like my teeth are loose or I need to see a dentist type pain, the myofacial type tooth soreness.  When they touch, ow!  My jaw hurts too.  I am not trying to whine, really I am not, but I am in a bit more pain that usual.  I tried to nap twice to take my mind off the extra pain, but it didn't help.  What finally did?  A short drive.  Believe it or not.  I drove for about 45 minutes in the car with Peony.  I took a road that I knew was pretty to ride down and just drove.  I had gotten something to drink (a soda pop not the alcohol type of drink) and just drove.  She was such good company.  Then we drove home.  I felt ever so much better.  I think the Advil started to work too so that may be part of it but I was distracted and that was what I really needed.  If not, the pain gets out of the world out of control and then nothing works.  That is when I end up in the hospital because it will travel to the rest of my head and cause an uncontrollable migraine.  Those, I am trying to avoid so distraction therapy worked for today for this particular pain issue.  Will it work again?  *shrugs*  Who knows? It is a try and see what happens disease.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

It got really cold (compared to last weekend, which went to the low 90s) this weekend.  We were in the low 60s.  Now, normally, I am one happy camper about it because I can take the 60s better than the 90s but we had to turn the heat on because poor Peony was shivering last night.  Heather BT had to take her upstairs and literally put her in the middle of blankets as she was so cold to the bone.  She is fine today and sporting her cute pink monster sweater.  Peony is back to normal.  She is staying closer to us today as I would expect because she wasn't feeling well last night.  I took her with me and she was happy.  She has gone back and forth between me and Heather BT all day.  She was on my bed when I tried to take the naps that failed miserably.  That is actually normal for her.  She will lie on my bed with me when I nap.  It is like she knows I don't feel well and that I need her.  Peony will do the same for Heather BT.  It is an awesome thing to know she is there.  Sometimes, I will even find a toy or two on my bed after she gets off.

School is back into session and I am hoping for a few more students.  One more has now come back for lessons.  She has pneumonia now so no lesson this week but will start next week depending on, of course, how she is breathing as she plays the clarinet.  I just love her!  Her mom and I have know each other since I was about 9.  We went to the same church growing up and have stayed in touch through out the years.  Allie is such a nice girl too.  I look forward to seeing her again.  I have room for about 4 more students and then I will be full.  I don't know if Jessie is coming back.  I hope so as she was such a good pianist and student.  I just love her.  She was nice and funny.  We always had a good time with lessons too.  Jessie did really well with lessons.  I also hope that Krista comes back.  That I should know in the next week or two.  So if those two come back and then I get 2 new students, I am completely full and things will go good for me.  It would be nice and financially I will be able to pay all of the doctor bills too.  Right now things are so tight because I am not where I need to be.  I am getting there and I am sure I will soon.  It is just the beginning of the school year and it often takes time to get a full load.  I will have to wait and see.

The house is in the Harry Potter mode right now.  C is reading the books and she and I watched the first movie last night with me doing the audio commentary since it doesn't come with it.  If the movie people do put the audio commentary (doubtful) on it, I will re-buy the entire set for that reason.  C said I did a good job of the audio commentary.  Next up, when we can, is the second movie.  We may re-watch the first one so A can see and our friend, Star can do the audio commentary (she really wants to do this) but we will see.  A is interested but not super interested at this time.  I think as the year goes on and he hears more and more about HP, he will become more interested in it.  A did ask if I thought he would like them and I said yes because I do believe he will.  Perhaps not right now, but maybe in a year or two.  He is only 10 almost 11.  I am re-reading the books myself.  I am on book 6.  I can't read them in my room because the book is hardcover and too heavy for my hands to hold it up.  It just makes my hands ache so.  I plan to read it while the kids are in school and I am done with getting reading for teaching.  Normally, I read at night and in my room, but I will need to read the last two books down in the dining room.  I just can't hold them up.  I tried putting them on a pillow, folding the pillow in half, nothing worked.  It was just a mess so down in the dining room when kids are in school will have to do it for me.  I have other things to read at night in my room.  When the kids are doing homework in the dining room, I like don't like to be there because I feel that I distract them.  They get so distracted so easy as it is, so me being there makes it worse.  That is why I will not read the book when they are home unless they have no homework.  I just can't be a distractor for them.  Homework is too important and the distraction level is too high to begin with.  Besides, I love sitting in my room, in my pajamas, in my chair with Peony near by, reading after dinner and dishes are done.  It is usually only about an hour or two before bed anyways so it isn't like I am hiding out or anything for hours upon hours.  The peace and quiet is lovely to lose myself in a book.  Of course, if A or C need help with homework, I am there too.  Sometimes, they do and I help.  All depends on the day.  So far, they haven't had much but it has only been the first week of school.

It looks so beautiful out today.  The sky is blue, blue, blue with puffy white clouds.  The temperature isn't too bad with a hoodie on.  I have so many hoodies that I love.  They go with different jeans or pants that I have.  Flowers are still in bloom.  Heather BT is the master gardener in our house and she IS a master gardener.  She has planted some lovely plants and flowers in the flower beds around our house.  The one thing that hasn't changed is the only carpet rose plant that my mother planted for my graduation party for graduate school in 2001.  She planted 3 and only 1 has survived.  Heather BT plans to keep that as a tribute to my mother.  I am glad.  Everything else she will, as the seasons pass, change, I don't mind.  She can.  I have the one flower and that is all that matters.

Speaking of my mother, this year will be the 5th year since she passed away.  I miss her so much.  When C and I were at the part in the movie last night when Harry found the mirror of erised, I commented that I would want to see my mother.  Since the mirror shows our most desperate of deepest desires, I know that seeing her is my most deepest and desperate desire.  I know that someday we will be together again and we will never part but that doesn't stop me from missing her so much now.  I think about her everyday.  I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about her.  It isn't all sad either, I do think about happy things about her too.  I will think about her when I look at clouds and I smile because she loved making shapes out of the clouds when she saw them.  That makes me happy.

It is almost dinner time.  We are having squash and ham.  I love the kind of squash we are having.  Momma loved squash too.  The boys didn't.  They would roll their eyes at Thanksgiving dinner when Mom would serve herself a big bunch.  We all love squash here.  Do you like it?

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Hello September and hopefully less pain!!!!!

Hello September!  I am so glad to see you!!!!  I can't wait for the weather to go along with the month.  This weekend, Labor Day, is going to be hot for here.  Although, I have very little room to complain about the heat this summer as we have had very little of it.  Most of the time, it has been very very very nice.  Very few days with 90 degrees and above, which is rare for Michigan but I will take it.

Pain level these days has been not so good.  My headache has been bad, my sinus have been bad, and overall, I just haven't been feeling like myself.  I hope the cooler weather that later next week is to bring will help.  I can only hope.

I saw my brother over the weekend.  It was a nice visit.  I hadn't seen him in person in over a year.  I just wasn't able to but now I can.  I hope to see him again soon.  It is a long drive so I have to be in good shape that day in order to see him.  I was doing alright until I got home.  I ate something at lunch/dinner that I shouldn't have and oh my.  I was so dizzy and out of it.  I literally had to either lie down or I would have fallen down.  I was in bed by about 8 pm that night.  My tummy has been upset ever since too.  It is improving but it has been a rough road for me.  I had some beer cheddar soup that I think totally disagreed with me.  It tasted fine but I don't think it agreed with me because I didn't feel well shortly after eating it.  I won't have it again.  That is for sure.  I will think twice about this.  I think next time maybe I will get a salad instead of soup.  It is a nice restaurant and they have good food.  I just tried something different and well, sometimes that is just not good.

I have 3 lessons today.  My Sammy has a bad headache so she is coming on the weekend instead.  Bob had a makeup from yesterday this afternoon, Alexis will have her lesson, and Quinn will have her makeup lesson from yesterday too.  Bob plays piano and has been playing piano with me for over 10 years.  He plays very good.  I am pleased with his progress.  He learns theory along the way also.  Alexis is new to me and she also plays piano.  She had another teacher who moved before she came to take lessons from me.  I am pleased with her progress too.  Quinn is a singer and simply adorable.  She is 7 and is very serious about singing.  She practices a lot.  Quinn does everything I ask her too.  Basically, she is a great student to have.

Peony had gotten a new harness on Sunday.  She chewed through it today.  Now we need to get her a new one so she can't go outside until we get her a new one.  We don't have a collar for her either since we use a harness for her.  I was not happy with her over this one.  Silly puppy.  You are supposed to chew your harness off.  It was only side but still, enough where she can't use it.  The last one Q broke during their wrestling time so that is why we had to get a new one.  I don't know but I think we are shopping tonight.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Summer is almost over!!!!!

I am so glad that summer is almost over.  I don't do well in extreme heat, like today or the extreme cold.  Fall and spring are much better for me, especially fall.  I sleep better in cooler, not cold, temperatures.  Last night I had the fan on all night long as it was so hot in my room.  It really hasn't been too bad without a/c.  I really can't complain.  This summer has been nice without too many days too hot.  Today just happens to be one of them.  I am cooler right now with the lovely fan directly in front of me.  I will move it into the living room when I teach this afternoon.

Little man and I have had a good afternoon so far.  He and I went to a store and he got a new toy.  He is very excited about it.  Currently, he is playing on it downstairs.  Little Man is one thrilled boy.  I love that he is thrilled with the toy.

Miss Missy and I have been reading Harry Potter together.  She has been putting this off for months.  I kept telling her she would like it but she kept ignoring me.  Well, one day last week, I pulled out my first book and started reading out loud to her.  She went and got her braille copy and followed along.  She is now on the 3rd part of the braille copy of the first book.  Miss Missy loves the Harry Potter book!  I am one thrilled girl about that!  I knew she would if she would just give it a chance.  She just had to give it a chance.

I have been waking up earlier lately.  I don't know why.  It is kind of weird.  About an hour to and hour and a half earlier.  Very, very, very weird.  I have no reason why either.  I have been going to bed about the same time.  Perhaps because it gets warmer in my room earlier?  I don't know.  Miss Missy is glad that I am up earlier no matter the reason.  Of course, this often means I need a nap in the afternoon.  I have no time for one today.  I have lessons right during nap time.  I will be busy so that is okay.  I think I take more naps when I don't have as much too do.

I am rather achy today.  It is because of the weather.  That much I know.  It is suppose to cool off a bit tonight so it should be better then.  I will be happy about that.  My right elbow has been pretty sore lately.  Right at the trigger spot.  It hurts on and off and has for months now.  Sometimes, it hurts so much I can't even lift stuff with that arm and it is my right arm.  I am right handed.  Naturally, when I went to the arthritis doctor, it didn't hurt much that day so she didn't see it in action.

Well, I am going to read for a bit.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Hot Summer Days

It has been the typical hot July days here now.  I expected them eventually and they have finally arrived.  Today it was 90 degrees out but I was cool and comfy inside with the windows shut to keep the heat out and the fan on me!  Nice and comfy!  Peony has been comfy too!  Today was a mostly Peony and me day.  I love these days.  Also, ABC family has a Harry Potter marathon on so that is what I am watching.  I started with number 6 as I didn't know the marathon was on until then.  Definitely a good way to spend the afternoon and evening!

Earlier, my precious princess pup and I went for a bit of a drive.  It was nice and relaxing.  We drove for about an hour.  I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit so we went.  Peony loves car rides, fortunately for me.  We enjoyed ourselves immensely, being together.  I came home and did the dishes right after that.  I was on my own for dinner so it was a Panera dinner for me.  I love their Greek salads.  I always get it with chicken.

I have a busy week coming up so I am very glad about that.  I will be meeting 2 friends on 2 different days too.  Cathy and her daughter for dinner and Mollie and her sons for lunch.  I am excited about that.  It should be rather fun.  I believe so that is for sure.  I haven't seen Cathy and Ally since May nor have I seen Mollie since early June.  Both are overdue for a visit.  I try to visit as much as possible.  I will see an old friend, Sue next week.  I haven't seen her in about 16 years so that will be good.

Peony is in the living room barking at something outside.  She does this often.  It is quite cute when she does this.  I find it rather amusing.  She will run back and forth from my room to the living room and then do it again.  She is back by my side for a few seconds again.

My cousin, Wilbert passed away yesterday.  He had dementia.  He didn't know who he was anymore.  Wilbert had pneumonia.  He and Momma were first cousins.  Once they were very close, then they drifted apart, and then they met up again.  I was with Momma when she met up again with them.  I have been close to his wife, Tilley every since.  I have mixed emotions about his passing.  He was an abusive man in his adult life, which is why Momma drifted away.  When I knew him, he was no longer physically abusive.  I mourn the man I knew, the non abusive one, the one who was kind to me, the one he was before he forgot who he was.  That is the man I mourn.  As for the family, I know they are conflicted with who they mourn.  Do the remember the good times, or the bad?  I know there were some good times, but I also know the bad so out weigh the good.  Abuse ran so much in our family.  For my particular nuclear family, it stopped with Momma.  She never abused us.  She was abused as a child so she knew what it was like and stopped it with her.  For her siblings, I am not sure.  I don't think my aunt was physically abusive but she was verbally.  I don't know about my two uncles for sure, but I suspect my one uncle was based on what one of my cousin's has said in the past.  As for the other, I don't know at all.  Abuse can be such a bad circle for families.  I am glad it stopped with Momma.  Of course, we didn't know anything about my grandfather's abuse while he was alive.  Only after he died did we learn about what he did to her and what a monster he truly was to her and her siblings.  One time, he hit her in the face so hard she went flying backwards in the chair and landed on the ground.  I cried when I heard that.  that was just one story that I heard.  I heard so many.  Momma didn't like to talk about so my aunt and uncles told us.  The grief of my cousins will be a different journey than mine was of my mother.  I still walk that journey.  Some days it is okay, others not so good.

I hope your week is going to be good!!!  I am looking forward to my lessons and my visits with friends.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Fibro and the Heat

It is very hot for us right now.  Not like it is in the south, but hot enough.  I ache more in the super cold and the heat so right now, I am aching a lot more than usual.  It happens every year.  I feel it more this year because our a/c has died and needs to be replaced and like so many I know, we just don't have the money to replace it.  Or rather, if I replace it and the furnace goes, we are in deep trouble so the best choice was to wait and see what happens with the furnace.  So far, until yesterday, it actually hadn't been so bad.  Low 80s, high 70s, not much humidity, it was really nice.  Then yesterday, yup, summer is here!  We are heading for lower temps again this week, so that will be good.  I have several tops that are very light and I have a trusty good fan so does most everyone in the house so we are all set.  My fan has been brought down to the kitchen right now so it is blowing on those of us sitting at the dining room table.  It works.  It was quite comfy, temp wise, although very achy, with the fan blowing in my room last night.  I hope it is again tonight.  We have an attic fan too that helps pull the hot air out upstairs.  I am afraid I have gotten quite spoiled with this a/c we have had for the last 20 years.  We didn't have a/c in the house growing up.  It was put in in 1995.  I was a grateful girl then.  It was right before I started really getting sick.

Summer has been okay so far.  I have a few students who have stopped for the summer, which is always sad as I miss them.  Most of them stay.  I don't have a lot of students as I am just not healthy enough to teach that many.  I do have 2 new ones starting tomorrow so that is good.  It helps balance out the ones that quit.  I have the books we need already.  Acer and I picked them up on Thursday.  I like taking him with me because he is good company and he likes going to music stores.

I hope summer is good for you so far.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

A Life of Hope

It is weird in a way because with all the health issues I have, I am hopeful that someday there will be a cure for this.  That someday we will all be free of pain and free of all the other symptoms we have.  I just know that we will.  When, well, who knows?

I find it easier to live being hopeful despite my high anxiety because when I focus on hope and living well, I am in less pain and less fatigue.  I also have a beautiful way to lessen my anxiety by hugging and cuddling Peony, our gorgeous doggie.  I love her so much.  Between Maisy and Peony I have really learned how dogs or pets in general, can really lower anxiety and provide so much love.  I miss Maisy, I loved her so much.  I am thankful for all that she taught me.  I believe that she is in Heaven playing away everyday with many other furry friends of ours.  I also believe she has met my mother, who was my biggest support when I became ill.  She stood by me and really believed me when no one else did.  I could tell her exactly how I felt and knew that she would believe me.  I miss her an awful lot too.

I have had a good weekend so far.  Last night, I went to spend the night at my friend's house to watch her children.  I simply adore her children.  They are very good kids and generally get along okay.  I do have rules that they have to be nice to each other but generally they are good.  The oldest, Angus (15) and I ended up staying up until 1:45 am watching a movie.  Oh my, I am so tired from it.  I did enjoy the movie a lot.  We also watched the first Hobbit movie, which I have seen before, once but it was nice to see again.  I really enjoyed watching the movies with Angus.  Rose (9) and Hayden (10) ended up going to bed late because I didn't realize what time it was.  Tasha (13) was upset because she went to bed on time and didn't get to stay up later.  I said it was my fault they went to bed late, not them so too bad.  She was not happy about that but she did go to bed.  I love these kids.  I had to leave earlier than I would have wanted to because I had a lesson at 2 and it was over an hour drive home.  I hope to see them again rather shortly.

The kids are coming this weekend!  I am so excited!!!!  How exciting!  It will be great!  I wonder if I will end up with 5 again meaning the neighbor girl across the street, Bella, (Rose's friend) will come and spend a night too?  It doesn't matter.  Either way works.

Well, dinner will be done soon.  Peony is sitting under my chair and I love rubbing my foot against her fur!