Saturday, December 29, 2012

Les Miserables 12-29

Oh my, words fail me about how wonderfully beautiful the movie was.  It stayed pretty much true to the stage production with a few changes here and there.  Over all, it was breathtaking.  Simply breathtaking!  Anne Hathaway has one of the most beautiful voices EVER!  She was amazing.  I think I could go on and on about it.  I plan to purchase this when it comes out on DVD.  It has been nominated for some golden globes and I hope that it will also be nominated for Oscars.  I went with Star to see it.  When Star was younger, she was my student and now, she is grown up and 25 years old.  It is nice to be friends, not just on facebook, with former students and seeing how they have grown up and mature.  It is awesome.  I am friends with several former students now.

It is hard to believe that in 2 days 2012 will be over and 2013 will be ushered in.  I think in some ways I have changed and maybe have grown.  I started the year with such a heavy heart, deep into mourning.  I still miss mom everyday but it doesn't seem to be as physically hard as it was.  I still have many days physically feeling the grief.  My heart ached physically and mentally.  I had to change my wallpaper on my computer because it was no longer helping me.  It made me sadder every time I saw a picture of mom.  I changed it back to the Winnie the Pooh pictures.  I think today that many people forget how long a person grieves and they expect a person to be "over" the person who passed away fairly quickly.  Some in my family are like this.  To be in mourning is looked up as a depression, which mostly it isn't.  Yes, I am very sad at times.  I had a very close relationship with my mom even before she had Alzheimer's.  The Alzheimer's brought us closer together.  I do thank God that I was the one to take care of her even if some days I was frustrated.  I know she was frustrated with me at times too.  I am glad that she is all better now and is in Heaven.  For a long time all i wanted to do was to be with her.  If I had died, I wouldn't have cared, I almost would have welcomed it.  The one person who was beside me my whole life was gone.  I had purpose when I took care of her.  I was upset when we lost the store.  Mom was there.  At that time, Mom was still more like herself with only a few changes outside of her memory issues.  I think it was around fall 2009 when she started to not be herself anymore.  She cried so easy, like I do now.  Mostly I can think about her and not be sad, but I still do get sad thinking about her.  She would have loved this movie.  She had seen it about 4 times with me.  I saw it 1 time without her.  I loved going to the theatre with her whether it was a live stage play or a movie.  Mom and I had so much in common as far as music and movies as well as many activities.  I am thankful that in the spring I went and spoke with Star's mother.  She really helped me a lot.  I am much better now.  Yes, I still miss her and I will for the rest of my life.  The only regret I have is that I wouldn't let mom talk about what she wanted me to do when she wasn't here anymore.  I just couldn't think about so now I don't know.  Overall, 2012 was not the worst of my life, it is getting better.  Will I be the same carefree woman that I was before 2009?  No, but everyone changes as time goes by.

I am thankful for the things and people I have in my life.  I have a few plans for next year.  I plan to be with friends on New Year's Eve.  It will be nice and quietish like it has been the last New Year's Eves.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Thursday, which I thought was Wednesday!

All day today I thought it was Wednesday.  Silly fibro fog!  I should have actually had a clue since both Faith and Laith had their lessons and Thursdays are their regularly scheduled lessons are.  That should have told me which day of the week it was.  Nope, not me, what can I say?  whoops!

Christmas Eve was a nice evening.  I spent the afternoon and evening with Kathy and her family at her parents house.  It started to snow about 1/2 hour before we were going to go to church.  We got the twins and Kathy's sons in the car and it was snowing really hard.  I followed them when Kathy turned off the main road and into a sub.  For a few seconds I thought I followed the wrong car.  No, I didn't.  Kathy and her mom decided to turn around and go back to her parents house.  I did feel bad for her boys because we had to take my scooter apart and now we needed to put it together again.  It is just to far for me to walk to Kathy's parents' condo.  I am thankful that they help me put it together and take it apart.  It is a big help.  I like my scooter.  I now keep the key on my car key ring.  This way, I will not lose it like I did a few years ago.  Kathy was in town and we decided to go to the mall.  We get the scooter all together to discover that I had lost the key.  Talk about a letdown.  I was able to get another key so that is good.  I definitely take much better care with the key now.  Anyways, when we arrived back from the aborted trip to church we opened presents.  I love what I got!  I got gift cards for barnes and nobles and amazon.  Yes, needless to say, they have all been used.  I bought lots of books.  I have lots of books for me to read that for a while.  It is exciting!  I left earlier than I normally would have since the roads were not good at all.  I also forgot to take my camera so I have no pictures of the kids this year.  Kathy's younger brother, Dan and his wife, Tracy have a 9 month old baby.  His name is David and oh my, what a charmer.  He is a good nature little guy.  I loved watching him open his presents.  I had such a hard time in choosing what cute outfit to get him.  Everything was just so cute!!!!  The boys seemed happy with what they got and same with the girls.  Overall, I think everyone was just happy with what the got.  I know I was.

Christmas Day I went to Andrew's house.  It is about 2 hours and a bit to get there.  He made a lovely turkey breast dinner.  He wasn't feeling too well but Angie and I really enjoyed Andrew's cooking.  He is such a good cook.  Everything tastes amazing when he cooks, let me tell you.  I was glad to visit him and his girlfriend.  They have the cutest dog.  He is a pug and such a sweetie.  He did try to get me to give him something off my plate but I don't know what he can and can't have so I didn't give him anything.  I didn't stay super late there since he wasn't feeling too good and I had a long drive home.  I put some Christmas CDs on and sang the whole way home.

Yesterday, I had a few lessons and then it was snowing really hard again so I just decided after my last little ones left I would go and get in my new Christmas Pajamas and have a nice cup of tea.  It was lovely.  I read a bit and then, I got on my nook and bought a lot of books.  I have several gift cards this year so I shopped and shopped.  I used alllllll the gift cards in one sitting!!!!  I now have a lot of stuff to read.  I have also discovered that I am addicted to the game Angry Birds.  Yes, I know have Angry Birds, Angry Birds Space, Angry Birds Star Wars, and Angry Birds Seasonal.  Needless to say, I love those games.  When I woke up this morning, it was a winter wonderland!!!!  I called my lovely neighbors, the Hubels and they came and dug me out.  I have cookies to make for them.  I have chocolate chip and a butterscotch ones too.  I am planning to bake them tomorrow and then deliver tomorrow or Saturday.  I also need to finish their ornaments tomorrow too.  I am almost done.  Which is good.

I had a couple of lessons today, like I said and I expect to have a couple tomorrow.  Antoinette will have a make up tomorrow because the snow was so bad on Wednesday.  It definitely made perfect sense not to drive in that snow storm and reschedule the lesson.  It was just too awful to drive.  The snow did look really pretty but with the roads covered with snow, I am sure driving was slow and dangerous.

I am not sure exactly what I will be doing this weekend.  I have one lesson on Saturday and one on Sunday.  New Year's Eve will be spent with Heather B-T and crew.  It may be there, it may be here, whichever works best for the family is what works with me.  I know she is not feeling super well right now because her back has been bothering her a lot lately.  I will see them tomorrow.  Acer and I have started a different path for piano now.  I have decided that I don't want to do the typical lesson book thing right now.  Maybe in the future we will go back to the lesson book, but at this point, this works better.  He is also singing the cutest song ever, "Be Kind to Your Parents".  It is from Fanny.  He does sing the part he knows really well.  Oh my!  I just remembered I have to send the words for Acer!  Okay, going to do that now!  I am done.  Now I just have to email it to Calli so Acer can braille it out.  Well, I think I am going to email and then read one of my new books on my nook now!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Boxing Day 12-26

These past few days have been very busy.  Saturday, my aunt came to town.  I am so hoping little Peanut is going to get better.  She is such a trooper though.  Sunday, I went to my cousin, Maia's house.  Her daughter and her family were there too along with Tillie and Maia's son Zachary.  We had a nice dinner and the kids seemed to really like their gifts.  I had to bring Elizabeth's gift back with me because there was a flaw in the slippers.  I was able to get her another one so when I see her next, she will get it then.  Myles seemed to like the mega blocks.  He banged a few together and promptly put one in his mouth.  Fortunately, they are too big to fit in his mouth.  Monday, I went to Kathy's parents house with her and her family.  Kathy's brother Dan was there also along with his family.  Everyone seemed to like everything that they got.  I was pleased with my gifts too.  I can do a lot of shopping for my nook!!!  Yesterday, Christmas Day, I went to my younger brother's house for dinner.  He wasn't feeling too well, but we had a good visit despite it.  He thinks it was something he ate.  I hope he is feeling better today.  Today, I had a few lessons.  It is snowing so hard.  I think we have got lots of snow.  I think we are supposed get about 8 inches of snow.  I made the mistake of going out in the snow.  Yup, roads were very snowy.  It is December so I guess this is the type of weather we should be expecting.  Thank goodness I do teach here at home.  2 of my students rescheduled their lessons because of the weather.  I expected them too.  I know how bad it was when I went out.  I picked up some muffins for tomorrow brunch in case the weather is still bad.  I hope it does clear up and that the roads will be clear.

Painwise, the past few days have been exhausting, but I expected it to be.  My headache was bad by the time I got home on Sunday.  Christmas Eve wasn't too bad.  Yesterday, was okay until about 1/2 way home, then it got a bit on the bad side.  I have also noticed that my right knee is hurting a bit, which is something it doesn't always do.  I am a bit stiffer than I used to be and this did cause me some concern until I realized that part of the reason I am stiffer and a little bit more sore because I know longer take the Meloxicam because of the ulcer.  So yeah, without a replacement pain med, I am just going to be more sore at times.  I am relieved that I figured out I was in pain more than usual for this time of year.

Well, time to a bit of shopping for the lovely nook!  One of the nicest perks of being a teacher, is that I do get some really cool gifts, some of them are handmade (I love those) and some are gift cards as well as all sorts of things.  I am hoping that on the weekend I will see my girls to watch some movies here at home with lots of hot chocolate and popcorn for them.  I will stick to tea.  I don't like popcorn because usually after a few hours of eating it, I get an upset stomach.  I enjoy being with my students and their families.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Not exactly how I envisioned Christmas this year 12-23

I had an enjoyable day yesterday with my Aunt Michelle and cousin, Jayson.  We visited and then we went out to dinner at Red Lobster.  It was awfully yummy.  I love their soup and their salad.  It is very good.  So after dinner we came back to my house.  We visited some more and then they had to go home.  I was planning to see them again on Christmas Day for the day.  I received a call from Michelle about 11 ish and she was sobbing.  While we were visiting, her 2 5 month old puppies somehow got out of the fenced in yard and both were hit by a car.  Poppy didn't make it and Peanut has a dislocated joint and a broken femur bone.  So instead of a happy day, it is very sad in the family.  They were so small and cute.  The person who hit them didn't even stop or see what he/she had done.  Nope, they just drove off.  I have spoken to Michelle early in the afternoon.  The orthopedic surgeon was going to be in the pet hospital about 7 tonight.  I haven't spoken to her since.  I have left a message and I hope to hear how Peanut is doing.  She is such a sweet puppy so was Poppy.

I will be planning to see Andrew on Christmas Day.  Today, I went to Maia's house for dinner.  I had a few gifts for the little ones.  Elizabeth loved the Cinderella stuff only one of her slippers was damaged so I needed to take it back and get her a new one.  Fortunately, I was able to replace it.  Myles seemed to like the Lego blocks.  He is only 1.  He is almost walking now.  He can take a couple of steps by himself and walk if you are holding his hands.  He has 2 bottom teeth and 3 coming in.  Overall, I think it was a good day, well, as good as it could be with everything that is going on with the puppies and my aunt and uncle.  I left Esther's gift with Tillie so when Lia comes back down to Windsor, she can get it. Danielle is planning to see Kayla tomorrow so I think she was planning to take the gifts for Warren and Phoenix to give to them tomorrow.

Pain wise, the headache was really bad this morning and my whole abdomen hurt about 4 in the morning.  It was so bad.  It was like it was on fire.  I went down and took some Mylanta in case it would help.  Eventually 2 hours later, it did help some.  Since I can't take my Reglan right now, I do not have a replacement for it.  I do hope it doesn't happen again because it was horrible.

I hope the next couple of days are not bad for the headaches or stomachs.  I hope yours is good too.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Friday - 4 days until Christmas 12-21

In 4 days will be another Christmas.  It is still rather strange for me to realize that I am spending another holiday without my mother.  It just doesn't seem like I should.  I sometimes think I hear her in the house.  I know it is my imagination but still I hear her.  Sometimes I forget and look in her room for her.  Then I remember she isn't here, she's in Heaven.  I wonder how time goes on in Heaven.  Is it fast? Or Slow?  Is it anything like time here on Earth?  Can she see me?  Does she miss me?  These are the questions that I often wonder.  I don't think I will ever get used to Mom not being here.  From what my friends say, it is normal and I probably will not ever get used to her being gone.  I am not sure how Andrew or Richard are doing about this since they don't really discuss this type of stuff.

I only have 1 gift left to get and I will get it in Windsor on Sunday.  I have everything besides the gift for Andrew.  I will be wrapping gifts tomorrow.  I have the cutest wrapping paper ever!  They are super cute.  I even found something cool for my aunt and uncle too.  I got some gift certificates for Mr. and Mrs. Knight, Dan and Tracy Knight as well as Dan and Tracy's son.  He is such a cutie.  I have only seen him in pictures, not in person yet.  I hope I remember to bring my camera so I can take some pictures of both days.

It was so cold, rainy, and damp yesterday that I ache so much.  Today is better even though it snowed.  The snow was mostly on the grass so that is okay.  My car is back in the garage where it belongs.  I had such a headache last night.  Today is not as bad, thankfully, but I hope it improves and that it will be okay for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I am tired of the headaches limiting me from activities I like to do.  Mainly, I have missed so much choir practice and church from the headaches.  Well, hopefully the New Year will come without as many headaches.  That is my wish.  I think the medicine works a little bit but still not enough.  I will see the doctor in about a month or so.  If it doesn't get any better, than I will have to see her earlier than the appointment.  My hands are twitching a bit still but from what I have read it can be part of fibro.  They aren't as bad as they were so I am glad about it.

I am going to read for a bit before I go to bed.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

6 Days Before Christmas 12-18

I can't believe that Christmas is next week!!!  Oh my!!!!!  Wasn't it just Thanksgiving?  It sure seems that way.  I have a few things to get still, but mostly I am ready.  I will spend Christmas Eve with Kathy and her family at her parents and Christmas Day will be at my Uncle John's house.  Andrew will be there too.  I will have a few lessons between Christmas and New Years but not as many as I usually have.  It is to be expected.  I have a few plans for next week.  I am going to have the Muglia girls come and have a movie marathon.  Calli is also interested in attending.  I am not sure what will watch, but hey, it is spending time with the girls, that is what is important.

Two of my students, Dan and Mary, are planning to have their lessons next week Wednesday instead of Tuesday since that is Christmas Day.

I am not feeling so good now.  I think perhaps the white fudge oreos were probably not a good thing to eat.  I haven't had a lot of sugar in about 6 months so perhaps I should have had a few less than I did.  I think a salad would have been better and since I was craving sugar, an apple would have been a better choice.  Well, tomorrow is a new day and I can begin again.

Tonight is NCIS night.  I love these shows.  It is a Christmas Episode on NCIS.  I think on NCIS Los Angeles will be a Christmas Episode too.

Kathy has had a bad headache for a few days now.  I hope it has gone away for her.  I will find out soon.  With her working in the daytime now, figuring out a good time to call is a bit of a challenge.  I am counting down the days until I get to see her and the family again.  That would be 5 days until I will be able to spend time with her and her family.  I just need to wrap a few presents.  Yeah, I haven't done that yet.  We are going to church near her parents house and then after church we will go back and open presents.  I have to remember to have my scooter put back in my car since it is too far to walk to her parents condo from my car.  I hope the weather won't be too bad with a lot of snow.  I am liking this no snow season so far.  I don't usually mind it on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day because it doesn't seem like Christmas without it.

On Sunday I am heading over to my cousin, Maia's house for dinner.  I wasn't able to attend the family parties earlier in the month because my head was just too bad.  I think the new medicine is helping a bit.  I have gifts for the little ones and it will be nice to see Maia and Danielle's family.  Danielle's son, Myles is one year old today.  It seems like yesterday he was born.  He likes it when anyone is holding him.  He doesn't cry when I hold him which is good because Phoenix does cry when I pick her up.  Phoenix is about 6 months older than Myles.  Myles is the youngest member of the family.  Now that I have texting, I speak to Danielle a lot more than I used to.  It is nice to see how she is doing.

Tonight is a tea kind of night, I think.  I love Biglow's Decaffeinated Earl Grey tea.  Is really good.  I also like twinnings earl grey but not the decaffeinated one just the regular one.  I am going to finish watching NCIS Los Angeles and then read for a bit.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday 12-17

I saw the Doctor about the carpal tunnel.  I have no nerve damage in my wrists or neck, which is good. Although in light of news that I have received about Mrs. S it seems so insignificant compared to their news.  It breaks my heart that Chris and his family will be losing his mom.  How can this happen to him?  I know how heartbreaking this is.  I dread the day where anymore of my friends lose their parent or parents.  It almost seems like it makes my health issues so not as important.  I almost was embarrassed earlier today to give the news that there is no nerve damage.  I don't understand how doctors can not cure cancer, no matter what stage.  How can they not?  There have been so many advances in medicine that they should be able to fix Mrs. S and give her a longer life.  How do you even prepare if you are the one is dying?  I know theoretically that no one really knows when their live will end, but when you are faced with a general idea of when you will die how do you deal with it?  I remember when Mom was dying.  She was alert the first day and not the rest of the week.  She wasn't prepared to go at that point.  She asked me if I was taking her home.  I told her yes, but I meant Heaven not where we lived together.  I am thankful that mom really didn't know what was going on but Mrs. S does know what is going on.  It is just one of those moments when life reminds you of what is really important.

I just want to live in a bubble where everyone is healthy and lives forever.  I know, I am a dreamer.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Christmas Recital Day 12-16

The recital went really well.  I was pleased with how everyone performed.  I asked 3 former students to sing something in the recital.  Kelly Lynn, April, and Star all sang this afternoon.  The were remembering the concerts from when they were young.  Boy, I have changed how and what I teach so much since then.  I teach more classical music and Broadway music for singers and less, if any, pop, which is different from then.  I was nervous to teach more classical because the kids complained about singing it.  Now, complain all you want, but that is what I teach.  For my profile on Take Lessons, it flat out states that I mainly teach classical and Broadway music with very little pop.  I also tell parents that when they call to sign their children up.  I am much more comfortable with what music I teach now than I was when I first started.

My legs are a bit more sore than usual because of the extra up and down at the concert.  However, the good news is that I don't have the really bad headache I usually get after the concert.  I am so happy about that, that is for sure.  I do have a headache, but it isn't a super bad one like usual.

I received some very sad news today.  One of my friends from high school's mom is terminally ill.  She has stage 4 cancer and they can't operate.  They have suggested that she try chemo and radiation to shrink the tumors, but that is all they really can do.  It may give her a few more months or weeks.  My heart is broken for what Chris (her son, my friend) will be going through.  I have asked several of my friends to add her and the rest of her family to their prayer lists.  She is such a wonderful lady.  She is so strong in her faith and I think that will help sustain her.  When I needed to decide how mom was to be cared for, I remembered how Mrs. S took care of Darren, Chris's brother.  He had a brain injury that was quite severe.  She and Mr. S made the decision to keep Darren at instead of placing him in a home or a group home.  Mrs. S took really good care of him.  When I made the decision to keep mom here at home, it was a difficult decision.  I was lucky though because Mom was not angry or violent or belligerent in anyway.  Yes, she had her difficult moments, but over all, it was a better choice.  I am not sure what Mrs. S will do about the chemo or the radiation.  She may not do either.  She will be telling Chris, his wife, Bobbie, and their children in the next few days.  I can't even imagine how they will react and take the news.  I do know how awful it is to watch a parent die.  Despite the awfulness of watching it, I also would not have done anything really different that I did because I got to spend so much time with my mom.  I know that Chris and his family as well as Mr. S will be cherishing the time they have left with Mrs. S.  I have asked to be kept up to date as much as possible.  I have so many good memories of talking to her and being over with all our friends.  She is a very kind and thoughtful person.  My heart just aches for her family.  If you can, would you please pray for her and her family?  Thank you.

I did get several really nice gifts this afternoon.  I got a beautiful roses from Nina and her family.  I got the cat from Alice in Wonderland from Sammy and I got a beautiful throw blanket from the Muglia family.  There are a few students who did not get their gifts so I will be giving them it at their lessons.  It is hard to believe that Christmas is almost upon us.  It is only 9 days until Christmas.

I am going to make myself some tea and read before I head for bed.  Tomorrow is the test to see how my wrists are doing.  I am not quite sure what to expect tomorrow, but I hope to have some answers soon.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Friday 12-14

There are 11 days until Christmas.  I will be prepared when it comes, I just feel like time is rushing past me at full speed.  I am feeling a bit better over this twitching hands issue.  It could just be good old Fibro symptoms.  A couple of the people on one of the Fibro facebook pages that I belong to, say that their hands do the same thing so I am not as worried about them as I was.

It has been a rather quiet day around here.  I had a few lessons and I finished up the order for the concert on Sunday.  I will be finishing up the ornaments tomorrow with the last of them to do.  I have to paint their names and year it is on the front.  I am happy with how they are turning out.  Natalie and Hannah have created the covers of the program.  I am waiting on Natalie's now.  I already have Hannah's.  They are such great artists.  My former student and now a good friend, Star is teaching them.  All of them seem to get along so nicely.  The 3 of them have the love of Harry Potter between them.  Hannah and Natalie are improving they say so that is a good thing.  Star, Kelly Lynn, and April will also be performing in the concert.  All 3 are former students and I asked them if they were interested in performing.  All 3 said yes.  I thought it would be a nice thing for my current students to see what some of my former students were up to music wise.  Kelly Lynn is now a teacher just like me.  She and her sister, April perform together.  Star and Kelly Lynn were just recently in a musical a couple of months ago.  Star and April also have Fibromyalgia just like me.  I have added Star to a couple of face book pages that are for fibro people.  One of the pages really focus on nutrition, which I am glad about.  The other two are good for support.  It is really nice knowing that there are other people who have the same problems that I do.  I do like to see how different people get through their day and how the manage their symptoms.

I have 4 of my little cousins' Christmas presents.  I have Elizabeth (4), Warren (5), Phoenix (1), and Esther (2).  I know what I am getting Jayson (5) and Myles (1).  Jayson will get his on Christmas Day.  I hope to be delivering the rest of them next Saturday.  I am getting Andrew, my brother, a gift card because that is what he wants.  I will get my Aunt and Uncle a gift certificate too.  I am almost done with my students' gifts.  That will be done tomorrow.

I love my nook so much.  I was afraid that it would be too heavy to use but it works just fine.  I have already read 3 books on it.  It is definitely the way to go for me.  I do like the paper type books, but I do like the nook books too.

I think I am going to read for a bit and then head for bed.  I have 2 lessons tomorrow and then lots of sewing.  I also need to get the plates, napkins. and cups for the reception after the recital.  It will be awesome.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Day of the doctor appointment 12-13

I saw Dr. G this morning about the twitching and jerking motions of my hands.  He does not think that the problem with the hands are from the reglan medicine.  He thinks it is carpal tunnel.  He knows that I do have problems with my hands going numb so I have to have a test on Monday for it.  I am not having a good day today about it all.  My hands don't really hurt so I thought that was a symptom of carpal tunnel.

I think at this point I am just overwhelmed with everything today.  I am not done with the ornaments, almost done, but not completely.  The program is not done, although it is what I will work on next.  It is pretty easy to do.  I have all the songs listed, I just have to put them in order.  I have the program cover. Hannah drew it.  I am waiting on Natalie's picture now.  I am sure she will send it to me tomorrow.  I think I just need to go to bed early and have this awful day past me.

I hope your day has been better than mine.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tuesday 12-11

It was a quietish type day.  I got up a bit later than usual today.  I was just so tired.  I hope for a better night tonight.  I have the ornaments ready to sew.  Isaac brought up my sewing machine for me so I am ready to go tomorrow after I get up.  I have the little books together and I have the ribbons ready too.

I am hoping that tomorrow the package I am waiting for will arrive.  It has gifts for Warren, Esther, and Phoenix.  I picked up Elizabeth's last week and I know what I am getting for the other two little ones.  I just have to pick up a few gift cards and then I am done.

I have an appointment with Doctor G on Thursday about the jerking motion and the twitching of my hands.  I do think that they are a side effect of the reglan especially since my friend, Joanne had the same problem with reglan.  Part of me is freaking out though.  I honestly cannot handle something else being wrong with me.  I really can't.  If it is something else, I don't know what I will do.  I just am at a loss of what to do.  I am trying to do this one step at a time, but I am so unsure about what is going on.  Lynetta said that it should stop by Monday and today is Tuesday.  I have not had the reglan since Friday and my hands are the same.  So, is this the reaction for the reglan or is this something new?  I keep getting these thoughts in my head.  I am trying to be strong and believe that it will work out, but I am so tired of having so much wrong with me.

Memory Problems
Vasculitis - 1 episode
Blood Clot in Lung
High Cholesterol
Sleep Problems
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Macular Degeneration both
Panic Attacks
Scoliosis surgery 12-8-83

This is the list of what is wrong with me.  I don't want anything else.

I think I am going to read or play angry birds to get my mind of this issue.  I foresee going to bed earlier than usual because I am so tired.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

A medicine side effect or a new issue? oh my!

Last week, early in the week, I noticed my right hand would jerk without me moving my hand.  It would just tremor on its own.  On Thursday, I called the tummy doctor.  I left a message for the Physician Assistant that I usually soon.  She called me back on Friday with directions to cut back on the reglan to 1 instead of 3 a day.  It seems to have helped, but not totally.  I am going to give it a couple more days before I talk to Dr. Gradolph about it.  I hope it is just a side effect from the reglan and not a new problem.  I don't think I could handle another problem.  I really don't think I can.  I know that the tremors or jerking motion can really be because of the reglan as it is something that is checked every time I see the PA.  I usually have to go in every 3 to 4 months to check on the medicine.  I have been taking reglan now for about 4 years without any problems so I am wondering why would it be an issue now?  It is just annoying.

My lovely girls are coming over to help me with the sewing.  With the issues of my hands I have had a hard time sewing.  I hope it is better since the concert is next Sunday.  I don't know why I wait to the last moment for this stuff.  I am thankful that they are coming over to help.  I think it is still really hard to sew because mom and I did it together.  She is the one who taught me to sew.  We would work on projects together a lot.  I did sew projects without her but sewing still reminds me of mom so much.  Mom loved to sew and she was really good at it.  Her tailoring skills were awesome.  She could make a suit that you would think a fancy designer created.  I was good at fancy dresses and not as good as her in the tailoring skills.  I taught Hannah, Lydia, and Natalie how to sew.  They have learned the basics although Lydia has learned how to make several other things too.  Right now, Lydia would like to be a fashion designer.  Who knows if she will or not, she has 2 more years of high school so she has plenty of time to decide what she wants to be and where she will like to go for college.  Natalie and Hannah will be 17 next week.  That just seems impossible to me.  Sarah just turned 9 this September and Lydia will be 16 in February.  How fast time flies.

Maia is doing okay after her breast cancer surgery on Tuesday.  The surgery took longer than originally planned but she is safe and sound recovering at her mom's house.  I have called a few times to see how Maia is doing.  So far, okay, no complications.

Well, I am going to read for a while before bed.  I am rather tired tonight.  The new dosage of the headache medicine does give me dry mouth.  I need to remember to get some of that biotine spray that helps with that.  I hope I remember next week.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Thursday, Friday, Saturday 12-6, 7, 8


Today is another bad headache day for most of the day.  It isn't too bad tonight, but it certainly was earlier today.  I didn't think I could handle going to choir with this bad of a headache so I didn't go.  I hope tomorrow will just be the normal headache day.


I had 2 lessons this afternoon, Nina and Sean.  Both students are doing very well.  Nina is planning to play piano in the Christmas Recital while Sean is not.  Nina also wants to be an announcer for the recital.

After the lessons, I went and did some errands.  I did a huge Fibro Fog thing last night.  It did give me a chuckle, if you can't laugh at some of this stuff, you would go crazy.  So, I get ready to go, I have my coat on, my shoes on, and purse in hand.  I look in my pocket for my keys and they are not there.  I look in the other pocket, still no keys.  I look through my purse and no keys.  I looked on the table, the counter, any place they might be.  Finally, I looked in the door and sure enough, there are my keys.  Yeah, I forgot to remove them when I came in yesterday.  Thankfully, it was the inside garage door that I did this too so it wasn't like to the outside door.  Such a silly girl!

Calli and Heather B-T came over this evening.  She helped me with my hair and she braided my hair too.  Calli is a very helpful young lady.  Last night when Acer was finished with his lesson, he was being a bit silly and I don't remember what exactly I said, but his comment was that I am very attached to him.  It is true, I am attached to both Acer and Calli.  Acer was giggling when he said that.  Calli and I visited while she did my hair.  She is quite good at braiding and she will take it out and do it again if she thinks it isn't good.  There are days that I now forget that both are blind.  They are independent like all children that age.  Calli will be 13 on her birthday and in about a week or so, Acer will be 8.  Both are ready for the Christmas Recital.  After we finished my hair, Calli helped me to bring some dirty laundry down.  I need to get a bigger basket for my clothes.  I have the perfect size for the undie type clothes but not for the sweatshirts, t-shirts, and those type clothes.  I will try to get one next month with my monthly shopping.

I wasn't sure if my tramadol was actually helping.  I had thought that for a while.  Well, let me tell you, it does help a lot.  I ran out yesterday and forgot to go and get it refilled.  I had the new prescription of it.  Since I ran out, that means that I didn't have any last night or this morning when I got up.  Oh my, let's just say that I was super super sore.  I went to the store and got what I needed.  I have to use a scooter cart when I shop and when I got out of it to go to the car, I was so sore.  I was kind of walking really slow and I was hurting so much that a nice lady noticed and the man who was with her came and took my bags to my car.  I was very thankful.  One of the bags was rather heavy but the others weren't too bad.  I took my tramadol as soon as I got home.  It started working and I am back to the regular pain that I have everyday.  I will remember next time to take the new prescription to the pharmacy right away so that I won't forget and have to be without pain pills.  I won't be testing any of that anytime soon.

I have to work on remember that I have fruit in the house when I want something sweet.  I love the green apples that I have.  I don't have any junk food in the house.  I emptied it when I decided enough was enough with my weight.  Also, I now take a medication that makes it easy to gain weight, so I need to be even more vigilant about eating the fruit and veggies.  I picked up enough lettuce and tomatoes for the next few days for dinner.  I actually do really like salads as long as it isn't ice berg lettuce.  For some reason, that kind of lettuce gives me a tummy ache.  I like the Romaine Lettuce a lot. I can eat a whole heart of the lettuce for dinner.  I think by adding in another serving of veggies or fruit will help balance out the ease of gaining weight from the medicine.  I was not so vigilant when I was taking Lyrica.  I gained 80 pounds in 6 months on it.  It did help with the pain, but I couldn't handle the weight I was gaining.  For the last 5 or 6 years I didn't really care about my weight like I do now.  At first I didn't care because I was focused on taking care of mom.  She was my main concern.  It was very important to me that I take good care of her.  Yes, there were times when I failed taking care of her.  There were times when we both were frustrated with each other, but overall, I tried to make her life a good one.  After she passed away, I could barely function.  I was in survival mode as one of my friends told me and she was right.  I was going hour by hour.  I still miss her desperately, but most of the time I can think about her and smile.  There are days that it still physically hurts that she is gone but that is to be expected.  I am very thankful that I was the one to take care of her the last couple of years of her life.

I am going to make some pictures of her larger and put them in this awesome picture frame that I got for Christmas last year from my younger brother.

I am going to read for a bit or maybe play some angry birds game before bed.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Christmas Shopping! 12-5

I have been doing a bit of shopping the last few days.  Normally, I am completely done at this time but not this year.  I picked up something for Elizabeth.  I have something for Sammy, Matthew, and Jacob. I want to get something for Esther (I just have to order it), Myles, Phoenix, Jayson, and Warren.  Jayson and Warren are pretty easy to get and I do know what I want to get Myles.  I am not sure about what to get Phoenix.  She is about 15 or so months old at this point.

My cousin, Maia, had her breast cancer surgery yesterday.  She had the surgery at noon and was back at her mom's house about 8 or so.  The doctor got as much as he saw and he said it went well so that is good.  As expected she is very sore and tired.  I will probably be able to talk to her in a few days.  Obviously she really needs to rest so I won't be calling her yet.  This is step two for her in the cancer war.  Step three will be radiation.  I just know she is going to win this war.

Later today:

I just ordered the gifts for Esther, Phoenix, and Warren.  I will pick up Myles and Jayson's gifts next week.  I pretty much know what I am getting them.  The only one I can't figure out is Alicia, Kathy's daughter.  I usually am finished with getting gifts by November 1.  I really got to get back into that mode.  I look for gifts all year round and when I see something, I get it and put it away until birthdays or Christmas.

Lessons went well today.  The students are getting ready for the concert and so far several are almost ready for it.  I will start working on the order next week.  I won't actually print the program until the Friday before the concert.  This is because usually after I print the program, someone calls to change it around.  Natalie and Hannah are going to design the program covers.  They do a really good job so I expect this one will be nice too.

I am getting tired so I think I will finish my tea before heading to bed.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

a step closer to the 21st century 12-4

I had to get a new phone today.  I did add texting to it.  Because I have to be able to call Canada, I couldn't get the iPhone 4.  It isn't a big deal but it was a nice thought.  Maybe in the future I will be able to get an iPhone but I don't really need a data plan.  I have talking and texting.  That is all I need.  I am just figuring out the phone.  I am sure I will have it down pat in a few days.

The students did really well today for their lessons.  Sammy was absent because of too much homework.  She wanted to have a make up so Sammy will be here on Friday instead.

I went and purchased the quilting batting for the students' ornaments.  I just have to cut them out and then sew then.  I picked up the ribbon and the fabric paint I need.  I always put their names on their ornaments and the year they get it.

My headaches have been the regular headaches yesterday and today.  I am thankful that they are not bad or medium bad ones right now.  I hope tomorrow is good too.  The weather here has been rather insane.  Last week a couple of days were really cold then on the weekend it got warmer.  It is still been warm.  I am not complaining because I do prefer the warmer weather, not too hot, but it is nice out temperature wise.

It is time to read a bit before bed.  I have a few errands I need to do tomorrow before lessons at 4.  I need to pick up some books on Friday for Sean's lesson on Saturday.  He is really doing well.  I am quite please with his progress.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Monday - 22 days until Christmas!!!

Are you ready for Christmas???  I am not quite ready but I will be soon.  The tree that Heather B-T gave me looks simply beautiful.  The students did such a great job, they really did.  I have had such a time with the bad headaches that to even think about decorating was too much for me.  Fortunately, my girls who decorated last year wanted to do it again along with Acer and Calli.  The kids are wonderful.  Of course all my students are awesome.  They just are.  The tree is beautiful.

Today, Rachel had her lesson.  She has been absent for a couple weeks because her grandmother was out of town.  Rachel is ready for the concert.  She played her song perfectly.  I was very pleased with it.  Rachel is ready the first who is totally ready for the concert.  I would say that Isaac is the second one to be ready as he knows his song that he is singing very well.  I am pleased about that.  My 2 little ones were very wild today.  Rahul was repeating everything I said for part of the lesson.  I seriously hate when kids do that.  I asked him several times to stop and he didn't.  His mom was there and told him to behave, which he did listen to for a bit until near the end of the lesson when he started it again.  Sammy was somewhat better but he would day dream in the middle of a song.  Yeah, definitely not the best way to end the teaching day.  Fortunately, the don't usually act this crazy during their lessons.  They are such sweet boys when they are not being too wild.  I actually don't mind a little bit of wild, just a lot.  I know small ones can't always sit still so it doesn't usually bother me when they are slightly wild but this was wayyyyyyyyy more than slightly wild.  Both boys will be singing the song that I originally wanted everyone to sing but some of my piano students are having a bit of a problem so just my singers will be singing it along with Sammy and Rahul since they know it by heart.  I was completely floored because my piano students that are older are having trouble with the song and yet, these two little ones know it by heart.  There will be my 7 singers and my two little ones.  It should be awesome.

This week is the week I am working on the students' ornaments.  I need to get the batting tomorrow.

I had an appointment with the Rheumotologist this morning.  She said my joints are doing well but the soft tissue is swelling in my hands and legs.  We talked about weight loss and the bottom line is I need to lose the weight because eventually, the joints are going to be a problem.  I know this, that is why I started really watching what I was eating.  I also am going to try using my inhaler for asthma before I exercise and see if that will help.  Also, I am adding more veggies and fruit to my meals.  I am eating them, but I want them to be the main ingredients of my meals.  This is what I have begun to do.  I also have changed from eating white bread to healthy wheat bread.  I am cutting out white rice.  This is a bit of a challenge because I love chipotle and their rice is so good.  If I go for lunch or dinner, I will be cutting out the rice and focusing on the peppers and onions, tomato salsa, black beans and a very small bit of cheese.  I really like the tomato salsa.  It is so awesome that is for sure.  I will also be giving up the chips but that won't be too bad because usually I eat them way after lunch or dinner.  They are good but not that good.  They aren't worth putting more weight on or getting diabetes, or high blood pressure or anything else associated with being overweight.  I am glad that Kathy and Heather B-T are also working on losing weight so the three of use can do this together.  I am so proud of Kathy because she has started running, which she loves to do, and has lost over 30 pounds these past few months.  Some day in the future we will both have reached our goals.  For me, it could be a couple of years process as I so much more to lose that both Heather B-T or Kathy.  Heather B-T has lost some weight too.  I did and then I gained it back.  I need to be more careful because my nighttime headache medicine can cause weight gain so I need to keep track of that.  I have been working hard on making good healthy choices.  Sometimes I do good and sometimes I don't.

Well, time to read before heading to bed.  My headache isn't so bad today.  It is just the normal everyday headache today.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The first few days of December!!!!!!

Wow, Christmas is so close now.  It looks so far away before Thanksgiving, but now, it is almost here. I am not ready yet.  However, my house looks very festive.  The girls were here along with Calli and Acer to put up the tree and decorate the tree.  They also put other decorations in the dining room.  They did a really nice job.  I just watched as my headache was more than medium bad but less than super duper bad.  We got the tree from Heather BT.  It is about 4 to 5 feet tall and it is beautiful!  The lights that have not seen the light of day for about 10 years, actually work!!!  Yes!  Isn't that cool?  When Natalie went under the house in the crawl space, there were way more boxes under there for Christmas than I remembered.  I am glad I had her bring a lot of them up.  I have a box full of Christmas mugs.  a regular copy paper sized box.  I am going to trade out the Christmas mugs for the regular mugs.  I also need to switch the regular. everyday dishes with the Christmas dishes.  They are only on a higher up shelf in the cupboard so it isn't a big deal.  I love the Christmas stuff.  I will take pictures of the tree and the dining room tomorrow.  I am very pleased with how it looks.  It very nice of them to come over to do this for me.  They were all excited to decorate the tree and house.  All I did was to watch and relax.  Truly I have the best students.  The Muglia girls decorated my tree last year so they wanted to do it again this year.  They know along with Calli and Acer that I haven't been feeling too well this fall so to have them come and do this was awesome.  Peter and Sean emptied some of the attic a couple of weeks ago.  They did bring down some of the decorations that were in the attic.  I am not sure what is all up there, but we will look in the spring when the warmer weather comes.  The did bring down a lot of the camping supplies.  I told the boys that if the supplies were in good condition and usable, then they could have it.  They were so excited about the tents and stuff we found.  I was pleased that my tent was in very good condition and they love it.  I spent many days camping in that tent.  I know, a prissy girl who does not like to get dirty loves camping.  I know it is weird but true.

Tomorrow is an appointment with the rheumatologist.  I think it is just for a check up on medicine and the pain level of the fibro and arthritis.  I have to print out a paper that has all my medicines on it.  It is printing now.  I have a book to bring and read while I am waiting.  I really hope that I don't have to wait very long.  She is very thorough.  Dr. A likes to cover all the basis so I don't mind about the wait.  Besides, it isn't like I have to teach right away tomorrow when I am done.  I have a few lesson tomorrow.  It is a few weeks before the Christmas Recital.  I have to go and get batting tomorrow too for the ornaments for the kids.

Well, it is time to relax and read for a bit before I head off to bed.  I hope tomorrow is a better day with the everyday headache level and not above it.