Monday, April 28, 2014

When New Pain is Not Fibro 4-28

Last Thursday morning at about 3 am, I woke to some very, very, very sharp pain on the right side of my chest.  It was simply awful.  I knew it was new and different.  I knew it was NOT fibro.  There are no muscles in that area where it hurt to have fibro pain.  I had an appointment with my arthritis doctor that morning so I went as scheduled.  I hadn't planned on saying anything because well, this was my breast, not my arthritis but when she asked if there was anything new, I told her.  She instantly became concerned and asked to see it.  There seemed to be a bit of a discharge, clear, but she saw it.  I didn't but she did.  I was told if it did not stop within 24 hours I was to call my doctor immediately for an appointment.  It didn't stop so on Friday I made an appointment for Monday.  It DID finally stop on Saturday night so that was good.  As for the discharge, it stopped on Thursday.

So this morning, bright and early, and I mean bright and early for me (9:30 am) I got out of bed to be at the doctor's for 10:30 am.  Well, Dr. J examined me and I now have to go for a mammogram and an ultrasound.  She didn't make any diagnose or guess to what it could be, for which I am thankful.  I don't know if it is anything serious or not, but she is not saying anything until the studies are done.  I really appreciate that about her.  She gets the tests done, then she diagnoses what is wrong.  I really like this doctor a lot.  She did feel some fibroids and there was some pain when she examined me but the pain could have been fibro because if you touch my sternum or my ribs or anywhere around there too hard, it hurts because the lining of my lungs are always inflamed.  It is just the way they are.

May 14th is my appointment, thankfully at a relatively later time.  It must be done at the local hospital because it is a study that must be done.

It was a nice week, last week.  I had most of my lessons, which is nice since I had sooooo many absences for the month of April that it was a tight month, financially speaking.  I had a beautiful Easter weekend with Kathy.  I saw her on the night before Easter and on Easter Sunday.  The Saturday night was just her and I.  We went out to dinner and laughed and giggled the whole time.  It was lovely.  We went to Red Robins and lets just say, boy did I eat enough for 2 meals.  We had cheese sticks, cheese burgers, fries, and oreo shakes.  Yup, definitely too much food.  Then on Sunday, I went to her parents' house with her and her family for dinner.  Her mom is a great cook so dinner was really good too.  Kathy's kids seemed happy with the bag of candy I bought them.  Acer and Calli were happy with their I-tunes cards too so all in all, children were happy.  That is the main thing, happy children.  This weekend, Bill, James, and Heather cleaned out and organized the sun porch and the garage, or at least 1/2 of the garage.  It looks so nice with the stuff on shelves and everything.  Now we have to go through my boxes to see what we really need to keep and what I don't need to keep.  Because of tax purposes, I must keep some store stuff for 7 years so we are in year 6 after losing the store so in December of 2015, the boxes can be shredded and forgotten!  I can't wait.  No more store stuff.  It seems like a million years ago that I owned a music store.  I don't miss it anymore.  I don't even miss the busyness of it.  I also don't miss the 15 times I was in the hospital from November 2007 to February 2009.  I only owned it from February 2006 to August 2008 so it did take a major toll on my health that I had not expected.  I am much better now in the way that I can rest in between lessons, and I am so much less stressed over employees who wouldn't do their jobs or listen to how to do their jobs.  I am just glad it is finally over and will be even more when the last of the paperwork can disappear.

Yesterday, I went to Windsor to see Tilley.  It was mostly a nice visit.  A few complaints from her but not too bad.  I am glad.  The plan for Mother's Day is to have a potluck at her house.  It should be rather fun.  Andrew is coming too.  I haven't seen my brother since September so I look forward to seeing him.

As far as Fibro pain goes, nothing out of the ordinary right now.  It seems the breast pain has taken over the leg pain right now or at least during the day.  I still have leg pain at night.  I find one way I can uncramp my leg is to actually get out of bed and then climb back into bed to lie on the other side instead of rolling over.  Rolling over makes my leg hurt worse so this is better even though it is rather annoying  to have to get out of bed to lie on my other side.  Oh well, it IS better than the extra pain though.

My headache pain has been a bit increased due to the weather, I think.  I see my neurologist this Thursday.  It sure seems like I see all my doctors in one month.  I think we will be starting some other medicine because this stuff isn't really helping at all so onto something new.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

The never ending saga: Pain

Today is a high pain day for some of the joints and my headache is higher than normal.  It is because of the tramadol incident with the doctor.  I have some now, not from her, but I have some and that is what matters.  I should be back to my normal pain level by Saturday just in time to have a nice Easter Sunday with Kathy!!!!!  I am so excited to see her and her family!  I bought the kids their candy gifts last night. i didn't get much because I know they will get a lot more from the Easter Bunny.  I got Acer and Calli their gift certificates earlier in the week so that is good.  I am glad about that.  I don't get them candy because they get so much and I wanted to get them something else so I got them I-tunes gift cards since they both have ipods or iPhone.  It should be a good weekend all around so I am really looking forward to it.  I am not sure exactly what is going on on Saturday except a couple of lessons as far as I know but that will be fun.  This week has been a lot of absences because of vacations and things like that.  Last Saturday, both my students cancelled so that was bad and then Monday one more cancelled because she was still on vacation.  Fortunately, Memphis, from earlier in the week has rescheduled so I am pleased about that.  With tomorrow being Good Friday, I am not sure about cancellations either.  I hope my little boys don't cancel.  I have had so many cancel this week already, I don't want anymore besides, I really love my little ones.  They are so cute and are working so hard.  I love all my students.  They are a really good group right now.  It is a good thing.

We have contacted the city hall and the chief of the animal control shelter and so far, no go on the dog. So far, they all say that the guide/service dog counts towards the pet count although by the FHA law it shouldn't be.  I don't know.  Right now, I am just happy that Heather BT shares Maisy and I get daily hugs from her and that I can play with her everyday.  Whether or not I get my own at this time is up in the air.  I am waiting for an email reply to my email that I wrote a few days ago.

Lessons went well today.  Sarah started on "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from Frozen.  She is such a sweetheart and plays piano with such passion.  Isaac loves his solo for the spring concert and since we have now moved the date, he can attend, which is awesome because he and Acer are singing a duet that is so cool.  It is "Catch the Spirit".  I love that piece.  I really do.  Ally has chosen her clarinet solo, "In the Forest".  She is a beginner and is doing really well.  She is starting to get some of the beginning technique down pat.  She loves her song and that is good.  It is difficult to practice something you hate so I am glad she loves her song.  Ally also has to play something not from her book or something they haven't gone over in the book so her solo for the concert will be just perfect.  I am glad we have over a month until the concert.  With this extra pain, I just really feel like I am in a fog more than I usually do so I am so not up to date with music for the students or what I need to do to get ready for the concert.  So far, only 1 person cannot be in it.  There will never be a day where all my students will be able to be in a concert so I am not worried about that.

Well, I am tired and I think I am going to either read or lie down for a bit.  I just don't feel too well tonight.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Monday and the disappointment

After spending much time looking and looking for a dog of my own, I have found out that our township has a 2 dog limit per house.  Yup, 2, so basically, no more dogs in the house for us.  He was cute, he was small, his name was going to be Mozart, and he would have been mine but that is okay.  I will survive.  I still have the Maisy girl in the house.  Of course, there is also Q, Calli's guide dog.  Other than that disappointment, I am alright, not great today, but alright.  I am very achy today and yesterday was a wash as I spent most of the time in bed because of a bad headache.  It seemed to have run in the house as Heather BT had a bad one too.  Apparently, the Easter Cantata went well so that is good.

I can't believe that Sunday is Easter!  I am excited about it because it means, wait for it...yes, time with KATHY!!!!!!  (and crew)  I only for sure get to see her on holidays so I make sure that I set time aside. I spend Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Easter with her and her parents and family.  I am so excited!  I think you get the idea!  It will be very fun and cool.

I have had 1 lesson so far and only have 1 more tonight.  Jessie is such a cute girl.  She is 10 and so enthusiastic about piano.  I love that about her.  She loves to play and that really makes me smile.  She loves to practice and that makes me smile even more.  All in all, Jessie is such a joy to teach.  I hope she plays for a very long while.

It seems all my joints hurt today, my wrists, my elbows, my knees, my ankles, my hips, the works.  I am not sure if it is because I haven't had any tramadol today as I am out or what but ugh if that is what it is.  I am really hoping that it improves rather shortly as I am about to take some Advil.  I know Advil doesn't work as well as tramadol, but it is better than nothing.  I called the doctor and the pharmacist and it was a miscommunication between the two so hopefully by tonight it will be filled.  I just ache so much.  My head isn't too bad, considering, but ugh on the rest.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

ice cream day

Today was the ice cream celebration for my birthday!  It was lovely and several of my students and their families came.  I was quite excited about it.  One of my friends, Elle and her family also came.  It was a nice and joyous time with friends and students.  I received some very nice gifts too.  I got several gift cards that I truly appreciate.  I really need new sheets so that is one of my plans for the target and visa card.  I am not sure what color I want or if I want a color or not but that remains to be seen.  I just need new sheets so I can get rid of my old and stained ones.  If I can, 2 sets would be cool.  I also got a Tim Horton's gift card and a Starbucks gift card too so that is awesome!  Faith made me a blanket and a necklace (which I am wearing, the necklace I mean), Hannah drew me a picture.  She is an excellent artist.  Mary made me a bracelet that I am also wearing too.  I got a Hello Kitty basket with a Mickey Mouse dressed in a Lions football shirt holding a Lions blanket.  It is totally cool too.  I love all the gifts and I received beautiful cards too.  I will display them on the piano this week and next for the students to see.  They like that when I do that.  I was pleased with the turnout.  You never know because things creep up and families get busy but it was a lovely way to spend the afternoon.  Tilley and Lia were there also.  I was pleased with this too.  I hadn't seen either one of them in a while.  Tilley wants to know when I am coming over next.  I said I am not sure but I will definitely be looking now.  I know I will see her on Mother's Day but other than that, I don't know.  I have several Sundays coming up that I am off that I can go and see her so I will.  All in all, it was a nice afternoon.

My headache has been a bit worse than it used too.  I am not sure if it because of the change of weather now or because the medicine is failing.  I am not sure.  I will find out when I go to the neuro again next month.  If they continue to get bad, like they are, I will have to call and change the appointment to an earlier time.  I have several appointments in the next few months with doctors.  I have one this month with the arthritis doctor, in May with the neuro, and June with the Hematologist.  I am glad that I have a 2 1/2 month break until I see him again.  My blood is actually doing well and right now, I am not bleeding anywhere, which is good because all last summer by hemoglobin's were way down.  That basically means that somewhere in my body was bleeding.  We couldn't find out where, but somewhere.  Now it seems to have cleared up.  I don't know why, but hey, I am NOT complaining, not me, not this girl.

My leg wasn't as bad this morning as yesterday morning.  It was not so bad last night until around 4 am.  I had Calli plug my clock in at a different place so that I can see what time it is in the middle of the night.  I needed the plug it was originally in for my phone and the other one on that plug is for my nook.  So thankfully, the young lady did this for me.  She is quite helpful around the house.

I did have 2 lessons today after all, one with Acer and one with Calli.  Acer missed his lesson on Friday because of an activity so he had it today after I came home.  Calli is working on some music for the cantata at church so we went over that for her.  I love both of their voices and when they sing together, something magical happens.  It really does.  It is quite beautiful to hear their voices blend together.  When they are really working well together, they can give me chills.

I am going to see what is for dinner now.  I am getting a bit hungry.  Then I plan to go and read for a bit and relax.  I have some games to play on my nook.  I am playing words with friends.  I really like although, I am rather terrible at it, but I do enjoy it.  I have several games with my friends all over going.  Tonight is all about relaxing and hoping the headache goes down so I can get some sleep tonight.  Last night, my entire head was sore and it was so bad at times.  I think that is why my leg wasn't so bad for a while because my head took over.  It does that now and again.  More than I would like.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

leg pain

I didn't expect to have all lessons canceled today but they were, all 2 of them.  I don't teach that many lessons each day because I just can't.  Last week I over did it and was down for 2 days after that so yeah, it isn't worth doing that.  I have be careful.  It causes too much pain and over exhaustion to teach too much.  I marvel at the thought that 10 years ago I taught 60 students a week and now I struggle with 20.  Such a big difference now.  Some are even every other week so it isn't like I have 20 every week plus someone is always absent.  You have to count on that.  You cannot count on every student being at a lesson every single week.  It is just not realistic.  I love my students though.  I have great parents and great students that really work with me so I am extremely blessed in many ways.

Tomorrow is my birthday gathering at the local ice cream shop.  Oh, I have to send Mary the address.  Be right back.  I have to look it up.  There I am done and I have text it to her too.  I have to remember to bring her daughter's ipod with me because she left it after her piano lesson on Tuesday.  She and her brother, Dan are very sweet kids and are really good pianists.  I am quite pleased with their progress this past year.  They have really gotten into playing more and it shows.  I think most of my students will be there tomorrow.  We will probably fill up the place.  I don't mind as it is fun or the past 3 years it has been fun.  My friend, Candace will be there too.  I am not sure else either off hand, but I know there will be several.

My right leg was not doing well again last night.  Also, behind my right knee is very itching and sore.  I have put some powder on it hoping that it will help and it seems to have helped.  Because of my weight, sometimes these things happen.  It is annoying to have to get up and walk in the middle of the night but considering if I do not the pain is out of this world, I will do it.  It is the better end of the deal.

I have noticed that my head hurts from the back of my head to the front at night again.  It hasn't reached my neck so that is good, but the back of the head is really sore when I go to sleep again.  It was really bad in October, so much so that I ended up in the ER after it getting so bad I couldn't sleep.  That time, the pain had started at the neck and crept up until my whole head felt like it was going to explode.  Fortunately, it didn't explode, but you know what I mean!

Today's headache is just a bit worse than the usual one so it isn't too horribly bad.  Isn't it amazing how we can discuss pain like it is normal, which it is to us, like it is not that much of a big deal in a way?  I am not trying to minimize the pain in any way shape or form, I am just saying that sometimes we discuss it like there is no big deal.  It is a big deal and no person should have to live a life full of pain like we do, but we do.  I never imagined growing up that one day I would be able to say, Wow, I have had the same headache since March of 2003.  That is just insane!  I realized the other day, it has been 11 years since I have had a headache, every single day without a stop, without a break.  Crazy, isn't?  And I wonder why I doubt that as wonderful as my neuro is and she is wonderful, that we will ever find anything that will break the headache.  Even in the ER with the super strong, powerful migraine top of the line stuff, did not break it, it only lessened it.  I would like to wake up someday and be able to dance around my room saying, I don't have a headache.  That is my dream.  Will it ever come true?  I don't know.  I know so many of us have dreams like that, to wake up without pain.  I look at my friends who don't have pain and am awed at what they can do because I can't.  It just hurts to much.  Now I am luckier than many who have fibro and other pain conditions, I have a decent support set.  My best friend and housemates are very supportive of me and don't give me any problems when I am having a bad day.  They are very helpful.  My best friend, Kathy, is the best.  She really is.  If I need to cry, I can cry.  She knows me so well that I don't even have to say hello and she knows it is me crying.  Of course, I have known her since we were 3 and well that is almost 43 years now so that could have something to do with it.  But she is there as best as she can be for me.  My momma was also a great support for me.  Some of my family are good with support and others are not but that is the same with every family.

Maisy, the little Brussels Griffon dog, is sitting next to me right now sleeping.  She likes to look outside so she sits in here a lot.  She doesn't sit in here too much with no one in here.  Maisy is a person dog.  She likes her person or people (in this case her main person is Heather BT and then me) so she splits her time when we are both home between us.  It is very cute.  Maisy really lessens my anxiety.  I had thought about moving some boxes in the living room to new homes but I got overwhelmed and anxious because I have no idea where to put the stuff.  Then I thought, I will go and look through some drawers in my room as I could really use the room because my poor closet is so over full.  Well, I have to try on most of the clothes that are in there and I don't want to do that until May because of the weight I am losing.  I get weighed again in May.  That put an end to that.  That is when I came back down here and started writing my post.  It is much better of an idea!

Wow, this day has flown!  It is 5:30 already!  Of course, I slept in rather late because I was up and down so much with the leg pain last night.  But really, I don't get up until after 12 noon anyway on a regular basis.  I just don't.  I sleep as much as I can because I don't sleep that well.  If I get up early, I have to take a nap.  I woke up too late to take a nap.  Sometimes, I do take a nap just to pass the time too because I am in pain and I can't focus on anything even reading.  I am two-thirds finished with the book I am reading now, "The Last Heiress" by Bertrice Small.  I have read it before but I enjoy her books a lot.  They are interesting characters and strong women characters that I like.  I have another book by Alison Weir to start as soon as I am done with this one.  It is about Lady Jane Grey, the 9 day queen of England between King Edward (King Henry VIII's son) and Queen Mary (King Henry VIII's daughter).  Edward tried to change the order of succession that his father set down but it didn't work.  She didn't even want to be queen, unlike her sister, Katherine who did.  But I expect it will be an excellent book as every other book I have read by her has been just amazing!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Wednesday 4-2

I can't wait until Sunday.  I just can't.   This Sunday I am celebrating my birthday with my students at an ice cream place near by.  A few of my students started this after my mother died when I had commented that I had no one to celebrate my birthday with.  Hannah, Natalie, Lydia, and Sarah were like, of course you do!  You have us!  Wasn't that just the sweetest thing ever?  So ever since then we have been celebrating my birthday together.  My real birthday is next Tuesday on the 8th, and I will be here at home with a few lessons but that is okay.  I will have celebrated it with most of my students as to my surprise, most are planning to come!!!  I am so excited about this!  I have the best students and their families are the greatest.  I am very, very blessed this way.  It is a great way to celebrate, I think.

It has been a better week this week than last.  I was starting to get a cold on Wednesday last week, when, wham!  It hit me hard on Thursday and I had to cancel all lessons for Thursday and Friday.  Basically, I was in bed for both days all day and all night long.  I couldn't help it.  I just was.  I was much better on Saturday when we all went and celebrated Star's birthday with her.  We went to tea at Barnes and Noble and then she came back to the house to hang out.  Acer was very excited about this as he showed her all his stuff and then they played together.  Calli was also happy to hang out with Star.  They both really like her and they know that she really likes them.  Star made us dinner too and boy was it tasty!  It was vegetarian as Star is a vegetarian and it was simply wonderful.  Bill had some for lunch yesterday and he said it was so good.  She is a very good cook.  Then I took her home and came back to go to sleep.

Sunday was just a quiet day here at home.  I got things ready for teaching, I took a nap as I was still tired from the cold, and just rested a lot.  I still have the endings of the cold but it is almost gone.  My head is still a tad bit stuffy but I can breathe out of my nose no problem now.  Thankfully, it didn't get to be a bad one, just a couple of days one.  I have been lucky about that this year because last year or was it the year before?  I can't remember, one of the two, I got several that were week long colds and they were miserable, simply miserable.

The other "event" that is coming up is a master class for my voice students.  My friend, LaKedria is going to give a class to all my singers.  I have never attended a master class so this is rather new to me too.  I am so excited though because she gets invitations to teach all over the country and here she is coming to my little studio to teach my students!  Talk about awesomeness!  It is pretty awesome!  This will be next Saturday.  So far all of my students but 1 are planning to attend.  I think we will all learn something good.

Pain wise, it hasn't been too too bad this week.  I think the extra pain medicine in the cold medicine does help with head pain a bit.  Despite the cold, I didn't get a super bad headache with it so I was happy about that.  I still am having major problems with my right leg.  It just gets so sore at night.  I even have to get up and walk to the bathroom and back whether or not I need to use the bathroom.  I have to walk that far to get the pain out of the leg so I can go back to sleep.  It is very annoying and sometimes upsetting to me as it wakes me up and it hurts so much.  I even have to go and get some Advil (of which I am not supposed to take because of the coumadin - but Tylenol doesn't cut it) in the middle of the night sometimes.  It gets that bad.  I suppose if I could take more tramadol that would help but I can only take 2 with lunch and 2 at bedtime.  You would think the bedtime ones would last but they don't always.  It isn't everyday that I do this but it is close to everyday.  It just gets so frustrating to me.  I shouldn't complain though because it could be both legs and it is only the right one but sometimes I just need to vent.  I do get so tired of not sleeping through the night.  Thankfully, I know I am not the only one and that I have friends that totally understand what I go through because they do too.  That makes me feel so much better, knowing I am not alone in this.  It is comforting know that I have friends who also are going through the same things, although I wish they weren't too.

Well, on to reading before my lone student, Isabella.  She is a pianist and she is sooooo good.  I love hearing her play.  I have told her that I could listen to hear her play all day.  She smiled and said, I don't think my hands would let me play all day.  Her dad agreed with me.  She is just a lovely musician who plays with such passion.