Monday, October 15, 2012
I hate this month. I have since 2010. This week just upsets me beyond words at time. 2 years ago at this time I was watching my beautiful mother die. It was the hardest thing because I couldn't fix her and I wanted her fixed. I didn't want her to go. I only wanted her to stay. I would have done almost anything to keep her here with me. I asked about what they could do and they said there wasn't anything that they could do. I just miss her so much. Add family issues to the incredible sadness at this time of year, I wonder how I can get up at all. Some days, I just want to stay in my nice warm bed and not face the day. It isn't as bad at times as it used to be, but some days it is really hard. I just wish that I could sleep through all of October, maybe someday it won't be so bad. Today is just a bad day.