so much to say and I don't know how to say it

It has been a painful couple of days both emotionally and physically.  I don't know that when I am upset, my physical pain goes right along with it and boy, has it.  I have a headache today but the body aches are bad.  I didn't get up until 2 pm.  My legs were so sore at that point so I looked at my clock and no wonder, it was 2 in the afternoon!  So I got up and ready for the day.

I have 3 lessons for the day of which I am very thankful.  Lessons make my day so much better.

I have been thinking about happiness and how we go about getting it.  I am basically a happy person.  Yes, I was upset and grieving deeply when my mother died, I grieved deep and very hard.  It took a few years before I was better about it.  I will say that I have days where I still grieve deeply for her.  I miss her all the time and everything reminds me of her.  Since we were together all the time for the last several years of her life, how could things not remind me of her?  We were always together.  I brought her everywhere with me.  It was just better that way.  Anyways, I am basically a happy person.  I don't believe another person can make you happy but I do believe that they can add and subtract from your happiness.  I think it is a choice, at times, to be happy.  Yes, I also believe that there are many things around you that influence your choice of whether to be happy or sad.  Right now I have some decisions that need to be made and they are hard ones but they need to be made.  That is difficult for me because I have a hard time with conflict.  I generally will do anything to avoid conflict but this is getting to me and I have to do this.  I need prayers with this.  I also need the words of what to say.  It is important to me that I say these things right and not angrily or hurtful.