Friday, August 28, 2026

 It looks so beautiful outside.  The sun is shining and the trees rustling their leaves in the breeze.  Naturally, these trees are growing right where they should not be, however, I love the trees.  I really do.

Wednesday was an awful day for me.  Simply horrible.  For the last several weeks, I have had major problems with sleep.  I can't sleep until dawn many nights.  I do not know why.  I am not worried or anxious about the procedure as it will be very similar to the one I have already had.  I have a general idea of what to expect, of which I am very thankful for.

So, back to Wednesday morning.  I barely slept as had been my usual for a while.  C had a doctor appointment first.  That went well and without any problems.  Then came the drive to our neurologist's office.  That was when the issue began.  I was fine at first until I wasn't.  I fell asleep for about a minute and i crashed my car.  We were okay physically, me, not so much emotionally.  The owner of the truck didn't even stop at all.  I guess he didn't have much damage to his vehicle.  There isn't a whole lot damaged to mine either.  It is more of I can't believing that I fell asleep while driving!!  This is terrible!!  After a few minutes, I drove us home.  I was extremely tired.  I fell asleep in my chair then went up to my room to go to bed.

Yesterday was a bit better.  I stayed upstairs mostly.  C brought up the laundry she was working on.  I folded the laundry and put it away.  My room is looking better and better every week.

2 days until my ablation of the kidney.  I wonder how long it will take to have the extra nausea, fatigue, and pain to go away?  Soon, I hope.

August 24, 2026

C has been home for a whole week now!  I am so glad she is.  I think all of us are.  Tonight, right before B went to bed, I asked him about getting shelves instead not the long dresser we use as a side board.  He looked and asked me, what is the problem I want solved.  I said I really do not like how the center of the dining room table does not line up underneath the chandelier.  B said okay.  What if you and C switch places at the table then we can move the table to where you would like it.  We both said that will work. C has done a lot of work this week, let me tell you.  The corner of doom next to where I sat is now gone.  The stove and the sink safe wonderfully clean.  I have tried to keep up with the filling of the dishwasher and starting the dishwasher. C has made some awfully yummy and healthy meals too.

My goal between now and a, hopefully, full recovery is to teach about 4-5 lessons a week.  It will really help my brain stay much calmer and not go crazy like it can.

7 Days to Ablation!!

August 22, 2026

Today was long.  I did have one lesson, so that was good.  Sleep is so elusive for me these days.  I can't sleep.  My brain will not stop.  Much of my brain knows that after the Ablation the tumor will die and be absorbed by tissue around where it was.  The other part of my brain is so anxious and absolutely terrified about how will my body handle one mure thing to recover from.  

A couple of nights ago, I was texting with Kathy about our dream Walt Disney World Vacation.  Kathy said 3 weeks in a deluxe hotel so that we could enjoy the parks and the resort too.  I wanted 9 character Dining Meals because I love them.  I wanted to be able to celebrate my mother there on October 18th.  That was the day she passed away.  I also thought she would enjoy their Not So Scary Halloween and I really Enjoyed the Mickey and Minnie Christmas Party.. 

By morning I thought I would call and see just how much our fantasy Disney Vacation. I received the preliminary cost.

tomorrow, I plan to work on the music library.  Currently, I am working on the vocal library.  Mostly, at this time I am recreating the library more so than building a brand new one.  I also need to file all the books and sheet music with the numbers instead of the type.  It will be so nice again to know what I don't have.  I am using the same numbers that have been used before.  The orgiinal ones that my mother had assigned them.  

A New Diagnose

 About a year ago, when I had yearly scan of my kidneys, A new mass showed up.  The first CT scan results were inconclusive.  That was about October 2025. In March, I had another CT scan.  It did come back negative, except for one test.  I had a biopsy and it came back positive.  I have Renal Cell Carcinoma.  This diagnose did answer a few questions on some symptoms i have been having.  I have pain my side a lot of the time, i am so much more exhausted than I was, and the extreme nausea.  I am nauseated 24/7/365, but this is worse.  

I will have a procedure on the 31st that will freeze the mass and that will kill it. I had another choice, surgery.what comes after, I have no idea. I will find out after.

My anxiety has moments of being almost calm, well as calm as I can get.  My cousin K, is coming with me to all my appointments.  That was a huge relief.  She took notes at the appointment with the doctor who will be doing the procedure.  I am falling asleep right now.as I write this, so I am ending this and going to bed. 

Here is a fun Peony picture!!