Saturday, April 5, 2014

leg pain

I didn't expect to have all lessons canceled today but they were, all 2 of them.  I don't teach that many lessons each day because I just can't.  Last week I over did it and was down for 2 days after that so yeah, it isn't worth doing that.  I have be careful.  It causes too much pain and over exhaustion to teach too much.  I marvel at the thought that 10 years ago I taught 60 students a week and now I struggle with 20.  Such a big difference now.  Some are even every other week so it isn't like I have 20 every week plus someone is always absent.  You have to count on that.  You cannot count on every student being at a lesson every single week.  It is just not realistic.  I love my students though.  I have great parents and great students that really work with me so I am extremely blessed in many ways.

Tomorrow is my birthday gathering at the local ice cream shop.  Oh, I have to send Mary the address.  Be right back.  I have to look it up.  There I am done and I have text it to her too.  I have to remember to bring her daughter's ipod with me because she left it after her piano lesson on Tuesday.  She and her brother, Dan are very sweet kids and are really good pianists.  I am quite pleased with their progress this past year.  They have really gotten into playing more and it shows.  I think most of my students will be there tomorrow.  We will probably fill up the place.  I don't mind as it is fun or the past 3 years it has been fun.  My friend, Candace will be there too.  I am not sure else either off hand, but I know there will be several.

My right leg was not doing well again last night.  Also, behind my right knee is very itching and sore.  I have put some powder on it hoping that it will help and it seems to have helped.  Because of my weight, sometimes these things happen.  It is annoying to have to get up and walk in the middle of the night but considering if I do not the pain is out of this world, I will do it.  It is the better end of the deal.

I have noticed that my head hurts from the back of my head to the front at night again.  It hasn't reached my neck so that is good, but the back of the head is really sore when I go to sleep again.  It was really bad in October, so much so that I ended up in the ER after it getting so bad I couldn't sleep.  That time, the pain had started at the neck and crept up until my whole head felt like it was going to explode.  Fortunately, it didn't explode, but you know what I mean!

Today's headache is just a bit worse than the usual one so it isn't too horribly bad.  Isn't it amazing how we can discuss pain like it is normal, which it is to us, like it is not that much of a big deal in a way?  I am not trying to minimize the pain in any way shape or form, I am just saying that sometimes we discuss it like there is no big deal.  It is a big deal and no person should have to live a life full of pain like we do, but we do.  I never imagined growing up that one day I would be able to say, Wow, I have had the same headache since March of 2003.  That is just insane!  I realized the other day, it has been 11 years since I have had a headache, every single day without a stop, without a break.  Crazy, isn't?  And I wonder why I doubt that as wonderful as my neuro is and she is wonderful, that we will ever find anything that will break the headache.  Even in the ER with the super strong, powerful migraine top of the line stuff, did not break it, it only lessened it.  I would like to wake up someday and be able to dance around my room saying, I don't have a headache.  That is my dream.  Will it ever come true?  I don't know.  I know so many of us have dreams like that, to wake up without pain.  I look at my friends who don't have pain and am awed at what they can do because I can't.  It just hurts to much.  Now I am luckier than many who have fibro and other pain conditions, I have a decent support set.  My best friend and housemates are very supportive of me and don't give me any problems when I am having a bad day.  They are very helpful.  My best friend, Kathy, is the best.  She really is.  If I need to cry, I can cry.  She knows me so well that I don't even have to say hello and she knows it is me crying.  Of course, I have known her since we were 3 and well that is almost 43 years now so that could have something to do with it.  But she is there as best as she can be for me.  My momma was also a great support for me.  Some of my family are good with support and others are not but that is the same with every family.

Maisy, the little Brussels Griffon dog, is sitting next to me right now sleeping.  She likes to look outside so she sits in here a lot.  She doesn't sit in here too much with no one in here.  Maisy is a person dog.  She likes her person or people (in this case her main person is Heather BT and then me) so she splits her time when we are both home between us.  It is very cute.  Maisy really lessens my anxiety.  I had thought about moving some boxes in the living room to new homes but I got overwhelmed and anxious because I have no idea where to put the stuff.  Then I thought, I will go and look through some drawers in my room as I could really use the room because my poor closet is so over full.  Well, I have to try on most of the clothes that are in there and I don't want to do that until May because of the weight I am losing.  I get weighed again in May.  That put an end to that.  That is when I came back down here and started writing my post.  It is much better of an idea!

Wow, this day has flown!  It is 5:30 already!  Of course, I slept in rather late because I was up and down so much with the leg pain last night.  But really, I don't get up until after 12 noon anyway on a regular basis.  I just don't.  I sleep as much as I can because I don't sleep that well.  If I get up early, I have to take a nap.  I woke up too late to take a nap.  Sometimes, I do take a nap just to pass the time too because I am in pain and I can't focus on anything even reading.  I am two-thirds finished with the book I am reading now, "The Last Heiress" by Bertrice Small.  I have read it before but I enjoy her books a lot.  They are interesting characters and strong women characters that I like.  I have another book by Alison Weir to start as soon as I am done with this one.  It is about Lady Jane Grey, the 9 day queen of England between King Edward (King Henry VIII's son) and Queen Mary (King Henry VIII's daughter).  Edward tried to change the order of succession that his father set down but it didn't work.  She didn't even want to be queen, unlike her sister, Katherine who did.  But I expect it will be an excellent book as every other book I have read by her has been just amazing!

1 comment:

  1. Hope & Pray you leg is feeling better today...have Fibro myself & know it's literally a pain in the everything...nice blog y'all have.
    Hugs & Prayers....