Wednesday, May 7, 2014

One answer to a test

I had some blood tests last week and I had to redo one because the levels were high.  I was unable to shower or touch my chest before the blood test and I had to fast for this test.  Well, the results were the same, high.  I have proactinemia.  I have to take some medicine for the rest of my life to keep the levels normal.  It is caused by a tumor in one of my glands.  Usually, the tumor is not cancerous.  I have to see a new doctor.  He/she will decide if I have to get an MRI to see if it is cancerous.  The doctor said not to worry about the tumor at all, so I am not.  I will have a mammogram and an ultrasound next week to see what the fibroids are in my breast.  I already have the thing where the lining of my lungs are inflamed.  I have pain there all the time, it is normal.  The pain I had a couple of weeks ago was something I have never had nor have had since.  I am not looking forward to the mammogram.  They hurt no matter your size.  I have come to that conclusion, it doesn't matter whether you are big or small, it hurts to be squeezed like that.  The ultrasound will hurt if they press to hard because of the lining of my lungs pain.  All in all, I am not looking forward to that day but I am looking forward to the answers.  One good thing is that I have not had the super sharp pains since those couple of days.

My normal headache is a little above normal pain levels right now.  I am tired.  I got up earlier than usual to meet my friend, Jen for lunch.  I love how we meet every 2 to 3 months to catch up on each other's life.  We had 2 wonderful hours together that were full of laughter and much chatter.  I showed the new pictures I took of Maisy, the little Brussels Griffon Dog and she showed me pictures of the kids.  She has 4 children, ages 12, 11, and 4.  The 12 year olds are twins.  It was a fun time.  Jen is also in book club with me too but she will be unable to make it next week as she will be out of town.

This Sunday is Mother's Day.  I get so sad on this day as my momma passed away in 2010.  I don't know if my younger brother is going to her grave or not but I just can't.  I don't know if I will ever be able to see it in person.  I have seen what the stone looks like in pictures.  Every year, he plants new flowers but I just can't go.  She isn't there, I know that.  But still, I just can't deal with it.  I have a hard enough time with her birthday, the anniversary of when she died, and Mother's Day that adding to go and see her grave puts me over the limit of what I can handle.  So, I will spend Mother's Day with Star and her mom.  We are going to tea and it shall be fun.  We will remember her grandmother, who passed away last year, and my momma.  I miss mine so much.  I don't think there is a day go by that I don't think how much I miss her.  I miss the momma she was before Alzheimer's and the momma she became with Alzheimer's.  I was her caregiver and I am glad was.  There was good times and bad times during my caregiver days but overall, it was good and I am really glad I got the chance to spend all that time with momma.  It is something I will never regret.  I just wish I got to spend time with her now.  Alzheimer's took so much away from her and from us but then again, is there any disease that doesn't take something away?  I don't think so.  I think all diseases take something away from the person who has it.

Saturday is my friend's wedding.  Kathy will be there!  I am so excited to see her at the wedding!  It should be lots of fun!  I think so anyway.  I am hoping that my head will be in good shape and that I will be well rested to attend the wedding and the reception.  I generally avoid receptions because of the sensory overloads but with Kathy there, I just have to go.  My wanting to spend more time with her out weighs the sensory overload watch level.  I may pay for it on Sunday but as I am going to tea later in the day, I will have time to recover and if I need to cancel, they would totally understand but I think I am planning the couple of days well.

Well, it is almost dinner time.  I have to go and pour the milks for everyone.  That is my job.

1 comment:

  1. so, you are the official milk-pourer!!
    I know how hard all those special mom days are for you. I can't go to my mums grave either, she's not there, at least not the part of her I choose to remember.
    hope your mammo isn't too bad and you get a good report.