A Day in the Life

A day in the life of... hmmm... me?  I don't know.  It sounded neat so that is the title for this post.  Not much is really happening tonight.  I had 3 lessons and both Calli and Tasha practiced piano so there was music all over the house.  Now, I am at my desk in the music room with Peony by my side.  She is such a tired girl today as she took a long walk to get her nails trimmed.  Peony must inspect everything so she goes from side to side instead of walking straight ahead.  It is kind of funny but it is something that has to be worked on.  Her nails are nicely trimmed now so she won't scratch us anymore.  Q's were done too.  Heather BT took Peony on a bike ride in the new basket she has for her but she jumped out and ended up hanging on by her harness.  Heather BT stopped the bike right away so Peony could get back into the bike basket.  Basically, it did not turn out as planned so on to plan B for them.

I haven't ridden a bike in so long.  I don't even think at this point I really remember how to balance myself.  I don't have a bike either so it isn't like I could try.  I used to like riding my bike everywhere, even when I could drive.  When I worked at Arby's, I would often ride my bike to work.  I really enjoyed it a lot.  Then I got in an accident and that really ended the bike riding for me.  Also, I started going straight to dance from work and couldn't ride my bike there anymore either.  I began to spend a lot more time at the dance studio.  I think at one point I was there 6 days a week for about 7 years.  Sunday was the only day I wasn't and that was the day I did my homework as I was in college at that point.

I am pretty achy in the hands today.  I am not sure exactly why but I am.  I am also really tired but that I do know why.  I was out late last night and I had an early appointment this morning for an ultrasound and blood test.  That is why I am so tired.  I did take a nap when I came home but interrupted sleep isn't always good sleep.  I was pretty awake most of the day, I am just now getting tired.  I think Peony has the right idea, sleeping.  The ultrasound was for the lump on the right calf.  It is about the size of 3/4 of a golf ball.  It doesn't really hurt or anything, it is just annoying that it is there and my legs are lumpy enough so to add that makes them even lumpier.  I don't expect it to be anything but it is best to have it checked just in case especially with my history of lumps and masses.  In September, I have to have the old right kidney checked out again to make sure it is still not cancer.  I have to have a CT scan and drink that iodine water and possible another biopsy since there are clear cells present.  Clear cells can be cancer.  At this point, mine are not, but Dr. G (the kidney one) said most likely I would have to have another biopsy to double check that they have not grown into cancer cells.  I am okay with the checking of that.  I know that it is rare for women to get kidney cancer but that doesn't mean they don't get it, they just don't get it as much as men do.

It is so peaceful here tonight.  Peony and I are the only ones home right now.  I am enjoying the peace although I do enjoy when everyone is home.  I think I am going to take advantage of the peace and quiet and go and read for a bit before heading for bed.  I foresee going to bed a bit early since I am so tired today.

I think of all the symptoms that comes with fibro, besides pain, maybe even more than pain, it is the fatigue that gets me the most.  I am so tired all the time.  I feel like I am always going against the wind.  I always feel like I need a nap even when I just wake up.  I constantly yawn.  I am never totally with it. I am never fully or wide awake, never.  I could sleep wonderfully and still need more.  I feel like I don't sleep at all most nights.  I wake up so often that sometimes I wonder why I try to sleep at all.  This constant battle with fatigue is so awful.  The pain is bad enough, I can ignore it at times, even the everyday headache, but it is so hard to ignore how tired I am.  Some days, I feel like I am walking through mud just going from my room to the bathroom.  It just shouldn't be like this.  It really shouldn't.  Nothing that should help me sleep works either.  I have tried all the sleep medications and either they did nothing or I got nightmares from them.  I do take Tylenol PM now, which helps some for the first part of the night.  I am grateful for that, but medicine that says it may make me drowsy, I laugh because they don't or rarely do.  I would love a medicine that actually put me to sleep and stayed asleep for 8 hours with waking up refreshed.  I haven't had that in so long I forgot what that is like.  Still, I know it could be worse.  I could not sleep at all and that would be worse.

Well, off to read.