Saturday, December 5, 2009

Not much happening today, just the usual lesson.  It is Aggie's opposite week so she isn't having a lesson today, just Lily who was in a really good mood.  She usually is a happy girl, but today was just happier than normal.  It was a very fun lesson.  Mom was teasing her too.  She does so well with Mom.

I am going to get a gate for the front door so Mom can't get out.  Kathy has a couple (at least one for sure, maybe two).  She thinks she has a longer than a door one that I can put at the top of the stairs at night so Mom won't go down without me.  I explained it to her and she seemed to understand for now anyways, she will forget soon but I will remind her again.  That's what I am here for.  She is a happy girl today too.  Lily always brightens her up, most of my students do.  We are going to see Lily in her play Wednesday night.  There is a concert earlier before the play apparently so we will go a bit early to see the little kids.  Mom will like that.

I have to really decide what I want to do with my life.  Right now, I am just existing and getting by.  I don't like that feeling so I have to find new dreams.  I think when I lost the store, I lost my dreams.  So now I need new dreams.  Just existing to take care of Mom is not good.  I know she doesn't have any goals anymore, except to help me with mine.  I thought a lot last night about it.  I want to do what I originally planned before we lost the store.  Open a music school.  Right now wouldn't be good, but that doesn't mean I can't work on the details of it.  I don't want a store again.  I am not into the whole renting and selling of instruments, but I loved the teaching part of it.  That is what I lived for and the reason I got up in the morning.  I live for the moments I get to teach.  I am going to continue what I am doing right now, teach a few lessons, hopefully as the economy gets better I will get some more students and then open a school once things have improved.  There wouldn't be any point to it right now because lessons are so down because, I mean, really, a choice between lessons and paying bills, right, paying bills wins and I understand that.  But in the future!  A new school.  So I will begin the paperwork that I need to do: business plan, marketing plan, 501 c 3 papers (I plan to open a not for profit one - that way you can work with the libraries and the schools easier) so that in a year or 2 I will be able to move to a small building and begin.  I have enough experience with this, I just need the economy to accommodate my plans.  So that is the new goal and dream, that I can do.  Then, I won't need disability too, I will be able to support myself and Mom, not fancily, but enough for a vacation once a year, unlike now.  I feel so much better now that I know what I am going to do with my future.

It is suppose to snow soon, ugh!  (except for Christmas Eve and Day, of course)  I hope you are having a great day!

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