Halloween 2012

My least favorite holiday is almost over.  I don't like Halloween.  I just don't.  It doesn't have anything to do with religion or anything like that.  I just don't really like it.  Mom really liked it when we were small and she passed out the candy for the last few years of her life.  She loved the little ones costumes. I like the little ones costumes too, but it is too cold to sit outside and I can't stand long enough to pass out the candy so I hide inside.

Tomorrow is November.  The hated October will be over although it wasn't as bad as I feared.  I did okay on the anniversary of Momma's passing.  It was a few days before the anniversary that I was a wreck for a bit.  It is hard to think about the little lady's last week without tears at times.  In my mind, I can still see her lying on the hospital bed in the hospice unit.  Her little feet were propped up on pillows so she wouldn't get sores on her ankles.  She had one on her tailbone and I know at one point when they moved her she was in pain.  I saw her cry, which, of course, made me cry too.  The nurse came right away to give mom some pain medicine.  They had to move her every 2 hours so she had some one checking on her all the time.  That was one of the reasons I had her moved to the hospice unit instead of at home.  I am thankful for the time that I did have with her.  I have lots and lots of wonderful memories that I would have missed if I hadn't been the one to take care of her.  I always knew it would be me.  I don't know why, I just knew.  I remember when I was 19 and she got into a horrible car accident.  She had a car broadside her and pushed the passenger side of the car to the middle of the car. It was a true miracle that she lived through that.  I took care of her then.  At that time, Momma and I were not getting along, not one bit but that didn't matter.  She was in the hospital for about 5 days and then the doctor asked me about who would be taking care of her.  I said I would be.  He gave me very careful instructions that I took extremely serious.  Momma was home for 6 weeks recovering.  When she first came home, I had to get some comfortable clothes for her.  I bought about 4 sweatsuits for her. I thought that the fleece would be much more comfy for her.  I picked some really cute ones in lots of pretty colors.  While Momma was recovering, we didn't argue or raise our voices at each other at all.  Of course, once she was fine, we started arguing again.  We are so much a like it is scary, which is why I think we argued a lot when I was in high school and college.  I took taking care of her so very seriously.  I remember one day near the end of her 6 weeks at home, she wanted to go downstairs for dinner.  Well, the doctor didn't want her going up or down the stairs at that point because of her head injury.  I told her she couldn't go downstairs.  She said she wanted to.  I said she couldn't and if she did I was calling the ER doctor and she would have to be re-admitted to the hospital.  Needless to say, I won that argument.  It is just kind of funny to think about a young 19 year old saying no to her mother. Our doctor said I did a good job taking care of her.  I wasn't surprised because how could I not take good care of her.  She was my mother.

Anyways, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving next month and then Christmas.  As far as I know, I am planning to go to Kathy's parents' house with Kathy and her family for both holidays.  My family is having 2 parties before Christmas so that is good.  Usually the day after or a couple days after Christmas Uncle John and Aunt Michelle have a family dinner that both Andrew and I go to.  I will check into that in the weeks coming.  I also will be starting the ornaments for the students and family for Christmas.  I sewed with Aggie and I wasn't sad.  Sewing was something I did a lot with Mom and before the costume that Aggie needed, it upset me to try to sew.  It doesn't bother me right now though.

I think that I am going to ask the girls to come and decorate again this year.  I need them to also go into the attic and get down the decorations that are up there.  I know there are several boxes of them.  What ever we decide I don't want will be donated so other people can enjoy them.

I had 2 lessons today.  My Sarah was not feeling too well so they were absent.  I hope she is feeling better now.  I had a medium bad headache today.  My knees were a bit more achy than usual from the cold.  I had a followup with a Doctor from the ER visit this past weekend.  The infection is doing well and is clearing up.  The doctor said if it still was hurting by Friday, to call and she will have the medicine refilled for another week.  Overall, she is happy with how the infection is doing.  The doctor that I went to see is actually one of my students' mother.  I did have a referral from Doctor Gradolph, but since I know Jasmin, I would rather see her.  She didn't have a problem with it at all.  Oh, and I lost 2 pounds this month.  I am happy about that.  I just need to lose much, much, much more.  I know I can do this.  Losing the weight is a goal I can keep.  I feel better with eating healthy food instead of the junk and fast food.  I just have to work harder at adding the exercise too.

I am going to read for a bit and watch Law and Order: SVU before heading for bed.  My lovely Breanna is going to have her lesson tomorrow.  She takes lessons every other week now.

Tuesday 10-30

Tomorrow is Halloween and usually I don't have any lessons because of trick or treating.  However, I do have 3 lessons tomorrow since they are earlier in the afternoon.  I plan to hide in my house this year.  Several cities in this area have postponed trick or treating because of the expected weather here tomorrow.  While here in Michigan we do not get the brunt of the storm, we will get some backlash (for lack of a better word) of it.  It is supposed to be very cold, icy, wet, and they are expecting it to be dangerous for trick or treating.

I only had 2 lessons this afternoon.  Sammy rescheduled for Thursday.  Amy and Dan are doing very well.  Dan has played before but it was about a year ago.  He has been my student for about 2 1/2 months ago.  Amy has been taking lessons for about 3 months now.

I am getting Christmas music out for the students to start to practice for the concert.  I do have a few who are planning not to be in the concert.  I don't mind if they don't want to be in the concert.  I have had some students in the past who have never played in a concert or competed in a competition.  Most of the students have chosen the songs they want to play in the recital, only a few are left that haven't chosen yet.  By the end of the week, I should have everyone who wants to be in the recital choose a song.  I have to put 2 songs in finale so that I have CDs for the students to sing to.  It doesn't take too long, but sometimes it seems like it takes a long time.  I should have them done by next week.

I think the dosage for the headache medicine is possibly starting to work.  Sometimes, during the day, the headache is almost gone.  The bad ones are either in the morning and then it goes back to the normal headache or in the evening right before bed.  I think that is somewhat of an improvement.  I am hope to actually attend church this Sunday as I have not been there for about 1 1/2 months.  I like the church I attend now and I don't like missing it.  I love singing in the choir.  They are really nice people and we sing songs that I like.  This Sunday we are singing "Your Grace Still Amazes Me".  It is such a beautiful song.  I hope to be able to sing with the choir this week.

I need some new books to read again.  This weekend I will go to the used bookstore to get a few new to me ones.  Right now, I am reading a lot of Danielle Steel.  I like most of her books, only a few that I don't like.

So far, eating healthy is going pretty well.  I do try to eat a lot of vegetables and I have a salad almost every night.  I have to order new inserts for my foodmover so I can keep better track of my food and nutrition.  I am working on adding exercise too.  I just have been really exhausted these past few days so I haven't been able to add as much.

Tomorrow is the follow up appointment for the ER visit on Saturday.  She needs to check the infection and see if it is clearing up or getting worse.  It seems to be doing alright to me.

I am going to read a bit after I finish watching the NCIS Los Angeles.  I hope your evening is going well too.

10-28

Yesterday just didn't quite work out as planned.  I was planning on 5 lovely lessons and a beautiful afternoon of movies or reading.  Instead, I had 3 lessons (my 2 that are moving next week haven't shown up in 2 weeks and I have called to find out why) and went to the emergency room.  I was in so much pain that I just couldn't take it anymore.  Turns out it was a good thing that I did go because I have an infection under my skin, which explains the horrible pain.

The antibiotic made me a bit sleepy this afternoon so I had to take a wee nap.  Surprisingly, I only slept for about an hour instead of 3 to 4 hours like usual.  Law and Order SVU is having a marathon on right now.  Most of the episodes I have seen before, but they are always good.  I am glad that it is still on with new episodes each week.  Mom and I used to watch it all the time together.  It was just one of the shows we watched together.

Aggie has finished her dress that we were working on last week.  I can't wait to see the picture of her in it.  I am going to be starting the ornaments for my students this week.  I need to get a new dressmakers pencils since the ones I have are unable to sharpen anymore.  I am not going to wait until December like I usually do or at least, that is the plan.  I have some really cute music Christmas material for the ornaments.  I am going to make some for my littlest cousins too.

There are 2 Christmas parties this year.  Kayla is having one and so is Danielle.  Danielle's party is also a 1st birthday for Miles.  I looked at some toys for him this afternoon.  It is hard to believe that he is 1 already.  He is so cute.  He likes me to hold him or at least he doesn't cry when I hold him.  His sister, Elizabeth, turned 4 in September.  She liked what I got her for her birthday too.  I am not sure about what to get Miles.  He is as cute as his sister.

This week is Halloween.  I am not planning to pass out candy this year unless it is warm out and I can sit outside to pass it out, otherwise, it is just to long to stand and too cold to sit outside.  I am planning to get some candy to give to the students who are having their lessons on Wednesday and for the Hubel kids.  I think that they will like that.  They do so much for me that it is nice to do something for them for a change.  I really like the family a lot.  Halloween is not my favorite holiday.  It was Mom's thing.  She used to decorate the front window and the dining room every year.  She really got into it.  Mom would be so excited about holidays that it made us excited too.  I remember how she would ask us if we wanted to go to the store with her.  I mean, we always said yes since you never knew when you would get a treat.  Looking back, I know that we would have had to go with her since she wouldn't leave small children home alone, but it made it seem like we had a choice of going or not.  That was just mom.  Christmas and Easter are my favorite holidays.  I love how people think of other people more at Christmas time.  I love Christmas Shopping too especially if it was for my mother.  I remember when I was about 25 or so, Mom needed a new winter coat.  I wanted to get her one, but she said it was too expensive for me to get it for her.  Well, she should have let me get it because by the time I bought everything that I got her, the coat would have been cheaper.  She was so fun to by stuff for.  Another time we went to a store for her to try on pants that she needed.  Mom tried on the pants and I wrote all the info down.  The next day, I went to purchase them.  By the time Christmas came she forgot that she tried them on.  I know she used to pretend when she knew what we were giving her, but this was a bit overboard until I realized she really DID forget what I got her.  The last thing that she actually bought me herself for Christmas is my Carebear.  It is a stuffed animal that I cherish.  She was so excited to give it to me that she put it on my pillow so when I woke up, I saw the bear right away.  Mom was standing at the door laughing.  That was Christmas 2008.  By the next year, she wasn't able to pick things out for me.  I think it was her last Christmas where she was more of herself instead of the Alzheimer's mom.  I am so glad that I have these memories of her because neither of my brothers have the daily memories that I have.  I am glad that I was with her everyday up to the end.

My head isn't so bad this evening.  I am thankful for that.  It is just the everyday headache, not a bad one right now.  I am hoping that this week will be good as far as the headaches go.  I didn't have as many bad ones as I have been having.

The Color of the Leaves 10-25

It is so beautiful here with the fall colors on the trees.  In my backyard I can see several of the trees my neighbors have and the are simply beautiful.  God's creation is so awesome.  My hedge is full of green, yellow, and red leaves.

I have a light load today.  I am not sure where my students are that are supposed to be having their lesson right now.  They are often late and sometimes miss for no apparent reason.  While I would rather teach the lessons, I do get paid whether or not they show.  They are 6 and 7 year olds now and are really cute.  I just wish they would actually practice.  I do the best that I can with what time I have with them, but they are talented and really could be doing so much more at this point.  Saturday, I have a new voice student.  She is 12.  I do not have any ink in my scanner/printer so I will have to loan her the books that she needs for the next 2 weeks.  She will be an every other week student.  I spoke to her dad yesterday and they seem to be very excited about lessons.  I have a binder ready for her and a note book, but since I can't copy anything for her here, I may be able to go to Kinko's and copy the music there.  I do have other things I need to copy too so that might be the best thing to do.

Emily will be getting her new books tomorrow.  She is very excited about this as am I.  She is a lovely young lady who is in 4th grade.  She likes her school and she seems to get along with all of my students.  Then again, I think that all of them get along well together when we have recitals so that is good.  I don't expect them all to become best friends, but I do expect that they are nice to each other.  My teenage students are very nice to the little ones.  I have had where the teenage students were mean to the little ones, fortunately, that is not happening right now.  I am glad about that.

My head is the normal, everyday headache today.  Yesterday was much better for it, but since it isn't super bad, that is okay.

My students arrived late today so they only had about 20 minutes each.  I don't have anymore students for the evening.  I have to go and pick up some books for Emily tomorrow so that is where I am heading out too shortly.

wow!

I have 100 followers now.  That totally surprises me!  I am one grateful fibro girl!!!  Thanks for reading!

Midweek already 10-24

I can't believe it is Wednesday already.  Wow, did I sleep through Monday and Tuesday?  It sure feels like I have.  I went to see an associate of my Primary Doctor this morning for the pelvic type pain.  I sure hope what he gave me works otherwise I will have to go again and well, that does add up and since I already owe my doctor so much money, I need to not have to go.  I also realized that I totally forgot to bring the filled out form for my doctor to sign.  *sigh* Fibro fog at work.

I don't have a whole lot of lessons for the next few days.  My busiest day is now Monday instead of Thursday.  I don't mind because it is the nature of the business that I am in.  I am thankful for the few hours I work a week.  Without them, I would be losing my mind and that would not be a pretty sight.

This week we don't have choir practice since there is an event at church that will take place in any of the rooms we can practice in so no practice tomorrow evening.  I think I will cut out the ornaments that I am making for my students for Christmas.  I am also making some for the little ones in the family.  I love the fabric that I have for them.  It has music all over it in a Christmas theme.  It should be really cute for the ornaments.

I tried to take a nap this afternoon since I was a bit tired, but I only slept for about 1 hour or so.  I am not sure but I have a feeling that after my last lesson, I will be heading up to bed.  I am a bit tired no, but I have a lesson in about 20 or so minutes and that will perk me up.

The new headache medicine seems to helping a bit.  Today, until I thought about it, I didn't have a headache.  Naturally after I announce the good news about it, my head starts to ache a bit.  However, it is Wednesday and the last bad headache I had was Saturday night so there is some improvement.  I will see what the rest of the week turns out like.

A Fall Day 10-23

Tonight is NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles.  I simply love those shows a lot.  I have missed the last 2 weeks because of things I needed to get done.  Tonight, there shouldn't be any reason for me not to see the shows.

It is a quiet type day in the house.  I have only 3 lessons today and 1 is already done so just 2 more and then I am done for the night.

I have some paperwork that I need to take care of tonight.  I have run out of ink again, so I have to go and buy some so I can copy the paperwork and mail it in.  Tomorrow, I am getting up early (like 8:30 am) so I can go to the Social Security Office for my statement of income that I also need to put in.  I sometimes think paperwork will be the death of us all.  I only have a smidge left to do so that is good.

I woke up at about 4 am this morning and I was wide awake ready to take on the world.  I just wish I had my get up and go later in the day.  By the time I get up late in the morning, my get up and go has got up and gone.  I was tired again by 5 am so I went back to bed until about 12 noon, which is my normal time to get up.  I think, for me, one of the biggest obstacles in my life is the extreme fatigue that I have.  Yes, I have pain everywhere but that just makes me even more exhausted than I already am.  For me, I am so used to the pain that some days I don't really feel the full brunt of it unless I bump something or think about it.  I know it is there, but when I am distracted, it isn't always so bad.  Now that is not to say that I never have extreme pain, I am just saying I am used to the everyday pain.  When most people ask me how I am, I always answer fine, because to me it is normal to be in pain and so tired.  When my best friend asks me how I am, I will give her the lowdown about it because that is what she wants to know.  She doesn't want the standard answer.  I also think one of the worst things for me besides the exhaustion are the headaches I get.  I have had a headache since about March of 2003 so I have had a headache for about 9 years.  I don't remember what it was like not to have one.  I am hopeful that the new neurologist will find something to break the cycle of headaches.

For some reason, I am having pelvic pain again today.  It started yesterday.  If I still have it tomorrow, I will go see the doctor tomorrow.  It isn't super bad like it was a couple of years ago, just a little bit bad.  however, I will NOT wait as long as I did back then to see a doctor.  I just won't.

My student should be here soon.  He is a piano player.  He is doing pretty well.

Monday 10-22

I had several lessons this afternoon and evening.  It was a nice lesson day.  My two littlest ones will be switching to Mondays instead of Wednesday.  It seems to work better for them so it works for me.  I like being able to be flexible for the parents, not only does it helps them but it helps me if I need to change a lesson for some reason.

It was such a nice, low key weekend with Kathy.  I thought it was cute that Kathy's girls wanted to come with her.  I am just glad that I didn't flare and we had fun.

I have to do some paperwork this week that I keep forgetting to do.  I FINALLY wrote it down so I will do it tomorrow.  I need to get this done as soon as possible.  Wow, my spelling is not so hot tonight.  So far I have forgotten how to spell about 3 or 4 words.

I am really getting tired tonight so I will be heading to bed early.

Lovely weekend

Oh my, it was such a lovely couple of days with Kathy here.  She arrived Saturday morning.  While I taught my few lessons, she ran over to the Disney Store in the mall.  There is not a Disney Store in her area so when she comes here, she always goes to see what is new and with Christmas coming, it is good to start ahead when you have 4 children like she does.  When I was finished, we went out to lunch/dinner at a restaurant that I had gift certificates for.  We both really enjoyed the food there.  I have a little bit left for another visit so that is good.  Kathy and I are both HUGE MacGyver fans so I had a disc of movies that were done after the series was over.  I had not seen either one of them and neither had Kathy so that is what we did, we watched 2 MacGyver movies and boy were they good not to mention how we were remembering our college days when we were totally enthralled with Richard Dean Anderson.  *Ah*, it was such fun.  We chatted some more before we headed for bed.  Mom's old room is one of the guest rooms so that was where she slept.  I got up after she did, but that is nothing unusual as I tend to sleep in more than most people I know.  I got up at 10 and after getting ready for the day, we went to Chipotle's for lunch.  Kathy had never been there and apparently there is one on the opposite side of town from her so she was in for a treat.  She loved it as much as I do.  If I wasn't so full from lunch, I would want more, thankfully, I am full and not going to eat anymore.  After lunch, Kathy had to leave to go home.  She was planning to stop at her parents' house since she would pretty much go right past there on her way home.  Her dad had surgery last week and is doing fine, but she wanted to visit them anyway.  Her parents are really two of the nicest people ever.  I spend the 3 major holidays with them.  I am very lucky about that too.  I have known them most of my life since Kathy and I have been friends since we were 3, but still, to be a part of their holidays, is very nice of them plus I get to see Kathy and the kids, which is definitely a plus.

One of the nicest things about this weekend was I didn't have a bad headache at all yesterday or today, just the usual dull headache.  It did hurt a bit more than usual when I went to bed, but when I woke up it wasn't too bad at all so I am one thankful Fibro girl.  It is also good that if I did, Kathy wouldn't be mad at me or anything and I knew she would be up for whatever I needed to do if it was bad but since it wasn't, that is great.

This afternoon, I have 2 lessons.  Both are piano lessons, although one is usually a voice lesson but he wants to learn a bit more about the piano.  It was strange yesterday that my two girls weren't here for their lessons.  They are moving in a few weeks so I am thinking that maybe they got caught up in it.  I did leave a message on their mom's cell phone, so I am hoping they will call and let me know what happened.  They have never just not shown up without a phone call before.  This is very weird.  The two girls are so sweet and cute as well as their little sister.  I am hoping that everything is okay with them.  I am planning on calling them again this evening to see if everything is all right.

October

I hate this month.  I have since 2010.  This week just upsets me beyond words at time.  2 years ago at this time I was watching my beautiful mother die.  It was the hardest thing because I couldn't fix her and I wanted her fixed.  I didn't want her to go.  I only wanted her to stay.  I would have done almost anything to keep her here with me.  I asked about what they could do and they said there wasn't anything that they could do.  I just miss her so much.  Add family issues to the incredible sadness at this time of year, I wonder how I can get up at all.  Some days, I just want to stay in my nice warm bed and not face the day.  It isn't as bad at times as it used to be, but some days it is really hard.  I just wish that I could sleep through all of October, maybe someday it won't be so bad.  Today is just a bad day.

the start of the new week 10-13

I missed church again this morning because of another bad headache.  Right now it isn't too bad, but the evening is still young.  I am watching a marathon of Law and Order, SVU.  I do like this show a lot.  I think I have seem most of the episodes except for the last season.  I could never remember when it was on.  It is on Wednesdays at 9 pm.  I will have to remember that.

Aggie's costume is almost finished.  I will have the bulk of it done by Friday.  Aggie is coming Friday morning so we can put the finishing touches on it.  She received the wig for her costume yesterday.  She looked good with it on.

Becca had her lesson today.  We have picked most of her music for competition.  She is doing the cutest Renaissance piece for classical.  It is from the time of Elizabeth 1.  It also was in the movie, "Vanity Fair".  I saw it years ago with my mother.  I remember being excited that the character sang that song.  Her Broadway and her Pop songs are all picked.  She is just having a bit of trouble with choosing her Inspirational song.  Becca is down to 2 choices for that category.  I also need to ask Natalie if she would like to sing a duet with Becca.  I am sure she will so it is just a matter of picking out a song.

Other than 1 lesson, it has been a very quiet day.  I am going to read some more and then head for bed.

Saturday 10/13

It is almost mid October, hard to believe.  I received some sad news this afternoon.  My lovely Wama and Deema will be moving so next week is their last week.  I will miss them so much as they are such lovely students and so talented.  They are such wonderful girls.  The whole family is wonderful.  I love their mother, she is such a lovely person.  I am hoping that someday I will be able to visit them in Dubai.  That is something I plan to save for because I would love to see them there and visit their country.  I just can't say enough of how wonderful the family is.  They came to get ice cream when I had my birthday and we celebrated Lulu's 5th birthday together a few weeks ago.  I plan to stay in touch with them through face book.  I am thankful for face book because of the message feature.  I can hear how they are doing.  I know that they miss their dad and they will be with him again shortly.  The girls plan to play piano when they move so that is really good.  I can't believe that next week will be their last lesson with me.

I can't wait until next weekend though because Kathy is coming to visit!!!!!!  It should be awesome.  We haven't been able to arrange a time to hang out just the two of us so this is long overdue.  With both our schedules, it just hasn't worked out.  Not only does she have her schedule, but her husband's and her children's schedules too while I only have my little schedule.  I am looking forward to have her here for the weekend.

Aggie and I were working on her costume for Halloween this afternoon.  I have measured the part that I need to redesign.  She is going to be Merida from the movie Brave.   So far, it is turning out pretty well.  I will make the adjustments tomorrow.  I am happy with how it is turning out.

Time to read a bit and then head for bed.

Thursday/Friday

Thursday:

It has been an okay day until about 5:30, then my headache got worse so I missed choir practice yet again this week.  I sure hope that by Sunday it will be better.  I am really tired of this too.  I do hope by tomorrow it will be back to the normal, everyday headache.

Lessons went well today.  I was a bit tired when I finished teaching, but that is mostly from the headache.  I was going to sew some of Aggie's dress tonight, but my head will not allow me to do that.

Friday:

My head is mostly back to the normal, everyday headache.  I did go to bed early last night because my head hurt so much.  Today, it seems it will be alright so that is a good thing.

I got the results of my blood tests back.  Apparently, my hemoglobin is very, very low.  Normal for me is around 12.5, normal for everyone else, is about 13.  Mine at this point is at 10.6, which means somewhere in the stomach or colon is bleeding so I have to do a test here at home and then send it away for the results.  this test tends to gross me out but I guess it has to be done and no more ignoring it, which I have been doing for, oh, about a year now.  Both Dr. G and Dr. T want this done so I will bite the bullet and do this during the weekend and hope I don't gross out from it.

Things have calmed down with the family now.  I still have to make some decisions that are hard, but I am weighing all my options.  I am much calmer and less upset than I was on Sunday when everything hit the fan and flung itself on me.  I don't do well in situations like that because of the fibro fog.  Once people starting going on and on harshly, I can't think.  When they talk to fast and so much, I just can't really follow them.  It takes time for me to process exactly what is being said and what I need to say.  Instead, I couldn't think properly or answer properly.  I do hope the next time I am discussing these details, they will slow down and let me think otherwise, I don't know what is really going on nor will I totally understand what is being said.  I am just glad this has smoothed out for now.

I have some lovely lessons today.  Acer, Calli, Emily, and Antoinette.  Antoinette is actually a make up lesson from Wednesday when she as unable to come.  The other three are their normally scheduled lessons.  Oh, I just remembered, I have to copy a CD for Allison.  I will be right back.  Okay, I am back.  Boy am I glad I went to get the CD because it reminded me about the other CDs I need to copy and burn.  Good thing I went up.  The group song for Christmas this year is called, "Oh What a Merry Christmas Day", it is from Mickey's Christmas Carol.  I know, it is so not a surprise that I picked a Disney Song for the group song.  It is very me.  We are starting to pick Christmas music now.  Some students have already picked theirs but others are thinking about it and I will be pulling a lot of it out in the next week or so.

Well, on to doing the work I need to do for students!

Feeling a bit better 10-10

I am feeling a bit better and much, much, much calmer than I did on Sunday night when I got home.  I so appreciate the prayers and comments.  I am no longer as upset as I was.  I think taking the few days to think, pray, and calm down really helped.  I still have some decisions to make, but over all, it will work out somehow.  I do have faith that God will show me what to do and where to turn.  Sometimes I just seem to forget to ask Him and try to go without Him.  We all know what a mistake that is!!!

I met with my friend, Jen from high school and her mom for lunch today.  She is such a good friend and I really like her mom too.  We had a great time chatting away during the meal.  We went to Olive Garden and I got the soup with salad lunch so I stayed on the healthy side of food.  I must confess that I am getting rather frustrating with the losing of weight as I have somehow managed to gain what I had originally lost.  Fortunately, next week Wednesday, I am going to the hospital for a seminar about their weight loss program.  I am not interested in the surgery as I would not be a candidate for it with my blood disorder, however I do believe they have other options so that is what I will look into.  I just hope it doesn't cost that much.  We shall see.

I have a few lesson tonight.  I am so thankful for the lessons I do have.  Tomorrow I have a new one for voice.  Her name is Rachael and she wants to be an opera singer so we will start with the 24 Italian art songs and arias along with the young singer.  She also wants to be able to read music and I did tell her that would be very necessary for her goal.  I am so glad that she is starting tomorrow and not next week!

I am working on being thrifty.  It is hard but I am doing okay with it.  I am not as good as mom with stretching the dollar as well as she could, but overall I think I am doing okay.  This is also Sarah's second lesson with me today.  I am glad that she remembers as much as she does since she hadn't had a piano lesson in about a year.  She is a very sweet young lady.  I think she will fit right in with all the other students.  She is quiet but that will help balance out the ones that aren't very quiet.  I do have quite a few that are quiet and several who are more outgoing.  Mostly, I have notice that my students are nice to each other and some of them have even become friends.  For example, Natalie Z and Calli are friends now after meeting at the concerts.  I am having the girls do a Christmas Duet this year in addition to their solos.  I think it will be really good and they will sound nice together.

My CD player that I use for teaching has died.  It will not read anymore CDs so I had to purchase a new one tonight after lessons.  I hope I picked a good one, it wasn't too expensive so that was good.  I just didn't want to have to get one right now.  Oh well, this should last for a few years.

Last week I had my hair cut.  It is just about at the shoulders.  The stylist cut about 12 inches off my hair.  I had had a bad headache for 3 days the previous weekend and I could feel each strand of my hair so it had to go.  I do like it and the important thing, it is easier to wash and brush being a bit shorter also it can still go in a ponytail.

I am going to read for a bit and then head to bed.

I am not sure what to say today.  So much happened last night that I just don't know what to say.  It has left me speechless and I am rarely, if ever, speechless.  Needless to say, I need prayers, lots and lots of them for guidance on what to do next.  Decisions have to be made and I am not sure which way to go, I really don't know.  I can't give any specifics, but they are big decisions and I need lots of prayers to make the right choice.  If ever I have needed God's help, this is it.

It has been very hard for me both emotionally and financially since the passing of my mom.  I miss her every minute of every day and I suspect I will until I die.  I finally now feel like I have some headway and much more sure footing with the financial end of things.  I still have the signs up on her bedroom door and mine that say whose room is whose.  Mom got confused one day and so I put up a sign so she knew it was her room.  It was actually kind of cute how she would read the sign every night so she knew it was her room.  I miss the little things like that of her.  Most of all, I miss her smile and telling me that she loves me and me telling her how much I love her.  See her pictures usually make me smile.

I am very tired tonight.  I had to get up early for a doctor's appointment.  I had to have several tubes of blood drawn for several different tests.  It took 4 pokes today to draw me.  It was rather painful since it took so many pokes.  Thankfully, they did finally get it done.  I have anemia and the doctors can't really find out why.  At this point, I do not have an ulcer.  It is gone so there isn't any bleeding in my stomach.  I take iron now, which is something I couldn't do a few months ago.

I think I will just read for a bit and then go to bed early.  I am just so tired from last evening.

Friendships 10-6

I just finished a book called Firefly Lane.  It is by Kristin Hannah and it is a wonderful book.  It is about 2 friends and their lives, which made me think about the friendship of Kathy and I.  Kathy and I met when we were about 3 as far as we know.  We both went to the same church and were in Sunday School together.  Neither one of us actually remembers meeting the other, we just know that we have always be a pair.  Then when we started school, we went to the same school and were in the same classroom from Kindergarten to 3rd grade.  During our school years we had the usual ups and downs as most friends do.  We didn't go to the same college.  Kathy went to Western Michigan and I went to Wayne State.  We would write each other letters about college and quite often the letters were written while we should have been taking notes in our classes.  That was something we both did quite a lot.  After college, Kathy moved back into this area.  We would hang out and watch the original 90210 and Melrose Place every week with friends.  Those were our shows no matter how ridicules they became.  We would yell at the TV at Michael and how bad his character was, but overall, it was just bonding and enjoying the company.  When Kathy met Tony, now her husband, she didn't tell us right away.  I remember her wedding so vividly.  I was so excited for her.  It was one of the best days of my life.  I was so happy that she had found her husband.  Kathy was so tired by the time her wedding came, that I think I was a bit more excited than her.  It was just an amazing day.

This evening was a fun one.  Aggie came over for sewing.  We went to the fabric store, picked out a costume pattern, bought the fabric and then went back here.  Then we fitted the pattern to her and proceeded to cut out the pieces.  Right now it is a bag where it will be safe.  I plan to put some of the pieces together this week before she comes home next weekend.

I had 2 lessons today, Nina and Sean.  It was Sean's first time.  He did quite well.  I did expect he would because he is very interested in music.  This was Nina's 3rd lesson and she is doing very well too.  I think most of my students doing quite well.  There are only a small number that do not practice so they do not learn as much as my other students.  I do what I can with them and they do like coming for lessons so that is a good thing.

It is getting late now, so I am going to read for a bit.  I am starting a new book tonight since I finished the other this morning.

Oh my, Friday 10-5

I am actually rather glad that it is Friday, but my I am tired tonight.

I had my hair cut on Monday.  it is about at my shoulders right now instead of halfway down my back. I don't really miss the long hair yet.  However, after a few days in a row of having really bad headaches that I could feel every piece of hair on my head, I had to get it cut.  I do like it though.

Today was a busy day with some lessons and running errands.  I had to go and get a lesson book for my new student tomorrow.  I only have 2 lessons tomorrow.  Aggie is coming over to work on sewing for her Halloween costume.  She is going to be Merida from the movie Brave.  She will look so cute as Merida although she doesn't have red hair like Merida does.

It is getting colder out now since it is October.  October used to be my favorite month, now I hate it.  This is the month that I lost my mom.  I still miss her a lot, but it is much easier getting through the days and nights than it was a couple of months ago.  My friend, Star's Mom helped me a lot plus I now think about the day we will be reunited in Heaven and never to be a part again.  I look forward to that day, but meanwhile, I will live as best as I can.

Headaches-wise, my head was really sore yesterday but I did manage to teach and go to choir practice. Tonight it is a medium bad headache.  I have taken something for it so I hope it goes down to the regular, everyday headache.  For some reason, my shins and calves have been hurting a lot these past few days.  I don't know why or what I did to it, but I am thankful that it is getting better.

I was reading one of my regular blogs that I read and something struck me.  I don't understand people, but I guess on one of the facebook pages for Fibro, there is some really mean comments.  I mean, seriously, we should be sticking together instead of insulting each other.  I just don't understand that kind of thing.  It is the same with the tabloids, who reads them?  Who even believes them?  I can't even look at their front page.  It is so mean and invading people's privacy.  Anyways, I have never understood this kind of behavior.  If we don't stick together and stand up to the nay sayers, who will?

Sunday will be Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner and a 50th birthday party for my lovely cousin, Maia.  I hope she likes what I got her.

a confession 10-2

I must confess that I have not been doing well with the giving up diet coke.  Yes, it is true.  Last evening I went to Chipotle for dinner and out of habit, I ordered a drink and filled it with diet coke before I remembered that I had given up diet coke and pop in general.  Ugh, this is not very easy like I had hoped.  I will try again tomorrow.  It reminds me of a part of Anne of Green Gables when Anne says something to the effect of how great tomorrow it is a day that isn't filled with mistakes yet.  I love Anne of Green Gables.  Lucy Maud Montgomery really wrote one of the best characters of all time when she came up with Anne Shirley.  She really did.  I can't even count how many times I have read those books but each time I get such a thrill from them.  If Anne Shirley were real, we would be kindred spirits.

Today was a pretty good day as far as teaching goes.  I had 4 students.  Sammy was the first one.  She is a singer and is doing really well.  She is really picking up the Italian songs fast.  Sammy has picked her Christmas song.  Amy is learning to play both hands at the same time.  She was a bit nervous, but she played the songs very well.  Dan is doing pretty well with learning his notes and Aubrey, well Aubrey is really advancing quickly.  She started after Christmas last year and has finished 3 books so far.  She is now in level 3.

I also saw my Muglia girls today.  Hannah and Natalie told me how much they loved the art class that they took from Star.  They are going to have lessons every week.  I can't wait to see what they create.  Star is a really good artist too.  Her mother, Paula, an is amazing artist.

I had dinner with the Hubel family tonight.  Carolyn made spaghetti and meatballs.  It was very good.

I am getting a bit tired now, so I think it is time to read a bit before bed.