I am rather glad it is the weekend! yeah! No lessons tomorrow! I am thankful for the lessons that I have, but I am exhausted and really need a day of rest. Acer is putting the clarinet together so we can go over what he learned the other day. He is such a good musician. I am waiting for Star to text to say she is ready for me to come and get her although I have a feeling she might have fallen back asleep. She did mention she was exhausted so it is a possibility. If she did, that is okay. I just have to wait a day for her to get her surprise that I got her this afternoon. I am so excited to give it to her. She just text me and is waiting for the shower. Her mom is in it right now. I love her mom too. Paula is such a good person and artist. Both Star and Paula are good artists. I love watching them with their art.
Star and I are going to watch the devil wears prada, or that is the plan so far. We may go for Harry Potter instead as we are both major Harry Potter fans. It all depends on what she wants to do. Oh, it is time to feed the little Maisy!!!! Be right back!!!!! Heather BT's door is closed and it seems like she is asleep so I didn't get Maisy. I have the food ready for her for when she comes down later after Heather BT wakes up.
It has been a busy day surprisingly. I had my 2 lessons and then I went to check email along with facebook. I ran a couple of errands and when I came home it was time for dinner. We had Elle and her family over for dinner. It was so much fun. Her four children are so fun and nice. They are Angus, Natasha, Hayden, and Rose. Angus and Calli are best friends and Hayden and Acer are best friends. It is quite cool how that works.
It is Sunday now. I just talked to my younger brother, Andrew. I don't get to talk with him all that much as he lives far away from me. Okay, it is 2 hours away but with his hours, it seems like even more than that. He is looking for a new apartment tomorrow. I miss him. We don't see each other that much.
Maisy and I are spending a quiet day together. The kids and Bill are downstairs hanging out. Acer, as usual, is making music, I am not sure what Calli is doing though. I just finished playing my words with friends games. I love that game. I am not all that good at it but that is okay. I have a few friends that I play against that I am at their level so that is good, others, well, they beat me at every game but I learn something from them so that is what I want. I learn new words and use them in other games. It is increasing my vocabulary even if I don't know what they mean.
I have a bad headache today. It is really annoying me. I don't want to lie back down but I am thinking I just might. I don't know. I will see. A nap may be just what I need. I think my head hurts more on days that I don't have to teach because I don't have much to focus on or because I notice it more on those days. It is hard to say. I also don't have much to do with getting things ready for the week today so I am at a loss of what to do with myself. It is kind of funny how that happens. I enjoy the peace and quiet, yet, I enjoy being a bit busy too. Tomorrow, I have a couple of lessons and I am not sure, but I think I am taking Star to school. I don't know for sure yet. I haven't heard whether or not her mom's car is working yet. I sure hope so for her sake, although, I have absolutely no problem taking her to school. It isn't a problem at all. I know she would help me if I needed a ride and she was able to give me one. That is just what friends do.
I think I am going to watch some Murder She Wrote while the kids and Bill are gone this afternoon for the other church service they go to. I am on disc 2 of season 12. Mom and I loved that show so much. Angela Landsbury is one of my favorite actresses. She has been in so much stuff that I love, especially Beauty and the Beast. That is my all time absolutely absolute favorite movie EVER!!!
The big snow storm we had last week and the cold snap ended up giving the kids 4 snow days. It got down to negative numbers with the wind chill so it was too cold for the kids to go to school. Basically, the kids were out of school from Friday to Wednesday with going back to school on Thursday this past week. The were not happy to go back to school. I stayed inside as much as possible because the negative numbers really hurt my arthritis and fibro so much. I hid inside and read a lot. I had very few lessons because of the school closings so I am hoping to be back to my regular schedule this week. I am getting to the deadline of the property taxes and I am getting rather nervous about them at this point. I am positive everything will work out, but I am still nervous and need to give this to God without taking it back. That is my problem. I give it to God and then I end up taking it back, like I don't trust Him or something, which isn't true, I DO trust Him. That is one of the things I am working on this year, not taking back what I give to God to work on.
Well, I think I am going to read for a few or go take a nap, I am not sure which. My head is really hurting now so I don't know if I could even focus enough on reading. I think I will opt for the nap.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
The Day Before the Storm 1-4
We are supposed to get a huge amount of snow tonight. They are predicting about 12 to 18 inches of snow either tonight or tomorrow night. I can't remember which. Usually, they are completely wrong. I am, of course, hoping for the completely wrong again. We have enough snow and really, I don't think we need any more. Yes, I know, I live in Michigan, this means snow in the winter. I don't live in a snow belt area though. Thank goodness for that. We are about 30 minutes south and 45 minutes north of the snow belt areas. It is nice not being in them. My younger brother, Andrew, lives in a snow belt area and well, he gets tons so our small bit is nothing to him. It looks like the worst will be tomorrow afternoon. I think we are okay food wise and I just filled my tank up with gas so I know I am fine there. In the winter, I don't like to go below a half a tank if I can help it especially if bad weather is coming.
Yesterday was such a bad day for me. I think I pretty much slept the entire day and I mean the entire day. I woke up about 2 pm and was back in bed around 3:30 pm. I fell asleep again and woke up at 6:30 pm in time for dinner. I stayed awake until about 8:30 or 9 and then went back to bed until 12 noon today. I was just that exhausted. I couldn't stay awake no matter what I tried to do. It was awful. I also ached a lot more than usual. I was so cold all day too. I ended up using several blankets to keep warm in the night and during the day I had my pajamas on as well as my dressing gown and I was STILL cold! Fortunately, I warmed up when I was in my bed enough to sleep. I am not as tired today. I am just my normal tired.
Amanda had her lesson today. I think she is going to be a temporary student, but I hope she will continue. She is auditioning for a new community theatre in a town right next to hers. It is kind of neat because instead of trying out for each play, you try out for the season so that is what she is doing right now. We are working on "Part of Your World" from Little Mermaid and "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair" from South Pacific. She is doing very well with both of them right now. We made some good progress today. The audition is in 2 weeks so we have a short time to do a lot of work. I hope she had the songs memorized by next week so we can start working on the interpretation part of it. Amanda picked songs that will show her acting and singing at the same time ability, which I greatly encouraged. It is an important skill when you want to be in a musical. She is also a dancer.
My Aunt Michelle is coming over this afternoon. I am not sure if my cousin, Jayson is coming with her or not. I love how much I get to see her and visit with her. We have lots of fun together when we visit. Jayson is 6 and sometimes can be a little stinker but generally, he is a good boy and a lot of fun. He is anxious to play with Acer and Calli. I am not sure when Acer will be here but Calli is home. She may be napping at this time as she had goalball practice today and she worked really hard so she is rather tired from it but I think by the time they arrive she will be awake.
It has been a Maisy and me day. We have spent most of the day together. She came into my room after Heather BT and Calli left for goalball and then we slept. Then I got up and we had Amanda's lessons before we ran errands together. Maisy is very good when we run errands. She really is. Maisy stays on her side of the car, in the passenger seat. Sometimes she looks outside, sometimes she is lying down, it is hard to say with that little one. When we get to our destinations, like gas for instance, though, she likes to be in my lap because we are not driving. Once we begin to drive, off she goes into "her" seat. It is quite cute how that is "her" seat and whoa to the person who sits in it when she is in the car. That is her seat and that is that. When Will was here, we took her with us to get dinner one night and she grudgingly let him sit in her seat. This was after she gave him some looks. It was quite funny. We both chuckled over it. Will is now in California. We all miss him here, but that is where his job is, so to California he must go. We are back to a household of 5 again after being a household of 6 for a few months.
My aches aren't so bad today like they were yesterday. Even my side is somewhat behaving. I have had some real issues with it recently for the last few months. I don't know what it is. It is deep inside and it is on the right side of my front torso. It hurts to walk at times too or stand up straight. There are sharp pains in it but then they go away. I just don't know. It is so annoying having these random aches and pains. It really is. It is hard to know what is fibro, what is not. I know not everything is fibro, but not everything is not fibro either so knowing the difference is the hard part. I am hoping that either it will make itself really known so I can get it taken care of or it will go away. It seems weird, I know, to hope it will make itself really known, but this on and off stuff is frustrating and there isn't anything anyone can do about it because it comes and goes. Why doesn't it just go! That would be the best.
My Aunt should be here soon.
Yesterday was such a bad day for me. I think I pretty much slept the entire day and I mean the entire day. I woke up about 2 pm and was back in bed around 3:30 pm. I fell asleep again and woke up at 6:30 pm in time for dinner. I stayed awake until about 8:30 or 9 and then went back to bed until 12 noon today. I was just that exhausted. I couldn't stay awake no matter what I tried to do. It was awful. I also ached a lot more than usual. I was so cold all day too. I ended up using several blankets to keep warm in the night and during the day I had my pajamas on as well as my dressing gown and I was STILL cold! Fortunately, I warmed up when I was in my bed enough to sleep. I am not as tired today. I am just my normal tired.
Amanda had her lesson today. I think she is going to be a temporary student, but I hope she will continue. She is auditioning for a new community theatre in a town right next to hers. It is kind of neat because instead of trying out for each play, you try out for the season so that is what she is doing right now. We are working on "Part of Your World" from Little Mermaid and "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair" from South Pacific. She is doing very well with both of them right now. We made some good progress today. The audition is in 2 weeks so we have a short time to do a lot of work. I hope she had the songs memorized by next week so we can start working on the interpretation part of it. Amanda picked songs that will show her acting and singing at the same time ability, which I greatly encouraged. It is an important skill when you want to be in a musical. She is also a dancer.
My Aunt Michelle is coming over this afternoon. I am not sure if my cousin, Jayson is coming with her or not. I love how much I get to see her and visit with her. We have lots of fun together when we visit. Jayson is 6 and sometimes can be a little stinker but generally, he is a good boy and a lot of fun. He is anxious to play with Acer and Calli. I am not sure when Acer will be here but Calli is home. She may be napping at this time as she had goalball practice today and she worked really hard so she is rather tired from it but I think by the time they arrive she will be awake.
It has been a Maisy and me day. We have spent most of the day together. She came into my room after Heather BT and Calli left for goalball and then we slept. Then I got up and we had Amanda's lessons before we ran errands together. Maisy is very good when we run errands. She really is. Maisy stays on her side of the car, in the passenger seat. Sometimes she looks outside, sometimes she is lying down, it is hard to say with that little one. When we get to our destinations, like gas for instance, though, she likes to be in my lap because we are not driving. Once we begin to drive, off she goes into "her" seat. It is quite cute how that is "her" seat and whoa to the person who sits in it when she is in the car. That is her seat and that is that. When Will was here, we took her with us to get dinner one night and she grudgingly let him sit in her seat. This was after she gave him some looks. It was quite funny. We both chuckled over it. Will is now in California. We all miss him here, but that is where his job is, so to California he must go. We are back to a household of 5 again after being a household of 6 for a few months.
My aches aren't so bad today like they were yesterday. Even my side is somewhat behaving. I have had some real issues with it recently for the last few months. I don't know what it is. It is deep inside and it is on the right side of my front torso. It hurts to walk at times too or stand up straight. There are sharp pains in it but then they go away. I just don't know. It is so annoying having these random aches and pains. It really is. It is hard to know what is fibro, what is not. I know not everything is fibro, but not everything is not fibro either so knowing the difference is the hard part. I am hoping that either it will make itself really known so I can get it taken care of or it will go away. It seems weird, I know, to hope it will make itself really known, but this on and off stuff is frustrating and there isn't anything anyone can do about it because it comes and goes. Why doesn't it just go! That would be the best.
My Aunt should be here soon.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
To A New Year
It is now January 2, 2014. Tonight I am going to have tea with a dear friend of mine, Star. She also has Fibro just like me. We go to tea about once a week or so. It is nice and relaxing and I really do enjoy her company a lot. We have a lot of laughs together, which is so important.
Little Maisy was so ill last night. Apparently, the little fuzzy doggy got into some fudge. Well, she threw up about 10 times last night. Once in my room, 2 times in the family room, and the rest in Heather BT's room. She also got into some Carmel. yup, the little one was sick as can be. She seems to be doing somewhat better, but she still isn't 100% yet so no treats for her today. She needed so much love attention yesterday and now we know why. I gave her a lot of attention and love yesterday since she needed it so much.
I was so exhausted yesterday too. I have no idea why. I didn't get up all that early. I didn't do anything earth shattering either but I was so tired that I was in bed by about 8:30 pm. I vaguely remember thinking about 10ish that Maisy had been in my room because my door was open, but that was about it. I was out for the next little while. I wasn't in anymore pain than usual, but the exhaustion did me in.
I am still rather tired, but not as much as yesterday. I don't have to get up early again tomorrow like I did today.
I went to the neurologist this morning. She was on time! I know! I was thrilled! I love when doctors are all on time. My ear specialist is always on time too. Anyways, they have stopped making the alsuma that I use for break through medicine but I have a new one now. It is a sample and I shall see how it works. I hope it isn't as expensive as the other because I couldn't afford the other at all. Fortunately, I have a wonderful neuro and she gave me samples every time I went in. No one knows why they stopped making it but they did. I lost 4 pounds, which includes the 2 pounds I gained last month. I am pleased that I have lost that much because, honestly, I expected a gain instead of a loss. I am happy with the loss that is for sure.
My headache seems to be a bit worse than normal today but it could be because of the severe exhaustion I had last night. It is so hard to say with me. It really is. Because I have a headache everyday, it is hard to know why they get bad when they do. I have back up plans for when they get super bad now so I don't have to go to the hospital.
Well, off to read some more blogs and face book.
Little Maisy was so ill last night. Apparently, the little fuzzy doggy got into some fudge. Well, she threw up about 10 times last night. Once in my room, 2 times in the family room, and the rest in Heather BT's room. She also got into some Carmel. yup, the little one was sick as can be. She seems to be doing somewhat better, but she still isn't 100% yet so no treats for her today. She needed so much love attention yesterday and now we know why. I gave her a lot of attention and love yesterday since she needed it so much.
I was so exhausted yesterday too. I have no idea why. I didn't get up all that early. I didn't do anything earth shattering either but I was so tired that I was in bed by about 8:30 pm. I vaguely remember thinking about 10ish that Maisy had been in my room because my door was open, but that was about it. I was out for the next little while. I wasn't in anymore pain than usual, but the exhaustion did me in.
I am still rather tired, but not as much as yesterday. I don't have to get up early again tomorrow like I did today.
I went to the neurologist this morning. She was on time! I know! I was thrilled! I love when doctors are all on time. My ear specialist is always on time too. Anyways, they have stopped making the alsuma that I use for break through medicine but I have a new one now. It is a sample and I shall see how it works. I hope it isn't as expensive as the other because I couldn't afford the other at all. Fortunately, I have a wonderful neuro and she gave me samples every time I went in. No one knows why they stopped making it but they did. I lost 4 pounds, which includes the 2 pounds I gained last month. I am pleased that I have lost that much because, honestly, I expected a gain instead of a loss. I am happy with the loss that is for sure.
My headache seems to be a bit worse than normal today but it could be because of the severe exhaustion I had last night. It is so hard to say with me. It really is. Because I have a headache everyday, it is hard to know why they get bad when they do. I have back up plans for when they get super bad now so I don't have to go to the hospital.
Well, off to read some more blogs and face book.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
A New Beginning: 2014
Maisy is sitting next to me, the other Heather, Heather BT that is, is downstairs playing on her computer, everyone else is gone for the afternoon. It has been a restful New Year's Day so far and I foresee it continuing to be restful. In between every sentence, I must pet Maisy. She is insisting. She is so cute.
2013 is over, 2014 has just begun. I wonder what it will bring. I am thankful for family, friends, and furbabies, especially Maisy. My students are the best in the world and I love them all. I have several activities to look forward to in this New Year, competition, visits with friends and family, teas, and several other things that I am sure will pop up. I am hoping for a visit from Kathy to the H2 house this winter. I also am excited about several new books that will be coming out this year. One in particular by Sarah Addison! I hope that this year will be the best for everyone and that everyone will have better health with less pain and less fatigue for those who have fibro like me.
I am in a better place mentally with my grieving this year than I was last year. I still miss Momma everyday and think of her everyday but I am in a better place with it, I think.
I have a few goals for 2014. I aim to reach my goal weight by december 2014. I did gain a couple of pounds in december and I am sure when I get weighed tomorrow it may show the same thing, but I am back on track now. I plan to continue to work on getting healthier such as looking into alternatives to medicine. The magnesium is working well with helping the pain levels. I also am hoping that I will NOT be in the hospital at ALL in 2014. There hasn't been a year since 2005 that I have not had an in patient or an ER visit to the hospital. It has to stop! I am tired of the inside of the hospital. I have a few others but right now I can't think of them. I wish to kick Fibros butt as best as I can. I hope that by spring that I will be able to use a walker when going to a store instead of a scooter. That is the biggest goal. So far, I can go up and down our stairs much better than ever, which is very exciting! I have gone to a small store and walked through it for the first time in years, which was awesome. I walked to and from both kids events at their schools which was farther than I have been able to walk in years!
I have several new books I am excited to read. I am branching out on my reading. Several were recommended by friends so I am really looking forward to them. I love my nook! I received several awesome gift cards for Christmas so I am set for books for a while!
So here's to a healthier, better 2014!!!!!
2013 is over, 2014 has just begun. I wonder what it will bring. I am thankful for family, friends, and furbabies, especially Maisy. My students are the best in the world and I love them all. I have several activities to look forward to in this New Year, competition, visits with friends and family, teas, and several other things that I am sure will pop up. I am hoping for a visit from Kathy to the H2 house this winter. I also am excited about several new books that will be coming out this year. One in particular by Sarah Addison! I hope that this year will be the best for everyone and that everyone will have better health with less pain and less fatigue for those who have fibro like me.
I am in a better place mentally with my grieving this year than I was last year. I still miss Momma everyday and think of her everyday but I am in a better place with it, I think.
I have a few goals for 2014. I aim to reach my goal weight by december 2014. I did gain a couple of pounds in december and I am sure when I get weighed tomorrow it may show the same thing, but I am back on track now. I plan to continue to work on getting healthier such as looking into alternatives to medicine. The magnesium is working well with helping the pain levels. I also am hoping that I will NOT be in the hospital at ALL in 2014. There hasn't been a year since 2005 that I have not had an in patient or an ER visit to the hospital. It has to stop! I am tired of the inside of the hospital. I have a few others but right now I can't think of them. I wish to kick Fibros butt as best as I can. I hope that by spring that I will be able to use a walker when going to a store instead of a scooter. That is the biggest goal. So far, I can go up and down our stairs much better than ever, which is very exciting! I have gone to a small store and walked through it for the first time in years, which was awesome. I walked to and from both kids events at their schools which was farther than I have been able to walk in years!
I have several new books I am excited to read. I am branching out on my reading. Several were recommended by friends so I am really looking forward to them. I love my nook! I received several awesome gift cards for Christmas so I am set for books for a while!
So here's to a healthier, better 2014!!!!!
Monday, December 30, 2013
the coming of the end of the year
It seems so weird that it is December 20 already. It seems like yesterday we were getting things ready for Christmas and now here we are getting ready for the New Year. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at my cousin, Nicole's house for dinner and boy was it good. She is a very good cook and I really enjoyed myself at her place with her family. My aunt and uncle were also there but they arrived late. I did have a good time for the little time I got to spend with them. i really love my aunt Michelle. She is just so awesome. I love my Uncle too but my aunt is such a great woman. We have such fun together. I love it when she comes to visit and when I go to visit her. We giggle a lot together too. Nicole and I were marveling at the thought that we now live close enough to actually visit one another on a regular basis! That is just so cool. I am planning a cousin visitation for January for us soon. Her children are very nice too and so is her hubby. He works a lot. I did have to leave a bit earlier than planned because it was freezing rain at her house and that would make very slippery roads so I needed to make sure I would be alright driving home. The roads improved about 2/3 of the way home and the freezing rain stopped once I crossed the border so that was good. Once I got back into town, there was no rain at all so that was even better. I made it home with one sliding around the road. I was pretty nervous for a bit after that but I did okay. I drove slower than normal and that helped. Most cars slowed down so I was glad to see that. Anyways, it was wonderful day with my family.
This week there are only a few lessons just like last week. Normally, I don't really have any, so to have a few is just awesome. I have some money put aside already for the rest of the property taxes so that is good. I feel much better about the financial situation than I did going into December. I had a few students quit but I have a few new ones to take their places. It is the nature of the business. It comes and goes quite frequently so you just have to go with the flow. I do need to check and make sure i have the CD I need for tonight for the new student. Her name is Amanda. I don't know anything else about her. I will find out tonight. She is having a lesson tonight and on Saturday. I don't know if tonight will be her regular lesson or if Saturday will be but I will find that out too. It is a new way take lessons is doing things so we don't have questionaires anymore and I really found them helpful. I am going to check one more time to make sure they didn't just move them to a new area. They didn't. I don't even know how old she is. In just over an hour I will meet her. I called her mom but she emailed me instead of calling me back. Well, I had Alyssa's lesson this morning and then I will have Bob and Faith tomorrow. Nothing on Wednesday and a couple on Thursday and Friday with one on Saturday.
For some reason, my desktop computer was being awfully weird today. It wouldn't let me go on the internet, no matter what I did. Bill came home and told me what to do to fix it. It is now fixed! Yeah! No more looking at the internet through the little laptop. Back to the wonderful world of desktop with the lovely bigger screen.
Every year, I choose something to work on about myself. I spend a few days thinking about it and then I decide what I want to work on. I am not sure what it should be this year. I really don't. There are many good things to pick but I just don't know what the thing should be this year. It is something I have to also pray about because, well, without prayer and God, there is no hope of improving myself. You know what they say? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So yes, that is what I need to do. I am working on more personal space for people but that really isn't what I mean. I need something else that is more personal than that. Like one year I worked on attitude towards my brothers another was negativity in general, things like that. Normally, I know what to do, but this year I am all hazy about it. I have no clue.
Maisy is in her usual place next to me for now. She alternates between me and Heather BT since we are her two people with Heather BT being her number 1 person and me her number 2. I don't mind being number 2 at all. I get a lot of time to be with Maisy and play with Maisy so I don't mind at all. I love my time with Maisy so much.
Well, it is almost time for Amanda to arrive. I have the CDs I need out as well as the music as far as I know anyway. I am not sure exactly what to expect since I haven't spoken with her but I will certainly find out shortly.
This week there are only a few lessons just like last week. Normally, I don't really have any, so to have a few is just awesome. I have some money put aside already for the rest of the property taxes so that is good. I feel much better about the financial situation than I did going into December. I had a few students quit but I have a few new ones to take their places. It is the nature of the business. It comes and goes quite frequently so you just have to go with the flow. I do need to check and make sure i have the CD I need for tonight for the new student. Her name is Amanda. I don't know anything else about her. I will find out tonight. She is having a lesson tonight and on Saturday. I don't know if tonight will be her regular lesson or if Saturday will be but I will find that out too. It is a new way take lessons is doing things so we don't have questionaires anymore and I really found them helpful. I am going to check one more time to make sure they didn't just move them to a new area. They didn't. I don't even know how old she is. In just over an hour I will meet her. I called her mom but she emailed me instead of calling me back. Well, I had Alyssa's lesson this morning and then I will have Bob and Faith tomorrow. Nothing on Wednesday and a couple on Thursday and Friday with one on Saturday.
For some reason, my desktop computer was being awfully weird today. It wouldn't let me go on the internet, no matter what I did. Bill came home and told me what to do to fix it. It is now fixed! Yeah! No more looking at the internet through the little laptop. Back to the wonderful world of desktop with the lovely bigger screen.
Every year, I choose something to work on about myself. I spend a few days thinking about it and then I decide what I want to work on. I am not sure what it should be this year. I really don't. There are many good things to pick but I just don't know what the thing should be this year. It is something I have to also pray about because, well, without prayer and God, there is no hope of improving myself. You know what they say? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So yes, that is what I need to do. I am working on more personal space for people but that really isn't what I mean. I need something else that is more personal than that. Like one year I worked on attitude towards my brothers another was negativity in general, things like that. Normally, I know what to do, but this year I am all hazy about it. I have no clue.
Maisy is in her usual place next to me for now. She alternates between me and Heather BT since we are her two people with Heather BT being her number 1 person and me her number 2. I don't mind being number 2 at all. I get a lot of time to be with Maisy and play with Maisy so I don't mind at all. I love my time with Maisy so much.
Well, it is almost time for Amanda to arrive. I have the CDs I need out as well as the music as far as I know anyway. I am not sure exactly what to expect since I haven't spoken with her but I will certainly find out shortly.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Recovering from the Holidays
I am rather tired tonight. I foresee going to bed really early as I am exhausted. Clearly, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day have knocked me out but they were so worth it. I spent Christmas Eve with Kathy and family. The kids loved their gifts and so did Kathy. I loved what she got me and what her parents got me. (gift cards from barnes and nobles) I was home here with Heather BT and her family for opening of presents in the morning. Calli and Acer woke me up with sleigh bells at 9 am. It was a pleasant way to wake up. It was much better than the alarm that I would have had to set. I spent the afternoon/evening with my aunt Michelle and uncle John along with my cousin, Jayson. He seemed to like what I got him. I did stop briefly at Lia's to give Tilley her gift and get mine and Andrew's from her. Andrew was unable to come to Christmas after all. That is a whole other story that I just can't handle getting into again. It is too upsetting.
I had a good couple of days. Tomorrow I will see Anne and David for lunch and that should be fun too. I have 3 lessons tomorrow too. I will hopefully see Star for tea tomorrow night. That is the goal anyway. On Saturday, I have just 1 lesson and then lunch with the student and her mother. Tonight I have 2 students. I am waiting for one right now. I do hope she comes. She and the following student are doing a duet for competition so I am hoping they can practice together tonight.
I was so proud of myself for getting things turned in for competition ahead of time! Yes, I was early! Right that down in history! It has never happened before and I am so glad I was able to be on top of things this year. It makes it so much easier for me. Tomorrow, my Sarah will have an hour lesson to make up for some of the ones she has missed. She is really doing well with her competition song. I am really pleased with her progress. Sarah is such a lovely pianist. She really is.
I have a bad headache today, probably due to the excitement of the last couple of days. I took some pain pills and I think I will be able to get through the lessons and then I will have a tea before heading for bed.
Maisy is resting beside me. She is in her "scratch my sternum and my chin and my tummy" position so in between typing, I am scratching her. She is such a good girl and good company. I have decided that for me, as long as I can help it, I will never be a dogless household again. I will always have a little dog in my house. They are such great company and really help lower anxiety. I can give them so much love and attention and they give me such love and attention.
Well, I am really getting rather tired. It has been a long couple of days for me and today was pretty busy with a few lessons so I am going to have a tea and then bed.
I had a good couple of days. Tomorrow I will see Anne and David for lunch and that should be fun too. I have 3 lessons tomorrow too. I will hopefully see Star for tea tomorrow night. That is the goal anyway. On Saturday, I have just 1 lesson and then lunch with the student and her mother. Tonight I have 2 students. I am waiting for one right now. I do hope she comes. She and the following student are doing a duet for competition so I am hoping they can practice together tonight.
I was so proud of myself for getting things turned in for competition ahead of time! Yes, I was early! Right that down in history! It has never happened before and I am so glad I was able to be on top of things this year. It makes it so much easier for me. Tomorrow, my Sarah will have an hour lesson to make up for some of the ones she has missed. She is really doing well with her competition song. I am really pleased with her progress. Sarah is such a lovely pianist. She really is.
I have a bad headache today, probably due to the excitement of the last couple of days. I took some pain pills and I think I will be able to get through the lessons and then I will have a tea before heading for bed.
Maisy is resting beside me. She is in her "scratch my sternum and my chin and my tummy" position so in between typing, I am scratching her. She is such a good girl and good company. I have decided that for me, as long as I can help it, I will never be a dogless household again. I will always have a little dog in my house. They are such great company and really help lower anxiety. I can give them so much love and attention and they give me such love and attention.
Well, I am really getting rather tired. It has been a long couple of days for me and today was pretty busy with a few lessons so I am going to have a tea and then bed.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope everyone enjoys the day with family and friends and less pain and fatigue!!!!!
Sunday, December 22, 2013
The Bad Day Before Christmas
I don't know what it is, but every since I was a child, I always have a bad day some day before Christmas. Today is it. I am ready to burst into tears at any moment at the drop of the hat. Mom used to call it my demon day or night because usually it happened at night. Today, it is during the day too. I am upset over other things today too but I was upset when I got up so I know it has nothing to do with this upset. This is the before Christmas blah time. I think later today after everyone leaves I will go and have some quiet time to myself and see if this can pass. I so wish Kathy lived next door or in the same town because then I could talk with her about it. It is so hard to describe this feeling. It really is. It brings all my anxiety feelings to the surface, not what I am anxious about just the anxiety feelings. I feel utterly alone yet I am in the midst of people, 18 at this moment, including me in the house. I miss Momma so much that I can barely breathe today. It is as if it was yesterday she died. That is how it feels today only it seems like years and years since I have seen her. It has been 3 years and 2 months and 4 days since I last saw her, which means it has been 3 years, 2 months, 1 week, and 4 days since I last heard her speak and tell me she loved me and since I told her I loved her. I want to hold her again and tell her how much I love her. I want her to hold me and chase these feelings away like she used to.
I don't know why I get this feeling every year, but I do and usually it is when I am totally alone but not this year. I know one year it was so bad that I was on the phone with my older brother all night long because I so wanted to not be here. If there had been the medicine that is in the house now, I would have taken it all then but that was years and years ago. I don't have that urge anymore. I just feel like crap. I don't ache anymore than usual, I just feel anxious and sad, very, very sad.
I don't know why I get this feeling every year, but I do and usually it is when I am totally alone but not this year. I know one year it was so bad that I was on the phone with my older brother all night long because I so wanted to not be here. If there had been the medicine that is in the house now, I would have taken it all then but that was years and years ago. I don't have that urge anymore. I just feel like crap. I don't ache anymore than usual, I just feel anxious and sad, very, very sad.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
4 Days until Christmas! Are you Ready?
Well? Are you? I almost am. I have a couple more gift certificates to get and then I will be officially done! Just 3 more! Finally! I picked up 2 yesterday and will do the others this weekend. All I have to do is print them on my computer, thankfully.
Maisy is lying down next to me on her ottoman. She is such a loving doggie. I love her so much. I know, I say that all the time. I think it is because it is such a shock to me. I never expected that I would love a dog so much. I really didn't but boy do I! Here is her picture:
Yup, this is Maisy. This is her, take the picture, Auntie, I am so done with this look. This is her ottoman and she is also wishing it was empty for her. She weighs about 18 or so pounds so she is a nice little lap dog. We think she is part ninja because she can get in and out of the craziest places and things. Last Sunday was the kids church concert and pageant. I put Maisy in her crate. I closed it carefully. Well, I met up with the others at the concert and then we went out to dinner. I was the first one home, guess who met me at the door, you guessed it, Maisy!!!!! She ninjaed herself right out of her crate. We don't really know how. today, I am not putting her in one when I leave for lunch. It will be only for an hour or so and Bill said don't bother especially since she now knows how to get out. Anyways, this is the little princess I talk all the time about.
I realized last night that I am much better this year at this time than last year. I believe I had meltdown after meltdown last year at this time. I have had a couple but not too long. I can't believe that I am spending another Christmas without Momma but I am. She gets to spend Jesus' birthday with him, how cool is that? I mean, really. We get his spirit but she gets it all.
The other night my side ached so bad and I was sooooo nauseous. It was awful. I was, literally, awake most of the time in such pain. It didn't matter what side I was on, it was bad and then the nausea hit. I couldn't move then. I finally had to get up to take something for it. It helped a bit but man oh man, was it bad. I was so wiped out that on Thursday, I was in bed at 9:00 and I don't remember seeing 9:30 on the clock. I woke the next day at 12 noon. It was a rare night that I didn't wake up too much either. I slept right through with only a couple of wake ups. I have felt better since but ugh. I do have to call Doctor G and have him look at me because Heather BT thinks it could be my appendix and this does happen quite frequently just usually it is bad and then gone not like Wednesday night. I hope not to have that type of a night happen again ever. It was that bad. I even contemplated going to the ER but I really couldn't move enough to go plus I would have to wake Bill or Heather and I really didn't want to do that. As I thought more and more about it, I finally dozed off at 7 am for about an hour. I started feeling better about 9 am so I didn't go.
My anxiety level is down now and I hope it stays down for the rest of the season. I have a couple of lessons next week between Christmas and New Years but not many. I expected this. I have one on Monday, a couple Thursday and 2 on Friday with one on Saturday so really, that is a lot for the vacation. Acer has elected not to have a lesson this Friday, which I told him was perfectly fine as it is vacation. Speaking of little man, he is now 9!!! Yes, today IS his birthday! i am so excited for him! We have a 9 year old in the house!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, Acer has turned 9. He is very excited about this too. Tomorrow is Acer's birthday party and he will get his present then. I can't wait for him to open them all from everyone. I love watching children open presents because they look so sweet when they do. I was nervous that the gift I got him would not be here in time, but it was so thank goodness for that!
Well, my aunt will be here soon. Not sure exactly when, but soon. We are going to lunch. I probably should go to the bank too. Nah, I will do that on Monday.
Maisy is lying down next to me on her ottoman. She is such a loving doggie. I love her so much. I know, I say that all the time. I think it is because it is such a shock to me. I never expected that I would love a dog so much. I really didn't but boy do I! Here is her picture:
Yup, this is Maisy. This is her, take the picture, Auntie, I am so done with this look. This is her ottoman and she is also wishing it was empty for her. She weighs about 18 or so pounds so she is a nice little lap dog. We think she is part ninja because she can get in and out of the craziest places and things. Last Sunday was the kids church concert and pageant. I put Maisy in her crate. I closed it carefully. Well, I met up with the others at the concert and then we went out to dinner. I was the first one home, guess who met me at the door, you guessed it, Maisy!!!!! She ninjaed herself right out of her crate. We don't really know how. today, I am not putting her in one when I leave for lunch. It will be only for an hour or so and Bill said don't bother especially since she now knows how to get out. Anyways, this is the little princess I talk all the time about.
I realized last night that I am much better this year at this time than last year. I believe I had meltdown after meltdown last year at this time. I have had a couple but not too long. I can't believe that I am spending another Christmas without Momma but I am. She gets to spend Jesus' birthday with him, how cool is that? I mean, really. We get his spirit but she gets it all.
The other night my side ached so bad and I was sooooo nauseous. It was awful. I was, literally, awake most of the time in such pain. It didn't matter what side I was on, it was bad and then the nausea hit. I couldn't move then. I finally had to get up to take something for it. It helped a bit but man oh man, was it bad. I was so wiped out that on Thursday, I was in bed at 9:00 and I don't remember seeing 9:30 on the clock. I woke the next day at 12 noon. It was a rare night that I didn't wake up too much either. I slept right through with only a couple of wake ups. I have felt better since but ugh. I do have to call Doctor G and have him look at me because Heather BT thinks it could be my appendix and this does happen quite frequently just usually it is bad and then gone not like Wednesday night. I hope not to have that type of a night happen again ever. It was that bad. I even contemplated going to the ER but I really couldn't move enough to go plus I would have to wake Bill or Heather and I really didn't want to do that. As I thought more and more about it, I finally dozed off at 7 am for about an hour. I started feeling better about 9 am so I didn't go.
My anxiety level is down now and I hope it stays down for the rest of the season. I have a couple of lessons next week between Christmas and New Years but not many. I expected this. I have one on Monday, a couple Thursday and 2 on Friday with one on Saturday so really, that is a lot for the vacation. Acer has elected not to have a lesson this Friday, which I told him was perfectly fine as it is vacation. Speaking of little man, he is now 9!!! Yes, today IS his birthday! i am so excited for him! We have a 9 year old in the house!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, Acer has turned 9. He is very excited about this too. Tomorrow is Acer's birthday party and he will get his present then. I can't wait for him to open them all from everyone. I love watching children open presents because they look so sweet when they do. I was nervous that the gift I got him would not be here in time, but it was so thank goodness for that!
Well, my aunt will be here soon. Not sure exactly when, but soon. We are going to lunch. I probably should go to the bank too. Nah, I will do that on Monday.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Christmas Season and anxiety
I have high anxiety. It goes along with fibro. Thankfully, I do not have the depression. Yes, after Momma died, I was depressed and grieving but that depression was more of a grieving type than a fibro type. The last few Christmases have been VERY hard on me with her gone. She died in October 2010 so the first one was awful, simply awful. I went to the family party and felt like a stranger in my own family. I left early because I couldn't take the pain of it. I cried the entire drive home. By the way, it is not recommended to cry while driving. It is a difficult thing to do but I did it.
This year, I find that I am not having a rough time of it. I still miss mom, I still ache from her not being here, and I still ache from fibro, but I think having my friend, Heather BT and her family here has definitely improved my anxiety overall and I have been enjoying this season of cheer. Calli and Acer are delightful children and they make me smile, most of the time. When the are not misbehaving or being bratty anyway, which most of the time they are not, they are usually really good kids. Having people in the house that I like has helped too. Heather BT and I have known each other since we were in our early 20s and then drifted apart. We reconnected in 2009 right after Calli came home from China. I am so glad too. We get along rather well as do her hubby, Bill and I do. We each have our duties and roles in the family and it works well. I do dishes and Calli helps when she can. Heather BT does my laundry and it is a darn good thing too because, well, to be honest, I really suck at laundry, I just simply suck at it. She makes my stuff come back in good condition and nice and clean and all that good stuff.
Painwise, I am still having major issues with headaches. I did go to the arthritis doctor and the gastro doctor this week. The pain that I thought was my hip is not my hip. The arthritis doctor thinks it is the colon. I asked the gastro doctor about it and she thinks it is muscular/skeletal so basically, fibro. Yeah for that. It isn't all the time just some of the time. If it becomes all the time, then I will need to have it looked into because it really hurts when it comes, it is excruciating pain, simply excruciating. Fortunately, it goes away rather quickly and then I am fine but it stops me in my tracks when it arrives. usually, it is at night after I have been lying on that side for a while or when I have been sitting for a bit. It is not linked to meals or anything like that so that is why the gastro doctor doesn't think it is the colon. I do have diverticulitis though and both said that that can be painful at times. I have to be on the lookout for infection, which I am.
Miss Maisy is here sitting next to me looking outside at a winter wonderland. It snowed a few inches last night. I don't need to go out until much later to return some stuff I bought that I don't need. If I don't do it tonight, that is fine too. I can go another day. It looks so pretty out but I am not sure how the driving would be. I am sure it isn't too bad though otherwise no one would be leaving their homes and my neighbors have been driving up and down our street all day. I am on one of the main streets in our neighborhood so I would notice this and also, Maisy barks every time a car drives by. She is such a cutie, a definitely barky girl, but super cute too. She is standing vigilantly at the window watching for cars going by.
I think what has helped the most for my anxiety this year, after my housemates, is the furbabies. Q is Calli's guide dog but when he is not working, he is a family dog but he does hang out with Calli most. He was most unhappy with her today as she was outside shoveling snow while he was inside. Not a happy dog, not at all. Maisy is Heather BT's little 18 pound dog. She is so adorable and while Heather BT is her number 1 person, I am her number 2 person. Maisy has lowered my anxiety a lot too because when I get to anxious, I go and pick her up and snuggle with her. I can feel my anxiety leaving my body when I do that. Nothing lowers it faster than snuggling with Maisy, nothing I found yet anyway, even medicine. I have moved a blue ottoman next to my chair at the computer for her to sit on and look outside. She knows this is her seat and loves it. I didn't even hear her come up and didn't know she had until she took her little paw to tell me it was time to pet her. I did. I snuggled up with her. She is not always a well behaved dog too but we have to take the good with the bad, don't we?
Sammy is coming over to help decorate the tree. I only have the little one up because I just didn't want to deal with the big one this year. Next year I will deal with the big one, just not this year. She should be here soon. Sammy is a wonderful student who helps me so much. She helps put music away, get music out, and things like that. She is a wonderful organizer, which I so need help on. I am not the most organized person. I so try to be, but it just fails. I have her to help for another year then off to college she goes!
Well, Sam should be here any minute. I am also getting tired. I think Maisy and I will take a brief nap until she gets here. It is snuggle doggy time.
This year, I find that I am not having a rough time of it. I still miss mom, I still ache from her not being here, and I still ache from fibro, but I think having my friend, Heather BT and her family here has definitely improved my anxiety overall and I have been enjoying this season of cheer. Calli and Acer are delightful children and they make me smile, most of the time. When the are not misbehaving or being bratty anyway, which most of the time they are not, they are usually really good kids. Having people in the house that I like has helped too. Heather BT and I have known each other since we were in our early 20s and then drifted apart. We reconnected in 2009 right after Calli came home from China. I am so glad too. We get along rather well as do her hubby, Bill and I do. We each have our duties and roles in the family and it works well. I do dishes and Calli helps when she can. Heather BT does my laundry and it is a darn good thing too because, well, to be honest, I really suck at laundry, I just simply suck at it. She makes my stuff come back in good condition and nice and clean and all that good stuff.
Painwise, I am still having major issues with headaches. I did go to the arthritis doctor and the gastro doctor this week. The pain that I thought was my hip is not my hip. The arthritis doctor thinks it is the colon. I asked the gastro doctor about it and she thinks it is muscular/skeletal so basically, fibro. Yeah for that. It isn't all the time just some of the time. If it becomes all the time, then I will need to have it looked into because it really hurts when it comes, it is excruciating pain, simply excruciating. Fortunately, it goes away rather quickly and then I am fine but it stops me in my tracks when it arrives. usually, it is at night after I have been lying on that side for a while or when I have been sitting for a bit. It is not linked to meals or anything like that so that is why the gastro doctor doesn't think it is the colon. I do have diverticulitis though and both said that that can be painful at times. I have to be on the lookout for infection, which I am.
Miss Maisy is here sitting next to me looking outside at a winter wonderland. It snowed a few inches last night. I don't need to go out until much later to return some stuff I bought that I don't need. If I don't do it tonight, that is fine too. I can go another day. It looks so pretty out but I am not sure how the driving would be. I am sure it isn't too bad though otherwise no one would be leaving their homes and my neighbors have been driving up and down our street all day. I am on one of the main streets in our neighborhood so I would notice this and also, Maisy barks every time a car drives by. She is such a cutie, a definitely barky girl, but super cute too. She is standing vigilantly at the window watching for cars going by.
I think what has helped the most for my anxiety this year, after my housemates, is the furbabies. Q is Calli's guide dog but when he is not working, he is a family dog but he does hang out with Calli most. He was most unhappy with her today as she was outside shoveling snow while he was inside. Not a happy dog, not at all. Maisy is Heather BT's little 18 pound dog. She is so adorable and while Heather BT is her number 1 person, I am her number 2 person. Maisy has lowered my anxiety a lot too because when I get to anxious, I go and pick her up and snuggle with her. I can feel my anxiety leaving my body when I do that. Nothing lowers it faster than snuggling with Maisy, nothing I found yet anyway, even medicine. I have moved a blue ottoman next to my chair at the computer for her to sit on and look outside. She knows this is her seat and loves it. I didn't even hear her come up and didn't know she had until she took her little paw to tell me it was time to pet her. I did. I snuggled up with her. She is not always a well behaved dog too but we have to take the good with the bad, don't we?
Sammy is coming over to help decorate the tree. I only have the little one up because I just didn't want to deal with the big one this year. Next year I will deal with the big one, just not this year. She should be here soon. Sammy is a wonderful student who helps me so much. She helps put music away, get music out, and things like that. She is a wonderful organizer, which I so need help on. I am not the most organized person. I so try to be, but it just fails. I have her to help for another year then off to college she goes!
Well, Sam should be here any minute. I am also getting tired. I think Maisy and I will take a brief nap until she gets here. It is snuggle doggy time.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Hmmm, how long has it been?
I used to post daily but I find myself not posting daily. Sometimes it is because I am so exhausted at the end of the day that I elect to go to bed instead and others I find myself hanging with the kids instead. I look back at what my life was like a year ago and boy, what a difference a year can make! I was lonely, scared, sick, tired, and worn out missing mom something awful last year living by myself. Then Heather BT and crew moved in and suddenly our house was alive again. I still miss mom horribly, but I am not lonely, scared and worn out in the same way that I was. Now, don't get me wrong, I still am exhausted all the time and well, it isn't like the fibro took a walk, oh no, these things didn't leave, I just feel better inside as far as mentally than I did a year ago.
Right now Maisy is sitting next to me snoring away as I type. She is definitely on of the most awesome things that have happened to me in the last year. I had no idea how much a dog (or pet) could improve your life! Well, she sure has. I am her #2 person with Heather BT being her #1 person. I love how Maisy will go in back and forth between us to make sure we are both okay. Right now it is my turn, and also, it is time to feed her and she knows I will be feeding her so that could be it too. I will be right back. I have to feed the little fur baby!
She is happily eating her dinner in the laundry room. Last night she came into my room to say goodnight. It was quite cute. She puts her paws on my bed so I will lift her up and she wanted me to scratch her tummy so I did. Then Heather BT called her to go to bed in their room so she left. I love when she coms into my room and sleeps on my bed. When it is just a Maisy and me night, she spends all night in my room. I have discovered for such a little dog (18 pounds) she hogs the bed and steals blankets but I would rather have the bed hogging, blanket stealing, 18 pound dog than none at all.
Lately, my right hip has been super painful at night. It is fine when I am sitting down but the minute I stand or try to walk it is sharp pains. I don't get it. I do see the arthritis doctor this week so I can ask her about it. I have had a few more neck ache headaches again. I may have to consider the nerve block injection although I would prefer to not but if they continue, I will have to try it. It isn't every night, thankfully, but every few nights. Before I went to the ER, it was every night for weeks until it got so bad I just couldn't function or sleep or even move. It hurt to walk to the car and to the ER that night. It really did. Thankfully, by the next day the doctor had found something to help it. I see her again in January.
This is a busy week with doctors as both Wed and Thurs I have doctor appointments. I see the arthritis doctor on Wed and the stomach doctor on Thurs. Then I don't see them again until 6 or so months, or so I hope. This time it was 4 months. I am hoping to remember to bring my planner so I don't plan appointments on the same day, which I have done again. I have to cancel the ear doctor appointment and reschedule it for a different day because it is on Wed. at the same time. I really can't be in 2 places at once no matter how chub I am. Which by the way, on Wed I will find out how much more weight I have lost and I am hoping a few more pounds. I have had to stop wearing some of my clothes because they are too big. Other clothes I can wear again because I am smaller and can fit into them. It is exciting when that happens. Right now I am into my Christmas sweatshirts that I really couldn't wear last year as they were too tight. This year? they are too big! Yup! I am loving that! I think that it will be the last season for these Christmas sweatshirts as I am hoping to be closer to my goal weight next year and not fit into them. That is the plan anyway!
Last week was an exhausting week for me and same with the week of Thanksgiving. I wasn't feeling well at all the week of Thanksgiving. At one point, Heather BT asked me if I was sure I wasn't bleeding in my stomach because my stomach was so upset all the time for the week. It still is upset a lot, but not quite as much. I also was sooooo exhausted, even more than usual. I slept a lot. I even was in bed by 8 or 9 pm some nights and didn't wake up until after noon, that is how exhausted I was. Heather BT said I looked super pale (paler than usual, I am ghostly color) and that my eyes looked like I was in a lot of pain and extremely tired. She is one of the few who really can tell when I am not feeling so good and when I am in either a lot of pain or extremely tired. I did host Thanksgiving along with Will and we all had a good time. I didn't cook. I went and ordered from our local restaurant and that helped immensely. My aunt and uncle, small cousin, friend Star, Will's Mom and brother all came over. Will's mom and brother left earlier than anyone else but it was overall a good day. Will is on his way to California now for a job.
I am hoping that since the Christmas Concert is over and the majority of Christmas presents are bought or made, that I will have a more relaxing Christmas season. I am trying not to raise my anxiety. I have bought things that I think people will like and I have pared down what I can and can't do. I am going to give it my all at keeping at the can and can't do. I know I will have some anxiety over when I decide I just can't do it, but I have to. I just have to. I have to accept that I can't do what I used to. yes, it annoys and upsets me but it is a fact. The Christmas concert for my students wipes me out. Thankfully my friend, Star helped me a lot. This lowered my anxiety. I refuse to stop doing concerts for my students because I really feel that fibro has cost me so much that I just refuse to let it cost me one more thing. I just won't. With help from good friends like Star, it is easier. I ask for help and I get the help. I have a great group of parents who help me with setting up things and tearing them down. So all in all, things work out.
Well, Heather BT and I are about to watch another episode of Once Upon a Time season one disc 3. I love this show. It is really good.
Right now Maisy is sitting next to me snoring away as I type. She is definitely on of the most awesome things that have happened to me in the last year. I had no idea how much a dog (or pet) could improve your life! Well, she sure has. I am her #2 person with Heather BT being her #1 person. I love how Maisy will go in back and forth between us to make sure we are both okay. Right now it is my turn, and also, it is time to feed her and she knows I will be feeding her so that could be it too. I will be right back. I have to feed the little fur baby!
She is happily eating her dinner in the laundry room. Last night she came into my room to say goodnight. It was quite cute. She puts her paws on my bed so I will lift her up and she wanted me to scratch her tummy so I did. Then Heather BT called her to go to bed in their room so she left. I love when she coms into my room and sleeps on my bed. When it is just a Maisy and me night, she spends all night in my room. I have discovered for such a little dog (18 pounds) she hogs the bed and steals blankets but I would rather have the bed hogging, blanket stealing, 18 pound dog than none at all.
Lately, my right hip has been super painful at night. It is fine when I am sitting down but the minute I stand or try to walk it is sharp pains. I don't get it. I do see the arthritis doctor this week so I can ask her about it. I have had a few more neck ache headaches again. I may have to consider the nerve block injection although I would prefer to not but if they continue, I will have to try it. It isn't every night, thankfully, but every few nights. Before I went to the ER, it was every night for weeks until it got so bad I just couldn't function or sleep or even move. It hurt to walk to the car and to the ER that night. It really did. Thankfully, by the next day the doctor had found something to help it. I see her again in January.
This is a busy week with doctors as both Wed and Thurs I have doctor appointments. I see the arthritis doctor on Wed and the stomach doctor on Thurs. Then I don't see them again until 6 or so months, or so I hope. This time it was 4 months. I am hoping to remember to bring my planner so I don't plan appointments on the same day, which I have done again. I have to cancel the ear doctor appointment and reschedule it for a different day because it is on Wed. at the same time. I really can't be in 2 places at once no matter how chub I am. Which by the way, on Wed I will find out how much more weight I have lost and I am hoping a few more pounds. I have had to stop wearing some of my clothes because they are too big. Other clothes I can wear again because I am smaller and can fit into them. It is exciting when that happens. Right now I am into my Christmas sweatshirts that I really couldn't wear last year as they were too tight. This year? they are too big! Yup! I am loving that! I think that it will be the last season for these Christmas sweatshirts as I am hoping to be closer to my goal weight next year and not fit into them. That is the plan anyway!
Last week was an exhausting week for me and same with the week of Thanksgiving. I wasn't feeling well at all the week of Thanksgiving. At one point, Heather BT asked me if I was sure I wasn't bleeding in my stomach because my stomach was so upset all the time for the week. It still is upset a lot, but not quite as much. I also was sooooo exhausted, even more than usual. I slept a lot. I even was in bed by 8 or 9 pm some nights and didn't wake up until after noon, that is how exhausted I was. Heather BT said I looked super pale (paler than usual, I am ghostly color) and that my eyes looked like I was in a lot of pain and extremely tired. She is one of the few who really can tell when I am not feeling so good and when I am in either a lot of pain or extremely tired. I did host Thanksgiving along with Will and we all had a good time. I didn't cook. I went and ordered from our local restaurant and that helped immensely. My aunt and uncle, small cousin, friend Star, Will's Mom and brother all came over. Will's mom and brother left earlier than anyone else but it was overall a good day. Will is on his way to California now for a job.
I am hoping that since the Christmas Concert is over and the majority of Christmas presents are bought or made, that I will have a more relaxing Christmas season. I am trying not to raise my anxiety. I have bought things that I think people will like and I have pared down what I can and can't do. I am going to give it my all at keeping at the can and can't do. I know I will have some anxiety over when I decide I just can't do it, but I have to. I just have to. I have to accept that I can't do what I used to. yes, it annoys and upsets me but it is a fact. The Christmas concert for my students wipes me out. Thankfully my friend, Star helped me a lot. This lowered my anxiety. I refuse to stop doing concerts for my students because I really feel that fibro has cost me so much that I just refuse to let it cost me one more thing. I just won't. With help from good friends like Star, it is easier. I ask for help and I get the help. I have a great group of parents who help me with setting up things and tearing them down. So all in all, things work out.
Well, Heather BT and I are about to watch another episode of Once Upon a Time season one disc 3. I love this show. It is really good.
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