Calli is slowly recovering from her brain hemorrhage and her stroke. She is a fighter and a very strong young lady. I have learned much from this, some of the lessons are old lessons that I should have learned long ago. Time is precious and the people around you are too.
These last two weeks, the Ellers, as we call our friend, Elle's children, have been here pretty much everyday. I don't mind. It makes the day better. Acer is back from camp so we have been doing stuff. He has discovered a new drum online game called virtual drumming. He really like this game. This morning when I got up, I fed the dog, got Acer breakfast, let the dog out, and set the game up for Acer, and then went back to sleep. I slept until 1 pm when Acer came in and said it was time to wake up and he was right. Thankfully, he woke me or I could have slept all day. I am that tired right now.
Anxiety is a bit high today for some reason. Not racing heart or anxiety attack high, just higher than it has been for the last few weeks. I got a really nice picture of Calli from Heather BT today. She was giving her mom a smirky look. I loved it. Calli has such a beautiful smirky smile that I simply love. Of course, I love all her smiles. She has such beautiful ones.
I am not feeling too well today. It is just the way the day is. I may need to go and lie back down for a bit until their mom comes to get us. I think that sounds like a good plan. I have a lovely bad headache today too so it is definitely nap time.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Heart Aches
The extra stillness and quietness in the house is so hard to get used to. It makes my heart ache. I ache for Calli, who is still in PICU at the hospital. She has been heavily sedated so she won't pull things out that need to stay in. The Little Man, Acer, comes home from camp tonight. He has been at music camp this week. For the past two weeks, since Calli became ill, he has been at camp. He has seen his sister, the night he came home from one camp and was leaving the next day for another camp. Otherwise, I have been here mostly with just Peony, the newest addition to the family. A Yorkie terrier mix dog. She is about a year old and is quite cute and still learning quite a bit. We are currently working on sitting, coming when called, and doing doggie business outside. That is the biggie, doggie business outside. So far today, she has done most of her business outside. I want her trained by the time Calli comes home although that may not be possible. I just don't know. I am new to this and she is stubborn. She has an area in the front room that she has marked as "hers" and well, she has pooped there a few times already. At least I know where to look. She also has been throwing up after eating grass several times. I think it is also tension as I think she senses something is wrong in the house because Calli is ill. I think dogs know this. It is just hard to say.
Calli had to have another angiogram again today. We weren't expecting this so I was surprised. She has had one but with her brain bleed, we have to be sure that she will be okay. They took out her chest tube and took her off the ventilator today. Her first coherent words were "I have to go to the bathroom". I can't wait for her to be home. I know everyone else feels the same. I know she may have a hard road ahead of her. We will all be there to help and do what we can. Tomorrow my part starts by helping with the little man.
I have ached more because of the worry with Calli. My head hurts so much more than usual because of the worry of Calli. Thankfully, I have Peony to occupy my mind with because I could be in much wore shape. Peony has been very helpful. I miss Maisy a lot but I am thankful for Peony. I still ache for Maisy. It doesn't mean I don't love Peony, because how could I not? She is such a lovable dog, but I so ache for Maisy. I have finally stopped most of the what ifs and what could I have done differently and maybe Maisy would have lived, but I don't think I will ever stop aching for her.
Calli had to have another angiogram again today. We weren't expecting this so I was surprised. She has had one but with her brain bleed, we have to be sure that she will be okay. They took out her chest tube and took her off the ventilator today. Her first coherent words were "I have to go to the bathroom". I can't wait for her to be home. I know everyone else feels the same. I know she may have a hard road ahead of her. We will all be there to help and do what we can. Tomorrow my part starts by helping with the little man.
I have ached more because of the worry with Calli. My head hurts so much more than usual because of the worry of Calli. Thankfully, I have Peony to occupy my mind with because I could be in much wore shape. Peony has been very helpful. I miss Maisy a lot but I am thankful for Peony. I still ache for Maisy. It doesn't mean I don't love Peony, because how could I not? She is such a lovable dog, but I so ache for Maisy. I have finally stopped most of the what ifs and what could I have done differently and maybe Maisy would have lived, but I don't think I will ever stop aching for her.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Shoulder Pain
Oh my, I think Peony (the new little doggie) has pulled my left shoulder too hard. It really hurts. When she goes outside to play, I have to put her on a leash because otherwise, she would runaway since we don't have a fenced in yard right now. Our backyard is weird so we are not sure how to do a fenced in yard. Well, she is a very strong dog. Very, very strong dog. Super duper strong comes to mind. So for the last few days, we have spent lots of time outside and she has been jumping here, jumping there, on a leash. She will go as far as she can, then she will go the other way as far as she can. It has been fun, but tonight, I have noticed my left shoulder is really sore. I am hoping it is better tomorrow.
I am also so tired. The week of poor sleep has definitely caught up with me and with her. She is sleeping next to me. I think it is time to crate her and for both of us to go to bed.
Please continue to pray for Calli. She is making slow progress, but she is still a very very very sick girl.
I am also so tired. The week of poor sleep has definitely caught up with me and with her. She is sleeping next to me. I think it is time to crate her and for both of us to go to bed.
Please continue to pray for Calli. She is making slow progress, but she is still a very very very sick girl.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
The Worst Week
This week is close to being the worse week of my life besides the weeks when my Momma died and before and after that. My housemates', Bill and Heather BT, lovely, beautiful, vibrant daughter, Calli, age 14, suffered an inter cranial hemorrhage on the left side. This happened on Monday when Bill, Calli, and I were leaving our dear friend, Elle's home from dinner. Heather BT was taking Acer to camp and we expected her later that evening. As we were going to leave, Calli said she felt very dizzy and had a bad headache all of a sudden. Then, she started to cry. At that point, she started to throw up. It was awful. There came a point when it was clear there was something seriously wrong so her parents took her to the ER. The local hospital immediately helicoptered her to their main hospital for further treatment. She is now in pediatric ICU. Calli is heavily sedated as she moves too much when she is not and that is dangerous for her condition. We expect some physical, mental, and emotional challenges when she recovers. We are praying for a recovery with minimal damage to the brain. The place where the bleed is located is right at motor skills. There are people all over the world praying for Calli. We need continuous prayers. So far, she is improving but we still need prayers because she isn't out of the woods yet. They put in a feeding tube in her today. I have seen her and oh my, I am glad I did. I miss her. I am trying to do whatever her parents need here at home. I am staying with the new little dog that arrived on Sunday. It is a challenge but she has kept my anxiety under control so far. I am very worried about her. Between the grief of losing Maisy and the worry about Calli, I am surprised that my anxiety is under control as well as it is. I have been working on breathing and living in the now, instead of the what ifs, because really, there aren't any for this. Bill and Heather BT acted right away with this as soon as it became apparent that something was seriously wrong. I mean, there was no hesitation.
My pain levels are higher and I am trying to stay on top of them. I know it is because of the anxiety and the worry but since I can't stop worrying nor all my anxiety, I just do the best I can to stay on top of it. It is the best I can do at this point. My headache is also a bit higher but not as high as it can get so that is good.
Well, going to eat some dinner. Please, if you can, pray for Calli. She is an amazing young lady. She really is.
My pain levels are higher and I am trying to stay on top of them. I know it is because of the anxiety and the worry but since I can't stop worrying nor all my anxiety, I just do the best I can to stay on top of it. It is the best I can do at this point. My headache is also a bit higher but not as high as it can get so that is good.
Well, going to eat some dinner. Please, if you can, pray for Calli. She is an amazing young lady. She really is.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
The pain of grief - literally
We have a new family member. Her name is Peony. She is a mix of something but we don't know what. We don't know what her parentage is, but that is okay. I have mixed feelings in a way about this. I do much better with a dog. I need to lower my anxiety and petting and hugging her will completely help but I also grieve for Maisy. This lovely, little, 10 pound dog needed a home and we needed her so basically, we are a good fit that way. She has explored the house and seems to like us. She is a furniture jumper so we will work on that. She seems to like Heather BT and I a lot. Tomorrow will be my first day with her by myself. I am looking forward to it. She is a good girl so far. Q seems to be getting along well with her too. Peony is learning to come when called. She gets a treat when she does. Eventually, she won't need this but right now she does. I don't think I will ever get over Maisy, as she was my first love, but I think I have enough room in my aching heart for this lovely, little dog named Peony.
Painwise - grief has taken a toll on my body. My headaches have been torturous this week. Simply torturous. My body aches, my head aches, I don't think there is much on me that doesn't ache. It is so unfair. My heart aches for Maisy and my body physically aches for Maisy. It has been a week since our little furbaby left us and went to Heaven. I miss her so much.
I hope someday I won't hurt so much, but I never will forget that beautiful, sweet, little Maisy girl, NEVER. I will love her forever.
Painwise - grief has taken a toll on my body. My headaches have been torturous this week. Simply torturous. My body aches, my head aches, I don't think there is much on me that doesn't ache. It is so unfair. My heart aches for Maisy and my body physically aches for Maisy. It has been a week since our little furbaby left us and went to Heaven. I miss her so much.
I hope someday I won't hurt so much, but I never will forget that beautiful, sweet, little Maisy girl, NEVER. I will love her forever.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Missing Maisy
It has been 4 long days since the little lady died. My anxiety is through the roof to say the least. She was so good at keeping my anxiety down and now it is so up. My mind plays tricks on me with the could of, should of, and would ofs. What ifs, what if I didn't bring her, would she have thrown up at home? What if she threw up on the ground and not the car seat? Things like this. This is what my anxiety does to me. It was very very very bad last night but better today. I am able to think more clearly today than I was last night. I find the house too quiet without her snorting around even with children in the house.
I was smiling earlier remembering her ninja moves. We called her a ninja dog because she would "ninja" food from the table so quietly, you wouldn't even know she was there. One time, she ate my fish sticks and potatoes but left the carrots while I was teaching. Yeah. I came to the table to eat my dinner and it was gone. She was sitting on the floor, wagging her tail, looking super cute and innocent. Well, that innocent girl wasn't so innocent. Maisy left a telltale sign, a hair on my plate. Apparently, Acer had left his chair out and that was how she got on the table. What a little stinker she was. I would say though, she gave us much love and so many stories about her, just so many.
We are looking at getting a new pet. It won't replace Maisy as no one can but we think it will be better for us. Maisy is my first love of a dog so how could I ever forget my first love? I think the way to honor her, is to get a new pet, another one who needs love too. Maisy was so loved and she gave such love. I uploaded a bunch of photos that I took of her last month on my facebook page. Last night, when my anxiety was so high, I was looking at the pictures on my phone. It helped a bit, but oh my, I just ache for her. I physically ache for her just like I did when I lost Momma. I never knew it would hurt this much but when you love so much, I guess that is the price you pay when they go to Heaven. I would not have missed this for the world though. Maisy taught me so much about love and life that I will never regret loving her as much as I did. Never. This pain is worth the price of loving her so much. I wish everyone could have known Maisy like I did. She was so wonderful, yes, there were times when she was frustrating, I mean, she was a dog after all, but overall, she filled me with joy and happiness. She really helped me get out of the depression I was in after Momma died. Between her and my housemates, that is what brought me back to life. I so wanted to die. I wanted to be with Momma. I didn't want to live. I just didn't.
I hope my anxiety calms down this evening and lets me sleep. It hasn't let me sleep too much, add that to the missing of Maisy and you have an overly exhausted Heather. I did sleep a bit last night after I came back down and was talking to a friend online. I am seeing my friend, Star tonight so I hope that will help me sleep tonight. Maisy never really slept in my bed unless the other Heather wasn't home so I don't miss her sleeping next to me, I just miss her all over. With the new one, we are going to not let him sleep on our beds or climb on the furniture. Of course, we did say that about Maisy and I must confess that it didn't last very long so yeah, we shall see. Acer and Heather BT went to see a little guy on Tuesday and we find out tomorrow if we get him. They were the only ones of the applications that went to physically see him but there are other applications for him. If we don't, we will find someone. I am trying not to get my hopes up. It is hard, but I am trying. I don't think I can handle a major disappointment on top of my grief for Maisy.
As for the fibro pain? I totally forgot how grief can make you ache more! Same with the everyday headache! I am physically and mentally a mess right now, but I will get through because I know I will. I have to. I will always love Maisy and she will always be first in my heart. I told her everyday how much I loved her. I know I have room in my heart to love another because of her. It is all because of her.
I was smiling earlier remembering her ninja moves. We called her a ninja dog because she would "ninja" food from the table so quietly, you wouldn't even know she was there. One time, she ate my fish sticks and potatoes but left the carrots while I was teaching. Yeah. I came to the table to eat my dinner and it was gone. She was sitting on the floor, wagging her tail, looking super cute and innocent. Well, that innocent girl wasn't so innocent. Maisy left a telltale sign, a hair on my plate. Apparently, Acer had left his chair out and that was how she got on the table. What a little stinker she was. I would say though, she gave us much love and so many stories about her, just so many.
We are looking at getting a new pet. It won't replace Maisy as no one can but we think it will be better for us. Maisy is my first love of a dog so how could I ever forget my first love? I think the way to honor her, is to get a new pet, another one who needs love too. Maisy was so loved and she gave such love. I uploaded a bunch of photos that I took of her last month on my facebook page. Last night, when my anxiety was so high, I was looking at the pictures on my phone. It helped a bit, but oh my, I just ache for her. I physically ache for her just like I did when I lost Momma. I never knew it would hurt this much but when you love so much, I guess that is the price you pay when they go to Heaven. I would not have missed this for the world though. Maisy taught me so much about love and life that I will never regret loving her as much as I did. Never. This pain is worth the price of loving her so much. I wish everyone could have known Maisy like I did. She was so wonderful, yes, there were times when she was frustrating, I mean, she was a dog after all, but overall, she filled me with joy and happiness. She really helped me get out of the depression I was in after Momma died. Between her and my housemates, that is what brought me back to life. I so wanted to die. I wanted to be with Momma. I didn't want to live. I just didn't.
I hope my anxiety calms down this evening and lets me sleep. It hasn't let me sleep too much, add that to the missing of Maisy and you have an overly exhausted Heather. I did sleep a bit last night after I came back down and was talking to a friend online. I am seeing my friend, Star tonight so I hope that will help me sleep tonight. Maisy never really slept in my bed unless the other Heather wasn't home so I don't miss her sleeping next to me, I just miss her all over. With the new one, we are going to not let him sleep on our beds or climb on the furniture. Of course, we did say that about Maisy and I must confess that it didn't last very long so yeah, we shall see. Acer and Heather BT went to see a little guy on Tuesday and we find out tomorrow if we get him. They were the only ones of the applications that went to physically see him but there are other applications for him. If we don't, we will find someone. I am trying not to get my hopes up. It is hard, but I am trying. I don't think I can handle a major disappointment on top of my grief for Maisy.
As for the fibro pain? I totally forgot how grief can make you ache more! Same with the everyday headache! I am physically and mentally a mess right now, but I will get through because I know I will. I have to. I will always love Maisy and she will always be first in my heart. I told her everyday how much I loved her. I know I have room in my heart to love another because of her. It is all because of her.
An Award!!!!
I was listed as one of the top blogs for fibro this year!!!!! thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!
Heather
Heather
Monday, June 2, 2014
My Broken Heart
Maisy died yesterday. The faithful, beautiful, wonderful, goofy, frustrating at times, little dog. She was such a good companion. We had driven to visit my brother, Andrew. I was so excited that he was finally going to meet Maisy face to face. Little did I know what was to happen. She started throwing up and throwing up. She threw up in the driver's seat, the passenger's seat, and the rear driver's seat before she because lifeless. We cleaned her up and the car and quickly headed home. I was holding her. We stopped at a service center on the 401 and laid her on the grass. A nice couple came around and asked if they could help. They went into the service center and found a vet. He came out and tried to save Maisy, but it was too late. She was gone. I am trying to hold it together. I am doing okay most times. I have a few lessons tonight so that will be good and then I have to clean out my car as it is a mess and we had to sit on garbage bags last night on the way home. I don't have much else to say except my heart was buried last night with Maisy. I loved that little dog so much. I am so thankful to my housemate Heather BT for sharing her with me. I learned what it was like to love a dog and have a dog love me back. I am so glad I was the crazy one who took so many pictures of her. I have so many. I am going to share some at the end of this post. I will miss my sweetheart who would ride in the car with me. Since I now know all about her and her love, I will pass it on.
I miss you Maisy. I will love you forever and someday we will be together again.
I miss you Maisy. I will love you forever and someday we will be together again.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Day 2 of doctors
I had the eye specialist yesterday. I need new contacts and glasses. No, this was not a surprise. I knew I needed them. Street signs are getting harder to read. What I did forget is that I needed a driver because he wanted to dialate my eyes and I drove myself. Yup, what was I thinking? I wasn't. Anyways, he said it wasn't any big deal, he will just do it when my contacts come in so I will need a driver that day.
Today, was the ear doctor to check on my hearing aids. She adjusted a few things and now some levels have been turned up so I am good to go. I am glad I got them, although I was skeptical when I first got them. I wasn't sure they helped until the week they had to be sent to the factory for fixing. Then I couldn't hear so I knew it was a good thing to have them. I don't have to go back until November now. I am glad. That will be a year for me having these.
Tomorrow is a new doctor, the endocrinologist. I have never seen this doctor so everything is new to me at this practice. Because of the prolactinemia, I have to see him. I couldn't really even tell you which one I am seeing. I have it written down though so that is good. I am not sure what all will happen, like will I have more blood tests tomorrow or not, but I will find out, that is for sure.
Lessons are on the low side and have been since Christmas. I lost a few students at Christmas because of moving and such and they never got replaced so I am really on the low side. I can only teach so much as it is. With the amount of cancellations I have had since January, wow, it is no wonder I am not stretching my dollars as well as I was. I have looked at my schedule and with some recent changes, I have some openings again. I have opened up some spots on the takelessons.com page so I am hoping they get filled soon. I need a certain amount to be able to pay the utility bills and the taxes as well as the doctor bills, which haven't been paid since March. It is not good, but I know it will get better. It always works out in the end. I am just thankful for what I have. My needs are met and my wants are few. I am happy with what I have. If I want something else, I save for it. Like right now, I am going to be starting to save for a couple day trip to Kalamazoo to see Kathy. That is on my list of things I want to do. I like going to see her in the summer, because really, I only see her about 3 to 4 times a year at the major holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Easter, and once during the summer. I am hoping she will be able to take a weekend and come to visit us, but if she can't, that is okay too. With four children and a hubby, plus work inside and outside of the home, she is very busy and I totally understand that. I like to stay in a hotel that has a pool so the kids can come and swim sometime during the visit. Otherwise, Kathy and I spend the whole time together. It is just so much fun to have some Kathy time. Other than that, I foresee a couple of day trips to see my younger brother, Andrew and maybe some cousins but that is about it. I hope to see my Aunt Michelle and Uncle John soon too. I have many Sundays off and that is my rest and visiting day. I am thinking of going to see Andrew on Sunday. I am not sure yet. It is a 2 hour drive there but that is okay. I don't mind. He is definitely worth the drive. I haven't physically seen him since September and that is a long time to go for not seeing my brother. I do text him quite a bit but that is not the same as seeing him in person but if I have to choose between texting or no contact, I will take texting. His are short and that is okay. I know he is doing well and that is what matters.
I am very tired tonight and I foresee myself going to bed rather early. With having to get up early yesterday and today, it has been extra exhausting plus I have to get up early again tomorrow. 3 days in a row is very tiring for me. What was I thinking? I wasn't, I know. I just wasn't. I made these plans without consulting my planner but I won't do that again. I will try to have my planner with me at all doctor appointments in the future. I can sleep in on Friday and I will definitely need it by then. I don't want to have a crash happen to me. Most of the time when a crash happens, I end up in the hospital and I don't want that to happen. I am working on staying healthier so I don't have to go into the hospital.
My headache is pretty bad right now since I am so exhausted. I taught a couple more lessons than usual because of make ups too but that didn't increase my headache, the exhaustion did. I have to be so careful about things like because my headaches can get so bad. The rest of the pain is just the regular pain, nothing increased so that is good.
Well, time to head off to bed for a bit of light reading and then lights out!
Today, was the ear doctor to check on my hearing aids. She adjusted a few things and now some levels have been turned up so I am good to go. I am glad I got them, although I was skeptical when I first got them. I wasn't sure they helped until the week they had to be sent to the factory for fixing. Then I couldn't hear so I knew it was a good thing to have them. I don't have to go back until November now. I am glad. That will be a year for me having these.
Tomorrow is a new doctor, the endocrinologist. I have never seen this doctor so everything is new to me at this practice. Because of the prolactinemia, I have to see him. I couldn't really even tell you which one I am seeing. I have it written down though so that is good. I am not sure what all will happen, like will I have more blood tests tomorrow or not, but I will find out, that is for sure.
Lessons are on the low side and have been since Christmas. I lost a few students at Christmas because of moving and such and they never got replaced so I am really on the low side. I can only teach so much as it is. With the amount of cancellations I have had since January, wow, it is no wonder I am not stretching my dollars as well as I was. I have looked at my schedule and with some recent changes, I have some openings again. I have opened up some spots on the takelessons.com page so I am hoping they get filled soon. I need a certain amount to be able to pay the utility bills and the taxes as well as the doctor bills, which haven't been paid since March. It is not good, but I know it will get better. It always works out in the end. I am just thankful for what I have. My needs are met and my wants are few. I am happy with what I have. If I want something else, I save for it. Like right now, I am going to be starting to save for a couple day trip to Kalamazoo to see Kathy. That is on my list of things I want to do. I like going to see her in the summer, because really, I only see her about 3 to 4 times a year at the major holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Easter, and once during the summer. I am hoping she will be able to take a weekend and come to visit us, but if she can't, that is okay too. With four children and a hubby, plus work inside and outside of the home, she is very busy and I totally understand that. I like to stay in a hotel that has a pool so the kids can come and swim sometime during the visit. Otherwise, Kathy and I spend the whole time together. It is just so much fun to have some Kathy time. Other than that, I foresee a couple of day trips to see my younger brother, Andrew and maybe some cousins but that is about it. I hope to see my Aunt Michelle and Uncle John soon too. I have many Sundays off and that is my rest and visiting day. I am thinking of going to see Andrew on Sunday. I am not sure yet. It is a 2 hour drive there but that is okay. I don't mind. He is definitely worth the drive. I haven't physically seen him since September and that is a long time to go for not seeing my brother. I do text him quite a bit but that is not the same as seeing him in person but if I have to choose between texting or no contact, I will take texting. His are short and that is okay. I know he is doing well and that is what matters.
I am very tired tonight and I foresee myself going to bed rather early. With having to get up early yesterday and today, it has been extra exhausting plus I have to get up early again tomorrow. 3 days in a row is very tiring for me. What was I thinking? I wasn't, I know. I just wasn't. I made these plans without consulting my planner but I won't do that again. I will try to have my planner with me at all doctor appointments in the future. I can sleep in on Friday and I will definitely need it by then. I don't want to have a crash happen to me. Most of the time when a crash happens, I end up in the hospital and I don't want that to happen. I am working on staying healthier so I don't have to go into the hospital.
My headache is pretty bad right now since I am so exhausted. I taught a couple more lessons than usual because of make ups too but that didn't increase my headache, the exhaustion did. I have to be so careful about things like because my headaches can get so bad. The rest of the pain is just the regular pain, nothing increased so that is good.
Well, time to head off to bed for a bit of light reading and then lights out!
Friday, May 23, 2014
5-23
I have 3 doctor appointments in a row next week. What WAS I thinking? On Tuesday I see the Eye doctor, on Wednesday, the ear doctor, and on Thursday the endocrinologist. I will be wiped out by Friday. I must remember to start bringing my planner to doctor appointments so I don't do this again. I am looking forward to seeing the eye specialist as I have never have seen one and I have macular degeneration in both eyes. I also don't think they are seeing as well as they should either. I will wait and see what the doctor has to say. The ear doctor is just the 6 month check up on my hearing aids. It shouldn't be a problem at all. They work fine and I believe they are now turned all the way up. The endocrinologist is a new doctor for the prolactinemia. He will let me know whether or not I need a MRI for the tumor on my gland, which causes the prolactinemia. He will also deal with my thyroid, which doesn't work at all. All in all, it will be an insane week but I am glad the week is finally here.
There is no school today so all the kids are home. I do hope Emily is still coming for her lesson. It is a holiday weekend and I haven't heard otherwise, but still, I worry because it is a holiday weekend. Last week, Emily had an hour lesson. She is doing very well. A little shaky on her concert song, but it will still go well. I have the program finished. I never print before Saturday because of changes that can happen at the last minute. I have really nice paper I am printing the program on. Since there are only 16 numbers, there is only one act and no need for a fancier program. Just a simply one pager will do.
Maisy had a bath today. She really does well when she is getting her bath. Maisy is very patient and let's Heather BT bathe her. She looked so cute. I have two pictures of her that I need to post on face book. She has curly fur. I never realized how curly until just now when it was wet. It looks so cute. She is just a cute girl to begin with. So, I learned how to bathe her, in case I need to in the future or for when I have my own little dog.
Megan just finished her lesson. She is singing, "I Enjoy Being a Girl", for the Spring Concert, which is Sunday. I know it isn't the best time to have it but in reality, is there ever a weekend that everyone will ever be able to make it? No. This was the best for us since April and May were so crazy busy. I still have the majority of my students attending so that is good. I am happy about that.
I have noticed in the last few weeks that my diet coke habit is getting bigger. I find myself drinking more of it. Well, time to cut that down. I am also trying to work on only eating when hungry, not just cause the clock says it is time to eat. This is a toughy for me so it will take some work. I have continued to lose weight, but I need to make sure it continues in the proper direction, down, not up.
Painwise, it is a normal pain day. My headache is the same as usual, nothing more than usual. I am more lightheaded than usual for some reason. It might be the getting used to the new medicine. I don't know. My right leg still continues to plague me at night. It is going to for a while more, I think. At least it is only that leg and not both. That would be bad. One I can deal with, two is horrifying.
Well, Emily should be here soon.
There is no school today so all the kids are home. I do hope Emily is still coming for her lesson. It is a holiday weekend and I haven't heard otherwise, but still, I worry because it is a holiday weekend. Last week, Emily had an hour lesson. She is doing very well. A little shaky on her concert song, but it will still go well. I have the program finished. I never print before Saturday because of changes that can happen at the last minute. I have really nice paper I am printing the program on. Since there are only 16 numbers, there is only one act and no need for a fancier program. Just a simply one pager will do.
Maisy had a bath today. She really does well when she is getting her bath. Maisy is very patient and let's Heather BT bathe her. She looked so cute. I have two pictures of her that I need to post on face book. She has curly fur. I never realized how curly until just now when it was wet. It looks so cute. She is just a cute girl to begin with. So, I learned how to bathe her, in case I need to in the future or for when I have my own little dog.
Megan just finished her lesson. She is singing, "I Enjoy Being a Girl", for the Spring Concert, which is Sunday. I know it isn't the best time to have it but in reality, is there ever a weekend that everyone will ever be able to make it? No. This was the best for us since April and May were so crazy busy. I still have the majority of my students attending so that is good. I am happy about that.
I have noticed in the last few weeks that my diet coke habit is getting bigger. I find myself drinking more of it. Well, time to cut that down. I am also trying to work on only eating when hungry, not just cause the clock says it is time to eat. This is a toughy for me so it will take some work. I have continued to lose weight, but I need to make sure it continues in the proper direction, down, not up.
Painwise, it is a normal pain day. My headache is the same as usual, nothing more than usual. I am more lightheaded than usual for some reason. It might be the getting used to the new medicine. I don't know. My right leg still continues to plague me at night. It is going to for a while more, I think. At least it is only that leg and not both. That would be bad. One I can deal with, two is horrifying.
Well, Emily should be here soon.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Sunday, A Day of Rest?
It is a quiet Sunday for me. I have no lessons, which in itself is not too unusual as I often don't have lessons but we have been busy for the last few Sundays so to be home on a Sunday is unusual, very unusual for me. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, well as quiet as a house can be with a 9 year old boy and a 14 year old girl in it.
Pain level isn't too high right now including my daily headache. It is about the average pain level. My right knee has started with something rather weird but that was this morning and seems to be okay now. Bodies are so weird with fibro, with how the pain migrates from area to area. It is such a mystery to me how it does that. I just try to go with the flow.
Yesterday, we had book club. I try to keep my life as "normal" as I can with this fibro stuff. I do tend to sleep more than an average person but that is because I wake up every couple hours so I never get a perfect nights sleep. It is just the way it goes. I am not up during the day as long as an average person because of my sleep habits but for me, that is okay. If you don't like it, too bad. It is my life, my illness, not yours. So, as I was saying, I try to do interesting things in addition to teaching. Now, I don't teach as much as I used to, no where near as much as I used to, but I am thrilled I can still teach. It is hard to remember what I used to be able to do and what I can do now, but whatever, that is the way it has to be. I have tried to live within my limits and that is what I am learning to do. Sometimes, I over do it, yes, but that is the way we all learn, right? The book this month was the Great Gatsby. I was bored but I got the point of the book. Star had written some very thought provoking questions that really got us some good conversation. I like that. We aren't the book club that talks about the book for 5 minutes and then talks about every thing else too, nope, we talk about the book. We did talk about the shallowness of the people in the book and compared it to the shallowness of people today, which was very interesting. Comparing the 1920s to today was interesting. I was sad that several people had to miss, but with busy schedules these days, we will never pick a day that everyone is available or if we do, it will be a fluke. The next book was picked by Star, "Lost Lake", by Sarah Addison Allen. I have it and have been waiting for book club to read it. Star has read it and loved it. It was her choice this month. I really want everyone to choose a book because that adds more flavor to the books we read. Now, I have to contact everyone and let them know what book we are reading and when we are meeting. It should be a good time, it always is.
Summer is coming and I am really hoping it isn't too slow with absences as bills must be paid. That is the bad side of fibro and the lack of being able to work full time. Stretching money to pay bills. I am learning to be thrifty. It is something that my momma tried to teach me over the years but I didn't quite get. I get it know and I find that I don't want as much materialistic stuff as I used to. I don't deny myself much. If I want something, I save for it, just like if I need it. Right now, I am saving for a couple day vacation to go and see Kathy. It is something I want to do and I am saving money for the hotel to stay at to see her. i think we will get pedicures again this year. I will save for that too. Maybe manicures too. I don't know, we will see. Maybe we will shop for a couple of outfits or something instead or do something we have never done. I don't know. It is a toss up but that is why I am saving the money so I can do something and if we don't? That is okay because the most important thing is for us to be together. I enjoy going to visit her and her family. I try to choose a hotel that has a pool so the kids can come and swim. I prefer one with a restaurant but those cost more so it is okay that I don't because to choose between the pool and the restaurant, I will choose the pool. There are several restaurants in the area where she lives we can go to together and we do. Generally, the kids come and swim a bit and then Kathy and I spend time together. Last year, we borrowed Matthew's game system to watch Game of Thrones and it was a good time. Then we went out to dinner and watched more Game of Thrones. Maybe we will do that again, maybe we won't. It is hard to say with us. The important thing is being together and having fun.
So far, our weather has not been spring like. It has either been in the 50s or high 80s. It is such an unusual year for us, with the super cold winter and the cold spring. We are about a month behind in the blooming in our plants and I fear the last rose bush my momma planted is dead. There is no growth what so ever in it. I am sad as that was one we were keeping as a memorial to my momma but if it is dead, it is dead and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing whatsoever. It is just the way it is. Heather BT is very good with flowers and plants so I am leaving the outside to her. She just looks at a plant and it grows. I have a plant from Maia and Tilley that I got in the hospital last year that is still alive, thanks to her. I would have either over or under watered it so it would not have survived. Thankfully, she is an expert and it is thriving well. I do hope we don't go straight to the super hot weather as I tend to ache more in the extreme heat and the extreme cold. Both are bad for me but since I am not in charge, I will just have to deal with what we get, I suppose.
Next Sunday is the spring concert. I am not ready. I will be by the time it arrives but right now, I am not. Star is going to make the program, I just have to collect what everyone is playing or singing. I have a few students who will not be in it, which I expected since it is a holiday weekend and also, there is never a concert everyone will attend. I am excited about the concert, just not ready for it, teacher-wise yet. I am trying to keep my anxiety down on this one too so I don't raise my anxiety or my pain level as concerts tend to do both. i refuse to give in and not do concerts, but I must prepare for the concert a head of time to keep anxiety down. Anxiety is so annoying at times.
Well, on to either words with friends or cleaning out my drawers. I am not sure which.
Pain level isn't too high right now including my daily headache. It is about the average pain level. My right knee has started with something rather weird but that was this morning and seems to be okay now. Bodies are so weird with fibro, with how the pain migrates from area to area. It is such a mystery to me how it does that. I just try to go with the flow.
Yesterday, we had book club. I try to keep my life as "normal" as I can with this fibro stuff. I do tend to sleep more than an average person but that is because I wake up every couple hours so I never get a perfect nights sleep. It is just the way it goes. I am not up during the day as long as an average person because of my sleep habits but for me, that is okay. If you don't like it, too bad. It is my life, my illness, not yours. So, as I was saying, I try to do interesting things in addition to teaching. Now, I don't teach as much as I used to, no where near as much as I used to, but I am thrilled I can still teach. It is hard to remember what I used to be able to do and what I can do now, but whatever, that is the way it has to be. I have tried to live within my limits and that is what I am learning to do. Sometimes, I over do it, yes, but that is the way we all learn, right? The book this month was the Great Gatsby. I was bored but I got the point of the book. Star had written some very thought provoking questions that really got us some good conversation. I like that. We aren't the book club that talks about the book for 5 minutes and then talks about every thing else too, nope, we talk about the book. We did talk about the shallowness of the people in the book and compared it to the shallowness of people today, which was very interesting. Comparing the 1920s to today was interesting. I was sad that several people had to miss, but with busy schedules these days, we will never pick a day that everyone is available or if we do, it will be a fluke. The next book was picked by Star, "Lost Lake", by Sarah Addison Allen. I have it and have been waiting for book club to read it. Star has read it and loved it. It was her choice this month. I really want everyone to choose a book because that adds more flavor to the books we read. Now, I have to contact everyone and let them know what book we are reading and when we are meeting. It should be a good time, it always is.
Summer is coming and I am really hoping it isn't too slow with absences as bills must be paid. That is the bad side of fibro and the lack of being able to work full time. Stretching money to pay bills. I am learning to be thrifty. It is something that my momma tried to teach me over the years but I didn't quite get. I get it know and I find that I don't want as much materialistic stuff as I used to. I don't deny myself much. If I want something, I save for it, just like if I need it. Right now, I am saving for a couple day vacation to go and see Kathy. It is something I want to do and I am saving money for the hotel to stay at to see her. i think we will get pedicures again this year. I will save for that too. Maybe manicures too. I don't know, we will see. Maybe we will shop for a couple of outfits or something instead or do something we have never done. I don't know. It is a toss up but that is why I am saving the money so I can do something and if we don't? That is okay because the most important thing is for us to be together. I enjoy going to visit her and her family. I try to choose a hotel that has a pool so the kids can come and swim. I prefer one with a restaurant but those cost more so it is okay that I don't because to choose between the pool and the restaurant, I will choose the pool. There are several restaurants in the area where she lives we can go to together and we do. Generally, the kids come and swim a bit and then Kathy and I spend time together. Last year, we borrowed Matthew's game system to watch Game of Thrones and it was a good time. Then we went out to dinner and watched more Game of Thrones. Maybe we will do that again, maybe we won't. It is hard to say with us. The important thing is being together and having fun.
So far, our weather has not been spring like. It has either been in the 50s or high 80s. It is such an unusual year for us, with the super cold winter and the cold spring. We are about a month behind in the blooming in our plants and I fear the last rose bush my momma planted is dead. There is no growth what so ever in it. I am sad as that was one we were keeping as a memorial to my momma but if it is dead, it is dead and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing whatsoever. It is just the way it is. Heather BT is very good with flowers and plants so I am leaving the outside to her. She just looks at a plant and it grows. I have a plant from Maia and Tilley that I got in the hospital last year that is still alive, thanks to her. I would have either over or under watered it so it would not have survived. Thankfully, she is an expert and it is thriving well. I do hope we don't go straight to the super hot weather as I tend to ache more in the extreme heat and the extreme cold. Both are bad for me but since I am not in charge, I will just have to deal with what we get, I suppose.
Next Sunday is the spring concert. I am not ready. I will be by the time it arrives but right now, I am not. Star is going to make the program, I just have to collect what everyone is playing or singing. I have a few students who will not be in it, which I expected since it is a holiday weekend and also, there is never a concert everyone will attend. I am excited about the concert, just not ready for it, teacher-wise yet. I am trying to keep my anxiety down on this one too so I don't raise my anxiety or my pain level as concerts tend to do both. i refuse to give in and not do concerts, but I must prepare for the concert a head of time to keep anxiety down. Anxiety is so annoying at times.
Well, on to either words with friends or cleaning out my drawers. I am not sure which.
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