Mom is doing alright. She didn't really cry to much when I was there this evening. She barely ate dinner though and passed up a snack at bedtime. Usually after dinner she falls asleep so they change her and put her into bed. I stayed for a couple of hours today. Mom was in better spirits so I think her infection must be clearing up. She is still a bit more confused than usual because of the infection, but that is normal for this situation. I am counting down the days until she comes home. I think I write that every night. Hmm, maybe I should stop doing that. I am getting calmer and calmer over this situation. I am sleeping a bit better now than I was last week. One more week, just one more week, that is what I keep telling myself. My pain level hasn't come completely back to normal yet, but I figure by the end of the week it should. My head isn't too bad, but it is more than the normal pain I have. My arm was a bit sore last night and this morning, but now it has calmed down.

I haven't cleared the table yet nor have I started Emily's dress. I will be working on the dress this weekend. I need help getting the sewing machine out of the trunk and I am sure Ross will do it for me tomorrow. I will get all my tools out tomorrow after I swiffer the floor. I don't want the floor dirty in case the dress accidentally reaches it. I don't remember how full the dress it and I don't want any dirt on it. I plan to do the dress in the afternoon before I go to help with Mom's dinner. I'd bring her a donut, but she didn't eat the last two I brought her. Oh yeah, speaking of food, the are switching Mom to pureed food because at lunch she spit out all the food that wasn't pureed. I guess she just couldn't swallow it then. She ate her little carrots okay and the couple of bits of pizza but she scarfed down the mashed potatoes. She loves potatoes, just loves them.

I may go to a movie on Sunday. Not really sure yet, but I might. I don't have anything else to do on Sunday except perhaps a movie. I am going to see what Katie is up too this weekend. I haven't seen her in forever it seems. Wednesday, I am meeting my friend, Wendy for tea at Tim Horton's after I am finished with Mom's lunch. We are meeting at 1:30. It should be so much fun.

I know have finished 5 out of the 6 used books I bought. I may have to take a quick run tomorrow for some more. I haven't been to the storage unit yet to check what books are there. If it doesn't rain Sunday, I will go. I need something to read for next week, the last week before Momma comes home.

It is raining out now. It was pretty nice most of the day, it is a bit cooler but still in the mid 70's, so it was nice weather out, before the rain I mean. It started about 5 minutes before I left from visiting Mom. I was going to leave a few minutes before I did, but I was chatting with Mom and didn't realize the time. She was starting to fall asleep. Silly me to get caught in the rain. At least the downpour (the 5 whole minute downpour) was mostly over so I didn't get soaked.

I hope this finds you doing well and not getting totally soaked in the rain!

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I haven't seen Mom today, I had a doctor appointment and I have a lesson so I won't make any meals with her today. I did speak to the social worker. She called to give me an update on Mom. She is making progress with her physical and occupational therapy, so yeah! to Mom on that one. She also checked into why Mom cries, apparently she cries when I am there. So now what do I do? I can't not visit her, but I make her cry when I do because when I am not there she doesn't think about coming home anymore. She is used to there now. I won't be able to see her today because of my schedule, however I am planning to see her for dinner tomorrow. I will also find out then how her infection is coming along. I know the doctor ordered more blood work yesterday about this issue. My blood pressure was a bit high at the doctors today. I explained why I was so stressed, she said to try and relax about that whole thing. Easier said than done that is for sure. Also, I gained the 2 pounds I had lost. Yuck on that. My weight is going in the wrong direction again. I will do something about that. I am counting down the days until Mom is here with me. I miss her. I am trying to enjoy my time away from her, but it is hard as I take care of her all day everyday. There are some things I don't miss though, I will freely admit that. I don't miss helping her with the bathroom and getting ready for the day or the night. That I don't miss. I miss her during the daytime, you know, how she is during the day. That is what I miss. I don't miss the work part of it at all. I did enjoy telling the nurse assistant that Mom had to go to the bathroom and I didn't have to help with it! It was a relief not to do that. But, still, I do miss her a lot. I am getting used to being on my own and today, to my relief, I found that I am not lonely. I was the last week and the first part of this week. I am enjoying being on my own today. So yeah! for me! I have a link to look at later today after my lesson about a dog. I haven't decided that yet, I need to inspect our house a bit more to see if it is dog or cat ready. I think a pet would be good for me and Mom. She loves animals, but is sometimes afraid of bigger dogs than the smaller ones. I think it would be good therapy for her, but I need to inspect our house and check our funds to see we will be okay.

I talked to Richard, the big brother!, yesterday. I was so excited when he answered the phone. He is going to come and visit us before July after Mom comes home. She will be pleased to see him. I told him she knows who he is and everything, so I think he is happy about that. He is imagining a time when she won't know who he is. I think this last episode with Mom and the hospital had him thinking about her a lot. I told him flat out that last Wednesday when I called him I thought she was dying. Now she isn't. I gave him the scoop on her. He said he would call this weekend, I won't hold my breath because he is very busy but I would love to talk more with him! I haven't been able to get a hold of Andrew, the little brother, yet. I gave up trying. He is just too difficult to get a hold of. I spoke with Richard about what I needed to talk to him about and we made the decision for mom. I tried my hardest with Andrew but he will just have to respect the decision we made. I know he will. Mom comes home in 11 days. I am counting them. I have 11 more peaceful filled days in the Paxton residence before the chaos begins again!

I am looking forward for the rest of the week's lessons and sewing. I haven't been to sewing in 3 weeks. I will be working on Emily's dress this evening after dinner and Frank's lesson. She should be ready for her last fitting on Saturday or early next week, which ever fits the busy girl's schedule. I will also be starting Lily's dress next week so both will be done in time for the wedding even with the craziness of the schedule of visiting Mom.

Pain is back to the normal including the arm and head today. I am a bit more tired than usual as I couldn't sleep last night, don't really know why. I wasn't in more pain than usual, but I did get up a bit earlier than normal because of the doctor appointment and the few errands I had to run before the appointment. I will be heading for bed a bit early I think tonight. I am enjoying reading and working on the computer. I hope this finds you doing well.

So I found out part of the reason Mom is so teary-eyed. Her urinary tract infection is still really bad. They can't seem to get it under control so that is making her emotions go a little wacky. I was glad to discover that because I was about to take her home because she was so miserable. Well, I can't because she needs the medicine and the watchful eye of nurses 24/7 until this thing is cleared up. She cried a bit during lunch because she thought she was getting her shirt dirty with food. I quickly pointed out that she had an apron (okay - a bib) on and she didn't get any food on that either. Then she said, Oh, okay and was fine. The nurse also said she isn't eating much either because she just isn't feeling well. She ate even less today that yesterday. I am now fine with where she is because I know if they don't get it under control they will send her back to Beaumont for further medicines and doctors and such. I hope the tests they do today will be better and she some improvement. Poor thing, she doesn't need this on top of everything else. She is doing fine during physical therapy, yes, they sometimes have to convince her to go. But she will go and then she is fine. She is very tired but I don't think as tired as she was yesterday or the day before. She hasn't also said that her eyes are sore which is a good sign that she is getting some sleep. I still miss her but seeing her everyday is a big help. I am starting to enjoy the peace and quiet around here. I still haven't done everything I said I would do while she is gone, but there is still 12 days left to this. I have been reading a bit more, although I do read with Mom here. She reads her books and I read mine. It is nice quiet time for us.

My friend, Heather, has suggested perhaps I look into getting a dog or a cat. It sounds like a pretty good idea. I will be thinking about that while Mom is temporarily away. It would be good company for both of us, especially when I am by myself. My only real concern right now is that our house isn't exactly where I want it to be, organized-wise. There are still rooms that need to be uncluttered. I will pray about it and think some more.

I am not so stressed now that I know the infection is causing Mom so much emotional ups and downs. I know that some of the tears are because she misses me, but not all of them and she is doing pretty well. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment right before lunch so I won't be able to see her for lunch. I have a lesson right before dinner, so it is iffy if I make it to her dinner. We shall see tomorrow, lunch is definitely out, but not possibly dinner. I plan to visit her sometime tomorrow. Friday is sewing and I am so looking forward to that! It has been 3 weeks since we did sewing and the girls are almost done.

Calli had her lesson today. She is doing so well. She finished learning a song and is learning a new one. I love listening to her play. Her brother, Acer, was here too. He hasn't been to a lesson in a few weeks, although I see him for knitting, I miss the little guy when he isn't here for Calli's lesson. He likes to play with the violins. Heather brought up the dulcimer for him to play with today too. I love how both kids love music and all different instruments. It is so fun to watch and listen. Bob had his lesson today too. He is almost done with one of his songs. His music is so much more complicated now that it takes weeks to learn it and polish it up. He made a few mistakes as he played today, but he knows where they are and will have them fixed by next week. We are also doing a bit of jazz exercises for him too. They are so fun.

Pain is not as high as yesterday, although I do still more of a headache than usual. Kind of annoying, but what can you do? It rained mostly today, which is probably what caused the bigger headache, that and the extra stress. I have just come to the conclusion that I am a control freak when it comes to care with my mother. I have to be in charge and it is hard for me not to be in charge. I am working on that fault and am praying about it a lot this week. I am working on letting it go and let others take care of her. She is in a good place so it isn't like I have to worry about that. They are very well cared for. I just like to be in charge and that is it.

I hope this finds you doing well and having some sunshine!!!!!!

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Happy June everyone!

Mom is having a sad day today. Apparently she cried through her physical therapy session this morning. She worked out on the machines and did exercises this morning. I was glad to hear that. Made me feel much better than yesterday about my decision to place her temporarily. She has occupational therapy this evening. She ate pretty well for her at lunch. I encouraged her to feed herself and she did do it through most of it. I only fed her a bit when I knew she could fit a bit more in. She did pretty well by herself, so yes, she still has that skill! Yeah! She hasn't forgotten how to eat. I got there before she was finished with therapy so I waited in the lounge for her. She gave me a big smile when she saw me. I knew then she was having a crying day. She has them here at home too, it is just part of the disease, a non-pleasant part, but a part of it. When Mom forgets something she thinks she should know she cries. I am used to it by now. Her anxiety medicine has helped with the tears too, she doesn't cry as much as she used to. I messaged my cousin, Cathy, through face book yesterday and she gave me some suggestions on what to do. Since Mom had a full session of physical therapy today, I am happier with the nursing center. They are very nice there and the staff is caring, it just isn't home to Mom. She didn't ask to come home today so that is a step in the right direction. I let her know that in 12 days she was coming home and she smiled. I only stayed about an hour because after her big morning and lunch she was tired. I wanted her to get some sleep before her occupational therapy session this afternoon. I don't know what type of things they do but it helps her and that is what counts.

I went to the used bookstore after I left Mom, I got 6 new (well, used) books by my favorite authors. I donated about 17 boxes of books 2 summers ago and have been sad I did that ever since because now I have the time to read. I am not feeling really well today. My head and tummy aren't happy campers, but I took medicine and will rest in the living room before my wonderful lessons. I have 2 this afternoon. I can't wait. Without Mom here, I live for teaching. 12 days and counting!

It is really nice out, after my lessons I am going to put my scooter together and go for a scoot. Then when I get home I will charge it because it will probably need it. At least now the automatic garage door opener works. We got that situation fixed last fall and by end of summer, my lovely, little car will be in the garage for the winter!!!!! How cool is that?? She has never been in the garage since I got her in December of 2006, but by then she will be. No more uncovering the little girl of snow! yeah! I am a bit excited about this. The garage will be emptied! I can't wait.

I hope this finds you having a good day and enjoying the nice weather outside!

I made it just in time for lunch. I was able to help them by feeding Mom. They have several nurse assistants that help with that, but they have to pass out the trays first so I just sailed right in and started serving Mom. Mom smiled when I got there. She was asking for help. The nurse assistant said she really appreciated my coming and helping her. I plan to be there everyday except Friday for lunch, Fridays, I will be there for dinner. This will help them a bit and Mom and I can do some bonding over feeding her. She never was really fed until she went into the hospital. don't know what I will do when we are here at home. I may continue feeding her or just helping when she needs it. She can feed herself, it has just been a week since she has done it herself. I think she forgot she can do it. They also have her in a wheelchair when she goes into the dining room. She can walk. I know she is weak, but she can walk. I am worried what 2 more weeks of a wheelchair is going to do to her muscles. Did I make the right decision? I just don't know now. She could feed herself and walk before I took her to the hospital, does this mean she can't anymore? I mean, she could go up and down stairs too. What is going to happen about that? I am really nervous about her coming home now. I want her walking more in the home, she can walk. I told the physical therapist that too. I don't need her coming home weaker than she already is, she needs to be strong. That was the only reason I agreed to this. Also, they just left water by her bed. A lot of good that is going to do. She needs to be reminded to take a drink. That is what I do, only now I will do it every hour and I will have her drink with me all the time so even when we are out, I will have a drink for her. Right now, she can barely hold a cup to drink. I had to hold it up to her. What has this past week done to my mom?

I also think I am in more pain than normal because it is more stressing for me to have her away from me than with me. I know it would seem the opposite, but it isn't. It is much more stress to have her placed for 2 weeks than spending the 2 weeks with her. I did talk to the physical therapist and told her what she wanted to know. How our house is laid out, are there stairs, where is her room, does she walk by herself or with a walker, etc. Those type of questions. She tried to ask Mom, but she couldn't answer. I did hear the phone at 7:56 this morning, I just couldn't get to it in time. Fortunately, she called back around 10 am and I answered this time. I am moving the phone to be closer to me at night in case I get a phone call concerning Mom. I will be setting my alarm to get up at 10:30 all this week and next so that I can be at the nursing center for lunch to help out with Mom. It worked really well today. I fed Mom, we went on the patio, Mom started falling asleep, and then we went back in and the assistant put her in bed. I left about 1:30 pm because she was almost asleep. Perfect timing. That way, she may not get as upset as she can. They said she did cry a couple of times this morning, but nothing major. If she starts getting too upset, I will bring her home, simple as that. She has been away from me for over a week and she doesn't like it. She hasn't called for me yet, although at lunch she said her daughter would help and then I arrived. Perfect timing for that one.

My arm is pretty sore today so is my head. I forgot to take my morning meds so I am going to take them in a few minutes. It looks like it is about the thunderstorm. Fun. Just what we need, well, we do need the rain. Our lawn is looking peaked and brown. I am glad I am home for the rest of the day in case it does rain. I am going to read a bit and then work on Emily's dress. I want it all pinned so she can come and try it on one more time to make sure it is okay. In about 1 1/2 weeks I will work on Lily's. They both look so grown up in these dresses, especially Lily. She is only 12. I'd like her to stay that way for a while. I don't want her to grow up too fast, she already has in some ways.

I hope this finds you doing well. Enjoy your Memorial Day.

Mom has been discharged and transferred to the nursing center!!! Finally!!! After 3 days she has been moved! I have started the countdown until she is home. yup, I am counting down the days. She was asleep when I got there but she woke up a bit just when I was about to sit on the chair. Her lunch was delivered and ready for her. She had to go to the bathroom so I help as best as I could after I hit the nurses call button. After that, I fed her lunch and she ate pretty okay. The nursing center knows that she may need help with eating and dressing. I also let them know that she is very frightened over all the changes that have been made for her. She doesn't really have a clue where she is, all she knows is that when she calls my name, I am not there and that frightens her because we are together all the time. Every day, all day, she is with me. Rarely do I have someone watch her for me because usually I can bring her with me so I do. It has been a strange week without her around. I don't really like sleeping in the house all by myself but I am getting used to it. It just is strange for the both of us.

Mom's roommate is very nice. She has a broken knee so she will be there a while for physical therapy too. I forgot to pack Mom's toothbrush and hairbrush. Oops. I will bring them tomorrow. I had so many papers to fill out it was unbelievable, simply unbelievable. I would say there was at least 25 to 30 pieces of paper I had to sign for her. Mom slept through the end of it. When I left she was out like a light so I didn't wake her. She said her eyes even hurt from being so tired. She is just plain exhausted, completely exhausted. I expect her to sleep a lot this week there. At least she won't be woken up every 2 hours to be turned. The nurses have cream to put on her bottom. I didn't sign her up for the phone or the TV because she wouldn't know how to use either anyways, so why bother pay for something she isn't going to use? That would be silly and stupid and a waste of good money when we have bills that need to be paid. I am thankful that medicare pays 100% up to 20 days and since Mom will only be there for 14 days, it is paid for. We don't have the money for the co-pay after that, but we won't need it so it doesn't even matter. Mom will be home and I will be a happy camper. So will Mom. I think she will be happy to go home.

Pain is a bit high today. Not really sure why. I am not as tired as I was earlier today, I got up just in time for Katie's lesson. I set the alarm for the wrong time, but we fit the lesson in and that is what counts. She is doing well and is learning some new music. She has a book that has one of my favorite songs in it!!!! Red as the rose!!! It is an old Irish song that I heard about 10 years ago. I have been looking for that song ever since and Katie has it! I am so excited about that. She is going to make me a copy of it and the CD. How cool is that? Pretty cool, I'd say! I am planning to give that to Lily, I think she will love the song.

It is a bit hot outside, but a nice change from freezing all winter. I did have to turn the A/C up a bit as it was cold in the house. This new thermostat keeps the temp a bit different than the old one which I think wasn't giving us the proper temp anyways.

I hope this finds you doing well and enjoying the holiday weekend!

Mom is delayed again for her discharge. It is now tomorrow, Sunday. They didn't give her the medicine she needed last night to clear up her issue, so they gave it to her today. I know, because I was there when she took it. She ate pretty good for lunch, she finished all her beans and her rice. She ate 1/2 of the pudding (it was a boost pudding) and 1/3 of her chicken and gravy. She drank 7 oz of her apple juice, it had some medicine in it too. Overall, I am disappointed they didn't give it too her yesterday, she usually needs some help with this issue, but hey, it is fixed now. I plan to be there at 11:00 tomorrow so maybe I will see the doctor although, I imagine she has to have a day off sometime. I hope Mom goes to the nursing center tomorrow so I can start my countdown until she is home. I am not going to call Richard or Andrew for an update today because I have nothing really to say except it is moved to tomorrow. I will call them as soon as she is placed. She fell asleep after lunch and the medicine and her walk. Physical Therapy came to see her and they took her up and down the hall. She did really well. She cooperated with them and everything. I was pleased. I think she will cooperate with physical therapy at the nursing center. I remembered to bring her undies today. I put them in the suitcase and the blue bag. There is a blue bag missing with Mom's little red jacket in it. I left the nurses station now because it is a really good little jacket for mom. I don't want to lose it, although if I have to buy another I will. It's just this one is lined with sweatshirt material and has a hood on it in case it rains. Mom really likes it. I hope they find it. I am sure they will. I knew I should have brought it home on Thursday when I saw it. Stupid me. Then I would for sure have it. They moved her room again and the jacket didn't go with her, that is why I am worried about it. I looked in the old room's cupboard and it wasn't there so I am not sure where it went. I wish I knew where we got it from. Her blue one isn't as nice as this one because it isn't as warm. Her gray hoodie fits underneath it too which it doesn't under the blue one. I am hopeful they find it.

Pain is a bit higher in the head today and the hands. The weather is beautiful though, nice and sunny and not too hot or humid. I don't have many plans today except to read a bit and fiddle around online. I am going to do some laundry too, I am running out of t-shirts to wear again, need to buy some more too. I have several I can't wear anymore due to stains. I want to purchase four new t-shirts for the summer.

I don't have any special plans for the holiday weekend. Everything depends on the Mom. We were supposed to go to my Uncle's tomorrow, but of course, I had to cancel that. We will reschedule as soon as Mom is home and feeling better. She likes going to see her little brother and I think he enjoys seeing her even if she falls asleep in the afternoon at his house. He didn't mind. He knows the scoop on her condition, he just wants to spend as much time with her as he can while he can. I know the feeling. I want to make sure her last whatever, (months, weeks, days, years, etc) are happy ones for her. She deserves it, she has had a hard life at times.

I hope this finds you doing well and having a great weekend! Enjoy the nice weather if you have it!

Mom will not be discharged today, but tomorrow. She has a bit of a constipation problem and apparently the nursing home would send her right back into the hospital for that. That would not be good. The doctor ordered some medicine to take care of the issue tonight, so that is good. I am to be at the hospital by noon to sign her papers. I have her suitcase ready except for her undies. Apparently, the disposable undies are causing her a problem and the nurse has asked for regular undies for her. I will wash and bring them to her. I miss her being here. I know we don't talk all day like we used, she isn't capable of being that verbal, but I miss her presence. Fortunately, I know she is in good hands and will be moving to good hands so that keeps me going. I am anxious to have her home, but at the same time I want her stronger and if physical therapy for her is better in the home right now, then that is where she will go. I do plan to visit everyday so that she doesn't get too lonely and feel afraid. After she is discharged from the nursing home I will have a plan in place to make sure I focus on hydrating her so this doesn't happen again. She ate pretty well at lunch. I fed her some macaroni and cheese and pudding and it looked like she ate some fruit and mashed potatoes before I got there. She has a bottle of water by her bed too. The nurses aid said every time she comes in to turn Mom she gets her to drink a bit of the water, plus she is still hooked up to the IV. Everything is going pretty well for her, despite the little hiccup in the plan. I have tomorrow off now so I can devote the entire afternoon to Mom's settling in at the home.

I did speak to Andrew, he didn't get any of my messages. I gave him the update and said I would call if there were any changes to the plan. I spoke to Richard too and he said to call as soon as she is placed tomorrow so I will. I am much more confident about Mom's condition now that she is doing better and almost ready to come home. Once Mom is home I plan to have her eat of drink something every hour during the day so this doesn't happen again. Apparently, every 2 to 3 hours clearly isn't good enough. I gave the update to my Uncle John too. We were supposed to go to his house on Sunday, but obviously, we aren't going. We will go once Mom is home and better. She will enjoy the visit with her brother.

I am enjoying the peace and quiet of the house now. I didn't the last time I had the house to myself, but this time I am. Tillie will be over next week for a bit and then before I know it, Mom will be home. I just read and watched a bit of TV last night before chatting with my friend, Karlyn and my cousin, Hayley. Karlyn has been a great help to me over this whole event. She has chatted with me on face book almost every night, listening to my fears, which are pretty much gone now. She has 2 girls and 1 boy and I have their Christmas picture, they are very very cute. Julianne and Alexis sent me messages via their mom too. I mean, how sweet can you get? They are very compassionate little girls.

Pain level is normal with a bit of a headache. Don't really know why I have more of a headache than usual because it isn't raining, it is beautiful outside. It isn't too humid or muggy out either. Who knows? FMS is a strange disease and does strange things to a body, that's all I know. I think I will take another pain pill and then my student should be here shortly. It has been a quiet day.

Mom will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow! Yeah! She is doing better today! Yesterday was just a bad day for her. I don't know why, but today is better. She will be transferring to a nursing home for 2 weeks, then she will come home to me! I can't wait for that. I miss her when she isn't around. I know she misses me. While I was there, Physical Therapy came by to see her and they got her up out of bed and using a walker, out for a walk. She did have to take a detour to the bathroom, but then she went for a walk. How exciting. Yesterday, I thought I was at the end for her, but now it seems she has rallied a bit and is back to doing how she was before she went into the hospital. I do realistically realize that this may happen again since eating and drinking are very hard for her, but I can deal with it as it comes. I feel much stronger today, but I wasn't yesterday. Today, I can handle anything that is handed to me, yesterday, not so much. I have a good support system so that is good. I do have some laundry to do for her because I don't have enough clean for her so I can pack a suitcase for her to take to the nursing home for her. I, fortunately, have enough clean tee shirts and sweats for her and socks, however, her pair of jeans are dirty as well as her pajamas. I want her to look cute as she is having her physical therapy for the next 2 weeks. Thank goodness we found her clothes. There are some in the spare room too. I will pack later this afternoon and put the suitcase in the front hall so I don't forget to bring it to her tomorrow. I have papers to sign for her tomorrow since Mom can't really sign for herself. I am her patient advocate and her power of attorney person. I will take good care of her. I will be counting down the days until she comes home though, since I miss her so much. I will also enjoy the break from the day to day grind of taking care of her. I plan to put some stargate in this afternoon to watch. I love that show.

I am having such a good day, pain is down and Mom is doing well! What could be better (outside of Mom being home with me having a good day)?

If Richard wants to come and visit now, that would be fine, but I don't feel the need for him to be here. With Mom doing good and going to a new place tomorrow, I think she is on the road to recovery as much as she can. She probably will know him right now if he comes. She seems to know who he is when I talk about him and the family, so that is a good thing.

It is warm outside today. The sun is shining although a possible storm later this afternoon.