Feeling a bit better 10-10

I am feeling a bit better and much, much, much calmer than I did on Sunday night when I got home.  I so appreciate the prayers and comments.  I am no longer as upset as I was.  I think taking the few days to think, pray, and calm down really helped.  I still have some decisions to make, but over all, it will work out somehow.  I do have faith that God will show me what to do and where to turn.  Sometimes I just seem to forget to ask Him and try to go without Him.  We all know what a mistake that is!!!

I met with my friend, Jen from high school and her mom for lunch today.  She is such a good friend and I really like her mom too.  We had a great time chatting away during the meal.  We went to Olive Garden and I got the soup with salad lunch so I stayed on the healthy side of food.  I must confess that I am getting rather frustrating with the losing of weight as I have somehow managed to gain what I had originally lost.  Fortunately, next week Wednesday, I am going to the hospital for a seminar about their weight loss program.  I am not interested in the surgery as I would not be a candidate for it with my blood disorder, however I do believe they have other options so that is what I will look into.  I just hope it doesn't cost that much.  We shall see.

I have a few lesson tonight.  I am so thankful for the lessons I do have.  Tomorrow I have a new one for voice.  Her name is Rachael and she wants to be an opera singer so we will start with the 24 Italian art songs and arias along with the young singer.  She also wants to be able to read music and I did tell her that would be very necessary for her goal.  I am so glad that she is starting tomorrow and not next week!

I am working on being thrifty.  It is hard but I am doing okay with it.  I am not as good as mom with stretching the dollar as well as she could, but overall I think I am doing okay.  This is also Sarah's second lesson with me today.  I am glad that she remembers as much as she does since she hadn't had a piano lesson in about a year.  She is a very sweet young lady.  I think she will fit right in with all the other students.  She is quiet but that will help balance out the ones that aren't very quiet.  I do have quite a few that are quiet and several who are more outgoing.  Mostly, I have notice that my students are nice to each other and some of them have even become friends.  For example, Natalie Z and Calli are friends now after meeting at the concerts.  I am having the girls do a Christmas Duet this year in addition to their solos.  I think it will be really good and they will sound nice together.

My CD player that I use for teaching has died.  It will not read anymore CDs so I had to purchase a new one tonight after lessons.  I hope I picked a good one, it wasn't too expensive so that was good.  I just didn't want to have to get one right now.  Oh well, this should last for a few years.

Last week I had my hair cut.  It is just about at the shoulders.  The stylist cut about 12 inches off my hair.  I had had a bad headache for 3 days the previous weekend and I could feel each strand of my hair so it had to go.  I do like it and the important thing, it is easier to wash and brush being a bit shorter also it can still go in a ponytail.

I am going to read for a bit and then head to bed.

I am not sure what to say today.  So much happened last night that I just don't know what to say.  It has left me speechless and I am rarely, if ever, speechless.  Needless to say, I need prayers, lots and lots of them for guidance on what to do next.  Decisions have to be made and I am not sure which way to go, I really don't know.  I can't give any specifics, but they are big decisions and I need lots of prayers to make the right choice.  If ever I have needed God's help, this is it.

It has been very hard for me both emotionally and financially since the passing of my mom.  I miss her every minute of every day and I suspect I will until I die.  I finally now feel like I have some headway and much more sure footing with the financial end of things.  I still have the signs up on her bedroom door and mine that say whose room is whose.  Mom got confused one day and so I put up a sign so she knew it was her room.  It was actually kind of cute how she would read the sign every night so she knew it was her room.  I miss the little things like that of her.  Most of all, I miss her smile and telling me that she loves me and me telling her how much I love her.  See her pictures usually make me smile.

I am very tired tonight.  I had to get up early for a doctor's appointment.  I had to have several tubes of blood drawn for several different tests.  It took 4 pokes today to draw me.  It was rather painful since it took so many pokes.  Thankfully, they did finally get it done.  I have anemia and the doctors can't really find out why.  At this point, I do not have an ulcer.  It is gone so there isn't any bleeding in my stomach.  I take iron now, which is something I couldn't do a few months ago.

I think I will just read for a bit and then go to bed early.  I am just so tired from last evening.

Friendships 10-6

I just finished a book called Firefly Lane.  It is by Kristin Hannah and it is a wonderful book.  It is about 2 friends and their lives, which made me think about the friendship of Kathy and I.  Kathy and I met when we were about 3 as far as we know.  We both went to the same church and were in Sunday School together.  Neither one of us actually remembers meeting the other, we just know that we have always be a pair.  Then when we started school, we went to the same school and were in the same classroom from Kindergarten to 3rd grade.  During our school years we had the usual ups and downs as most friends do.  We didn't go to the same college.  Kathy went to Western Michigan and I went to Wayne State.  We would write each other letters about college and quite often the letters were written while we should have been taking notes in our classes.  That was something we both did quite a lot.  After college, Kathy moved back into this area.  We would hang out and watch the original 90210 and Melrose Place every week with friends.  Those were our shows no matter how ridicules they became.  We would yell at the TV at Michael and how bad his character was, but overall, it was just bonding and enjoying the company.  When Kathy met Tony, now her husband, she didn't tell us right away.  I remember her wedding so vividly.  I was so excited for her.  It was one of the best days of my life.  I was so happy that she had found her husband.  Kathy was so tired by the time her wedding came, that I think I was a bit more excited than her.  It was just an amazing day.

This evening was a fun one.  Aggie came over for sewing.  We went to the fabric store, picked out a costume pattern, bought the fabric and then went back here.  Then we fitted the pattern to her and proceeded to cut out the pieces.  Right now it is a bag where it will be safe.  I plan to put some of the pieces together this week before she comes home next weekend.

I had 2 lessons today, Nina and Sean.  It was Sean's first time.  He did quite well.  I did expect he would because he is very interested in music.  This was Nina's 3rd lesson and she is doing very well too.  I think most of my students doing quite well.  There are only a small number that do not practice so they do not learn as much as my other students.  I do what I can with them and they do like coming for lessons so that is a good thing.

It is getting late now, so I am going to read for a bit.  I am starting a new book tonight since I finished the other this morning.

Oh my, Friday 10-5

I am actually rather glad that it is Friday, but my I am tired tonight.

I had my hair cut on Monday.  it is about at my shoulders right now instead of halfway down my back. I don't really miss the long hair yet.  However, after a few days in a row of having really bad headaches that I could feel every piece of hair on my head, I had to get it cut.  I do like it though.

Today was a busy day with some lessons and running errands.  I had to go and get a lesson book for my new student tomorrow.  I only have 2 lessons tomorrow.  Aggie is coming over to work on sewing for her Halloween costume.  She is going to be Merida from the movie Brave.  She will look so cute as Merida although she doesn't have red hair like Merida does.

It is getting colder out now since it is October.  October used to be my favorite month, now I hate it.  This is the month that I lost my mom.  I still miss her a lot, but it is much easier getting through the days and nights than it was a couple of months ago.  My friend, Star's Mom helped me a lot plus I now think about the day we will be reunited in Heaven and never to be a part again.  I look forward to that day, but meanwhile, I will live as best as I can.

Headaches-wise, my head was really sore yesterday but I did manage to teach and go to choir practice. Tonight it is a medium bad headache.  I have taken something for it so I hope it goes down to the regular, everyday headache.  For some reason, my shins and calves have been hurting a lot these past few days.  I don't know why or what I did to it, but I am thankful that it is getting better.

I was reading one of my regular blogs that I read and something struck me.  I don't understand people, but I guess on one of the facebook pages for Fibro, there is some really mean comments.  I mean, seriously, we should be sticking together instead of insulting each other.  I just don't understand that kind of thing.  It is the same with the tabloids, who reads them?  Who even believes them?  I can't even look at their front page.  It is so mean and invading people's privacy.  Anyways, I have never understood this kind of behavior.  If we don't stick together and stand up to the nay sayers, who will?

Sunday will be Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner and a 50th birthday party for my lovely cousin, Maia.  I hope she likes what I got her.

a confession 10-2

I must confess that I have not been doing well with the giving up diet coke.  Yes, it is true.  Last evening I went to Chipotle for dinner and out of habit, I ordered a drink and filled it with diet coke before I remembered that I had given up diet coke and pop in general.  Ugh, this is not very easy like I had hoped.  I will try again tomorrow.  It reminds me of a part of Anne of Green Gables when Anne says something to the effect of how great tomorrow it is a day that isn't filled with mistakes yet.  I love Anne of Green Gables.  Lucy Maud Montgomery really wrote one of the best characters of all time when she came up with Anne Shirley.  She really did.  I can't even count how many times I have read those books but each time I get such a thrill from them.  If Anne Shirley were real, we would be kindred spirits.

Today was a pretty good day as far as teaching goes.  I had 4 students.  Sammy was the first one.  She is a singer and is doing really well.  She is really picking up the Italian songs fast.  Sammy has picked her Christmas song.  Amy is learning to play both hands at the same time.  She was a bit nervous, but she played the songs very well.  Dan is doing pretty well with learning his notes and Aubrey, well Aubrey is really advancing quickly.  She started after Christmas last year and has finished 3 books so far.  She is now in level 3.

I also saw my Muglia girls today.  Hannah and Natalie told me how much they loved the art class that they took from Star.  They are going to have lessons every week.  I can't wait to see what they create.  Star is a really good artist too.  Her mother, Paula, an is amazing artist.

I had dinner with the Hubel family tonight.  Carolyn made spaghetti and meatballs.  It was very good.

I am getting a bit tired now, so I think it is time to read a bit before bed.

The night before a major change 9-30

I decided at the beginning of the month to give up my lovely diet coke and well, soda pop in general.  As of October 1, 2012, I will not use artificial sweeteners or any type of pop.  I am now a water drinker.  Since I actually like water, it isn't a problem, it will be just getting into the habit of getting water instead of pop.  I can do this though.  I know I can.  If I can give up junk food (which I did on Memorial Day and have had very little since) then I can do this.  I have done this before so I know I can do it.  Anyways, it is a new leaf or more of a new leaf for me.

Wednesday, I have an appointment with a nutritionist type person to talk about food and weight loss.  Since I want to be a third of myself by next summer, I need to find a healthy way to lose weight and keep it off.  So far, I have been eating really healthy and I actually like it because I feel so much better.  I still have the same amount of pain, which I expected but overall I feel better.

Tonight was a fun evening.  I met up with Star and Chelaine at Barnes and Nobles bookstore.  We visited for a while (okay - until the store closed and we had to leave).  It was lots of fun.  I haven't seen Chelaine in a while.  Star is teaching 2 of my students art and I am so excited about that.  Hannah and Natalie had their first lesson last Friday and they all had a great time.  I am very happy about that.  I am so glad this is working out well so far.  I am excited to see what stuff they come up with and create.

Tomorrow is the tummy's doctor appointment.  It is just a check up about medicine, that's all.  Basically, it is just to make sure I am not having any side effects from the reglan I am taking to help digest my food.  I have updated my medicine list for the doctor and it is printed and ready to go.  Tillie is going with me.  She has a few questions and I am not sure I will remember them all so she is coming.  So far, the only doctor that she doesn't like is the arthritis doctor, Dr. A.  She just doesn't really like Dr. A. at all.  She hasn't met Dr. G, my primary care giver yet, but I have no reason to go right now.  I did manage to forget about last Friday's protime bloodtest.  Whoops!  I will reschedule for this week.  I also will be getting the flu shot at that time.  I have to get it every year because of my weakened immune system.  So far, in the 6 years that I have been getting the flu shot, I have not gotten the flu so I am hoping for this one to work too.

Tuesday I get my Muglia girls for their piano lessons.  We are starting Christmas music because they have once a month lessons so we need to start very early because of the level of music they are in.  All three of the older girls are advanced students so their stuff is much more complicated.  Sarah will not be starting as early as her older sisters.  Sarah is so cute and is doing so very well.  I miss the girls.  I haven't seen them in a few weeks.  I am going to ask the girls to decorate the tree at my house again this year.  they seemed to have fun last year decorating my tree.  It was fun watching them decorating the tree.  This year I also think we are going to make cookies for Christmas too.

Well, time to read and then to bed.

It's the Weekend!!

Friday:

I actually made it to choir practice last night.  It has been several weeks since I have even stepped foot into church including Sundays.  It is just so hard with the bad headaches.  The normal headache I can handle and do stuff but not with the bad ones.  I hope this new dosage works.  I really do.

I thought I had a Saturday with no lessons but thankfully, I have 2 lessons.  I am very glad about that.  Next Saturday, I will have a new student.  I think my two who have quit for the summer are not coming back this fall.  I am disappointed but that is okay.

Saturday:

Once again I am starting a post one day and finishing it up another day.  What can I say?  I was super tired last night.  I taught until about 8:30 last night.

Today I only had 2 lessons, Dede and Koki.  They have switched from Thursdays to Saturdays.  I don't mind as it works best for them so it works good for me.  They are really good pianists.  They both started in January and are almost done with level 2 books.  Dede and Koki are really nice girls too.  We will be going to a movie in the next few weeks together.  That should be rather fun.

I am not sure, but I think part of the day, I may not have had a headache.  I know I had one when I woke up, but I think for about an hour or two, it went away.  of course, now it is back.  I do really think it might have been gone for a while.  That would be awesome if it continued to go away and never come back.  I am so sick of having headaches and things like that sometimes.  I do try and not complain because I know there are people in much worse situations than me but sometimes, I just want to scream!  this is one of those times.  Argh!  There I screamed now I feel better!

Seriously though, I can't really complain too much as I have much in my life, I have a place to live, friends, a part-time job (students that I adore plus really great student parents), family, I could go on, but you get the picture.  i am going to go and read for a while now after I make a nice tea for myself.  It is a perfect day for tea, it isn't too hot and not too cold, just a bit on the chillier side than warmer now.

A better Wednesday this week than last! 9-26

This Wednesday was definitely better than last week when I was rather ill.  Thank goodness I feel almost back to my normal.  My nose is doing better and the chapping is getting healed so I don't look so scary or at least I think I don't look so scary to me.

I had a few lessons this evening.  I also met my new student, Sarah (age 9).  She is a very sweet young lady that I really like.  She seems very sweet.  Sarah hasn't had a lesson for about a year so we will need to review a few things for her.  I think we can work well together.  Oh, and like me, she loves Christmas music!  I am very excited about that since it is almost time to start working on the music for the concert.

Rahul and Sammy had their lessons.  Rahul is a bundle of extreme energy.  Trying to get him to focus on his music instead of what is on the other piano is very difficult at times.  Sam is starting to remember his notes better.  It is hard with the two boys because they don't practice at all so we do review notes and things a lot.  They are so cute though.

I called my neurologist's office yesterday, I think and they called me back today.  I was expecting it tomorrow, but it came today.  I am to double the amount of the nighttime medicine starting tonight.  I am really hoping this works because I am tired of bad headaches and everyday headaches.  The everyday ones aren't as bad as the others because I am used to the everyday headaches.

I am a bit more tired tonight than usual.  I think it is because I am just getting over a cold.  I am so glad that is almost gone.  I think by the weekend, I will be just fine.

First Week of Fall 9-24

It is definitely fall around here.  The leaves are starting to change colors and fall off the trees to sleep through winter.  It is a beautiful blue sky with puffy white clouds today.  It was a bit chilly last night.  I even had to use 2 blankets and the extra blankets on my feet since they freeze so easily (and I wear socks to bed too).  I have turned on the heat because I don't like to freeze.  I am happy to  be wearing my lovely Tinkerbell hoodie again.  I love this hoodie a lot.  It is white and has a nice picture of Tinkerbell and the word Flirty on it.  So very typical me since I love Tinkerbell a lot.  I am still looking for a beautiful pink hoodie for me, but I haven't seen one yet.  I am hopeful, but we shall see if I see it.

Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner is now also a 50th birthday party with a Halloween theme.  Maia is going to be turning 50 at the end of the month, but her daughter won't be able to be here so we are celebrating a bit early.  I saw a really cute night shirt with a pumpkin on it.  Apparently, I am supposed to wear a costume, yeah, I will go with a Halloween themed sweatshirt or t-shirt not a costume.  I am just not a costume type girl anymore.  My brother, Andrew will be at the dinner to so that will be fun plus I have some paperwork he needs to sign and take care of.  I will bring it to him that day and then mail it for him.  Silly little brothers, they just don't always remember to take care of these type papers.  That must be what older sisters are for, I guess.

My little Rachel had her lesson today.  She is such a beauty.  I simply adore her.  She is in level D now and is doing very well.  She is learning her new notes pretty well and plays her assignments nicely.  I so happy with her progress.

I had to go to the music store today.  Wow, another level of books for my Aubrey.  Aubrey is doing fantastic and has finished 3 books since she began the week between Christmas and New Years 2011.  To be in level 3 at this point in time is rather amazing.  Boy, can I tell how much she loves to play.  I picked up her 3 books this afternoon and then I went to Chipotle for lunch.  I love that place a lot.  I am going to get some brown rice and learn how they make it so I can have some here at home instead of always going there for it.  I have picked up some cooked grilled chicken to add to my salads when I make them here at home.  I have some really nice rolls too for dinner now.  I like putting peanut butter on them.  I love peanut butter.  I don't particularly  like peanuts but I do like peanut butter.  Strange, I know, but that is just me, strange.

I almost have a full schedule (full for me anyways) of teaching.  Since I am unable to work full time, I have to be very careful of how many lessons I can teach a day.  I get tired so easy and then I feel more pain when that happens so I am careful how much I teach in a day.  Some days I teach a bit more than others, but it works out to about 13 hours or so a week.  That is really all I can do.  I just can't do anymore.  The last time I worked full time (2008), I ended up in the hospital 15 times so I really don't want to repeat that ever again.  I like not being in the hospital.  I really do.  It is a good thing.

Tomorrow, I have to call the neurologist and let her know that the new medicine isn't working.  She upped the dosage and it is still not working.  I am a bit disappointed but not too much because I figured it would take some time to actually get a dosage that will break the headache I have had since March of 2003.  I can no longer remember what it is like not to have a headache.  I just don't.  It has been too long since that has happened.

Well, I hope that my next student shows and is happy with what we started with last week.  He wants to learn to sing properly so to me that means classical music.  I am not sure what he thinks about that, but I will find out.  It does say on my profile with the online company that I teach classical and Broadway singing so we shall see if he is happy with the path I am planning to take him on.  Isaac is having his lesson a bit later tonight because his Mom got out of work late.  It wasn't a problem to switch, not one bit.  I would rather do that then have him miss a week when I have the availability to reschedule.

On to checking what music I need for tomorrow's lessons while I wait for the next one.

birthday party day 9-22

I went to Elizabeth's 4th birthday party.  It was just a family party, not a big one.  We had dinner and cake.  It was nice and calm.  I was rather tired today so I am glad it was a calm party.  I think I overdid it yesterday shopping at Walmart.  Since they didn't have any scooter carts I used Maia's walker.  It has a seat so I could sit and rest but even with that, I was so tired when we were done.  Next time, I will have to pass on the shopping if there isn't a scooter cart available.  I got Elizabeth a Tiana costume dress.  She looked really cute in it.

I had 3 lessons today before the party.  Faith had her lesson first.  She was supposed to have a make up lesson yesterday but with the homecoming parade, there was no way to get to our street.  Nina had her 2nd lesson.  She is doing very well with her lessons.  In the next few weeks she will be starting to read music.  Nina is a very nice little girl.  I think she will fit right in with all the students just fine.  Camille had her last lesson for a while.  I will miss that young lady so much.  Camille is a really good piano player.  I do hope she comes back.  Camille is hoping to come back too.

I have 2 lessons tomorrow.  I also am planning to sleep in because I am exhausted tonight.  I am going to read for a bit.  Tomorrow I will be watching a new movie that I just got.  It is the latest one on DVD that one of my favorite actors is in.  I am looking forward to watching it.

Thursday 9-20

Wow, what a difference a day can make.  I am definitely feeling better today after totally sleeping most of the day away yesterday.  I think I slept a total of about 20 hours between getting up at 2:30 yesterday and getting up today.  I just couldn't stay awake.  I am much better now, thankfully.

Maia and Tillie are coming over tomorrow.  Elizabeth's birthday present is in.  I will be picking up her present tomorrow.  I think I know exactly what I am going to get her.  It is hard to believe that that adorable girl is 4 today.  She started junior kindergarten last week.  I saw a picture of her on the first day of school and boy was it super cute one.

Breanna had her lesson earlier this afternoon.  She is currently an every other week student so it has been 2 weeks since her last lesson.  Breanna also plays guitar and for the Christmas Concert I want her to pick a song that she will have to play the guitar and sing to.  I really like it when she does this and so does everyone else.  I will not make the same mistake I did last year, each student can only do one solo.  Last year, I didn't realize how many new students I had and so I had each of them doing two songs each.  Well, that was a rather long concert.  I did have an intermission, but it was still way too long so we are back to only 1 solo per student.

I had a lovely Fibro Fog moment this week.  It is actually kind of funny.  On Sunday, I looked up one song in my music catalogue because I wanted Becca to sing it.  I found the book number and went to the filing cabinet to find it.  Somehow, it is missing and I can't remember the last time I actually used this book.  I was upset to find that this really cool book is missing so on Monday I call Pepper Music, which is where I get a lot of my music from.  I am on the phone asking the representative to find the book in which this song "Love Will Find Out the Way" is in.  At this point I don't even think I have the title of the book.  He can't find the song except in Broadway Books which it is not because it is a very old English Piece.  I was not a happy camper because the book has disappeared.  My little Rachel then arrives and I have to get off the phone.  The next day I sit down to call them again when it hits me, I have the name of the book!  Every song in each book is catalogued.  Well, I had to look up the name to find the number of the book.  All I had to do was put the book number in find and the name of the book pops up!!!!!  Talk about fog!!!!  I had the name of the book the whole time I was talking to the man from Pepper Music.  Can you imagine?  All I had to do was look up the song for the book number and then place the book number in the find and it would have popped out!  Well, what can I say?  Fibro Fog is such a beautiful thing and well, it gave me a good giggle when I realized what I had done.  Silly me!!!!

We celebrated little Lulu's 5th birthday today.  Her mom brought cake so we all had some.  It was a very good cake.  Lulu is in kindergarten right now and is very excited about it.  Her older sisters, Koki and Dede had their lessons tonight.  Both girls are doing very well.  They are really sweet too.  I really like them and their mom and aunt too.  Their aunt is visiting them and the girls seem to be enjoying themselves with her.

I have been on a reading frenzy with the Danielle Steel's books.  The one I just finished was an okay book.  It was called "Big Girl" and you can tell it was written by a skinny woman because not every overweight person does what the main character does with her weight.  Most of her books are really good but there are a few that are just okay.  There is only 1 that I didn't like at all but I can't remember the name of the book.  Well, time to read for a bit.