Monday - a very cold day

It is super duper cold out right now.  Thank God we didn't get the snow though.  It has flurried a bit, but not a dumping ground like it did at my cousin's house.  I am grateful for that.  I have to find my winter pajamas.  I know they are not far, but my fall/spring ones aren't warm enough.  I have my sweatshirts and hoodies out ready to wear.  I need some turtle necks though.  I am going to look at Walmart.com to see if they have any.  They did a bit ago when I was looking for the little lady.  I hope they are still around.

I downloaded the pictures that were on my camera.  I figured it out.  I put them on the PC first but I think it will work with the mac too.  I will post the pictures of them in a moment.  The tree looks very cute, Julie and Lily did a nice job.  I have to buy a tree skirt because I don't have one.  I will do that this week.

It has been an okay day.  I met up with Rosemary at Tim Horton's this morning.  That was nice.  We had a nice visit.  I haven't actually seen her since Mom's funeral.  She asked how I was doing.  I told the truth, somedays good, somedays not so good.  She is in the middle of decorating her house for Christmas.  She wanted to get her big tree up today.  I told her I was done, because I am.

I had 4 lessons today.  Bob is almost ready for the concert this weekend.  I have presents to wrap for the concert.  I will do them probably on Friday.  Acer is ready for his piano song, I think he is planning to play his drums with the little drummer boy which he might also sing with.  I don't know.  I just know he is planning to do something with that song.  Calli is ready for her 2 songs.  She is singing one song and playing the piano for the other.  She was the first one ready for the concert.  It should be a lot of fun.

I have had a bad headache all day, although with teaching, it doesn't hurt as bad when I am teaching.  I have a potential new student with the new company.  I am not sure though.  The current situation is that the teacher comes to them and they would have to come here so I am not sure that will work.  I do hope so.  It is a more advanced student although they have only been playing for a year, so I am not sure how advanced they are, it is hard to say since everyone plays at a different level and goes with different speeds.

I am meeting my friend, Jennie tomorrow for lunch.  I can't wait.  I have to google map it only to see how long it will take to get there.  I haven't been that far west in a while so I am unsure what time I need to leave.  I am excited about seeing her.  I will be seeing Wendy on Wednesday.  I also am going to see a grief person from Hospice.  I unfortunately made the appointment the same time as Wendy, so I need to change the Hospice appointment.  I will see what she has left.  I think the one on one will be helpful for me because I am tired of being told I am not doing well by some.  I think I am doing well.

Here is what the tree looks like plus some close ups on the ornaments on the tree.

This is what the decorated piano looks like:

Only 1 piano is decorated because I use the piano to the right of it for my lessons.  It isn't decorated because I would be disturbing the decorations all the time so we just left, plus I have the CD player on top because I use it for voice lessons.

I hope tomorrow the headache is back to normal because I am not feeling very well right now.  I hope tomorrow is a better day.  I hope your day is good.

Family Day at Uncle John's

I found out when I got home that my Uncle Ken wanted to go to Uncle John's, only he thought it was still next week.  Had I known, I would have messaged my cousin and let her know it was moved to today.  Yeah, so next time we go I will be letting my Uncle Ken know so he can go visit too.  He needs a ride which is no problem as I apparently go right past his place.  Sure, I don't mind.

It was a good day.  Andrew wasn't there.  He and Angie were on their way but the roads were bad by that time and they couldn't see so they had to turn back to go home.  I will see him next time.  Hayley and Cathy were both there so I was happy about that.  I was part way there when Maia called and so I turned back to go and pick her up.  I wasn't that far from home.  I also should have at that point, gone home to get my medicine but I didn't so I didn't have my morning medicine today.  Yeah, not a good thing.  A bit too much pain today everywhere.  I ended up leaving a bit early because of the pain and I was tired.  I didn't want to drive any later as it is a 1 1/2 hour drive home.  I have a good time when I go.  I brought a cake this time.  Lily made it.  People seemed to like it.  I did.  I had a small piece because there were so many desserts to choose from.  Hayley brought candy cane cheesecake and Cathy brought cookie bars.  All was really good that is all I can say, really good.  Michelle is a good cook.  Tillie said that in January she is having a family get together at her house.  That will be fun too.

I have a busy week ahead of me.  I am meeting my friend, Jennie for lunch on Tuesday, and my friend, Wendy for tea on Wednesday.  Then I have to pop over to Windsor for a brief period on Thursday.  So I am quite glad I have plenty to do this week.  I also have to finish copying all the papers needed for the lawyer for the bankruptcy and take a trip to the Secretary of State's office, a place I dread.  I need to ship William and Abigail's Christmas gifts to them this week too.  I have to go to the UPS store for that one.  I will take care of that early this week.  I just have to remember to do it.  I think tomorrow I will have Heather B-T bring them up so that I can see them to take in.  I hope the kids like the instruments.  I will then message Richard to let him know they are on their way.

I finished all the thank you notes while cousin Cathy was here.  It was much easier to do them while she was here so I didn't cry all day.  I cried the first few I wrote and then thought I would only do a few at a time, but I ended up writing them all.  I signed for the boys as they couldn't really sign themselves as they live far away from me and sending the cards to them to sign was a bit silly so I signed them all myself.

It seems so strange to me still that Christmas is almost here.  I am not really ready for it.  Usually I am so ready for it right after Halloween, but not this year.  This year I could sleep through it and that would be fine to me.  I am still not sure what is happening those days so we shall wait and see.

I want to scan more pictures of the family in.  I now have a memory card for the newer camera.  The one from the old camera fits so I switched it today.  I know where that cord is.  It is in the top drawer in the dining room, the other one, I am not so sure where it is, plus it is an older camera with less mega pixels on it.  The newer one takes nice pictures.  I took a good one of Katie.  During vacation Katie is going to come over and put all the music away.  She is also going to reorganize all of the CDs.  That would be so awesome if she could.  I would really appreciate that.  Then maybe she and I can put the office back together so the big computer can be put on the table.  That would be good.

I am not as tired as I was earlier, but I am still pretty tired.  I foresee going to bed rather soon.  I hope your day was good too.

Decorating for the Holiday

I went to see Rachel and Rebecca's play this morning.  It was good.  Rebecca had one of the leads and Rachel had another.  Both are quite good.  I got back just after 12 noon.  I called Lily to let her know I was home and whenever they could come for decorating would be fine for me.  I wasn't picky at all.  Lily's family was having a new couch delivered today so I had time to have a nap, which I desperately needed as I was very weepy this afternoon before the nap.  I started getting weepy right when I left the play.  Mom would have loved it and that made me sad because she isn't here to see it.  Sometimes these thoughts don't make me weepy, but today since I was tired it did.  After my nap, I felt much better.  Julie and I were discussing how Mom gave up at the end and I think that is what upsets me the most.  Because once she asked me what was going on with her memory, she seemed to fly through the last few stages on Alzheimer's.  Well, she doesn't have it now.

Lily and Julie arrived and Lily went right down the stairs to get the tree.  We brought up the ornaments, and the nativity snow globe (the coolest one ever).  We took down everything on the piano so we could decorate it too.  The one I use isn't decorated because I need to use it when I teach.  I do hope the New Year brings new students or another part time job.  Well, we shall see what God will do.  It is all up to him.

Julie went right to work so did Lily.  I did a bit, but they did most of the work.  It took about 2 hours to get it all finished.  I mentioned I needed to make a cake for tomorrow and Lily was like, cool, let's go.  Well, she did pretty much everything for it.  She put it together.  We used Betty Crocker mix.  She added the extra ingredients and used my new mixer.  It works great.  She did a great job.  She tasted it and said it tasted great.  Then we put it in the oven for whatever amount it needed.  Julie frosted it for us as I think we started frosting it a bit too early and it was too warm.  Julie frosted it and then Lily decorated it.  She even signed her name on it.  It was just too cute.  She did a great job.

We talked for a while after we were finished.  Lily took the last piece of garland and draped it over the hallway entrance at the bottom of the stairs.  She was so cute trying to get the tack into the plaster.  She finally found a hammer and got it in.  She did a great job on the garland.  It is perfect.

All in all it was a good day despite my teariness.  I also managed to get a load of laundry done too!  Wasn't that great?  I just have a couple more loads and I am all caught up.  I do have a big pile that needs to be put away.  I will work on that next week.  that is my small goal of the year, put the pile of laundry away.  I want the utility room all ready and put back together with the clothes put all by Christmas.  For New Years I want to have the living room back to the way it belongs with the rest of Mom's things that doesn't need to be there gone.  I will also have the china cabinet the way I want.  Julie found the dinner plates to the good dishes in the cabinet under the china cabinet.  I knew they were there somewhere, but not I know where they are and that makes me smile.

I hope your day is going well too.  I am ready for Christmas, well as ready as I can be without Mom.  I think she is happy that I have decorated some.  I didn't go over the top like I would have had she been here, but I did some.  Maybe next year.  Who knows what the new year will bring.  We can only wait and see.

new quilt

I got a prayer quilt from the ladies at church today.  Pastor Weatherly brought it to me and we visited for a bit.  It was nice to see her again.  She is a very nice woman.  Listens, down to earth, very, very nice over all.  She is the associate minister at church.  She did Mom's funeral and did an amazing job.  The sermon was really nicely done, Mom would have been pleased.

The quilt is green and will go nicely either in the living room or my bedroom.  It is beautifully made.  I think Julie would love it.  I think it is wonderful and I am so thankful that they made it.  It is a prayer quilt.  I have lots of prayers these days, part time job, more students, etc.  So far though, I am doing alright.  I am making ends meet and have enough to make ends meet for a few months and then I will be in a bind.  I am praying by then that I will either have a part time job or more students to fill in the gap.  I gave that worry all up to God a few weeks ago because I was getting major headaches with it.

It is a quiet day here with not much going on now that the minister has left.  I am just relaxing and surfing the web for jobs.  I have to reactivate my Monster.com account and update the resume.  I also am looking at the local news websites for jobs too, because they have a job listing page on their websites.  I am confident I will find something before the money runs out.  So far, so good, is all I can say.

I am not upset anymore about Christmas.  If I see Richard, I do, if I don't, well, then I don't.  I don't know where he is planning to go for Christmas but I will be fine with whatever he decides.  Christmas is going to be hard anyways with the little lady not here with me.  Life was definitely a lot easier with her here with me than with her gone.  Maybe not physically easier, as she needed help with a lot of things, but definitely mentally.  I knew the bills would be paid and that we would be alright together.  I often wonder how women do this when they lose their husbands.  Losing someone you love is hard I think on everyone.

Kathy will be here in a couple of weeks.  We are going to go see harry potter and we are going to fix up the china cabinet.  I am planning to make a nice dinner for us on Saturday so that we can use the good dishes.  I just have to find the dinner plates.  They are in the bottom of the cabinet somewhere, just not sure where yet.  I know they are though because they haven't been moved in years.

I hope your day is good too!  So far, a nice day.  I think I will get some chicken for dinner.  Sounds yummy.  I have some in the fridge along with some nice rice and broccoli.  I also bought some of the fudge covered oreos.  I need those like I need a hole in my head.  They only come out at Christmas time.


Here is a couple of pictures of Me and Mom!  I hope you like them.

The first one I was about 5 or 6 in and I don't know where we were.  The Christmas one I was 19 in.  don't Mom and I have the same smile??

Thursday

I don't have anything planned today.  No lessons, no webinar, no nothing, so I am just going to scan some pictures into the computer and then transfer them to this computer so I can post them on face book.  I think I have finally finished posted most of the little mom's photos.  There are a few I didn't, because I missed them, but at this point, I see no need to go back and post them as there are over 100 pictures of the little lady.  I think people got the point of what she looked like, what she did, and some of us kids.

I had to call 2 doctors office's billing departments to let them know Mom passed away.  One asked if I could send a copy of the certificate to add to their file and close it out.  I said I would send a copy, not an original, they said fine.  So I will do that after I copy the certificate.

I am not sure how to spend my extra time.  It is something I never really had before.  I was always going from one job to the next and then to sleep.  I would sleep in between jobs too because it helped with the pain of going from one job to the next.  I am thinking of volunteering for a job, but I don't know which one I would want to volunteer for.  I am thinking the Red Cross.  I enjoyed working in their marketing department when I was in grad school.  It was a lot of fun.

I finished the webinar last night for the new teaching company.  They had a couple of suggestions for marketing, I am not sure I am going to do it though because I did try Craigslist and got a lot of scammers so I am nervous to try that one again.  We shall see.  I am hoping for a new student by the beginning of January as that will be into what has been saved.  I have enough for a few months and then I am in dire straights and that scares me to pieces.  Completely scares me.  I have always been able to find another job right away and in this economy that just isn't possible.  I have applied in other places too so I am not giving up, it is just with it being so close to the holidays, I am hopeful that after I will be finding either enough new students or something part time.  Whichever works, works for me.

I did get an email from Richard yesterday evening.  He hadn't answered me about the holidays because he doesn't really know what they are doing.  He is thinking of going out of town for them.  I don't know where.  I don't know if that means here, or somewhere where they can go snowboarding.  So it looks like I will be here after all for the holiday, which is something I really didn't want.  I wanted to be with him and the kids.  Oh well, maybe I wouldn't be such fun anyways seeing how sad I am right now.  I don't know, it is just all up in the air right now.

I am going to go downstairs and look for more family pictures after this, because I know there are more.  I bet they are in all the bags that haven't been opened for a long time.  Mom did like to put things in bags and then in boxes.  That was one of her quirky things.  I do it for some things, but not many.  I think Richard and I inherited her packratiness.  If Jennifer wasn't making sure the house doesn't get cluttered, his would be too, not just mine.  I am starting to work on some more rooms starting after the new year.  I just can't do it right now.

I hope your day is going well, mine is okay, not great or anything, but okay, kind of boring.  I know people always say, oh, if only I had nothing to do.  Well, it is overrated.  It is good to be busy.  Very good to be busy.  I am not busy enough these days.

1st of December

Hard to believe that December is here.  I think I have read that a lot today and it is true!  These last 6 1/2 weeks have been in a daze with some moments of clarity.  I miss mom a lot, but sometimes she seems like a dream I had.  I do know I had her because I wouldn't be here without her, but sometimes is seems so far away since I last saw her.  I want her back, I didn't want her to go, but I believe it was her time.  I am glad she didn't suffer, although I don't understand how because she had no food or drink for 9 days but I have been assured she didn't suffer at all with that.  She was in some pain occasionally which they took care of, not always as quickly as I would have liked, but it was taken care of.  I can still see her lying in that bed in the hospital.  I think a part of me always will as that was the last time I saw her.  She looked so small and tiny in that bed, but she was peacefully sleeping most of the time.

This month will have a bittersweet taste to me, I think, because Mom loved December and all the joy of Christmas.  At first, I didn't want to decorate at all and then i thought, that isn't very good because Mom would want me to celebrate Jesus' birthday.  So I am decorating, perhaps not as wildly as I would have with the little lady here, but Lily, Julie, and I are going to do some.  It will be good because the house will look festive for the season.

I haven't heard from Richard about the holidays so I don't really know what is going on with that.  I have made alternative plans if necessary.  I have places to go if I don't go out west, although I really want to go.  I miss my brother a lot.  I miss Andrew too, but I see him about once a month whereas Richard I don't.  First time I saw him in 2 1/2 years was at Momma's funeral and it wasn't like we could be happy about that.  We chatted, true, I got to hug him, true, but it isn't the same and I haven't seen his family in 2 1/2 years.  That hurts me because I am rather attached to his children.  I simply adore them.

I went to the lawyer's today and got some answers to some questions.  I also have some more paperwork to turn in.  Ugh, I thought I had it all but I don't.  Oops.  I also have to remember to go to Secretary of State to take care of the title to my car before I fax it too them.  I now own it as I paid it off last summer and the title needs to reflect that.  I will be able to keep the house and not turn it in to the bankruptcy so that is a relief.  That bill will not be discharged, but that is okay by me, I keep the house, the important thing.

Things are beginning to smooth out for me.  I have the webinar tonight with the new teaching company. I do hope I get a lot of students.  I understand they are cautious at first, but I need the students, not just for the money either, for the time it will spend and it is what I love to do.  I love teaching.  I think I am going to look into writing too.  I am not sure.  I have some things starting to go around in my head that might be good.  I don't know.  Right now, my head swims most of the time with worries and panics, at least I have not had a panic attack since Mom died.  I actually have not had one for about a year now so I am doing well with that.

It is snowing today and looking pretty (because it isn't sticking to the ground, it is just flurries).  It is also cold here.  I am actually cold right now.  I need to go get my hoodie and put it on so I won't be chilled.  I have a sweatshirt on but I am still cold.  Pain level is normal, my head is a bit more painful than normal but I think a pain pill will take care of that.

I hope you are having a good day.

Tuesday 11-30

It is the last day of November, a month I used to dislike because it wasn't sunny out too much.  Now it is just a lonely month.  I can't believe it is almost December.  I am hoping to be with Richard in a few weeks. I really am, otherwise I don't know what I will do on Christmas.  I need to be with the big brother.  It's just the way it is.  I need to be with him.  He is missed and so is his family.  I don't know if he knows what he is doing for that Holiday though.  He didn't answer my email, so I don't know.  I plan to call him after the interview today at 1:30 pm to let him know how it went.  15 more minutes and my interview will start.  I hope they call on time.  I hate being late.  I have the phone all charged and everything waiting for them.

I was supposed to have 2 lessons today, but Dawson is ill, so he will have a make-up later this week.  Poor guy, it's tough to be ill, although the missing school part is probably not the worst for him.  I used to love missing school.  I hated school with a passion.  It was just plain awful.  I remember one time, I forgot my house key and I went home early because I was ill.  I had to go up to the high school to get Richard to get his key.  It happened to be one of the days he was there.  He told the principal he should go home and take care of his little sister.  Yeah, he made me soup, tucked me into bed and then went out with his friends.  Well, I was taken care of.  I fell asleep and he was gone.  I probably would have done the exact same thing if I was him.

I am copying all the bills for the lawyer tomorrow.  I will be heading up to Speedy printing to take care of it after the interview (which is supposed to last about 1/2 hour).  I am almost done copying everything.  I came home to get ready for the interview.  I am excited about this.  First interview I have done in about 9 years so I am a bit nervous too.  I will let you know how I do after the interview which should be any minute now.  It is almost 1:30 pm.  I am also nervous they will forget to call.  I would hope not, but one never knows in this society.

I got the job!!!!  Yes, I now also teach for Takelessons.com.  It doesn't pay as much as my students pay me but that is okay.  They do all the work getting the student and I teach.  It is fair.  At the studio we paid rent so I am used to it.  It is a bit less that I am used to, but that is alright.  I don't mind or I wouldn't have taken the job.  I need a total of 10 new students to make the house bills and my bills work.  I am not sure when I will have that many new students, but I am praying a lot about it.  I am short with just the disability and really need the money to pay all my bills.  I don't have that many, but disability isn't quite enough to live on right now.  In February, Medicare kicks in so that helps a lot.  It is just getting there between now and February.  I can get help to pay the electricity and heat if necessary, but who knows if I will need it.  Right now I am just praying for help and so far, I must say, He has been helping.  Richard is very proud of me.  He said so.  He was so excited that I got the position.  I was very pleased.  I do hope that I don't need another job on top of this one.  I really do because I would like to put my time into teaching since that is what I love to do.

Anyways, it has been an exciting day over.  I finished the paperwork, I have copied the bills, and I got a new position, just need the students to go with it.  I didn't get a chance to ask Richard about Christmas, it is looking like I will be in town for it.  I am disappointed with that.  I hope I get to go.

I hope your day is going well too.  Pain level isn't too bad either, so that is good, especially since it is raining.

Monday 11-29

Seems weird that November is almost over.  I can't believe it.  Sometimes, time flies, other times is crawls.  I can't believe it has been 7 weeks since I last spoke to Mom and 6 weeks since she died.  I am doing alright with it.  Sometimes I cry, mostly I don't.  I am just very sad most of the time.  I don't really enjoy a whole lot of stuff right now, but I am not expecting myself too though either.  I know that I will miss Mom a lot for a while, and then I will just miss her less as time goes on.  I never gave it any thought about life without Mom, I lived in a bubble.  I just expected my Mom to be there always.

It isn't so bad today.  I had a sad moment when I realized that it has been 6 weeks since I last saw her alive, but it didn't last too long.  I wonder how many more Mondays will the thoughts of Mom cross my mind?  I don't mean for it too, but it does.  I just miss the little lady a lot, even the one she turned into with Alzheimer's.  I wish Lily could have known her when she was very healthy and herself.  I am glad that Lily, Emily, and Elyse all got to know her, even if she did have Alzheimer's, but I wish they could have seen the vibrant woman she was.  She was something, let me tell you.  She was a pistol.  She laughed a lot with me.  She was very funny.  In July, when we went to see Kathy, a bit of her came out because all of a sudden Kathy looked at Mom and asked, "Are you teasing me?"  Mom smiled and nodded.  That was Mom.  She never teased meanly though, never.  She would do gently teasing because she knew that teasing could get out of hand.  She was just so much fun at times.  Yes, there were times when she wasn't, but overall, she was a lot of fun.  I have more pictures of her to scan and post.  I can't wait to do them.  I know we have more, I just have to find them.

Lily is possibly coming next weekend to decorate the house.  I am not sure exactly what we are going to do, but I know we aren't doing the outside, because I don't have the lights and I don't have the money for the electricity either so no outside lighting this year.  Perhaps another year I will, but this year is a minimum year due to the mourning I am in.  I don't wish to make mourning an excuse for anything, but I am not sure I am ready for over the top decorating I like to do.  We shall see.

I had 4 lessons today.  It was great.  I have the appointment for the lawyer on Wednesday at 11 am.  Julie, like I have said, will be coming with me.  I am excited to be so close to finishing up this.  I really am.  It has been a long 2 1/2 years that I have been working on this.  I need this to be so over so that I can move on from it.

Tomorrow is the phone interview with the other studio.  I do hope to impress them and do well.  I really need new students in order to pay my bills.  Yes, I know I have to trust that God will provide and show me the way, but so far, I think this is it.  The first parts went so smoothly so I am hopeful.  If it doesn't work out, we shall see what else is out there.

I hope your day is going well.  I am sad today.  I was fine while people are here, but I am sad when they all go home.  I am still getting used to being on my own.  It will get easier I am sure, it is just hard right now, it has only been 6 weeks.  I wonder how the boys are doing with this?

Sunday 11-28

I had lunch with Kathy today.  It was fun.  We went to one of our usuals, Red Lobster for their soup and salad combo.  It is so yummy.  Fresh shrimp on the salad, romaine lettuce (I can't eat the iceberg so I always ask for no iceberg lettuce on all my salads), cucumbers, what can I say?  The soup in a bread bowl! Yeah, just simply scrumptious!  Kathy and I always end up getting the same thing, rather weird how we have always done that, but we do.  Almost everywhere we go we get the same thing most times.  We have very similar tastes!  We do like a lot of the same things.  After lunch we went to Walmart's. I now have most of my shopping done!  Yup, I am rather glad about that.  I just have 3 more things to buy and I am done.  Richard, Jennifer and 1 more and that is it.  I also picked up a gravy boat.  Ours died many years ago unfortunately, now I have one.  I am actually very thrilled about it.  It was $5 and it is white so it goes with any set of dishes.  I don't like using measuring cups for gravy.  It is just tacky, but when you don't have a gravy boat, what can you do?  Not much, that is for sure but now I have one and that is great!

I am working on copying the rest of the paperwork for  the lawyer for the bankruptcy.  I can't wait to get this over with.  This will be the last of the remnants of the store stuff.  A new beginning with better results, I hope.  I have someone coming with me so that I have another set of ears listening to what I am being told and the answers to my questions.  I have ever so many in my head that I hope I remember them all.  I have a friend who has a few too.  I am thankful for that.

I was really missing Mom last night after everyone left.  I had a few tears because I was alone again.  Not so many tears today, almost in the car with Kathy, but I held them back after a few seconds.  I am trying to find my purpose in life now that Mom is gone.  I loved taking care of her, I really did.  I lived for that at times.  I felt important and now I don't feel so important.  Actually, I don't feel important at all right now.  I haven't since I finished taking care of stuff for Mom.  The hours that I teach I feel purposeful, but not the rest of the day, then I feel unimportant and no purpose.  I don't like this feeling.  I have to find a new purpose for the rest of my day, but I haven't yet.  It is very slow progress.  Sometimes I feel like I make some, then I feel I haven't made any.  I do hope that soon I will feel like I have made much progress and find a new purpose in life because right now, I don't feel like I have one right now.

Pain level is a bit high this afternoon for my headache this afternoon.  My neck is a bit stiff too for some odd reason.  I don't usually have a neck ache but I do today.  I think I am just stressed.  I hope your day is better.

Saturday 11-27

Cathy left this afternoon about 2ish.  Hayley arrived at about 1 and left about 4ish.  It was so fun to have Cathy here for the week.  I enjoyed the afternoon with Hayley.  It was very nice.  I am looking forward to see Kathy H tomorrow.  I pick her up and then off to brunch we go!  What fun that will be.  She will be going home tomorrow afternoon so I will only get her for a few hours, but that is okay.  I will take what I can get.

My cousins are going to my Uncle's next week too.  I am very excited about it.  I haven't had a family together with this much family except for the funeral and the burial services and that was the first time in months.  The first time in years was Mom's birthday party.

Cathy and I talked so much while we were together.  It was great to have someone to talk to that is easy going mostly.  She talked about taking my time going through Mom's stuff and not rushing into anything.  I agree.  That is what I am going to do.  I plan to start going through Mom's room in January.  I am going to take care of clothes first and then finish with what is in her drawers.  Some of the stuff that is in there is actually mine.  I need to put her bed back together with the mattress off the floor.  We moved the mattress off of the bed frame for safety for the little lady.  She needed to be lower to the bed since she had a hard time getting in her bed after a while.  Couldn't have her lying on the floor which is where I found her 2 times before we moved the mattress.  Bob was generous enough to help me.  I will clean out the end of her bed first.  There are boxes of clothes on her bed right now that I need to check and make sure nothing of mine is in there.  I don't think there is, but you never know.

I miss her so much sometimes that it still hurts.  It isn't such the gut wrenching pain that I had when she first passed away, but it is still enough to bring up tears at times.  I wrote out all the thank you notes yesterday.  I cried for the first few I did because I was sad I had to do them, I was sad at the reason I had to do them.  I mean, I want my mom. plain and simple.  At least I am comforted that I will see her again someday and then we will be together and never parted again.  She is waiting for me.  The lady at Tim Horton's told me she was so sorry about my mom.  She hasn't seen me since my mom passed so she couldn't tell me.  I think she is the owner's aunt.  She is a very nice lady.  I had tears in my eyes because I still choke up when someone tells me how sorry they are.  I don't mind though because I would rather Mom not be forgotten.  She never will by me.

All in all, it was an enjoyable week and I am so glad my cousin, Cathy was able to come and that my cousin, Hayley was able to come today.  I hope your day is good too.

the day after Thanksgiving

I survived Thanksgiving without the little Momma.  Yup, Cathy and I had a enjoyable time.  It was very nice.  I am very glad she is here.  She went shopping last night and this morning while I slept.  I don't like shopping and I can't stand in lines, so no real shopping for me.  Unless I have my scooter or they have one, forget about it, can't really do it.

I made Cornish hens for dinner last night.  We demolished those right up.  We each had one.  Boy were they good.  They were still a bit frozen so I had to cook them a bit longer and then I had to microwave them at the very end.  Next time, I will do the water way of thawing those type birds.  Lately, the last few times I made them we had this issue.  I don't get it.  You have to thaw them in the fridge, which I did, I pulled them out on Monday and they were still frozen by Thursday.  Whatever, they are gone now.  I also made a cake for dessert.  We have plenty left over for today and tomorrow.  We also had the usual, stuffing, veggies, and mashed potatoes.  I did buy scalloped potatoes, but changed my mind on that.

I can't wait to find out what all Cathy got shopping.  I am sure she will let me know when she wakes up.  I am not waking her as she was awake all day yesterday and all night last night.  I got up at 5:30 to visit mother nature and she wasn't back yet, so you know she must be exhausted.  She has a long drive home tomorrow too, so she needs her sleep.

I am missing Mom a lot today, I did yesterday too.  It seems rather unfair that I should be here having a nice Thanksgiving and she isn't here to enjoy it with us.  So unfair.  I hope this Holiday season isn't too bad for me.  I feel kind of weepy this afternoon.  I just miss her so much.  My companion is gone as well as my mother.  I don't know how my friends who have lost their moms do it, but I will learn I suppose.

We did see Harry Potter yesterday.  It was good.  I wasn't as thrilled about it as I was before Mom died, but that is to be expected, I think.  It was an enjoyable movie.  We both liked it.  What we both didn't like is we have to wait until summer to see the rest.  Unfair!  Although, I agree, it had to be split or you would miss so much.  I really do think they should have split books 4, 5, and 6 also as they were big too and you missed a lot in the movies.

Pain hasn't been too bad with the weather getting colder.  I am hopeful it will stay this way.  Today, though, I have a bad headache.  I took a pain pill so I hope it works soon because it is really bad.

I hope your day is good.