My friend, Kathleen (she lives in Florida - I went to school with her) had a baby girl on Saturday (I think it was Saturday) has had 4 surgeries to stop the bleeding and is now on life support. I certainly hope the doctors can save her. She is such a great person and has 4 children and a husband. It reminds me of when Kathy gave birth to Matthew, her oldest, her blood wouldn't clot and she had several surgeries. She had an unusual illness that either stays with you for the rest of your life or it goes away within a year. It only happens when you give birth. Fortunately, hers went away and she went on to have 3 more kids. They are all adorable. I am really worried about Kathleen, she was so looking forward to life with this new little one. She has 2 older children and 1 two year old plus this new one. Please pray for her and her family. We can't lose her.

Mom is doing alright today, thank goodness. She went down the stairs fine today both the inside and the outside stairs. So I don't know what last night was all about. I am rather tired today. I didn't sleep to well last night, I don't think. I could take a nap right now. My head is rather sore today. Stupid head, that's all I have to say about it.

Not much happening or going on to write about, too worried about Kathleen, I think. I will keep checking on face book to check her status. Her friend, Charrin, is writing statuses to keep up all updated.

We were at my Uncle John's today. He called me up on Friday, asked me if I was busy this Sunday and invited us over. I am so glad we went. We left at 11:30, picked up Tillie along the way and had a great day. Mom did really well most of the day. She has started something new though that is worrisome. When we left Uncle John's, she become frightened to go down a couple steps. I had my uncle hold on to Mom while she came down the stairs. He then led her into the car. She had a difficult time getting into the car again. I think this is something that will happen a lot from now on. I can get her into the car, it just takes a few minutes and then she is fine. When we dropped Tillie off we went into the house because I had some papers I had to fill out. Mom again became scared to go down a couple of steps. We got her down. Overall, it was a successful day. We are going back in two weeks on the holiday weekend, on the Sunday. I am looking forward to this. Little Jayson was playing with Mom in the living room while we were talking in the dining room. It was fun to listen to. We had an awesome dinner. Michelle (Uncle John's wife) is a wonderful cook. She made a roast beef and a roast pork. Boy, were they good. Mom ate really well, it was impressive how much she ate. I couldn't believe it, she ate a really good meal (for her anyways, still small to regular standards). It was just a good day.

Well, I am off to bed now as it is getting late here. Mom has asked 3 times when am I going to bed. I just have to give her the nighttime medicine and then we are all set. I hope your day was as good as mine. Have a good day tomorrow too! Ours is nice and busy with 4 lessons!

We have company today! Well, since last night. My cousin, Tillie, has been visiting with us. She goes home around noon, which works out perfect since I begin teaching at 12 and have another lesson at 1 and then two lovely young girls will be trying on their bridesmaids dresses to be shortened. I am not sure about doing Lily's as it is still a month away from the wedding. She is 12 and could grow between now and then, and that could be bad. I think I will pin hers but refit her at the beginning of the month, next month. Emily, at 16 almost 17, is finished growing so I can do hers right away. I just love these two girls. They (and their older sister) adopted Mom as their grandmother about 8 years ago. They don't have one and they like Mom a lot, so they adopted her.

Tomorrow is an exciting day too! We are going to my Uncle John's house. He is my mom's youngest brother. He is 14 years younger than her. She helped take care of him when he was a baby and a young boy. According to him, he broke mom in for us. I don't think he broke her in enough. He says she raised him mostly. I enjoy his company most of the time. We used to see him quite frequently, but then Mom got sick and then I bought the store and life just got busy. I am happy we were invited to see him. He called last night, I was like, who is calling me from Canada, and to my surprise, it was him! He asked if we were busy Sunday, and I said no because we weren't. Tillie was sitting her and so he asked if she wanted to come too. So we will pick Tillie up on the way. It will work out perfectly. I do have to remember to bring some stuff for mom in case of an oopsie. I will have extra pants for her, some extra diapers, and some wipes. I probably should put an extra t-shirt in there too, just in case. I will also have to bring a couple of ensures for her to make sure she has enough nutrition.

Mom ate great this morning!!! She had a bowl of Cheerios, orange juice, and an ensure! How cool is that? I told her I was very pleased with her and she smiled a big smile. She knew I meant it. Yesterday wasn't a good day for her, she ate horribly, and she couldn't walk very good, it was just not her day. Today, she is a peach and she is doing so much better. I think we are going out to eat for dinner to celebrate. She can have a good bowl of soup and I will get a dinner.

We are doing her bath today instead of tomorrow because of our visiting schedule! I am so excited for the weekend.

Hayley was supposed to come over with her friend shopping tomorrow. I messaged her that we are leaving at noon so she can stop by early. There are a couple of packages here for her. When she shops with her friends we don't see her much, it is just a run in and run out. Totally understandable, they want to shop! I don't particularly like shopping, but mainly because I can't walk that well and need a scooter for any extended shopping. Speaking of shopping, I got Mom her little slippers for the wedding. They are black and I have black socks for her. She will look adorable. It is very important to me that she looks adorable at all times. Now that she needs help getting dressed, I get to pick what she wears. It isn't like she notices or really cares. I mean, they are her clothes, I just put the cute ones on her. I found her favorite outfit the other day. I thought the pants went to donation, but they didn't! She will be wearing that tomorrow.

Well, my first student will be here momentarily, so I hope you have a great day!!! I plan to! It is beautiful out so the pain level isn't high, just regular. The sun is shining, the winds are very strong, all in all, I am pleased with the day!

We have a busy day ahead of us today. First there was the blood test at our family doctors. Both Mom and I had to have tests. Next up is Mom's visit with the arthritis doctor. She sees her about once every six months. Not really too much can be done, as hers is mild and over the counter seems to working okay. Then off to knitting with a lesson thrown in! I can't wait for that part of the day, it is my favorite as I get to hang out with two awesome kids. Calli missed her lesson on Monday because of camp so we are doing it today. It works out well.

Tillie is coming over tomorrow afternoon. She will probably be here before we get back from sewing, but that is okay as she has a key to get in. I have to remember to remove the bad milk from the fridge and clear the table tonight before she arrives. I do like to have things cleared up before guests arrive. Most of the house is still clean from when Maia and Tillie cleaned it. With Mom not being herself, like she used to be, nothing gets pulled out for a new project anymore. That means a cleaner house for us. She used to rip apart one room, get it 3/4 of the way finished and then start a new room. Throw a fit the day before a holiday (because it always took until the holidays) throw stuff in another so she could pretend we were the perfect little family. Used to drive me crazy. I hated holidays. The boys would be fine, but I would be hollered at the night before and the morning of if one little thing wasn't where she could find it. Since she never cooked, she never knew where anything was. I would even leave maps for her and she still couldn't find the stuff she needed. Thank goodness we don't go through that anymore. For years I hated every holiday, major or minor, because for me, it wasn't any fun, I was too busy getting screamed at from her (and she yells rather loudly). One time, Andrew woke up and yelled at her to leave me alone for a change. She glared at him and continued to yell at me, because I moved a salt shaker from the counter to a cupboard. Like she couldn't open on to see it? It was in the front of the cupboard. It was ridicules, simply ridicules. This mellow mom is much better and somewhat easier to deal with. She mostly does what I ask and sits there quietly. I prefer her this way than the way she was when I was growing up. If she was like that, she'd be on her own and I wouldn't be taking care of her.

Our subdivision is having garage sales this weekend (which is why Tillie is coming earlier than originally planned - hey - whatever works for her, works for me). I was going to have one, but we haven't finished the house and although there are a few things I'd like to sell, I don't have a lot right now and our garage is completely full of junk like the rest of our house was. My little red car has never even been in the garage because it is chucked full of crap. We have the boards for the bar that Mom built for the family room in there. I am not putting the bar back up in the family room. We don't spend enough time down there for that and really, there isn't the room for it. We have patio furniture in there, bikes that don't work in there, along with so many empty cardboard boxes. It is quite annoying that I can't fit my little car in there. yes, I know, I have about 11 boxes of my cookbook in there too. Those could be piled up on one side and then move the rest of the stuff so my car would get in. It would be nice to do this before winter next year. That is my goal. We also have lots of tools that we will not use again, as I am not planning any major work to do in this house. Not to mention 2 lawn mowers that don't work. Mom kept everything and I am going to get rid of everything. She isn't here enough to know what stuff is hers and what isn't. After we finish the family room and office, we will head outside to the garage. That will be fun. I can just see the stuff now leaving the garage and my baby car driving inside to keep out of the rain and the snow. What a beautiful thought. Of course, if interest rates sky rocket we won't be in this house so none of that would matter. But let's think positively that interest rates will stay the same.

Well, we are off to the Arthritis Doctor's office now. I hope you are having a great day!

It's a free day, I mean totally free, with nothing planned to do. Oops, just remembered I got to write mom's doctor appointment in the planner. Be right back! Done! They called while we were at Tim Horton's. I knew she had an appointment coming up, just didn't know when. Fortunately, it is the type of office that calls to confirm the appointment. I like that in a doctor's office. It is just a check up for Mom at the arthritis doctor. She has the same doctor as me. I like her a lot. There isn't a whole lot she can do for me though, I have tried many different medicines and nothing has worked yet. Darvacet does pretty well though. I have given up on trying new medicines, one I can't afford them and two, they often don't work.

Mom's friend, Jose, stopped by for a few minutes. I had called him last Wednesday for help and he wasn't in town. He told me today he isn't often available to help me out with Mom. I will mark him off the help list. At least he told me. Of course, I only call when I am desperate, and so far that has been 2 times in 6 months so it isn't very often. He stayed for about 30 minutes. That is a good amount of time. Mom is in the living room resting. She was falling asleep at the table so I moved her to the living room. She wants to stay there for a while, she says. Hey, no problem, I will be in the dining room working on the blog. Nice apart time for us.

Free days are usually the bane of my existence because there is nothing to do. I do have a couple of books to read, I could watch a movie, right now I am watching Oprah (love Oprah!!!), I think I will make Mom some dinner during the news which is on right after Oprah. I am not hungry since I was hungry a few hours ago so I had a sub. I love subs.

Oprah is very interesting today. It usually is. They are talking about food and women, and God. I totally understand. The author has a new book out, I think I will get the book, maybe it will help me with my weight loss. I think part of the reason I haven't lost a lot of weight, it isn't just about the food, it is about the stuff that I haven't worked out yet or am trying to work out. I know I am not alone, although at times it sure feels like it. I am not the only one with this illness, there are millions of us, yet, at times, I feel like I am the only one who has constant pain. It gets so hard to move at times. On top of that, I am the only one who takes care of Mom. I don't have help and usually that is okay, I can do it. But at times, like last Wednesday, I need help and I don't really have any. On a bad day for both of us, I need help. I don't really have anyone I can call for help. I have some numbers now. I can message my friend, Stacey, and I can call Tillie. I know both will help or come and stay with Mom because they have told me I can. I also can call the young girl down the street, although, I did call last week and didn't hear from her. I didn't really care on Thursday, but it would have been good for me to have someone watch Mom for me so I can do something away from her. I will try again in a few weeks.

Tomorrow we will be busy again. I think tonight we will go and get this book and read it. It sounds like a very good book. I would like to lose all my weight, maybe some of the pain would go with it. I do know not all of the pain will go away, I have lost (and gained) a lot of weight before and the pain was still there. I am not expecting a miracle on that, but it would help me avoid other problems I could get. That is my goal. I try to eat right, (even though I eat frozen dinners - they are the lean cuisine and smart ones) and I try to eat fresh veggies when I can. Fruit does a number on my stomach so I don't eat much fruit. I have tried almost every diet out there, maybe there is something in the book that will help me be able to finally shed the extra weight. I am tired of being fat. I am tired of doctors look at me and telling me the weight is going the wrong direction. It gets very discouraging. Very very discouraging.

It isn't really sunny out, it is cold and dreary. Not nice weather at all, fits my mood I suppose. It is supposed to rain all day tomorrow. Ugh, not happy on that. Oh well, we have a busy day tomorrow no matter what. We don't have a choice to go to the doctors, we have to go. Both of us are going to get blood tests first thing in the morning, then Mom's Arthritis appointment, then off to knitting with my friend (a piano lesson thrown in the knitting session too). I hope you are having a good day.

I have learned something new about Alzheimer's. My friend, Debbie, told me about movers. I think Mom is a mover which is why she sleeps so much in the afternoon. She often is up way way way before me and I find her at the gate looking out. She no longer tries to go out of the gate, she just looks out. Sometimes she comes in my room, covers me up, and then goes out again. She also sits on her bed in the mornings when I am sleeping too. Thank goodness I have good friends who are knowledgeable about so many things especially this disease! I am so blessed with friends like that!

Mom took a little (3 hour) nap this afternoon, she slept straight through 2 lessons which is surprising because she usually hears them. She didn't move during either lesson. They were good lessons, both Zach and Charlie are doing well. Zachary got some new songs this week. One was definitely a challenge for the young man. Charlie has a method book for his saxophone, so he gets new music every week. Zachary takes voice lessons, so it is a bit different that teaching the tenor saxophone. Katie was ill, so she had to cancel her lesson. Poor kid. She has just not been healthy during this spring at all this year. I hope she feels better by the end of the week.

I have to mail the W2's from 2009 this week. I have a couple of other pieces of paperwork to send in too. I can't believe our payroll service didn't do it like they did every other year. I was really annoyed when I got the letter. It is a drag to find out that the service you paid for didn't do their job. Nothing I can do about it right now though. I won't ever need to use them again. At the time they were a good service, but boy, now I don't think they were a good service since I have to send in the papers. Thank goodness I do have the papers, they didn't even tell me I had to send it in, or I would have done it in 2009 right away.

Frank is considering going to competition. I have to look up the test list for him tonight so I will have them ready for his lesson next Monday. I hope I don't have to buy anything. I have over 700 pieces of music (both sheet music and books), you would think I would have enough choices for the students. There is also a test list for the vocal students. The only one who might go is Katie, I don't think Zachary is going, it is rather expensive to go. Aggie is planning to go, but she is too old for test list. (I think she is anyways! - I will check into that) It all depends on how the little Mom does between now and then whether or not I go. Tillie has already said she would go with me to be with Mom so that end is covered. I do want to go if my students go because I am always interested in their performances. I will know by the end of the month, since everything is due May 28 and it is only the 11th right now.

It has been raining cats and dogs all day today. My head has been hurting a bit more than usual because of it. Mom has been okay - well, she has slept through most of the afternoon. We met up with some friends at Tim Horton's this morning. It was fun. I also paid my car payment! I am on time with all my payments now. Tomorrow i will call to change the date of my car payment is due. We don't get Mom's money until the 4th Wednesday of the month and mine comes in on the 3rd, but they way the other bills come in and need to be paid, the car gets pushed to the 4th Wednesday.

I hope this finds you doing well and having a good day. If you have sunshine, pass it along up here! Otherwise, we will all survive the rain together! Have a great day!

Mom is sleeping in her chair in the dining room right next to me. She fell asleep in Grace's lesson too. It was kinda cute. Poor thing is so tired. I don't know why. She was up before me but that isn't anything new. She often is up before me as I don't get up very early. It is almost noon before I roll out of bed. She is the morning person, not me. If I have company or a reason I have to get up, I will, but other than that, I won't. Not if I don't have to. I try to get as much sleep as possible. I only woke up a few times last night, so it qualifies as a good night.

I have 3 more lessons for the afternoon/evening. Calli is at sports camp so I don't have her today. I hope she is having a ball. I imagine she is, she is very good at sports. They have this sport just for visually impaired people called goal ball, she especially loves that and gymnastics. She is such a cute young person. She is enthusiastic about so much of what she does, she makes teaching a blast. it is nice to have a student just like her. I need several more just like her and that would make my day, or week so to speak.

Mother's Day went well, Mom liked the roast beef we had for dinner. She ate pretty okay for her. I thoroughly enjoyed it. We have left overs for tonight. A few potatoes, carrots, and of course, the beef. I will serve that after Debbie's lesson. I only have her for a few more weeks and then she is moving to Seattle. Where I want to go (because of the attachments Richard has). I wish we lived there with him. That would be great for me because I would get Abigail and William everyday and what could be better than that? Nothing! It would be good for Mom too because then she would know her grandchildren better. Right now, since we don't really hear from them, we only talk to them once or twice a year, it isn't that good. But to live with them, well, that would be this side of heaven.

It's hard to believe it is May outside because it has been so cold. It is going to be cold and raining tomorrow. Poor Mom, it seems like forever since she has been warm. I feel so bad at times for her, although, I am often cold myself, so I know a bit how she feels. She is just frozen all the time. I put several blankets on her bed and she still is cold at times. A few nights ago, I had 6 blankets on her bed before she was a little toasty (as we call it). I couldn't believe it! 6 blankets and she was finally warming up. She even had warm pajamas on, but that didn't help much. I have about 4 blankets on my bed, but 2 are for the feet, my feet are always cold at night. And if they are cold, forget, no sleep for Heather.

Well, Bob should be here anytime now! I hope this finds you doing well and having a great day! Enjoy the sunshine if you have it (we do right now!)

Here is the weekly link:

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/

Happy Mother's Day!!!! I hope it is the best one ever for all the mom's out there!!!!

You may be under the impression that you have the greatest mom, well, sorry to disappoint you, I have her. Even with her memory going, she is still the greatest mom ever. (Kristen Chenoweth says the same thing in her autobiography! I love those lines!) Anyways, it is Mother's Day and she chose to have a roast beef for dinner instead of going out to eat. So I put the roast kit in the crock pot (you didn't think I'd use an oven, did you???) and put it together before we went out. It smells scrumptious. Really really scrumptious. Mom picked a good choice. Since we went out to dinner yesterday to celebrate today, I don't mind not taking her today. I am sure the restaurants are full of people waiting to celebrate!

I even managed to do her hair this afternoon. Sometimes I do a decent job, sometimes I don't. We don't get her shower and hair done in Windsor anymore, we will be getting the services over her soon, until then, it is up to me and I did it without soaking her this time. I was proud of myself. Right now we are both sitting in the dining room with wet hair. I will dry our heads with our new blow dryer shortly. (after I finish this entry)

It has been a nice day so far. I haven't really yelled at all and my patience is in place for a change. I am working on being more patient because I lose patience really fast some days. All depends on how much sleep I have. I had a good night. I don't know how Mom actually slept Friday night because neither one of us had our medicine. That could have been a disaster for both of us. I didn't sleep much at all, but since we had to get up at 8 am, I was awake in time and not groggy. I did sleep super good last night, only woke 2 times to move around from the pain. I am a happy camper with that today.

Mom and I are going to watch It's Complicated in a few (after our hair is dried) I wanted to see it when it came out but we never got around to it so I bought it. From what my friends have said, it is really funny and they enjoyed it a lot. I was nervous about it because it is rated R and I don't watch too many rated R movies. Both of my friends who saw it said there was nothing objectionable in it, so I am counting on them to be right.

Mom didn't want to go to a movie today, so we didn't go. Maybe next week or maybe we will wait until Oceans in on DVD. I really want to see that one. I love the Disney nature movies. We saw Earth last year and loved it. I also saw March of the Penguins and I loved that one too. Nature and I get along just fine.

It is chilly today, but not as chilly as yesterday. Not much happening but celebrating Mom's Day with her. Pain is doing alright, not to high and my head is back to normal. My arm is a bit sore after washing both our heads in the sink but I took a pain pill for it so it should be kicking in soon. It is nice and sunny out. Mom is standing up straight today and walking fine unlike last week when she wasn't walking fine. Today she doesn't need a walker, but you never know what she will be like tomorrow. Last week she needed a walker. It is interesting the ups and downs of Alzheimer's, almost as interesting as the ups and downs of FMS. I hope this finds you doing well and enjoying the specialness of the day.

Went out to dinner with the Emerton Family, and boy was it fun! Lily is so cute, she brings a book to read so she can be entertained at the same time as we are. Mom really enjoyed it too. She ate almost all of her soup and ice cream too! I was very pleased with it. It was so nice to see Julie in a relaxed manner, she has a load on her mind and lots to do with the wedding that is coming up. Next week I will be starting to alter the bridesmaids dresses for Lily and Emily. Should be rather fun and exciting as I love sewing.

I almost couldn't find the book I needed for Lily after I burned the CD. I knew we saw it last week, I just wasn't too sure where. Just when I was about to give up, I found it. She has 2 new Broadway songs this week: I Could Have Danced All Night from My Fair Lady, and The Sound of Music, from, well, the Sound of Music. She catches on really quick too. She have them down in no time. She forgot a disc at home so we plunked out her Panis Angelicus. She does a nice job on that one and it is her first foreign language song. She will start Italian this summer. I suspect she will be very good at it. I will also have her start another classical book as well as keeping up on her Broadway. Got to have a bit of Broadway to offset the classical. Although she seems to enjoy almost all of the songs she has had but 1. Definitely a record there. Most students don't like a lot of the classical but like the Broadway, she likes almost anything. Makes her so easy to teach and to enjoy teaching her. We had a bit of a giggle during the lesson, both her dad and my mom fell asleep during the lesson. We thought that was rather funny, each on a different couch, but sleeping. Mom was sleeping for about 2 hours while Ross was a sleep for 15 minutes, big difference there. It was quite funny for the both of us to see them. I finally woke Mom up at 2 because I wanted to go to walmart to pick up a few things. I got another Roast Kit. Next time, I am going to just pick up the roast and make my own kit and see how it turns out. I have the veggies in the fridge, just need the meat. I am really getting into this crock pot thing with roasts and stews and stuff.

I got Mom some stuff for her bed, I can't wait to see how they work, they should help keep the sheets dry if she has an oopsie. I also got a new toilet seat for her, so that should help her not be nervous with the bathroom. She is so afraid of falling, which she did earlier today. Fortunately, she didn't hurt herself, but she could have broken a bone with how she fell. She didn't want to use her walker today so I just let her hold on to me. On good days, that seems to help, on bad days, she needs the walker. Eventually she will need the walker full time outside of the house.

I spoke to Kathy this afternoon. It was Jacob's first communion this afternoon. Kathy picked out real cute spring dresses for the twins and had to put sweaters and jackets on them because it is so cold outside. It is like winter outside, only minus the snow. It was fun talking with her for a few minutes before she had to go back to her guests. Her parents, his parents, and 1 of Tony's (her husband) brothers were there. A nice showing for Jacob, I think.

I am planning on a good sleep in tomorrow for Mom and I. I don't think we will get up early, either one of us. Well, maybe her, she is an early bird person, unlike me. We will do our usual, going to Tim Horton's, and then we will relax at home with a nice bath and a movie. We are watching Walker Texas Ranger season 6 disc 4. Mom and I are really enjoying the episodes. I am going to try to do some knitting while I am watching TV. I have to get going on my scarf if I want it done someday, which I do. It is for Mom. It is red and matches her winter coat. She will look very cute in it. I also have to cut the pictures and put them in frames on the piano. I have some really cute frames that I think her picture will look nice in. I need a 5 X 7 and a 8 X 10. Then I will pick a picture out for Richard and send it too him. I will even buy him a nice (but not too expensive) 5 X 7 frame. I will do the same for Andrew. We can get some nice ones from Walmart. I should have done that today, but I forgot. Well, there is always next time. I am sure in the next few weeks we will be back at Walmart getting some necessary stuff, like food and medicine. I am glad the store is nearby, only about 4 miles away. It is our favorite shopping place, mainly because they have a lot of stuff and a scooter! Without those scooters, I wouldn't be able to shop. I have to get both Mom and I new summer flats for the wedding. I will be looking in the catelogues I get. I will find something we both will like and look nice in.

Well, off to get ready for bed! It is almost that time again! I hope you had a good day too!

Mom's Doppler test on both legs and feet came out perfect. She doesn't have a blood clot and her circulation is good. I was thrilled. We went to our usual after that. Mom, as usual, is sleeping in the chair. It's a good day for it as it is so cold outside. What happened to spring, I want to know? It is in the 40's today and looks rainy. ugh. Not to happy about that. Mom is an ice cube. I will put a blanket on her when we go into the family room. I think after lessons I will nap.

The new disposable undies worked last night! No mess to clean! yeah! I was rather pleased with that. Now if they only had straps, they would be perfect, but you can't have everything and I will take what we got. Mom was happy too. I don't think she was happy about getting up at 8 am though. She has been having a bit of trouble getting out of bed these last few mornings. She is very sore. I don't really know why except she is in bed longer than she ever has been and that could be it. She can get up when she wants, she just lies there and waits for me. I don't ask questions, it doesn't do any good, I just live here.

I am supposed to have 2 lovely lessons with 2 lovely young ladies today, Lily and Aggie. I am excited about both. I just love both girls. They are really neat girls. Lily is now 12, hard to believe as I remember her as a 3 year old. Aggie is almost 20 now. I have to quickly burn a CD for Lily, a Broadway one. I just remembered. More later!