We had a real estate lady here earlier to tell us how much the house is worth in this market. I just want to have an idea for when we sell it. We aren't selling anytime soon that is for sure because I am going to have a job that will keep me in it while I slowly go through it. I am not in a rush. I need time to really think about what I have, what I want, and what I need.
Yesterday, I was at Uncle John's. It was mostly a good day. I got tired and a bit of a headache at the end of the night. I am not sure why but I did. I left first because it was almost 9 pm and I needed to get going to drive home the hour and a half it takes. I didn't want to be driving with a bad headache which was on its way. Mean head.
Phoebe is coming over tonight. I can't wait to see her. I want to hear all about her new job. She just started today so I am excited for her. Also, she is going to give me information to apply for the job. I know she went it to me before, but I accidentally erased it. What was I thinking?
It is a bit of a sad day for me. It has been 4 weeks since Mom died. 5 weeks since she last spoke to me. I will always treasure the fact that the last thing she said to me and the last thing I said to her was I love you. I mean, how cool is that? How many people actually get to say that? Not many. So many that I know of regret what they say to the person they love right before they die because they don't know they are going to die. I am glad I have a beautiful memory of her saying I love you to me. I also made sure for the last few years that I told her everyday how much I loved her. Because she was losing her memory I really wanted her to remember that I loved her. She remembered that until the very end as far as I know. I would ask her, Momma do you know how much I love you? Did I tell you today how much I love you? She would sometimes say, yes, you told me, tell me again, other times she would say I don't know if you did. But I made sure that everyday I told her how much I loved her even when I was mad at her.
Phoebe and I had a great time. She made spaghetti with sausage! Yum! We watched the bucket list. Surprisingly it was funny and I wasn't sad watching it like I was afraid I would be.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
a Bit about Mom
Hi! Since I posted the pictures of Mom, I am going to give a brief history of the little lady. She was an amazing woman to me. I know most of us feel that way about our moms. Moms are so special, aren't they?
Anyways:
Mom was born in 1934 in Chatham, Ontario, Canada. Her full name is Vivian Albertha Paxton. She was the first of 4 children born to my grandparents. When she was small, she lived on a farm outside the city limits right next door to her grandparents. Mom told me once when she was about 5, she decided she would rather live with her grandmother. They were very close. Now they are together again. So Mom took her baby carriage and baby doll across to the fence dividing the property and toss the carriage and the doll over and hopped over the fence. Of course, her grandmother said she had to go home. Mom was very upset at that. She thought that at 5 she should get to live with her grandmother.
At 8, Mom moved to Windsor, Ontario, Canada because her dad got a job at Ford Motor Company. He worked there until he retired. I don't know when. Mom was culture shocked when she moved. In the country, she went to a one room school house. In the city, she went to a huge elementary school. It took some time before she liked it.
Mom joined the air force at 18 years old. I don't remember how long she said she was in it, but it was for a short while. She left the air force and joined the army reserves in Windsor and there she served for 31 years. She was the first woman in all of Ontario to become a major, and the 2nd in all of Canada. She also served as an aide to the Lieutenant Governor of Ontario. She loved doing that. I remember one time we went to the opening of the Ontario Parliament (like their congress) and we (Andrew and I) were told do NOT run down the hall the other children were running down and scream. Well, needless to say, I couldn't resist. I mean, really, how would mom know, she was on the other side of the building. So I started running, I didn't scream because that would have been to rude, people were working in the offices down that hall. Of course, I ran right into Mom at the end of the hall. Apparently one of her friends saw me start running and rushed to tell mom, laughing the whole time. You see, Andrew and I were always on our best behavior when we were at official functions. Her friends used to tease her about how we never did anything wrong. Well, the person couldn't wait to tell mom. I had to stand or sit next to her the rest of the day. Mom's friends had a field day teasing her about how I messed up. Of course, Andrew was too shy at the time to do anything so bad, only I did it. I tried to convince him to do it and the smart little boy refused. Good thing, we both would have been in trouble that day.
We had a lot of fun with her on the official duties at times, other times it was so boring waiting and waiting for her to be finished. We always had toys to play with but you know kids, they want what they don't have with them. Overall, it was kind of cool watching mom on a parade square giving orders. (Unless she was bellowing my name, then it wasn't cool at all) These are just some of the memories I have of mom.
Anyways:
Mom was born in 1934 in Chatham, Ontario, Canada. Her full name is Vivian Albertha Paxton. She was the first of 4 children born to my grandparents. When she was small, she lived on a farm outside the city limits right next door to her grandparents. Mom told me once when she was about 5, she decided she would rather live with her grandmother. They were very close. Now they are together again. So Mom took her baby carriage and baby doll across to the fence dividing the property and toss the carriage and the doll over and hopped over the fence. Of course, her grandmother said she had to go home. Mom was very upset at that. She thought that at 5 she should get to live with her grandmother.
At 8, Mom moved to Windsor, Ontario, Canada because her dad got a job at Ford Motor Company. He worked there until he retired. I don't know when. Mom was culture shocked when she moved. In the country, she went to a one room school house. In the city, she went to a huge elementary school. It took some time before she liked it.
Mom joined the air force at 18 years old. I don't remember how long she said she was in it, but it was for a short while. She left the air force and joined the army reserves in Windsor and there she served for 31 years. She was the first woman in all of Ontario to become a major, and the 2nd in all of Canada. She also served as an aide to the Lieutenant Governor of Ontario. She loved doing that. I remember one time we went to the opening of the Ontario Parliament (like their congress) and we (Andrew and I) were told do NOT run down the hall the other children were running down and scream. Well, needless to say, I couldn't resist. I mean, really, how would mom know, she was on the other side of the building. So I started running, I didn't scream because that would have been to rude, people were working in the offices down that hall. Of course, I ran right into Mom at the end of the hall. Apparently one of her friends saw me start running and rushed to tell mom, laughing the whole time. You see, Andrew and I were always on our best behavior when we were at official functions. Her friends used to tease her about how we never did anything wrong. Well, the person couldn't wait to tell mom. I had to stand or sit next to her the rest of the day. Mom's friends had a field day teasing her about how I messed up. Of course, Andrew was too shy at the time to do anything so bad, only I did it. I tried to convince him to do it and the smart little boy refused. Good thing, we both would have been in trouble that day.
We had a lot of fun with her on the official duties at times, other times it was so boring waiting and waiting for her to be finished. We always had toys to play with but you know kids, they want what they don't have with them. Overall, it was kind of cool watching mom on a parade square giving orders. (Unless she was bellowing my name, then it wasn't cool at all) These are just some of the memories I have of mom.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
pictures of the little mother
I am going to try to post some pictures of Mom. I have created an album of them on face book of mom. I was surprised at how easy it was to do! I mean, even inept me could do it.
So here goes nothing!!!
So here goes nothing!!!
So anyways, here are a few pictures of the little Mom through out the years. I have so many to choose from that it was a lot of fun choosing. The bottom picture is one of the ones that I am going to have enlarged and frame as I simply love the picture of mom.
Hope you liked the pictures!
saturday
I met up with Peggy today for lunch. Boy, was it fun. I had a really good time. I am tired from it, but it was a good time. I haven't seen her since the funeral. I got up around 11:30 today and was a bit lazy while I waited for her call when she finished work. She had to work this morning at her job. She works in an office for a manufacturing plant. Sounds like fun. We were there for about 3 hours. Yup, we sure were.
When I got home, I called Anne and talked to her a bit, that was fun too. She and her boyfriend were making beef stew in a crock pot. I am going to do that on Monday for dinner. I have the kit and everything. I love beef stew. I also have a pork roast kit that I need to make too. We will have that this week too since I will have company to feed.
I got a message from my friend, Missy, who warned me about playing the mind games about if I did this, would Mom still be alive type thing. How did she know that IS exactly what my mind has been doing for the last couple of days. If I got Mom out of the nursing home early would she still be alive, if she had not been in the hospital to recover from the UTI's would she still be alive. Well, the truth is, is doesn't matter because my mom is in Heaven and all the wishing in the world is NOT going to bring her back to me. Bottom line, she is in Heaven and she is healthy and happy and watching over me. I miss her every minute of the day right now, but right now, I am alright and no trace of tears. I had a good day and I am going to watch some TV tonight, Numbers, and try to enjoy myself. I can watch whatever I want now so I am going to watch this show. I have the entire season 6 to watch. Anne loves this show too. I had to stop watching it because it was on so late on Fridays, but also, it started scaring Mom and no show is worth Mom being scared. She was scared enough, I didn't need TV to scare her too. I am also going to scan some pictures of her tonight to or try to put the pictures we have on disc so that I can try to post them both on face book and on my blog so everyone can see what my little (and I mean little) Mom looked like. I think she was simply gorgeous. Of course, I am a bit biased, so bear with me on that. She was the best mom ever. I know, many of you say the same thing about your mom, but really, mine was the best! He he he! There was a time when we fought a lot as many moms and daughters do, but as adults we were more than just mother and daughter, we were best friends too. We liked the same things, did the same activities, and simply enjoyed each others company. It was a great friendship we had, I just wish my brothers had the same. Yes, they simply adored Mom too, but they weren't as close friends as mom and I were. Mom and I even went on vacations together. I went on some with my friends, but I would come home and cry because something wouldn't be right or we got in a fight or something like that. After the 3rd time I came home and cried (I was in my 20s), mom suggested I go with her. Well, I did and we had a blast! We had so much fun. We giggled together, we talked and talked and talked. We liked the same type things. We were a lot alike in many ways. I don't know if that is making it harder for me because we were such good pals, or if it would be just as hard anyways. It doesn't matter, it is very hard. I have new respect for people who have lost loved ones. It is sheer hell, sheer hell. Today, I am doing better though! So I am taking it as I can. Well, off to figure out some pictures!!!!! Have a spectacular night!
When I got home, I called Anne and talked to her a bit, that was fun too. She and her boyfriend were making beef stew in a crock pot. I am going to do that on Monday for dinner. I have the kit and everything. I love beef stew. I also have a pork roast kit that I need to make too. We will have that this week too since I will have company to feed.
I got a message from my friend, Missy, who warned me about playing the mind games about if I did this, would Mom still be alive type thing. How did she know that IS exactly what my mind has been doing for the last couple of days. If I got Mom out of the nursing home early would she still be alive, if she had not been in the hospital to recover from the UTI's would she still be alive. Well, the truth is, is doesn't matter because my mom is in Heaven and all the wishing in the world is NOT going to bring her back to me. Bottom line, she is in Heaven and she is healthy and happy and watching over me. I miss her every minute of the day right now, but right now, I am alright and no trace of tears. I had a good day and I am going to watch some TV tonight, Numbers, and try to enjoy myself. I can watch whatever I want now so I am going to watch this show. I have the entire season 6 to watch. Anne loves this show too. I had to stop watching it because it was on so late on Fridays, but also, it started scaring Mom and no show is worth Mom being scared. She was scared enough, I didn't need TV to scare her too. I am also going to scan some pictures of her tonight to or try to put the pictures we have on disc so that I can try to post them both on face book and on my blog so everyone can see what my little (and I mean little) Mom looked like. I think she was simply gorgeous. Of course, I am a bit biased, so bear with me on that. She was the best mom ever. I know, many of you say the same thing about your mom, but really, mine was the best! He he he! There was a time when we fought a lot as many moms and daughters do, but as adults we were more than just mother and daughter, we were best friends too. We liked the same things, did the same activities, and simply enjoyed each others company. It was a great friendship we had, I just wish my brothers had the same. Yes, they simply adored Mom too, but they weren't as close friends as mom and I were. Mom and I even went on vacations together. I went on some with my friends, but I would come home and cry because something wouldn't be right or we got in a fight or something like that. After the 3rd time I came home and cried (I was in my 20s), mom suggested I go with her. Well, I did and we had a blast! We had so much fun. We giggled together, we talked and talked and talked. We liked the same type things. We were a lot alike in many ways. I don't know if that is making it harder for me because we were such good pals, or if it would be just as hard anyways. It doesn't matter, it is very hard. I have new respect for people who have lost loved ones. It is sheer hell, sheer hell. Today, I am doing better though! So I am taking it as I can. Well, off to figure out some pictures!!!!! Have a spectacular night!
Friday, November 12, 2010
nighttime
It seems to be bad in the nighttime before I go to bed. I tried reading before I went to bed tonight and I started crying again. I miss her most I think at night. I have rarely, before she died, slept in the house on my own so I think that might be part of it. One month ago she was alive, dying, but alive. I don't understand why they couldn't fix this. Wouldn't a feeding tube have worked? The doctor said no, but still, shouldn't we have tried? I don't know. I just miss her most in the morning and the evening. I have way too much time on my hands.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
I hope tomorrow is a better day.
friday - a bit better of a day
I am feeling a bit better today after crying pretty much all last evening and some this morning. I talked to Richard, my older brother, at 11pm last night. hey, I was desperate to talk to someone and he called me back! I had left a message that I wasn't doing too well and needed to talk to him. He reassured me I was doing just fine and it was normal to feel what I was feeling, just like everyone else said. It calmed me down enough to have a decent night sleep for a chance. I was a bit teary eyed this morning but I called Kathy and we talked and now I feel much better. I think it was because we started going through mom's things in the dining room cabinet. We aren't going to go through anymore of mom's things until I am ready which is not right now. I need help with the paperwork and that is all right now. I can't handle cleaning out mom's stuff, that is the bottom line, nor do I want anyone else to take care of it. I will do it later, not right now. It feels like I am invading her privacy going through her stuff. I know it needs to be done, but not yet. I need more time to get used to this being alone business.
Julie just called. Lily will be coming over here after she gets her teeth extracted so that Julie can take her husband, Ross, to the emergency room. He fell and hurt his wrist. Hey, I get Lily! So I am happy on that. I know she won't be feeling too great after getting teeth extracted, I don't care if she sleeps or whatever, I will get to feast my eyes on her and that is good. Lily is one of the adopted grandchildren of Mom. She and her sisters adopted Mom many years ago since they don't have their own grandparents in their life. Lily is very upset over mom dying too. It is very hard for her and her sister, just like it is me.
I hope by the weekend to have some pictures ready to post of mom. There are a couple of when she was young that I simply love and then of course, the professional pictures I got taken this past march near her birthday. I also plan to work on the thank you notes. I haven't even started them yet. I would have yesterday, but we all know how that day went. I have to be clear headed to do the notes. There are so many people to thank. So many of my friends came to support me which I completely appreciate. I know I am a very lucky girl, I have family and friends who love me and that is so important. I love them right back. It helped a lot to talk to Kathy and Richard today and yesterday. Sometimes just hearing a voice on the other end is very helpful to me. I am glad that I am doing what is considered normal at this stage of the game. I was so afraid that I wasn't adjusting well and that I was not normal with this grieving that I am doing. I can think of mom today and smile. I am not going to go through pictures today though, I am still feeling a bit fragile, but I want to post some this weekend so everyone can see how awesome my mom was, not just hear me say it. Like Kathy said today, it sucks, no way around it, it just sucks. I dread the day she has to go through this, however, she will have me, because I will have gone through it, maybe I can make her pain a bit less. Fortunately, her parents are both very healthy. They came to the funeral to see mom, they didn't come to the funeral because they were watching Kathy's little girls. I was so glad we had the funeral on a day Kathy could be there, because it helped tremendously to have my best friend there with me holding my hand.
I hope you are having a good day. Mine is better, not great, but better. Lily will be here soon, so that should be awesome to chat with the young lady.
Julie just called. Lily will be coming over here after she gets her teeth extracted so that Julie can take her husband, Ross, to the emergency room. He fell and hurt his wrist. Hey, I get Lily! So I am happy on that. I know she won't be feeling too great after getting teeth extracted, I don't care if she sleeps or whatever, I will get to feast my eyes on her and that is good. Lily is one of the adopted grandchildren of Mom. She and her sisters adopted Mom many years ago since they don't have their own grandparents in their life. Lily is very upset over mom dying too. It is very hard for her and her sister, just like it is me.
I hope by the weekend to have some pictures ready to post of mom. There are a couple of when she was young that I simply love and then of course, the professional pictures I got taken this past march near her birthday. I also plan to work on the thank you notes. I haven't even started them yet. I would have yesterday, but we all know how that day went. I have to be clear headed to do the notes. There are so many people to thank. So many of my friends came to support me which I completely appreciate. I know I am a very lucky girl, I have family and friends who love me and that is so important. I love them right back. It helped a lot to talk to Kathy and Richard today and yesterday. Sometimes just hearing a voice on the other end is very helpful to me. I am glad that I am doing what is considered normal at this stage of the game. I was so afraid that I wasn't adjusting well and that I was not normal with this grieving that I am doing. I can think of mom today and smile. I am not going to go through pictures today though, I am still feeling a bit fragile, but I want to post some this weekend so everyone can see how awesome my mom was, not just hear me say it. Like Kathy said today, it sucks, no way around it, it just sucks. I dread the day she has to go through this, however, she will have me, because I will have gone through it, maybe I can make her pain a bit less. Fortunately, her parents are both very healthy. They came to the funeral to see mom, they didn't come to the funeral because they were watching Kathy's little girls. I was so glad we had the funeral on a day Kathy could be there, because it helped tremendously to have my best friend there with me holding my hand.
I hope you are having a good day. Mine is better, not great, but better. Lily will be here soon, so that should be awesome to chat with the young lady.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
thursday - part 2
I am having a hard time adjusting today. I came home from the eye doctor and was fine for a bit and then the tears started rolling. Took a nap, was better, then a creditor for mom called and the tears started rolling again. I can't seem to stop them so they just keep rolling on down my face. I thought I was adjusting well, even have a possible lead for a job, but the tears are just rolling. I even emailed my younger brother, Andrew, to see what he does when he is overwhelmed. Is it because we started going through Mom's stuff? Or because I am alone. I was alone last weekend and was fine, sick with a cold, but fine. What is up? This grieving process has me thrown for a loop. How on earth can people manage? I don't seem to be doing it very well. My head says one thing but my heart says something different. I know Mom is not in pain anymore and she is healthy and well. I know part of her will always be with me. I know that, but it isn't helping me right now. Is it because I am scared of what is going to happen? I don't know, I have never been through anything like this before. When my dad left, I had mom, when I got sick, I had mom, I mean, I always had Mom and now I don't. Is this normal or I am just not handling this well? I knew it would be hard as she was always with me, especially in the last five years, but I didn't know it would be this hard. I had no idea. Maybe I could have prepared for this. I don't know. Maybe. Is there a good book I should read to help me, besides the bible, which sometimes helps, sometimes doesn't. I know she is with family and friends in Heaven, but I want her here. Am I just super selfish or what? I don't understand why my heart is hurting so bad. I wish I was with her. I just want to be with my mom, that is all, just with her because even in her bad days, it was better with her than without. How long does this take before i don't cry a lot? How on earth am I supposed to go on with living with this much pain? It hurts more than fibro and arthritis and everything else I have. Crying also makes my head hurt worse, so that makes even more pain. I just don't get this. I want her back now, right now so I won't hurt so bad. I know people have gone through this before me, lots of people, how did they survive?
I am going to try to go to bed now. I hope I sleep, this pain isn't so bad when I am sleeping. Maybe I will be better tomorrow. I hope so. I need to get past this pain somehow. It is overwhelming me so much that I feel like I am walking through mud and not going anywhere. I think I need help for this. Maybe counseling will help or is this normal 1 month after a parent or someone you love dies and leaves you all alone? Am I losing my mind too?
I am going to try to go to bed now. I hope I sleep, this pain isn't so bad when I am sleeping. Maybe I will be better tomorrow. I hope so. I need to get past this pain somehow. It is overwhelming me so much that I feel like I am walking through mud and not going anywhere. I think I need help for this. Maybe counseling will help or is this normal 1 month after a parent or someone you love dies and leaves you all alone? Am I losing my mind too?
thursday
I am getting discouraged. I looked at the low income apartments that we have in the area and almost all them have massively long waiting lists. yeah, that is so encouraging. The ones that don't, well you have to be a senior for those and I am not. 62 or older you can get into one right away in some places. The ones near my house are at least a year if not longer wait. Where do I live in the meantime? Out of a box somewhere? I certainly do hope I get a job because that seems to be the only thing I can do to have a place to live. However, there is the looming question on how well am I to work? Well, I have major concentrating problems at time due to Fibro fog, plus there is the minor detail that I have a headache everyday not to mention the other problems with Fibromyalgia and Arthritis, etc. Yeah, today is not my day. I think I am going to take a nap shortly as I am exhausted from everything that has been going on lately.
We finished organizing Mom's paperwork. Mine will start next week. Of course I have paperwork that was due yesterday that I haven't done yet. See what I mean about the fog? I know sometimes that it has to be done, and then others I forget it. I think I just want to hide from the world for the rest of today. I am just really down this afternoon, didn't seem so this morning, but right now I am. I don't have any dreams today. They are all down the tube. I hope later on is better and tomorrow is better too because this just stinks.
I miss Mom even more today, at least with her I knew where I would live and how we would live. This limbo business is awful. How do people do it? I just don't know. Today is not my day, maybe tomorrow will be better.
We finished organizing Mom's paperwork. Mine will start next week. Of course I have paperwork that was due yesterday that I haven't done yet. See what I mean about the fog? I know sometimes that it has to be done, and then others I forget it. I think I just want to hide from the world for the rest of today. I am just really down this afternoon, didn't seem so this morning, but right now I am. I don't have any dreams today. They are all down the tube. I hope later on is better and tomorrow is better too because this just stinks.
I miss Mom even more today, at least with her I knew where I would live and how we would live. This limbo business is awful. How do people do it? I just don't know. Today is not my day, maybe tomorrow will be better.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I don't qualify
I don't qualify for the job at oracle. I do as far as the teaching part is, but the technical stuff, I don't know. Also, you have to be able to stand for extended periods of time and we all know I can't. So much for that plan. On to plan B. Still revamp resume, but let's see what else is out there. I hope for 7 more students weekly, that is the goal. 7 more students. Please pray for 7 more in the next month or two so I can stay in the house and not have to move.
Midweek
I can't believe it is Wednesday, already! Oh my, this week has flown. I pulled out my resume and sort of fixed it up. I think it needs more, but my brain is slightly overloaded at this point, so I will go back to it again later tonight or tomorrow. One or the other, who knows when. Sometime before Friday as I want to apply for the job I would like by Friday. I do hope I get it. I know it will take time, but I really feel I could do this job and be good at it. My only concern is my limited mobility but even that isn't a big concern. I want to get my life going so I feel like I am moving forward instead of treading water. Maybe I will miss Mom less and it will be less overwhelming if I am moving forward. Right now, I am not doing a whole lot so it seems like every time I turn around I am bombarded with the realization that she is gone. I need this to stop and move onward like she would want me too.
I really do think this job would be great for me. I have years of experience in teaching and that is what the job is for, teaching, only in a corporate setting. The travel isn't bad because there isn't any reason I can't travel, I mean, no one to come home to at this point. I will keep the house which is one of my goals. I don't want to move unless I have no choice, and with a job, I would have a choice because I would make enough money to keep the house! I may even make enough in 3 years to buy the boys out of the house. Works for me. I don't know, that is jumping ahead of myself and I don't want to have unrealistic type goals. I am feeling better, health wise, so I think getting a job would be good because I don't have the added stress of a family to take care of, I would be able to focus on taking care of me. So you can see why I think a job at this point would work. It isn't like it was when I had Mom, I needed to focus all my energies on her because she was so ill. Now, I only have me. I wish I had Mom, but I don't anymore. She told me a long time ago she wanted me to be able to move forward after she had passed away. I, of course, was horrified at that type of talk and basically changed the subject, but I know she doesn't want me pining away like I am. It isn't good for pain, and it isn't good for the heart. Yes, I miss her, and I miss her a lot, but I need to do something to move forward to. I am sending my resume to Richard so he can look at it and give me some advice. He would definitely know what the business world wants because he is in the heart of it. Yes, part of me still wants to live with Richard, mainly out of fear and wanting to be with him because I do see him so little. I miss him, I miss his family. He has great kids and a wonderful wife that I enjoy being around.
I must digress! I now have 2, yes 2 new students starting next week. A young man name Dawson who is 12 and a young lady named Alyssa who is also 12 years old. I am so excited about this. This leaving everything to God is certainly working out well right now. I am still scared to death at times, but hey, who isn't? Most people I know get scared every so often, so I know that I am normal. yeah, I now only need 7 new students in the next 3 months to keep me here in the house or a new job! One or the other!!!!!
It has been a busyish day around here. Tillie and Maia finished up with Mom's paperwork and will be starting on mine. They are grocery shopping right now. They have been gone for a very long time and boy am I getting hungry!!!!! I tried to go to the Secretary of State today to cancel Mom's ID but I didn't bring in the Death Certificate and also I forgot my title to the car to take care of my car's little business so I will have to go back next week. Not too much of a big deal. Tomorrow we are meeting with the lawyer again and I hope he has everything I need finished because I don't want to have to make yet another trip. I also am going to be getting my eyes checked. Yuck, that happens at 1 pm at Walmart. They do a good job there. I was very happy with the doctor they have and with what I need to do so I don't become blind, (I have macular
I hope your day is going well. Mine mostly has been okay. I took care of some business, some I have to go and do later because of lack of the right papers. I will be turning my attention on my room shortly. Ugh, what a disaster that is right now. Stuff everywhere! Well, 1 drawer at a time, right? That's my motto. I thing at a time, can't do too many at a time because it will be too overwhelming.
I really do think this job would be great for me. I have years of experience in teaching and that is what the job is for, teaching, only in a corporate setting. The travel isn't bad because there isn't any reason I can't travel, I mean, no one to come home to at this point. I will keep the house which is one of my goals. I don't want to move unless I have no choice, and with a job, I would have a choice because I would make enough money to keep the house! I may even make enough in 3 years to buy the boys out of the house. Works for me. I don't know, that is jumping ahead of myself and I don't want to have unrealistic type goals. I am feeling better, health wise, so I think getting a job would be good because I don't have the added stress of a family to take care of, I would be able to focus on taking care of me. So you can see why I think a job at this point would work. It isn't like it was when I had Mom, I needed to focus all my energies on her because she was so ill. Now, I only have me. I wish I had Mom, but I don't anymore. She told me a long time ago she wanted me to be able to move forward after she had passed away. I, of course, was horrified at that type of talk and basically changed the subject, but I know she doesn't want me pining away like I am. It isn't good for pain, and it isn't good for the heart. Yes, I miss her, and I miss her a lot, but I need to do something to move forward to. I am sending my resume to Richard so he can look at it and give me some advice. He would definitely know what the business world wants because he is in the heart of it. Yes, part of me still wants to live with Richard, mainly out of fear and wanting to be with him because I do see him so little. I miss him, I miss his family. He has great kids and a wonderful wife that I enjoy being around.
I must digress! I now have 2, yes 2 new students starting next week. A young man name Dawson who is 12 and a young lady named Alyssa who is also 12 years old. I am so excited about this. This leaving everything to God is certainly working out well right now. I am still scared to death at times, but hey, who isn't? Most people I know get scared every so often, so I know that I am normal. yeah, I now only need 7 new students in the next 3 months to keep me here in the house or a new job! One or the other!!!!!
It has been a busyish day around here. Tillie and Maia finished up with Mom's paperwork and will be starting on mine. They are grocery shopping right now. They have been gone for a very long time and boy am I getting hungry!!!!! I tried to go to the Secretary of State today to cancel Mom's ID but I didn't bring in the Death Certificate and also I forgot my title to the car to take care of my car's little business so I will have to go back next week. Not too much of a big deal. Tomorrow we are meeting with the lawyer again and I hope he has everything I need finished because I don't want to have to make yet another trip. I also am going to be getting my eyes checked. Yuck, that happens at 1 pm at Walmart. They do a good job there. I was very happy with the doctor they have and with what I need to do so I don't become blind, (I have macular
I hope your day is going well. Mine mostly has been okay. I took care of some business, some I have to go and do later because of lack of the right papers. I will be turning my attention on my room shortly. Ugh, what a disaster that is right now. Stuff everywhere! Well, 1 drawer at a time, right? That's my motto. I thing at a time, can't do too many at a time because it will be too overwhelming.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
paperwork day
We are doing major paperwork today. Well, okay, Maia and Tillie are doing major paperwork. I am just the bystander saying yes or no to whatever they are doing. Tillie and I went to the lawyer's today only to discover he didn't do anything he was supposed to so we have to go back on Thursday at 10 am. Yeah, I wasn't pleased about this at all. We did get some questions answered but not by him by his assistant which was fine because I didn't know that I should have contacted the insurance last month for the house to be transferred over into the trust. I mean, really, shouldn't that have been mentioned last week of things I need to do? I am new at this and he is not. I was not happy with the lawyer after finding that out. The utilities are fine because mom's house is in a trust right now. The house insurance will be transferred into her trust's name as soon as I fax the paperwork to them which will be tomorrow.
We have paperwork all over the table in the living room right now plus some in boxes and a couple of bags. Biggest question, where to begin with everything. Do we start with my bankruptcy stuff or with all mom's paperwork? I just don't exactly know. My head is swimming from everything that I waited forever to do and now have to do because I procrastinated way too long on. I mean really, some of this stuff could have been taken care of a while ago if I just would have done that, but I didn't. This summer I really got lazy on paperwork because I was so dealing with mom and all her issues that she had. I really should have done better with my time and now I am sorry for it. I am very sorry for that.
It has been a bit of a busy day since I had to open a bank account in my name, pick up medicine, go see the lawyer, and then go through more paperwork. I wish I could magically get rid of all of this and it would be done but hey, we don't live in Harry Potter's world now do we?
We were looking at pictures of Mom that we found in her top drawer today. There is even one of Mom in a bathing suit. I would have love to have seen her in one. I think I can count the number of times on 1 hand that I have seen her in a bathing suit as a child. We found pictures of her in one. She looked very cute. Some of the pictures were rather old but were fun to look at. The only sad part of the day was when the lady at the bank asked how Mom was doing. Now, most of the people of the bank know Mom died because they froze her account and many have said they were sorry. So, of course, I got teary eyed and she was upset because she didn't know. I know she didn't mean anything by it, it just made me sad to have to say Mom died last month.
More paperwork for tomorrow is on the agenda for us and then Thursday the lawyer's office again, hopefully with paperwork ready for me this time. I don't like wasting my time, I mean, he didn't come out to talk to us, his assistant did. What does that say to us? His time is more precious than ours? I mean, really come out and talk to me directly please to explain why I have to come out again and then answer my questions. I am paying you good money for all this.
Anyways, not a bad day, somewhat productive for a change. I hope your day has gone well too.
We have paperwork all over the table in the living room right now plus some in boxes and a couple of bags. Biggest question, where to begin with everything. Do we start with my bankruptcy stuff or with all mom's paperwork? I just don't exactly know. My head is swimming from everything that I waited forever to do and now have to do because I procrastinated way too long on. I mean really, some of this stuff could have been taken care of a while ago if I just would have done that, but I didn't. This summer I really got lazy on paperwork because I was so dealing with mom and all her issues that she had. I really should have done better with my time and now I am sorry for it. I am very sorry for that.
It has been a bit of a busy day since I had to open a bank account in my name, pick up medicine, go see the lawyer, and then go through more paperwork. I wish I could magically get rid of all of this and it would be done but hey, we don't live in Harry Potter's world now do we?
We were looking at pictures of Mom that we found in her top drawer today. There is even one of Mom in a bathing suit. I would have love to have seen her in one. I think I can count the number of times on 1 hand that I have seen her in a bathing suit as a child. We found pictures of her in one. She looked very cute. Some of the pictures were rather old but were fun to look at. The only sad part of the day was when the lady at the bank asked how Mom was doing. Now, most of the people of the bank know Mom died because they froze her account and many have said they were sorry. So, of course, I got teary eyed and she was upset because she didn't know. I know she didn't mean anything by it, it just made me sad to have to say Mom died last month.
More paperwork for tomorrow is on the agenda for us and then Thursday the lawyer's office again, hopefully with paperwork ready for me this time. I don't like wasting my time, I mean, he didn't come out to talk to us, his assistant did. What does that say to us? His time is more precious than ours? I mean, really come out and talk to me directly please to explain why I have to come out again and then answer my questions. I am paying you good money for all this.
Anyways, not a bad day, somewhat productive for a change. I hope your day has gone well too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)