saturday

I met up with Peggy today for lunch.  Boy, was it fun.  I had a really good time.  I am tired from it, but it was a good time.  I haven't seen her since the funeral.  I got up around 11:30 today and was a bit lazy while I waited for her call when she finished work.  She had to work this morning at her job.  She works in an office for a manufacturing plant.  Sounds like fun.  We were there for about 3 hours.  Yup, we sure were.

When I got home, I called Anne and talked to her a bit, that was fun too.  She and her boyfriend were making beef stew in a crock pot.  I am going to do that on Monday for dinner.  I have the kit and everything.  I love beef stew.  I also have a pork roast kit that I need to make too.  We will have that this week too since I will have company to feed.

I got a message from my friend, Missy, who warned me about playing the mind games about if I did this, would Mom still be alive type thing.  How did she know that IS exactly what my mind has been doing for the last couple of days.  If I got Mom out of the nursing home early would she still be alive, if she had not been in the hospital to recover from the UTI's would she still be alive.  Well, the truth is, is doesn't matter because my mom is in Heaven and all the wishing in the world is NOT going to bring her back to me.  Bottom line, she is in Heaven and she is healthy and happy and watching over me.  I miss her every minute of the day right now, but right now, I am alright and no trace of tears.  I had a good day and I am going to watch some TV tonight, Numbers, and try to enjoy myself.  I can watch whatever I want now so I am going to watch this show.  I have the entire season 6 to watch.  Anne loves this show too.  I had to stop watching it because it was on so late on Fridays, but also, it started scaring Mom and no show is worth Mom being scared.  She was scared enough, I didn't need TV to scare her too.  I am also going to scan some pictures of her tonight to or try to put the pictures we have on disc so that I can try to post them both on face book and on my blog so everyone can see what my little (and I mean little) Mom looked like.  I think she was simply gorgeous.  Of course, I am a bit biased, so bear with me on that.  She was the best mom ever.  I know, many of you say the same thing about your mom, but really, mine was the best!  He he he!  There was a time when we fought a lot as many moms and daughters do, but as adults we were more than just mother and daughter, we were best friends too.  We liked the same things, did the same activities, and simply enjoyed each others company.  It was a great friendship we had, I just wish my brothers had the same.  Yes, they simply adored Mom too, but they weren't as close friends as mom and I were.  Mom and I even went on vacations together.  I went on some with my friends, but I would come home and cry because something wouldn't be right or we got in a fight or something like that.  After the 3rd time I came home and cried (I was in my 20s), mom suggested I go with her.  Well, I did and we had a blast!  We had so much fun.  We giggled together, we talked and talked and talked.  We liked the same type things.  We were a lot alike in many ways.  I don't know if that is making it harder for me because we were such good pals, or if it would be just as hard anyways.  It doesn't matter, it is very hard.  I have new respect for people who have lost loved ones.  It is sheer hell, sheer hell.  Today, I am doing better though!  So I am taking it as I can.  Well, off to figure out some pictures!!!!!  Have a spectacular night!