Christmas Day

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a great time last night at the Knight's house.  I went with Kathy after church to her parents' house to open presents.  I brought the presents Richard sent me with me along with the gifts I had gotten the kids.  I got 2 new movies!  Ramona and Beezus and Beauty and the Beast!  Love Beauty and the Beast.  It is my favorite movie ever.  From the first moment I saw the movie I was in love with it.  I also got great gift cards that Kathy and I will have fun spending!  She is coming for the weekend in January!  I am so excited about that.  I got home just after 11 and read for a bit because as tired as I was I couldn't sleep.  Too much excitement I guess.  I finally went to sleep around 1 am.  I got up, got ready and went back to the Knight house for Christmas Dinner.  We had it early in the day so that the rest of the day would be laid back.  Kathy and family had to go to Tony's sister's house for a bit so I came home.  It has been a good Christmas.  I was afraid it would be really hard and while it is hard, I still enjoyed myself.  I cried a bit yesterday afternoon, but so far today I am only thinking of good memories of Momma and Christmas.  She made so much of the holiday.  She had us believing when we were young that Santa's elves came and decorated out house, inside and out.  I remember thinking why don't the elves come back to put everything away.  Mom liked to start the new year out with all the decorations down and the house nice and clean.  It is a Scottish tradition.  You start the new year out with a clean house, all grudges gone, and debt free.  Well, I almost have the debt free part!  I have  turned in all the bankruptcy stuff.  Clean house, well, probably not.  I don't like to take the stuff down until after the new year.  Momma and I definitely differed on that point.  Since I was in charge of Christmas the last few years we were home, I left it out until after New Year's Day.  She didn't seemed to mind.

I haven't talked to either one of my brothers yet.  I emailed Andrew because he doesn't answer his phone, he only texts.  I don't have texting.  It cost too much for me to get.  I just have a phone.  I am hoping to talk to Richard though before he goes on vacation.  I am excited he is finally going to Hawaii, even if they are only staying on Maui.  It is a beautiful island.  I gave him some tips on what to do and told him they have a person just for planning tours and everything.  I do hope they all have a good time.

It was nice to spend the last two days with Kathy and crew.  I have some pictures I need to upload onto face book.  There is even a picture of Kathy and I together.  She was like, I don't want my picture taken, but I asked her to so her Mom took the picture.  The dinner was wonderful.  I am so full.  I don't think I will need any dinner tonight.  I think that was it for me.

I also met her brother, Dan's wife, Tracy.  She is wonderful!  I really like her a lot.  She is from China and works as a software person.  I think she is so nice.  They girls seem to love her too which is really good.  She fits right into the Knight family well.  I am glad Kathy has a great sister-in-law.  She got really lucky in family because Tony's family is really nice too.  I am glad.  She deserves to have a good family.  I know I had a great Momma and that made me happy.  It was nice to think about some of the things Mom did and not cry.  I can smile sometimes when I think about her.  I bet she is having a great Christmas up in Heaven.  I mean, really, having Jesus' birthday party with the man himself?  I don't think anything would be cooler.  I feel her near me today too so that is good. 

I am not minding being alone in the house today like I was the other day.  I can hear my fish tank and enjoy the peace and quiet.  I am going to put one of my new movies in and watch it.  It has just been an enjoyable day. 

I do have a bit of a headache today, but it isn't too bad compared to the other day when it was really bad.  It is a bit worse than the usual chronic headache, but not too bad.  I took a pain pill and that should bring it down to normal.  I do hope you are having a great Christmas and enjoying it with family or friends or both!  I am glad I went to see Kathy and her family.  They make me feel like I am a part of the family and not an outsider.  It was a wonderful 2 days.

Christmas Eve

I had a rough night last night.  I haven't had too many, but last night was definitely one of them.  After having a really good day with Lily, it was a quiet evening but that was okay.  I made myself a nice dinner.  I had cooked turkey drumsticks in the crock pot.  They were really yummy.  I was okay until right before I went to bed.  All of a sudden I was crying and missing Momma.  I miss her all the time but this was worse than the usual missing of Mom.  My chest was sore too from missing her.  That happens to me sometimes.  My fibro flares up when I miss her a lot or am crying too much from missing her.  I thought I had calmed down enough to go to bed since it was bed time, but once I got back into bed, I cried hard again.  So then I came back downstairs because I knew I wouldn't sleep.  I turned the computer on to see who was on line.  I emailed my brother, who did email me back this morning, with the worst thing ever, I asked him what he does when he is missing Mom a lot.  He told me to go smoke a phat one.  That is not funny especially since I was seriously asking him.  I was not trying to be funny at all.  I was extremely upset and crying really hard, and that is his answer?  Yeah, I won't be bothering him anymore.  I emailed Kathy and that helped.  I tried to call Richard but he didn't answer.  He hasn't called me back either so he must not of listened to the message.  Then I remembered Delphine from the hospice place told me that I could write Mom a letter.  So I did and that helped me calm down enough to go to sleep.  By the time I finished I wasn't crying anymore and was completely exhausted and sore.  My whole body ached from that one.

I am spending today and tomorrow with Kathy so I won't be alone too much.  I had other places I could have gone, but I just didn't want to drive that far and I wanted to be with Kathy.  She is very sympathetic.  She just listens and then helps me calm down which is very helpful, she doesn't give useless answers either.  I will see her sometime today and she will call when she is in town because I don't know what time we are going to church tonight.  After church we are going to her parents house to open presents.  I have a few to wrap still.  I will do it before we go to church.  I am ready to go all I have to do is change pants and then I am ready for church.

It seems very weird to be having Christmas without Momma.  I have never had one without her but this year I am.  I have had Christmases away from my brothers so that doesn't seem weird, but never one without Mom.  I was always with her on this holiday.  It was weird not to buy her a present or finish the one I was making for her.  I have put it away.  I don't know if I will ever finish it or not, but I have it if I want to finish it.  It is in the family room somewhere.  I am trying to be strong this holiday and not break down too much.  I mean, Momma should be having the coolest and best holiday ever because she gets to celebrate Jesus' birthday with him.  Nothing better than that.  I will be with people who love me and whom I love so that is good too.  I hope to see my Uncle sometime this holiday season.  I am planning to call him today, I am not sure if he is home or not.  I will leave a message if he isn't.

I do hope you have a good Christmas and that it brings you joy and happiness too.

the day with Lily

Lily was here today.  She arrived at 10 am.  Yes, 10 am.  I was up.  I got up at 9:15 am to make sure I would be awake when she arrived.  The first thing she did was start decorating the gingerbread house.  It was fun watching her decorate it.  She took it home for her family and friends to enjoy.  Next she decorated  the cookies I baked for her.  I gave her a really big Santa mug for Christmas.  She loved it.  A few weeks ago she mentioned she wanted a big mug for Christmas so I went and got it for her.  After we finished with the gingerbread house and the cookies I was hungry.  It was just after 12 noon so we headed to Tim Horton's for lunch.  We went through the drive through.  Lily loves their mac and cheese so I got her that and a donut.  Unfortunately, they forgot the donut.  So after we ate our lunch we headed back Tim Horton's to get the donut.  They gave her two.  Lily was excited about that.  She ate 1/2 at my house and then took the rest home.

When we were done with that we decided to play some games.  So all afternoon we played games.  Julie, her mother, stopped by to pick her up but we were about to play the Pirates of the Carribbean Game of Life so Julie said she could stay later and I said I would take her home.  We played Uno, a new game I just got, it is actually the Winnie the Pooh version!  We also played Dr. Suess' Fun in a Box game.  It is a wonderful memory type game.  I no longer have a good memory so Lily won that won.  Then we played Monopoly, nobody won because we didn't get a chance to finish the game, it was getting late.  I took her home and then came home for dinner.  I had made turkey drumsticks for dinner, so that with mashed potatoes, and veggies completed my dinner.  I am trying not to eat frozen dinners or have take out too often.  I am trying to eat healthier and lose weight.  My weight has gotten out of control.  I am no longer keeping track of what I eat or using my food mover that works really well.  I am starting to use it again and eating better.  I want to lose some weight by spring.  I don't have a number in mind, but I need to be able to get into my jeans again.  I have the cutest jeans ever.  Right now they are too tight.  The jeans have matching hoodies too so they are very cute outfits.

I can't believe it is 2 days before Christmas.  Sometimes it seems like years away and other times right around the corner.  We are opening presents tomorrow night after church at Kathy's parents house.

Tomorrow I have to go and get some milk.  I am now almost out.  There won't be enough for Christmas morning breakfast/lunch.  I think that is all I need at the store.  I also have not had time to wrap gifts yet so I have to do that tomorrow before church.  I am not sure what service we are going to yet.  I would imagine one of the earlier ones.

I may have another new student starting January 3.  I am hopeful they will sign up and begin on the 3rd. That would mean 2 new students with the new company.  I can only wait and see.

Here are some pictures of Lily and the gingerbread house.

3 days until Christmas!

3 days until Christmas.  I am working on the gingerbread house tonight.  I won't decorate it until tomorrow when Lily will be here.  I will be up early for her tomorrow.  I am excited about her decorating the house.  She is very creative.  It will be interesting to see how she decorates the house.  I have to wrap her present too, it isn't done yet.  It will be before she gets here.  I am looking forward to spending some time for her.  I also will be wrapping Kathy's kids presents tomorrow too.

I spent the afternoon with Kimberly today.  We sat and chatted at Olga's for about 4 hours.  It was so fun.  I did enjoy myself.  I haven't seen her in a few years since she moved to Florida.  Her parents moved back to Michigan this past fall so she is up to spend Christmas with them.  We chatted about everything it seems.  I could have stayed longer but I had to get home for Alyssa's lesson.  She is doing really well with her lessons.  Her dad brought her today.  I think I met him years ago, but it has been so long.

It is hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.  I will see Kathy and family in 2 days!  I am thrilled about that.  I will see her both days.  I emailed Andrew and let him know I wasn't going to my Uncle's for the day.  I would just like to spend it here right now.  I hope to see Uncle John soon.  Kathy can't spend much time in town this year, so I would miss her if I don't spend both days with her.  I will also get to see Annie next week!  I can't wait.  I hope she would like to go to Kruse and Muir since I have 2 gift certificates for that restaurant.  I think that she likes that restaurant.  I think we have been there together before, but I can't remember for sure.  I will find out when she gets in town.  I haven't seen her since spring.  She wasn't able to come to town when Mom passed away, I didn't expect her too.  She sent her Mom to the viewing in her place.  It was awfully nice of her to do.  Momma really like Anne a lot.  We used to see her quite a bit when she would come into town.  I am looking forward to seeing her.

Other than students, I don't have to much planned for the week between Christmas and New Year's Day.  I will have students on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  I will be spending New Year's Eve at Heather B-T's and her family.

Fun day today and planning a fun day tomorrow!  I shall be busy for the next few days and I am looking forward to it.  I need to be busy!

I may have another new student when the new year begins!  I am praying for more.  So far so good, I hope it keeps up!  I love teaching so much.  It really brightens and makes my day when I have to teach.

I hope your day was as good as mine!

Tuesday

I dropped off the rest of the paperwork for the lawyer today!  yeah!  They will be typing out my petition and getting it ready!  I am actually nervous and excited at the same time.  It is something I never thought I would have to do, but I see no alternative.  I looked and looked for one, but I just don't see it.  I have two lessons this evening so I am really happy about that.  Both are good students who work hard.

I am awfully tired today as I don't feel like I have really slept in days, I know I have, but it doesn't feel that way.  I may go take a nap for a bit.  I have a bit more of a headache again, i think I am going to have to see the Dr on it and I don't really have the money.  With things as tight as they are, I have to be careful about going to the doctor because my insurance doesn't cover office visits.  So yeah, that is kind of bad, not too mention I owe oodles of money to him.  Glad that he lets me see him despite how much I owe him.  I seem to owe every doctor I have.  I am hoping to be able to start really paying down the balances in February when the medicare kicks in.  That will help a lot.  Until then, I will just be careful.

I just got up from a wee nap.  I was so tired and cold.  I have been so cold this winter and it has just begun. I am not looking forward to January and February if this is any indication of what the rest of winter will be like.  I have a Christmas sweatshirt on and my Tinkerbell Fleece hoodie.  I am almost warm.  I think I will need to make me a tea too.  This is just crazy.  It was Momma who was always this cold, not me.  What is this all about?

I emailed Andrew to let him know I won't be at my Uncle's for Christmas Day.  He wanted me to go there but I am going to stay in town and go to Kathy's parents with her and her family.  I expect it will be a good day.  We aren't having very good weather and I don't want to drive that far in the dark with this cold of weather.  I would rather go a different day and see them.  I don't know when that will be, but I do see them frequently, but I don't see Kathy very often.  She lives far from me.  (okay, it is a 2 1/2 hour drive, but still!)

Not much going on right now.  Just waiting for my student to arrive.  He is going to be a bit late today, Dad got off work late, no problem.  Charlie's lesson normally starts about 45 minutes after his ends anyways so no big deal.

I keep meaning to make a new Christmas CD for me.  There are several songs on the regular CDs I listen to that I want to compile on a different CD.  I want to make a greatest hits type thing with the CDs that I have.  I know I have more, but I can't find them.  I don't know what happened to all my CDs.  I know they are in the family room somewhere, but where, that is another question.

I ordered a new welcome mat for the front door.  There will be two now.  1 for wiping of shoes and the other for putting shoes on.  We moved all the rugs from the doors and instead of keeping them, they got donated so I am out of any.  I hope the new mat works like the rugs did.  If not, I know where to order a new rug.  Target has a rug like thing like we had, it is really pretty too, but the bigger one that I would want is a bit expensive so that is why I am trying the mat I am trying.  That should be okay.  I also am going to look in the fabric store for some fabric to be like a rug type mat.  They have lots of stuff, so I should be able to find something.  It is annoying to get your shoes on and step in wet.  It is only a problem during the winter or rainy days.  Other than that it isn't an issue.  I am nervous about donating anything because since we have donated stuff, I have needed some of the stuff we donated.  I hope I will be very careful with what I donate from now on and of course, I will know what is being donated, that is half the battle.

Well, my student should be here any moment now, I hope you are having a good day.  My head feels better after the nap so that is good.

new website

Here is a link for some interesting website for information about Fibro:

 http://www.mastersinhealthcare.com/blog/2010/50-great-blogs-for-fibromyalgia-support/ 

busy Monday!

I had 5 lessons today.  I am so glad that I did, it makes the day fun and pass fast.  I started off the day by going to the post office.  After standing in line for a few minutes, I thought, wait!  they have automatic posting, so I hurried over to the empty automatic post atm.  I got my postage for Richard's family quick and painless.  Last week when I waited in line, my hips were so sore that I had to come home and lay down for a bit.  I just don't stand long well and it was a long line.  My fault entirely since I waited until the last minute do this.

Aggie had a makeup lesson today since she was in town yet for her lesson on Saturday.  She will have her lessons on Monday again next week too, because of Christmas being on Saturday, the day of her regularly scheduled lesson.  Bob, Calli, and Acer all had their regularly scheduled lessons.  Calli has decided to continue with voice lessons as she says she likes them.  She wasn't sure at first which is understandable, so her Mom suggested she try until Christmas and then decide if she wanted to continue.  She has made her decision.  She works really hard, both at piano and voice.  She is such a hard worker that is so fun to teach.  Her brother is fun too.  Actually, I would have to say all my students are fun to teach.  I enjoy all the lessons.  Yeah!  Just talked to Rachel and Rebecca's Mom, they will have lessons next week.  Thank goodness for that.  Pretty much all my students are having lessons during vacations.  I am so glad.  I look forward to them so much.  Teaching definitely gets me up in the morning.

I can't believe it is 5 days until Christmas.  It is a day I dread, yet a day I am excited about it.  I will be spending it with Kathy and her family.  It is official now.  We will go to church on Friday and then back to her parents house to open presents.  I will open my presents there too.  Then I will come home to sleep and then wake up on Christmas and go back over to her parents house for dinner.  I am so looking forward to this.  I haven't seen Kathy since Thanksgiving.  She wasn't able to come for a visit this month so she is coming next month either the 2nd or the 4th weekend of the month.  I am excited about that too.  I have plans for us!

It has been a good day with all the lessons, I had one sad moment right before Aggie arrived, but she was like, it is okay, let it out.  I cried for a few minutes more and then I was fine for the rest of the day.

I copied the rest of the papers and will be turning them in at 1 pm to the lawyer's office tomorrow.  I am excited about that.  It should be everything now.  No more paperwork, that I know of.  I hope everything is taken care by the end of the year with this.

I have some laundry to put away this week.  My goal to have the laundry up to date is not quite going well.  I have kept up on dirty laundry, however the putting away of such laundry, well, not so much.  I am going to take Mom's clothes that are also hanging up downstairs and put them away in a bag for donations.  I have some hoodies that she never wore that are going to Phoebe, and the rest will be donated.  I plan to go through the house in the new year and see what rooms need what done to them.  After I do that, I will plan my attack on the rooms.  I am starting with Mom's room because mostly her room just needs emptying of the clothes that are in boxes and in the closet.  I need to wash the blankets and sheets too, and then put away what I want from her stuff in my room and donate the rest of her stuff to Salvation Army.  Her room will become another guest room unless someone moves in, then it becomes their room.  It is the master bedroom and has a bathroom attached to it.  I like the room I am in, so I don't want to move into hers.  I could, but I don't want to, like I said, I like my room.  I am hoping that I will have the house in order by spring/summer time.  I want the house ready should Richard and family decide to come for a visit.  I have enough room for all of them if they come.  I, of course, am hoping to see Richard sometime this summer.  I haven't seen the kids since July of 2008 when Mom and I flew out to see them for 5 days.  It was a great time.  Abigail did not want us to go home.  She cried all night and all the next day.  I felt so bad for her.  I simply adore them.  Abigail and William are wonderful children, but it seems every time I see them, I have to reintroduce myself to them.  I hope they remember me a bit better from the last visit this time.

I hope your day has gone well and that you are doing well and not getting sick before Christmas.  Several of my friends are ill with colds, and such right now, I hope everyone is pretty healthy, or as healthy as they can be for Christmas.

Sunday before Christmas

I went to Windsor today for a family dinner.  It was fun.  I got a new bath towel and a picture type frame for my Disney Characters.  I got a new toothbrush too.  It is purple.  I left early so that I could be home before dark.  I got home right before the sunset.  I was glad because it is so cold out the roads turn to ice quickly.  I try not to go out at night when it is this cold.  I don't want to get in an accident.  I don't particularly like driving in the dark in the winter because of the black ice on the road.  I know there is black ice during the day too, but it is usually warmer during the day.

Wilbert was there too.  It was the first time I have seen him in a while.  He seemed to enjoy himself there.  A lot of my cousins on Tillie and Wilbert's side were there.  Uncle John, Michelle, and Jayson were there too.

I have a busy day tomorrow.  I have to mail Richard's family's presents.  I also want to make the chocolate. I have everything ready for it.  I got gift certificates for Richard and family.  I just have to wrap them.  I also have to copy those papers so that I can drop them off Tuesday.  I do not want to wait anything longer. I need this taken care of.

I am pretty tired today.  I hope you had a good day.

Hanging out with a friend!

What started off as a bad morning, ended as a good day.  I woke up to a dream that was so real I could almost feel Mom.  I dreamed that I was chasing Momma to give her a hug, and when I caught her I gave her one.  Then I woke up.  Strangely, I could actually feel her small body in a hug when I woke.  I sleep holding a pillow in front of me for my arm because otherwise it pulls on my back and for a moment that pillow was Momma.  Of course, after I woke up I cried, then my friend, Donna called and wanted to know if I wanted to get together with her.  Well, yeah!  Especially as I had nothing planned for the day.  So we met at Tim Horton's for lunch and stayed there for about 2 hours.  We just sat and chatted away, made my sadness disappear.  Today, Momma has been gone 2 months.  I feel much stronger than I did 2 months ago and in my dream Momma was healthy.  Donna said it was Momma's way of letting me know she is with me and that she is fine.  She is healthy and happy and wants me too.  You see, Momma and I would play a game with hugs, we would be like no, you can't hug me and run from the other until the person caught the other.  We did this when I was small and when she started to get sick.  It made her smile and laugh.  She looked so pretty when she smiled and laughed.

After we left Tim Horton's we went to Walmart to pick up a few things.  I needed to get some gift cards for Richard and family and she needed eggs for baking.  I also picked up a new calendar for 2011 as I didn't have one yet.  I got this Algae stuff for the fish tank, it is supposed to keep the water clear.  We shall see if it works.  I hope so!  Cat and Dog (the two fish) need a nice and clear tank.  I love my little fish.  I think Lily does too.  She likes to feed them.  Donna and I tooled around Walmart looking at everything.  She rides in a wheel chair and I ride in a scooter, so I am sure we looked like a train going through the store.  I also got Kathy a treat, which I can't say what it is as she reads this and that would blow the secret.  But trust me, it is something she will love.  I have to wrap presents this week.  I finally have some paper.  I gave Donna her present and she loved it.  I got her and her Granddaughter, Sam, Santa Mugs.  They are huge and wonderfully cute looking.  She loved it.  She gave me a new Winnie the Pooh Bear!  We all know how much I love that one!  But the biggest surprise of the day?  A nice lady at Tim Horton's, I think she is the aunt of the owner, gave me two, yes two, snowmen, handmade!  They are about 18 inches tall and they are so adorable.  I was stunned to say the least.  She and her craft club made them.  She said it was to cheer me up a bit.  Well, I am cheered!  She too, is having a rough year because her husband passed three years ago and for some reason she says this year is rougher than the last two.  I only see her when I am at the restaurant, but what a wonderful thing to do for me!  I am going to be taking pictures of them tonight.  They are going on the second piano, one at each end of the top.  I am moving the CDs and music that is on the piano to the other piano bench and they will look so cute with the CD player in the middle.  I am so floored that she made them for me.

All in all, I would have to say it has been a good day.  Started off a bit shaky, but ended well.  I am pretty tired now that I am home and finished dinner.  Speaking of sleeping, the new pain medicine is helping me sleep a bit better, I think.  I don't wake up as often as I did on the darvocet so I guess that is a great thing!  Better sleep for me.  I have even been awake enough to get up by 9:30 some mornings.  Now that is unusual for me as I don't generally get up until about 11 or noon.  So the new medicine is better.

My headache is getting better too.  It is almost back to the normal headache.  As long as it goes back to the normal headache I am fine.  I know there isn't anything they can do about the chronic daily headache.  I stopped going to doctors for it when the last 2 specialists said they could only help the bad ones, well they didn't help those and nothing seems to help the chronic one, but I am used to it now.  It has been 6 years.

I am going to make some chocolate tonight for William and Abigail to put in their Christmas box on Monday.  I have to wrap a few presents tonight or tomorrow too.  I also need to copy those papers.  I am going to Windsor for lunch tomorrow, but plan to be home before dark.  I plan to leave at 3 pm so that gives me plenty of time to be home before the dark.  With the cold weather, I don't want to drive with icy roads and that is what would happen when you drive in the dark around here.  When it is this cold I try to keep my nighttime driving to a minimum.  Safer for all that way.

Friday

I had lunch with my friend, Becky today.  I found out yesterday that she is a big fan of John Wayne.  Well, I had one of mom's plates that I was going to donate and it was of John Wayne.  Mom simply loved him.  She was a big fan.  So, once I found out that Becky was a fan, I immediately messaged her and asked if she was interested in it.  She said yes.  She has one plate so we were both a bit nervous that it would be a duplicate, but it wasn't!  She doesn't have this one.  We met at Big Boy's near my house and her lovely niece, Paige, was with her.  Paige was going shopping with Becky today.  We had a good time the three of us.  Becky is going to bring me some games for my Nintendo DS Lite.  I love it, but lately I haven't used it because I spend way too much time on face book.  I am working on that.  I waste a lot of time with Face book.  I don't play the games, but I can still spend a lot of time in it.

My headache is a bit better today.  It is not as bad as yesterday, so I think it peaked yesterday.  I am hoping so, otherwise, on Monday I will need to make a doctor appointment.  I don't really want to go to the doctor because of this.  I would rather it take care of itself, although at times it needs a boost.  We just switched my pain pills so that could have something to do it.  They don't seem as strong as darvocet was.  I shall see how the weekend goes.  I have to days to rest and relax.  Kathy, unfortunately, can't come after all.  I am disappointed on that, but I totally understand why she can't come.  So on Sunday, I am heading to Tillie's for lunch.  My uncle, his girlfriend, and their son will be there too along with other cousins unless my head is really bad and then I will stay home.

I talked to Richard today.  The leave the day after Christmas for Maui.  They should have a good time.  I gave him some tips on places to see and go because I was there about 6 to 7 years ago.  I went for a writing conference.  I went a few days early so that I could see a bit of Maui.  I mentioned the snorkeling in the volcano, that was so cool.  I really enjoyed that.  I also told him about the bike ride down the mountain.  I didn't get to do that because I just didn't have time.  He asked about beaches, I told him they don't really have white sand beaches like they are used to because of the volcano lava.  Their beaches are actually black sand.  There was one white sand beach in the town near where they are staying.  I do hope they have a good time even though I really wanted to see them.  He said he would send for me in the summer when the weather is better.  Right now it just rains all the time in Seattle.  I have gone before in the summer and it is beautiful weather.  We shall see if I get to go.  All depends on money, like everything else.

I have to get some gift certificates for his family and then I can officially say I am done with getting presents.  I thought I was done, but since I am not shipping the instruments, I need to get them something else.  I know what I am getting them and will mail the package out on Monday so it will arrive in time for Christmas.

I have the rest of the paperwork needed for the bankruptcy.  I got the info that I thought would be so hard to get.  It wasn't.  It was a piece of cake.  Now I just have to copy the rest of the papers, get up early on Monday and turn then it.  Then I will be done, nothing left to do for that except wait for the attorney to let me know the next step.  I can't wait.  This has been hanging over my head since I lost the store.  So much has changed since August of 2008.  At that point, I was running my music store, taking care of mom, teaching lots of lessons, and now, outside of the lessons, I don't have any of it.  I miss how busy the store was before that summer.  I miss the regular customers, I don't miss the headaches and problems we had,  but I miss being busy all day.  Momma loved the store too.  It did turn out better for us that we didn't have the store as Momma got worse with her disease, but I know we both missed it.  I was able to take very good care of her and I don't know if I could have done that with the store.  I don't teach as many lessons, but I do still teach some.  I have a new one starting in January, that I am excited about.  I do hope that by spring, I will have many more.  I need about 9 more for the new company or 7 more for regular students.  Either way, I need more students for several reasons.  1 for having something fun and meaningful to do and 2 for supplementing my disability.  I am hopeful that God will provide and I try not to worry about it.

Marineland.  It was a great trip.  Momma and I had a great time with their family.  I just wish I had a picture of Momma and the girls.  I finally have a picture of Lily and me.  Her teacher took it when I went to her school for special friends/grandparents day.  We had a great time together.  It will be a great memory for me.

Anyways, this is getting quite long.  I do hope you had a good day.  I had a fun time with Becky and a productive afternoon getting paperwork.  I feel good about what I did today.  I will monitor my headache to see if I need to see the doctor.  I hope you have a wonderful evening!

bad headache day

I have a really bad headache today.  Nothing seems to touch it.  I have had it for 3 days, although today is definitely worse than the other days this week.  I think I am in a flare and stressing out.  This bankruptcy thing has me stressed, although I did find out about the thing that was stressing me.  I am going to take care of that tomorrow and copy the rest of the stuff that needs to be copied.  I shall drop it off and then everything will be in and I will be relieved when it is all taken care of.  I am right on schedule with that stuff, the one I created for myself.  I am just stressing I think over the whole issue because I should have taken care of it when Mom was here and I didn't.  I let my stuff taken a seat back because she needed my attention and when I had time (believe me I had time) I was lazy.  I didn't do a thing when I should have been organizing paperwork and copying paperwork.  I think she would be very disappointed I let stuff slide.  I won't let that happen anymore.  I will be taking care of stuff when it happens from now on.  I have to call the lawyer to find out exactly what I owe, they have me done as paying something I don't remember paying, but hey, you never know!


I don't have much to do today except for the copying of papers.  I think I am going to try to lay down and see if this headache will lessen.  Maybe I will be able to function enough to copy the papers, right now, not happening as I don't think I could concentrate enough on copying the right ones.


I have a boring weekend ahead.  I do hope I have a lesson on Saturday, I really need the distraction and the enjoyment I get from them.  Right now I am bored and that is when the sadness hits the most.  Memories of what I should or shouldn't have done with Mom start to go through my head.  My head starts playing those what if games and I am trying not to do that.  I know that is normal, but I would rather not have to deal with that and only think of good times of Mom.  The grief counselor warned me about this part and I am trying not to do it.


I do hope your day is much better and more eventful (good ones, not bad) than mine.  It is sunny here at least and not as cold as it was.