Thursday, December 16, 2010

bad headache day

I have a really bad headache today.  Nothing seems to touch it.  I have had it for 3 days, although today is definitely worse than the other days this week.  I think I am in a flare and stressing out.  This bankruptcy thing has me stressed, although I did find out about the thing that was stressing me.  I am going to take care of that tomorrow and copy the rest of the stuff that needs to be copied.  I shall drop it off and then everything will be in and I will be relieved when it is all taken care of.  I am right on schedule with that stuff, the one I created for myself.  I am just stressing I think over the whole issue because I should have taken care of it when Mom was here and I didn't.  I let my stuff taken a seat back because she needed my attention and when I had time (believe me I had time) I was lazy.  I didn't do a thing when I should have been organizing paperwork and copying paperwork.  I think she would be very disappointed I let stuff slide.  I won't let that happen anymore.  I will be taking care of stuff when it happens from now on.  I have to call the lawyer to find out exactly what I owe, they have me done as paying something I don't remember paying, but hey, you never know!

I don't have much to do today except for the copying of papers.  I think I am going to try to lay down and see if this headache will lessen.  Maybe I will be able to function enough to copy the papers, right now, not happening as I don't think I could concentrate enough on copying the right ones.

I have a boring weekend ahead.  I do hope I have a lesson on Saturday, I really need the distraction and the enjoyment I get from them.  Right now I am bored and that is when the sadness hits the most.  Memories of what I should or shouldn't have done with Mom start to go through my head.  My head starts playing those what if games and I am trying not to do that.  I know that is normal, but I would rather not have to deal with that and only think of good times of Mom.  The grief counselor warned me about this part and I am trying not to do it.

I do hope your day is much better and more eventful (good ones, not bad) than mine.  It is sunny here at least and not as cold as it was.


  1. great i am now out of school so we can start making arrangements to get together and paint and exchange gifts. and CLEAN YOUR KITCHEN!

  2. Feel better soon:) We have snow and ice but I was happy to be able to stay in.

  3. Heather it almost sounds as if your stress is not helping the headache..if they continue please see the doctor for them..there is probably something you can take to try to help:)

    I think it's normal to have the 'what if's'. I have them all the time...what if this..what if that...I have to remind myself that we do what is right at that moment, sometimes it does not always seem like the right thing later, but it is what it concentrated for a long time on your mom, now you have to learn to do for takes time but you are doing so very well, you don't realize it but I see it.

    Hope you feel better, take care of YOU.


  4. Being down is normal, and when you are down it is easy to beat up on yourself, and that is what you are doing.

    Taking care of your Mom probably took more out of you than you were aware. You were happy to do it, nonetheless, it was stressful and took away from you emotionally and physically - that is also normal. It would be hard not to let things go by. With every thing you get done pat yourself on the back and feel good about it. You are still carrying a heavy load - you are to be commended for getting out of bed and putting your feet on the floor.
    If this headache continues please contact your doctor - he should know.