saturday - a better day

Today is a much better day for us than the last couple.  Mom finally got up (she was awake but didn't want to move, much to my begging her too) and we got ready just in time for Aggie's lesson at noon.  We were starting to go over her Broadway music when I realized we needed to start Christmas music.  Since she won't be home until the first week of November, we had to get started today.  She picked out both her pieces.  One is a take on First Noel with Pachebel's Canon in D and the other has completely escaped my mind.  Yes, I do remember, Ding Dong Merrily on High.  How can I forget????  Not good!  My other angels will be starting their music rather shortly.  With the beginners, you don't have to start as early as the more advanced students as their music is much shorter that the advanced students.  Calli will be starting her vocal Christmas music this week or next depending on what she would like to do.  She has 2 songs already and will be beginning 2 more pieces for Christmas.  She is such a doll.  Acer will be beginning his after Halloween.  He is so talented that to begin now, he will be bored.  As it is, he will know his sister's music by Christmas too.  I have to break the news to the young man that Frank has taken a break from lessons so he will not be accompanying him on the drums at Christmas.  Maybe he can with Bob or Charlie.  He will be disappointed as am I, but Frank is just overwhelmed with school and marching band right now that he hasn't played the piano in a month.  That is just not Frank.

Tomorrow Maggie is coming over for fun, not for book club (since it isn't book club week).  I am excited about that.  Mom's friend, Jose, is supposed to visit this weekend too.  I am not sure when, but that is okay, we will be home pretty much all weekend long.  Mom is sitting at the dining room table with me and has been for about 3 hours now.  This is the longest she has sat here in a week.  Definitely a better day for the little lady.  She is playing with her favorite toys, the tissue and tissue box.  She folds and unfolds and then refolds the tissues over and over again.  hey, it is a cheap toy that keeps her entertained for hours!  What can go wrong?  She has had a few sips of Ensure and 1/4 of a boost pudding so I am happy about that.  I guess I can't expect more from her because she just can't give it to me.

I tried to call Andrew today but he is either not home or not answering his phone.  He does this a lot.  He changed his email and I don't know what it is now.  I don't know if he got my message from face book or not since he didn't answer it.  Both brothers are horrible about answering stuff.  I have just learned to accept it.  I just talked to Andrew, he gave me his new email address and I sent him an update.  I hope it doesn't shock him.  It can be rather shocking to realize that mom is very close to death.

I also wanted to thank Missy S.  She wrote a post a few days ago about her Grandfather and his experience with Alzheimer's.  It made me feel good to know that others have gone through this too.  It is one horrible disease, although I can't say I know of any good disease in this world.  It was a very touching post about his last days.

Anyways, I hope this finds you doing well and having a great day!  It is so beautiful out here, we were out for a brief period going to and from the car!  Mom didn't even complain she was cold so she must have been warm enough for a change!  We have the front door open to let the sunshine in!  Happy Saturday to you!!

great news!

I know I already posted for the day, however, I just got some great news!  My uncle Ken is coming to see Mom.  I messaged my cousin, Audrey a week or so ago, not knowing my Uncle would be in town, letting him know the condition Mom is in.  She told him all about Mom and the up to date info on Mom.  Well, she let me know she told him and a few days later he said he wanted to see Mom.  I am very excited about this because we haven't seen him in years.  I mean, he lives really far away from us in the British Columbia near Vancouver somewhere.  I am not even sure where.  So it is great he wants to come.  Mom was excited when I told her.  No, I don't expect her to remember, but it is nice she is excited when I told her.

busy day for the little Mom

Today is an unusual day for us as we will have 3 different visitors, all for mom.  First the nurse will be here.  I don't think there is an residual effects of yesterdays tumble, but she is getting checked just in case.  Also, they need to look at her sores on her tailbone.  Poor thing.  That has got to hurt.  They are coming with a plan of action for her.  Also, today is bath day so Mom will have her bath as usual.  She is still sleeping right now.  She was awake earlier today, but has since fallen back asleep.  I am certainly not going to wake her unless absolutely necessary and it isn't right now.  Then between 3 and 5, the foot doctor will be here to trim the toes and look at a bump on one of them.  I don't think it hurts her, but who knows at this point because she doesn't always know when she is in pain.  Sometimes she doesn't know until someone touches it.  I can hear her from in her, sounds like she might be getting a cold.  Oops, just a minute she is awake now.  She doesn't want to get up yet.  I am waiting for the nurse before I get her up.  The home health care aide will be here in an hour.  I just changed the angle of the bed for her.  She will probably go back to sleep.  She hasn't been very ambitious lately in wanting to get up and get going anywhere.  Sucks for me, since I don't like being stuck in the house, but hey, what can I do?  I have to do what is right for her right now.

I could fall asleep right now again too.  Maybe I will go into the living room and sleep for a bit.  I am so tired this morning too.  We got our flu shots yesterday and my nose is a bit stuffy today.  I don't think from the shot, it's the weather, as I get this frequently all winter long especially when it gets colder and then warmer like it has the last few days.  I am also very cold this morning in our house and it isn't cold!  I mean temperature wise it is 73 degrees, yet I am freezing.  Not good signs.  I will take something to see if I can head off a cold, I certainly don't want or need one and neither does Mom.

I will be fixing a pair of jeans today, I think.  I have had them for a few weeks to fix and just haven't gotten to them yet.  Mostly it is because I totally forget about them.  yeah, not good.  I will have them done by the weekend.  It isn't like I can deliver them right now anyway.  Today is too busy for us to plan on going anywhere.  i don't even know if my machine will sew through the jean material, but I will try.  

Not much planned for the weekend.  Right now we don't do a whole lot because Mom is really weak and getting weaker by the day.  She drinks on average now, 1/2 to a full Ensure a day and that is not enough for a body to live on very long.  I have been meaning to ask how long she can survive on this little bit, but I forget when the nurse is here working with her.

Time to give Mom her medicine and she if she is ready to get up.  I hope you are having a great day!

Sleepy Thursday

I had the follow up appointment with the doctor about the Urinary Tract Infection.  I am infection free again.  I was supposed to have a volunteer from Hospice come and stay with Mom but they never showed up so I had to take Mom with me.  Most of it was fine, except as we left the doctor's office she almost fell.  A nice patient brought the wheelchair for her so I could wheel her to the car.  Then she wouldn't get into the car.  Nope, not one bit was she getting into the car.  Every so often she does this to me.  I don't know why, but she does.  So what did I do?  I pretty much pushed her butt on the seat and moved her legs over so she would be sitting in the car.  She hollered oh oh oh the entire time, but I got her in so we could go home.  She doesn't understand that there are times you have to get into a car, no matter if you want to or not.  We then went to the drive through of Panera on our way home and I got me a nice soup and salad for lunch, as I was starving.  I got her out of the car without any problem until we got to the stairs to get into the house.  There, we had a bit of a problem.  She fell.  This time she didn't just wobble, she actually fell.  I don't think she actually hurt herself except maybe the wrist I was holding, but she landed with a thud on her bottom on the cement porch.  I called the nurse to let her know Mom fell.  She said to ice the wrist and she would see Mom tomorrow between 12 and 1pm.  That works really well.  I will get up at 11:30 and then get Mom up so we will be ready.

Not too much happening today now.  I fell asleep for 3 hours after the doctor's appointment.  I am just so exhausted these days.  Staying awake in the afternoon is becoming very difficult for me.  I did sleep better last night.  Unfortunately, I broke the chain that was at the top of the door.  Oops.  I will just bring the gate and close it off from Mom, this way she can't get through even if she wanted to.  She hasn't tried to get out of her bed at all which is good.  I will put it right near the door so if the door is open, it will crash into the gate, waking me up.  I also leave a light on for Mom so she isn't in complete darkness.  She gets very afraid of the dark now just like a child does.  I know when I went into bed I felt much better about leaving her downstairs than I had earlier in the week.  When I checked her tailbone this morning, it wasn't bleeding like it did yesterday when I got her up, so I did do the right thing by leaving her in the bed.  She was pretty much in there all day yesterday.  She just didn't want to get up.  today I have her sitting on the sofa.  I will bring her in here with me in a little bit.  I like her to sit with me for a time in the evening so she can watch some TV if she wants.  She doesn't have too, but if she wants to she can.  There is no TV in the living room, nor do I want one in there.  I have had it offered before to move the TV, but I don't want it moved.  Plain and simple.  I just want it in the kitchen where it is.  I like to work on the computer while I watch TV.  I am almost always doing something with my hands while I watch TV otherwise they go crazy.

I emailed the update to Richard yesterday.  I am still slightly miffed at him over his comments about what I will do when Mom is gone.  No one is more aware than me that I will not have a home after Mom goes.  No, I don't know what I will do.  I get disability and teach about 6 lessons a week (3 are scholarship) and that doesn't come to a lot.  I am more than aware that my monthly expenses for an apartment will quickly out do my monthly income.  I have thought and prayed about it.  I don't know how it will work out, but somehow it always does.  I had thought of getting a roommate or two, which would help us keep the house going.  I will look into my options at that time because you can't until you are there.  So I am up for suggestions, but right now my main focus has to be on Mom.  Bottom line, she needs me to be working with her everyday.  She needs my attention especially getting up and going to bed.  During the day, she doesn't need me as much unless she is going to walk somewhere but I do have to remind her to drink her Ensure.  That is my main concern right now.

I hope you are having a great day and are enjoying this beautiful fall weather!

oopsie!

So, I took Mom upstairs to her bedroom to sleep last night.  I still didn't get enough sleep.  I think I was awake until about 5 am.  That wasn't the best idea because the pressure sores were bleeding this morning, something they haven't really done on the air bed.  Mom is laying down right now on it, sleeping.  She is very exhausted today.  I think because yesterday was such a good day and I had her do too much this early afternoon.  Oops!  I won't do that again that is for sure.  I am almost ready for my nap too.  This sleep pattern has got to improve, it really sucks right now.  I am so tired but I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time until about 5 am.  Bad nightmares go through my head at times.  We live in a safe neighborhood and there hasn't been a house break in in years, yet, I have been having nightmares about it that I can't sleep between the hours 2 am to 5 am.  It really stinks.  This has been happening since last week when Mom first slept downstairs.  I mean really, if an intruder tried to get into our house, he/she would trip on all the stuff we got near the doors.  I blocked the garage door with our recycle bins (they can be moved in case of an emergency real easy) and the back door is blocked too.  The front door has an extra chain on it so Mom doesn't go out.  This is really getting out of hand on me.

Not too much going on today.  Mom had her bath, and like I said, is now resting in the hospital bed.  I am heading in there soon.  I don't have any lessons on Wednesday unless it is a makeup so it makes for a dull day.  I paid a few bills yesterday so that is now taken care of, thank goodness.  I put a load of laundry in.  Naturally I wait until I am on my last pair of clean undies before I do a load.  Can't stay ahead can I?  Actually, ever since Calli helped me carry all the dirty laundry downstairs and Tillie helped me do it all, I have managed to stay on top of it.  I was just tired this week so I didn't do it until today.  I will put another load in after this one is empty and then i will be up to date.

This month is Meet the Blind month.  Let me tell you, I know two children, who happen to be blind, that are absolutely amazing and they will be anything they want to be.  They are fearless, and adventurous, and simply wonderful.  I can't go on and on enough of how awesome these two children are.  To me, they are simply remarkable and they have such wonderful parents.  Basically, the parents every child should have.  They type that instill good self esteem and values while encouraging the children to do what they want and not hold back.  I wish I was more like them, but I am timid in new situations and I get scared very easily at times.  They are teaching me so much more than I can express.  Teaching them piano and voice is such a fun time for us.  They are both so musically talented and excited about learning in general.  All my students simply will love them, and the ones that do know them, already love them.  One of my older girls, Katie, can't wait to meet them.  She is trying to figure out how she can meet them before the Christmas Concert.  I have the most amazing students.  I simply love them all.  I just wish I had more of them.

tuesday a better day

It is definitely a better day today.  Mom finished one ensure at lunch/breakfast and is working on the 2nd one.  She so needs the protein.  I wish there was a protein pill because I would so give it to her.  It would heal her pressure sores in an instant.  She hasn't had them last this long ever.  it is going on 3 weeks now.  I know it is the protein that heals them.  The nurse is looking at what else to do for her.  I don't know that there really is anything to do for her.  The nurse is not really happy about the bed situation.  She likes Mom sleeping on the special hospital bed, but not that I am so far away from her and she is close to the door.  I don't think Mom can get over the rails and she sleeps in one position all night long but still there is that small chance she would figure out the door and go out it.  Tonight I am going to try to take her upstairs to bed.  This way I can gate her in.  If she can't, then I will put her in the living room.  She should be strong enough tonight for it as she is having a really good day.  The past few days have been very hard on her, she was so weak, I don't know why.  She couldn't walk, she couldn't eat, she couldn't do anything.  Now she is her normal, well, somewhat normal, self.

If she stays like this we can go to my cousin's for the Canadian Thanksgiving and to my Uncle's in a couple of weeks.  How cool would that be?  I will be bringing the food thickener though with me.

Mom is also getting to the point of pureed food.  Doesn't sound that tasty to me, but if that is what I need to do, I will.  My friend, Jen, told me how to do it.  She used to make it for her kids when they were small.  I have to find our blender/food processor, as I haven't seen it in a few years.  I think it is over the fridge in a cabinet there.  Dumb place for a cabinet, let me tell you.  No one can reach up there.

The pelvic pain is slowly going away, thank God for that!  I was able to sleep a bit better last night for a change, and hope to again tonight, especially since I am moving Mom back upstairs tonight.  I will sleep much better with her up those stairs in the room next to me.  I have a bit of more of a headache than usual, but who knows why.

I meant to bring out one of my Christmas crafts, but I always say, in a minute, and that minute hasn't come yet.  I do hope to start something this week.  I also have a pair of jeans to fix for my friend, and a skirt to finish for Natalie.  The procrastinator in me!  Not good.  I have been taking naps in the afternoon because I have been extra tired lately.  I am not sure why except maybe less sleep at night.  I don't know.  We are hanging in here at this house.  I am hoping to see Richard soon, but he hasn't mentioned coming to see us since summer.  I am afraid because he is waiting, it may get to be too late but, when you are working contract work because there is no full time job, you have to take the work when you get it.  So I do understand, it is just that Alzheimer's doesn't understand and is robbing Mom more and more of herself everyday.

I do hope you are enjoying fall.  We are, this weather is so much nicer than the hot summer.  It really is for me.  I am not looking forward to snow though, that I can skip except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

lots of lessons day!

I had 4 lessons today, all piano.  We have officially started with Christmas music.  We had to start with the girls because they only have lessons once a month, so we can't wait until November when the concert is in December.  Hannah and Natalie are playing regular sheet music now, instead of easy piano.  They have moved up into the world!  Natalie was a little nervous I think with her one piece because it's a lot of notes to play at one time, but I think she will be just fine.  Lydia picked her songs too.  Because she has more trouble learning pieces than her sisters, she is doing easy piano music.  It is a bit too easy for her, but the next level is too hard at this point.  Bob started with Christmas last week.  It seems weird to be playing Christmas music and it isn't even Halloween yet!  Hey, you have to start early if you want students to play well in the concert and I do!  Calli and Acer are absent today, but I am not starting them on Christmas until the end of the month.  They don't need as much time to practice for the concert as the older ones do.  However, we will be starting before Halloween with them too.  Frank will be starting this week too.  Katie will start hers at her next lesson.  So all in all, everyone is starting their Christmas music.  It is very festive during lessons right now.

Mom is resting in the living room right now.  I had to get up early for my girls lessons and she didn't want to get up, so hey, I let her sleep.  Carolyn came over and she stayed with Mom and when Sylvia arrived to give Mom her bath, Carolyn's Mom came up too.  She wanted to meet Sylvia which is totally understandable as Carolyn had never met her before and was a bit worried about letting a stranger in the house.  Sylvia was just finishing up when I arrived home.  Mom was still in bed but we got her up to sit in the living room so she would be comfy for a while.  I really didn't want her laying down all day.  She needs to sit up sometimes too.  I don't push Mom getting up right now.  If she wants to stay in bed, I let her.  She is very tired all the time.  Tomorrow we get to sleep in!  I am so glad.  It seems the last few nights I have been awake on and off all night long.  I swear I saw the clock almost every hour until 5 am this morning.  It is getting rather annoying and it is the pelvic pain that is keeping me up.  At 5 am I came down the stairs to get some more pain medicine and decided to give the new stuff a second try.  Well, let me tell you, it worked because the next time I saw the clock, it was 10:00 am.  So yeah!  I plan to take that stuff again tonight.  It really helped the pain.  I could sleep without feeling any pain in that area.  So that was extremely exciting to me.  I don't know how tired it makes me so I haven't taken any yet today but it is almost time for more pain medicine so I am going to try it again.

It is nice and sunny out today unlike yesterday with the rain.  We didn't have time to go to Timmy's today.  I am not sure if we will go tomorrow or not.  All depends on Mom.  I may take a run up there while she is sleeping but I am not sure.  I don't really like doing that.  If we go I will bring her ensure with me and not get her a milk.  She needs the ensure more now than the milk because she only drinks about 1 a day.  Not much nutrition for her but according to the hospice book, it is normal.  Doesn't seem right to me, but her body is telling her it doesn't need much so she doesn't drink much.  She was coughing a bit today and it sounded like a bit of congestion.  I am hoping it isn't because she doesn't need to get sick, that could be the end of her then.  The hospice book did say though that sometimes they do get fluid in the lungs at the end.  So you can totally see why I DON'T want her to have any congestion.  I want her to last to after Christmas so I can really make a good one for her.  The Muglia girls are going to help me decorate the living room and dining room.  I am not sure where I will put the tree, but we will find a good place for it.  I am just asking for a few more months, that isn't too much is it?

One lesson tomorrow and then one on Thursday and then that is it for the week.  I hope this finds you doing well and having a great day!  It has been a good one so far here.

Lazy Sunday!

It has been a very lazy day for me here.  I got up and got dressed around 11:30 am.  I talked on the phone for a bit then went and taught 1 lesson before I got Mom up.  She didn't want to get up at that point so I didn't make her.  After Katie's lesson I got Mom up.  It was very tiring for the two of us.  It is a long walk to the other bathroom to get her ready.  I am going to try a new way tonight in the living room getting her undressed and ready for bed.  We DID go to Tim Horton's today.  It was the first time we went together since I was in the hospital Wednesday evening.  It totally wiped her out so it wasn't the usual fun time.  I think next time I will use the wheelchair.  I can put the wheelchair at the bottom of the steps, walk her out the door and down the steps and then put her in.  Then I can wheel her to the car.  Once we get where we are going, I can put her back into the wheelchair and take her in.  It shouldn't tire her out so much that way nor should it tire me so much.  I literally slept for 4 1/2 hours this afternoon, I was that tired.  Mom is still in the living room.  She is in some pain and doesn't want to move.  I tried to get her to come to the dining room but she just hurts to much so I left her in there.  She has had 1/3 of an ensure today.  I will be making some chicken for her shortly when I make me something to eat too.  I hope she eats some of it.  I will just feed her in the living room.

I think I am going to get an air mattress for me to sleep on in the living room because it is very difficult for me to sleep that far away from her.  If she should need me in the middle of the night, I won't hear her because 1 - I am far away upstairs in the furthest from the stairs bedroom and 2 - I am partially deaf.  So between those two issues, I think that might make me feel better about her sleeping downstairs away from me.

I wish we were able to go to my Uncle's yesterday because my cousin, Billy, was there and I haven't seen him in a few years.  He is really nice and a good cousin.  My other cousin, Nicole, and her family were there too and I really like her too.  Actually, I like most of my cousins, they are good friends as well as family members.  They are very helpful.  I love them all so much.  I don't know if Mom will be able to make that long trip again, but we can see.  I have a wheelchair and I can use it for her.  She also has a walker that she can use.  It is so hard to watch a once, very vibrant person become so weak and frail.  Mom was such a go getter that I wish you could have seen her.  But I am thankful she is still here for now.

The pelvic pain is minimum now.  It still hurts, but not like it did.  I am taking some pain medicine to take care of it and it helps, but doesn't eliminate the pain totally.  Because of the antibiotics, I am afraid to take my blood thinner medication because they don't react well together.  I will be taking them again after the antibiotics are finished, which should be by Wednesday or Thursday.  I only have the usual headache today although when we were eating lunch I had pain in my neck and upper back but I know that was from leading and helping Mom walk.

I got Christmas music out for the Muglia girls tonight.  Since they have lessons only 1 time a month, I felt we needed to start now and not wait until November's lesson.  I want them to be prepared for the Christmas Concert.  I should know the date shortly.  Heather B-T is taking care of that for me.  I am happy to have the help.  I am pretty flexible on the date.  I did give her my order of choices, but in reality, whenever we are able to get the church works for me.

Tomorrow will be a bit busy for me, but I look forward to it.  It is hard for me at times to fill my day up with enough to do.  I never know what I will be up for either, which makes it even harder.  I have a few less students than I have ever had so that is hard too.  If I had some more, it would be good.  I would have things to do and students to teach.  Blasted economy!  It is hard on people in general and very hard on me as I am a luxury item.  I am the first to go.  But, I know God is in control and he has a plan for me.  I don't know what it is yet, but I am waiting to find out.

I hope this finds you doing well.  We are, overall, doing okay in the house.  Mom is getting a bit stronger, but not too much.  We can't expect miracles with this illness, that is for sure but for her to hang on a bit longer is good.

magazine!

Don't forget to check out the FM Aware magazine from the national association!

www.fmaware.org.

It has great resources and articles for our information and enjoyment.

october is finally here with nicer weather!

It is so nice outside today.  Definitely my type of day, except for the rain.  It isn't raining right now, so I am happy about that, but it did rain earlier in the morning.  Mom is doing a bit better nutrition wise today than she has the last few days.  She downed a full ensure bottle in 15 minutes this afternoon when I got her up.  I didn't get her up until about 1 pm because she didn't want to get up.  She can't walk very well but I am hoping it will improve with the added nutrition.  We were supposed to go to my Uncle's today, but I didn't think she could handle the drive and she can't walk well.  She is sitting up much straighter now and isn't leaning to the left as much as she was yesterday.  Yesterday she was bent way over and leaning to the left really bad.  It was frightening because she was so weak she couldn't hold herself up right.  Today she is better, especially after downing the ensure.  I am hopeful we can get another one down her today.  That is my goal, and maybe with a boost pudding later too.  Possibly even with some dinner!  Now that would make my day, completely make my day!

The pain is getting much better, it only hurts a small amount now so yeah for that!  The pain medicine is starting to really help the pain as it gets much better.  I never want to go through anything like this again.  Never!

Not much is going on today.  I am going to venture into our dungeon (the family room) to pull out a Christmas ornament craft to begin on.  I am not sure.  I think because she is doing so well I will try to put in a movie to watch.  Right now she isn't tired so I won't put her in the living room for a nap, but maybe will need to later.  We shall see.  Right now I want to really just spend some time with her even if we are just sitting next to each other in the dining room.

I hope you are enjoying the nice fall weather.  It is so beautiful out, weather wise, compared to what it was a month ago.  I am so glad to see October.  It is a happy month in this house, even though I don't really like Halloween.  Don't know why, just don't like it as much as Christmas.  Love the Christmas season, simply love every bit of it, even the annoying shoppers can't get me down!  I will begin to purchase Christmas presents this month so I will have enough money to pay for the presents.  If I don't start now, then no one will get anything.  I don't know what to get Mom because she is in such bad condition, there is a new Tinkerbell movie out and she loves Tinkerbell, so maybe that.  We'll see!

Have a great afternoon!

Friday!

The pelvic pain has been cured, well, sort of since it still hurts, but not as bad as it did.  It turned out to be an abscess on me.  It was very painful to do anything, and well, Wednesday did it for me.  After practically crying most of the day from the pain, I went to the ER.  Now I felt rather weird about this because it wasn't truly an emergency and that is what emergency room means.  However, it turned out to be the best thing because the ultrasound wouldn't have picked it up.  It would have missed it all.  So, I would still be in pain and not knowing what was wrong.  They pricked and drained it.  Supposedly they numbed the area.  Okay, but it still hurt and I was petrified.  Simply scared to death.  I am supposed to sit and soak everyday 3 to 4 times a day but I have to get the sit bath basin to do it.  I will be getting that this afternoon.  Somehow I have to keep that area completely clean, a challenge but with the soakings that should help.  The doctor did say I would ache like crazy yesterday but today would be better and it is.  Not good enough for me, but better.  I hope it is even better tomorrow because, quite frankly, 2 weeks of this torture is enough.  I did learn that had I had this diagnosed earlier, like last week, I could have saved myself not only some pain, but they could have given me medicine and it would have drained itself.  But no, I was embarrassed and upset and look what happened.

The old hospital bed is gone and the new one is in its place.  I still don't like the idea of Mom down here away from me at night, but she is so weak now.  She had a really hard time walking this morning and we have to go to the store.  (I am waiting to see if the girl down the street can come and stay with her for a few while I go)  She nearly fell 2 times walking to the bathroom on this level.  It is a further walk in the morning for her and the bathroom is smaller but what can we do?  I can't afford to bust out a wall and make it a good size bathroom.  In this new bed she only needs one pillow as her head was completely off the pillows when I came down this morning.  Not a good thing for her.  I guess the pillows were too high.  I also think they aren't her pillows but I can't find hers.  It is really upsetting me but what can I do? I can't find them.  Maybe they just look different on this bed.  I am going to wait another 1/2 hour and then we are going to have to go to the store.  I need to soak today with this basin.  Not that I want to, but I have to.  I need to keep the area clean.

So far, it has been a pretty good day overall.  Mom had her bath and now she looks nice and spiffy.  Although she looks very tired and weak.  She had about 1/4 of a Ensure yesterday and that was it.  So far today she has drank 1/2 of one.  I am trying to get 2 down her today plus some chicken.  I pray it works.  I don't need her going down farther.  She is going down fast enough.

My head is more sore than usual.  Probably trying to recover from staying on a stretcher for the last day and a half.   My back is better because it was really getting sore too from the same thing and well, I could only lay on my back because of the pain.  I am a side sleeper.  On my back I sometimes stop breathing and it also hurts it if I lay to long on it.  I do hope the pain pills work for me.  They wanted to give me vicodin at the hospital.  I am allergic to vicodin, I told the doctor that I get really bad headaches from it and she still wanted to give me it.  Why would I take something that makes my head hurt really bad?  I also am allergic to codeine.  Another alternative was Tylenol 3 which has codeine in it.  Where on earth was the doctor's head?  I get bad headaches from each of them.  I am not going to take them.  Those were my only 2 options so I had to take no option.  I simply refused to take either as they both make me ache more.  I know there is more than that option available, just think a bit about it.  Really, sometimes doctors make absolutely no sense.

It is beautiful out and we will be heading out soon to get my basin.  I think I will just go to the pharmacy right up the street instead of Walmart where we usually go.  I hope you have beautiful weather too.