New Years Day

I can't believe it is New Year's Day already.  This week has gone by rather fast.  I managed to stay up until Midnight last night at Heather B-T's.  It was lots of fun.   I enjoyed myself and met 2 new friends, Becky and Carl, they are good friends of the B-T's and are very nice.  Brandon, Heather's nephew was there too.  He is such a nice young man.  He is in college and his cousins just simply love him to pieces.  I played with Acer and Calli.  I have found someone who loves UNO as much as I do!!!  Calli and I played it for a couple of hours.  It was so neat.  She has a braille set of the game.  We giggled and laughed so much during the games.  She won some, I won some, Brandon won some, all in all, a wonderful night.  I started to learn a new game called Munchkin.  I hope to try it again someday.

I was so tired from staying up late that I took a nap this afternoon.  Tillie called this afternoon and so did Donna so I called them back after my nap.  I was just too tired to talk.  Sounds weird, I know, but I was.

I will be meeting with Delphine, the grief counselor again now that the holidays are over.  I survived them and even enjoyed myself at times.  I was going to take down the Christmas decorations, I am just too tired to do it today, I will do it tomorrow instead.  Not a big deal.  There isn't much to take down, some garland, ornaments off a small tree, and stuff off of the pianos.  I am planning to leave the snowmen for the winter as they are beautiful and snowmen can be for winter, not just Christmas I think.  I have lessons starting up on Monday with a brand new one next Saturday!  I am very excited about a new one.  This will be fun.  She is 12 and is taking voice.  I also have to turn in all the competition stuff Saturday and mail the checks that day too.  Hard to believe it is competition season again but it is.

I am not sure how the year will be with me.  There will be a lot of new stuff this year.  A lot of firsts for me.  First time I am alone at competition, first Easter, etc.  From what my friends have said, the first year is the hardest and it gets a bit easier after that.  I am glad I have friends to help me with this.  I am sorry that they had to go through this too, but at least I know who to call or email when I need some help.  I have many good friends both off line and on line that have been very supportive of me.

I do hope this year is the best for everyone.  It is like a fresh start in a way for all of us.  As Deb reminded me earlier, 2011 is a clean slate right now and how will we fill it?  I am not sure, but I hope to fill it with good things, good times, and good decisions.  It is a very difficult and strange time for me, so I don't know how the year will be.  I hope you had an enjoyable New Year's Eve and are looking forward to a great New Year.

New Year's Eve

I can't believe it is New Year's Eve already!  I am heading out to my friend, Heather B-T's for the evening. I haven't been out anywhere for this night in so long that I can't remember the last time I wasn't home.  Oh wait, yes I do, it was 2006 and Richard's family and Mom and I were at Disney's Vero Beach.  We went for a week after Christmas.  The hotel had a New Year's Eve party that we went too.  Mom and I didn't last until Midnight, but we had a very good night anyhow.  We lasted until about 10:30 ish and then we went back to our room and went to bed.  It was a wonderful vacation.  I had joined the Disney Vacation Club that year and we loved being a part of it.  It was so awesome, but unfortunately, we couldn't stay members as we just didn't have the money anymore.  I hope to join again someday.  I really liked it.  We went to Disney something like 4 times in 3 years plus the Vero Beach Resort.

Looking back at that holiday, Mom and I had a blast, but then again, we usually did when we were together.  That was the year she bought me my scooter.  At first Richard was like, take it back, I'll push her like always, but then Momma explained that it wasn't just for that vacation, that it was for home too.  Once he saw that it was easier on everyone, especially him, he liked it a lot.  It really is nice to have because often on vacations I am left behind because of my lack of mobility and with the scooter, I could go too.  We went on many walks as a family on that trip.  I have used it on other trips too and it is the best thing I could have gotten.  We took it to Seattle with us too when we went to visit Richard and family.  I scooted around Seattle so easily with them.  I could keep up and that was important to me.  If I had to walk I would have missed out on so many things.  Mom liked the scooter too.  She would put her hand on the handle and walk beside me all the time.  I use a scooter to go shopping too.  It is part of the reason I go to Walmart's because they have scooters there for customers' to use.  Mom would hold my hand for that and walk beside me.  We would go very slow because Momma couldn't walk very fast that last spring and summer but she liked to go.  It made her feel important to go and get stuff with me.



I hope that this evening is a lot of fun for you.  I am looking forward to going and playing games with friends.  Happy New Year!

Almost the end of the year, oh my!

It is hard to believe that the year is almost over.  Hard to believe that a year ago, Momma was here with me doing pretty well.  We had a good time for New Year's Eve and Day.  We played games like monopoly, life, sorry, games like that.  We loved playing them together.  Now I am alone, and struggling to get through this.

I had two lessons today, Rachel and Rebecca.  It went well.  Rebecca has decided she wants to change her inspirational song for competition, not a problem, I have other choices for her.  She has a good book with the CD to see what she likes or she can see what else I have.  So far, Katie, Rachel, and Rebecca are coming along getting ready for competition.  I am pleased with the way it is going so far.  All students are doing well.  I will spend the next week getting music ready for Kayla, my new one.  She is 12 and goes to school near by here.  They are about 5 miles from me.  I am excited to meet her.  I seem to come alive during teaching and not very much any other time.

I didn't sleep very well last night.  I slept in until about 1 pm.  I was shocked, that is two times this week I have slept that late.  I am just having trouble figuring out when to take my nighttime medicine that will help me go to sleep at a good time.  The new pain medicine helps me sleep better so that is good.  That combined with my sleep medicine, helps me sleep better although I still wake up with pain during the night and have to get up to stretch out the pain before getting back into bed.  I am getting used to sleeping by myself in the house.  I miss having Mom in the house though.  It was more comfort having another person in the house at night than sleeping by myself, but I can't really do anything about that.  I am used to being alone most of the time.  I still don't really like it, i am more of a need people around me person, but I am used to it.  There is just so much that miss Momma for.  She was my constant companion and I liked it.  I know I am supposed to be liking this being by myself, according to family, but the bottom line is, I liked being with Mom.  I miss doing things with her, simple things like going to the music store today.  I needed a new bookkeeping book for next year.  She would always look to see what was new in sheet music when we would go.  She would look through the music for voice, piano, or for the woodwinds, to see if there was something that needed to be added to my library.  It was fun for her and for me.  Now, I can't buy any new music, but that doesn't really bother me because I have what I need.  Yes, there is always stuff I would like, but I don't need anything.  Right now, i am doing well with what music I have.  If my students cannot find something they want to sing or play with what I have, then they have a problem.  I have 3 file cabinets full of music so I have plenty.  Yes, someday, I would like to be able to replace all the music that is missing, but I have replaced the stuff I really needed and the rest can wait.



I do hope that things are better in 2011.  I am going to be actively looking for more students.  I am also going to focus on making the house less cluttered.  I know that I have a lot of stuff and need to go through and see what I want and what I want to sell or donate.  I know some of Mom's stuff will go to Phoebe as she is about the only one I know who is tiny enough to fit into them.  Phoebe loves hoodies and Mom had quite a few, some she didn't get to wear since I couldn't get to the closet and that is where they were.  Lily is too small for them as she is only 12.  I also have a couple of turtle necks that Phoebe will get.  When I see Phoebe on Saturday I will give them to her.  I also am going to continue to work on choosing better foods to eat and losing weight.  I have started exercising a bit.  It is going very slowly as I have trouble doing exercise because of the pain in my legs but I figure I have to start somewhere.  I like to use both the eclipse and the stair climber.  Both are very good for me as I can move my legs separately from my arms.  If I do both at the same time, I ache more and can't breathe as well and then I have to stop sooner.  I plan to have the other 1/2 of the family room to be for exercise.  All I need is a TV and the DVD player as I like to watch DVDs while I exercise for a long time so I figure I will be at exercising at a longer time by the time the room will be ready.  I have good plans for the house.  I know that it will look really nice by the time I am finished.  I don't plan to paint anything as I like all the colors we have, nor will I replace any of the furniture because it is good furniture.  I am donating the old living room furniture that is currently in the family room because the room is being changed into an exercise/sewing room and there won't be any room for the furniture.  I may be wrong, but that is the plan right now but I won't be doing anything about that until after tax season and Julie and I really start dig in.  I am glad Mom redid the walls several years ago.  We took down the panelling and had drywall and plaster up instead.  I think the room looks much better this way.  I didn't like the panelling anymore.  It was very old school and the new walls really look good.  The room has much potential.  I just wish Momma was here to sew with me.  Every time I sew though, I am with her because she is the one who taught me how.

It has been an alright day.  I enjoyed the lessons and I am relaxing for the rest of the evening.  I am very tired still, I didn't sleep very well last night.  I am going to take my nighttime earlier than I did last night and I hope that help me sleep better tonight.

I hope your day was good too.

A busy Wednesday!

I have had 5 lessons so far today with 1 more at 6 pm tonight.  Instead of just Alyssa, I had Calli, Acer, Aggie, and Bob.  They were make ups for Monday's lessons.  I woke up at about 12 noon and about flipped because somewhere around lunch time the B-T family was coming and I was just waking up!  Fortunately, I did have time to get ready and eat a bowl of cereal.  I tossed in the chicken in the crock pot for my dinner and was ready  before the first two arrived.

The chicken turned out really well although I realized I bought a fryer chicken instead of a roasting one.  I have no idea the difference, so if some one does, please let me know for next time.  I really liking this crock pot cooking.  Tomorrow I am going to make some sausage chili.  I bought some sausage that I like (turkey type as I have to watch my cholesterol and weight) and some chili ingredients.  Last time I did this it tasted really good.  I know sausage is not what is usually in chili, but I was in the mood for it and not turkey burger.  I am planning on cooking 1/3 of the package and freeze the rest for another day.  I think I bought too big of a ham too because I can't freeze it again because I just thawed it to get some out Christmas Eve.  Next time, small ham, not medium size.  This cooking for one is kind of hard at times with portions.

I have 2 lessons tomorrow, more make ups from Monday.  I don't mind.  It has kept the week interesting.  I also have recieved a new inquiry about voice lessons for a 12 year old!  I am rather excited about that.  We shall see how it pans out.  It is a friend of another student, so I am hopeful that the young person will be able to start.  That would replace Dawson who quit on Monday due to lack of practicing and not having time to practice.  Music only works if you have time to work on it.  I also am going to make my first loaf of homemade bread tomorrow.  I have a kit that I bought right before Christmas that I am going to make.  I have a great bread maker that my friend bought for me as I love homemade bread so that will be quite exciting tomorrow.  I also have to remember to go to the bank tomorrow as I have 2 bills that are due by the 1st of the month.

I am anxious to have this year over as I would have to say 2010 really was not my best.  I am not looking forward to a year without Momma, however, I have come to some peace with her death.  She is much better off, I am not, but she is.  I mean, she is with Jesus in Heaven, so yeah, she is definitely much better off.  I don't have as many bad days, more of bad moments now, although I have many of them.  Overall, I just want a fresh new year to start so that this one can be put behind me.  I anticipate many bad moments, but many good ones too.  I think and miss Momma all the time, but I am starting to look at happier memories than the last year of memories.  Looking back, 2010 was not a good year for us.  Poor little Mom was just not doing well and it was so hard on her.  I think it was much easier on me than her because I could help her whereas she just didn't know what was going on so much of the time.  I also think that she was so frightened all the time that it took a toll on her.  I am scared a lot of the time too because I don't know what is going to happen, so I can only imagine what it was like for her and she was scared all the time for the last 2 years.  All in all, I think she is much better off now.  I do pray that God takes care of her for me every night.  I know that someday we will be together and we won't be separated again.  I hope in 2011 to go and visit Richard and family for a vacation.  He mentioned possibly summer he will send for me so I am hopeful on that.  I do also anticipate visiting my uncle a lot like we did last year.  My cousins and I really enjoy ourselves when we are there.  Sometimes Andrew is there, sometimes he is not.  He said until about March he probably won't be able to make it.  We email back and forth every so often so it isn't like I am not in touch with him.  Also in 2011, Kathy will be coming for a weekend!  i am really looking forward to that!  Just Kathy and I for a whole Saturday and Sunday (minus of course, driving time).  I have plans for us already.  I got great gift cards from Richard that we are going to use.  Not all at once, but every so often when she is in town.  We are going to watch Eclipse together.  I am holding out for her on that one!  We both love twilight!  As a side note, one of the coolest gifts I got this year, was a new winter jacket from Lily and her family.  It is so warm and I love the color.  I would say I was very blessed this year with everything I got.  I am very lucky with the family and friends I have.  They have really been super supportive and helped me through the rough year.

My lovely student should be here soon.  I love teaching, it really is the best job in the world.  It was the one thing I missed most when I had to cut back because I discovered it is difficult to teach and run a store when I was teaching pretty much full time then so I cut back on teaching.  Nothing is better than teaching.  I would like to have my own studio again outside of my house, but I do like teaching at home too.  I can be busy in between lessons with house stuff if necessary.  I am going to be, in the next couple of weeks, planning what I am going to do with the house.  Where to begin, where to declutter, and things such as that.  First, I will take the ornaments off the tree on Saturday.  Monday, Heather B-T is going to test the lights (that I didn't put up this year) and then put them on so that next year they just have to be plugged in.  Then we will take the little tree and put it downstairs in the family room for storage right now.  I will put away all the garland and things like that.  I think, though, that I am keeping the snowmen up on the piano until the end of winter.  They make me smile and are simply gorgeous.  It was truly a wonderful gift from a friend.  Her niece owns the Tim Horton's I go to and she belongs to a craft club and this was one of the crafts they did.  She gave them to me to make me smile because she knew this would be a tough season for me and while it was tough in some ways, in others it was okay.  I did enjoy myself on Christmas Eve and Day at Kathy's parents house.  I have enjoyed getting ready for the holiday and I am enjoying this week too.

Pain wise, I would have to say is normal.  Just the usual amount of pain, nothing more, of course, nothing less!  It has been a decent pain week for me.  I do hope your week is good too.

The piano is so beautifully decorated, that I hesitate to remove anything from it!

An interesting day

I had lunch with Anne today.  She came to pick me up.  I had to borrow her for a few minutes because the light in the kitchen went out and I can't hold my arms up long enough to take the globe down, change the bulbs, and put the globe back up so Anne took care of it with assistants from me.  I can now see in the kitchen again.  I didn't notice the bulbs were out until last night after Katie left.  Anne and I went to a new restaurant in the area called Hepburn's.  They serve crepes and they were really good.  I had a Day as it is called, that had sausage, eggs, spinach, and cheese in it.  Everything on the menu was named after an actor or actress from the 50's and 60's.  It was awesome!  I liked the restaurant a lot and hope to go again.  I had a good tea while I was there too and Anne got a hot chocolate to go when we left.

I didn't think I was very tired until I got home after Anne dropped me off.  I took a brief nap this afternoon. I am still very tired for some reason.  I think I am going to go to bed a bit earlier than usual.  

I had one lesson today, it was for an hour because Charlie missed a lesson this month because of a snow day.  It was a good time.  He had to redo a couple of exercises for next week because they are really hard and I am picky.  He said he had a good Christmas and got a lot of good stuff.  He was especially excited about the slide whistle he got.  Being a percussionist, those types things excite him.  We used to carry slide whistles at the store when I had it.  We had lots of neat stuff like that.  I miss being busy at the store these days now that I am not so busy.  I am glad I am a bit busier this week.  I have 5 lessons tomorrow.  4 are make ups from Monday, and then 2 more lessons on Thursday.

I got a package from the lawyer today.  I do have a couple of questions for the lawyer so I hope when I turn it in next week, that I will be able to talk to the lawyer when I turn in the papers.  I don't know how to read some of the petition but I need to make sure I keep the house.  That is my big question.  I don't want to lose the house.  I do a place to live.  I will find out when I talk to the lawyer next week.  I will make an appointment to drop off the paperwork and to speak to the lawyer.  I also have to do the credit counseling.  I do it on line.  It takes about 90 minutes and then another 10 to 15 minutes for a phone call. You have to do this twice, once before you file and once after you file.  I still can't believe I had to do this.

It has been a good day so far.  Not too bad as far as pain goes for the day.  I am just very tired today.  I hope tomorrow is a good day too.

I hope your day has been good too.

Monday

I was all excited about having 8 lessons in one day!  Well, it ended up being 1 lesson with 7 rescheduled.  It makes the rest of my week fun so no problem.  Katie had her lesson.  She finished putting away some of the music.  There was a stack of music that wasn't cataloged though so I have been spending the afternoon and evening cataloging the music.  I didn't expect to be finished today, but I am.  Katie will be finishing up the music on Monday next week.  I am so thankful for her doing this for me.  Mom was my filer, but in the last year she just couldn't do it so the music has been in boxes for about a year.  I will be able to figure out exactly what is missing from my collection.  

Dawson quit lessons today.  He is just too busy with baseball to practice piano.  His mom is supposed to mail me the Christmas book that he has.  I hope she does, this is how I lose music and I don't have to money to replace any right now.  I have some music to send back to Peppers because I asked for Tenor Sax music and they sent me alto sax.  Yeah, can't use the alto sax music, I needed Tenor but now I don't.  I can't get any new music for a while.  Fortunately, I have enough for my Tenor Sax boy to use.  I got some fun stuff too.  I plan to send the music back this week as soon as I get a box for it since the box I had got used for bills.  I never said, don't use that box, and well, it is gone now.  I can get a new one though so or an envelope.

I am very tired tonight.  I have a feeling I will be going to bed earlier than I have been lately.  I had to get up a bit earlier than usual because of a blood test this morning.  I am so sick of blood tests.  I seem to get them every other week and sometimes every week.  It is just one of the annoying things I put up with to make sure I don't get another blood clot.  As annoying as the blood tests are, I would rather deal with them then have another blood clot.  That wasn't too fun the first time.  There has been a couple of scares, but thankfully, no clots so far.  Most people only stay on the medicine for about 6 months to a year, however since I had a blood disorder, I get them for life.

My office is slowly getting in order.  Thanks to Katie, a lot of the music is put away.  I am so thankful for her wanting to help.  It is hard for me to put this much away because I can't stand up that long.  I hope that this will help clear up my office for the computer that I want to put up in it.  The computer has been in the box for 2 years now.  It is a desk top computer that will not have access to the Internet, but that is okay.  I have some pictures and music on it that I want to put on discs so I won't lose them.  The computer is good for writing to and for working with photos because you can look at 2 pages at a time which can help a lot when you are working.

It is cold again today but it is suppose to be a warm up at the end of the week and then it will be cold again.  I am anxious for spring weather already, not summer, just spring.  I am definitely am a fall and spring girl.

My back is a bit sore this evening for some reason.  I think I got it a bit cold last night.  That happens sometimes.  I don't mean to throw of covers, but I sometimes do.  Other than that, I am doing alright pain wise today.  It has been a productive day for a change and I feel really good about that.  I feel like I have accomplished something for a change.  I am looking forward to tomorrow too.  This week is shaping up really well.  Lots of teaching this week, makes me happy!

I do hope you had a good day too.

A Relaxing Day

I am relaxing today.  I have a bad headache so I am resting.  I really slept in today, more than normal, so I must have been exhausted from the last few days activities.  I teach a lot of lessons tomorrow, more than usual, so I must be ready for it.  I am going to read for a bit today too.  I finished Harry Potter number 5 last night so I will start Harry Potter number 6.  I might watch a movie today too.  I am just not doing a whole lot.  It has been a busy few days, I have enjoyed them, but I am tired today.

I talked to the kids and Richard last night.  They are all excited about the trip today to Maui.  I am glad that they are looking forward to it.  I think the will have a lot of fun.  Maui is a beautiful island.  I have a picture I took of the sunset over the volcano in the ocean on my night stand.  It is beautiful.  I went about 7 years ago and I remember snorkeling in the ocean.  It was so much fun.  I loved snorkeling.  Richard said they are going to do that as well as some hikes.  They love hiking.  We used to hike as a family when we were small.  I was the only one who got tired though.  I was always the last one at the destination.  Mom usually hung back with me.  I needed to rest while the boys could go for hours.  It was one activity we did a lot as a family.  I am glad Richard takes the kids on them.  If they had scooter paths I would so go with them.

I am going to try and upload the Christmas photos to face book again today.  We have had some trouble with it.  My friend, Jennie has been having the same trouble I have had.  I will post here the picture of Kathy and I at her parents on Christmas Day.  I got a lot of pictures of her children opening and playing with presents.  It was so fun to watch them be so excited about their gifts.  They are such wonderful children.  I simply adore them.

Last night I was remember some Christmases with Mom and I in the last few years.  In 2007, before we lost the store, I remember how our dining room table looked.  Our living room was full so we couldn't put up a tree in there so I put my little one on the table in the dining room.  Since we weren't home all that much, it didn't matter that it was there.  I really went all out for Momma.  I had such fun buying her store.  I ordered a lot from Amazon because there were certain DVDs I wanted for her and it is so much easier getting the older ones from them.  I got her the entire series of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, the rest of the MacGyver series, Murder She Wrote, and the Santa Claus Movies.  I also got her some books and other homemade stuff as well.  Over all, I so over did it for the little lady.  I would say on that table 3/4 of the gifts were for her.  The look on her face when she opened present after present for her was great.  She kept saying what did I get you?  Well, she got me the new operating system for the mac and the newest at the time finale program, both were expensive.  I was happy with what I got, I really wanted her to have some nice stuff.  It was really one of the last Christmases she was really herself and could enjoy the gifts.  2008 wasn't too bad, but by 2009 she was in the later stages of Alzheimer's.  Somehow I knew that that would be one of the last years she would really be herself and really know what she got.  We had a ball watching all those TV shows together.  On the weekends, when we were home, we would spend the evening and daytime of Sunday, watching them.  I have the last season of Murder She Wrote but I haven't watched it yet and I have had it for a couple of months now.  It seems too weird still to watch it on my own.  In the New Year I will watch that and a few other DVDs that I have that I haven't seen yet.

This is usually the week I think about what I want to do for the next year.  I am not sure outside of teaching.  I plan to continue and hopefully have more students, but outside of that, I have no plans.  I would like to see Richard sometime this year.  I just don't know.  2010 was a rough year, and i hope 2011 will be better, although, the first year without Momma will be hard for me.

I do hope you had a good Christmas with friends and family.  Overall, it was very good and it is nice to relax today.  I hope the headache is back to normal by tomorrow when I teach so much.  I am looking forward to that.

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a great time last night at the Knight's house.  I went with Kathy after church to her parents' house to open presents.  I brought the presents Richard sent me with me along with the gifts I had gotten the kids.  I got 2 new movies!  Ramona and Beezus and Beauty and the Beast!  Love Beauty and the Beast.  It is my favorite movie ever.  From the first moment I saw the movie I was in love with it.  I also got great gift cards that Kathy and I will have fun spending!  She is coming for the weekend in January!  I am so excited about that.  I got home just after 11 and read for a bit because as tired as I was I couldn't sleep.  Too much excitement I guess.  I finally went to sleep around 1 am.  I got up, got ready and went back to the Knight house for Christmas Dinner.  We had it early in the day so that the rest of the day would be laid back.  Kathy and family had to go to Tony's sister's house for a bit so I came home.  It has been a good Christmas.  I was afraid it would be really hard and while it is hard, I still enjoyed myself.  I cried a bit yesterday afternoon, but so far today I am only thinking of good memories of Momma and Christmas.  She made so much of the holiday.  She had us believing when we were young that Santa's elves came and decorated out house, inside and out.  I remember thinking why don't the elves come back to put everything away.  Mom liked to start the new year out with all the decorations down and the house nice and clean.  It is a Scottish tradition.  You start the new year out with a clean house, all grudges gone, and debt free.  Well, I almost have the debt free part!  I have  turned in all the bankruptcy stuff.  Clean house, well, probably not.  I don't like to take the stuff down until after the new year.  Momma and I definitely differed on that point.  Since I was in charge of Christmas the last few years we were home, I left it out until after New Year's Day.  She didn't seemed to mind.

I haven't talked to either one of my brothers yet.  I emailed Andrew because he doesn't answer his phone, he only texts.  I don't have texting.  It cost too much for me to get.  I just have a phone.  I am hoping to talk to Richard though before he goes on vacation.  I am excited he is finally going to Hawaii, even if they are only staying on Maui.  It is a beautiful island.  I gave him some tips on what to do and told him they have a person just for planning tours and everything.  I do hope they all have a good time.

It was nice to spend the last two days with Kathy and crew.  I have some pictures I need to upload onto face book.  There is even a picture of Kathy and I together.  She was like, I don't want my picture taken, but I asked her to so her Mom took the picture.  The dinner was wonderful.  I am so full.  I don't think I will need any dinner tonight.  I think that was it for me.

I also met her brother, Dan's wife, Tracy.  She is wonderful!  I really like her a lot.  She is from China and works as a software person.  I think she is so nice.  They girls seem to love her too which is really good.  She fits right into the Knight family well.  I am glad Kathy has a great sister-in-law.  She got really lucky in family because Tony's family is really nice too.  I am glad.  She deserves to have a good family.  I know I had a great Momma and that made me happy.  It was nice to think about some of the things Mom did and not cry.  I can smile sometimes when I think about her.  I bet she is having a great Christmas up in Heaven.  I mean, really, having Jesus' birthday party with the man himself?  I don't think anything would be cooler.  I feel her near me today too so that is good. 

I am not minding being alone in the house today like I was the other day.  I can hear my fish tank and enjoy the peace and quiet.  I am going to put one of my new movies in and watch it.  It has just been an enjoyable day. 

I do have a bit of a headache today, but it isn't too bad compared to the other day when it was really bad.  It is a bit worse than the usual chronic headache, but not too bad.  I took a pain pill and that should bring it down to normal.  I do hope you are having a great Christmas and enjoying it with family or friends or both!  I am glad I went to see Kathy and her family.  They make me feel like I am a part of the family and not an outsider.  It was a wonderful 2 days.

Christmas Eve

I had a rough night last night.  I haven't had too many, but last night was definitely one of them.  After having a really good day with Lily, it was a quiet evening but that was okay.  I made myself a nice dinner.  I had cooked turkey drumsticks in the crock pot.  They were really yummy.  I was okay until right before I went to bed.  All of a sudden I was crying and missing Momma.  I miss her all the time but this was worse than the usual missing of Mom.  My chest was sore too from missing her.  That happens to me sometimes.  My fibro flares up when I miss her a lot or am crying too much from missing her.  I thought I had calmed down enough to go to bed since it was bed time, but once I got back into bed, I cried hard again.  So then I came back downstairs because I knew I wouldn't sleep.  I turned the computer on to see who was on line.  I emailed my brother, who did email me back this morning, with the worst thing ever, I asked him what he does when he is missing Mom a lot.  He told me to go smoke a phat one.  That is not funny especially since I was seriously asking him.  I was not trying to be funny at all.  I was extremely upset and crying really hard, and that is his answer?  Yeah, I won't be bothering him anymore.  I emailed Kathy and that helped.  I tried to call Richard but he didn't answer.  He hasn't called me back either so he must not of listened to the message.  Then I remembered Delphine from the hospice place told me that I could write Mom a letter.  So I did and that helped me calm down enough to go to sleep.  By the time I finished I wasn't crying anymore and was completely exhausted and sore.  My whole body ached from that one.

I am spending today and tomorrow with Kathy so I won't be alone too much.  I had other places I could have gone, but I just didn't want to drive that far and I wanted to be with Kathy.  She is very sympathetic.  She just listens and then helps me calm down which is very helpful, she doesn't give useless answers either.  I will see her sometime today and she will call when she is in town because I don't know what time we are going to church tonight.  After church we are going to her parents house to open presents.  I have a few to wrap still.  I will do it before we go to church.  I am ready to go all I have to do is change pants and then I am ready for church.

It seems very weird to be having Christmas without Momma.  I have never had one without her but this year I am.  I have had Christmases away from my brothers so that doesn't seem weird, but never one without Mom.  I was always with her on this holiday.  It was weird not to buy her a present or finish the one I was making for her.  I have put it away.  I don't know if I will ever finish it or not, but I have it if I want to finish it.  It is in the family room somewhere.  I am trying to be strong this holiday and not break down too much.  I mean, Momma should be having the coolest and best holiday ever because she gets to celebrate Jesus' birthday with him.  Nothing better than that.  I will be with people who love me and whom I love so that is good too.  I hope to see my Uncle sometime this holiday season.  I am planning to call him today, I am not sure if he is home or not.  I will leave a message if he isn't.

I do hope you have a good Christmas and that it brings you joy and happiness too.

the day with Lily

Lily was here today.  She arrived at 10 am.  Yes, 10 am.  I was up.  I got up at 9:15 am to make sure I would be awake when she arrived.  The first thing she did was start decorating the gingerbread house.  It was fun watching her decorate it.  She took it home for her family and friends to enjoy.  Next she decorated  the cookies I baked for her.  I gave her a really big Santa mug for Christmas.  She loved it.  A few weeks ago she mentioned she wanted a big mug for Christmas so I went and got it for her.  After we finished with the gingerbread house and the cookies I was hungry.  It was just after 12 noon so we headed to Tim Horton's for lunch.  We went through the drive through.  Lily loves their mac and cheese so I got her that and a donut.  Unfortunately, they forgot the donut.  So after we ate our lunch we headed back Tim Horton's to get the donut.  They gave her two.  Lily was excited about that.  She ate 1/2 at my house and then took the rest home.

When we were done with that we decided to play some games.  So all afternoon we played games.  Julie, her mother, stopped by to pick her up but we were about to play the Pirates of the Carribbean Game of Life so Julie said she could stay later and I said I would take her home.  We played Uno, a new game I just got, it is actually the Winnie the Pooh version!  We also played Dr. Suess' Fun in a Box game.  It is a wonderful memory type game.  I no longer have a good memory so Lily won that won.  Then we played Monopoly, nobody won because we didn't get a chance to finish the game, it was getting late.  I took her home and then came home for dinner.  I had made turkey drumsticks for dinner, so that with mashed potatoes, and veggies completed my dinner.  I am trying not to eat frozen dinners or have take out too often.  I am trying to eat healthier and lose weight.  My weight has gotten out of control.  I am no longer keeping track of what I eat or using my food mover that works really well.  I am starting to use it again and eating better.  I want to lose some weight by spring.  I don't have a number in mind, but I need to be able to get into my jeans again.  I have the cutest jeans ever.  Right now they are too tight.  The jeans have matching hoodies too so they are very cute outfits.

I can't believe it is 2 days before Christmas.  Sometimes it seems like years away and other times right around the corner.  We are opening presents tomorrow night after church at Kathy's parents house.

Tomorrow I have to go and get some milk.  I am now almost out.  There won't be enough for Christmas morning breakfast/lunch.  I think that is all I need at the store.  I also have not had time to wrap gifts yet so I have to do that tomorrow before church.  I am not sure what service we are going to yet.  I would imagine one of the earlier ones.

I may have another new student starting January 3.  I am hopeful they will sign up and begin on the 3rd. That would mean 2 new students with the new company.  I can only wait and see.

Here are some pictures of Lily and the gingerbread house.

3 days until Christmas!

3 days until Christmas.  I am working on the gingerbread house tonight.  I won't decorate it until tomorrow when Lily will be here.  I will be up early for her tomorrow.  I am excited about her decorating the house.  She is very creative.  It will be interesting to see how she decorates the house.  I have to wrap her present too, it isn't done yet.  It will be before she gets here.  I am looking forward to spending some time for her.  I also will be wrapping Kathy's kids presents tomorrow too.

I spent the afternoon with Kimberly today.  We sat and chatted at Olga's for about 4 hours.  It was so fun.  I did enjoy myself.  I haven't seen her in a few years since she moved to Florida.  Her parents moved back to Michigan this past fall so she is up to spend Christmas with them.  We chatted about everything it seems.  I could have stayed longer but I had to get home for Alyssa's lesson.  She is doing really well with her lessons.  Her dad brought her today.  I think I met him years ago, but it has been so long.

It is hard to believe that Christmas is almost here.  I will see Kathy and family in 2 days!  I am thrilled about that.  I will see her both days.  I emailed Andrew and let him know I wasn't going to my Uncle's for the day.  I would just like to spend it here right now.  I hope to see Uncle John soon.  Kathy can't spend much time in town this year, so I would miss her if I don't spend both days with her.  I will also get to see Annie next week!  I can't wait.  I hope she would like to go to Kruse and Muir since I have 2 gift certificates for that restaurant.  I think that she likes that restaurant.  I think we have been there together before, but I can't remember for sure.  I will find out when she gets in town.  I haven't seen her since spring.  She wasn't able to come to town when Mom passed away, I didn't expect her too.  She sent her Mom to the viewing in her place.  It was awfully nice of her to do.  Momma really like Anne a lot.  We used to see her quite a bit when she would come into town.  I am looking forward to seeing her.

Other than students, I don't have to much planned for the week between Christmas and New Year's Day.  I will have students on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  I will be spending New Year's Eve at Heather B-T's and her family.

Fun day today and planning a fun day tomorrow!  I shall be busy for the next few days and I am looking forward to it.  I need to be busy!

I may have another new student when the new year begins!  I am praying for more.  So far so good, I hope it keeps up!  I love teaching so much.  It really brightens and makes my day when I have to teach.

I hope your day was as good as mine!