I have 3 students today.  1 was a makeup from yesterday and then the regular 2 for today.  I finished the 1 homeschooler already.  Just waiting for my 2 boys.  We started the morning off a bit rough today, I woke up with a splitting headache.  I came down for some meds and then went back to bed.  It is finally back to it's dull roar of a headache that I normally have.  Mom slept through the whole thing.  She didn't get up until after 10 am so yeah for Mom.  Alright, she was up at 6 am and I put her right back to bed.  She was standing in the bathroom, I could tell she used it but she didn't know what to do next.  I have no idea how long she stood for before I came into the bathroom.  After I went, I put her back into bed and she stayed there until, as I said earlier, after 10 am.  She didn't get up any other time during the night that I know of and she pretty much went right to sleep.  We did go to bed quite early as I was exhausted from the weekend and I had another doozy of a headache.

I did learn a few things on the weekend.  Mom can survive without me nicely.  She was with Tillie and didn't ask for me at all, even at one point asked who Heather was.  A few minutes later she said she knew I was her daughter.  I know that I can put her in day care and she will be fine.  Also, her eating hasn't improved since we came home.  She ate 1/2 of the dinner I gave her last night and she didn't finish the muffin from this morning.  I now order off the kids menu for her or a seniors menu.  No more from the regular menu.

We got about 7 inches of snow.  Ugh, not happy about digging my car out that is for sure.  I miss being in the garage.  This spring I am going to order a dumpster and get rid of most of the stuff in the garage (a lot of it is garbage, like empty boxes, old wood, old cardboard, useless tools)  I am going to ask Hayley if she wants any of the power tools we have because I won't be needing them.  I would like to do a garage sale, but I will have to see.  I think I would get more from eBay.  (Once I learn how to use it.)

I have a new cholesterol medicine.  it is very expensive so I got a month's worth of samples.  I simply don't have the money for any more medicines that don't have generics for them.  I hear it is a very expensive medicine too so I will be getting samples and that's about all I can get for them.

I made Mom an appointment with a new doctor in Windsor for the assessment she needs.  It is in March, which at first kinda made me mad until I realized it is only 2 weeks away.  March just sounds like so far away right now.  

I have to get the invitations for her birthday party out.  I plan to do that this week.  We are having an open house at Tillie's for it.  She will be 76.  Before her birthday, I plan to get her hair all set and nice and have her picture taken.  I want to have an updated picture of her and they are $5 to get about 30 portraits at Walmart so that's where we will be going.  I will send one to Richard and Jennifer, one to Andrew, one for Tillie, and then one for me!  Any extras I will bring to the party.  I also am going to do a save the date on facebook for my family before I send the invitations.  I hope Mom has fun.  It kinda is a say goodbye to the Aunt you know now because she is going down hill fast and soon won't know anyone.  So now is a good time to see her, while she recognizes people!  I hope she has fun at it.  We shall see.

Pain isn't so bad today now that the head is back to normal.  Mom is sleeping in her chair as usual, and I am waiting for students to arrive.  I hope your day is good, too!

We were snowed in this morning so no Tim Horton's for the Paxton's residence.  I miss my Tim Horton's.  I think I am going through withdrawal as my head is seriously sore today.  Mom is doing okay today except she doesn't like stairs now.  Please God, nothing more right now!  i can't handle it.  

The young man in our sub came to dig us out.  It was worth the $15 to pay him and his pals.  Three of them do our sidewalks and driveway.  I tried the front walk but that didn't work real well as the snow was very heavy.  I am very exhausted today.  I think we are heading to bed early, I hope Mom stays in all night without any wake ups.  She woke up 2 times last night.

I think I will end this now as I don't really have anything to say today, except I am heading for a nap.  I live to sleep, sleep to live!  That's my motto!

We are back from competition.  Students did alright.  Katie won her first trophy for a solo ever!  It was exciting for me to see her win something.  Rachel won 3 solos out of 4 and she and Katie got a 2nd for their duet.  Frank won 2nd for one of his piano pieces, we were both excited about that.  It was great because it was his first time competing piano ever.

Mom did alright with Tillie, apparently didn't get upset when she couldn't see me so I am glad about that.  She isn't eating very well right now.  Or drinking much water or any other liquid either.  It makes me mad because I put the food in front of her and she flips out on me.  It is so frustrating to me.  She is so paranoid about messing up her pants that she won't eat a decent meal or finish a glass of water.  I try to shove an ensure down her but I am sure she has lost even more weight.  At this rate, she will die of starvation and dehydration long before Alzheimer's gets her.  It better change soon or she will end up in a hospital for dehydration.  I try to make her drink, but how do you get someone to drink something that they won't drink?  I don't think you can.

It was nice to be by myself for a bit, although I prefer company to being by myself.  Mom would have liked to have heard a few more students but I don't think she could have handled it.  As it is, she thinks she heard them all (mine anyways)

I am just very angry about the whole situation right now.  I could just scream and cry.  Mom makes it so hard to take care of her.  I have to take her to a doctor in Windsor for an assessment.  What is he/she going to do when they take a look at her?  If they put her in the hospital, I don't think she will be coming home again.  I have to make the appointment Monday I am trying for a Thursday because that is my best day.  I teach M-W and Fri and they of course, are closed on the weekends.  (I don't expect them to be opened on sat or sun)  We have two more assessments before Mom gets added to the Windsor waiting list, although if she goes into a hospital, they may send her directly to a home.

The new medicine works better than the old although she didn't sleep much this weekend and neither did I.  I am planning to sleep in tomorrow until noon because I am so exhausted and so so so so so sore.  My hips and lower back are just killing me with pain.  It has been bad all weekend.  Mom was up and down both nights, I also learned it wouldn't matter if we shared a bed or not, she isn't going to sleep well, she is up and that would just mean even less sleep than I already get now for me so that isn't going to happen.  I also am not moving my bed into her room.  I wouldn't get any sleep at all.  That would just suck for me.  I don't sleep well because of the pain as it is, so even less would be bad.  I hope Tillie gets a good night sleep too because she didn't sleep very much Fri or Sat night either.  She was up every time Mom woke up too, the only one who got sleep, was Mom.

I also saw this weekend how bad Mom really is.  Her downward spiral is moving on a fast track.  I hope it slows down, I am not ready for this fast tracking stuff.  Not ready at all.  I don't think Mom has a clue how little she can do now.  She can't read very much (she was never much of a reader anyways, not like me.) she can't do her puzzles really except for young children ones and even they are hard for her.  Her concentration is pretty bad too, expecting her to follow TV shows and movies are pointless, I just let her wander.  She wanders a lot now, much more than she used to.  Tillie is coming over next month and we are cleaning out her room of all the stuff she no longer needs.  I will be able to gate her in her room then and she can wander in it all night while I sleep, although I prefer her to sleep because otherwise she sleeps all day and that is hard to.

Anyways, overall I am happy how the kids did, Mom did pretty well considering her condition (except the eating and drinking part) but I am exhausted and will take the next week to recover from this weekend.  I am glad competition is only once a year and not more.

I hope your weekend was good.

Wish us luck!  We are heading out to competition and a 2 night stay at a hotel.  Please pray that mom does well with cousin Tillie and the hotel at night!  See you monday!

The new meds worked like a dream.  Mom went right into bed, only woke up once, and then went right back into bed.  Okay, it was weird when she woke up because she, for some odd reason, changed her pants into daytime pants.  I didn't argue with it, I just put her back in bed, no point at 4 am to arguing with her over something like that.  Other than that she went right to sleep BOTH times.  Yeah!!!!!!!!  I can't emphasize it enough!  Yeah!  She also didn't wake me up calling my name in the morning.  She stayed in her room and occasionally popped into mine but didn't wake me up.  Okay, I was sorta awake by 9:30 this morning, but I dozed on and off until 11 am.  I helped her get dressed without any problem from her, she helped me without a problem.  So far, I am liking this new medication.  We shall see how long it lasts.

I am waiting for her case worker to call.  I hope it is soon.  I want all this stuff over and done with.

I can't wait until tomorrow.  It's competition and our vacation.  With the new medication, I am hopeful she will be okay.  I have told her again and again she will be with Tilley most of the weekend, even though I know she will forget, I hope she will be nice to Tilley and not cry for me.  I have to do laundry and pack.  I think I will just put both our stuff in one suitcase, it will be easier that way.  I also will be bringing 2 fleece blankets to help keep us warm at night.  I have a list of what I need to bring.  Tilley left some stuff her a couple of weeks ago, so I told her I would bring it to her this weekend.  You can only bring so much back to Canada based on how long you stay before you have to pay duty.  She bought too much, but since she will be here for the weekend, it will be okay.  I hope my students are practicing and are ready for competition now.  I don't need anymore gray hair from them, as I like to say to them.

It's going to be a boring day, mostly laundry and packing, no visiting with Heather and children today, but I might see them this weekend.  I hope so.  Have a great day and enjoy the sun if you have any.  We do!!!

I found my phone!!!! Yup!  I was very excited last night when I did.  I was walking into my room after putting Mom to bed and under my bed (along with a couple of her puzzle books) was my phone!  I quickly got it out and put it in the drawer.  We went to Verizon today and returned the phone.  I had read most of the receipt, but I missed the part where it said $35 restocking fee.  I was like, oh no, but then the store clerk said he would waive the fee!  How great is that????  Certainly made my day.  So I returned the phone, got my money back and everything.  The downside of the day, Mom keeps crying since we came home.  I'm going to give her her anxiety meds.  Be right back.

Okay, I am back.  Mom now wants to go to bed.  Well, after going to bed early last night, we aren't doing that tonight.  She got up at midnight, managed to take a sock off (only one), spill something in the bathroom, and get her pant leg at the bottom wet with the puddle.  All while I was sleeping.  Fortunately, I woke up and put her back to bed and cleaned up the mess.  It didn't take that long, a bit longer than usual though.  She has new anxiety medicine now that I am going to give her at bed time.  I hope she sleeps through the night.

I am supposed to have Calli for a lesson today, her mom, Heather, wasn't feeling well yesterday so I will have to wait to see how she is doing today.  I hope better.  It's awful when you are the mom and sick.  At least, it seems awful to me, not being a mom or anything.

2 days until competition and our mini vacay!  I can't wait.  I hope Mom does well, she will be with Tilley while I am with my students.  I will definitely be bringing her medicine.  I think I am going to try to have her take a rest in the afternoon for about 1/2 hour every day now.  Maybe she won't be so tired all day that way.  I know I wouldn't mind a 1/2 hour nap every afternoon, some days I sure need it!  Well, gotta get some music for my Calli-girl!  Have a great afternoon!  We will be!

It was a good night for both of us.  I did call the doctor and got her slightly stronger anxiety meds but the store had to order it so I will pick it up tomorrow.  Mom went pretty much right into bed so I was able to go to sleep right away too, well as right away as I can get.  Pain is regular today, not too high or too much, just the normal.  I am a happy girl for the day.  I have 3 students, the usual Katie, Charlie, and Zack.  Katie is going to competition, she was over last night to rehearse the duet with Rachel, who is not so ready for competition.  It is this weekend.  Yup, that's what I said, this weekend.  I for one, am looking forward to room service!  We usually get room service Saturday night with ice cream for mom and tea for me, sometimes cheesecake.  I don't know what Tilley will want, but she can get something too!  That is the treat of the weekend for us.  I have let me kids know who are going but aren't staying over they can just use my room key for swimming.  I mean, it isn't like I am going to be in the pool.  I don't swim much or well and i don't really like it.  I used to like snorkeling, which, I know doesn't make much sense, but hey, I am a Heather and we don't always make sense.  

I have to call the agency today to make an appointment for mom to be put on the waiting list for Long Term Care in Windsor.  I figure if I make plans for both sides of the border, she will be covered!  Right?  I know I once said I wouldn't but now that it is actually getting closer and not in the abstract, I have to think what is best for Mom.  It is best for me that she stays here, monetarily speaking, but not best for her.  I figure in the next six months I will be placing her in LTC.  It will be so difficult to do, but I will buck up and do it.  She is really declining right now.  I hope she levels off, but with this disease, one never knows, do they.

Not much happening today other than some phone calls and teaching.  I miss working and the busy part it brings.  I talked to my friend's friend, who is a recruiter and asked her to keep me in mind if something comes up.  I hope she does, in about 6 months after mom is placed I will be able to go back to work.  Maybe i will have a studio then, maybe not.  The economy is just not really good right now so who knows.  I plan to continue teaching no matter what.  Even if it is just a few and part time.

I hope your day is good, ours is so far!

This is turning out to be a not so nice day for me.  It started early, at 6:30 am when Mom came in my room with wet pants and undies.  I am not sure what exactly happened, but this is the second time.  I think she forgets to take them down, maybe???  Anyways, I will be buying proper pads for her for this issue.  That would have been okay, I have been expecting an issue with this, but she wouldn't really go back to sleep.  That is a problem.  She went right to sleep last night.  The amount of meds really work well.  So yeah!  for that.  But after she went back into bed about 7ish am, she didn't sleep and got out of bed at 7:30, 8:00 and 8:30.  After that I didn't put her back to bed because I knew by then she wouldn't go to sleep.  I stayed in bed.  She kept calling my name as usual, but after about 8:30, she didn't do it as often as usual so I was able to doze while she was up.  The only problem was she put a pair of my pants on and put both legs in one of my legs and put it around her waist.  Now, yes, I am a big person, but I don't need my pants stretched out.  I hope they will go back into shape.  She also was wearing one of my shirts, the problem is, these are worn clothes that need to be washed.  So now I am going to have to hide my clothes when they are waiting to be washed.  Not happy about this new thing.  Not at all.

So of course, i have a headache and I am achy all over because I was so upset over the possible ruination of my clothes.  At least it was only a pair of sweats and not my good clothes, I would have really freaked over that.  She also keeps asking me if I am heather.  All in all, a crummy day.  

The bright spot of the day is that I have 4 lessons.  I hope everyone knows their music because today would not be the day not too.  Is it Friday yet????

I guess I am making up for not posting last night. I have to use Mom's computer until mine dies because it is frozen on sleep. Should be dead in a couple of days. Hopefully soon. I don't like to use Mom's computer. Not sure why, probably because it isn't mine.

I think right after competition next week I am going to start going through Mom's room. I'll start with one bag of junk or a box per couple of days so that it is spread out and won't cause extra pain. I hope once that is done, we can rearrange the rooms so that my bed and mom's bed are in the same room. Right now, there is just no room. I refuse to share a bed with her, as they are not big enough and with the amount of pain I am in, sharing is painful. She cries almost every night about being in her room alone. I think her friend, Jose, will help move the furniture, if not maybe some other friends will help. (Ones with the muscles, something I don't have) I am sure it will work out somehow. Tonight I am going to give her the same amount of unisom and the anxiety meds at the same time. We will head for bed around 9 pm, that seems to be a good time.

I am nervous about the weekend with the week we just had, however, I will be in the same room as she will be and so will Tilley so that should help. It will let me know if traveling is out of her range from now on. I kinda think this will be the last as she is declining rapidly. I wanted to visit Karlyn this spring with Mom, but now, I am not sure. We shall see. I hope she levels off again and stays there for a few months like she did at the beginning of the summer, but the last 6 weeks have me doubt that it will happen.

I hope that by the time Mom needs 24 hour care, I will be getting a job. I am anxious to work again. I don't like sitting around all day. I have a new student starting Wednesday, but she is a scholarship student - one - I have never taught a child who is visually impaired and two - I offered her lessons. I look at it as learning something new. She is a delightful child who is very musically talented.

I have four lessons tomorrow, I also must do some laundry for the weekend. Both Mom and I need our dressier clothes freshly washed (if they aren't already) and ready to be packed for competition. I can't wait until Friday when we arrive. I am looking at this as a bit of work among a vacation for Mom and I. I am glad Tilley is coming too because Mom freaks if she doesn't see me and I am afraid of her disrupting the competition, this way Tilley will be with her and she will be comfortable. Mom did pretty well at the concert but when I had to turn pages for Frank she got nervous because she didn't know where I was and I thought she was going to get up and start looking for me. Fortunately the song ended before she did that. At competition, when I am room captaining, she will not be able to sit with me and I will be up and down the whole time. So with Tilley there, that is a worry I don't have. Mom will be fine and not cause any problems and enjoy herself.

It has been an okay Valentine's Day despite the new phone need. I am still unhappy about it. I emailed those I could for their numbers, I heard from 4 of them. I hope to hear from Richard soon with his numbers. I will get my students this week as the week progresses. I hope not to get sick so I have to cancel before I get the numbers! I will write them down in the book as soon as I get it!

Have a great day! (or night, as it is about 8 pm right now here in Michigan!)

The concert went great! They all did really well. We raised about $200 so I was very happy about that. Debbie did a great job MCing the whole thing as well as performing.



I lost my phone last night, well, Mom lost the phone. She must have picked it up this morning and put it somewhere in her room. I looked all over for it, but I couldn't find it. I was really upset over this. A new phone is something we don't have money for but what can we do. I need a phone as that is the only one we have. Of course I didn't get insurance for it, since I have never lost a phone, but I did this time. I also am going to buy an address book so I can put all my phone numbers in it as everything was in my phone. Yup, wasn't that smart of me? Not one of my brightest moments.

Mom was okay last night, I didn't give her her anxiety meds with the unisom but I certainly will tonight. She has it rough when I don't do that. I will from now on as I know she can have a good night with that combination. The rest of what she does (wandering) is manageable if we both have a good night.

Pain isn't so bad despite me being totally ticked off, so I am impressed with the level. I had planned on taking mom to dinner for Valentine's day, but since I had to buy a new phone I won't be able to.

I hope your day is great! Have a good Valentine's Day!

Last night was a dream! Mom had a great night sleep. She stayed in the bed the first time I put her there. I did have to go into her room a couple of times to answer questions, but other than that, she went right to sleep. I am soooooo happy!!! I got some sleep. And, she didn't wake up in the middle of the night either! What an awesome night. Right now, she is a bit restless, but I am printing the concert program for this afternoon. I had it printed last night but somehow, 2 songs got removed from the list, so I have to re print. Just a second, I need to print the other side. Back in a flash!

Boy, I didn't realize I made a mistake on the cover, it accidentally went to two pages, Fixed that one in a jiffy! I can't wait until the concert. It will be small, but nothing I can do about that. 3 dropped out last night because Mom isn't feeling well. It will be fun even though they will be missed. I hope Debbie will have time after to go and get something to eat and maybe with Katie Parak and Kramer too. We shall see.

Hayley stopped by last night, she got here late because she was held up at the border. I know what that is like! It is a pain! Anyways, she arrived safely at my house so I was happy that she and Justice arrived. She showed me the stuff she ordered and boy was the stuff cute. I don't have any need for anything like that right now, but in the future, one never knows. She and Justice are on their way to Mexico! I hope they have a great trip. She needs the vacation and so does her daughter. Both are tired and having a very busy schedule.

Mom is doing well today. pain level isn't that high today and I am ready for the concert! I hope your day is going to be as good as mine!