It has been a pretty good day. We have a bit more snow, but not too much. My car is not covered. The warmer weather melted the snow off my little car! I simply love my little car. It is a ford Focus and I have had very good luck with this one. I really like it a lot. I do hope to keep it for a long time because I don't drive very much any more. I am thankful that I have the car for when I do need to go somewhere. My brother, Andrew, actually picked it out for me. The original one he picked out though had the loud mufflers on it and a couple of other extras that I didn't want so I went with a different one, same color. I will, however, avoid getting a red car again as it is a target color for police or so I have heard. I have only had 1 speeding ticket in it from 2006 right after I got it. I was following Richard on our way on vacation. Richard was going in and out of traffic and that got us both in trouble. We both got tickets. His children had a good chuckle at that because big brother got little sister in trouble. They teased their Dad about that the entire trip. We were much more careful going home. I really try not to speed anymore. I like taking my time to view the world around me. I find speeding causes me to worry about getting tickets and getting caught so I just don't do it much anymore.
I have been feeling a bit better today although I didn't sleep well at all last night. I was just so afraid until about 5 am. I am afraid sometimes at night of break ins. Now, I live in a relatively safe neighborhood, we have been blessed to not have a break in since I was a child but sometimes I have trouble sleeping between 2 and 5. Once 5 am comes, I am out like a light for the rest of the morning. I have a new plan for this if it happens again tonight. It has been a long while since I have had this happen to me. I have had nights I couldn't sleep very well, but those nights were due to pain not to fear.
I had one lesson today. As of right now, it is the last lesson of Stephanie. Her solo and ensemble performance is next week, Saturday. She is close to being ready. She wasn't feeling too well today because she is coming down with a cold. I do hope I do not get it. I don't need another one this year. I have had 2 and they were pretty bad.
I have 5 lessons tomorrow. I am rather excited about that. I have lessons from 12 noon to 4 pm. I haven't heard from Rachel and Rebecca so i don't know if they are coming at 4 or not. If they do, great, if they don't, well that isn't too good as they haven't had lessons for a month. Competition is next month and they are not prepared at this point. I am getting worried. They wanted to come about 1 but I have a student at that time so that is not possible. I let them know that 4 pm is available so who knows. I will just wait and see. I have a new student starting tomorrow with piano. It is the first new piano student since November when Alyssa started. I do hope Alyssa will be coming back now that January is over. The new student has a 45 minute lesson which is something I generally don't do, but with the new company, they offer it so I do it. I find that I am able to fill the 45 minutes pretty well. I do hope this adult stays. Tuesdays new adult only has scheduled one lesson and I am not really happy about that as I hate trial type lessons because generally they don't stay. I do think you have to give lessons at least a few weeks to see if it is something you would like to stick too.
All in all, it has been a pretty good day. I slept in a lot again due to not sleeping well last night. I am heading for bed early because I need to be up a bit early tomorrow. I don't mind. It is good to get up for a good reason. Mondays and Saturdays are my best days of the week since they are the busiest. I really like those two days a lot.
I do hope you are having a good day.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A better day
It is such a better day today, although I really slept in. I think a week without my thyroid medicine has taken a toll on me. Oops, I just didn't have the money until today so what could I do? Well, when my friend, Donna found out I hadn't been taken it, she was horrified. She told me next time to ask her to borrow the money and pay her back when I get the money. I hoping that with the adjusting of when money comes in, this will not happen again. I figured it was okay to miss the thyroid stuff for a brief period, but boy I am even more tired than usual. It is crazy. I slept until 2:30 this afternoon! I mean, I went to bed at midnight. Yeah, crazy. I think I am taking too much Tylenol PM too so I am going to cut back 1 and see if that helps.
I only have my normal chronic headache today. I have given up on trying to get help with it because nothing has worked and as the specialist said, there isn't too much they can do about these types. What ever, I guess, nothing I can do about it. With the slight warm up of the temperature, in the 20's instead of zero, the hips are in better shape today. I think overall, today is a better day. I am not in as much pain as I have been and I am not so afraid today. Today, I am thinking more positive about stuff. I am going to start a bible study with myself to help with the fear that I have. My friend, Kathleen is taking it now and says it is a real eye opener on trust and other issues like that. I think it will help me a lot. I really do.
I didn't have Koffi for her lesson today. She had to cancel for some reason. I left a message with her mother and I do hope to her back from her about a makeup day. If I don't, then I will just mark the lesson because she didn't give too much notice, about an hour before the lesson was to be started. The company that I am working for has a strict policy and I am glad about that because it is frustrating to plan a lesson that is cancelled an hour before the lessons. However, I would prefer that we make up the lesson rather than she pay for a skipped lesson so I am not marking it until tomorrow. I am hoping I hear from her mom by then.
I have another new student starting Tuesday for an hour. He is 58 and wants to learn to sing properly. I am happy about all these new students. I now need 6 more. I may be getting my brother's best friend's son for a student too and that would mean I need 5 more. Things are progressing well for me now. I am still fearful, but today, it isn't consuming me like it did yesterday. i thinking writing it out and admitting it out loud to my friends made a huge difference. It also made me realize that I am not alone which is another big help. I am so thankful and blessed to have such good friends, really I am.
Since I didn't have a lesson this afternoon, I went grocery shopping earlier than planned. This was a good thing as the roads are getting slightly bad with the snow that is coming down. It looks so beautiful though and the way the snow sits on the branches of the bushes is simply gorgeous, it gives me a queer ache inside because it is so beautiful. I love looking at the snow, I just don't love driving in it nor do I love the super cold weather of the snow sometimes. Today, the temperature is a bit warmer and with my new warm coat, I was toasty warm inside. With my old coat, I would have been chilled, but not the new one. It is designed for super cold weather of Michigan. I picked up a few things for lunches now that I am not going to go to Tim Horton's everyday. It is just not fun anymore. I sit by myself and read. Well, it is starting to be a bit too expensive too so I need to cut back on that expense and only go every so often. I did go today because I had no lunch stuff yet in my house, but now I do. I didn't really need to pick up much in the meat department because I bought some last week. I am going to make the beef pot roast tomorrow. That will be yummy. I like cooking in the crock pot. I also remembered that I have a bit more chicken in the freezer so I didn't need to buy anymore of that. I think I am pretty well stocked up for the next few weeks. It is a good thing, I think. I am getting much better at cooking for one or cooking for more and splitting the meal for more than one meal. I think this will help me lose weight as I am buying healthier food for me.
Not much happening this evening. I am working on my plan of attack, as I call it, for organizing the house. Next week I plan to start working on the house so that by spring, it is ready for visitors and looking simply splendid. I do love my house. I have such good memories here. Yes, I used to have the bad memories too, but the nice thing about Fibro
All in all, a much better day. Less pain, less fear, make a better day. I do hope yours was good as well.
I only have my normal chronic headache today. I have given up on trying to get help with it because nothing has worked and as the specialist said, there isn't too much they can do about these types. What ever, I guess, nothing I can do about it. With the slight warm up of the temperature, in the 20's instead of zero, the hips are in better shape today. I think overall, today is a better day. I am not in as much pain as I have been and I am not so afraid today. Today, I am thinking more positive about stuff. I am going to start a bible study with myself to help with the fear that I have. My friend, Kathleen is taking it now and says it is a real eye opener on trust and other issues like that. I think it will help me a lot. I really do.
I didn't have Koffi for her lesson today. She had to cancel for some reason. I left a message with her mother and I do hope to her back from her about a makeup day. If I don't, then I will just mark the lesson because she didn't give too much notice, about an hour before the lesson was to be started. The company that I am working for has a strict policy and I am glad about that because it is frustrating to plan a lesson that is cancelled an hour before the lessons. However, I would prefer that we make up the lesson rather than she pay for a skipped lesson so I am not marking it until tomorrow. I am hoping I hear from her mom by then.
I have another new student starting Tuesday for an hour. He is 58 and wants to learn to sing properly. I am happy about all these new students. I now need 6 more. I may be getting my brother's best friend's son for a student too and that would mean I need 5 more. Things are progressing well for me now. I am still fearful, but today, it isn't consuming me like it did yesterday. i thinking writing it out and admitting it out loud to my friends made a huge difference. It also made me realize that I am not alone which is another big help. I am so thankful and blessed to have such good friends, really I am.
Since I didn't have a lesson this afternoon, I went grocery shopping earlier than planned. This was a good thing as the roads are getting slightly bad with the snow that is coming down. It looks so beautiful though and the way the snow sits on the branches of the bushes is simply gorgeous, it gives me a queer ache inside because it is so beautiful. I love looking at the snow, I just don't love driving in it nor do I love the super cold weather of the snow sometimes. Today, the temperature is a bit warmer and with my new warm coat, I was toasty warm inside. With my old coat, I would have been chilled, but not the new one. It is designed for super cold weather of Michigan. I picked up a few things for lunches now that I am not going to go to Tim Horton's everyday. It is just not fun anymore. I sit by myself and read. Well, it is starting to be a bit too expensive too so I need to cut back on that expense and only go every so often. I did go today because I had no lunch stuff yet in my house, but now I do. I didn't really need to pick up much in the meat department because I bought some last week. I am going to make the beef pot roast tomorrow. That will be yummy. I like cooking in the crock pot. I also remembered that I have a bit more chicken in the freezer so I didn't need to buy anymore of that. I think I am pretty well stocked up for the next few weeks. It is a good thing, I think. I am getting much better at cooking for one or cooking for more and splitting the meal for more than one meal. I think this will help me lose weight as I am buying healthier food for me.
Not much happening this evening. I am working on my plan of attack, as I call it, for organizing the house. Next week I plan to start working on the house so that by spring, it is ready for visitors and looking simply splendid. I do love my house. I have such good memories here. Yes, I used to have the bad memories too, but the nice thing about Fibro
All in all, a much better day. Less pain, less fear, make a better day. I do hope yours was good as well.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A realization
A blog I read, a Place called Simplicity, reminded me again today how consumed with fear I am. I have been ever since the start of summer when Mom went downhill. I am literally, at times, consumed by it. I am afraid of so many things now that I am alone and on my own. I am trying to really trust that God will take care of me, and I have much proof that He is, but still I am afraid. I needed new students to pay my bills, I got new students (I got another new one today that will start next week), I needed a way to stay in the house, I am able to stay in the house. I have been afraid to be alone, I now can sleep in the house comfortably alone, yet I am still consumed at times by fear. I need to break the chains of fear. I don't know how other than praying for that which I have done consistently for the last 3 months. I was afraid after Momma passed away I would get sicker than I already am, I didn't get sicker. I was so afraid that I would go into a flare or that the vasculitis that has been dormant for 7 years now, would show up again. It didn't. I have proof after proof that I am not alone, yet still, I am consumed by fear. I am at a loss of how to get out of this fear. I know that fear is not from God, but I can't get up from under it. When I get scared, I go and take a nap because then I don't focus on it. I sleep way to much at times. I am glad that I am getting to teach more lessons because that brings me out of fear while I am teaching and sometimes even after I am done teaching. I am afraid to stop missing Mom because will that mean I will forget Mom? I don't know. I just know I am completely, most of the time, consumed by fear. I need help in breaking this cycle. I have never been such a fearful person as I am right now. I feel like I am walking in mud and fear is holding me back. I don't like this feeling. I want to stop being afraid of everything all the time. I don't remember how to stop being afraid, it has been here since May when I first took Mom to the hospital and it hasn't left me yet. What do I do? I have been praying about it a lot. I ask God to take the fear away every night, and it is still here. I need to stop being afraid and start living again, right now, I am just existing.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
a better day
It has been a much better day today. No tears for the day, thank goodness! It is just a normal missing mom day. It seems so strange to be living here in the house while she is in Heaven but I don't want to live anywhere else. Sometimes, I can feel her presence in the house and I like that.
I had a new student this afternoon. I was getting kind of worried because he was 15 minutes late. It was okay because I didn't have anyone after him, so that was fine. He seems very interested in learning to sing properly and get back to where he thinks he was a few years ago before a horrible accident. He has a nice sound. We started with the usual, Caro Mio Ben and he did very well. He has the list of books he needs to get for next week. I didn't have him get a Broadway book because I have a couple that I really like and couldn't choose between them which ones I wanted him to get. What can I say? I have some great books.
I am going to go to Windsor for a couple of hours tomorrow. I haven't been there since December. I don't know when the Windsor people are going to come and visit me anytime soon, but that is okay. I am mostly doing alright. Yes, I have my bad days, as noted from yesterday, but overall, I am adjusting to this new life alright. It isn't always easy, but it is my life now. I am hoping that I will see Richard and family in the summer. That is my goal. Kathy is hopefully going to be able to come and visit in a few weeks and spend the weekend. I can't wait for that because we will have fun. I have book club next Saturday, which will actually be the first time we have had book club since Momma passed away in October. In December when we were supposed to have book club, Maggie took me to lunch instead. I had a good time. It was nice to visit with her since I hadn't actually visited her since September. She was at the viewing and the funeral, but that isn't a place for visiting as I was rather busy and upset at the time. It was one of the hardest days of my life. I don't think anything else will ever be so hard.
It has been a good day today. I even braved the cold to go get dinner. I just wasn't into cooking anything today so off to taco bell I went. I haven't been out since Friday because it has been so cold. It is finally warming up a bit, if you call in the 20s warm, compared to below zero, it is down right balmy! I have several students this week. I do need to get the piano books for the next new student on Saturday. He is an adult and has always wanted to know how to play the piano so he is starting this Saturday. I am hopeful for 7 more students with this new company. They send email updates on your profile page once a week which is really nice because you can see how many people checked out the profile. They do not use last names or any other identifying information unless you sign up. Even then, they don't know the last name. I love teaching out of the house. I have decided that I am not going to to change that anytime soon because it is so nice to have them come here for lessons. It is so convenient if I need some music, I just turn on the computer and look it up then go down the stairs to pull the music out. Very helpful if I need something right away. I did find some other music that needs to be put away. I will work on this during this week. I would like to have all the music put away by the end of the weekend. Then I plan to organize the CDs. I found some more the other day that have been sitting next to me on the floor next to the piano for a good 8 to 9 months and didn't realize they were there. What a lovely surprise it was to find them. Several of them were ones I have needed recently so I was very happy to find them. My CDsCDs will take a little bit longer but since there are some in order, I just have to put the CDs where they belong. Then I will be up to day with the music. Give me 2 weeks and I will be done. The one thing I do want to get soon is an all in one printer with copier capability. It will help not lose music. I have several binders and I want to create some binders for each vocal student with extra songs we will be doing but I won't have to loan out the music. I am trying not to loan out too much music as that is how it gets lost. Binders are so much easier plus the student gets to keep a copy of the music. As an educator, by law, I am allowed 1 copy per student for educational purposes only. I always have the original music with me whenever there is a performance or competition.
Overall, a much better day. I do hope tomorrow is a good day too. It is not supposed to be very cold like it has been which is good. I am very glad about that.
I had a new student this afternoon. I was getting kind of worried because he was 15 minutes late. It was okay because I didn't have anyone after him, so that was fine. He seems very interested in learning to sing properly and get back to where he thinks he was a few years ago before a horrible accident. He has a nice sound. We started with the usual, Caro Mio Ben and he did very well. He has the list of books he needs to get for next week. I didn't have him get a Broadway book because I have a couple that I really like and couldn't choose between them which ones I wanted him to get. What can I say? I have some great books.
I am going to go to Windsor for a couple of hours tomorrow. I haven't been there since December. I don't know when the Windsor people are going to come and visit me anytime soon, but that is okay. I am mostly doing alright. Yes, I have my bad days, as noted from yesterday, but overall, I am adjusting to this new life alright. It isn't always easy, but it is my life now. I am hoping that I will see Richard and family in the summer. That is my goal. Kathy is hopefully going to be able to come and visit in a few weeks and spend the weekend. I can't wait for that because we will have fun. I have book club next Saturday, which will actually be the first time we have had book club since Momma passed away in October. In December when we were supposed to have book club, Maggie took me to lunch instead. I had a good time. It was nice to visit with her since I hadn't actually visited her since September. She was at the viewing and the funeral, but that isn't a place for visiting as I was rather busy and upset at the time. It was one of the hardest days of my life. I don't think anything else will ever be so hard.
It has been a good day today. I even braved the cold to go get dinner. I just wasn't into cooking anything today so off to taco bell I went. I haven't been out since Friday because it has been so cold. It is finally warming up a bit, if you call in the 20s warm, compared to below zero, it is down right balmy! I have several students this week. I do need to get the piano books for the next new student on Saturday. He is an adult and has always wanted to know how to play the piano so he is starting this Saturday. I am hopeful for 7 more students with this new company. They send email updates on your profile page once a week which is really nice because you can see how many people checked out the profile. They do not use last names or any other identifying information unless you sign up. Even then, they don't know the last name. I love teaching out of the house. I have decided that I am not going to to change that anytime soon because it is so nice to have them come here for lessons. It is so convenient if I need some music, I just turn on the computer and look it up then go down the stairs to pull the music out. Very helpful if I need something right away. I did find some other music that needs to be put away. I will work on this during this week. I would like to have all the music put away by the end of the weekend. Then I plan to organize the CDs. I found some more the other day that have been sitting next to me on the floor next to the piano for a good 8 to 9 months and didn't realize they were there. What a lovely surprise it was to find them. Several of them were ones I have needed recently so I was very happy to find them. My CDsCDs will take a little bit longer but since there are some in order, I just have to put the CDs where they belong. Then I will be up to day with the music. Give me 2 weeks and I will be done. The one thing I do want to get soon is an all in one printer with copier capability. It will help not lose music. I have several binders and I want to create some binders for each vocal student with extra songs we will be doing but I won't have to loan out the music. I am trying not to loan out too much music as that is how it gets lost. Binders are so much easier plus the student gets to keep a copy of the music. As an educator, by law, I am allowed 1 copy per student for educational purposes only. I always have the original music with me whenever there is a performance or competition.
Overall, a much better day. I do hope tomorrow is a good day too. It is not supposed to be very cold like it has been which is good. I am very glad about that.
Monday, January 24, 2011
monday
It is a bad missing Momma day. It has been since last night. Tears and more tears. It hurts worse than the physical fibro pain I have. I can't seem to get a hold of myself today. yesterday, I spent most of the day in bed as I also have a very bad headache. I still have it. I don't know. It doesn't seem to get any better. I just want my mom. That's all. Nothing more, just my Mom. I know she is gone, but I still want her.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
brrr, it is so cold outside
I think I slept the day away. I am so tired and my head hurts pretty bad today. I got up rather late and was still so tired that I had to go and lay back down. It is just one of those type days. I will be heading for bed early tonight too. I am just so exhausted today. I didn't go out at all today because it is so cold out and no reason to go out. I decided yesterday that I wasn't going to go out today because it was going to be so cold. Well, it is really cold out. Around zero without the windchill. I don't know how cold it is out with the windchill, below zero I imagine. I am not liking the cold this year. It didn't seem to bother me so much last year like it is this year. I am not sure why. Tomorrow I have 4 lessons as usual so that is good. I have a new student on Tuesday and another new on Saturday. Wednesday, I have to go to Windsor for a bit before teaching at 4 pm. It will be a nice and busy week. I like that in a week. I dread downtime at times. It depends on what I want to do during the downtime. Sometimes it is nice to have it. It comes in handy when you don't feel well to. It was good that I didn't have to teach today since my head is so sore. I do hope it goes down to normal by tomorrow in time for teaching. Sometimes, teaching helps the head relax a bit too.
It is a normal pain day for everything else except the head. I am way more tired than usual for some odd reason. it is a normal missing mom day, although with not feeling well today, it is nice to be able to rest and not worry about her. Though, I would rather have to worry about her than have her not here.
I do hope your day was fine and everything okay. i hope you are warm during this cold spell.
It is a normal pain day for everything else except the head. I am way more tired than usual for some odd reason. it is a normal missing mom day, although with not feeling well today, it is nice to be able to rest and not worry about her. Though, I would rather have to worry about her than have her not here.
I do hope your day was fine and everything okay. i hope you are warm during this cold spell.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Cold outside
It is so cold outside today! I am staying in the house for the evening. I am not going out and I don't foresee me going out tomorrow either. It is just so cold out. I am toasty warm in the house today and loving every minute of it. It is a good day around here. I had 4 lessons this afternoon, Katie, Amanda, Kayla, and Amanda P. All are doing very well with lessons. Katie is getting ready for competition. She is working on Ave Maria by Schubert for her Classical piece. She has it almost down pat. Her Broadway piece, I could Have Danced All Night is pretty much almost ready. My three newer ones are doing well too. Over all, I must say I am pleased with how the students are doing.
It is a normal missing Mom day, not a bad one, just the normal one. I changed the wallpaper in my phone to a different picture of her. I have several good pictures of the little lady. On my computer are many more pictures of Mom too. There are some with me.
I am starting to work on losing some of this weight. I am not going to be going to the usual anymore unless it is to meet someone for tea. I need to cut back on spending, but I also need to cut back on junk food and eat more healthy food. I bought some pop for here at home because I do like it, although I will be cutting back how much I drink of it. I have some nice fruit cups that I do like, I just don't think about eating them because I don't normally have them here at home. Well, I got them now and will eat them. i also got some bananas, which I also like. I do like fruit. I just don't eat enough of it. I have bought some more meat that isn't prepackaged so that is good too. I think I have gained a bit of weight since Mom passed away and that is not good. I need to lose the weight, not gain it so I will be working hard on that. That is my new goal. I have been working on the machines downstairs a bit, but I can't do very much of them. I have looked to see about swimming but there really isn't anywhere near by for me to go. I will keep looking until I find something I can afford. With more students, maybe I can afford something near by. So far, the ones I have looked into are very expensive. I will keep looking.
I worked a bit on the plan of the house. I also worked on the to do list. Some of the stuff is weekly to do, but some of it is not. I am working on my weekly house work to figure out what day to do what so I don't over do it. I don't want to over do it at all.
Overall, it has been a decent day. I am relaxing now after a busy afternoon. I like when I have busy afternoons and evenings, it makes me feel better over all. I am going to read for a bit before I make any dinner. I hope it has been a good day for you too! Stay warm! It is cold in so many places today!
It is a normal missing Mom day, not a bad one, just the normal one. I changed the wallpaper in my phone to a different picture of her. I have several good pictures of the little lady. On my computer are many more pictures of Mom too. There are some with me.
I am starting to work on losing some of this weight. I am not going to be going to the usual anymore unless it is to meet someone for tea. I need to cut back on spending, but I also need to cut back on junk food and eat more healthy food. I bought some pop for here at home because I do like it, although I will be cutting back how much I drink of it. I have some nice fruit cups that I do like, I just don't think about eating them because I don't normally have them here at home. Well, I got them now and will eat them. i also got some bananas, which I also like. I do like fruit. I just don't eat enough of it. I have bought some more meat that isn't prepackaged so that is good too. I think I have gained a bit of weight since Mom passed away and that is not good. I need to lose the weight, not gain it so I will be working hard on that. That is my new goal. I have been working on the machines downstairs a bit, but I can't do very much of them. I have looked to see about swimming but there really isn't anywhere near by for me to go. I will keep looking until I find something I can afford. With more students, maybe I can afford something near by. So far, the ones I have looked into are very expensive. I will keep looking.
I worked a bit on the plan of the house. I also worked on the to do list. Some of the stuff is weekly to do, but some of it is not. I am working on my weekly house work to figure out what day to do what so I don't over do it. I don't want to over do it at all.
Overall, it has been a decent day. I am relaxing now after a busy afternoon. I like when I have busy afternoons and evenings, it makes me feel better over all. I am going to read for a bit before I make any dinner. I hope it has been a good day for you too! Stay warm! It is cold in so many places today!
Friday, January 21, 2011
paperwork friday
I turned in all the paperwork. Well, I hope it was all the paperwork. I couldn't turn in my pay stub because I haven't gotten my first paycheck from takelessons.com yet. I get it on the 5th so that is good. I have a busy afternoon tomorrow. I have 4 lessons so I am excited about that. I had Stephanie's this afternoon. She is doing pretty well for just starting the song. She does have one piece pretty much memorized. She has solo and ensemble in 2 weeks now. I will see her on Wednesday next week for 90 minutes. I was nervous about the length of the lesson, but it goes pretty quick, so I am happy about that. I have another solo and ensemble student tomorrow. Both these students are temporary ones, but I do hope they turn into permanent ones, but if they don't that is okay.
It is so cold here. It is supposed to be in the single digits this weekend. Thank goodness I have a nice new parka to help keep me warm. I also have a nice warm scarf and hat. My gloves aren't that warm, but I have warmer ones if needed. I do hope where you are is warmer than it is here. We are also supposed to get more snow. I think this is the weekend to stay home. Thank goodness I got groceries yesterday! Oh, wait, I have to get some medicine tomorrow. Ugh. that means I have to go out tomorrow. I need the medicine or I would wait to next week. I do have to go to Windsor next week for the afternoon. I am going on Wednesday. I will be going to Tillie's for lunch. I have some business to attend to and then lunch. I need to be home by 4 pm for Stephanie's lesson. I don't anticipate that being a problem. I am planning to arrive by 10 am so that I can leave by 1:30 after lunch. I haven't actually seen Tillie since December at the family party and she was very busy that day. I was having a rough day that day so I left early. It was the 2 month anniversary of Momma's passing and it just hit me pretty hard. It occurred to me that everyone there had someone except me, whether it was children, significant other, or mom, and I had no one. They all had a little family of their own and I don't. My little family is gone. It just wasn't a good day for me. I was glad Darrin left early so that I could leave before dark too. When I am that upset, it is best to leave before dark. I have better contacts now so that is good, I can read street signs again. I am frightened at times about my eyes and the macular degeneration. Sometimes when I am typing the words are blurry and no matter what I do I can't get them to clear up. It isn't everyday, but it is often enough that it drives me crazy. Eyes are so important. I know it is something I need to keep an eye on. I do see better with the new contacts. They are a new kind that allows lots of oxygen through so I no longer have the oxygen deprivation problem in my left eye.
I don't have any plans for Sunday right now. Phoebe is supposed to stop by tomorrow afternoon to drop off the ladder. I am hoping to see Peggy soon, I am not sure when. As soon as Wendy is feeling better we will be meeting for tea. She is so nice. I wish we were closer in high school and the years after. Well, we are friends now and that is what counts. She is one of the friends that came to the viewing of Mom. I really appreciated all my friends and family who came for those two days. They were pretty awful. I hope to never go through anything that awful again.
It has been a productive day for a change. I did take a nap after I went to drop the paperwork off. I didn't want to mail them because it could get lost in the mail and I don't want to lose that stuff so I dropped it off the the drop box. The office is rather close to my house so it was no big deal. I copied everything and then stuffed it in the envelope. Now my dining room table has paperwork all over it again. I will put the bills in the bill file tomorrow. I am too tired to do this tonight.
I hope you had a good day. It was for me. I feel good when I get stuff done. I hope that next week is productive too. There are days when I feel like my old self again. It happens more often than it did in a while. I still have rough days though, I miss Momma all the time, but I am slowly reconstructing my world to a world without her. I never really thought I would, yes, I know, that is awfully naive but that is me. It is a world that I am slowly muddling through. Some days, I am just treading water, while others I am drowning and some I am floating. All in all, I am finding my strength, the strength I didn't think I had. I guess I do have some, I just don't know how much. i know Mom would want me to be strong. That I know for sure. She always said she wanted me to be strong and stand on my own two feet. Well, I need a bit of help, with the standing on my own two feet, but I am doing alright.
It is so cold here. It is supposed to be in the single digits this weekend. Thank goodness I have a nice new parka to help keep me warm. I also have a nice warm scarf and hat. My gloves aren't that warm, but I have warmer ones if needed. I do hope where you are is warmer than it is here. We are also supposed to get more snow. I think this is the weekend to stay home. Thank goodness I got groceries yesterday! Oh, wait, I have to get some medicine tomorrow. Ugh. that means I have to go out tomorrow. I need the medicine or I would wait to next week. I do have to go to Windsor next week for the afternoon. I am going on Wednesday. I will be going to Tillie's for lunch. I have some business to attend to and then lunch. I need to be home by 4 pm for Stephanie's lesson. I don't anticipate that being a problem. I am planning to arrive by 10 am so that I can leave by 1:30 after lunch. I haven't actually seen Tillie since December at the family party and she was very busy that day. I was having a rough day that day so I left early. It was the 2 month anniversary of Momma's passing and it just hit me pretty hard. It occurred to me that everyone there had someone except me, whether it was children, significant other, or mom, and I had no one. They all had a little family of their own and I don't. My little family is gone. It just wasn't a good day for me. I was glad Darrin left early so that I could leave before dark too. When I am that upset, it is best to leave before dark. I have better contacts now so that is good, I can read street signs again. I am frightened at times about my eyes and the macular degeneration. Sometimes when I am typing the words are blurry and no matter what I do I can't get them to clear up. It isn't everyday, but it is often enough that it drives me crazy. Eyes are so important. I know it is something I need to keep an eye on. I do see better with the new contacts. They are a new kind that allows lots of oxygen through so I no longer have the oxygen deprivation problem in my left eye.
I don't have any plans for Sunday right now. Phoebe is supposed to stop by tomorrow afternoon to drop off the ladder. I am hoping to see Peggy soon, I am not sure when. As soon as Wendy is feeling better we will be meeting for tea. She is so nice. I wish we were closer in high school and the years after. Well, we are friends now and that is what counts. She is one of the friends that came to the viewing of Mom. I really appreciated all my friends and family who came for those two days. They were pretty awful. I hope to never go through anything that awful again.
It has been a productive day for a change. I did take a nap after I went to drop the paperwork off. I didn't want to mail them because it could get lost in the mail and I don't want to lose that stuff so I dropped it off the the drop box. The office is rather close to my house so it was no big deal. I copied everything and then stuffed it in the envelope. Now my dining room table has paperwork all over it again. I will put the bills in the bill file tomorrow. I am too tired to do this tonight.
I hope you had a good day. It was for me. I feel good when I get stuff done. I hope that next week is productive too. There are days when I feel like my old self again. It happens more often than it did in a while. I still have rough days though, I miss Momma all the time, but I am slowly reconstructing my world to a world without her. I never really thought I would, yes, I know, that is awfully naive but that is me. It is a world that I am slowly muddling through. Some days, I am just treading water, while others I am drowning and some I am floating. All in all, I am finding my strength, the strength I didn't think I had. I guess I do have some, I just don't know how much. i know Mom would want me to be strong. That I know for sure. She always said she wanted me to be strong and stand on my own two feet. Well, I need a bit of help, with the standing on my own two feet, but I am doing alright.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
a better day - but more snow!
I woke up late again today. I have got to get out of this bad habit. I have to copy some stuff to send in. I am planning to copy them tomorrow and then drop them off. I only have until tomorrow to do this so I have to get this done. I can't not do this.
I had another new student this afternoon. She is very nice and so is her mom. She was a few minutes late because they got lost. They had to call the company to get directions to my house. they were about 5 to 7 minutes late. That was okay as I don't have anyone else today. Besides, it was the first lesson and you have to make allowances for timing on the first one. I am excited to work with all my new students. I do hope that they all have their books soon. I am running out of books to loan out. I have to pull some solo and ensemble music tomorrow for Amanda P tomorrow for Saturday. I have Stephanie again tomorrow. She is singing a song in French and it is very hard for her. We worked on it for almost the entire 90 minutes yesterday for her lesson. We shall see how much she practiced. I hope she practiced a lot. Solo and ensemble is only a few weeks away. Amanda is going to solo and ensemble too and she hasn't picked her 2nd song yet. I have a few ideas of songs that I think she will like. I am excited about Saturday because I have 4 students that day. Next Saturday, I will have 5 lessons.
I am possibly going to see Peggy this weekend. I am not sure though. I do hope so. It would be fun. I have gift certificates that I can use.
I went grocery shopping today. I forgot to bring some cash for the medicine I need to pick up so I will have to do that tomorrow. Oh well, not a big deal. I will get the synthroid tomorrow. I don't really want to go all the way to Walmart again, but I don't have a choice since that is where my medicine is filled at. It is that time of month when my medicines all need to be refilled. A few of them are refilled every few months though so that is good. It makes the monthly cost cheaper.
I am still so tired. I don't feel like I have completely regained my strength from getting the cold earlier this month. I still feel so wiped out with it. It is really getting annoying. I am tired of sleeping so much. I am going to go to bed earlier tonight with the hopes that I get up earlier. I want to be up by 11:30 latest. 11:00 would be better as I have things to do. I want to get the stuff done early so I can be ready for the lesson at 4:30. I am just so tired.
I am watching My First Place. It is too funny to see people go into the potential house/condo's bathroom and complain that it is outdated and it looks fine. They do that for the kitchens too. Makes me wonder what they would say about our house as our bathrooms have never been redone. Our kitchen, however, was redone in the late 90's and Mom did a great job. Hayley would like me to repaint the dining room and kitchen but that is not on the top of my list of things to do. I like the color, actually so I am not sure I would repaint it. There are rooms I would like to repaint, but that is not on the list for right now. I have to save money to do any changes of the house. I rather like the house the way it is. I like the way our house looks. The only changes I see I need to make are to the yard right now. I am hoping that Addison or his dad will be able to trim the bushes in the back yard. I need the garden in the back yard weeded and the stones put back in. I need a new bush in the corner of the garden. Also, in front of the house will need some bushes too. Andrew ripped them out and never put anything back. I would like something there. That probably won't get done until next summer, not this one, but the next one, but that is okay. I don't mind. I have time to deal with this stuff. I still need to decide where to start with the house. I have an idea of where I want to start and what I want to do. I will start in a couple of weeks so I need to make sure I am not as exhausted as I am right now.
Well, I am heading to bed soon. I am just so tired. I hope I get a good sleep and wake up nice and refreshed! Okay, now I am dreaming! I just hope I am not as tired as I have been all day. That is my goal. I do hope your day has been good too!
I had another new student this afternoon. She is very nice and so is her mom. She was a few minutes late because they got lost. They had to call the company to get directions to my house. they were about 5 to 7 minutes late. That was okay as I don't have anyone else today. Besides, it was the first lesson and you have to make allowances for timing on the first one. I am excited to work with all my new students. I do hope that they all have their books soon. I am running out of books to loan out. I have to pull some solo and ensemble music tomorrow for Amanda P tomorrow for Saturday. I have Stephanie again tomorrow. She is singing a song in French and it is very hard for her. We worked on it for almost the entire 90 minutes yesterday for her lesson. We shall see how much she practiced. I hope she practiced a lot. Solo and ensemble is only a few weeks away. Amanda is going to solo and ensemble too and she hasn't picked her 2nd song yet. I have a few ideas of songs that I think she will like. I am excited about Saturday because I have 4 students that day. Next Saturday, I will have 5 lessons.
I am possibly going to see Peggy this weekend. I am not sure though. I do hope so. It would be fun. I have gift certificates that I can use.
I went grocery shopping today. I forgot to bring some cash for the medicine I need to pick up so I will have to do that tomorrow. Oh well, not a big deal. I will get the synthroid tomorrow. I don't really want to go all the way to Walmart again, but I don't have a choice since that is where my medicine is filled at. It is that time of month when my medicines all need to be refilled. A few of them are refilled every few months though so that is good. It makes the monthly cost cheaper.
I am still so tired. I don't feel like I have completely regained my strength from getting the cold earlier this month. I still feel so wiped out with it. It is really getting annoying. I am tired of sleeping so much. I am going to go to bed earlier tonight with the hopes that I get up earlier. I want to be up by 11:30 latest. 11:00 would be better as I have things to do. I want to get the stuff done early so I can be ready for the lesson at 4:30. I am just so tired.
I am watching My First Place. It is too funny to see people go into the potential house/condo's bathroom and complain that it is outdated and it looks fine. They do that for the kitchens too. Makes me wonder what they would say about our house as our bathrooms have never been redone. Our kitchen, however, was redone in the late 90's and Mom did a great job. Hayley would like me to repaint the dining room and kitchen but that is not on the top of my list of things to do. I like the color, actually so I am not sure I would repaint it. There are rooms I would like to repaint, but that is not on the list for right now. I have to save money to do any changes of the house. I rather like the house the way it is. I like the way our house looks. The only changes I see I need to make are to the yard right now. I am hoping that Addison or his dad will be able to trim the bushes in the back yard. I need the garden in the back yard weeded and the stones put back in. I need a new bush in the corner of the garden. Also, in front of the house will need some bushes too. Andrew ripped them out and never put anything back. I would like something there. That probably won't get done until next summer, not this one, but the next one, but that is okay. I don't mind. I have time to deal with this stuff. I still need to decide where to start with the house. I have an idea of where I want to start and what I want to do. I will start in a couple of weeks so I need to make sure I am not as exhausted as I am right now.
Well, I am heading to bed soon. I am just so tired. I hope I get a good sleep and wake up nice and refreshed! Okay, now I am dreaming! I just hope I am not as tired as I have been all day. That is my goal. I do hope your day has been good too!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
a slightly bummed out day
I am a bit bummed out today. The new adult student that I thought was all excited to learn to sing better and all that, well, he quit. Yup, after one lesson, he quit. So, since his girlfriend paid for 3 classes I will be refunding 2 of them to her. I didn't put the money in the bank yet, so I still have it in the piggy bank. Also, my 2 fish are dead. Yup, that too. I guess I am not any good at taking care of fish. That kind of makes me sad too. What can I say? it is not my day. I do hope the new student I have this afternoon, for 90 minutes, (I am a bit worried about how long the lesson is) goes well. She has a performance in 3 weeks. I don't know what her worries are about or anything or why they think 90 minutes is needed 2 times a week, I just don't know yet. I shall find out soon enough as they arrive in 25 minutes.
I plan to do some grocery shopping this week. I need to pick up a few things. Not too many, just a few. I also need to go to Windsor next week. I haven't been there in a month.
Yesterday, was the 3 month anniversary of Momma's death. I am a bit better than I was in October, but I still miss her so much. At times, it seems unreal that I won't see her sitting in the living room or coming down the stairs or hearing her call my name. I just can't believe that I won't be with her everyday like I was. I wonder how my brothers are doing, but they are always like, move forward, don't look back. Well, I miss Momma, how can I not look back? She wasn't a big part of their lives like she was mine. For a couple of years at the end, she was my life. I miss taking care of her. I miss her all the time and I am not so sure that will ever change. I know I can move on with my life, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her because I do. I just miss her a lot.
I hope today improves some, because it is just not my day. I am looking forward to the lesson I will teach. That will be in 15 minutes.
I do hope your day is good.
I plan to do some grocery shopping this week. I need to pick up a few things. Not too many, just a few. I also need to go to Windsor next week. I haven't been there in a month.
Yesterday, was the 3 month anniversary of Momma's death. I am a bit better than I was in October, but I still miss her so much. At times, it seems unreal that I won't see her sitting in the living room or coming down the stairs or hearing her call my name. I just can't believe that I won't be with her everyday like I was. I wonder how my brothers are doing, but they are always like, move forward, don't look back. Well, I miss Momma, how can I not look back? She wasn't a big part of their lives like she was mine. For a couple of years at the end, she was my life. I miss taking care of her. I miss her all the time and I am not so sure that will ever change. I know I can move on with my life, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her because I do. I just miss her a lot.
I hope today improves some, because it is just not my day. I am looking forward to the lesson I will teach. That will be in 15 minutes.
I do hope your day is good.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday
I had 2 lessons today. I was a bit nervous over the new lesson because you never know how adults will react to classical music. He was all for it. I was very excited about that. He seemed to like the song we started with and the broadway one too so that is good. He needs to purchase 2 books. Since I am not wanting to limit his range (he has a nice wide one) with picking 1 Broadway book so I will just loan out what he needs. I copied his music this afternoon and the CDs too. I will get him a binder (I have some downstairs) and page protectors. He is very nice. Charlie had his lesson too and he is doing pretty well with musical interpretation etudes. They are rather hard, but he is doing alright with them.
Tomorrow I have a new student that is a temporary student. She has a performance on February 5 and wants some help with her music. She is actually coming Wednesday and Friday for 90 minutes. I am not sure the 90 minutes is necessary, but I will find out. Usually, an hour is the most that people have for lessons so this is new for me. We shall see where she is with the music that she is performing.
I also need to pull some music tomorrow for my new one on Thursday. The newest one on Saturday is going to solo and ensemble for school and needs one more song that is off the list. I will pull the alto books that are on the list or the ones I think are on the list. I figure by the end of the lesson we will have a song for her. I also have another new student next Saturday for piano. He is an adult. I spoke to him today. I will get the books for him and he will pay me back. It will be easier to pick up the books and then I know he will get the right ones.
This week I have students every day except on Sunday. It is the first time in a long time that I have lessons every day. I do know that the Wednesday and Friday student is just temporary, although it would be nice if she switched after the performance to a weekly student. I can only hope.
I had to turn the heat back up again. I just couldn't help it. I was so cold even with the little heater, I was still so cold. Now that I am on the special program that protects against getting the heat shut off. I pay the same amount every month for 18 months and then they look at how much heat I use and then make the adjustments for the next 18 months. I called them for information on the budget plan. They usually do the budget plans in May not January so that plan was out for me, but I am happy with what I have now. My electric bill is almost the same every month so I not worried about that. This new development really helps the budget a lot. I am glad about that.
I am tired a bit tonight. I was very tired earlier but then I perked up. I am almost over this cold. I think tonight I am not going to take the cold nighttime medicine because I think that is why I am so tired these last few weeks. We shall see if this helps. I sure hope so. I am tired of being even more tired than I always am. I need more energy to get through the day.
Tomorrow I hope to move all the violins so that I can take pictures of the shuffleboard for my cousin, Darrin's friend. I have to measure it too. I hope to have it gone by the end of the month. That would be nice. It would be nice too if he wanted the bar stools too but that is too much to hope for. I don't want them as they are in the way. I do want the round table and the chairs that go with it. It will be good for sewing. I have a couple of other tables for sewing too. I hope to have a nice sewing room by summer. The other half of the room will have a sofa and a chair with a TV and exercise equipment. I want to use it for exercising. I am keeping two of the exercising machines and the rest can go. I will put shelves along 2 walls so that we will have storage for sewing stuff and other things. I do need to eventually get another book shelf for the family room too. I like having one on each side of the sliding door and one of them went into the living room. I am going to move the DVDs and all my books back downstairs to the book shelves. It will be better for them as I like to watch DVDs while I exercise. The family room will be awesome when I finish with it. First thing, is getting rid of the shuffleboard. It is in the way right now. Of course, nothing will be done until after tax season except for moving the shuffleboard out of the room.
All in all, it has a good day. I hope your day was good too. I am excited that I have a good week planned.
Tomorrow I have a new student that is a temporary student. She has a performance on February 5 and wants some help with her music. She is actually coming Wednesday and Friday for 90 minutes. I am not sure the 90 minutes is necessary, but I will find out. Usually, an hour is the most that people have for lessons so this is new for me. We shall see where she is with the music that she is performing.
I also need to pull some music tomorrow for my new one on Thursday. The newest one on Saturday is going to solo and ensemble for school and needs one more song that is off the list. I will pull the alto books that are on the list or the ones I think are on the list. I figure by the end of the lesson we will have a song for her. I also have another new student next Saturday for piano. He is an adult. I spoke to him today. I will get the books for him and he will pay me back. It will be easier to pick up the books and then I know he will get the right ones.
This week I have students every day except on Sunday. It is the first time in a long time that I have lessons every day. I do know that the Wednesday and Friday student is just temporary, although it would be nice if she switched after the performance to a weekly student. I can only hope.
I had to turn the heat back up again. I just couldn't help it. I was so cold even with the little heater, I was still so cold. Now that I am on the special program that protects against getting the heat shut off. I pay the same amount every month for 18 months and then they look at how much heat I use and then make the adjustments for the next 18 months. I called them for information on the budget plan. They usually do the budget plans in May not January so that plan was out for me, but I am happy with what I have now. My electric bill is almost the same every month so I not worried about that. This new development really helps the budget a lot. I am glad about that.
I am tired a bit tonight. I was very tired earlier but then I perked up. I am almost over this cold. I think tonight I am not going to take the cold nighttime medicine because I think that is why I am so tired these last few weeks. We shall see if this helps. I sure hope so. I am tired of being even more tired than I always am. I need more energy to get through the day.
Tomorrow I hope to move all the violins so that I can take pictures of the shuffleboard for my cousin, Darrin's friend. I have to measure it too. I hope to have it gone by the end of the month. That would be nice. It would be nice too if he wanted the bar stools too but that is too much to hope for. I don't want them as they are in the way. I do want the round table and the chairs that go with it. It will be good for sewing. I have a couple of other tables for sewing too. I hope to have a nice sewing room by summer. The other half of the room will have a sofa and a chair with a TV and exercise equipment. I want to use it for exercising. I am keeping two of the exercising machines and the rest can go. I will put shelves along 2 walls so that we will have storage for sewing stuff and other things. I do need to eventually get another book shelf for the family room too. I like having one on each side of the sliding door and one of them went into the living room. I am going to move the DVDs and all my books back downstairs to the book shelves. It will be better for them as I like to watch DVDs while I exercise. The family room will be awesome when I finish with it. First thing, is getting rid of the shuffleboard. It is in the way right now. Of course, nothing will be done until after tax season except for moving the shuffleboard out of the room.
All in all, it has a good day. I hope your day was good too. I am excited that I have a good week planned.
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