Friday, January 21, 2011

paperwork friday

I turned in all the paperwork.  Well, I hope it was all the paperwork.  I couldn't turn in my pay stub  because I haven't gotten my first paycheck from yet.  I get it on the 5th so that is good.  I have a busy afternoon tomorrow.  I have 4 lessons so I am excited about that.  I had Stephanie's this afternoon.  She is doing pretty well for just starting the song.  She does have one piece pretty much memorized.  She has solo and ensemble in 2 weeks now.  I will see her on Wednesday next week for 90 minutes.  I was nervous about the length of the lesson, but it goes pretty quick, so I am happy about that.  I have another solo and ensemble student tomorrow.  Both these students are temporary ones, but I do hope they turn into permanent ones, but if they don't that is okay.

It is so cold here.  It is supposed to be in the single digits this weekend.  Thank goodness I have a nice new parka to help keep me warm.  I also have a nice warm scarf and hat.  My gloves aren't that warm, but I have warmer ones if needed.  I do hope where you are is warmer than it is here.  We are also supposed to get more snow.  I think this is the weekend to stay home.  Thank goodness I got groceries yesterday!  Oh, wait, I have to get some medicine tomorrow.  Ugh.  that means I have to go out tomorrow.  I need the medicine or I would wait to next week.  I do have to go to Windsor next week for the afternoon.  I am going on Wednesday.  I will be going to Tillie's for lunch.  I have some business to attend to and then lunch.  I need to be home by 4 pm for Stephanie's lesson.  I don't anticipate that being a problem.  I am planning to arrive by 10 am so that I can leave by 1:30 after lunch.  I haven't actually seen Tillie since December at the family party and she was very busy that day.  I was having a rough day that day so I left early.  It was the 2 month anniversary of Momma's passing and it just hit me pretty hard.  It occurred to me that everyone there had someone except me, whether it was children, significant other, or mom, and I had no one.  They all had a little family of their own and I don't.  My little family is gone. It just wasn't a good day for me.  I was glad Darrin left early so that I could leave before dark too.  When I am that upset, it is best to leave before dark.  I have better contacts now so that is good, I can read street signs again.  I am frightened at times about my eyes and the macular degeneration.  Sometimes when I am typing the words are blurry and no matter what I do I can't get them to clear up.  It isn't everyday, but it is often enough that it drives me crazy.  Eyes are so important.  I know it is something I need to keep an eye on.  I do see better with the new contacts.  They are a new kind that allows lots of oxygen through so I no longer have the oxygen deprivation problem in my left eye.

I don't have any plans for Sunday right now.  Phoebe is supposed to stop by tomorrow afternoon to drop off the ladder.  I am hoping to see Peggy soon, I am not sure when.  As soon as Wendy is feeling better we will be meeting for tea.  She is so nice.  I wish we were closer in high school and the years after.  Well, we are friends now and that is what counts.  She is one of the friends that came to the viewing of Mom.  I really appreciated all my friends and family who came for those two days.  They were pretty awful.  I hope to never go through anything that awful again.

It has been a productive day for a change.  I did take a nap after I went to drop the paperwork off.  I didn't want to mail them because it could get lost in the mail and I don't want to lose that stuff so I dropped it off the the drop box.  The office is rather close to my house so it was no big deal.  I copied everything and then stuffed it in the envelope.  Now my dining room table has paperwork all over it again.  I will put the bills in the bill file tomorrow.  I am too tired to do this tonight.

I hope you had a good day.  It was for me.  I feel good when I get stuff done.  I hope that next week is productive too.  There are days when I feel like my old self again.  It happens more often than it did in a while.  I still have rough days though, I miss Momma all the time, but I am slowly reconstructing my world to a world without her.  I never really thought I would, yes, I know, that is awfully naive but that is me.  It is a world that I am slowly muddling through.  Some days, I am just treading water, while others I am drowning and some I am floating.  All in all, I am finding my strength, the strength I didn't think I had.  I guess I do have some, I just don't know how much.  i know Mom would want me to be strong.  That I know for sure.  She always said she wanted me to be strong and stand on my own two feet.  Well, I need a bit of help, with the standing on my own two feet, but I am doing alright.

1 comment:

  1. I know I told you this once before - is OK to take your time with the grieving process. Golly - my Mom's been gone 12 years (seems like last week sometimes) and there are still moments that catch me off guard. That part will never go away. But time will help to ease the pain. But they are our Mom's after all - not sure where we would be without them.
    I'm glad you had a better week, stay warm - and know I am sending you a big hug! :) Karen