What a day, it is sunny out!!!!  Yeah sun!!  I like sunny days best.  It warmed the car up so Mom was actually not cold for a change.  It was a nice change.  We had to do some grocery shopping, the worst type, but I needed the veggies for the meat we got yesterday from Tillie.  She gave us a some roast beef and corned beef.  We are having the corned beef tomorrow, I love that stuff so much.  I can't find it where we shop, I am hoping as it gets closer to St. Patrick's Day that they will have some.  I will buy a little bit extra to freeze for another time.  I also bought a pork roast.  Yup, I am becoming more domesticated.  Write that down in history, Heather wants to cook.  Of course, this is all using my crock pot and not anything else.

I had the second blood test of the week this afternoon.  It only took 1 try so boy, was I glad about that.  My other arm finally stopped bleeding (bruising) sometime during the night and it looks just awful.  At least it doesn't hurt, I am thankful for that.  Thank goodness I wear long sleeves most of the time so no one will have to look at it and flip out on me.

I don't have sewing today because of the blood test.  Last time I waited a really long time before they did the test.  Most nurses won't try me because my veins are hard to find.  I don't mind because I don't like more than one poke, so we waited and waited.  We didn't wait too long but enough where I would have been extremely late for sewing so it was best just to cancel it.  I miss my girls though.  I will see them Monday for their piano lessons.  I have no lessons today but I have 2 tomorrow!  My Aggie and Lily!  I am excited about the new song for Aggie and the new book for Lily.  I haven't heard if the CD is in for Aggie's book yet.  It has been over a week now.  I should have ordered it with Charlie's music instead of from the store.  If it isn't in by next week I will order it from pepper music.  They send the music right to your house, so it is very convenient.

I am pretty tired today, I think I am gonna take a nap after I finish this.  3 days in a row of getting up early is very hard on me.  My head hurts a bit more than usual but I took a pain pill so it should go back to normal soon.  I hope you are having a good day.

We are back from the assessment.  Mom will officially be put on the list as soon as I fill in my choices.  I can have up to 3.  We will have a worker out to help mom with the bath and hair once a week.  Finally!  We have some help!  I can help her with a sponge bath, but to get her in the tub is a nightmare for the both of us.  I just am not strong enough to make her feel safe, so we sponge bath instead.  It works for us.  Mom did pretty well, I mean, as well as she can.  She couldn't answer any questions, but I didn't expect her too either.  That is beyond what she is capable of doing.  As usual, Mom is sleeping in her chair.  If I could stay awake at night, I would see what she does at night, but I am usually sleeping and she stays in her bed.  She did wake up super early today, but I put her right back into bed and she stayed until she heard me get up.  It is so beautiful this new pattern.  I am enjoying every minute of the new pattern because you never know when it could end.  It was tiring for me this meeting.  I was so tense because I can't predict what Mom will do, will she be nice or will she cry?  Who knows?  She doesn't make eye contact with me much anymore when she speaks to me.  She really only speaks to me if I speak to her first.  It is like she can't think of anything to say, and she probably can't.  She did well and didn't cry when the word nursing home came up and during the questions, it came up a lot.  I don't think she knows what that is anymore which is good since eventually she will be in one.  the lady said it could be a couple of years unless I burn out and can't take it anymore, then they call it critic and the put her in the first one that is available.  I have to go and check out a few.  Not really happy about that.  I would rather not see them, but in doing my best for Mom I will.  These things make me really sad and depressed.

Surprisingly, the pain level isn't as high as I thought it would be considering the tense situation, so I am pleased with myself on that.  My head is a bit sore, but I knew it would be because of the tenseness of the meeting.  The lady was very nice and helpful, don't get me wrong, it the subject of the meeting that causes me to be tense.

My arm bruise is growing from the blood test I had yesterday.  It is still fresh looking so I know I am still bleeding under the skin.  It took a while for the blood to stop on the outside too, when I stop to think about it.  I am not happy about tomorrow's test because it will be in the extremely sore arm and it will hurt like the dickens.  I don't do well with tests in that arm anymore because of the stiff shoulder and arm pain.  The pain runs down the front of my forearm and ends at the elbow, exactly where the tourniquet will go tomorrow.  Yeah.  I will make sure I have an empty tummy for this one so the pain doesn't make me throw up.

Well, I am heading up to bed now, have to get up earlier for said test and we all know how I feel about mornings to begin with!  yuck!!!  That's what I think about mornings!  I hope your day went well and your morning will go good too!

I have to post again, I am so excited.  Calli had her first lesson with me and did phenomenal!!!  She is very talented.  I asked her about how she learned in china and discovered that they didn't really do a lot of both hands.  No problem.  We started right away with both hands.  She learned two songs today and will be practicing during the week until next Wednesday at about 4:30.  Her younger brother, Acer, was fascinated by the violin I had his Mom dig out for him.  He loves everything musical.  I mean, everything.  He also wanted to know where the lap harp was, I had to sadly tell him I still don't know where it is.  I hope to find it soon.  But he perked when I told him about a violin.  He wiggled and jumped.  It was really cute.  So he was entertained during Calli's lesson and quiet.  Well, as quiet as the handsome young man gets.  he didn't distract Calli and I, and that was the important thing.

My older girls are going to love these two tons!

More after next weeks lesson.

I had my usual blood test today and they have to redo it on Friday. So now, of course, I am thinking, is there something wrong? Too thin, too thick? I am supposed to stop taking coumiden too until then. So yeah, okay, what's up with that?

I think today I will have Calli's first lessons. I sure hope so. Her poor mom has been ill for two weeks so I am hopeful for today. We shall find out in about 2 hours. I can't wait. I have the books and CDs ready for her. I also found a neat website that has braille music. How cool is that? So once we start I will know what we need. Also, I ordered Charlie some new solos and the music is in, it came in this afternoon. I know, why couldn't it have come in yesterday when my boy was here? Because I didn't order it until Friday night and they shipped it Monday. Silly me, you would think I would have a better sense of timings my orders. I hope Aggie's CD is here by Saturday, I ordered those last Wednesday so I am hopeful that they will be here in time for her lesson. I can't wait for her to sing the new song I picked out for her.

My computer is still frozen on sleep so I, again, am using Mom's. I realized yesterday that it would be the perfect opportunity to make this months newsletter as she has publisher and I don't have it for Mac. Have I done that. Duh, no. I am planning on fixing that this evening. I have some pictures from competition and from the benefit concert to add to the newsletter. It should be a nifty one. I love making these things. Hmm, wouldn't it be cool if I got a job editing newsletters? I have done that before and loved every minute of it. I did it for about 6 years. I could do it again! I even worked at home with it so that would be even better because then there is no worries about who'll take care of Mom. I can and work at the same time!!!! I think I will look into that for a job. I know jobs are awfully scarce in these parts right now.

Not much happening today outside of the one lesson and the newsletter. We were at the docs earlier today and waited an hour for my blood test. The nurse was a new one, she was smart, got someone who can get me as soon as I mentioned I am hard to get. I don't do well with several pokes you know. With fibro, the tourniquet hurts really really bad, not the needle so much, although that hurts too, but the tourniquet is the worse. I thought I was going throw up it hurt so bad today. And to top it off, they can only use one arm because of the pain that is continuous in the left arm. It is practically frozen now. I can only use it a bit. I hope the cycle of pain it is in moves on soon, I am tired of not moving the arm well. I need both arms.

Speaking of pain, did anyone get a chance to look at the online magazine for the NFA? I did and it looks real good. Here is the link again! http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/

Please check it out and let them (NFA) if you like it. It is just another way for us to keep the highway of information going!!!!

I do hope your day is going well. Mine isn't too bad, minus the extra pain from the blood test, and I am looking forward to Calli's lesson.

I met Danielle for lunch today for the first time in a few years. She has now graduated from University of Michigan and has finished her student teaching and is now, like so many of us, looking for a job. She has done some subbing and seems to really like teaching. I am glad she found something she enjoys. It was so nice seeing her. Even Mom did well while we were there. She didn't eat her soup, but other than that she was doing alright.

This new medicine seems to make her more zombie like than I would like, but I guess if I had a choice between the crying all the time Mom and the zombie like one, I will pick the zombie like one. She is still as tired as she used to be. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do about that. Oh well, she is calmer than she used to be and I am enjoying it as much as I can. Watching a person you love go down the hill is hard. It makes me think of what our friends and family go through as we go up and down with our illness(es). It can't be too easy on them when we feel like crap most of the time. The hardest thing for me is the tiredness and the not walking well. I can't walk very far anymore. I know some of it is my weight, but even when I was skinnier I had trouble. The pain is passable, I would say most days, although, I do have my bad days too, but this exhaustion kills me the most. I want to go back to work when Mom is in a home, but seriously? Can I do it? I don't know. Maybe things will pick up in my state and I will be able to get a few more students, enough to balance out the deficit Mom's leaving will bring. That along with disability would work. I am glad you can work a bit on disability. I don't think I could work 40 hours, but then again, I don't know until I try. I guess I just have to leave it until the time comes that I have to think about it.

Pain is medium as usual, I didn't feel too much when I was with Danielle though! Good times with her. We need to do this again when Katie is in town. They are both so cute! I can't believe how fast they grew up on me. It seems like yesterday when they were in elementary school getting ready for junior high. How the time has flown on me.

I hope your day is good!!!!!!

I received a nice email today. It is about a new project that the National Fibromyalgia Association is working on. It is an online magazine. I think this is very cool. We will now be able to get the magazine in two forms, online and print. I mean, really, how neat! So anyways, every so often I will be posting the link. Here it is:

http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/fma/fibromyalgiaaware_2009winter_v2/


so check it out! I know I will be this week.

Today was a pretty busy day as far as our days go. We went to our usual Tim Horton's, then off to Gracei's lessons, then home for 3 more lessons. I love my Mondays! Tomorrow I am meeting Danielle for tea at Paneras! I can't wait.

Frank was happy with the new music he got. I actually gave him some new stuff instead of him picking what he wanted to play. I don't mind him picking because he picks a nice variety of music.

I don't have really anything much else to say today, don't know why, just don't. Pain is normal for the day, had an okay sleep for a change, but not much else to say. Hope your day is going well.

Mom is dozing in her chair and mumbling.  It is too funny.  I probably do the exact same thing, but this is funny.  She randomly goes from one subject to the next.  It is just hilarious.  I probably shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it when she does this.  Usually she just sits and it quiet while dozing.  Not today!

It is a rather dull day here.  I have laundry to do, yeah! fun! Yup, just love doing laundry.  Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?  I am also cooking stew in the crock pot!  I saw this package of stew meat and veggies so I bought it and thought we would try it.  I have snitched a taste or two and boy is it good!  When we go shopping later this week I will get more and freeze them.  I hope to also find corned beef and get some of that and freeze it too.  Love my corned beef.  Now that I have a crock pot I can make a few things that we didn't have a choice on.

The hockey game between USA and Canada is on this afternoon.  I don't like hockey so I won't be watching it.  I am gonna flip channels and see what other Olympic sports are being shown.  It is also the closing ceremonies tonight.  :( :( :( :( :( :(  I love the Olympics.

I have to figure out my teaching money for last year today too so my taxes can get done.  I don't have much because most of my students are on scholarship and don't pay but I do have a bit.  I don't have much to claim as far as deductions either because most of them come here and I didn't buy any music last year.  I will keep better track this year.  Last year was just bad.

Pain is medium as usual today.  I am swimming in the fog as far as thinking goes today, but at least I don't need to think to much for what we are doing this afternoon.  Laundry is boring and requires a small amount of thinking so that is good.  Watching Olympics requires no amount of thinking on my part so that is even better.  I could use a nap though.  Maybe I will take one before I do laundry.  Mom could use it too as she is dozing like I said in her chair.  I think we will go up now and nap.  

Have a good afternoon.  It is sunny and a bit warmer than it has been here!!!!!  Yeah!  Spring is on her way (I hope!)

It was book club today!!!!!!!!!  I looooooove book club a lot!  Debbie and Maggie were here.  Next time we will have a few new members, I hope.  Debbie is going to bring her roommate/best friend, Justine.  She is really nice too.  I met her at the benefit concert.  Aggie couldn't come because the weather didn't cooperate with us.  It was pretty bad last night when she would have driven home to her parents house from college.  I was disappointed but totally understand.  Disappointed because it also means she missed her lesson and I have new music for her!  I will see her next week though so I shall give it to her.  It will probably work out better because the CD to the new book isn't here yet so, I guess it will work out for the best.  My friend, Stacey is planning to join book club too.  I am putting a story in the sub newsletter inviting any neighbors to join too.

Mom didn't eat much at dinner tonight and we went to Olive Garden.  She loves that place but even Olive Garden now is on her paranoid list of foods that could give a problem.  She just refuses to eat much.  I think she ate maybe, and I am stretching this, maybe 1/4 of her soup and about 1/4 of her noodles.  It is really bothering me because she is going down so fast and she is helping it!  I hope she is hungry later tonight and I will heat up her noodles.  I don't think we will go out to eat much because I end up throwing so much of it away and that is wasting money we need.  It will also save us money by eating at home.  We don't go out much, about 1 every other week, but the last couple of times I have thrown away more than she ate.  I think ensure is about to become most of her meals now, she will at least drink a full one when I ask her too.  I wonder if food is just hard to go down.  I don't know.  This problem keeps me up at night more than the pain is right now.

Other than the food issue, she has done pretty well this week with sleeping so I am happy about that.  Thursday is her assessment with the CCAC people.  I don't know what that means.  I just know they are the ones in charge of the waiting list for homes.  Tillie will be at the meeting too, so that reassures me.  I just don't want to cry at this one like I did with the social worker at the Alzheimer's Society.  I will bring kleenex in case.

Pain hasn't been too bad for a change.  I did wake up with a bad headache a couple of days but they went back to their normal headache.  I slept a bit better since Mom was better with sleeping, so I am hopeful that this shall last a few weeks.  

I am planning a birthday party for Mom on her birthday in March.  It will be at Tillie's house as she lives in Windsor where most of our relatives live.  Several of our friends here won't be able to attend as you need a passport to cross the border so we may have a cake and ice cream the day before here at our house.  At the party we will have snacks and cake, and that's about all.  It is an open house type of party as Tillie's house is little.  When she finishes the updates it will look really cute.  It is a 2 bedroom cottage.  She is adding a porch (in the back) and new siding and windows and roof.  She wants the roof to extend over the front door.  Right now it ends at the edge of the house and she wants it to cover her front porch she has.

Today has been a good day and I have enjoyed it all.  I hope your day has been good too!!!!

I didn't bring my machine on purpose to sewing today.  It is snowing out and I can't carry it out to the car so I didn't bring it.  Mistake!!!!  The girls sewing machine's foot is missing and we can't sew without it.  Poor little machine!  I hope they find it otherwise they may have to order or buy a new one.  Laura thinks it has to be in the van, I would concur with this conclusion.  Mom slept as usual during sewing.  The girls got a lot of basting done but we still had to end early from lack of activity to do.  It was sad, but what can you do?

Not much planned for the rest of the day, but tomorrow is book club!!!!!!!!!  I can't wait!  I love book club and we have a couple of new members so I am excited.  I bought a big cookie (8 by 10 sheet) for the occasion, I may have looked for something cheaper had I realized before I bought it it was $8.  Oh well, little too late now.  I know it will taste good because we have had them before.  Mom enjoys book club too.  She usually sits in during it and listens because she doesn't read the books, not that it would matter if she did, because she wouldn't be able to remember them.  I have some thoughts for next book.  Aggie won't be here because of the weather.  Mean weather.  I need my Aggie.  She is coming home next weekend instead.  I asked her for suggestions for the next book.  She picked this months book, Howl's Moving Castle.  It was pretty good.  I finished it yesterday afternoon during the snow fall.  It is snowing again like crazy today.  Not a happy camper about this.  Not liking this snow at all.  Mom is doing alright with it, but she can get nervous while I drive (okay - even more than usual).

Mom has been alright today.  She got up for the bathroom this morning and then went right back to bed (with help from me).  I think she thinks she has too now.  I am not sure.  She has done this every day since Sunday, but I am not complaining, I get to sleep in and not be woken up early!  I like this new development, hope it lasts a while.

She is still not eating terribly good, but I try to get her to drink some ensure a couple of times a day.  I forgot to bring it with me this morning.  Oops.

Speaking of this morning, I forgot my wallet on the table when we left so I owe Tim Horton's for today's meal.  Thank goodness we are frequent guests because she is letting me pay tomorrow when we come in.  Nice people there.  Reminds me of when I worked at Arbys in college, the first couple of years anyways before the managers changed.  We had a good time and then the managers changed and it wasn't so fun anymore.  I was also teaching at the time and just getting started with that, so when I got more students, I quit Arbys.  Definitely better with teaching!  Teaching is a lot of fun and rarely boring and dull (like the rest of my time on some days.)

I have no lessons until Monday now because both Aggie and Lily will be absent.  :( :( :( :(  I will see them both next week though, so :) :) :) :) :)

I love making happy faces!!!!!!

I hope your day is good and hopefully not snowing like crazy like it is here!

I bought Mom the cutest Donald Duck ever.  He is dressed up like a bunny and he dances and sings.  When you pull the ears he throws a fit.  It is so funny!  It is on her piano now.  She and I both really like it.  So that is part of her Easter present.  She will get more, but not until Easter.  Can you believe Easter is soon?  I can't.  Already, it is lent season.  That just snuck up on me.  I also bought Mom's birthday invitations for her open house party.  I hope lots of relatives and friends come.  She will enjoy it.  She probably won't remember too much of it, but she will have fun.  She is, as usual, dozing in her chair.  Wish I could, I am a bit tired today.  I slept in too.  We are at a decent stage right now.  I don't know how long it will last, but I am hopeful.  She goes right into bed without any problems and stays there until morning without calling my name or waking me up.  She just stays in her bed.  How cool is that?  Pretty cool if you ask me.  She has done this for the last 4 days, whoohoo!!!!!  Very exciting news in the Paxton house!  She also hasn't asked when we are going home this week either.  She also rarely asks if I am Heather, so all in all, a decent week for a change.

Because it has been a good week, the pain level is also down!  Yeah!  So, basically, good news all around.  I am not sure if we are going to knitting today or not, haven't heard from my friend, so it looks good, but she isn't feeling so well, so I don't know.  We will miss next week as we have an appointment in Windsor.  We have 2 appointments for Mom coming up, so the show is on the road.  We are getting somewhere for Mom.  The new med seems to work good for her.  I gave her the full dose, I didn't want to fool around with half a dose when she was so upset.  Right now, it is working well and helping her sleep and have a decent sleep at that.

My scarf that I am knitting is barely there, I haven't really worked on it in the last two weeks.  I mean too, but then, I either forget, or get busy with something else, I don't really know why.  I have the time to do it most days.

Tomorrow is sewing day for the first time in 3 weeks!  I am excited!  Can't wait.  I am bringing my knitting with me so I can work on it while the girls are sewing.  I also have to remember my machine.  It is a lot easier for us if we have 2 machines.

I hope your day will be good and sunny!  We have sunshine for a change!!!!

I have 2 students today.  1 is a makeup from Monday because of the beautiful, horrible snow we got, the other is a regularly scheduled appointment.  I got her books today.  I can't wait to start.  Should be rather fun.  I also got 2 new vocal books when I was at the store.  1 is for Lily and the other for Katie and Rachel.  I had to order the CDs to the one book for the older girls because it wasn't in.  The other book for Lily had the CD inside the book.  I like it when they do that, but I also like when you don't have to buy the entire book again just for the CD.  That has happened a lot.  I am hoping the girls will be coming over soon to help me put away all the music that is all over the office and living room.  I need to see what I am missing.  I can repurchase them one at a time.  I am hoping to have more students soon.  My friend is all full and she is going to give my name to those who ask her about lessons!  Isn't that cool??  I think so!  More students.  I hope to eventually have 50 again, that is a good number and a manageable number to have.  Any more and you start to lose something, but 50 is good.  I have the room in my schedule.  We shall see.  Also, I would be able to stay in the house if I have that many students because I would be able to afford it.  That is another goal!  I don't want to move!  I love my house.  I have lived her all my life.

During Tillie's march break (the Canadian equivalent to the USA spring break) she is going to come and help with Mom room.  Then I will be able to gate her inside her room and she can wander all she wants.  She has a bathroom in her room too, so that is covered.

We have had a couple of good days.  She went straight to bed again last night!!!!  And woke up about 7:30 this morning for the bathroom, she was cold so I put her back into bed and both of us slept for a couple more hours!  Isn't that awesome?  I think so.  

She also drank an ensure with her donut this morning so she had a good breakfast for a change.  I hope this is a sign of easier times ahead for us, I am not up for hard times.  I hate yelling and getting angry when I know it isn't her fault it is the disease's fault.  She wouldn't normally do the things she does if she didn't have the disease.

I am going to look at my new books now.  I am excited.  I also need to read my book club book as book club is Saturday and I haven't started yet!  Oh my!!!!  I will get going today on it.  I have something to do while the TV is on.  We are very into Olympics in this house.

Try to have a good day!!!  I know this will be a pretty good day!