Wednesday

It is raining and has been raining all day.  Yuck, is about all I can say about that.  I am a bit achy from it too.  I was slightly (?) airheady today.  I arrived, I thought, on time for the doctor.  Whoops, I actually was late.  I totally forgot about the mammogram I was supposed to have.  I did have it done, only 45 minutes late.  Fortunately, I did NOT have to reschedule this.  I am thankful for that small thing.  I don't know who invented that machine, but they need to come up with a better invention.  It just hurts so much.  I don't know if it hurts nonfibro people as much, but it just hurts.  Anyways, after that I saw my doctor and we decided to try the Meloxicam that the insurance company will cover.  If it does not work, then we will appeal to the insurance company and then apply for help to cover the $127 that the Celebrex costs because on my meager income, I just can't afford that.

I had a total surprise when i went to the secretary of state's office this afternoon.  I did NOT have to wait!  That is correct!  no waiting!!  I went in and went to the info desk to get my number.  She asked what I needed to have done and I said new tabs and a new handicap sticker as my expires on Friday.  She said she could do that right now.  I was floored.  I have been using the automatic stations because the lines for the people are huge and you end up waiting for a good hour or hour and a half just to pick up new tabs.  I couldn't believe this.  No waiting?  What planet was I on?  I have no idea.  But, 10 minutes later, I had my new sticker and my new tabs.  I did not put them on yet because it is raining out today.  I don't want to have to get new ones because they fell off so I will wait until tomorrow.

I am very tired today.  I don't know if it is the lack of sleep the 2 nights before last has caught up or what, but I am exhausted today.  It also could be all the running around I did this afternoon.  I am not sure.  I am debating on whether or not a nap is a good idea.  It is almost 4:30 pm.

My neighbor, Mary stopped by to see me with her grandson, Carson.  He is 8 and is interested in voice lessons.  Well, I gave her my number (I was in the car ready to go to the secretary of state office) and told her my availability.  She has Carson after school Wednesdays and Thursdays.  Well, that works perfect as those days I have a lot of availability.  I said, look at your schedule and then let me know what works for you.  She said she would give me a call tonight.  I look forward to that.  They live across the street from me so how convenient is that for the young man?  We could start tomorrow or next week, whichever works for him and Mary.


I have had a decent day despite the pain.  I am thinking I might just go into the living room and take a wee nap now.  I am just that tired.  I do hope I sleep well tonight though.  I have to get up a earlier because of Breanna's lessons.  I also am thrilled because I get Lily!!!!  I am picking her up from school tomorrow because Ross will be out of town and Julie will be at work.  The 2nd to last week for taxes is super busy.  I signed off on Mom's and mine today.  I did nearly cry when I signed mom's because it is her last ones ever.  Anything that is the last one for mom makes me weep.  I just miss her so much.  I know so many of you understand that feeling very well and I am thankful for all of the support, prayers, and kind words you have given me.  It sure helps in this very sad time especially since quite a few members of my family think I should be over her by now or moving forward and not looking back.  Either way, I am grateful for my friends and the part of the family that understands how this has been a living nightmare for me.

I do hope this finds you doing very well and maybe you may even have some sunshine??  I certainly hope so!!!!

next time, I better read the email better

I thought I read the email correctly when I got the first email about the writing course.  Apparently, it is a download course.  I found that out when I called them this afternoon because I was getting concerned that I hadn't gotten my course yet.  I quickly got my password and user name.  I tried to download them this afternoon.  I had to stop when Charlie arrived for his lessons.  I discovered why it wouldn't download properly.  I had too old of a Adobe reader program.  I have since corrected that problem and now I have the correct version.  Wow, what a day!  I have since downloaded all the stuff I needed to download and there were several documents.  The actual course is 318 pages with several other documents, one being 118 pages.  I will be starting the course tomorrow after the doctor appointment.  I also have to go to the secretary of state office which I didn't do this morning.  I didn't fall asleep until about 5:30 am.  I woke again at 7:30 and turned off the alarm.  I was so tired that I just couldn't stay awake.  I awoke again at 12:30 pm.

I ran into Rosemary and Kim, my neighbors, at Tim Horton's.  I was planning on reading a bit and then going to get a haircut.  We were there about 2 hours.  We just chatted about everything.  It was a lot of fun.  I really enjoyed myself.  I did have time before Charlie's lesson to get a haircut so I headed to the hairdressers.  I got a few inches cut off and now have bangs.  I still have long enough hair to put it up in a ponytail.  I am happy about that as I like ponytails.

Charlie's lesson went well.  We talked for about 15 minutes so we ran over.  Thankfully, I didn't have another student after him.  He drove himself to my house from his dad's work today.  His dad has a shop and he details cars and fixes them.  They just moved to a new building so Charlie was doing yard work today.  He said he likes working outside, boy was that music to my ears.  I asked Charlie how much he would charge to trim my bushes in the backyard and shape the ones in the front.  He saw what I meant so I am hoping he will let me know next week.  I have been needing someone to do this for me.  I am hoping to get it done in May.

I was able to pick up my pain medicine today so I am very glad about that.  I hope to sleep better tonight.  I have not slept well since I have not had them.  I am very sore tonight so I am very happy that I have the medicine.

I do hope you are having a good evening.

warmer weather with a bit of rain

It is 57 degrees out today!  Okay, that coupled with rain does make the excitement go down however, the temp is very nice.  I wish it would stay, but apparently there is a massive cold front coming.  This is all normal with Michigan or my part of it anyway.  I had to run several errands this afternoon before teaching at 3.  I am so glad I got most of the done already.  I do have the toilet handle screw and the light bulbs to purchase.  I am going to do those tomorrow.  I got my music back from Annie.  The latest adult student who lasted one lesson.  This is actually why I used to not take adults but with the new company rules, I have no choice.  You have to take who they assign.  Well, the 4 adults the assigned me have officially all quit.  Adults don't realize, I think, the amount of time it takes to learn an instrument whether it is piano or singing, it doesn't matter, time is necessary.  I think they think (some of them) that once a week at a lesson is good enough.  Well, it isn't.  You have to put in time to practice and they don't consider that when they sign up, so they quit.  The only kids that have quit were the temporary ones who signed up for solo and ensemble and needed help with just that.  It makes me even more thankful for Bob, my lone adult student who has studied with me for 5 years.  He is a wonderful student and a good friend.  Both he and his wife are great people.  I just have to find out if they are coming to the party next week.  I forgot to ask last week, oops.  Sometimes my fog is really bad and I have to work super hard to focus during a lesson.  Thank God I know the music so well.  Usually during lessons though, I find that even in bad fog days I can still concentrate on lessons.  I haven't had a an issue with too much fog during a lesson, before and after, well, that is a different story.

Maia and Tillie are suppose to drop by to pick up Tillie's things.  She has towels, sweater, drill, tools, a commode, and a couple of scanners that are hers and need to go home.  I want her to take the commode, it is in the way in the garage.  I am almost to the point where the garage is empty enough for the little red car to go in.  I can't wait for that day!  My little baby car has never been in the garage.  She has only seen it from afar.  Maia also has a treadmill she needs to take home.  That is also in the way.  Once I have the table and chairs moved into the backyard, then I just have to move a few boxes out of the way and poof! I will have room for the car to go in.  I just can't wait.  I do have to bring a couple of stones back into the garage so I will know where to stop.  I think they were gotten rid of when Maia and Tillie cleaned out the garage a while ago.

It is a normal missing mom day and a normal pain day.  I am in a bit more pain than normal because the refill of my pain pills have not be cleared by the doctor yet.  I haven't had any pain pills but over the counter since Friday when I ran out.  It is starting to be difficult because of it, but the Tylenol is trying really hard to work, it just doesn't do as good as a job as the other stuff.

I hope this finds you doing really well today and perhaps with sunshine!!

A new month

I know I am a few days late with the new month thing, I did notice on Friday that it was April 1.  Today was a fun afternoon because I went to a Michigan Music Association meeting.  It was our wrap up meeting from the competition.  We had quite a bit to discuss as this year was an election year.  I am now the assistant Secretary/Treasurer.  As the secretary was unable to come, I took the minutes.  I will be typing them tonight and disbursing them tomorrow to those who were there.  We had so much to talk about.  The hotel made an error and actually owes us money instead of us owing them.  We overpaid.  Thank goodness our current president reads these bills with a fine tooth comb as mistakes, though rare, do happen.  Our new president will, I am sure, do the same thing.  We discussed what we thought of the carnival that we had on Saturday night.  I think it went very well and that the kids all enjoyed it.  We are going to do it again next year, we think.  We may consider adding a popcorn machine and a cotton candy machine too.  All depends on price, of course.  We are a non-profit organization and all of us are volunteers so no one gets paid.  The one benefit we do get, is that our hotel rooms for the weekend are paid for.  I must admit that that will help me immensely next year in Kalamazoo.  I just don't know how else I could go right now.  Things will improve, I am sure, but right now, things are very tight.  I am very concerned about my future finances and how I will still have a place to live with all the necessities like heat and electricity.  The non-essentials are pretty much gone and I find I don't really miss them.  The only other non-essential is cable TV and I get the lowest package because I don't need all the fancy stuff you can get.  I am happy with the regular type stuff like Hallmark Channel and Lifetime Channel.  I also like the HGTV channel but if it became necessary, I would cut these things out too.  They are not too essential to my well being.  I can easily go to the library to check email once a day.  It is only about 3 miles away.  I have to stop by there tomorrow and return books that are now overdue.  Yup, that is the reason I rarely check books out.  I forget to return them!  I have them in the middle of my hallway to the door so I will trip over them if I don't pick them up.

Anyways, I digress.  I really enjoy meeting up with the fellow teachers, even though there were only 4 of us.  The roads were getting pretty bad so one teacher had to turn around and go home.  The roads were just too bad for her.  She lives quite a distance from us, so I totally understand that.  We have some changes coming to one of the categories and mainly everything is going smoothly for the organization.  I am happy to be a member of it.  I do enjoy the competition every year and I don't mind the work it takes to put it on.  I am happy to do my part.  I think I may do the luncheon next year.  Seems like it would be a good challenge for me.  I have the time to do it.  I do miss Mom at these type events though.  She was always my assistant.  She would collect the music back from the students after they performed for me.  She would check it all in and then when we got home, she would refile it for next time's use.  I so miss her for that.  I have about 3 boxes worth that need to be filed and reorganized.  I found some original CDs that have been missing for a long time in another box yesterday.  I am anxious to put them in the right place and reorganize the copies.  I also want to compare the originals to the copies to see what needs to be recopied.  Some have worn out or lost or I need more of them now that I don't hand out too many books.  I am going to be working on Amanda's folder this week.  I found a nice binder and I know where the sheet protectors are now so I can put her book together since her Mom won't buy her the books she needs.  It kind of upsets me because everyone else bought theirs and she didn't, but I can't punish Amanda because of this and I won't.  I will just make her a nice little binder.

It is horrible weather out tonight.  Freezing rain is what it was doing when I came home.  Georgette helped me down the stairs at her house and I managed the rest of the way to my car.  I drove just fine as the roads weren't too bad.  I imagine they will be really bad tonight when the sun goes down.  I won't be going out again, that is for sure.  I plan on staying home.



I do hope you are having a good day.

saturday

I only took a short nap today.  Write that down in history, it may not repeat itself again.  After getting up earlier than usual for Amanda's and Kayla's lessons, I went to get brunch at the usual for a change.  I went inside today because I wanted something different and didn't want to eat at home.  I was just caught with cabin fever.  I haven't gone to many places this week so I didn't want to stay in the house.  Then I came home, bundled up some books to go to the used bookstore.  These are books I have read but didn't really like or I liked them okay, I just didn't want to keep them.  Then I picked up 4 new to me books.  I will read them over the next few days.  I have to return the library books too since I forgot last week.  They are now overdue.  Oops.  That is why I rarely go to the library because I tend to forget to return then on time.  Now I will owe money.  Ugh.  Oh well, they are only a few days overdue right now.  I will take care of that tomorrow on the way to Georgette's for a Michigan Music Association meeting.  I am looking forward to that.  I like meeting up with my fellow piano/voice teacher friends.  It makes for a nice evening.  The meeting is supposed to be for about an hour.  That is as long as they usually last.  I am not sure what I will do after that though.  I may stop by a friend's house and take her out for a bit.  She has been homebound since she had a bad car accident a month or so ago.  We shall see what our schedules are like!


I am counting down the days until tax season is over.  I am anxious to have my sewing corner in the family room.  I will be speaking to Darrin, my cousin, as he has shown interest in the shuffleboard that is in the way.  It takes up an entire wall that is needed for storage space.  I am going to move the bar stools into the indoor patio to take pictures of them and see if we can sell them.  They are also going because I am not putting up a bar in the family room again.  If Mom had done it after she finished the family room, that would be one thing, but since I want something different down there, they are history.  I have asked the Muglia girls to create some art work for the family room for me.  I don't get to see them this Monday, but a week from Monday.  I also have the little sewing machine for them.  I didn't have room in the car for it last time they had their lessons.  Too many hoodies were in the car for them.  I am hopeful that they liked some of them and the ones they don't like they donated.  There were a lot of sweatshirts and hoodies in there.


I get to pick up Lily from school this week.  On facebook, Ross commented that there was one day he needed to be out of town and Julie needed to be at her office so he wasn't sure how to get Lily home from school.  (there are no buses for her school - it's a private one)  So I called up and offered to take her home.  I take her home Thursday this week, which will work perfect since I teach until 1:30 and have nothing else to do the rest of the day so I am excited I get Lily for a short time.  I know it isn't long, but hey, I will take her when I can.  She is in 7th grade this year and boy is she growing fast.  It is hard to believe how fast time goes when I look at her.  She was just a tiny little girl when I first met her.  I first saw her as a baby, but then I saw her again when she was around 3ish.  She was this little blond doll.  Of course, she is still blond and a doll but one that is getting much taller than me!  Fortunately, I am still taller for now.  I don't stand next to her sister, Emily, as Emily is taller than me now.  I can't believe she graduates from high school in June.  Wasn't she just in my first grade music class?  That was how I met her.  I taught music at her school for a year.  That was the year I discovered that teaching in a classroom wasn't for me.  Way too many kids for me.  I like the one on one or two and one teaching much better although in the past I have had my students band together to become a choir and that was fine.  I have had them sing as a choir in Disney World twice, once in 1999 and the other in 2008.  It was great fun both times.  I would say though, that June in Disney is not my favorite time of year.  It rains too much.  It rained almost every day we were there in 2008 and Mom and I were soaked for most of the visit.  Yes, we had rain ponchos on but the arms of my scooter let more water down my back and into my shorts so I was rather soaked easily.  I now ride it without the arms and I find the rain poncho can do its job much better but it didn't occur to me then to take the arms off.  I got Mom the cutest pair of crocs while we were there.  They were the Maryjane style and a light pink.  She also had a Disney style dark pink pair of crocscrocs too.  I don't.  My feet are too wide for them so I gave all my pairs to Mom.  I only wore mine a few times, they just weren't that comfortable to me.  I am going to try a bigger size this summer.


It has been a good day.  I have medium pain today, which is good.  I have one more lesson in about 25 minutes so I am excited about that.  I do hope you are having a good day!

friday

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what I think the night before, if I don't have to be up early, I am not going to be.  I have tried to set an alarm, I turn it off and crawl back into bed the next morning.  The only time I don't do this is when I actually feel like I have had a good night's sleep and can function normal.  Outside of Thursdays, Saturdays, and once a month on a Monday, I don't have to get up at any certain time.  I can go to bed whenever and get up whenever so I am going to stop trying to get myself up early and then be angry at myself for staying in bed too long.  The bottom line is I don't get good sleep and I wake up every few hours to roll over because of pain and if I am on my left side, I can only last one hour on that side.  I can't really sleep on my back or stomach at all so it is only on the sides for me.  So from now on, no more of this I will get up early and then I will get more things done.  That isn't going to happen, I am not going to get up early to get more things done.  I know I won't so I need to relax on this.  If I have company, I will get up earlier but I will no longer try to comply with some family to get up with the sun and get things done.  It doesn't happen, so I am not going to beat myself up everyday for this.  Mom never cared what time I got up unless I had something I had to do at a certain time, then she helped me get up.  She was always like, get your rest if you sleep in longer you sleep in longer, no big deal.  So that is how I am going to be from now on.  I will get as much sleep as I possible can and that's that.

So it is not upsetting that I stayed in bed until 1:00 this afternoon.  I was up I think, literally, every hour last night from pain.  I think I got a few hours after about 6 am but before that I saw every hour.  On nights like this, I am so tired the next day, but I can't sleep anymore so I will just have to go to bed early. I do have to be up and ready for an 11 am lesson tomorrow.  I have 1 lesson at 11 am and another at 11:30 am.  I don't have another one until 6 pm Saturday night so if I need to, I can take a nap.  I love my lots of lessons days although I long for the days where I taught routinely 6 to 8 lessons a day.  I don't know if I could do that many right now, so I would settle for 4 to 6 lessons a day.  Oh, the good old days where the store was still around, and so was Mom.  Hmm, I miss those days a lot now.  I have some vacuuming to do tomorrow and Sunday.  Sunday is also a meeting with Michigan Music Association at 2 pm.  I like going to the meetings as they are fun and it is nice to be with adults for a while.  I love teaching but once in a while I need to speak to an actual adult about something other than their child.

Speaking of children, only Calli had her lesson today.  Acer was just not up to it.  Calli is starting the beginning of level 3 for her lesson book.  I need to find an easier arrangement of Canon in D for her.  All mine are level 4 and above so that is not good for the young lady.  She is growing up so fast.  She and her brother, like most of my students, are such delights to be around.  I really enjoy them both in and out of lessons.  Calli is now starting to sing the song "Candle on the Water".  I love that song.  I have so many that I am anxious for her to learn.  I want to be able to translate the new songs into braille for her so that she has all the words at the beginning of the song.  The way we do it before she Braille's it works for us, but I sometimes think maybe if I told her mom ahead of time what songs we were going to start that maybe having them already in braille would be better for her.  I don't know which way to go on this.

I have to pay some bills this weekend.  Boy, does it feel nice to be able to pay some bills.  On Sunday, I will sit done and figure out what to pay and when to pay it.  I am hoping to be able to squeeze out the installation of the carpet on the stairs to the family room this month.  I went to a carpet store and they gave me a name of an installer who will do it as a side job.  We are only talking about 6 stairs and I have both the carpet and the padding.  It would be nice to get this taken care of.

Next week is my birthday on Friday.  I have asked Heather B-T and family to stay after for lessons and have dinner to celebrate.  We are having a family get together on the 16th at my cousin, Darrin's house, but I wanted to do something on my actual birthday because it will be the first one without Mom.  I hope it is an okay day and not too many tears.  I mostly dread the day to tell the truth.  I am glad I won't be alone though.

I did go to Walmart for prescriptions and food as well as picking up the light bulbs at the hardware store.  I did forget to bring the entire handle of the toilet (it needs a screw because the outer part falls off all the time) so I will take care of that tomorrow.  I do hope this finds you doing well and enjoying your day, no matter what time you get out of bed!

busy busy day!!!!

I love how wonderful today was.  It was super busy for a change.  First up was the lovely Breanna's 2 lessons.  She takes piano and voice.  She is doing rather well.  Piano is a bit of a challenge for her and doesn't come as easy as the voice songs do, but overall, I am pleased with her progress.  After that, Katie came to practice with the accompanist for her audition Saturday for the scholarship.  When Katie was done practicing with Bea, Bea and I went to get a bite to eat.  We went to the usual, Tim Horton's.  It was great as usual.  We sat and chatted for about 45 minutes then headed back to my house for Rachel to come and rehearse with Bea.  Rachel did very well with her music.  I quickly then had to go for my 3 month check up for my tummy at Dr. T's office.  The appointment went quickly since it was just a check up.  I am doing very well on the medicine so no worries there!  I also have graduated up to a 6 month check up instead of 3 months with the understanding should any side effects happen I am to call right away.  I have never yet had any side effects from the medicine so I am not worried about it.  I am very pleased with this progress as I have been going every 3 months for about 3 years now.  Yeah!  The next appointment is in 6 months.  Such great news!

It will be a quiet evening for me.  I am not feeling especially tired like I was last night.  Last night I actually went to bed around 8 pm.  I was simply wiped out.  I don't know why, I just was.  I had a decent night sleep, I did get up once to take some more pain medicine, but other than that, it was a good night for a change.  I think tonight will be a regular night sleep.

Tomorrow I have to get some light bulbs as the kitchen and the dining room are out.  The problem?  I can't hold my arms up long enough to change them myself so my friend, Heather B-T is going to change them during the kids lessons.  Thank God for good friends!!!  It is rather embarrassing though to have to ask someone to change both the dining room and the kitchen light bulbs, thank goodness I don't mind a little embarrassment if it means I get them changed!  I have definitely discovered humility with Fibromyalgia and Arthritis.  I also have Bursitis in my shoulders, so basically, I am a mess.  What can I say???  When the lights in the kitchen blew at Christmas Annie was in town so she changed them.  Once again i was fortunate.  I am very blessed with friends that help me do things.

I am not sure what is for dinner tonight as I am not very hungry.  I need to clean out my crock pot because I am going to make a roast this weekend.  After it is finished I cut it up into several meals and freeze the extras.  It makes for several meals that way and boy are they yummy.  I do like using my crock pot a lot.  It makes cooking really easy.  Toss in and heat!  How hard is that?  Not very hard, even for me.

Pain level isn't too bad for a change.  It is nicer out than it has been so I am thankful for that.  Not as much pain in the warmer, but not too hot, weather.  My hips like the new medicine.  I can get out of chairs so much easier now.  I am very thankful for the new stuff.  I only wish the Savella worked too, but as I have less pain, over all it is better.  If only I could lift my arms!  Ugh, I guess I can't have everything!

I do hope this finds you doing well and having a less pain day too.  Spring may have finally sprung here in Michigan.

boy is it a better day

I am glad yesterday is over.  It ended on me breaking down (again!) around 11:30 when I was heading to bed.  I cried for another hour or so.  I don't usually have this issue, but with it being the little lady's birthday and all, I did expect it.  It is hard for me to believe how much I can miss one person and how big a hole in the heart and soul can be.  But it is true, my heart is so broken over this.  I think maybe if I had children of my own to take care of it would be different, but I doubt it.  I just miss her so much of the time.  It is all the little things not even the big things that I miss.

I have one lesson tonight, Charlie.  He plays the tenor saxophone and is doing very well.  I am pleased with his progress most of the time.  There is the rare time that he didn't practice enough or at all, but those are far apart, thank goodness.  He is also a drummer.  He is going to play a percussion piece at the spring concert in May.  I can't wait and I think my little student, Acer can't wait either.  Acer and Charlie get along so well.  It is quite nice to see the 16 year old with the 6 year old.  They are pals.

Katie and Rachel are audition this weekend for a scholarship.  It is a $500 scholarship.  I think both are ready.  I know Rachel is since she has sung both songs before.  Katie chose songs she has sung before to because we decided at the last minute she would audition.  Rachel's mom called me this morning because she couldn't find an accompanist for her.  I just found one for Katie so the same nice lady is going to do both.  I was slightly embarrassed though because when I called to let Bea know that Katie was doing it, she said she got Rachel's application.  Well, I had sent Rachel a cover sheet about it in email but I never gave her the application because they never sent me their address.  Rachel's mom must have called them for it.  But that is how I found out Rachel is also auditioning.  I am glad she is, but I wish I had known before I called so I wouldn't have been like, wow, really?  Cool.  So both girls will be here on Thursday to practice with Bea.  It should be lots of fun.

Not too much going on here.  I am absolutely exhausted from the meltdowns yesterday.  I plan to go to bed a bit early or take a nap, one of the two.  I should be doing some house work but I am just too tired to do it.  It is a nice and relaxing day so far, just on the tired side.  I don't have to be anywhere for a change, no doctors appointments or bloodtests or anything like that.  I do hope this finds you doing well.

Mom's birthday

Today is Momma's 77th birthday.  It is the first one I have every celebrated without her.  i don't think since I was born there has been a birthday of hers I have missed.  It has been a rough day, I would have to say.  Tears here and there.  I wish she were here.  I do realize she is better off since she doesn't have Alzheimer's anymore, but I still miss her terribly.  Last year we had two birthday parties for her.  The reason for the two is that I originally only planned one, but our friends couldn't come to the first one because most of them didn't have passports.  Well, because so many of them couldn't come I decided to have a separate party just for friends at our house.  It was a good choice.  We had the family party.  It was an open house but everyone stayed for pretty much the entire thing.  I was happy that almost the entire family was there and I know Mom was happy to see them.  She didn't speak much to them but that is normal for Mom, she just smiled and smiled which made me very happy.  She got some nice things too from the family.  The following Saturday, we had the cake and ice cream party for our friends.  Oh my, the living room was so full of our friends and neighbors it was unbelievable.  That made both me and Mom smile too.  It was such a nice time.  Mom got a lot of nice cards and gifts.  The cards she would read over and over for the next few weeks.  It was like a nice surprise for her every time she picked one up.  I left the cards on the dining room table for her to find and read for a few weeks before I put them up in her room.  She liked looking at them in her room.

When I look back at the last year, sometimes I just can't believe a year has past.  She was doing okay at this point a year ago.  Her eating had become an issue at this point as she barely ate at all but she was drinking 3 to 4 ensures a day so she was getting enough nutrition.  She could walk by herself although she preferred to hold my hand for guidance.  Then she knew she was going in the proper direction.  She could feed herself and dress herself at this point too.  The only thing I did was to hand her her pants so that they would go on right.  She also still helped me get dressed at this point.  I also thought we had years left with her at this time last year.  She was only in stage 4.  Mom was pretty independent last March.  I had only an inkling of knowing this could be it.  I wish we could go back in time because I want to be with her.  I most of the time liked being with her all day and night.  We still played some games then.  It wasn't until May that she flew through stages 5 through 6 and ended at the beginning of stage 7.  She smiled and laughed a lot last year at this time.  All I would have to say is, where's that pretty Mom's smile and she would smile.  I also got pictures taken of her last March.  Boy, am I glad I did.  I had no idea that those would be the last professional pictures ever taken of her.  I had no idea at all.  I am glad she let me get them down.  The day we went, she was all, I don't want my picture taken.  So I told her I already made the appointment but if she still didn't want them taken when we got there we wouldn't do it.  Naturally, she forgot she didn't want her picture taken and when the photographer asked if she was the one getting her picture taken she said yes and let her take the pictures.  I think they turned out very nicely.  Pretty much all of the family and a few close friends got a picture of her.  I still have Richard's copy here at the house. but I sent him a copy by email.  I do wonder how my brothers are doing today.  Sometimes I am fine and others I am in tears.  I would say it is mostly a tears day.  I suppose it will get easier.  It doesn't seem like it to me, but I suppose I will get used to this.

I hope you are having a better day than me.  I am just very sad today.

Sunday - a Day of Rest?

I am actually doing laundry.  I realized I have absolutely no clean pants (except the pair I am wearing) for the day to day wear.  i do have dress pants clean, but they are for dress up stuff not day to day.  I have nice fleece, warm pants for day to day stuff.  I also have no clean cute sweatshirts that are for daily wear except my Christmas one, so I put on a t-shirt and dragged the laundry downstairs.  I just have to transfer it to the dryer.  Be right back!  Clothes are now in the dryer.  Now I am tired.  You would think I was running a marathon not putting clothes in the dryer!  Stupid Fibro!  Even mundane, boring, supposedly easy jobs tire me out.  Ugh, oh, well, I don't have to do anything with them for a bit so that is good.

I went to Tim Horton's today.  I was feeling cooped up in the house so after a few minutes I packed myself and a book up and off I went.  I stayed for about 2 hours reading.  It was a nice change.  I just needed to get out of the house for a few minutes.  You know how it is, the house feels smaller and smaller until you want to scream, so instead of screaming, I went out.  Good choice.  I am reading "Awakening" by Angela Hunt.  It is a book I bought a long time ago but never read.  I always meant to but the subject became to close to me.  It is about a woman a bit younger than me and how she is learning to live without her mother, who had dementia.  Now when I bought it, Mom was only showing small signs of Alzheimer's.  I was too busy at the time to read it so I put it aside.  Then when I had time, I couldn't read it.  Reading it now I see there are only few parallels of our lives.  Her mother was a typical dementia patient and didn't know who her daughter was at the end.  My mother was not typical, she didn't get angry very often, she wasn't belligerent, or angry.  She was polite and usually pretty quiet.  She also most of the time knew who I was.  Also, the main character, Aurora hasn't left her apartment for about 10 years even while her mother was living, where as I have no problem going out into the world.  She feels some resentment to her mother about taking care of her and I don't resent taking care of my mom.  I could have placed her anytime if I felt I needed to.  I believed she would have better care, and my friends have agreed, if I took care of her.  I got her whatever help I needed.  The only thing I wish I hadn't done that I have done was to place her for rehab in a nursing home for the 2 1/2 weeks she spent in one this past summer.  That was not good for her and I wish I could undo that.  It was a painfully bad experience for the both of us.  Anyways, the main theme in the book is that she finds herself and more importantly, she finds God.  Since I am close to God, I no longer see any real resemblance between me and the main character, thus reading the book is not painful like it seemed like it would be.  I love Angela Hunt's work.  She has written some incredible wonderful books.  I have read pretty much everything she has ever written except maybe a newer book since I haven't boughten any of her books since this one came out in 2004.  So I am a bit behind, but I will fix that soon.

It is a quiet day around here with just the laundry going.  I did the dishes the other day so I need to empty out the dishwasher and fill it with the dirty dishes.  I didn't get as much done as I wanted yesterday so I may finish that up.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet right now.  I don't mind silence like I did a few months ago.  I still miss Mom so much.  I have come to the conclusion that I will probably miss her like I do now forever.  I am starting to make plans of my future, although the future still scares me at times.  I do wish I saw my brothers more often than I do or at least spoke to them on a regular basis.  Both are horrible at keeping in touch.  Basically it is all me, I do the calling, I do the writing, the emailing, the messaging, but since I want to know how they are doing, I don't mind.  Maybe one day I will, but not right now.  I do hope to see both boys soon.  I don't think it fazes them as much as it does me that we are all that is left of Mom.  I am thankful for my uncles and my many cousins as they are very much appreciated, but of Mom, my brother's are all that is left of her.  I just wish I saw them more.

It is an okay day for pain for a change.  The celebrex really helps the lower back and the hips especially at night when I get up from sitting.  I am so thankful we started that.  At first, it didn't seem like it worked until I went a few days without it.  I hadn't noticed I was getting up easier until it was hard again.  I don't take the Savella as it gave me insomnia, but I am taking the Celebrex

Well, so far it is a good day.  I hope you are having a good day too!

Saturday musings

I had 3 lessons total today.  It was a quick 1 3/4 hours let me tell you and fun.  All three students are doing very well.  Amanda and Kayla each started a new song today.  I was happy with what they did.  Kayla did tell me that when Katie came early last week it made her nervous so today when Katie arrived I had her go into the dining room for a few minutes this way Kayla would be able to continue without being embarrassed.  She had much more confidence today than she has had.  I was pleased with this.  Katie is auditioning for a scholarship next Saturday if we can find someone to accompany her.  I do hope we do because she really wants to do this and if she doesn't then they have to cancel the scholarship.  We are on a time crunch with this.  Both my friends are just not available although 1 is checking with her student to see if she would be available.  I also just called another teacher I know in case he can do it.  I can play the songs, I just don't accompany very well, I start listening to the singing and well, there goes the piano part.  I just never learned the art of accompanying.  I think that is something I need to learn.  I wonder how much Georgette would charge to teach me.  Hm, I will find out.  I figure either she or Diane can teach me to do this.  I can play the piano pretty well although I think I teach it much better than I play.  I could be wrong on this, but who knows!

I had planned on doing housework today.  I am going to vacuum the rest of Mom's room, the path in my room (yes, it needs to be decluttered since things are no longer where they belong), the spare room, and the hallway with the stairs.  That should be enough for the day.  I try not to overdo it because the pain is immense when I do.  I don't wish to spend all day tomorrow in bed.  While I don't have much planned for tomorrow, I still do not wish to be in bed from pain all day.  That would be a drag to say the least.  I don't know what I will do after that, I may read.  I have 2 books I haven't read yet waiting on the table and I have one I am currently reading.  I love reading but sometimes I just don't feel like it.  I have a hard time some days finding enough good stuff to do.  I think sometimes my naps in the afternoon are not only because I am tired but I am bored.  My new course hasn't arrived yet.  I can't wait until it does.  Should be here sometime next week.  I am anxious to get started with it.

It is almost 3 in the afternoon so I am heading upstairs soon to start my vacuuming.  It won't take long but I would like it done before dinner.  I may do the dining room, kitchen, and utility room floors tomorrow.  I have to also scrub them.  Yuck.  Oh well, it needs to be done so I will do it.  I plan to also watch some of the DVDs that I have that I haven't seen yet.  I keep meaning to but then when I have the time I end up doing something else.  I feel like I am in the waiting mode and I don't wait very well.  Patience is not my best virtue.

It is chilly out so my hips and legs are a bit sore today, plus since I split pop on my chair last night I had to sit on a different chair, so that caused extra pain too.  It is sunny out though so that is a plus.  I just wish we had slightly warmer weather to go along with the sun.  I do hope we are finished with snow!  I am so tired of it.  Well, I hope you are having a good day too!