Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday - a Day of Rest?

I am actually doing laundry.  I realized I have absolutely no clean pants (except the pair I am wearing) for the day to day wear.  i do have dress pants clean, but they are for dress up stuff not day to day.  I have nice fleece, warm pants for day to day stuff.  I also have no clean cute sweatshirts that are for daily wear except my Christmas one, so I put on a t-shirt and dragged the laundry downstairs.  I just have to transfer it to the dryer.  Be right back!  Clothes are now in the dryer.  Now I am tired.  You would think I was running a marathon not putting clothes in the dryer!  Stupid Fibro!  Even mundane, boring, supposedly easy jobs tire me out.  Ugh, oh, well, I don't have to do anything with them for a bit so that is good.

I went to Tim Horton's today.  I was feeling cooped up in the house so after a few minutes I packed myself and a book up and off I went.  I stayed for about 2 hours reading.  It was a nice change.  I just needed to get out of the house for a few minutes.  You know how it is, the house feels smaller and smaller until you want to scream, so instead of screaming, I went out.  Good choice.  I am reading "Awakening" by Angela Hunt.  It is a book I bought a long time ago but never read.  I always meant to but the subject became to close to me.  It is about a woman a bit younger than me and how she is learning to live without her mother, who had dementia.  Now when I bought it, Mom was only showing small signs of Alzheimer's.  I was too busy at the time to read it so I put it aside.  Then when I had time, I couldn't read it.  Reading it now I see there are only few parallels of our lives.  Her mother was a typical dementia patient and didn't know who her daughter was at the end.  My mother was not typical, she didn't get angry very often, she wasn't belligerent, or angry.  She was polite and usually pretty quiet.  She also most of the time knew who I was.  Also, the main character, Aurora hasn't left her apartment for about 10 years even while her mother was living, where as I have no problem going out into the world.  She feels some resentment to her mother about taking care of her and I don't resent taking care of my mom.  I could have placed her anytime if I felt I needed to.  I believed she would have better care, and my friends have agreed, if I took care of her.  I got her whatever help I needed.  The only thing I wish I hadn't done that I have done was to place her for rehab in a nursing home for the 2 1/2 weeks she spent in one this past summer.  That was not good for her and I wish I could undo that.  It was a painfully bad experience for the both of us.  Anyways, the main theme in the book is that she finds herself and more importantly, she finds God.  Since I am close to God, I no longer see any real resemblance between me and the main character, thus reading the book is not painful like it seemed like it would be.  I love Angela Hunt's work.  She has written some incredible wonderful books.  I have read pretty much everything she has ever written except maybe a newer book since I haven't boughten any of her books since this one came out in 2004.  So I am a bit behind, but I will fix that soon.

It is a quiet day around here with just the laundry going.  I did the dishes the other day so I need to empty out the dishwasher and fill it with the dirty dishes.  I didn't get as much done as I wanted yesterday so I may finish that up.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet right now.  I don't mind silence like I did a few months ago.  I still miss Mom so much.  I have come to the conclusion that I will probably miss her like I do now forever.  I am starting to make plans of my future, although the future still scares me at times.  I do wish I saw my brothers more often than I do or at least spoke to them on a regular basis.  Both are horrible at keeping in touch.  Basically it is all me, I do the calling, I do the writing, the emailing, the messaging, but since I want to know how they are doing, I don't mind.  Maybe one day I will, but not right now.  I do hope to see both boys soon.  I don't think it fazes them as much as it does me that we are all that is left of Mom.  I am thankful for my uncles and my many cousins as they are very much appreciated, but of Mom, my brother's are all that is left of her.  I just wish I saw them more.

It is an okay day for pain for a change.  The celebrex really helps the lower back and the hips especially at night when I get up from sitting.  I am so thankful we started that.  At first, it didn't seem like it worked until I went a few days without it.  I hadn't noticed I was getting up easier until it was hard again.  I don't take the Savella as it gave me insomnia, but I am taking the Celebrex

Well, so far it is a good day.  I hope you are having a good day too!


  1. I'm glad you are getting some relief from the Celebrex. It helps me, too, but pretty soon I have to go off it and also go down to 5mg of Prednisone due to my surgery. Oh, gee, oh bliss!!!

    Hope you have a good week!

  2. Sundays tend to wear me out. We go to church about 45 minutes from home and we always get home later than I would like. Speaking of laundry, I need to get mine going:) Have a good day!