Maia 8-4

I received a text message from my cousin, Maia's daughter, Danielle at about 1.  She sent it earlier but I didn't get it as I was sleeping.  She said to come right away so I did.  I got dressed and went to Windsor.  Maia nearly died last night and the hospice staff feel that she will pass away tonight.  Maia is still hanging on though so I don't know if she will or not.  I remember when the doctor told me that Momma would pass away and she lasted another 5 days so it is hard to say.  Our family is stubborn and strong at the same time.  I hope for Maia's sake that she isn't in as much pain and her passing is quiet and fast.  She has suffered enough.

Darrin and Luana, Maia's brother and sister, were also there with their children.  Pretty much the entire side of Maia's family and me were there.  Lia, Maia's oldest daughter, and Alex, Maia's oldest son, came in from out of town.  They are here indefinitely since the end is quite near.  This happened much faster than what they told us originally.  The doctor said she would have about 6 months, then she went into the hospital and now it is only weeks from when we were told months.  It is so fast.  I don't think you can really predict this type of timetable at times.  With Maia having so many types of cancer and it spreading so fast, I don't know how they could predict really anything with her.  The skin cancer is spreading and the other cancers inside her are also spreading.

It was somewhat nice to see other cousins but only somewhat because of the reason.  If it wasn't for the reason why, it would have been really nice.  I met Alex's fiance, Laila.  She was really nice and Lia's husband, Rick and daughter, Esther were there too.  Esther is almost 3 and Elizabeth, Danielle's almost 5 year old were playing together.  They really didn't understand what was going on at that age.  I wouldn't have expected them too.  They are just too young.  I was with them by myself for a while.  It was nice to focus and watch them for a while.  I did learn that both girls' favorite color is pink and Elizabeth's 2nd favorite color is purple.  Mine are reversed, I like purple first and then pink.  Esther didn't really have a 2nd favorite color.  They were playing pretty nicely together for the most part.  Both girls have so much energy it is amazing to me.  If only they could pass some to me.  That would be beautiful but they can't so I just watch them.  Lia was planning on spending the night.

When we all left at 5, Maia's boyfriend, Mark had arrived.  He requested everyone leave and let him be with Maia alone.  He has been so solid through this whole thing.  I am so glad that he is able to spend some time with her.  Tilley went to pick him up from work and then she will take him back.  I am also glad he requested that we all leave because otherwise I think most of us, including me, wouldn't have thought to give them some time alone.  I think most of us would have stayed in the waiting room.  I am not sure though since he did ask all of us to leave.  Danielle didn't want to but I think she did leave too.  I came home.  I didn't want to go anywhere else.  I needed to come home and rest.  I am not sure what the week will bring so I have to rest when I can.

I don't know what is going to happen when Maia dies outside of there will be no funeral.  She doesn't want one so there won't be one.  It is her choice, instead she would like a celebration BBQ at her mom, Tilley's house.  It will be a potluck, like we usually do, but all Maia's kids have to be there, which makes perfect sense to me.  I am not sure who all will be there, but I do know I will be.  It is for Maia and she is my closest cousin.  Maia was there when Momma died and she helped me as much as she could with Momma.  She was there for me after Momma died.  We visited with each other quite frequently.  We talked online a lot too.  It will be so strange not to have her here.  Just like it was so strange and still is strange without Momma.  So much of this reminds me in small ways of watching my mother die.  I was all alone when I was at the hospital.  I went everyday.  I had to.  How could I not when each day could be the last day my mother would be alive?  I still miss her terribly.  I probably always will.  Maia is only 50 and her kids are 19, 22, 27, 28 or something like that.  They are so young to lose their mother.  They really are.

What will tomorrow bring?  Will Maia survive the night?  I only pray that she isn't in so much pain and that she passes quickly and effortlessly.  I love her so much, we all do.  She is very much loved and important to all of us.