Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday 12-17

I saw the Doctor about the carpal tunnel.  I have no nerve damage in my wrists or neck, which is good. Although in light of news that I have received about Mrs. S it seems so insignificant compared to their news.  It breaks my heart that Chris and his family will be losing his mom.  How can this happen to him?  I know how heartbreaking this is.  I dread the day where anymore of my friends lose their parent or parents.  It almost seems like it makes my health issues so not as important.  I almost was embarrassed earlier today to give the news that there is no nerve damage.  I don't understand how doctors can not cure cancer, no matter what stage.  How can they not?  There have been so many advances in medicine that they should be able to fix Mrs. S and give her a longer life.  How do you even prepare if you are the one is dying?  I know theoretically that no one really knows when their live will end, but when you are faced with a general idea of when you will die how do you deal with it?  I remember when Mom was dying.  She was alert the first day and not the rest of the week.  She wasn't prepared to go at that point.  She asked me if I was taking her home.  I told her yes, but I meant Heaven not where we lived together.  I am thankful that mom really didn't know what was going on but Mrs. S does know what is going on.  It is just one of those moments when life reminds you of what is really important.

I just want to live in a bubble where everyone is healthy and lives forever.  I know, I am a dreamer.

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