Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve

It is Christmas Eve!  Yup, it has FINALLY arrived!!!!!  I am going to the 7 pm service at my old church (the one I grew up in) and then we head back to Kathy's parents house for the opening of presents.  Santa comes while we are at church!  I have my gift for Kathy's parents ready and waiting to go.

So far it has been a good day.  Kathy called to let me know what time things were happening and then Jose, Mom's friend called.   He is very sad.  His wife (and she was a witch) died a few months ago and he is very, very bitter about it.  He also misses my mom a lot too.  I do feel bad for him as this is the first Christmas without her.  I asked if he was going to church this evening because I know he and Dorothy used to go all the time.  He said no.  He is at the stage where he is angry with God.  I totally understand.  We didn't talk to much after that but that is okay.  Sometimes, I think he is transferring how he felt about my mother to me and it creeps me out.  That is partly why I don't talk to him very often.  I did talk to Donna.  I think she is a bit lonely since she won't be spending the holidays with her daughter's family.  I don't know.  I know she is homebound a lot now that she doesn't have a car.  She was in a bad accident last winter and has been without a car ever since.  I try to take her out every so often, but with my schedule and her schedule, it doesn't happen a lot.  I did see her last weekend after church on Sunday and it was pretty good.

I am anxious to see what Kathy's kids get for Christmas.  I love watching how excited they are about the presents.  The twins are 5 now and Jacob is 9 or 10 with Matthew at 13.  I love watching children open presents on Christmas Eve or Day.  I used to take a lot of pictures of Abby and William when they were small but I haven't seen them in 3 1/2 years.  I don't anticipate seeing them any time soon.  I don't know if Andrew has spoken to Richard lately or not, I haven't asked.  I do hope Andrew texts him Merry Christmas.  I don't also think Richard will call on Christmas to speak to me.  I actually don't expect him to ever speak to me again.  He is very angry with me and knowing him, he will hold a grudge for a very long time.  Today, I am okay with this, some days I am not, but today is okay.

I was thinking about Mom a lot these past few days.  It is days like this that I miss her the most especially the woman she became with Alzheimer's.  Mom was always excited about Christmas and Christmas Eve, but even more so when she became ill because she could remember Christmas from when she was a little girl.  Fortunately, she never really lost what Christmas was before she passed away.  I do think she would have had she lived last year to see the Christmas.  I really wish she had because I really wanted a last good Christmas for her but God decided she needed to go home before that.  You just can't really argue with God, I have tried and it doesn't work.  Anyways, she was still enough of herself at the last Christmas she had, in 2009.  We spent it in Windsor.  It was the first year in my life that I can remember we didn't go to church.  Even when we were with Richard or with someone else, Mom would find a church for us to attend.  She firmly believed that if you can't celebrate the real meaning of Christmas, then you can't celebrate the other side to it.  Jesus' birthday was first and foremost in her mind and I agree.  I only missed 2 in my whole life.  1 when I had my surgery and Mom and I had a little bit of home church after she came home from the service, and the other in 2009 when we were at Tillie's.  The reason I didn't take her to church that night is because she really couldn't handle sitting there.  She was just too sick.  I was glad thought that she didn't remember we didn't go to church so she wouldn't be upset.  It upset her when we missed church.  Mom always felt a week starts off right when you go to church on Sunday.  She (I do agree with her, my weeks are better when I start them off with church) just believed it set your week up well to go.  Mom really didn't like missing church at all.  So anyways, we spent the night at Tillie's.  We watched Star Wars on Christmas Eve.  Christmas Day we opened presents and then Andrew came to spend the day with us.  I am glad he did.  It had been years since we spent a Christmas with him and it was important to Mom that she see her baby.  (Andrew is the youngest and is proud to be the "baby" of the family)  She spoke to Richard and the kids on the phone, which made her smile and she was with Andrew.  Now Andrew was shocked at Mom's shape.  I tried to tell him, but unless you actually see her in motion, you don't get it.  It was the start of the downhill turn in the little lady's life.  I am glad he got to spend some time with her that day, and the days at my Uncle's house.  He really needed too.

I will see the little brother on Monday.  I am very excited about it.  I will also see my cousin, Jayson, and my Aunt and Uncle.

I do hope you are having a great Christmas!!!  Merry Christmas!!!!

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