hmm, 11-27

Some many things are racing through my mind tonight.  I don't know why but they are.  Things I need to do, things I want to do, things I don't want to do, you get the picture.  There is so much I just don't know anymore.  I have so many questions about what to do with my life outside of teaching, that there is no question about.  I was born to teach and I love it.  I can't teach as much as I would like, but I am thankful for what I can do.  I think that is the biggest question.  I had to get up early about 5 days this past week.  I felt a crash and burn coming on with the bad headache that I would wake up with and the overall bad feeling.  Yesterday walking from the car to the movie theatre entrance, then to the ticket booth, then to the snack bar, and finally into our theatre was exhausting and painful.  By the time we sat down my legs and hips were burning.  Fortunately, it didn't last too long, but it was burning.  I think it was all a part of the about to crash and burn again flare.  Since I could feel it coming, I didn't set my alarm to go to church today.  I just couldn't because I really felt like I would have woken up to crash and burn mode and that generally means a ER visit.  I think I avoided it.  There are a couple of openings left for students and then that will be it unless one quits.  Thursdays are full to the rim but I do have one opening on a couple of other days.  I am almost to the limit.  Once i reach there, I will have to call the online company and let them know that until a student quits, I can't take anymore.  In some ways it is a nice feeling to know I am almost full, in other ways it isn't because I used to be able to handle 50 to 60 lessons a week without a problem.  Now I couldn't do it at all.  It is just too exhausting.  I really enjoyed myself this long weekend and I did pace myself as best as I could so I am pleased with that.  I just needed today to really rest and I did that.  I did have 2 lessons, but they were low key students and it was fun but the rest of the day is resting.  I am very glad that I had my students today because they allowed me to have the day off yesterday to be with Kathy and I am glad about that.  It just makes me wonder about a lot of things.  I no longer feel the crash and burn feeling and the headache is the normal headache now but what would have happened if I had gone to church?  I nearly passed out last week too so would I have had that happen this week?  I don't know but I wasn't going to find out either.  I don't know what is going on with this lightheadedness but no one seems to be too worried about it.  It doesn't happen all the time, but every so often.  I hope it goes away soon.

Aggie had her lesson today after not having one for a very long time.  I was happy to see her.  i copied her song on my computer for the concert so I now have it.  I have a copy of Breanna's song too.  I just need to copy it on the computer.  I need to put the concert in order.  I will do that this week.  I will be working on the program during the week but I won't be printing it until Saturday because if I print it earlier, than I always end up needing to print it again, this way, I don't.  i won't be going to church next Sunday because of the concert.  I will need the extra rest in the morning to get through the afternoon.  I know this from previous concerts.  I have about a good 5 to 6 hours a day and that is about it.  Anything after that is very iffy and I can't guarantee that I am with it or able to function.  I have a very limited window and that is just the way this illness leaves me.  I am glad I have that window though because some people I know, don't even have that.  After a couple of hours they are wiped out.  At least I get a good 5 or 6 hours out of it.  Camille also had her lesson today.  She graciously switched from yesterday to today so I could spend the entire day with Kathy and family.  We went over the jingle bells songs that everyone is singing at the end at the end of her lesson.  I think she enjoyed the singing.  Her piano pieces are doing well.  I am very pleased with her progress.  She doesn't want to go to competition this year either.  That leaves Aggie, Katie, and Rebecca for competition this year.  Calli is just too busy and so is Acer so they are planning to go next year.  Hey, what works for them, works for me.

I am going to get some dinner now.  I am kind of hungry.  Then I am going to do a bit of sewing, mostly cutting out the ornaments before I go to bed.  I am very tired tonight.  I foresee going to bed rather early for a change since I am so exhausted.  I am glad I didn't get the crash and burn flare that was coming or at least I hope I missed it by resting more today than usual.  I can always hope.

I do hope you had a good Thanksgiving weekend and are enjoying your day.