Thursday, September 16, 2010

It has been a terrible day so far.  I have cried so much today.  Mom had trouble coming down the stairs, she refused to which started the crying off.  Every once in a while she has trouble and I know it.  Usually I do much better at handling it.  I go back up the stairs and pretty much hold her all the way down.  Today I just cried.  She wanted to talk to someone else, several someone elses, like the manager, the other lady, the commissioner, everyone but me so that made me cry harder.  Finally, I stopped and then she was fine, like nothing happened.  She got in and out of the car fine and we went to our usual.  She didn't eat much of her donut though, which is unusual for her because she loves her donuts.  I am fine now.  I don't really know what caused the major meltdowns, I am not in any more pain than usual so who knows.  We all have our bad days, I am just glad hers isn't too bad too, that would be a nightmare.  She is in the living room right now resting.  I don't know if she is sleeping, she might be.  She was so tired yesterday.  Last night, it was kind of cute, she wouldn't go to bed when she was falling asleep at the table, just like a little kid.  We finally did go to bed around 9:30 which is normal for us.  It takes me about 20 or so minutes to get her ready and then we sit on her bed for a few minutes.  I tell her I am going to move her, when I do she gets a bit upset like she does every night.  If I don't move her though she moves her legs over the edge of the bed and that causes back pains for her, so that is why I move her to the middle of the bed.  She doesn't like being moved into bed or out of bed, but I know that and it doesn't bother me one bit she says, oh, oh, oh.  I just move her like I need to and that is that.

Things should improve by 4 pm because I have 1 lesson today.  Mom is getting her bath today too.  I can't wait until next week when Angela comes back.  This new one is nice, but she doesn't do a very good job with Mom's hair.  I don't even think she did anything to it on Monday.  We use some no rinse stuff that is much better for Mom because she doesn't like being cold when I wash her hair in the sink.  We got it from the hospital and it works really well.  I like it a lot.  I plan to use it with her for a very long time because it does work so well for her.  The trick is you have to wipe her hair with a wet wash cloth to get the dirt and oil out of her hair and I don't think the new girl does that very well.  I also don't think she dampens Mom's hair enough to get a good foam for it.  But I am not too worried, because Angela does a great job and she will be back on Monday from her Honeymoon.

Other than the lesson and Mom's bath (which will happen right near each other) there isn't anything going on in the house.  I may go out for a quick trip to the store to get some milk and bread with Mom, depending on how tired she is.  We don't need much, but there is no milk in the house or bread and with the trouble she had today, a home breakfast might have been the best way to go.  I had no choice but to take her to our usual because we had no food in the house for me to eat breakfast.  I don't like cereal with ensure, it upsets my stomach.

It is going to thunderstorm soon, I can already hear the thunder.  I guess that fits my mood.  I am very worn out from the meltdowns this late morning/early afternoon.  It all happened around 12 noon.  I am going to join Mom in the living room for a nap, I hope I feel much better when I wake up.  Right now, I am exhausted from crying so hard.  I guess sometimes you just need a good cry and I haven't had one in a long while, not since Mom was in the nursing home in June.

I hope this finds you doing much better than me.  Have a great day!


  1. ((((hugs))))
    Sorry you've had a lousy day. Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

  2. Heather, because you are caring for your Mom, you may not realize how stressful that is. And that is not counting your health issues. You needed that good cry in order to move on. I'm worried about you sweetie.