Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday 10-7

I only had 1 lesson today.  Acer is ill so he and his sister, Calli didn't have lessons so I only had Emily.  She is 8 now and in 3rd grade.  She is such a cutie.  I think she is finally getting her notes down pat.  She has had a bit of trouble with them.  Emily is in book 1B now and we are in the part of reviewing C Position.  We will be starting Christmas Songs soon.  I meant to pull them out this past weekend, but since I wasn't feeling so hot, I didn't.  I will do that this weekend.  Some of the music is out all ready and some of it just needs to have the CDs and the music copied.  Now that I have a lot more students, it will be necessary to copy the music needed.

The next few weeks are going to hard to get through.  I will need help.  The one year anniversary of Momma going to Heaven.  October 18th is the day she passed away but she started dying on October 9, when she aspirated on her ensure drink.  Those 10 days were some of the worst of my life and to live through the anniversary will be hard too.  I miss her as much as I did then.  I know some relatives have said it is time to get over it, but I listen to my friends who are or were in the position I am in, and they say, it takes a long time.  I believe it.  this past year has been filled with so much emotion that I can't even imagine.  Last year at this time, I believed Momma would last to at least Christmas, or at least I hoped she would.  I wanted to give her a great Christmas, not so much with presents, but with the decorations and doing what she did when we were young.  She made Christmas so magical when I was a small child.  I remember coming home from school and Momma saying that the Christmas Elves came to decorate the house, inside and out.  My brothers and I thought that was just amazing.  The Christmas Elves even had placed all the ornaments that we were able to put on the inside patio room tree.  That was the tree we were allowed to decorate.  Momma, well, we thought the Elves, decorated the living room tree and we three did the big tree.  Momma would have Christmas Records playing and since we had an intercom, it would go through the entire house.  It was just magical and so exciting.  These are the things I remember most about her.  How, even after my dad left us with almost, and I mean almost nothing, she would still make things fun and magical.  She didn't want us to feel sorry for ourselves or be too upset so she kept us busy.  When we got older Christmas got harder because of family strife.  Everyone goes through family strife sometimes in their lives.  Mine was when we were teenagers.  My brothers were making some really bad decisions and going down the wrong road, while Mom was so worried that I would follow in their footsteps and was very hard on me.  I began to hate the holidays, not the time to get ready for them, only the actually holiday itself.  Once I was in my 20s, I began to love the holidays again.  Mom and I moved past our disagreements, we apologized for some of our behaviors.  She apologized for me and I apologized to her.  We became friends, not just Mother and Daughter.  Momma didn't even get to have one more Halloween.  I don't particularly like Halloween, but she loved it.  She loved the costumes the smaller children wore and was so excited to pass out candy for trick or treating.  I hid in the dining room last Halloween.  I shall do that again too.  Memories of Momma dying in the hospice unit are in my head tonight.  I hope the next 12 days won't be so hard for me and I hope I will be able to remember the good times and not the end.  Although, I will say, I was very lucky on the way she died in the way her last words to me were "I love you" and I was able to tell her how much I loved her and goodbye.  So many people don't get that chance and I did.  I am so grateful for that.  I really am.  That was a gift from God Himself.

Monday is the Canadian Thanksgiving.  I have been invited to Tillie's.  I guess much of the family will be going to her house for dinner.  I am not able to attend as next week is a busy week for my Monday students.  I also really don't have the gas and tunnel fare to go so I won't be going.  I am not sure what is going on for Thanksgiving here because I have invited my cousin, Cathy to come like she did last year.  She isn't sure if she can come or not.  As it gets closer we will both know what is going on.  If she doesn't come then I most likely will be going to Kathy's parents with her family.  It is a very fun time when I am there.  I love spending the time with her family.  Since Kathy and I have been friends for 40 years now, I know her parents well too as well as her brother.  I met Dan's, Kathy's younger brother, wife, Tracy last Christmas.  She is a lovely woman and I really liked her a lot.

I am rather tired tonight so I am hoping to get a good night's sleep.  We shall see!  I do hope you are having a good day too!

No comments:

Post a Comment