Wednesday, November 3, 2010


I went to make a deposit to the bank today and couldn't.  They have froze my mom's bank account right now until it goes through the courts.  I have been waiting for them to do this, but since they weren't I did use the account.  Now I can't.  Even expecting things like this are hard for me.  Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world.  I am not feeling very well today, I am have a cold for the first time in years.  Not really happy about this.  The only good thing is I can't pass it on to Mom and have her get sick too.  I am trying really hard to stay positive about everything.  I am usually an optimist person so I am sure I will be that way again, just right now I am so sad.  I have discovered you can me smile and mean it and be sad at the same time.  I was upset at the bank but that was over the whole situation, not because they can't let me use Mom's account.  I do totally understand and will get that taken care of within the next little bit.  My upset was because Mom is no longer here and that makes me really sad at times although, I don't feel I cry as much as I did last week.  I still want to be with Richard.  I don't think he realizes how alone I really am here at times.

Tillie is getting sick too and so is Maia.  I think they both got what Andrew passed me.  So nice of him to share.  In his defense, what else could he do, he didn't know we would get it and it was my mother's burial so he had to be there.

I am glad all that is behind me now.  I still miss her like crazy and like Missy says, the smallest things either make my cry or smile.  I was looking at some pictures of her and I was smiling last night.  I can't believe I will only see her in pictures now.  She was so full of life.  I wish everyone could have known her.

I have to take care of the state of Michigan stuff this week.  I need to fax over the stuff they want and then that will be taken care of.  I also am going to make an appointment with the bankruptcy attorney.  I have to find out what to do about Mom's too.  Does Mom still file?  I mean, how does that all work?  I don't know.  The lawyer yesterday was pretty confusing about some stuff too.  I am not sure about anything right now.  I do know that he is doing some stuff for us and it is expensive but that is the best way to do it.  It is a lot of work closing out a persons life.  You wouldn't think so, but it is.  I miss her so much today.  I have one lesson later.  I think I am going to take a brief nap shortly.  I am very tired.

I do hope this finds you doing well and enjoying your day.


  1. When all the paper work is done, you will get more benefit from your sleep. Try to remember that your Mom is truly in a better place. It will not make you stop missing her, but later things will fall into a better perspective. It is hard to see down the road and around the bend, but hold on, it will get better. If she could reach out to you and speak to you she would tell you that she is happy, and that she wants you to be happy. She is in a different time zone now, and the time spent apart does not seem long to her.

  2. You can never think right with a cold. You are sick, take care of yourself first. All things will get done in time.

    Hope you feel better really soon. Take some cold medicine and call it a night!