Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I met with the trust lawyer this morning.  Lots of money later, I have things started to close out the rest of mom's trust and estate.  Yeah, they don't mention how much money it costs now do they?  Of course not.  Whatever.  Anyways, it is started and will be finished soon.  Mom doesn't have enough assets to probate so we get to pass over that hassle.  Thank goodness for something good.

I have to reorganize the kitchen tomorrow because Richard doesn't like where some of the electrical cords are, they are a safety hazard.  I agree so I am going to fix it.  I don't need to accidentally burn our house down, that would be a worse nightmare.

I can stay in the house for three years as long as I can keep up with the bills.  A roommate will not be an option as Mom states in the trust no renting or sub renting, so I either have to handle it myself or we sell.  This all depends on me getting a job because I would like to stay here.  I like our house also, I don't really want to move right now.  Maybe later, but not right now.

I am alone tonight which is fine by me because I am getting a cold.  I am so not happy about this as Andrew had one on Saturday and it was pretty nasty so I hope that I get rid of this fast.  I haven't had a cold in years, and usually they turn into lung infections which are pretty bad.  Thank goodness I didn't get it when Mom was here.  Poor little thing, she didn't do very well when she was sick with a cold.  I took care of her when she got them though.  It made it so hard for her to breathe when she had a cold.  I am glad the last two years she really didn't get that many and she didn't have the flu because we got the flu shot every year.  I miss taking care of her.  It gave me a purpose and right now I don't have many purposes in my life.  I do have another lesson tomorrow providing I am not sick with a bad cold.  I haven't seen this particular student since Labor Day weekend.  She is supposed to have lessons every other week.  That hasn't seemed to pan out this year, so I don't count her when I figure out how many students I have on a regular basis.  It works better that she be a bonus student.  Plus her younger sister is supposed to have lessons every other week too and I haven't seen her since last February.

The canker sore in my mouth is rather painful tonight too as well as my throat.  I knew I had some cold medicine but I didn't know where it went.  I am still trying to figure out where stuff went to in the kitchen since it was redone.  Well, after I bought new stuff, I found the old stuff that works really good so that is what I will take tonight.  I have AM and PM stuff that works pretty well.  Mom didn't like it because it was a liquid, but I don't mind the taste and it has a cooling effect to.  She did better with pills.

Thinking about Mom tonight doesn't seem to hurt as much as it did yesterday.  I have cried very little today, so it is a better day than yesterday.  It still is weird and strange not to have her listening to lessons and reminding the students to practice.  She did that up to the very end.  As a matter of fact, until they disconnected her IV, she could still talk and hold short conversations as well as walk.  With the dehydration she got weaker and was unable to talk but before that she was fine.  I do hope someday they fix this disease and then no one will have to have it.  It is simply awful, like so many diseases.  I think this is one of the worse though because it robs you of yourself and your control over yourself.

It has been an alright day, I can't say good, because I am still so sad but alright is a good word for it.  I hope your day was good and enjoyable.  Don't forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them, you never know when they won't be there and you won't be able to tell them that again.


  1. I hope your mama is at peace now and suffering no more. Your sweet memories of her will fill your heart and lessen your pain...trust me, I've been there too. take care and get better quick.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your cold. They always come when your immunity is low. And you've been burnin' the candles at both ends for quite some time now!!!

    I miss taking care of my mom, too. I still, after two years, have the urge to fill her weekly pill boxes. She had a ton of stuff to take and then to have her gone, along with the pill boxes, just is a shock to the system!!! You'll find as time goes by, little things will remind you of her and you'll smile. Or you'll cry. Either way, she will never be farther than your heart. Remember that, my friend.

    Get some much needed rest!!