Tuesday, August 3, 2010

It has been an interesting day so far. Mom had MAJOR meltdowns in Tim Horton's today. I asked what was wrong because I knew she wasn't hungry as she was eating and she said she felt "ashamed". I asked why and she didn't know. I assured her she did nothing wrong and has no reason to be ashamed at all. She, of course, is over it now and doesn't remember it, but wow, can you imagine? She feels ashamed. Today is a definite I HATE Alzheimer's day. Mom has no reason to be ashamed, she doesn't do anything wrong and what she does wrong is usually a symptom of her Alzheimer's (like her temper tantrum last night by throwing a fork with chicken at me). She doesn't do anything wrong. When we got home I immediately called my friend, Donna, who knows a lot of this disease, and she said it was probably the part of Mom that is still there trying to get out and can't. Donna said I did the right thing, but man oh man, poor Mom, in tears and upset because SHE feels ashamed. Fortunately, she is fine now and doesn't feel ashamed at all. This broke my already battered heart. She is in the living room sleeping now.

My pain level is pretty high in my head because of this upset, but the pain pills are kicking in. I tried to sleep a bit in the living room with Mom but head won't shut up so I can't sleep. We didn't get up too early today, noon, so Mom is probably rather tired as she wakes up early and just lays there waiting for me to wake up. I have no students today because Zachary can't make it this week and Charlie is at band camp so it will be really quiet today. I am reading the book club book and it is good so far. I don't usually like short stories because I always want more but these are good. It is the "Ford County" by John Grisham. I like his books, they are always entertaining. We are having book club at the end of the month. We will possibly have to miss next month because Bob and Maggie will be out of town for 2 weeks, one being the usual week we have book club, so we will just go straight to October. I have the perfect book that I just finished and loved. It is called "Cleopatra's Daughter" and it is wonderful. It is new to paperback and I got it in Kalamazoo when I went there for vacation. I am ready for another vacation, but I think we are done for now. Okay, I KNOW we are done for now, but still, can't blame me for wanting another one. I know both Mom and I would love to take a vacation from our illnesses, especially the Alzheimer's. I would like a vacation from being exhausted all the time too, but hey, I can still do some stuff so that is good. As long as I can teach, I am a happy camper. Without teaching, like would be awful, so I won't think of that now.

It is really really hot and humid out today. It is supposed to possibly rain and thunderstorm today and tomorrow and then it will cool down. I can't wait for the cool down. This weather is just awful and I can only think of my friends who live in hotter places than this! What they must be going through! Stay cool and try to have a good day!!

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