Thursday, October 21, 2010

day before everything happens

Today will be another quiet day.  I don't have much to do today because everything happens tomorrow.  Tomorrow morning I go and pick up Richard then we race back to be back in time for the showing.  Then, of course, Saturday is the funeral at church.  They called today to ask if the menu was okay.  I said yes, it was fine, because 1 - it was fine and 2 - I don't really care about food right now.  Richard wants to talk to me on the way to the viewing.  Works for me as I haven't really talked to much to him in the last few months.  We have both been so busy, me with Mom and he with his family.  We do need to talk about my future.  It is looking a bit bleak after a few months, but I am not thinking about that right now.  I will deal with all that next week.  Maia is working on copying the slideshow she made of Mom onto DVDs right now.  Tillie is in the shower.  One of them is picking up Danielle tomorrow for the viewing and then Danielle will be going home with Tillie and coming back for the funeral on Saturday.

It is slowly sinking in that she is really gone.  It seems so impossible to me that just a couple of weeks ago she was perfectly fine (well, as perfect as someone gets with Alzheimer's) and now she is gone.  I had been expecting it, but still, when it happened it was a shock.  I want my Mom back.  I want her now.  Right now.  I know it isn't going to happen, but still I can wish even if the wish will not come true.

I think I will make cookies for dessert on Saturday.  I am not sure, we will see.  Maybe I will order a cake instead.  I don't know.  what is proper for these things?  I have never been in charge of one before so I don't know.

I wish this weekend was over already.  It is going to be really hard.


  1. Hi Heather, you will get thorough this weekend and the weeks to take it a day at a time my sweet friend. Mom would be so proud of you. I'm glad you will have the love of those around you to get you through. Sending you love and hugs Heather..

  2. thanks Barb! I need all the love and hugs I can get. I pick Richard up tomorrow morning. Can't wait to see him though. It has been 2 years since I saw my older brother.

  3. Heather, will continue to ask God to help guide you through the next couple of days. They can become such a blurr. I hope you are able to spend quiet time with Richard, where you can talk without being interrupted. How long will he be with you? I understand about wanting your Mom back. My Mom has been gone for 14 years and the longer she is gone, the more questions I want to ask her. Mostly about family history and her health history prior to Alzheimers. Big hugs just for you Heather.