sad day

It is with such a heavy heart I write this today.  Mom is dying.  As you know, on Sunday she was having problems with swallowing.  She can no longer eat or drink.  We took her to the ER Sunday night.  The hospice nurse came with us.  She was asperating.  The doctors feel even with a feeding tube, she would asperate the food or drink so they won't put one in.  Which I totally understand because she would get pneumonia and that would be rather painful for her.  They say she won't feel any pain, but if she does they have morphine for her.  Her bottom is sore because of the pressure sores so she had some morphine last night.  My Uncle Ken, who we haven't seen in years, came to see her.  I am so glad he did.  His son, Kenny and his daughter, Audrey came with him.  I was so glad to see them.  They stayed for about 2 hours or so, Uncle Ken is very upset by this.  I think he may come again.  I am not sure what Richard is planning to do yet because he didn't believe me when I told him in the morning that this is it.  He thought that she would pull through.  He totally understands now and so he is processing this.  I figure I will call this afternoon to check on him.  Tillie will be here with Maia this afternoon too.  I plan to spend as much time with Mom as possible.  I know I will see her again, it is just that it will be a while.  I am at peace knowing she will be with Jesus and that there is no doubt about.  That being said, I am not ready for her to make a journey like that without me.  These next few weeks will be the hardest I have ever gone through.  I am just blown away by the quickness of all this.  At least, she will not be in pain and doesn't have a clue to what is going on.  I have asked them not to tell her because 1 - she isn't going to remember anyways after a few minutes and 2 - why upset her with those few minutes, she needs to be comfortable and peaceful.  We have had visitors all evening last night which I so appreciate.

Please keep me, Mom, and my family and friends in your prayers.  There are so needed this week.