Sunday, March 20, 2011

small surprises

Well, I did it.  I went and ordered the course for writing.  When I clicked on to order it I got a big surprise!  It was 1/2 half off!  Talk about a nice surprise!  I was pleased because I don't have to use emergency money for this now.  I am so happy about that.  You just never know do you?  I do hope to get the course rather quickly because I am anxious to get started.  I now just need the creative juices that have been hiding in the fibro fog, to come out and get started again.  The nice thing is that I can do this at my pace which is probably slower than most people's pace, but hey, that is okay.  It is okay to go slower than the rest of the world, right?

It is a quiet day as I don't teach on Sundays very often anymore.  I am trying to have one day where I can not teach and do some stuff around the house.  I have time to rest if necessary so that is good.  Today's big challenge is bringing up the little sewing machine for my girls and separating hoodies for them.  I also have to bring down the hoodies that are in my room that were also mom's.  She never wore these ones so they are going to the girls.

I am still pretty tired as I had nightmares a bit last night.  I dreamed I was surrounded by Wraiths from the Stargate Atlantis show.  Very strange dream let me tell you.  I can't remember all of it, I just remember praying that the dream would go away and happy dreams would come back.

It is a missing the little Mom bad day today.  I got teary eyed when I went to the music store to pick up the music for both Christine and for Sarah.  Mom used to go all the time with me and look through the music to see what was there and what we wanted.  I miss going there with her.  She was always so excited when I bought new music.  If I bought some for me, she would immediately label it and catalogue it.  My music is all catalogue all thanks to Mom.  She spent hours getting it ready for me.  She copied almost all the original CDs so that I would have copies to give out instead of originals.  How cool is that?  Very, if you ask me.  I have 3 legal size file cabinets filled with music, so you can see what a big job this was.  Mom was just so organized that way.  I miss her organization skills as I am not as organized as she was.  She kept me nice and organized.  All my music was always put away when not in use.  I mean, I had it so good.  Just one more of a million reasons I miss her so much.  It is hard to believe how much you can miss one person in life.  It hurts physically at times with how much I miss her.  Today, it is not a physically hurt missing her day so that is good.  Either that or I have much better pain meds than I used to.  I would say it is just a super missing mom day without the physical pain of it.  I knew that when Mom passed away I would miss her this much.  I was warned ahead of time by one of my friends who has lost her mom how bad it would be so this isn't a surprise, I just don't know when it is going to get better.  Some days aren't too bad because I am busy but some are super bad.  I think if I get back into my writing this will help some because Mom liked my writing.  She would say go do some writing, you will feel better or go play the piano.  She was always saying things like that.  I feel like i honor her when I am teaching as she was so proud that I was a teacher and I think I will honor her again while I am writing.  The one thing she always told me (and several teachers have said too) is to never write a sentence or use a word you would be embarrassed to read out loud or read years down the road.  Always write what you would be proud to be read out loud.  It is something like that, I can't put it exactly the way they all said it, but you get the point.  Mom read pretty much everything I wrote.  She would do some spelling corrections at times or if a paragraph or a sentence didn't make sense she would mark it.  I miss having my own personal editor.  She was so good at that.  She was just a remarkable woman that is all I can say about my Mom.  She was the best.

It is going to be a decent day even though it is colder than it has been this week.  I am looking forward to a busy week with lessons and getting my new writing course.  I can't wait for that to come in.  I do hope you are having a good day too.

1 comment:

  1. your mom does sound like a remarkable woman...may she be at rest now, or organizing the Heavens! Have a restful day H..;j